[Resolved] Bullied at Workplace (Seek Help/Quit?)

Black Brown Blue on 28/04/2021 - 11:06
Last edited 01/05/2021 - 12:03 by 2 other users

Hi

I am the only male employee in the workplace and I have been going through a lot of stress lately. The stress and anxiety is so much I don't even feel like going to the workplace. I have not taken a single day off this year whereas rest of workers take a sick day or two off every couple of weeks. I feel like I should quit and never look back, that will make me happy.

I have been considering talking to someone like psychologist or therapist, but it will not make any change to toxic work environment. My mental health has been severely affected and even on days off work I stress and worry about work related issues.

Update

  • I would like to thank each and every one who has posted constructive feedback and advise, really appreciate it.
  • I do not feel comfortable giving anymore details due to confidentiality
  • I am searching for a new job and will quit this job as soon I have new job offer.
  • Will also be speaking to a GP and/or counsellor.

Poll Options

  • 51
    Go to HR/management
  • 19
    Quit
  • 349
    Find a new job and quit
Education & Work

closed Comments

  • Cheaplikethebird on 28/04/2021 - 11:09
    +25

    What does the bullying entail?

      • coffeeinmyveins on 28/04/2021 - 13:27
        +113

        Being picked on by girls by the sounds of things. :)

        Implying that a man can't be bullied by a woman? ( I notice you used "girls" instead of "women" to belittle him for being bullied, as if men can't be if it's a woman.)

        • [Deactivated] on 28/04/2021 - 21:14
          +33

          picked on by girls

          I've seen the way that women bully their victims, especially a female target, in the workplace.

          It's systematic and insidious, and outright evil.

    • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 13:12
      +28

      Bullying can mean anything to anyone.

      I got reported for bullying before because I asked someone to do their work. I wasn't really sure at the start if my boss was joking or not.

      • SF3 on 28/04/2021 - 13:29
        +7

        I got reported for bullying before because I asked someone to do their work

        wow, the things snowflakes say to deflect attention away from themselves!

        • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 13:41
          +5

          My boss got reported to his boss for bullying a few months later for getting frustrated at dealing with her! We were just told to stay away from her.

          • mbck on 28/04/2021 - 14:24
            +3

            @bobbified: Omg what kind of a human being does that…

            As part of my work, I have to call insurance to get some payments for work done. And one woman from this specific insurance company would tell me: "oh there are too many invoice to check, I can't do it"

            It was literally her job to do this.

            Some people…

      • blergmonkeys on 29/04/2021 - 10:32
        +20

        I had a formal bullying complaint put against me once because I pointed out numerous dangerous work practices (I am a doctor) by another doctor (professionally and never as a personal attack). This complaint was put in 3 weeks before my last day of work there - HR themselves were dumbfounded by it. I got my claws out at that point, lawyered up with my indemnity and put in a scathing report re the dangerous practices by this doctor and my immediate boss at the time (who was trying to cover for her). I don't exactly know what happened after I left, but I heard from colleagues the boss was fired and the doctor reprimanded.

        Schadenfreude.

        Irrespective, OP - life is too short to be controlled by the negative emotions of others. If you can move on from this job, definitely do so.

      • BertieBrown on 29/04/2021 - 13:01

        I understand where you’re coming from, but, some people experience long term abuse, or trauma, which manifest in a myriad of ways. (I’m also not trying to assume anything about you personally, I don’t know your story, and it’s not my business frankly).

        Most people who experience trauma often don’t even realise it’s trauma, or abuse. They see the world through the lens of their abuse. So you might consider something that you’ve done is innocent, and in normal context it absolutely is, but for abused people it can be a totally a different context.

        For instance, for me if men get too close in my personal space, or yell at me, I get really uncomfortable, and I sometimes have flashbacks, because I was systemically abused, but for most men they wouldn’t even see it as anything unusual.

        So, I’m not trying to say you did anything wrong (I have no idea about the context), all I wanted was to point out that sometimes people might appear to overreact in some situations, but it could be a sign that they have some past stuff that they’re trying to work through.

        • [Deactivated] on 29/04/2021 - 22:26
          +2

          Even so, in a work setting, it's inappropriate to make a colleague the "caretaker".

          We all have issues in some form. Everyone, man or woman, just wants to get through the day. It's not my colleague's responsibility to bend for me and/or to tend to me emotionally.

          yell at me

          That's abusive behaviour from man/woman. Should not be tolerated. Is not "normal" healthy communication style.

          Set your own boundaries if you have to. If you need to work on building assertiveness, seek help from a professional if easier. All the best.

        • [Deactivated] on 01/05/2021 - 11:22

          @Jawanzar Once upon a time, the world and you, would acknowledge that YOU were with a mental illness (or at least mentally atypical) and that it was YOUR responsibility to resolve it or chose a career and role that allowed you to function within your self-admittedly limited social capacities.

          I feel for your past experiences however if you are unable to function in present reality due the intrusion of past events into your activities of daily living I don't see how it is incumbent on everyone else to modify their natural and moral behaviours to account for your limitations. As an example, personally I can't sit for long periods so, I would not consider going to an opera and standing up in the middle of the event for my 'self-care' or applying for a desk job.

          Your discomfort is not my problem, or your workmates or your employer - it is yours - I would try to accommodate you BUT any expectation and blame is simply the projection of insecurities and fear.

  • FoxJump on 28/04/2021 - 11:10
    +27

    Sorry mr wolfpack to hear your pain.

    But … reading your wall of text does not actually tell me what it is that is causing the stress, or anxiety.

    It's OKAY to take sick leave when you're sick or even a mental health day. If you must, take some days sick days off. It is unfair to judge someone on the fact that they take sick days off or not.

    What is causing the stress or anxiety? Is it because you're the only male employee at work?

    • SF3 on 28/04/2021 - 11:14
      +27

      only male employee at work?

      SlavOz's co-worker?

      • diddy50 on 29/04/2021 - 14:43
        +1

        this needs to be highlighted in the comments.

        • Alligate on 29/04/2021 - 19:50
          +1

          The top comment, maybe.

    • AustriaBargain on 29/04/2021 - 00:08
      +1

      You mustn’t do much reading it that looks like a wall of text to you.

      • Blitzfx on 29/04/2021 - 14:14

        In this day and age, a 5 line paragraph is a wall of text.

  • SF3 on 28/04/2021 - 11:12
    +1

    Bullied at Workplace

    My apologies, but I'm not able identify the specifics, of what you are alleging?

    What you describe sounds like a common workplace.

  • Almost Banned on 28/04/2021 - 11:26
    +20

    I'm sorry but everybody knows that only males harrass or bully or victimise women.
    It cannot ever be the reverse.
    Its because of systemic misogyny don't you know.

    • djkelly69 on 28/04/2021 - 11:33
      +12

      Apt username

    • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 12:07
      +35

      I don't think anyone got your sarcastic comment! lol

      • ThithLord on 28/04/2021 - 12:44
        +10

        Yeah ,it couldn't possibly be that the comment lacked any originality or edginess and was pure cringe, right?

        • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 13:06
          +1

          Don't worry, he's Almost Banned!

        • havebeerbelywillsumo on 28/04/2021 - 14:57
          -2

          (to thithlord) So pure that the thought simply HAD to cross your mind,,,is this real??? IMO…….anon neggers are useless beggers

    • Almost Banned on 29/04/2021 - 13:50
      +3

      Wow - 31 - votes and 30 + in 24 hours.
      There should be some type of badge for that.
      Hilarious.

      • Blitzfx on 29/04/2021 - 14:26

        surprising amount of negs for a sarcastic comment

        Looks like half the community isn't so woke (for better or worse) that the premise of your comment is SO outrageous, that it has to be a joke/sarcasm.

        • GrueHunter on 30/04/2021 - 09:24
          +1

          Still waiting for them to confirm it was a joke and not yet another "help help I'm male and I'm being systematically oppressed by a global feminist conspiracy" rant.

  • wizzy on 28/04/2021 - 11:28
    +3

    I think we need to hear a bit more about what is causing your stress. Is being the only male relevant? Is it part of the reason for your anxiety? What work do you do?

    There may be several options to consider, but please tell us more.

    • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 10:22
      +6

      At the risk of sending Ozbargain into another woke hissy-fit, being the only male in a team or company can definitely be challenging. Nobody, absolutely NOBODY, would ever question a woman if she said she felt uncomfortable as the only female in a workplace, yet for some reason the tolerance of men who report the same issue is harshly little.

      Culture is a real thing in the workplace and so is biology. The two work together quite viciously if left unchecked. Women are inherently different to men and when one gender controls the culture, it's very easy for the other to become marginalised.

      • ddhar on 29/04/2021 - 12:14
        +1

        I've been in workplaces where I was the minority male and I can somewhat relate. It's not so bad at entry-level roles where everyone is somewhat equal. The political shitfight starts at the senior/managerial level. I can't begin to imagine how bad it is to be the only male in such places.

        To the OP, if you're truly unhappy, seek a new role elsewhere. You could report the bullying to your superior but, unless you can prove it and the bully is not a 'protected' staff member, you risk making things worse for yourself.

      • wizzy on 29/04/2021 - 12:22
        +4

        I don't doubt it. I have been the only female in a workplace and have experienced it myself.

        However, prior to OP's update we didn't have enough details to know if this was the problem in this specific case. With the update, however, it sounds like it is.

        What I can tell you is that you are mistaken in thinking that nobodby would ever question a women if she said she felt uncomfortable as the only female in a workplace. I have been in that position. I have been physically touched inappropriately against my will, and when I spoke up I was told that I must have "misunderstood."

        That is only one example. Both sexes can find it challenging to be the only member of their own sex in the workplace and both sexes can be disregarded when they report it.

        • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 13:13
          -6

          FWIW, I believe you were sexually assaulted purely because of the way you approached telling it.

          This is obviously touching on a very vocal issue in modern day society (ie women not being believed over sexual assault claims), but the key there is that most of the women claiming to have been sexually assaulted are clearly doing so out of callous and looking to gain something.

          History would note that those who speak the quietest are often telling the truth. The most vocal ones are professional shit-talkers. As you can tell, I'm usually quite skeptical when women make such claims, purely because there's always a lack of evidence. But a few years ago I caught up with a former female colleague from an old job. We spoke about the time we worked together and she ended up saying that she left (quietly) because she was sexually assaulted. I believed her instantly.

          • Cliche Guevara on 29/04/2021 - 13:25
            +2

            @SlavOz: In SlavOz's perfect world women would only ever be seen and never heard…

            • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 16:05

              @Cliche Guevara: Pretty much. Watching porn on mute is the only way to go.

            • Melong on 29/04/2021 - 19:58

              @Cliche Guevara: Blessed be the fruit

              • Cliche Guevara on 30/04/2021 - 07:16

                @Melong: Not that I particularly care about the negs, but I should probably have made clear I don't agree with SlavOz. My comment was ment to be a commentary on his attitude towards women, which I am completely at odds with.

                • Melong on 30/04/2021 - 14:03

                  @Cliche Guevara: Praise be:)

                • SlavOz on 30/04/2021 - 18:30

                  @Cliche Guevara: What is this "at odds with attitude" towards woman that you accuse me of having? I'm genuinely curious.

                  • Cliche Guevara on 30/04/2021 - 18:56
                    +2

                    @SlavOz: You will deny it, but you come across as having an attitude best described as misogynistic.

      • GrueHunter on 30/04/2021 - 09:25

        Nobody, absolutely NOBODY, would ever question a woman if she said she felt uncomfortable as the only female in a workplace

        Spoken like somebody who's never worked for a rural fire service.

        • Maz1 on 30/04/2021 - 13:04

          Care to… elaborate??? Your comment seems to imply you think a substantial portion of the population has worked for a rural fire service but I for one have not. What’s the deal with rural fire service?

          • Laurana on 01/05/2021 - 00:03

            @Maz1: He didn’t imply that a substantial portion of the population has worked for a rural fire service. He implied that he has first hand knowledge that the rural fire service has a history of questioning women who feel uncomfortable in the workplace.

            Some elaboration would be appreciated though, as I hadn’t heard it before so interested in hearing Grues experience.

        • SlavOz on 30/04/2021 - 18:30

          No, I haven't, but in my experience if a woman ever said she didn't feel comfortable as a sole female in a large team of fire-fighters, most people would take her seriously.

          • Laurana on 01/05/2021 - 00:11

            @SlavOz: I don’t believe this is the case in most male dominated professions. Perhaps in the corporate world (though I find it unlikely if it is solely one woman in a full team of men) but my anecdotical experience with gardening, construction, etc has been the complete opposite.

            I think the fact that women are being listened to (and respected) a lot more in social media and corporate/office environments makes you feel like this is the case everywhere but it really is not.

    • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 10:30
      +14

      What a shit response. So because you faced no issues in a team full of women, it must mean all women worldwide could never possibly do anything wrong and anyone who dares question this dogma is probably just being a misogynistic bigot?

      If you needed to work in a team of 100 women to realise that men and women are equal, I would suggest you reconsider you own attitude before belittling others.

      • MementoMori on 29/04/2021 - 14:10
        -1

        Men and women are NOT equal.

        One has a penis, the other, a vagina. One can even make babies.

        Plus 6,500 other differences (softer skin, deeper voice, body hair, height, BF%, etc) - https://wis-wander.weizmann.ac.il/life-sciences/researchers-…

        Then we have career choices, interests, choices around number of hours worked and a host of other things.

        They should be treated with equal amounts of opportunity, love and respect, of course - a given - but are not equal.

        • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 16:14
          +2

          I agree with your premise, but your evidence points to the fact that men and women are not the same, not that they aren't equal.

          Although tbf, even suggesting that men and women are different is becoming a hugely sensitive and controversial issue in modern day dialogue. I know many women who get offended at it, and it's slowly becoming a NSFW topic. This is actually ironic considering that the general consensus among political correctness is that men are evil oppressors responsible for all of the world's problems. So if men and women AREN'T different from each other, it must mean that women are evil oppressors too.

          • cydia9k on 01/05/2021 - 00:19

            @SlavOz: I want to say this is pointless semantics, but it seems that some people genuinely need to be walked through these things.

            In an ideal society, all people would be entitled to a relative equal outcome. Good luck getting a bunch of monkeys to make that happen.

            • SlavOz on 01/05/2021 - 01:04

              @cydia9k:

              In an ideal society, all people would be entitled to a relative equal outcome.

              I hope to God you made an error and meant equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome.

              Equality of outcome is a dangerous and outright wicked idea. It's essentially when you get to the point of saying "there are too many rich white brain surgeons, let's hire some barely qualified people to perform brain surgery just because they're Black".

              • cydia9k on 01/05/2021 - 09:13

                @SlavOz: I hope to Jesus Christ the man upstairs that you also made an error, I think you've got that backwards.

                Don't project your ideas onto what I said, it's a simple concept that can't realistically be achieved and therefore shouldn't be persued.

                pay attention to my wording - entitlement to a relative equal outcome.

                • SlavOz on 01/05/2021 - 10:32

                  @cydia9k: Sorry, but I can't take any post seriously so long as it contains the word "equal outcome".

                  Aside from participation trophies for kids (which have been proven to be ineffective anyway), the only other time society has pursued any form of equal outcomes is Socialism or Capitalism. The Nazi Party also had somewhatsimilar ideals.

                  Suffice to say, history has made a pretty clear verdict on these movements.

                  • cydia9k on 01/05/2021 - 10:47

                    @SlavOz: I get that it's a polarising term. We are in agreeance that it isn't a worthwhile pursuit, but I think for different reasons.

                    The concept is much nicer than the reality of enacting / enforcing that idea on a population.

                    On a moral level I think equal outcome makes sense as a state to strive for, it just isn't compatible with how people and society function.

                    I say 'relative' equal as I understand that the outcome must be realised in a unique way, with personal and external factors greatly amplifying/diminishing opportunity.

                    • SlavOz on 01/05/2021 - 11:01

                      @cydia9k:

                      On a moral level I think equal outcome makes sense as a state to strive for

                      I would urge you to reconsider. Equality of outcome is inherently immoral.

                      If there are 2 poor men and 1 rich man in a room, and the 2 poor men tie up the rich man and force him to share his money, is that moral?

                      • cydia9k on 01/05/2021 - 11:40

                        @SlavOz: No, you are correct. An enforced outcome is not ideal at best, tyrannical at worst.

                        I would never suggest to 'implement' anything to influence/guarantee equal outcome, and I don't think an 'ideal society' is actually achievable.

                        What we can do to influence in the direction of equal outcome is consciously work to remove systemic barriers with respect to all.

                        Not an impossible task, but you know.. monkeys..

        • starlancer on 29/04/2021 - 18:50
          +1

          Equal yes, Same no. Gosh they are equal to men, but not same. So I think I understand what you meant to say .. which is of course why they should be entitled to the same opportunity, love and respect. Even if they are not same as men ☺️

        • Alligate on 29/04/2021 - 20:04

          Equal does not have the same meaning as identical.

          And you should probably cop to that misunderstanding, rather than doubling down on the idiotic comment you've made.

          • MementoMori on 30/04/2021 - 09:37

            @Alligate: Equal as a verb does mean identical - e.g. 1 = 1, be the same

            Equal as an adjective can mean 'having the ability or resources to meet (a challenge)', which is the context here, so yes, agreed.

    • tasty-falafel on 29/04/2021 - 10:49
      +1

      Not sure if you meant it, but this comment is hilariously misogynistic.

      Did you have the same revelation when you first worked with a person of colour?

      • syousef on 29/04/2021 - 16:34
        +2

        The term for discrimination against men and boys is misandry. And I've seen a lot of it lately. I've repeatedly encountered groups of women who insist men literally cannot be sexually discriminated against since ALL men have privilege. They ignore the fact that many men do not have privilege and that there are situations in society that clearly discriminate against men. Then they insist that if you disagree it is because you are sexist trash. And if you ever point out incidents where you have been discriminated against, they literally laugh at you, dismiss the incidents, rant about "me too ism" (how ironic). Those women are not interested in equality or improving things for anyone unfortunately.

        Hate is hate. If you want respect, treat everyone with genuine respect instead of looking at their chromosomes and genitals before deciding if they are worthy of your empathy and fair dealing.

        • SlavOz on 30/04/2021 - 10:25
          +1

          Ironically, many parts of our system are actually built for women while leaving men behind. A good example is the education system - it punishes kids who question things or try to approach learning in a different way. Students who keep their heads down and remain quiet get rewarded - and that's usually the girls.

          If you look at history, men are always the ones who stand up and question authority (which can be good and bad). In psychology, it's well known and accepted that men are less agreeable. They won't shy away from conflict or making their voice heard. This is just the way men are made, and they get punished for it at school.

          The education system inherently favours girls as they are much less likely to challenge the status quo. There's a reason most of the "bad" kids are boys and that girls do far better in almost all sectors of education.

  • tsunamisurfer on 28/04/2021 - 11:34

    What are the sources of the stress?

    Is being the lone male relevant?

    Provide some examples of what events take place.

    Is your company large and have a HR department or a smaller enterprise?

    • Orico on 28/04/2021 - 12:09
      +8

      Is being the lone male relevant?

      Yes. He's probably being trash talked every day, being spoken to rudely and given dirty looks by a bunch of females, no hope for promotion because you stand your ground, upper management are probably male who love the female gender quota etc.

    • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 13:16
      -1

      Is being the lone male relevant?

      Too many options to choose from!

  • studentl0an on 28/04/2021 - 11:36
    +6

    Collate evidence and if objectively damning then blackmail them into a very nice redundancy package.

    If it's just the sick days then you're not being bullied and may have developed a victim complex which will be very negative to your health in the long term. It can't hurt to explore meditation and changing your diet to a healthier one with less processed carbs.

    • pegaxs on 28/04/2021 - 14:31
      -4

      "Victim complex"… fixed with meditation and less carbs… Best. Doctor. Ever!

      Sure you don't want to throw in some herbs, candles and maybe some healing stones?? Maybe add some "man up" in there or a dash of "grow some balls"… all as equally helpful…

      • studentl0an on 28/04/2021 - 15:33
        +14

        There's been a lot of primary empirical research done in recent years showing a strong connection between diet (particularly excess carb intake) and mental illnesses.

        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131727/
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7387764/
        https://www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m2382

        I understand you find it humorous, but the science is solid and the connection is there.

        For you to suggest meditation isn't helpful for mental illnesses is equally preposterous. Here's more research articles showing why there is a strong connection between meditation and increasing one's mental health.
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719544/
        https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/mindfulness-meditation-m…
        https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/irish-journal-of-psy…
        https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/irish-journal-of-psy…

        If you could get the effects of a better diet and meditation in pill form it would be a trillion dollar invention. But you can't because it takes an open mind, lifestyle changes and dedication - and the studies show it works.

        Meditation and a low carb diet also help with increasing testosterone and sperm counts, things that are in sharp decline in areas where high carb processed foods are the norm.
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4517920/ (note the correlation between high carb diet and abnormal fertility)
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6469372/ (note how those who meditate have a much higher quality fertility)

        So while it may be funny to you to laugh at my suggestion (which it really was just a suggestion in my original comment - I wasn't giving medical advice), I think it would be much better for you to take the science into consideration and make changes to your life for the better, for yourself and those around you.

        • pegaxs on 28/04/2021 - 16:13
          -3

          Sorry, I missed all that, still trying to get my head around "victim complex". Or did you mean that the people who are treating OP like shit at work are the ones who need to meditate, self reflect and eat less carbs?

          "Victim complex" seems to sound a lot like you telling OP that all the bullying is in their head? And the path to fixing it is to align their chakras?

          While I get that maybe helping OP build some resilience to being bullied could help, I don't think it is a long term solution (ie: doesnt solve the under pinning issue of people bullying them). There is only so much calming chamomile tea one can consume to help themselves. It certainly doesn't stop the other office workers from being arseholes.

          • studentl0an on 28/04/2021 - 16:21
            +11

            @pegaxs: OP only listed other people taking sick days as evidence of bullying. I suggested that if that is their only claim that they are being bullied - that is evidence to me of a possible victim complex. I didn't write they have it, I wrote "may have". My suggestion was "can't hurt to try", not that they must do it and that it's the only way forward as you insinuate.

            Diet and mindfulness are very effective at combating a possible victim complex, which if left unchecked could snowball into serious life events. I'm trying to give helpful advice, you laugh at others rather than help, so I backed up my statements with empirical primary research articles so that others (not necessarily you) can see that my position is one of consideration and fact.

            Diet changes and mindfulness are the long term solutions to many illnesses we see today. Pills should be for when those fail, not before. Studies show how effective mindfulness and diet are with many illnesses. People like you laugh and are dismissive.

          • Kangal on 28/04/2021 - 22:52
            +7

            @pegaxs: Developing a victim-complex is a real phenomenon.
            It happens to guys, girls, and all races and ages. And sure in a small pinch it can be useful, or beneficial even. But if it is sustained and frequent, your mentality shifts rapidly, and your outlook is very pessimistic.

            So studentl0an is right to question it. And it's not rude to bring it up, or talk about the possibility. I heard one study showed the difference between people with optimistic outlook versus pessimistic outlook itself accounted for 8 years of life expectancy. Pretty big impact actually.

            • SlavOz on 29/04/2021 - 10:50

              @Kangal: Modern day victim complex is almost 100% a product of our disgraceful media.

              We've gotten to the point where women or minorities who proudly boast about NOT having a victim complex are passed off as trolls, Nazis, bigots, racists etc.

              It's no surprise then that so many people are believing that they're victims of an imaginary culprit, usually personified by white males.

              • Cheaplikethebird on 29/04/2021 - 14:26
                +1

                @SlavOz: Mate do you understand anything outside of the context of culture wars?

                I'm pretty sure people here are saying that this person is potentially seeing everything as negative which materialises as negative outcomes in ones life. That's the assumption I made after reading them complain about their colleague's sick days then point to their own record. A couple sick days isn't always the difference between a productive and unproductive employee and I would hope my employees weren't coming into the office sick off of some hero complex. Also I think OzBargain as a community decided in a recent thread that it is unwise to assume another person's workload.

        • Bjingo on 29/04/2021 - 14:33

          I too have some issues with what you said, mainly with proposing a victim complex.

          A victim complex is a severe issue that few people actually have, it is the legitimate belief that everything is happening at the detriment to you. It is not someone just trying to play the system The person with the complex always believes issues are occurring directly to them, its never we are the victim, only I am the victim and is often derived from past traumas, people with PTSD often have it. An individual with a victim complex don't want to seek help or a solution nor do they propose them they only complain about the issues, they don't want their problem fixed and will reject any real attempt to solve it. Just the fact he has asked for help and proposed solution shows that there is no victim complex. Calling situations like this a victim complex diminishes the severity of an actual victim complex.

          The benefit of meditation comes from internal self awareness the act of meditation itself is really just sitting in silence without distraction, don't get me wrong, i think it great for you everyone should sit in silence and reflect on oneself. People get weird about the term meditation because it is associated with a lot of spiritual stuff.

          Also I hate this demonization of all carbohydrates, not all carbohydrates are bad for you. it is next to impossible to eat 0 carbs, and I don't want to hear none of this net carb garbage that is terminology food companies used so they can put "only 3g of net carbs" on their protein bars.

          Our body functions off of carbohydrates (glucose) so when you are eating a keto diet your energy is derived from the fact your body converts the fats you eat into carbohydrates and then uses that to create energy. People need to learn about the types of carbohydrates and when they are good or bad. The main difference you need to look for is how long it takes to digest the energy source. complex carbs and fats digest slowly so your glucose levels do not spike, simple carbs cause a spike.

          I think it is pretty likely that what is actually bad for health would be irregular blood sugar levels. Which would explain why people with diabetes often have issues with fertility.

          edit: turns out it might have been more about carbs

  • geek001 on 28/04/2021 - 11:38
    +1

    If taking sick days are the norm, I think you cough deserve cough a sick day or two, maybe. On the lighter side, if work was fun, they wouldn't have to pay you to do it. :)

    Stress can lead to many bad outcomes, it would be good if you have someone to talk to and share your thoughts. Sometimes this will help you put things into perspective and figure out what to do next.

  • dust on 28/04/2021 - 11:46
    +1

    Is it stressful because of the type of work or are you getting bullied at work?

    Also, mental health days are definitely a thing, just take a few days off for mental health?

  • djkelly69 on 28/04/2021 - 11:54
    +6

    Assuming you have some sick/personal leave banked up, I would be getting a medical certificate related to the stress and taking some time off, as well as looking for a new job in that time.

  • Porker on 28/04/2021 - 11:55
    +20

    Speak to a GP in the first instance.

    You should NOT do anything life-changing based on your (possibly) instantaneous feeling of negativity. There will be avenues you can pursue with respect to speaking to outside-work assistance.

    As example, imagine if you quit and then find that the stress was originating from something else, but only manifesting itself while at work. Or you assumed it was work-related.

    There's too little information in your post to say that work is the cause for your condition, hence speak to a professional and have them assess/assist you through this difficult time.

    An OZB poll is NOT the appropriate action for you. Eg. you quit based on the poll outcome - many others don't know your financial situation or dependencies such that that action could impact your family and others close to you.

    • MontyMacaw on 29/04/2021 - 08:47
      +1

      Porker NAILED IT.

    • MrSammyMcG on 29/04/2021 - 17:44
      +2

      Yeah and plenty of ozbargainer's while great at posting deals are not the most compassionate individuals. You're in to get roasted for something.

      • cashless on 29/04/2021 - 22:24
        +1

        Roast porker?

  • bobbified on 28/04/2021 - 12:05
    +4

    I am the only male employee in the workplace

    If I think back to when I was 26, I'd be laughing to be surrounded by females (Actually, come to think about it now, I would still be happy!). There's always the bad ones, but I find it hard to believe that every single one is bullying you.

    The stress and anxiety is so much I don't even feel like going to the workplace. I have not taken a single day off this year whereas rest of workers take a sick day or two off every couple of weeks.

    The stress and anxiety of watching everyone else taking sick days? Why aren't you not taking sick days too? Because you obviously need to take a few days off.

  • Orico on 28/04/2021 - 12:07
    +1

    I am the only male employee in the workplace and I have been going through a lot of stress lately.

    I was in a similar situation where my upper managers and HR were all female. Basically, a bunch of racist people born from foreign countries known for every day racial discrimination who lived in the Sutherland Shire of Sydney, and not the nice part, the bush part. I did end up taking the matter to my executive who was male but he lived overseas. He ordered HR to change the culture of gossiping, reputation destruction, and conniving games between HR and management, but I left because there was no point working for known racists who were not going to be severely disciplined or sacked.

  • this is us on 28/04/2021 - 12:11

    Psychotherapy won't change the environment, but could help with you surviving there, or making a decision around staying or leaving, what is better for you. Talk to your GP, get a mental health plan, and go for it.

  • Seraphin7 on 28/04/2021 - 12:13

    Without knowing any of the details of your situation, and on the assumptions that (1) gaining alternative employment is relatively straight forward for you and (2) the matters you are referring to are genuinely workplace specific, it's time to resign and move on.

  • MS Paint on 28/04/2021 - 12:14
    +11

    OP is too busy being bullied to reply?

    • jv on 28/04/2021 - 15:27
      +4

      They saw his forum post and hand cuffed him to a chair.

    • SF3 on 28/04/2021 - 15:33
      +2

      keyboard got taken away?

  • dogboy on 28/04/2021 - 12:40
    +1

    Are you a nurse?

    • MS Paint on 28/04/2021 - 12:52
      +29

      Too busy banking $200k pa

      • pegaxs on 28/04/2021 - 14:31

        Those 20 hour days will take it out of you…

      • megaalc on 28/04/2021 - 21:00

        lol

      • Homr on 29/04/2021 - 21:25

        loving these previous trending forums references

  • Rilo 117 on 28/04/2021 - 13:25

    Reading this makes me thing of the below article I read lately;

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9298685/Male-lab-wo…

    I think therapy would help.

    Workplace however, depends on if you want to stick around or not. I myself would make the issue known with HR but look for another job on the side.

  • holdenmg on 28/04/2021 - 13:30
    +3

    Have a look at:

    Bullying & harassment
    https://www.fairwork.gov.au/employee-entitlements/bullying-a…

    If any of that fits, then scroll on down to:
    Where to get help

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