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18" Barnyard Rooster Silhouette, $18 Click and Collect (Was $45) Masters - Chullora, NSW

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18" Barnyard Rooster Silhouette, $18 Click and Collect (Was $45) Masters - Chullora, NSW
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[Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 07:02 masters.com.au (3313 clicks)
Last edited 24/04/2016 - 10:31 by 1 other user

Just in time for Mother's Day!

This bright red cock/rooster/male chicken is designed for use as a stunning garden ornament, but could look equally impressive as it adorns your workplace.

Next week in the office: "Oh? You're looking for that report? It's just on the table over there under my large cock."

Was $44.98 then $30.00 - but once you add it to your cart you'll score 40% off, taking the price down to $18.00. You can pay for shipping, but is rather exxy.

NOTE: Pricing and availability based on the Chullora, NSW store.

EDIT: Some people seem to be looking for these in different colours and eBay appears to have some similar with this Metal Rooster Chicken Bird Standing Sculpture Ornament for $42.98 delivered.

EDIT: Some OzBargain MEMBERS have stated that cock is a colloquialism/slang term for part of the male sexual organs. To be clear, this is NOT what Masters is selling. It is a metal garden ornament. If you are were offended by the title of the post, please get your mind out of the gutter and try ABC Kids or the Australian Christian Lobby website for material less likely to distress you.

Home & Garden Art Garden Rooster

Related Stores

Masters Home Improvement
Masters Home Improvement

closed Comments

  • Zaddo on 24/04/2016 - 07:07
    +13

    I thought this was going to be the perfect Mothers day present for my wife.

    Zaddo on 24/04/2016 - 07:07 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 07:08
      +1

      Was?

      • Zaddo on 24/04/2016 - 07:10
        +23

        When I suggested it, she said her current 6" one was enough for her….

        • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 07:11

          Edit; replied to wrong person

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 24/04/2016 - 07:18
          +5

          6"

          That's a big strap on.

        • Zaddo on 24/04/2016 - 07:25
          +44

          Why the negative vote? She only has a small garden.

        • PVA on 24/04/2016 - 08:37
          +1

          Double your size hey?

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 24/04/2016 - 09:44
          +1

          @Zaddo: Don't forget to prune the bushes! Can get yourself in a pretty hairy situation if they start to outgrow.

        • GameChanger on 24/04/2016 - 09:50
          +1

          @Zaddo: Ozsexual provides some of the best comments

    • GammaMelb on 24/04/2016 - 07:12
      +3

      Could go well with this https://m.masters.com.au/product/101788896/australia-beach-b…

    • bargaino on 24/04/2016 - 15:09

      You married your mother?

  • GammaMelb on 24/04/2016 - 07:07
    +6

    These have been popular at my work place.

  • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 07:07
    +2

    Hehehe, so who's gonna go there?

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 07:09
      +14

      The real question is…who isn't going to go there? ;-)

      • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 07:13
        +2

        'Just in time for mothers day' :O

        Who will be so bold :D

    • dantione on 24/04/2016 - 12:41
      +4

      Disappointed that the cock disappeared, made my morning

  • Ravensbane on 24/04/2016 - 07:14
    +6

    waves hand "This is not the cock you are looking for"..

  • TheOneWhoKnocks on 24/04/2016 - 07:20
    +11

    Lol someone reported it for being inappropriate. Guess they're not a fan of big red cooks.

    • Ravensbane on 24/04/2016 - 07:30
      +15

      Thats racist. Cooks should be accepted regardless of their colour. I am sure the food is the same regardless.

      • TheOneWhoKnocks on 24/04/2016 - 07:39
        +4

        How did I not pick up on that. Ironically, my profile picture is that of a cook who has a big black cock ornament in his cooking shows.

        • Ravensbane on 24/04/2016 - 10:49
          +3

          Lmao my wife read that and snorted. Well played.

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 10:58

      Title changed? Alas, yes. We must protect childish people from themselves, it seems.

      Original post edited for clarity.

  • nikkirose on 24/04/2016 - 07:22
    +17

    Phrasing!

    • Mechz on 24/04/2016 - 08:17
      +12

      Are we still doing phrasing?

    • PainToad on 24/04/2016 - 08:39
      +7

      Anyone who doesn't get this reference should be banned.

      • StewBalls on 24/04/2016 - 08:54
        +2

        Boom! :)

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 13:07
      +7

      Do you want upvotes?! Because that's how you get upvotes!

      • nikkirose on 24/04/2016 - 13:17
        +3

        Are we even licensed for this kind of humour?

    • eatwell365 on 27/04/2016 - 05:36

      +1 for all of the above comments. Phrasing for the ESL.

  • mwblink86 on 24/04/2016 - 07:25
    +4

    18" is pretty small.

    • the-mal on 24/04/2016 - 10:14
      +8

      It really is. If I erect my cock in my front garden I expect passing traffic to be able to see it. 18" just won't cut it.

  • Miss B on 24/04/2016 - 07:25
    +2

    Available at South Morang, Vic too.

    • King Tightarse on 24/04/2016 - 09:47
      +6

      MY friend Sebastion thimply scoured Darlinghurst looking for a one of these in black.

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 10:59
      +1

      Great TIP.

  • tassieeagle on 24/04/2016 - 07:26
    +1

    This has the makings of an epic thread

    • WatchNerd on 24/04/2016 - 08:56
      +9

      If you are 10 years old.

      • PainToad on 24/04/2016 - 09:47
        +15

        You must be fun at parties.

        • WatchNerd on 24/04/2016 - 10:32
          +22

          I never get invited to parties.

        • attfiecz2 on 24/04/2016 - 21:01
          +5

          @28Degrees:Get yourself an 18 inch cock, you'll get invited to parties.

  • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 07:28
    +5

    I thought these only come in black.

    • carwashhair on 24/04/2016 - 08:19
      +22

      If they don't come in white, see a doctor

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 10:59
      +1

      Post updated with a link to a black one (similar and more expensive). You're welcome.

  • E4xtream on 24/04/2016 - 07:28
    +13

    Ah, for mother's day. Give her the cock she never had…

    • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 08:18
      +3

      Lol there we go!

    • MaMan on 24/04/2016 - 08:58
      +5

      She may well just slap you with it…does that then become a turkey slap?

    • cpho on 24/04/2016 - 10:41
      +3

      somethingsomething broken arms

  • bxpressiv on 24/04/2016 - 07:29
    +30

    If I came home with an 18 inch red cock my wife would say it looked ridiculous and ask where I thought I was putting it.

    • airzone on 24/04/2016 - 09:05
      +32

      If she won't let you in through the front door with it, try and sneak it through the back

      • shmahoo on 27/04/2016 - 14:02
        -1

        c'mon guys, a couple more +s and bxpressive and airzone can get their popular comment badges !!

  • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 07:35
    +6

    Where about in my garden am I supposed the put the 18" cock? Do you suggest the front or back of house? Also is it waterproof - don't want it shrinking if it gets wet.

  • mskeggs on 24/04/2016 - 07:35
    +13

    I giggled.
    Not unrelated:
    http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-lear…
    "That's like $200 worth of chicken for free"

    • robotdad on 24/04/2016 - 17:37
      +2

      Thanks, that's gold.

    • belongsinforums on 24/04/2016 - 18:53
      +1

      She wasted $100 on landfill, and she's happy about it? At least I regret my impulse purchases

    • LolitaNoir on 25/04/2016 - 09:35
      +1

      Hilarious!

  • 78zeros on 24/04/2016 - 07:38
    +5

    Perfect for software developers who find rubber duck debugging just doesn't suffice- now there's huge red cock debugging.
    Got a problem you can't figure out? Explain your code to your massive cock.

    • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 08:21
      +5

      And no more strange looks pulling your cock out in the office.

  • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 07:44
    +16

    I told my wife I'm going to my masters and I'll be looking for a huge cock. She seemed worried. She's had her doubts about me for ages.

  • jotay on 24/04/2016 - 07:45
    +3

    In some asian culture,no one gives clocks as pressies as "give clock" in cantonese sounds like "song zhong" which also sounds like another phrase that means "attending funeral".

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 08:14
      +3

      Plenty seem to take cocks in Asia. Not so sure about clocks.

      • jv on 24/04/2016 - 08:19
        +7

        That was a timely reply

  • ilikeit on 24/04/2016 - 07:48
    +2

    The missus wanted one but said she prefers a straight cock, not a wrinkly one like this.

    • effgee on 24/04/2016 - 07:53
      +7

      just remind her it'll straighten out a lot with a little attention

  • Scotch on 24/04/2016 - 07:52
    +2

    Not fond of cocks, masters might be pulling a swifty and shafting us on this deal but, each to their own. Surely, bunintheovengs have a comparable unit at a rock bottom price?

    • StewBalls on 24/04/2016 - 08:04
      +15

      You might get lucky & find one at Dick's before they pull out…

    • GameChanger on 24/04/2016 - 15:56
      +1

      Shafting you say?

  • djmm on 24/04/2016 - 07:57
    +4

    How can they call this garden art?

    • maxwellian on 24/04/2016 - 10:23
      +4

      Same way any of the clowns on etsy think their wares are worth the asking prices, delusion or LSD

      • Ravensbane on 24/04/2016 - 10:51
        +2

        My vote goes to LSD.

      • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 11:01
        +1

        ^^ THIS! (Well-said)

  • gadgetguy on 24/04/2016 - 08:03
    +2

    That cock is pretty ugly.

  • miq on 24/04/2016 - 08:09
    +2

    Does it come in a red box?

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 11:02
      +11

      I can confirm that they are sold without packaging. You can stuff it in your own box, of course.

  • Mosher on 24/04/2016 - 08:10
    +1

    should sell well in australia as we love a sunburnt country so why not a sunburnt cock

    • Lunchtime on 24/04/2016 - 08:24
      +3

      Your cock should always be wearing protection. SPF15+ sunscreen should help

  • Sage on 24/04/2016 - 08:11
    +12

    Come on reporters, get a sense of humour.
    The word cock does mean rooster, there's nothing wrong with using it here.
    Some people…

    • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 08:15
      +17

      Exactly some people just need a good 18" cock in their lives

    • Trantor on 24/04/2016 - 08:21
      +4

      its probably cock envy!

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 08:39
      +4

      Some people need to loosen up before considering an 18" cock, I guess they are disappointed with their little cocks which is why they are grouchy.

    • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2016 - 11:02

      Title changed? Alas, yes. We must protect childish people from themselves, it seems.

      Original post edited for clarity and to remove ANY chance of ambiguity.

      • Ashy Larry on 24/04/2016 - 13:37
        +2

        I deem your view of this deal to be cockeyed.

  • nickos888 on 24/04/2016 - 08:12
    +1

    You win ozbargain

  • jv on 24/04/2016 - 08:12
    +2

    This is fowl

    • Cluster on 24/04/2016 - 15:45
      +4

      What a poultry joke

  • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 08:14
    +5

    Will this cock scare away the birds?

    • jv on 24/04/2016 - 08:20
      +9

      It might attract pussies

      • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 08:28

        As long as the pussies don't sit on the pedestal. That's where I am placing this cock.

        • Ashy Larry on 24/04/2016 - 13:38
          +1

          Your putting the pusy on the pedestal man.

        • masuta on 24/04/2016 - 16:47
          +1

          @lukerips:
          If your man pedestal has pus see a doctor.

  • blackjacknz on 24/04/2016 - 08:20
    +18

    Might try and pricematch (-10%) at Bunnings…."Hi..can you beat my Masters 18" cock?"

    • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 08:23
      +1

      I dunno. If I pick up this cock from Masters I kinda feel like I would be cheating on Bunnings.

    • Scorpiogirl on 24/04/2016 - 08:29

      I dare u..You never know, you may get lucky 😉 Depends who answers i guess?

    • ausooi on 24/04/2016 - 14:03

      "Unfortunately we dont have such cocky ornament… But we do pricebeat policy so you can have our 19.8inch cock for the same price".

  • stonkered on 24/04/2016 - 08:24
    +2

    Lol 50 votes, has anyone actually purchased!? Good, good..

    • robb6014 on 24/04/2016 - 08:29
      +14

      I left a review (yet to be published on Masters website). It's titled "my wife loves this 18" cock". I suggest others leave reviews as well to help out fellow ozbargainers

      • SJDR on 25/04/2016 - 12:56

        It's up there now, with a few other helpful reviews :)

  • Vash1984 on 24/04/2016 - 08:34
    +7

    I'm going to go to masters and ask one of the employees "can you please help me find a huge red cock, it's for my mum".

  • krushgroove on 24/04/2016 - 08:36
    +1

    Once you go red, you never go back.

  • jso1980 on 24/04/2016 - 08:36
    -4

    I find that so much of the humor in Australia is always somehow related to sex…

    zzzzzzz

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