Daughter Doesn't Want to Return Her Mum`s Life Saving

Jam92 on 28/11/2020 - 20:47
Last edited 30/11/2020 - 11:25 by 1 other user

Hello Guys

Thank you for your time
We wanted to get your thoughts and any guidance you guys can offer about a messy situation that my Best friend mother is in.
My Friends mother gave her 2nd daughter and her husband a substantial amount of money(150k) half her life saving for purchasing their first home last year for their deposit on the understanding that they will return the money back once they move into the new house, however after the settlement they completely stopped talking to the Mother , no communication and also does not allow her to see the grandkids :-(.
The 2 kids have grown up with their grandma by their side since birth and she has looked after then almost every day as the daughter would always say she is too tired to look after 2 kids (the daughter doesn’t work)

Since last year the mother has gone into severe depression as not being able to see the grand kids and being felt used and abused by her own daughter both emotionally and financially
Now 2 weeks ago my friend found out that the house that the 2nd daughter who purchased the house using her mother’s funds has the property for sale and which is currently under offer. When my friend told her mother about this, she then said she had given even more money to the second daughter and her husband prior to them purchasing the house for the husband to purchase a Food Truck (around 50k)
Her mother has been asking for them to return the money that she gave them since last year but they have blocked her # and do not even open the door when she goes to their house, once day she sat in her car in front of the house from 7 am to about 10 pm and both daughter and husband kept going in and out and ignored her calls to talk to them or let her see the grandkids

Now she wants her money back and doesn’t know what to do , they have seem a lawyer who has not been that great as when they spoke to him first he said he would send them a Letter of demand and give them 7 days to pay and if they don’t then put a caveat on the house and that he will get her money back but he also stopped responding to calls and did not do anything for the first 7 days and only after a week went my they were able to get in touch with another solicitor from the same firm who has just send out a Letter of demand 2 days ago giving them 7 days to pay but has said that she can’t put a caveat on the property as it’s not a caveatable interest which is not what the first lawyer from the same firm advised based on which she paid the lawyer fees.

We would appreciate if anyone could advice or help on what can my friends mother do to get her money back.

The daughter who took the money had also sent a handwritten card last year saying " Thanks mum for the money to purchase our house, we will return it once we move in "
The husband is a bad person, he first married to an Aussie to get a PR then divorced her and now this. When her mother asked him about his previous marriage he said in his religion he can marry 3-4 times its allowed

Please keep the comments clean as their family is going through a tough time.
Thank you all in advance

Edit 1 Since lot of people as asking

Examples of why Grandma believes the husband is not a nice person :

Being married before to get a PR and then divorced the girl once his PR was granted

Kept pressuring and pushing her daughter to come to grandma asking for money for the the food truck

Telling her daughter to strictly start following his religion if she wants to be with him

Forcing her to wear the traditional head attire in public , and the cruelest of all

Getting angry, abusive and blaming her daughter when they found out their second child is also a GIRL not a BOY. Left her pregnant daughter in the mall when she went and bought little baby girl clothes for child to come telling her that its her fault that she's giving birth to a girl not a boy .

The money for the house was given after the second child where the daughter would come to grandma and literally crying and begging for the money to help her family get a house of their own

Grandma was in touch with her daughter through all this via phone and catch ups without telling the husband. But after the settlement even this stopped and last phone call from her she said that She is changing her religion and Name doesn't want the grandma to have anything with her and she dare not let the kids go visit or see the grandma

Financial

Comments

      • Traveller107 on 29/11/2020 - 19:25

        Very unfortunate and sad.

  • screensaver on 29/11/2020 - 16:00

    they are always going to use those kids as bargaining chips but they have shown their true colours. She cant even make a deal to call the money a gift on condition she can see her grandkids. They wont keep their side of the bargain. The daughter may have blocked access anyway if she didnt loan her the money. She may have no choice but to fight for the money and hope the marriage breaks down and this horrible man is out of the picture. There is always the risk he will take the children overseas. But he may abandon them, best case scenario. He is likely to leave when the money runs out

  • earth worm jim on 29/11/2020 - 16:39
    +4

    This has nothing to do with the husband. His character assaination won't bring you any relief because this issue has nothing to do with him. You can badmouth his religion, his previous marriage and whatever and it won't help. You are trying to find a scapegoat and too blind to blame the daughter while being borderline racist trying to do so. Ultimately the issue is between the mother and daughter. If she refuses to return the money the mother needs to contact a lawyer and get proper advice. Collect evidence that the payment was made like bank transfer receipts, any letters, messages etc.

    • screensaver on 29/11/2020 - 17:29
      +1

      he lied about a property being sold overseas to pay back the money. He found a good partner in his wife. They are as bad as each other. The food truck will fail because it was easy money to him and he wont take care of it. At least they will have to rent again. Probably Paid for by taxpayers

    • morse on 29/11/2020 - 19:32
      +3

      It does have to do with the husband as much as the daughter- they are married with shared finances, they are equally responsible.

      • earth worm jim on 29/11/2020 - 19:51
        -1

        It was clearly was a verbal agreement between a mother and daughter. Something her husband can deny or expresses ignorance over. It wasn't an agreement in which he was involved and therefore is not legally responsible for. How his religion, first marriage, PR visa and brain washing his wife to wear head scarf is relevant in this is even more far reaching of the op.

        • morse on 29/11/2020 - 20:42
          +3

          Without any of the religious issues, it’s just the law in Australia. You’re liable for the debt your spouse takes on - so chose a spouse wisely if you can. I have no idea what either of these individuals are like, but they’re married so they are in it together. Presumably the husband is living in the house with the wife, he can’t claim to know nothing about his wife’s financial affairs.

          • earth worm jim on 29/11/2020 - 21:11
            -4

            @morse: As a general rule that's correct. However its equitable distribution. If you can prove debt was acquired unreasonably then you are not liable for it… verbal agreemnts for e.g. can come in that category.

            • morse on 29/11/2020 - 21:38
              +2

              @earth worm jim: I don’t know for sure but in this case, I’d guess the husband was aware. How do you not know where the money came from for a house you’re living in with your wife? He would have known they didn’t have the deposit, then all of it a sudden they had the deposit. Likely his name is on the mortgage, so he would have had to sign off on their reported financial situation. I feel sorry for people who are genuinely ripped off by their spouse, but I don’t think this is the case here. The husband and wife should repay the debt and move on - they should have the means to do so if they are selling the house.

            • Jackson on 30/11/2020 - 15:00
              +1

              @earth worm jim: I agree with the sentiment that race shouldn't come into it, and it's clear some people here have had their bias affected, but him not knowing is nonsense. 50k was for a food truck for him. Certainly his wife didn't buy the food truck without him knowing and just surprise him with a new job one day. If a wife of mine suddenly came into 50k, I sure would make it my business to find out where it came from, let alone 200k.

              • 91rs on 30/11/2020 - 16:12

                @Jackson: Maybe she just said it's her income from OF …

              • earth worm jim on 30/11/2020 - 16:32
                -3

                @Jackson: He very well may be aware of it and probably is. But when it comes to verbal agreements its your word over mine. If the husband says I had no clue of this, how can the mother in law prove that he was the one scheming. Does she have co signed agreements, or did she directly transfer money to his account… apparently she doesnt even talk to him. I am only saying, the issues is primarily something the daughter needs to take a stand for and not her "evil brain washing" husband who is apparently the root of all problems who the op is bad mouthing all over the internet because of his visa status, religion and what not.
                I am surprised how quickly things like these become an issue of race and toxic masculinity while the female gets absolved of any wrongdoing. Just amazing.

                • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 17:00
                  +2

                  @earth worm jim: amazing you cant see how horrible this person is regardless of his race or religion, simply for the trouble he has caused to get easy money he hasnt earned, and trying to keep it. He is clearly involved. This is the kind of scum that should be deported, and jailed as well for theft

                • Jackson on 30/11/2020 - 17:17

                  @earth worm jim: Like I said I agree with the sentiment, but anyone who doesn't know what their husband/wife is doing in cases like this is a complete gumby. And without knowing them, anything could be happening, so no possibilities are invalid. It's not a defence IMO to say that one person is a crap partner/spineless idiot and so they are off the hook, they are clearly both crap people for either concocting this issue or not helping resolve it. The difference is that people can understand that a female may be more inclined to be intimidated by a male, rather than the other way around, although I have definitely seen that happen on occasion.

                  Different topic, but take a look at the Joseph Fritzl case, if that wife didn't know that the baby she had wasn't in that bunker for 20 years having her own kids to her husband… come on. It's impossible, and the police agree, although it's a bit of a moot point for them because it's hard to prove and that lady has lived a hell on earth and nothing they can do will punish her more than she has been already.

  • aerona on 29/11/2020 - 16:51
    +1

    Problem here is loaning someone money and expecting it back. Everyone knows once you loan money, you consider it lost.

    • doodo477 on 29/11/2020 - 17:02
      +1

      She gifted the money. You cannot ask for a gift back, then it wouldn't of been a gift. It's part of common law. Never ever ever loan money to family or friends nor express how much money you earn or have saved.

  • JetBombat on 29/11/2020 - 16:57
    -1

    So, a person fell into a money scam allegedly orchestrated by her son-in-law and is now upset at her daughter, who might hypothetically be under influence of that same person?

    OP, did any of the people involved approved posting all of their inner dealings out to the internet by the way?

    • doodo477 on 29/11/2020 - 17:02

      People are dumb, and we should laugh at them.

  • bmerigan on 29/11/2020 - 17:06

    She should definitely rewrite her will to say that the money the daughter used is considered her half of the inheritance.
    Then lawyer.

  • Stphen on 29/11/2020 - 17:36
    +2

    If you don't care about the family relationship:

    Victorian Police elder abuse

    Border Watch Online Report

    • Jam92 on 29/11/2020 - 18:13

      Thank you

  • iseeyou1312 on 29/11/2020 - 18:32
    +1

    " Thanks mum for the money to purchase our house, we will return it once we move in "

    This is perhaps recognition it was a loan, but you're going to pay a fortune in legal fees for a court to recognise it and there's no guarantee of a favourable ruling. Possession is nine tenths of the law.

    Obviously, loaning 150k to purchase a house is really silly and there a multiple ways this could have been avoided. It also doesn't make sense to continue "loaning" money after no repayments were made on the first loan, so it really does seem more like a gift.

    If the mother has other assets (especially unencumbered property in Sydney/Melbourne) and other beneficiaries of her estate, the easiest and least expensive recourse would be to remove that daughter and her children from the will.

    • Jam92 on 29/11/2020 - 18:51
      +1

      Thanks for your reply. The first loan and the second loan were about 4 months apart. Grandma did ask for the money for the first loan but they kept pressuring her with theirs tears and the love she should have for her grandkids and help them get a house.
      When asked for the money back from the first loan grandma says that the daughter kept on saying that the husbands property overseas is due sell and they will pay her back the first and the second lot of money soon after the settlement as that's when she said the money will come by from overseas

  • screensaver on 29/11/2020 - 19:12
    +6

    Obtaining financial advantage by deception is a crime

  • AmbroseChapel on 29/11/2020 - 19:13

    This isn't going to help but … I don't get how the original transaction works?

    Either you have 150,000 or you don't. If you use that 150,000 as a deposit on a house, you don't get it back. It's sunk into the mortgage.

    What am I missing?

    As far as actual advice goes, 'get a better solicitor'.

    • Jackson on 30/11/2020 - 15:03
      +1

      About 3 pages of comments

  • Bunnyburger on 29/11/2020 - 19:39

    I'm no expert but sometimes when parents give money to their kids to buy houses and businesses, the property bought with that money can be held on trust for the parents.

    • Behindthemask on 30/11/2020 - 10:32

      No not exactly. The parents/solicitor can organise to put a mortgage on the childrens house to that value so they have a 'right' to their money back if and when the property sells for example.

      • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 11:55
        +1

        This is the right way grandma should have done it , lawyer also said the same or get a actual loan agreement made by lawyer

  • Aerith-Waifu on 29/11/2020 - 20:55

    I can’t believe I read through all that……

    Family issues let the family deal with. Bystanders have no idea what happens internally

  • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 02:42

    Please give my sympathies to the grandma. My daughter ghosted me and I have never seen my granddaughter (just some photos). They live overseas. She may be upset because I gave her up for adoption as her father was violent )domestic violence) but she used to speak to me before her baby was born, Not after

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 09:21
      +1

      Thank you for your reply . Stay strong

  • kaleidoscope on 30/11/2020 - 07:58

    sorry to hear. money changes people (alot). I’ve heard stories like this and elder abuse that always brings me to tears. If there is any proof of the transfers you can try legal action.
    First thing is attend to grandma’s well-being and don’t let her lend any more money to the ungrateful daughter…

    Good luck.

    —-

    This ungrateful and greedy folks will destroy their lives… I’ve witnessed it first hand more than once

    • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 08:28
      -2

      yes dont let them destroy your lives. Stay strong because the future may change things, or you can try praying for God to find a solution. Thats what I have done in regards to my daughter. Put in in father Gods hands,

      • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 09:24

        Thank you

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 09:22

      Thanks for your reply, yes they have proof of transfers and a thank you return card. We have got a mental health plan for grandma

  • sheepzpal on 30/11/2020 - 08:44

    sounds like an Asian family crisis TV series

  • AlanHB on 30/11/2020 - 08:53

    It doesn't look like there was any legal contract here - the grandma gave her money to the daughter, and while there was a general hope that it would be paid back, there doesn't seem to be anything written down outlining the terms of a loan.

    I also understand that the courts are unwilling to enforce contracts in this kind of family informal agreement.

    So what can grandma do? Nothing really. Probably watch as daughter forecloses on home and continues to be crap with money.

  • StalkingIbis on 30/11/2020 - 08:53
    +5

    Go see his church leaders? If they are honourable, and he is really committed to his faith, they may convince him to give it back or impose some sanctions on him that he might be really unhappy about?

    … But then again, the son in law doesn't sound like a decent person.

    • Hangryuman on 30/11/2020 - 10:09
      -1

      yes the terrorists who murder innocent people while shouting religious slogans

      typically discovered religion only last week - in an attempt to claim a support group for their alienated individual murderous thoughts which they concocted alone in their bedroom

      • StalkingIbis on 30/11/2020 - 22:33
        +1

        I used to live next door to a muslim guy. He would sometimes bring over gifts of fruit (mangos) because I was his neighbour and he believed it was important to be kind to your neighbours.

        More people like him in the world would make it a better place.

    • khomeini on 30/11/2020 - 10:16
      +3

      Good suggestion and agreed fully… But somehow I think they're both (husband and wife) in it together… And unlikely to bother.

      I doubt anyone can force them to do anything (a mosque is similar to a church in that you go there to pray)//… They can't really be excommunicated.

      Regardless in Islam, you must pay off your debts… One of the major things to do (or heaven cannot be attained)

      Read more below… And op feel free to show this article to your friend/mother etc.

      https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/11/the-islamic-importance-of-pay…

  • Hangryuman on 30/11/2020 - 10:05

    'gave her 2nd daughter and her husband a substantial amount of money(150k) half her life saving for purchasing their first home last year for their deposit on the understanding'

    problem words there are gave and understanding - do not form a legal contract AFAIK.

    that's why I was taught that a verbal contract was not worth the paper it was written on … geddit ?

    'The husband is a bad person, he first married to an Aussie to get a PR then divorced her and now this. When her mother asked him about his previous marriage he said in his religion he can marry 3-4 times its allowed'

    this falls in the category of 'I trusted that nice man in a suit - how come he took all my money … ?'

    best case looks like 'The daughter who took the money had also sent a handwritten card last year saying " Thanks mum for the money to purchase our house, we will return it once we move in "' - that looks like your best evidence - but given bad person reference I'm guessing any attempt to extract the money is likely to be used to remove any access to beloved grandchildren

    and that's exactly how bad people work - abuse your trust to get your money

    welcome to Contracts 101 … I'm very glad I learned that in first-year law at uni - I stopped after that (too boring) but use what I learned in Contracts almost every day - sorry most people learn the hard way … I lost a lot of money before that too, so Caveat Emptor - a fool and their money are soon parted - hopefully keep the remainder away from the Nigerian 'I love you' scam artists …

  • MementoMori on 30/11/2020 - 10:15
    +2

    Off topic, but how much do the HSP's cost from the food truck?

  • UFO on 30/11/2020 - 10:24
    +7

    Caveat on property ASAP!

    She has an equitable interest in the property. There may not be a contract, but there doesn't have to be.
    A mother lent her daughter $150k to help her out. No one would expect a contract is required there.

    If daughter wants to sell house, she'll have to clear the caveat first.
    The relationship is already gone due to the actions of the daughter, so nothing else to lose except that money.

    Lesson learned, money and family/friends never shall mix.

  • eek on 30/11/2020 - 10:46

    Reminds me of this loser Tyson lol https://pressfrom.info/au/news/australia/-286237-wolf-trader…

  • dogboy on 30/11/2020 - 10:56
    +4

    I have never seen a more clear case for BIKIES!!!!!

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 11:05

      Thanks for your reply, we don`t know where to find them( joke)

  • Deldel on 30/11/2020 - 11:26

    I would a) see a lawyer and b) see if you can find an older person''s advocate to assist her (depends in your state and terrority) they are people who deal with this stuff every day (sadly) And can assist in issues of elder abuse.

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 11:28

      Thank you for your reply. Yes have been contacting lawyers since morning.

  • scrone on 30/11/2020 - 12:08
    +3

    Good lesson for all. When your daughter marries a loser don't give her any money. Let the relationship crash and burn and help her when she's single again.

  • studentl0an on 30/11/2020 - 12:12

    Is there a paper trail confirming the $150k was to be paid back, and not a gift?

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 12:14

      Yes bank statements and a thank you card

      • studentl0an on 30/11/2020 - 12:18

        Bank statements do not state if the money was to be paid back, neither does a thank you card. Usually a thank you card is for a gift.

        For all we know Mum has changed her mind about her gift being conditional now that daughter doesn't want to be in her life.

        I've seen similar situations from the daughter's perspective. Abusive parents finally deciding to help their adult children in life with a large cash sum. The daughter is ecstatic and thinks this means a change of heart from Mum, that is no longer an abuser but someone who wants to help their child and taking steps to right the wrongs of the past. Then the abusive behavior starts again from Mum and the adult child can not tolerate this behavior, especially now they have a young child of their own and want to be free of a relationship that causes harm to them. Mum then stomps her feet and changes her mind that money wasn't a gift, but actually a loan. If it was originally a gift then this is abusive behavior and something which I can understand the daughter needing to cut the mother out of her life for the good of her and her family.

        I'm not saying that's happening here. I'm saying that people need to be aware of this common family interaction, and we don't know for certain if the $150k was to be paid back or a gift. Although given how the daughter has cut the mother out of the life I'm tending to lean towards this. People don't cut out others from their life if they are a positive influence to it.

        This is a very common abusive parent behavior. I would be asking your friend what life was like growing up, paying close attention to if there was any disparity in treatment between your friend and their sister by their mother.

        Judging by how the mother speaks about the daughters decisions in life, including the partner, my spidey sense is tingling that the mother is an abusive person and this whole ordeal is manipulation to hurt her daughter now that her gift didn't buy her affection.

        If it goes to family court these interactions will be scrutinised. If there is reasonable doubt that the loan was actually a gift then she would have to pay for the daughters court costs too. She might be better off just walking away.

        • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 13:44

          The card does state the money was to be returned after settlement. It was not a gift

        • BumbaT on 30/11/2020 - 15:47

          Your spider sense may not have the best comprehension looking from the explaination by the op. Its a scam pure and simple. Sorry for the grand kids.

          Old lady is stupid to loan such large sums for different occasions without legal advice. I think you will find that the old lady was the one manipulated as there are less hoops to jump over compared to your scenario and under your scenario if she was so manipulative she would have got the lawyers involved with a caveat. Irrespective of which scenario, has layed out, both the husband and wife are scum, even under your scenario of the abusive mother who keeps lending money to these losers who had kids they can't even take care of, . What a (profanity) shit show.

          • studentl0an on 30/11/2020 - 16:07

            @BumbaT: We have no idea what the truth is. We have only one side of the story. I've seen it too many times in the past where it turns out there's a much more compelling case from the other side which we are not hearing from.

            Parents are not entitled to a relationship with their children or grandchildren if they are abusive, it's best for everyone to cut ties and move on.

            Not saying that's the case here, just saying we are only getting one side of the story and it's important to play devil's advocate in order to better understand the possible outcomes.

  • avoidfullprice on 30/11/2020 - 13:35

    Rather than sinking more money with a lawyer, and potentially not get a resolution before she gets further depressed, make sure she receives adequate mental health support. Money breaks family, and concept of inheritance is itself a sense of entitlement anyways

    Stay strong. Can't take money to grave. Go experice other positive things. Karma is a bitch.

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 13:39
      +1

      Thanks for your reply. Yes we have got her Mental health support and the family is also aware about this situation so people are around her all the time

  • MrFunSocks on 30/11/2020 - 13:49

    How were they expecting to just "return" the money once they move in? You can't just take back the 150k deposit.

    • Jam92 on 30/11/2020 - 13:51
      +1

      Already been answered

  • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 14:02
    -2

    I think I would legally fight to get the money back and sue him for the food truck as well rather than let them get away with it. They have already blocked access to grandchildren so dont let them profit as well

  • TRAVELO on 30/11/2020 - 14:24

    There is legal recourse and you do need to follow what the solicitors advice. At this point in time, don't think about this as a family matter, or about the "daughter" or relationship.. it's difficult not to but you just cant.. The daughter obviously is being manipulated or has been brainwashed. You can always afterwards try and amend the situation and rebuild the relationship, but right now the focus needs to be on recovering the finances or they will completely disappear.

  • ln28909 on 30/11/2020 - 14:30

    Move on it is what it is, at least she still has another daughter

    The sum of money is too small to be worthwhile in retrieving back if legal action is required

    • leiiv on 30/11/2020 - 16:41

      Can't the legal action be done through small claim tribunal?

      • Butt Scratcher on 30/11/2020 - 18:42

        This is definitely outside of small claims. Not sure about Victoria, but in NSW the cap is 20k.

        150k is pushing well inside district court territory

  • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 17:10
    +1

    I just read the edit where he abused the wife when she became pregnant with a girl. Sounds like she is an idiot even being with him and has a lot to learn about life. Will she ever wake up? Perhaps when its too late

    • pharkurnell on 30/11/2020 - 20:05
      +2

      Its already too late.

  • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 19:00

    Contact Liberty and tell them the situation. They may have breached guidelines in regards to giving loans and can be in trouble for doing that through the financial regulator. Ask them to cooperate with you through the in house solicitor. tell them you are the victim of a scam

    • reshre8 on 01/12/2020 - 10:56

      Don't know why you were neged but I agree, a scam accusation will surely need to be investigated by the Loan provider, I think and hope..am no expert though. This would definitely dent their hopes of selling the house.

  • Laziofogna on 30/11/2020 - 20:54
    +1

    This somehow reminds me of that post with the lady hearing noises in her roof cavity

    • screensaver on 30/11/2020 - 22:16
      +1

      empty vessels make the most noise

  • Etster on 30/11/2020 - 22:47
    +1

    If the guy is quite religious try finding a local spiritual leader from his religion and going to them to intervene. If possible get a friend who is part of this religion to help. Good luck.

    • jaybmate on 01/12/2020 - 11:29
      +3

      Could be a good idea if so, but it sounds like by the type of things this guy has been doing, he is more 'culturally religious' instead of genuinely religious, so unlikely to bring about a result.

  • Lichen6420 on 30/11/2020 - 23:19
    +2

    For the banks to consider the funds as genuine and able to be used towards a deposit they would need to have accompanied by a 'gift letter' written and signed by the mother stating the funds were a gift and are not repayable.

    The banks cannot consider borrowed funds from a parent in the form of a loan genuine funds that can be used as a deposit.

    It is a common arrangement for parents to lend children funds in this manner. The banks cover their ass for just this reason by making sure these gift letter documents exist thus ensuring a caveat cannot be placed on the property.

    If the bank were to accept a deposit comprised of declared borrowed funds this would give another party a genuine financial interest in the property which the bank will not allow.

  • tryingtohelp on 30/11/2020 - 23:22

    I don’t know why, but while reading this, i just had a light bulb movement to play prank about grandma winning a lotto. Upload it on Insta/FB to get this couple’s attention. This might bring them at least to come and talk.
    If they were abusing the elderly person for money, there’s nothing stopping them to do that again.
    It makes the grandma even more vulnerable on emotional grounds as this not so good daughter tricks the grandma to allow her meet the grand children.

  • neosin on 01/12/2020 - 00:27

    If my sister did this, I would give them 1 warning then pay bikies to rough them both up until they give the money back!

    Need to fight fire with fire sometimes!

    On a more serious note, a good lawyer will be able to successfully argue there was a verbal contract.

  • AlienC on 01/12/2020 - 00:35
    -1

    Step 1: find out daughter's favourite food delivery place
    Step 2: get mother to start working at said place
    Step 3: advertise special delivery deal at daughters favourite delivery place that they cannot resist
    Step 4: wait for the moment
    Step 5: ????
    Step 6: profit

  • OzCheapo on 01/12/2020 - 01:18

    Wow. This is brutal. It'll be difficult to remedy the loan unless you can place an encumberance/lien to the property. The relationship between mother and daughter is probably roasted. Same as the grandchildren.

    Ideally you seek the services of a mediator to persuade a person to return part or all of the money. Otherwise lobby local news, letter drop the entire neighbourhood to reveal the scam and also the head of the local community of the husband. Basically expose the couple as scum and pressure them out or do right by your grandmother. Not a lot of options since her daughter detonated the nuclear bomb in the relationship.

    Terrible stuff here. Sorry OP

  • [Deactivated] on 01/12/2020 - 02:30

    "in his religion he can marry 3-4 times its allowed"

    Uhm… That applies to no religion I'm aware of. The closest to that wording is islam where a man can have up to four wives at the same time, but also have as many divorces and marriages as they (mostly 'he') likes.

  • sarahlump on 01/12/2020 - 06:39
    -3

    " she is too tired to look after 2 kids (the daughter doesn’t work)" you ever tried raising 2 kids on your own? Sounds like you have some other criticism to make of her?

    • screensaver on 01/12/2020 - 08:17
      +2

      well she is now a thief so shes teaching her kids well.

  • Dack Smith on 01/12/2020 - 07:41

    If the daughter has been brainwashed and gone into Islam with hubby, no way she's getting the money back.

    Contact ASIO to find out where that money is going to.

    • El-Baba on 03/12/2020 - 15:40

      lol ASIO?

  • shaybisc on 01/12/2020 - 10:31

    " Thanks mum for the money to purchase our house, we will return it once we move in "

    If daughter didn't have the money for house before moving in why would she have it after?

    • jaybmate on 01/12/2020 - 11:30

      Husband said he had a property overseas that he was about to sell, would use the proceeds to pay 150k back.

      • shaybisc on 01/12/2020 - 11:50
        +2

        Is he a Nigerian prince?

  • MementoMori on 01/12/2020 - 11:10

    I never mentioned it before, but I wanted to say, sorry to hear you're in such a terrible situation.

    I think the girl will wise up eventually, but not after a lot of damage has been done.

  • ialam99 on 01/12/2020 - 11:35

    I would be speaking to a solicitor as soon as possible. Hopefully the funds were transfered via bank transfer so there is record of the transfer (both the $150k and the $50k). That might be enough to put a cavit again the house to stop it from being sold.

    Legal aid might be an option if the mother can't afford to pay a lawyer.

  • ladybug1 on 01/12/2020 - 12:35
    +1

    Good luck to the lady.
    This is a DV situation and the daughter will realise it some day.
    If they are from the same ethnic community, shaming them might help. Talking to religious leaders.

    • bigbadboogieman on 01/12/2020 - 17:27
      +1

      You will find scumbags in all communities and religions… these lowlifes are not exclusive to any particular community, religion or ethinicity.

  • nephilim on 01/12/2020 - 15:17

    Contact her bank ASAP, she should of noted it was a loan from someone when they asked were that money came from when they did the loan approval.

    Its the most simple way to catch them, conveyancers also note were money comes from.

  • bizarredeal on 01/12/2020 - 15:55

    Hope the grandma can recover emotionally with other family support.
    Hopefully she is not financially very down and can still manage.
    Looks like the money and the relationship is gone and never to come back.
    Unfortunate that there are people like this husband guy who is brutal to other humans - essentially a criminal who is simply done bad things and is walking the streets with no repercussion. Karma will catch up at some point.

  • bigbadboogieman on 01/12/2020 - 17:25

    I have seen these situations in the past with relatives and friend and its truly heart-breaking!!!

    I think the daughter (your friend) needs to take care of grand mum and keep her busy, accompanied and occupied during these stressful times. I don't think grand mum will ever be able to recoup the monies….. not sure if the other daughter is trying to save her marriage in hope that if she breaks ties with grand mum then it might work out with her husband but the short story is that "karma is a b|tch". If the husband is truly a scumbag then he will soon enough start cheating on her and there will come a time when she will be have to choose between remain with a cheater in an abusive marriage or leave…

    Don't know why people keep forgetting that history repeats itself… there will come a time when the daughter will become a grand mum as her kids grow up. If daughter is in the wrong (i.e. not a victim to her circumstances but rather a player) then she will be subjected to the same sh|t that she is subjecting her mother to…. period.

  • Brianqpr on 01/12/2020 - 19:10

    I don't suppose either the daughter or her husband are financial advisers?

    The reason I ask is I know of a case where AFCA found against an adviser who when with his wife had received a number of financial gifts from her mother over the years. They eventually divorced and things turned bitter as they tend to do in those situations.

    So she lodged a complaint essentially saying the husband/adviser stole the money from her and/or didn't advise her not to gift it to them. Sounds ridiculous right? Yet AFCA found in her favour and he had to pay it all back

    Nonsense decision, but that's AFCA for you!

  • bryans on 01/12/2020 - 19:38
    +1

    Need judge judy

  • Amotti on 01/12/2020 - 21:23
    -2

    Lmao the famous religion of peace at it again

  • ozbaragan on 03/12/2020 - 12:02

    Another post about lending money to friends and family which is a BIG NO NO! if They can't screw the bank, they'd screw You!

  • Dr Prepper on 04/12/2020 - 10:42

    If there was a written acknowledgment of debt the time limit for enforcement is 6 years from advancement , if there was written deed the time limit for enforcement is 12 years, if there is nothing in writing let her know that :

    In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them….maybe you can hire The A-Team

  • coolsteps on 21/09/2024 - 10:52

    get a good lawyer that is not from the same firm as the other party. Daughter is probably in an abusive relationship and should seek help to escape.

Login or Join to leave a comment
Login Join