Flat mate troubles, wanting opinions!?

Hey guys, wasn't really sure where to ask this so I figured the ozbargain community can help me out or at least give me their opinions!
My nan and pop passed away 2 years ago, My mum inherited the house. She sold her other house and moved in to my nan and pops for 6 months and then bought property and moved 8 hours away. She moved 3 weeks ago and now I am renting my nan and pops house off her. Sorry if that's confusing!

Okay so she's 8 hours north and I'm here. We decided to get a flatmate in here to help pay the rent and now I'm starting to think we chose the wrong person. I'm 24 She's 19 and fresh out of mummy and daddy's house. Maybe I'm being a little uptight because it was my nan and pops house and Its hard being here picturing things as they once were.

This girl has 2 dogs. We were okay with that. But she failed to mention that her dogs piss and shit absolutely everywhere. All over the outside furniture, the bbq etc. Everywhere other than the grass (which there is a lot of!)
We told her to keep her dogs outside because they are completely untrained. My mum has now left and I'm not very good with confrontation but I've noticed that she's sneaking them inside at night. There's a lock on her door.. But I have a key to all locks. I opened her door the other day just to see if her dogs had ruined the new carpet we just put in and I was right. It's basically black. There's mud marks all through it.
I don't know what to do though because I did have a sneak peak into her room!
Along with that I've told her to clean up the mess her dogs are making out the back. She kind of just laughs and says she will clean it later. But I am seriously starting to get angry at the fact it absolutely stinks out there and every time I sit down outside I get a good woft of dog pee.

Apart from her dog issues she's generally pretty clean. She's tidying up her dishes and what not. It's just these dogs!

Am I in the wrong for being angry about this ? I am getting a dog soon and it'll be completely trained and inside/outside so i feel like I'm being a little unfair on wanting her dogs outside all the time. But the fact is they're not trained and they're both boys and they do what they like when they like. I think I'm more angry at the fact she's sneaking them in thinking I don't know.

I want to kick her out because I can't stand her dogs that much (and I love dogs!!!!) But I'm not really sure what to do or what to say as I've never been in this situation before and tbh it makes me a little anxious..

Help me out guys! Am I crazy or is she just taking advantage?

Comments

  • Do her a favor, kick her the **** out. With any hope, it'll teach her to grow up.

    You deserve better. This is not how a civilized human beings live.

  • +1

    No rental agreement….. grow the (profanity) up and be an adult. State the living arrangement is not working out and she has 30 days to either find a new home for her pets OR both her and her pets have to be vacated form the property in 30 days.

  • +21

    Ok, you've been a pushover all this time. You know it, and that's not going to change.
    Because you don't have the balls yourself, blame your mum.

    "Hi Jane, Mum has decided to sell the house properly. We have to get out."

    "But Goog, I've got no where else to live!"

    "Sorry Jane, but neither to do I. Probably just going to live with Mum. You gotta go. I'll send you an SMS confirming last date you have to be out by."

    "Come on Goog, please!"

    "Sorry Jane. Maybe you can move in with friends or go back home. Also, we are going to have to sort out a professional carpet cleaner guy to come over and clean the carpet everywhere. Your bedroom carpet and my bedroom carpet will be sorted by each of us, and the rest of the house we will split evenly. Also, you're going to have to clean the back yard and throw away the poo. I don't want to have to dip into the bond money."

    "No way Goog, that's not fair!"

    "It is fair Jane. You clean up your mess, I'll clean up mine."

    "Well I'm going to stop paying rent then!"

    "Jane, I hope it doesn't come to that. But if it does, I'll call the police and have you kicked out for trespassing because you have no legal right to be here. End of the story is you need to move out, and there's nothing else that needs to be said."

    THERE IS NO TENANCY AGREEMENT!

    Your Mum let her stay in the house to help her out temporarily, but now the time has come to get out. No conditions broken, no promises, no nothing. She pays money to contribute to house costs, but there's no bond. THAT'S the story.

    She's young and dumb.
    So are you.
    I don't think you'd argue with that, but the point is you need to tell her to leave. Like a bandaid, just rip it off. If you aren't comfortable, be prepared for all responses by writing them down like I've done. Keep it short and simple, and if all else fails revert back to "I'll ask Mum but no promises".

    • +2

      so you're saying OP is mummy's boy?

      • +3

        By his own admissions, yes.

        But that in itself shouldn't be an excuse. Just needs to prep if he's nervous, to better develop that confidence. Then one day he won't need to prep, and he'll be able to duke it out on the fly :).

    • +1

      I'd like to hear more of this Goog and Jane show!

  • Don't have anything new to add but agree with the others, kick her out. She has already breached your trust

  • I've recently kicked out a housemate as I'm 99% sure they stole from me, but I couldn't prove it.

    I just told them it's not working out, I can't live with someone I don't trust and they have 2 weeks to find another place.

    The way I see it you have two choices, give her a warning to fix all the issues you have, including the repercussions if she doesn't (getting kicked out). or simply tell her it's not working and she has X time to find another place.

  • +1

    Don't listen to all of the people insulting you, OP.

    I also prefer to avoid confrontation. I'm a pretty easy going guy and I can usually tolerate shitty people - especially when it seems that they can't help it.

    In saying that, she is definitely abusing this aspect of your personality, regardless of whether she knows it or not.

    In this instance - I would lie. Tell the girl that the owner has called to make sure her property is being well maintained and that she has asked specific questions about the tenant. Tell her that they asked about whether or not they had pets and if they were trained and clean, and that they are incredibly uncomfortable that their home is being treated like this.

    This way, you can deflect the feeling of confrontation of yourself. You don't have to get angry, but the threat of an older woman coming and kicking up a stink might lead to her sorting herself out.

    Because, let's face it, there is nothing scarier than an older woman with attitude.

    • I think I'd be okay with the confrontation if I didn't have to live with her. It's more the fact that I have to see her daily and I don't know how it will go. I tend to sit on things and then I snap, I'm close to snapping now though! She said herself how hard it was to find someone who would allow pets. You'd think she'd be extra clean considering we gave her a place to stay with her dogs.

      I'm about to send her a msg and tell her that it absolutely stinks outside and she needs to sort it. I think I'm going to get my sister in law to come over and do an 'inspection' for my mum and get her to walk in her room. Once she sees the state of the carpet then we can both tell her to clean it, keep her filthy dogs outside or get out of my house. I was being nice but now Its really annoying me. My nan and pop were so clean you could lick the floors. I'm not obsessively clean but and I wouldn't mind so much if she cleaned daily and showed she was making the effort. But she's just a slob with two feral dogs

      • +1

        You actually invited 3 new housemates in, not one, you vetted one of them but not the other two!

        I would take the advice of others and get rid of her by any means whether by direct approach ("It's not working..") or blame external factors approach ("The house is being sold..") with a fixed move out date. That way you alleviate having to awkwardly 'see her' daily because you'll both be working towards the move out. Forget trying to motivate her to do anything, she won't change, she has to go..End of story. And don't allow future housemate with pets, blanket rule, no exceptions.

      • I think that this is a good way of going about it.

        I hope it all works out for you, OP.

  • +2

    Can't believe the generous notice periods for a no-legal-agreement tenant. I would not want to leave a house unattended for a single minute that contained a person that was filthy and you could not trust, let alone two weeks. I've had my fair share of horrible housemates and there's a good reason why I'll never live with one ever again.

    • +2

      Housemates are the worst, period.

  • +2

    Forget the vinegar. It obviously isn't working, and neither is your googling.
    A fairly simple search for a doggie deterrant should bring up citronella or even ammonia.
    Try one of those in the areas you don't want to dogs to go.

    But really, ya just gotta get over the fear of confrontation & confront. Maybe an easier way to do it is via a formal letter. Give her whatever time period you deem fair (like most people without any contract I think 2 weeks to a month is OK but specify an actual date) and when she kicks up a fuss DONT BUCKLE. At the due date of departure, pack up her stuff, leave it out the front & change the locks.
    And keep the pathetic bond to pay for carpet cleaning & deodorising the whole joint.

  • +2

    Get a full breed Pitt bull, cost you maybe $1,000 but the 2 dog issues will go away forever

  • +1

    Mate! What a nightmare! I was naive and did a similar thing to you, rented a room privately. NEVER AGAIN! Living alone is bliss and if you can afford it, do it! Confrontation is shit I get it, but do it!

  • whats her facebook?

    • +8

      They came to an arrangement.

      He is allowed to keep the meat, but the two veges are now hers. He now scoops up the dog poop, and they've swapped bedrooms because the smell in the old room was upsetting her dogs and making them throw up, so the solution is that he now sleeps in there instead. Oh, and the rent is dropped by half because she's lost her coffee shop gig and can't find another job.

      But that's ok, because he buys the all the food and cooks for her (and her dogs, who get first dibs to the lasagne before he does).

      There's no confrontation though, so he's pretty happy that he's been able to negotiate such a good outcome :).

      Edited: You changed your original comment of "What was the outcome?", so now my comment doesn't make any sense!

    • whats her facebook?

      No personal information in this thread please.

    • +5

      Creepy

  • +2

    Stop being a (profanity) and take some actions to protect your home.

    Or continue to do as such and watch yourself lose out monetarily after your house gets wrecked and you can't get money out of her to pay for repair/cleaning.

  • I've rented to dozens of tenants over the years and some people will try and take advantage, especially if they sense you're a soft target. If you have a tenancy agreement I'd suggest sending her a 'Notice to remedy breach' that would include paying for specialist carpet cleaning and start proceedings to get rid of her if she doesn't change her behaviour in the allotted time. Look up how much notice you have to give a casual renter in your state, then have your mum sent her a notice to leave and use her bond to pay for the damages she caused.

    With tenants it causes considerably less headaches in the long run to do things by the book. ie. tenancy agreement, entry condition report with photos, inspections, lodging the bond etc. and jumping on any problems as soon as they occur, especially unpaid rent or damage to the property.

  • Main issue is the dogs, tell her that you heard the dogs inside and that's she told you that they'd only be outside …

    As for the state of outside, you can build a fence, or tell her that they have to be chained to the clothes line

  • This reminds me of the movie "He Died with a Felafel in His Hand"

  • Give her a letter in writing stating you are giving her 14 days notice to vacate.

    Looking at NSW you can give 14 days notice if there is a serious breach of tenancy and having dogs create a extreme mess by soiling the carpet inside can be stated that. Also note that the agreement was for dogs to be outside and she has also breached that (verbal) agreement.

    Tell her she needs to find another place to live and must pay for professional cleaning (and provide a receipt) to bring her room back up to a habitable standard.

    She may try and leave without cleaning, so I'm hoping the bond is enough to get a professional cleaner to cover the cost.

    • I'm about to send her a text (She's at work and I've come home to shit everywhere again).. But in regards to cleaning, I'm struggling to find the way to mention her carpet is disgusting without her knowing I went in there. Her bond (220) won't cover what she's already done, But if worst comes to worst my sister in law in an end of lease cleaner so at least I've got her to help me fix the carpet.

      • What's your sister in law's relation to the rent? It's she the agent or a propper inspector?

        • +1

          Okay so before my mum left we all made a deal as I didn't want the confrontation if any thing went wrong. Basically my sister in law was the one who helped my mum write the rules. She said that because my mum is so far away she will act as property inspector and do what a real estate agent would in terms of making sure everything was Okay, and being the go to girl incase things went wrong such as plumbing, electrical etc. She said she will organise everything and deal with it. I sent her a text today asking if she could do an inspection and check out her room, sent her some pictures of stains etc and she said she's going to put a letter in the mail notifying us of an inspection and come check the place out in a professional manner. Then once she states the issues she will have x amount of time to fix it or leave. She owns a cleaning business also so if worst comes to worst I guess I have her and all her equipment to fix what this girl has done

  • +1

    I think you were barking mad to let pets onto the property without vetting them first. A real howler of a decision.

  • You dont have to tell her that her carper is dirty. You can do a routine check anyway. Plus if you kick hwr out you have the right to check and make sure everything is in order isnt it?

  • +1

    forget the carpet she has been told to clean up the mess outside on multiple occasions and refuses to do it
    GOODBYE!!

  • -6

    For compensation can't you get payment of anither sort ;) , she is 19 you are 24… do the math

  • +3

    You need to kick her, but be very careful, it sounds like you have avoided a huge amount of the tenacy law. If she gets nasty you will probably be up for fines at the very least. I would immediately download the tenants right manual for your state and read it as if you were a vengeful tenant and wanted to get back at an unjust landlord. Even if your eviction goes well, knowing the law will help you with the next tenant.

    Failing to correctly lodge bond with the appropriate state bond board is a classic mistake first time landlords make with casually leased tenants, if you haven't lodged, expect to give it all back, because otherwise you will undoubtedly be reported for failing to lodge, and the fine will definitely be larger than just handing it all back.

    Just remember she has way more rights than you think, so a careful eviction is the way to go, where you know both hers and your rights before you step on a landmine of trouble.

    Oh and if you're not going to evict her for some insane reason, schedule an inspection with notice according to both the lease and the law (which are two different things). Get your mum down to inspect with a camera to document because you seem incapable of objective criticism while she would be standing beside you with a crazy mix of shame and an angry defiance at your invasion of her space.

    Good luck!

    • -1

      She's not a tenant.

      She's a house guest who's outstayed her welcome and contributes to household expenses.
      No bond, no rent, no agreement… mum let her stay to help out.

      That's all.

      Very difficult for her to claim tenancy rights (and protection) with no agreement in place.
      No bills in her name etc.

      OP should not give back 1c in "bond" if she's destroyed the carpet in the bedroom.

      • +1

        Yeah nah. She goes to VCAT, or your state equivalent, shows bank statements of paying rent and initial bond. Bond was never lodged.

        VCAT member will bend you over.

        • Yeah nah.
          She goes to VCAT, or state equivalent, and shows bank statements of paying BOARD in advance. No Bond, so no need for lodgement.
          VCAT will not bend anyone over.

          She's boarding with the son of the owner of the house (with an arrangement direct with the mother). There's no formal agreement in place at all to rent anything. Not a room, not a house. Nothing.

          Because of that, it would be a 'he said' 'she said' argument, and at the end of it all nothing would eventuate.

          No laws have been broken. The mother has allowed 'Jane' to live there due to whatever… "family troubles at home" etc, until she can find a place to live permanently. The term 'rent' and 'bond' are being used by OP mistakenly, with neither being entirely accurate.

          She's paying board in advance of one week. That's it.
          She's caused some damage, but nothing that the OP can't rectify with her.

        • +3

          @UFO:

          You think she is a boarder?

          1. You do not require a formal or written agreement for a tenancy to exist.
          2. She has exclusive residence and access to a room "There's a lock on her door"
          3. She presumably has a front door key as well.
          4. She presumably has free access in and out of the property.
          5. The actual owner does not reside in the property. OP does not own the property "I am renting my nan and pops house off her".
          6. Cleaning and meals are not included "She's tidying up her dishes"
          7. She paid a bond.
          8. OP is planning an "inspection" of the house to gain access to her room.

          NCAT will not see that she is a lodger or a boarder.

          It would not be a he said, she said argument. I take it you've never been to a NCAT hearing before. NCAT will nearly always favour the "less fortunate" party in matters like this. She stands to lose more being kicked out whereas OP stands to lose nothing (except a shitty backyard). NCAT may allow her to reside the remainder of a 6 month period to locate alternate accommodation and you'll be stuck with her for a while. RTA 2010 s14(3)(b)

          There are many potential breaches of the RTA in the OPs initial post. OP and their mother should be careful to find an amicable way for her to move out. If it turns nasty seek legal advice.

  • Big mistake. Tell her shes gotta go

  • -4

    Look you really shouldnt of said yes to pets that is never a good idea. But you got two options 1. confront her which will result in her probably having to move out (you kicking her out) or 2. you will have to just tough it out if you are too much of a bitch to confront her (which it sounds like you are).

    P.S.

    You being 24 and her being 19 i wouldn't be surprise me if you letting her live you with had a hidden agenda if you know what i mean in which confrontation will result in you having no chance of inter-course with this girl.

  • +2

    OP, in all honesty, have you been fantasising about boning her and could that be the reason you're holding on?

    • I wouldn't with someone who is comfortable living in animal filth.

  • +1

    Tell her to GTFO. Give her two weeks, then change the locks.

  • +5

    You need to resort to psychological warfare.

    Befriend her dogs. Take them to the park. Train them. When speaking to your housemate ask her if it's "ok that you hang out with the dogs without you?". Take them at the beach and post them on social media. Hold a party for the dogs next birthday and invite all your friends over. Cook organic and healthy meals for them. Watch their coat improve and shine. Make the dogs love you.

    Tell her she's evicted. Tell her the dogs are staying with you. When she argues (and she will) tell her it's the dogs choice, not hers. Draw a line in the backyard. Make her stand at the other end of the yard. Both call out to the dogs. Hug and kiss the puppers when they respond to you only, and run over to you with waggy tails. Watch her heart break. Tell her "don't make it weird" and go watch Married at First Sight with the puppers obediently sitting by your leg.

    You have won.

  • I truly truly understand what you are going through, because my situation is almost the same as yours about 2 years ago!! My days were hell towards the end of her term and I couldn't even focus at work and didn't want to go to my own home!

    Did you write down on the contract what you have agreed on with the pet situation? Or is there a contract at all? You can seek out help from the Ombudsman to see if you have legal ground to bump her out.

    You need to have a conversation with her, as hard as it is, to let her know that this is not OK.

    Are you two already in bad terms? Or still OK to talk?

    • BTW, for my situation, luckily I only signed her up for 6 months, so I ended up waited out for the 6 months and she left (with >$1500 owing in rent and utilities). We were in pretty bad terms by that time. I almost had fear for my safety.

  • The amount of money you are going to waste in having to replace carpets/repairs, and cleaning will far outweigh the bond and rent you have received.Learning from your failures teaches you valuable life lessons. Maybe you can become more assertive from this experience.

  • +1

    Kick her out - 100%

    First rule of housemates/tenants - NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER accept anyone who is moving out of their parents place, especially if they're under 20. Let some other sucker teach them manners and how to play well with people.

  • you have a stupid teenage millenial who doesnt give a crap about your house - move her on asap, lesson learned. the dogs wont get any cleaner either.

  • +1

    ALWAYS do your research before renting and putting up a place for rent. I'm not gonna say how it was bad you didn't put an agreement cos you know this now. Call the RTA and see if they have advice. They're free and might help you. Next time if there's sentimental stuff…get a real estate involved. You're paying the price for it now. Don't need to say you went into her room just say there's a bad smell and you should be able to look in there when shes there to see everything is maintained (as owner/mum wants to know)..that should give you a valid reason to kick her out…you gotta do it mate. Noone else can do it for ya.

  • +1

    Launch a tactical nuclear strike onto your house. There won't be anymore issues with the carpet, the lawn or anything after that.

    • is there spiders there?

      • There won't be after it's done.

  • Here's my opinion. The house you're living belonged to your grandparents. By the sound grandparents took pride in their home. Your tenant needs to go. Besides the dogs toileting everywhere that should be enough for you to want her out. I would be very upset if someone came along and ruined anything precious of mine. When people show you what they are really like believe them. She is not going to change now or ever.

  • Why can't the dogs go back to her parents place? She hasn't stuck to the agreement of tidying up, she's broken the rules by allowing them inside and wrecking the carpet, your grandparents took pride in the house and she hasn't respected that. Honestly you're doing her a favour by setting some solid boundaries. Either the dogs go back to her parents place or she goes with them. You don't have to be mean about it, you just need to say that you don't feel that you're honouring your grandparents memory by allowing her dogs to defecate all over their stuff, or by them wrecking the carpet in her room. Offer her a few weeks to rectify the situation and then you've done the right thing by her too. I'm usually a massive softy but this is incredibly disrespectful of her and is exactly the reason why it's so hard to rent a 'pet-friendly' residence. If you're a bit shy of confrontation (which is fine), then get your Mum to come down and read her the riot act.

  • You cannot kick her out. If she decides to take this matters to Civil and Administrative Tribunal, then you will be asked why you want to remove her from your premises and you go on and tell the judge that you didn't see this coming when you allowed the tenant to bring her pets, then you are screwed.

  • +5

    If I were you, I wouldn't get a dog while hers are there. If you do, your puppy with pick up all of her dogs habits.

  • +1

    Didn't sign a lease agreement, 2 weeks bond, 19 year old girl, 2 dogs

    You seriously thought everything would be fine? Lesson learned I guess, kick her out and bill her for the cleaning cost, she wont pay it but attempt to anyway

  • Sounds like awful human being. All three gots to go. Boot her out asap, get one of your friends to move into your room whilst you sleep on the couch until she gone, someone who can be there when you're not. Change the locks. People like her will hold a grudge, she won't go easily because she probs not even straight out of parents, just doesn't have any rental references that are worth a damn and suckers like you don't come along often.

  • -1

    She can stay along with the dogs provided you get regular service along with the rent.

  • -1

    The dog you get has to be trained to kill on command. That will sort out your roomies dog situation
    You have no choice in the matter.

  • -1

    Oh you dear poor child. 1x young adult + 2x dogs = 3 species. Hmm surely that counts for more flatmates lol.
    Lesson learned and cop it on the chin.

    You never mentioned if faithful with her rent, or if she is working, etc? Ah I see, this is grown up stuff you're only 24yrs…you have a long way to develop wisdom padawan.

  • I hope she is paying you more than just rent :P

    You are being taken for a ride, kick her out and fast. If she allows her dogs to trash your house, then there needs to be no sympathy from you. She can find somewhere else.

  • Hi there - I've had friends in this situation. You don't want to confront her because you fear to. The problem is, if you don't, things are crap for 2+ years… they slowly get worse… and in the end you will still have to chuck her out. Given that, do it now. It will be even harder later and you don't have to spend more time with her.

  • This isn't a hard decision.. Kick her out. Period. There is no minimum time you've got to give her, but I'd be expecting her to have the dogs gone immediately, and she can have 2 weeks to vacate. If she argues, stick to your guns. Don't fear repercussions as you won't be living with her soon…

  • Kick her out the door. Problem fix. easy than study.

  • +4

    OP, we need an update!

  • First of all, if you are renting out furnished room then you should talk to her that the furniture or the carpet or anything should not be ruined. Note that, I am not asking you to confront her but talk to her about the issues and the problems you are having with her or her dogs very politely. If she does not agree then you should give her a timeframe and ask her to seek another house for rent as her dogs are unbearable.

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