[NSFW] Who Should Be Paying for Condoms?

lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 10:14
Last edited 14/12/2014 - 09:32

Hey guys, just curious, who usually pay for condoms? is it the male or female?

I have been dating this guy for few months and the other day he complained about how expensive condoms are and he wanted me to start paying for condoms. But when I asked him if he would pay for birth control pills too if I were to start taking pills. He said NO.

Just wondering if it's normal for guys, especially in Australia to ask the girlfriend to chip in for condoms?

Thanks in advance

Update: Broke up with him, cried my eyes out but I will eventually be alright (I hope soon). Thanks to everyone for all the kind hearted messages and advices. It does helps to know that there are so many kind people out there

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  • SavatteDodo on 12/12/2014 - 11:21
    +10

    This thread gonna be gold

  • cypher67 on 12/12/2014 - 11:21
    +8

    No one ever got pregnant using the back entrance

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 11:22
      +8

      Eww….

    • c64 on 12/12/2014 - 11:22
      +1

      not going to help with stds though

  • pyramid on 12/12/2014 - 11:24
    +9

    he can't afford condom but afford alcohol…Use and throw…dump him…

  • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 11:25
    +60

    Reading all the comments here, it seems my best course of action is to dump this guy :(

    • tomleonhart on 12/12/2014 - 11:41
      +7

      you're giving him xxx and he complains about buying condoms ???? Find another one who treasures you !

    • Cheeper on 12/12/2014 - 11:43
      +3

      Sounds like he values his booze more than his time with you.
      You know how to fix that.

    • strikerzebra on 12/12/2014 - 11:52
      +7

      Sit down with him and have a serious discussion and if he is still a dick get rid of him

    • PJC on 12/12/2014 - 11:54
      +9

      Move on. You'll find someone who loves you. Sober men perform better anyway.

    • Islund on 12/12/2014 - 22:19
      +1

      I will buy you dinner and the condoms as well

  • pao2x on 12/12/2014 - 11:32
    +1

    Buy in bulk hahaha.. Seriously he can't afford condoms?

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 11:54
    +5

    If he thinks condoms are more expensive than children, STD's or an abortion then it would be more worthwhile for you to spend time with another person. This is the most Idiotic thing I've heard this year !

  • samcro on 12/12/2014 - 11:57
    +11

    Going with the consensus - dump him!

  • chatterbox on 12/12/2014 - 12:02

    Seriously……………

  • miscbrah on 12/12/2014 - 12:04
    +17

    i buy my own condoms and don't drink

    just sayin'

    • mls82 on 12/12/2014 - 14:52

      I was reading through waiting for the first "I'll buy the condom if you have sex with me"-type response. You did not disappoint.

  • ho-ly phuc on 12/12/2014 - 12:07
    +18

    Call his mom and tell her to give him some money for condoms.

  • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 12:09
    +14

    I booked a holiday for both of us in Feb next year. Now I am wondering if I should ask him to pay for his half before dumping him.

    • strikerzebra on 12/12/2014 - 12:13
      +2

      Why were you paying for the whole holiday anyway, is it for a special occasion?

      • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 13:16
        +4

        I am not paying for the whole holiday. He said since I am the bargain expert, I should be the one organising the holiday. I've made bookings for flights and hotels but have not asked him for his share yet because I've not finalised everything yet.

        Would it be too cruel to ask him for the money and then dump him?

        • adamren on 12/12/2014 - 13:30
          +6

          It's his half, if it's a joint couples trip then you each pay your way.

          It would be cruel to most others, but not your BF, he's not like most.

        • strikerzebra on 12/12/2014 - 14:00
          +6

          Not cruel, if he is going on the holiday he should pay his share, but how can he afford to pay for half the holiday when he can't afford $1 for a condom?

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 14:16
          +3

          He told me he would pay me for his half, he just got $5000 tax return and he has full time job.
          It's not like he can't afford $1 condom. He said because I want sex more than he does I should pay for the condoms.

        • kingmw on 12/12/2014 - 14:27
          +3

          If you are going to break up with him, you should get him to cough up the whole amount before dumping him.

        • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 20:47

          sounds like a bum to me. do you really love him that much?

        • Cheeper on 12/12/2014 - 20:50
          +4

          Cut the rat off. You must know some other guy/girl who would love to go on a holiday.
          You can have fun with good friends, does not have to be in the cot.
          This guy deserves nothing, he will find another doormat.

        • nicksinternet on 14/12/2014 - 10:45

          @lusicul:

          Am I missing something here? Guy complains girl wants more sex than he does? I'm pretty sure most healthy guys want sex all the time. This guy really does have first world problems.

        • TheBird on 14/12/2014 - 13:10

          @lusicul:

          Just find another guy for those other nights he doesn't want it.

    • ProjectZero on 12/12/2014 - 12:16
      +4

      That would be the best course of action lol.

      Guy sounds like a douche, dump him and see how much he'd be paying for sex.

      That or just tell him no sex until he can actually afford condoms… seriously lol.

  • snook on 12/12/2014 - 12:14
    +10

    Dump

  • rubbishcollector on 12/12/2014 - 12:16

    Is it real?

  • wayfastwhitie on 12/12/2014 - 12:19
    +1

    did this thread go all Dolly Doctor? Poor sex, Tight ass (pardon the pun) and sounds to have a drinking problem. Might be time to look elsewhere

    • ProjectZero on 12/12/2014 - 12:21
      +3

      You forgot one more issue, complaining about too much sex…

      • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 13:17
        +1

        I used to think guys don't mind horny girl, but I guess I was wrong.

        • adamren on 12/12/2014 - 13:28
          +7

          Nope. Bad thinking, get that out of your head. Real guys don't mind their lady being high-libido.

          At least I don't.

        • scrimshaw on 12/12/2014 - 13:38

          @adamren:

          That's not true. As a bachelor you may be tempted to say "I don't mind a horny girl begging for sex every time I see her" but in reality… http://ask.metafilter.com/150919/My-girlfriend-wants-to-have…

        • ProjectZero on 12/12/2014 - 13:51

          I think it could be the booze talking… I'm sure most guys don't mind. Save some very unique (read as "weird) individuals.

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 13:56

          It's stereotype. Also, it really depends on the situation as well.

        • adamren on 12/12/2014 - 13:59
          +1

          @scrimshaw: Not a bach. Even when I was, I didn't care if they made me exhausted.

          Good exercise. And can polish up on clam diving skills until the latency period is up.

          Not sure of that link, skimmed through it but couldn't really figure the TL;DR summary.

          Use hands? Mix it up? Was that the take away?

  • raj koothrappali on 12/12/2014 - 12:21
    +12

    I will pay!

  • bulkie on 12/12/2014 - 12:21
    +2

    Just made my gloomy friday brighter…

  • strikerzebra on 12/12/2014 - 12:27
    +11

    $1 for sex is cheap, the lady on the corner street wants $50

    • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 12:37
      +3

      Comes with free STD as a bonus.

  • messiah1095 on 12/12/2014 - 12:28
    +7

    This bloke sounds like a real winner.

  • rubbishcollector on 12/12/2014 - 12:28
    +9

    when are you leaving him?

  • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 12:31
    +8

    I've estimated this year, it has cost me about $5,000 per shag. So you can say I don't get much 'bang' for my buck.

    Use to much much cheaper before kids! lol

    Seriously, you need to dump the loser.

  • zeppeybabey on 12/12/2014 - 12:33
    +4

    I bring my own connies hint hint

  • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 12:36
    +37

    I bet every guy here is thinking… 'hmmm I would love to see a photo of lusicul'

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 13:14
      +10

      LOL, I can't post my photo here because I know some colleagues visit ozbargain quite often.

      • deal seeking missile on 13/12/2014 - 04:36
        +1

        good call lol

      • WT on 13/12/2014 - 10:59
        +3

        a pic that most colleagues would not "recognise" will suffice

        • lusicul on 13/12/2014 - 14:23
          +6

          I'll pm you my pic if u promise to buy me dinner :D

        • ranma on 13/12/2014 - 14:28

          @lusicul: Darn you're in melbourne. Any other girls with Lusi's issues in Sydney? Tinder's not working too well for me :/

        • iridiumstem on 13/12/2014 - 14:29
          +1

          @lusicul: It would be really awkward if half the guys from this thread pms you about buying you a dinner. It is more awkward because I know that I will be one of the guys in that list.

        • WT on 14/12/2014 - 12:28
          +1

          @lusicul:

          Sounds good!

          Or we could go straight to desert

      • rodinthink on 13/12/2014 - 18:35
        +2

        How about your boyfriend pic? We just wondering how gold is his rectum

  • Davo1111 on 12/12/2014 - 12:39
    +1

    You can buy 144 condoms for $40.

    Go bulk.

  • easternculture on 12/12/2014 - 12:42
    +5

    Canterbury Drug Clinic .. they have them on the front counter for free, Take as much as you want.

  • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 12:53
    +14

    Boyfriend of yours sound like he doesn't deserve you.
    Seriously, complaining about 4 dollars per week?

    I think you should talk to him at least, not because of the condom but because he really sound like he doesn't care about you enough… (though this is from a guy on the net, who doesn't know this guy well).

    I've been in similar situation as that guy though, spending over $40 on condoms per month for couple of months (though be fair, we couldn't get the cheaper ones because my girlfriend had allergic reactions to latex). I had a tight budget at that time so I had to cut few things, but I paid for the condoms, until my girlfriend realised that I was spending way too much on them.
    My girlfriend started going on a pill which reduced the cost by heaps. Though I actually told her to not go on it if is it sole for monetary reasons, since I've heard mixed things about pills.

    The thing that surprises me is that he's treating you like crap, honestly 4 dollars per week, and he clearly has more budget than I did. Also, I think this is a sign that clearly says that he doesn't care about you. Now it looks like this is just something that's about sex and little bit of money, but by the sound of it, when you seriously need him, i.e. getting in a seriously bad situation, he'd abandon you because it "costs" too much for him.

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 13:23

      I was going to start taking pills because he told me he prefers bare back. Never thought of asking him to help out with the pills. That's why I was very shocked when he asked me to pay for condoms.

      • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 13:25
        +2

        My gf started becoming more emotional because she started going on pill (well that is what she said lel). If that sort of thing happens, do you think he will care about how you feel or money/his preference?

        Clearly you care for him and clearly you deserve someone better. Though I somehow get the feeling that deep down, you want the relationship to work. Follow your heart, people on the net doesn't know who you are like you do. You are the one who have to bear the consequences of your actions. Am I reading too much between the line?

        Though as a person who got dumped because he had to go back and do military service for 2 years against his will, you will get over it even if it feels like you can't.

        I simply wish you luck, no matter what your decision may be.

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 14:29

          Thank you for the advice. I think you are right, deep down I am hoping it would work out between us. My head is telling me to leave but my heart is so attached to him :(

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 14:40
          +5

          @lusicul: People often worry about emotional impact of an event because the process of remedying this is subconscious. Just saying.

          You really do sound like stuck between a rock and a hard place. No matter what you do, you will regret some, lose some. Do what you think/feel is right, in the end, what you read on these, along with horrendous jokes, are just advices. Don't do things because people tell you to, that will only add to regrets.

          Anyways, good luck, no matter what you do, I hope you come out from it with a smile. Also, don't blame yourself nor think it is just you. People go through these sort of things all the time.

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 16:43
          +1

          @lusicul: Hey hon, gf who is allergic to latex condoms right here. Imo, you should sit down and think it through. Buying condoms isn't the issue, it's how he's treating you. (Because yeah, I'm dating a hardcore ozbargainer and he's not that stingy lol)

          And yeah, bear in mind that if you go on the pill, whatever feelings you have about the relationship as it stands, are likely to be amplified. (Think that moodiness that comes with PMS amp'ed up 5-fold)

          It's wonderful that you want it to work out, but make sure he's pulling the same weight. You'll wear yourself down otherwise.

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 16:56

          @AznMitch:

          Hey, thanks for taking time to write to me :)

          I have really bad PMS every month, can't imagine having that X 5. I will bear that in mind should I consider taking pills.

          I definitely need to have some serious thinking about this relationship. What pisses me off is the fact that he never seemed to mind spending money on alcohol on himself and his mates. But then complains about $12/pack condoms.

          Yourself and AznMitch are lovely people. Thanks so much.

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 17:00

          @lusicul: For the most part the PMS pain goes away (I had to take days off school all the time because of it) but yeah, I get emotional outbursts a LOT more frequently. Though, I prefer feeling meh for 2 days a month over lying in bed clutching a water bottle thinking I'm going to die.

          I'll leave you be for now since this is something you decide, but good luck!! :)

        • YTW on 12/12/2014 - 18:52
          +2

          @lusicul: The Pill can help with PMS. But be wary of it. I started getting some serious side effects from it after a few years on it. I was getting violent thoughts and major mood swings.

          I really do think you need a back up for the condoms though…unless you are willing to have a 'happy accident' and spend the next 18yrs trying to get child support out of this guy. You know, the one who is kicking off about $1 in exchange for sex. Imagine trying to get more than that without the sex!

          You could look into an implant, IUD etc. All have their pros and cons. Money is the last thing you should be worrying about when it comes to contraception - safety and effectiveness are what matter.

          I would take his actions at the moment as major red flags and start really assessing if he is a good long term prospect (assuming that's what you want). Only you can decide that, there may be some awesome qualities to him that override his faults. But it does help to be open to other people's advice and opinions (as you have been) because, as they say, love is blind!

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 19:21

          @lusicul: Yeah, backup condoms sound like a decent idea. There are certain medicines that make pills to be less effective. Also, just in case you are going to go on a pill, first few weeks taking the pill are not a safe zone. As I said to my gf, read the instruction.

  • anawth on 12/12/2014 - 12:54
    +15

    I may be able to help you here, although I need this question answered first. How effective are Eneloop batteries as a contraceptive?

    • pinchies on 12/12/2014 - 15:19

      They are very … powerful.

      • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 15:22

        …I don't even want to imagine how it works. You plug it in, it discharges and you have to rech… Do you have to dry it befo… I will just stop here.

  • styrenic on 12/12/2014 - 13:15
    +4

    He's not worth your time honey.

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 13:19
      +5

      My friends been telling me this too but I just can't seem to get away from him. It's like I am under his spell or something. I always make excuses for his behaviours and the way he's treating me.

      • xabiso on 12/12/2014 - 13:56

        check out "my cup theory" on Google. you are spending too much energy on him and he probably isn't doing the same for you.

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 14:29

          I think my cup is empty :(

      • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 15:10
        +6

        Treat em' mean, keep em' keen.

        I use to think WTF, but for reasons I can't fathom, even beautiful and smart girls who would not have any trouble finding a great guy seem to be attracted to losers who mistreat them.

        It seems the worst they are treated, the more the girl wants them thinking they can tame or change them.

        Anyway, I never understood it, or girls in general (even though I'm married now and have had a few girlfriends).

        • BartholemewH on 12/12/2014 - 21:24
          +1

          I don't care how un pc it sounds the above is true.

      • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 15:26
        +3

        hmmmm have you ever thought "he's just not that into you".

        I must admit, I was seeing a girl, attractive, treated me well, sex was great (I even paid for the condoms! lol) but I was never really into her.

        I could have strung her along, but I could see she was starting to fall in love with me. There wasn't an issue with us getting along, or a problem with her. She ticked all the boxes.

        Simply, I wasn't that into her.

        So in the end I decided to do the right thing and break up with her, before I hurt her even more. I felt bad about at the time and still do.

        Him not being into you is not your fault whatsoever.

        Think about it, if he doesn't change (and I can guarantee he won't) would you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Unlike my case above, at least the sex was great, but in the absence of great sex, I'm not sure why you're hanging around. Maybe find a guy who has a bigger case of yellow fever.

        I don't know you, but I'm a married man, and know you frankly deserve better :)

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 15:51

          It has been playing in the back of my mind that maybe "He's just not that into me and stringing me along until a better woman comes along". I mentioned this to him before and he said I was just being silly and insecure.

          I don't know why I am so attached to him, I don't consider myself desperate.

        • JimB on 12/12/2014 - 16:09
          +2

          @lusicul:

          Well from his point of view, even though he's not that into you (or sex for that matter!) why would be break up with you. I'm sure you treat him well and give him sex. Why not continue with it until something better comes along?

          I personally think some girls like to be mistreated, seems to make the girls even more attracted.

          I'm sure you've seen your female friends in that sort of relationship, and may have even questioned why she is even sticking around, she's certainly too good for him. I'm sure your friends are asking you the same question.

        • bargainbunny on 13/12/2014 - 10:13
          +1

          @lusicul: RUN!!! JUST RUN!!! Your instincts are right. He doesn't value you or respect you. You are a place holder for that something better that he "thinks" he'll get. It has nothing to do with you, it's all him but if you allow him to continue to treat you this way you will ALWAYS be the one compromising.

          Leaving is never easy but just because it's hard does not mean it isn't the best thing for you.

          Even if he won't pay his half for the holiday cut your losses. The longer you stay the more costly it becomes and not only financially. This person will continue to devalue you and eventually you will believe you are worth nothing. You deserve better.

      • styrenic on 12/12/2014 - 15:36

        You need to talk to him about that and make it clear to him it's an issue but can be resolved. If he want's to change he'll at try. If he doesn't want to then end it.

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 15:53

          Whenever I talk to him about any issues, he doesn't think there are any issues at all. He said I was being drama queen.

        • jaybmate on 12/12/2014 - 17:46
          +2

          @lusicul: another red flag

  • adamren on 12/12/2014 - 13:19
    +4

    Seriously? What guy doesn't buy his own condoms. You're getting laid for chrissakes!

    Plus you're assured a needle hasn't been pierced through them from a crazy gal who wants to get pregnant.

    Remember 'Don't stick d!ck in crazy!'

    Simple.

    • Pizdets on 12/12/2014 - 14:15
      +1

      Remember 'Don't stick d!ck in crazy!'

      That's fortune cookie material

      • adamren on 12/12/2014 - 14:23

        It's gotta be memorable, especially if you're in lust and or drunk.

        If she's crazy it's not worth it.

  • Flameo on 12/12/2014 - 13:24

    Condom is free, just go to your GP.

  • FiDad on 12/12/2014 - 13:25
    +5

    WoW. Definitely time to find a new boyfriend. I can understand cheap but not this cheap

  • johndowy on 12/12/2014 - 13:31

    Where is he from? Is he Australian?

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 14:47

      He is Australian and that's why I thought maybe it has something to do with cultural difference. I am Asian and has only dated an Asian guy before.

      • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 15:05
        -2

        Nothing I know of culturally. If he's being cheap it has nothing to do with his nationality or ethnicity. Frankly, asking if it is so casually is kind of racist. If he was Jewish would you ask something like "Do Jews usually make their girlfriends pay for condoms?"

        Are you sure he just doesn't want to stop using condoms because it is more enjoyable condom-free? That sounds like a far more likely explanation.

        • Baghern on 12/12/2014 - 15:19
          +2

          racist don't think so?

          you answered yourself in the first sentence

          "culture"

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 15:24
          +2

          Sorry, didn't mean to be racist at all. I said it because when I was with my Asian boyfriend he used to pay for everything.
          And now I am dating this guy, he expects me to pay for my own meals etc. He told me that's how it is in Australia.

        • ProjectZero on 12/12/2014 - 15:31

          @lusicul:

          Well being asian myself, I'd say there are some that guys like myself that say they would pay for everything.

          But that could just be the Ego talking…

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 15:31
          +1

          @lusicul: True, there are that expectation of males paying for everything and such in certain Asian countries. I personally think that it stems from that phallocentric cultural background/everyone expects the male to be much more wealthy than the female. Perhaps that is why in Australia, the expectation about male paying everything is far less and the sense of splitting the bill is not condemned.

          If I were to date someone who's from my country, I would probably be expected to pay for meals, dates, etc etc.

          Though it's just from my observations, which can be wrong.

          Also, you were not being a racist, it's called availability heuristics. :P

        • buneyha on 12/12/2014 - 16:05
          +1

          @ProjectZero:

          I thought it was just an azn thing that we know how to treat our ladies.
          Personally I got for my girl at least 3 credit cards and always make sure she always have plenty of dough. Even got her a car.
          I dress very casually, she dresses so beautifully.
          People probably look at us and wonder, 'how a guy like him get a girl like her'.
          Seen it like this a lot but maybe it's just the azn thing, lol.
          I know an azn guy who gave his gf a $80k merc as a breakup gift.
          This guy looks smaller than a dot in the spectrum of things.
          If he's not willing to pay for commie,
          will he treat you when you're out?
          will he buy you all the car and the diamond jewels?
          will he buy you that house and the fancy car?
          will he support you when he plants his seed in you?
          From the sound of things, he is just using you.
          I'm not in you shoes but from what I read, he doesn't deserve you.

        • burningrage on 12/12/2014 - 16:33
          +4

          @lusicul:

          Two words: Dump him.

        • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 17:28

          @lusicul:

          And to some degree he might have a point. You've elaborated further about him expecting you to pay for all your own stuff, not just condoms, which completely changes this. Maybe in 21st century Australia many more women are financially independent so it's not unreasonable to expect them to use their income for things they want.

          Expect a women to pay for her own things if she is capable: you're a cheapskate who should be dumped.

          Pay for everything: you're a sexist perpetuating patriarchy & control over a women.

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