Flat mate troubles, wanting opinions!?

Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:11

Hey guys, wasn't really sure where to ask this so I figured the ozbargain community can help me out or at least give me their opinions!
My nan and pop passed away 2 years ago, My mum inherited the house. She sold her other house and moved in to my nan and pops for 6 months and then bought property and moved 8 hours away. She moved 3 weeks ago and now I am renting my nan and pops house off her. Sorry if that's confusing!

Okay so she's 8 hours north and I'm here. We decided to get a flatmate in here to help pay the rent and now I'm starting to think we chose the wrong person. I'm 24 She's 19 and fresh out of mummy and daddy's house. Maybe I'm being a little uptight because it was my nan and pops house and Its hard being here picturing things as they once were.

This girl has 2 dogs. We were okay with that. But she failed to mention that her dogs piss and shit absolutely everywhere. All over the outside furniture, the bbq etc. Everywhere other than the grass (which there is a lot of!)
We told her to keep her dogs outside because they are completely untrained. My mum has now left and I'm not very good with confrontation but I've noticed that she's sneaking them inside at night. There's a lock on her door.. But I have a key to all locks. I opened her door the other day just to see if her dogs had ruined the new carpet we just put in and I was right. It's basically black. There's mud marks all through it.
I don't know what to do though because I did have a sneak peak into her room!
Along with that I've told her to clean up the mess her dogs are making out the back. She kind of just laughs and says she will clean it later. But I am seriously starting to get angry at the fact it absolutely stinks out there and every time I sit down outside I get a good woft of dog pee.

Apart from her dog issues she's generally pretty clean. She's tidying up her dishes and what not. It's just these dogs!

Am I in the wrong for being angry about this ? I am getting a dog soon and it'll be completely trained and inside/outside so i feel like I'm being a little unfair on wanting her dogs outside all the time. But the fact is they're not trained and they're both boys and they do what they like when they like. I think I'm more angry at the fact she's sneaking them in thinking I don't know.

I want to kick her out because I can't stand her dogs that much (and I love dogs!!!!) But I'm not really sure what to do or what to say as I've never been in this situation before and tbh it makes me a little anxious..

Help me out guys! Am I crazy or is she just taking advantage?

Home & Garden

Comments

  • [Deactivated] on 22/03/2017 - 21:17
    +61

    You should have anticipated this when you said yes to pets.

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:23
      +2

      I guess we were a little naive in believing things she said. For a start she said they were show dogs (we assumed trained) and then she said she takes them to work everyday (a lie) and that they are outside dogs. Not expecting these two little feral things she bought home. We've always had staffies so yeah mischievous dogs but also have always been trained to go to the toilet outside on the grass and they were all around good dogs. Also females. My mum took our family staffie with her and the scent of her is through the house which is another reason why her two male dogs are doing their business literally everywhere.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 00:37
        +62

        She doesn't respect you, the house rules or your property.

        I'd be seeking to move her on.

        People can be unpredictable, especially teenagers and feral pet owners. And it's best to avoid making enemies, especially ones who know where you live. So rather than giving her notice, asking her to leave or kicking her out, make her want to leave.

        Some ideas:

        1. Charge her for the cleaning you have to do.
        2. Start increasing the rent.
        3. Bring over "your new dog" which won't get along with hers.
        • Blitzfx on 23/03/2017 - 16:12
          +4

          4)Bring over the Bikies

        • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 18:02
          +6

          I'm 24 She's 19 and fresh out of mummy and daddy's house.

          You shouldn't look down on her for that; you're more or less still there yourself!

        • nikey2k27 on 24/03/2017 - 18:20

          Yup total what i would do. most like have rip up replace carpet if you do hard flooring down for rental rooms

      • ronnknee on 24/03/2017 - 11:12
        +13

        She's 19
        fresh out of mummy and daddy's house
        This girl has 2 dogs.

        How did you not see these red flags?

      • SpotTheOzzie on 25/03/2017 - 01:20

        This is easy.

        "Hey, I thought you said the dogs were show dogs."

        Show dog means it's trained and disciplined. There's no other explanation for it and everything will quickly unravel from that convo where you let her know that her and the dogs need to go.

        This person has laughed in your face and taken advantage of you, and you're confused what to do..

        There's going to be a point in your life where you'll need to stand up for yourself and until then you'll just be the push over that nobody respects. Today should be that day and moving forward.

    • Hellman109 on 23/03/2017 - 10:42
      +2

      Meet the pets first is how you deal with it, have them bring the pets to the inspection and get them off leash inside and see how they act.

      • jonathonsunshine on 25/03/2017 - 10:26
        +2

        It's not the dogs faults, it's the tenant's and ultimately the landlord's. Lots of people have dogs and their houses aren't trashed.

        • Wibbleman on 26/03/2017 - 12:06

          Did i read that right? Did you just say it was the ultimately the landlords fault???

        • jonathonsunshine on 27/03/2017 - 02:50

          @Wibbleman: in this scenario, yeah, its ultimately the landlord's/op's fault. He's got him self in to an unteneable situation with no agreements in writing and no bond to cover the damages.

  • Diji1 on 22/03/2017 - 21:19
    +3

    Telling someone things in a tenancy situation is never a good idea. You want that shit in writing!

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:24
      +1

      This is both my first time and my mums. We defiantly messed up there and won't be doing that again!

      • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 00:39
        +8

        We defiantly messed up there

        So you were well aware of what to do?

        • pjetson on 23/03/2017 - 08:37
          +5

          You defiantly need to be less subtle, McDuck.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 18:15
          -5

          @pjetson:

          Appealing to the lowest common denominator elicits a much greater response.

          But I still appreciate the highbrow audience.

  • Ghogger on 22/03/2017 - 21:22
    +2

    Did she pay you a bond when she moved in? If so, just take all the cleaning expenses and what-not out of her bond when she moves out and try not to let the dogs worry you too much.

    As for the poop outside, she should really be cleaning it up as often as possible - not cool

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:26
      +3

      That's where my mum messed up. She organised it all before she moved. This girl only payed one weeks rent for bond which is $220. My whole family including me said she needed to get more but she just assumed she would do the right thing and be respectful of the house. Now she's 8 hours away with no internet or phone reception so it's all on me. But I don't really know what to do either :/

      • Ghogger on 22/03/2017 - 22:00
        +15

        Meh, if you want to avoid the confrontation just say you have a friend moving in on so-and-so date and she will have to find a new place.

        • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 22:07

          I do have a friend moving over from new Zealand but that's not until july. She knows he will be moving in though so I could say he's coming sooner. Only problem is I'll be paying a lot more rent unless I can find someone else fast. First flatmate I've had and I don't think I ever want to do this again.

        • Ghogger on 23/03/2017 - 08:58
          +8

          @goog101: it's just one bad experience, I've had many good experiences with flat mates, you just need to set the rules right in the beginning next time

        • eyeballz2770 on 23/03/2017 - 11:47

          @goog101: People laugh at Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory, but you should use this as a learning experience. Make up a contract before they move in. No Pets. I don't know what the legalities of bonds are but I wouldn't rent to anyone without 2 months worth.

          Get to know the person via their FB page, for example. Are they partiers? Do they party out & about or at their place & does it look trashed? Does their home look tidy in the background? What kind of comments do they leave? Are they generally kind or do they like to take the piss? Check out their interests? Do they love Death Metal while you prefer Enya?

          Do whatever it takes to avoid confrontation in the future by being over-cautious, initially.

        • smpantsonfire on 23/03/2017 - 13:21
          +5

          @eyeballz2770:

          Two months rent? Lol

        • eyeballz2770 on 23/03/2017 - 15:25

          This is aimed for someone who doesn't like confrontation.

        • Ghogger on 23/03/2017 - 15:56

          @smpantsonfire:

          3 months is the norm in Germany. Although the rent isn't as high so it's not such a big deal I guess

        • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 16:56
          +1

          @Gozzhogger:

          3 months is the norm in Germany.
          the norm in Germany
          in Germany
          Germany

          !

        • Ghogger on 23/03/2017 - 16:58

          @Scrooge McDuck:

          Haha I was just highlighting that 2 months of rent as a deposit is not such a huge deal as it may seem

        • DisneyPrincess on 24/03/2017 - 01:10
          +2

          @eyeballz2770: +1 for Shelton Cooper's room mate agreement.

          Get the next potential flat mate to take a Myers Briggs personality test (or something similar), then compare scores before agreeing, lol

        • nateflight on 24/03/2017 - 12:01
          +1

          @eyeballz2770: Most of the time the maximum bond you can legally charge is 4 weeks rent, which usually is the standard in my experience. In terms of contracts, depending on the state they may not even be legally valid. I know in the ACT there is a standard tenancy agreement that applies to all tenancies, and even if you add things to it and both sign it isn't enforceable unless it's consistent with the standard agreement.

          So it's definitely more important to try to suss out/ the person and their pets before they move in rather than trying to cover yourself with contracts and things.

        • eyeballz2770 on 24/03/2017 - 16:24

          @nateflight: Agreed and understood. My main point is that those who are not comfortable with confrontation should find a number of ways potential renters can be proven (as much as one can, at least) to be trustworthy housemates.

          It's a lot better to pay full rent for 2 months than to regret accepting someone upon meeting them who is a huge pain in the ass after the first week and then being too shy to do anything about it for 6 months until reaching a boiling point.

        • nikey2k27 on 24/03/2017 - 18:22
          +2

          @goog101: lots of good people out there i had so many good housemates also loads of bad.

        • jonathonsunshine on 25/03/2017 - 10:28

          @eyeballz2770: in QLD at least, you can't just charge more than 4 weeks rent (as bond) unless the total is over $700 something.

      • WT on 25/03/2017 - 08:24

        If your mum is not contactable, why are you dealing with this and not a real estate agent?

  • altomic on 22/03/2017 - 21:26

    did she sign a lease?

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:29

      No lease agreement. It's all private and nothing was done in writing. I guess the only benefit of that is I can kick her out but at the same time she is helping me pay the rent. I just want her to train her dogs but she laughs when I get angry about it

      • altomic on 22/03/2017 - 21:30
        +26

        the dogs won't suddenly be house trained.

        get rid of her or she gets rid of the dogs.

        • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:37

          I am looking for another person to rent out a room so if I find someone I'll give her notice to leave. I don't want to come across as a hypocrite because our family dog was inside and she knows that. But there's a big difference between a trained and untrained dog !

        • Biance on 24/03/2017 - 18:32
          +4

          @goog101: Don't care about coming across as a hypocrite. You aren't equals in this situation! There can be a very big difference between different dogs, and she misled you about the dogs (specifically that they would stay outside and go with her to work).

          One thing I think you could do is have a rent inspection. Maybe done by someone that isn't you, like an older relative? Give her notice of the inspection, and then after the inspection send her a letter (from your mum, not you) telling her that she has two weeks to clean the carpet in her room and the furniture outside, or pay for professional cleaning.

          This is separate to using her bond to fix things up again when she moves out, but will give her a kick up the bum to keep things cleaner.

          That is totally normal and has happened to me during tenancy by landlords (with housemates with messy pets).

          Another thing is - I have had rent inspections where they could tell we had had a dog inside the house, and gave us a warning - if we let the dog in the house again the lease is void. Of course, you don't have a lease, but can tell her she will be evicted if she does it again.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 01:05
        +30

        but she laughs when I get angry about it

        You sound like a push-over.

        She knows it and is exploiting it.

        • ThithLord on 23/03/2017 - 09:56
          +2

          Yep. Is OP sure they are 24? They barely seem like a teenager.

      • Seraphin7 on 23/03/2017 - 09:15
        +2

        Kick her @ss to the curb then! Seriously, a few weeks of additional cost is nothing compared to the grief you're copping. Besides, given you're renting off your mother I'm sure there is some arrangement you could come to?

      • ItsMeAgro on 23/03/2017 - 11:22
        +6

        she laughs when I get angry about it

        HUGE red flag. Tenant/Owner relationship should never be anything close to this. Kick her out fast.

      • DOIT4THEPEANUT on 24/03/2017 - 18:01

        Jeez mate your brave not having a lease…. But since there is no agreement you can boot her at anytime. Give her 2 weeks then evict IMHO.

      • Beanvee on 24/03/2017 - 18:07

        No lease? Kick her ass out. If the dogs have run a muck their whole lives, it's going to impossible for a 19yo to train them into obedience within any reasonable amount of time.

      • [Deactivated] on 24/03/2017 - 19:25

        No Lease Agreement

        No former written agreement between two parties means things could get really ugly once she refuses to move out and you take matters to Civil and Administrative Tribunal. It would be her words against your words. At the end, you would spend at last a few hundreds of dollar to remove her from the property.

        You cannot even charge her a penalty if she refuses to pay the rent.

  • mintysaurus on 22/03/2017 - 21:29
    +19

    You don't have to tell her you went into her room. You can just say you've heard the dogs inside and that was against the rules. Ask to see her room.
    It's not going to get better if this is how it is already imo

    If she's already ignoring the rules and letting damage happen that's a really bad sign :/

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:35
      +2

      Yeah well I assumed they were coming inside because every morning I get up for work they're nowhere to be seen outside. So I opened up her door and seen the state of the carpet and basically walked out. I knew then they were coming inside at night. But just before I was sitting in my room and I heard her sneak them in, one ran towards my room and I could hear her calling him to go back to her. So they're in her room now but confrontation kills me.

      • mintysaurus on 22/03/2017 - 21:40
        +2

        yeah me too :( not good at the confrontation stuff. Unfortunately I think it's just gonna get worse

      • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 00:53
        +15

        How far from Sydney are you?

        I'm excellent at confrontation and negotiation, for a very reasonable fee.

        • Noragrets on 23/03/2017 - 09:31

          I'm on the central coast haha

        • pandabun on 23/03/2017 - 10:03
          +20

          @goog101:

          I don't want to come across as harsh, please don't take this the wrong way. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and rely less on your parents to look after you.

          I have sheltered life as well and it took me a long time before I realise if I don't look after myself first, no one is gonna give a shjt about me.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 17:11
          +2

          @pandabun:

          I don't want to come across as harsh,

          OP seems to be receptive to constructive criticism:

          Help me out guys! Am I crazy or is she just taking advantage?

          👍

        • jenkemjunkie on 23/03/2017 - 19:22
          +1

          Are you mick gatto?

        • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 19:34
          -1

          @jenkemjunkie:

          Possibly comparable, but without the propensity for violence.

      • hetzjagd on 23/03/2017 - 17:17
        +7

        Confrontation kills me too so I know how hard it can be.

        As an alternative, when you know she and the dogs are in the room, can you just walk up and knock on the door and ask if she has seen her dogs? Say you can't see them in the backyard and therefore they seem to be missing? See what she says about that

      • abb on 24/03/2017 - 10:51
        +2

        Knock on the door to ask some other thing (for instance, if she wants to watch some TV show you're about to put on).
        When door opens and dog is there, act shocked and say "hey, we agreed no dogs inside. Holy shit that carpet is dirty. By the way my best friend is moving to Australia next week and I want to give them your room."

      • danyool on 24/03/2017 - 23:01

        confrontation kills me

        You could consider practicing different scenarios with a friend.

        Also you may consider joining Toastmasters - it's not specifically for confrontation - but public speaking/debates and getting your point across. May be helpful in other areas of life, your job etc.

        Alternatively, join the Army Reserves!

  • try2bhelpful on 22/03/2017 - 21:35

    what sort of rental agreement, or lease, do you have in place? I would have a good look at the Tenants Union website to find out what you could be looking at here.

    https://www.tuv.org.au/

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:42

      There's actually no lease agreement. Nothing in writing anyway. My mum met her, said she was nice and friendly and said she could move in. That was basically it. She told her verbally no dogs inside. She told her to clean up after them daily etc. I told her about a week ago that she needs to stop them from going to the toilet on the concrete outside. And clean it up if they do. She agreed but hasn't done anything so it's been me out there hosing it tipping vinegar everywhere trying to get that smell away. She said she would hose it all today but it still stinks like piss.

      • try2bhelpful on 22/03/2017 - 21:58
        +11

        If you can I would get rid of her; if she is already doing this she will only get worse as you go along. You will probably find a better tenant and, this time, get the conditions in writing and signed off. The rent you will lose is going to offset the mess her animals are leaving and the damage they are doing and just wait until the bikie boyfriend moves in.

      • chumlee on 23/03/2017 - 06:09
        +2

        Nothing in writing makes this harder. Get a lease signed now (download a copy) otherwise she is a squatter.

        • [Deactivated] on 23/03/2017 - 15:08

          I disagree.

          Something in writing can screw things up.

          My advice - DO NOT make a RENTAL contract.

          Make a Boarder or Lodger agreement and whatever you do - do not use the word BOND in any part of your agreement.

          Use something like "Security Deposit"

        • [Deactivated] on 23/03/2017 - 19:15
          +4

          (Not a lawyer) No dont make a lease now it will just give her more rights. Just kick her out immediately like she is an unwanted guest who won't leave. Any money received goes straight into cleaning/damages

  • altomic on 22/03/2017 - 21:47
    +9

    Bikies

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 21:55

      If only I knew some.. lol

      • Scrooge McDuck on 23/03/2017 - 00:55
        +16

        I have a BMX. ^^

      • [Deactivated] on 23/03/2017 - 10:38
        +1

        Hey mate im learners
        I own big bikie gang n ride a brand new ninja 250
        Also black belt ju jitsu and hav mastered all moves

        HMU
        (Ex apex gang recruitment manager)

        • Zarcady on 23/03/2017 - 17:36
          +1

          @2Krazy

          Im quivering in my boots at your extensive and formidable credentials. I think your negger was just scared that such a dangerous being exists in the world

  • Youfah Mizzum on 22/03/2017 - 22:09
    +3

    I know you hate the confrontation thing…but in this case ya gotta grow some & do it.
    Far better losing that rent money than putting up with her rubbish.

    • danyool on 24/03/2017 - 22:31

      "hey… We need to talk"

  • dylanando on 22/03/2017 - 22:15
    +4

    Its your house, Kick her out. Sounds grubby.
    Ill come live with you, We can stay up all night telling each other stories and order pizza :3

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 22:20
      +1

      See that's what I was hoping for. Instead I'm stuck with this piece of work lol there's rooms available ! Can team up and force her out haha

      • dylanando on 22/03/2017 - 22:28

        haha, We'll drive her out by chucking soap at her.
        Hope you have better luck next time :(

  • prinsenhof on 22/03/2017 - 22:16

    Train the dogs yourself. You will either fix the problem, or you will probably piss her off and she'll leave.

    The third less likely result is she'll appreciate it so much and start cooking you dinner.

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 22:23

      I have actually been trying. Every time they do it I go out and tell them no, move them to the grass etc. I was told vinegar helps with smell and stops them from going (not sure if that's true) so I've been out there drowning their pee with vinegar and hosing. They're just irritating dogs. She said at her parents house they were locked up on concrete so that's why they go there. One is also 8yr. The other is 1.

      • Findo on 22/03/2017 - 22:33
        +7

        Doesn't matter. She obviously won't be in a hurry to clean up the mess her dogs make because you're cleaning up after her.

      • WT on 23/03/2017 - 08:56

        Vinegar will help short term but will also cause rust

      • jenkemjunkie on 23/03/2017 - 19:26
        +3

        People are very predictable. She won't train them. That requires effort and changing her ways. People are reluctant to change.

        Hopefully you'll kick her out…but that requires change on your behalf. Embrace confrontation

        • dogcatman on 25/03/2017 - 02:55
          +1

          Not to mention, people are lazy. Training dogs takes time and patience. It can take months to 'potty train' a dog properly. If she hasn't bothered training her older dog during its 8 years of existence, she isn't suddenly going to train it now.

        • kiitos on 27/03/2017 - 23:23
          +1

          I think her aim is to train OP…and it's working!

      • [Deactivated] on 23/03/2017 - 19:26
        +2

        Thats not how dog training even works. If you ever end up with your own dog go to dog school and they will teach you

  • Findo on 22/03/2017 - 22:22
    +3

    She doesn't respect your property or the rules laid down. Give her an ultimatum: clean up the mess, fix the damage and leave the dogs outside or else she's going. Once she's done that, try find a new housemate anyway. Some people are oblivious to the mess their beloved animals make.

  • jiberz on 22/03/2017 - 22:25
    +10

    Life lesson. If you let people walk over you, they will. You will lose far more in repairs in the long run.

    • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 23:03
      +4

      I think shitting and pissing on the grass and not right where I sit, walk and cook outside is quite a normal thing to want. Wouls you like it that when you cook food in your kitchen and open the window the smell of dog feces comes in? Or going to sit outside you step in dog piss that's running down the concrete? Or even the fact you have wooden furniture out there and they're peeing on that ? Yeah. I think I'm being reasonable. And if you read above I have been trying to train them. She is not helping considering she just laughs when they do it.

      • Noragrets on 22/03/2017 - 23:08
        +2

        And if you read further above, youd also see im cleaning up after them every time with the vinegar and hose. But, I shouldn't have to.

        • [Deactivated] on 23/03/2017 - 15:10
          +5

          This is exactly the kind of tone you should be having with your tenant. If you let it slide - she'll just keep doing it.

      • jenkemjunkie on 23/03/2017 - 19:27

        The pissing on the furniture is marking…she has no control over them. Probably need a trainer.

        Stop doing the stuff with the hose and vinegar…

  • baldur on 22/03/2017 - 22:43
    +13

    give her two weeks of eviction notice due to the reasons you mentioned above. end of story.

  • Ughhh on 22/03/2017 - 23:10
    +19

    You need to man up a bit, no offence. Confrontations can happen anywhere, including work. Since this situation is not going to affect your employment or family relationships (because she's just a stranger), take it as practice. It'll help give you the confidence next time to deal with people.

    Either continue to whinge and live with it, or do something about it.

  • Geekomatic on 22/03/2017 - 23:53
    +3

    Tell her she must either pay for a weekly service to clean their excrement, or leave. Give her three days to arrange it.

    Let her leave & then do Air BnB until you get your flatmate.

    Imho

    PS: Here's me, always doing so much for my rental property & the managers of it won't even fix a thing that's been a problem since day dot….sigh

  • AlienC on 23/03/2017 - 00:21

    So I am guessing the dogs can't stay outside? They are inside indoor dogs?

  • backpaqer on 23/03/2017 - 09:01
    +7

    Train her dogs.
    Save yourself having to get a dog of your own ;)

    My sister trained our dogs so well that they would sit and stare at food and not eat it until a command word was said. Once she was in a rush and plonked the food in front of them and bolted out the door to go to the gym and came back several hours later to find them still there waiting for the command to eat! You could train them to bark and carry on if anyone other than yourself tries to bring them into the house. Get an electric can opener for the dog food…they quickly learn this noise and if you turn it on at 1am and they are in her room, they will go spastic. Lots of fun to be had.

    But as you are a co-tenant here, it's probably a lot easier to kick her out than if she had a lease. (you need to think of your health and safety too).

  • SwampCrack on 23/03/2017 - 09:24
    +2

    You need to confront her and kick her out. Move someone in that has more respect for your family property.

  • Hirolol on 23/03/2017 - 09:49
    +2

    Kick her ass out.
    Give her the required amount of times notice.
    If she is not out then change the locks and throw all her shit out and call the dog pound(prob a bit harsh on the last one so maybe not do that)

    If you want to be nice about it then just say your dogs poop is so nasty and I have asked you to clean it but you haven't. Please leave within x amount of time. Its not personal :)

    Or just say you want your friend to move in so she needs to leave. But don't give any other details about your friend.

  • JimB on 23/03/2017 - 09:53
    +8

    Just be honest. Tell her it's not working out and she has 2 weeks to move out.

    It's just not going to work out.

  • alz on 23/03/2017 - 09:56
    +1

    Read the first couple of lines then stopped. Get rid of her and spare yourself the headache. Geez Louise!!

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