How to Be Invisible for Racist/Bully Teens in Shopping Malls?

tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:21
Last edited 13/07/2024 - 22:26

Hi All,

I am an Indian with average build and 5ft 7in height. I have been in Australia since 2015. Never faced racist or bully behaviour for almost 8 years.

Me and my partner walk in the mall close by in the evening and so some shopping and go home. In last 1 year i have faced some bully behaviour from teens. Flipping off, shouting loud from behind, one even pulled down his pants showing his bum 🤷

I have already stopped having eye contact with anyone i think they are troublesome. Doesn’t feel nice.

What can I do?
Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint? Is it legal ?

General Discussion

Comments

    • Kategs on 14/07/2024 - 10:29
      +10

      As an Australian of anglo-saxon heritage and a parent to 3 teens and a youngster, I am so sorry that you are finding yourself experiencing what you are. Its plain wrong, reflective of a big societal issue and not something you should be finding yourself needing to deal with - let alone on your own. Every human in Australia deserves to feel safe, accepted and free to go about their everyday lives regardless of their race, colour, size, gender, sexuality etc (as well as their facial hair status LOL!). I wish there was more I could say / do to support you other than to let you know that your post touched me and I'm sorry.

    • munecito on 14/07/2024 - 10:38

      Work on real skills, not on a costume. Join a MMA, boxing, martial arts gym.

      By the reasoning that everyone with a beard is mean, then every crossdresser is a woman.

  • susannetsv on 14/07/2024 - 10:05
    +6

    This probably has nothing to do with you being Indian, :-) from time to time we all have to put up with these people looking for some cheap entertainment.

    • Ughhh on 14/07/2024 - 10:22
      +8

      Most bullies pick victims who seem like they won't fight back, seem weaker than themselves. They might think a non Caucasian person is new to Aust, can't speak English well enough to defend themselves, don't want to cause trouble in a foreign country and thus are easy targets.

      • 900dollaridoos on 16/07/2024 - 11:47

        Sure but there's nothing in the post to indicated it was that, so adding the racism element just fuels further divide which we don't need.

    • xsacha on 16/07/2024 - 05:43

      100% agreed. I am white and these kids will look for anything they can target that they think I will be sensitive about.
      For you, it might have been race as it is an easy one. They'll say racist stuff just to stir you up.
      For me, they will mention clothes, hair, shoes or something I am carrying.

      If you walk past them confidently, smiling and look like you wouldn't be easily bothered, they won't even attempt it.
      If they do bother you and you don't engage, they will move on.

  • 2esc on 14/07/2024 - 10:38
    +1

    My new neighbour who just moved in 6 months ago across the road came from Melbourne where his family has lived the last 10 years after coming from Pakistan.

    A job opportunity brought him down here to east gippsland and says so far its been a huge improvement compared to the city especially for his kids.

    He says he might get some weird questions about his country and culture but nothing malicious so far compared to Collingwood he reckons its gotten worse since covid before covid it wasnt a problem.

    He opened up after i apologised about my wife who is a bit nosey sometimes.

    Theres got to be some problems in Melbourne as his not having problems here in a small rural town of mostly white uneducated hillbillies hopefully that doesnt change because they seem like a nice family.

  • Miss B on 14/07/2024 - 11:39
    +2

    Best bet is probably to ignore them at the time, though i think it's a good idea to report them to security as well once you're past them. I find one of the best ways to ignore people is to do your best to look unphased, don't make yourself small and carry on a casual conversation with each other - it can just be about what you're planning to buy even if you've already discussed it or just anything, it doesn't need to be loud but speak confidently. It then makes sense for you to kind of be looking a bit towards each other and ignoring the people around you, you're not specifically avoiding eye contact and ignoring them, you're just busy doing your own thing. Act as though you assume everything they do is not aimed at you and continue with your conversation.

  • neoleo on 14/07/2024 - 13:20
    +3

    Report them to the Security, hopefully they will be banned from entering the mall. I have a story that there was one very pretty woman that worked in a mall where one guy tried to approach her to be his girlfriend. But not in a good/nice ways. She didn't feel safe and reported to the Security. The man was banned from entering the mall for 1 year …

  • nobro25 on 14/07/2024 - 14:31
    +1

    I'm more worried about random knife attacks in the shopping malls some lunatic randomly puts a knife into your spine from behind.

  • octocore on 14/07/2024 - 14:44
    +5

    There is no need to "Be Invisible" be proud of who you are. Shine who you are into this world. You are uniquely you and the only one in their entire world that is you.

    As a matter of fact your background is from a majority of world population. Do not tolerate anyone putting your or any culture down and above another.
    Call the cops, record them, be assertive (Not aggressive). Do not be submissive or passive.

    Make their life going forward difficult with a police record if it comes to that.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 19:33

      I am proud if my heritage. Simply doesn’t want to deal with idiots.

      • octocore on 14/07/2024 - 19:48

        Good for you and the choices you choose for yourself.

  • ram4ram on 14/07/2024 - 15:01

    Unfortunately there's not much you can do. You can report them to security but would that would most likely be a slap on the wrist, if it even came to that. They might have security footage… Of what? Teeneagers just interacting with a person or two, no audio, no physical fighting… Nothing.

    You just have to realise that when you're a visible minority, you are an obvious target to bullies, racists, psychos or even normal people who are having a bad day, they may vent their frustrations at you and ruin your day

    Welcome to Australia. Toughen up, there's no way around it, sorry it happened to you but it is the price of being a visible minority (…which is partly why ethnic enclaves form).

  • bathuu on 14/07/2024 - 15:10
    +2

    Unfortunately not much you can do with these hot headed stupid teenage/kids from low life breeds. Altercation could lead to anything worse than avoiding them. They don't have anything to lose, but you are

  • OzBarAnon on 14/07/2024 - 15:13
    +3

    Learn how to fight, watch your back, and ignore them

  • runamuck on 14/07/2024 - 16:56
    -2

    Not much you can do. Best not to stand out. Do you wear a turban?

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 19:24

      No. Turbans come with kirpans too and I dont think people mess with Punjabis, they are badass.

    • octocore on 14/07/2024 - 19:50
      +1

      That’s very disappointed to see. I would rather see a community where the problem of racism is taken actions towards rather then requesting someone to give up a part of their religion so they can feel safer.

  • Ghost47 on 14/07/2024 - 18:16
    +2

    Buy one of these OP.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 19:22

      Probably matches the title 😂

  • frewer on 14/07/2024 - 19:33
    +1

    Learn how to Sath deals with it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLVWXZk3Y5g

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 19:37
      +1

      I saw that one! It is not easy to think of a cleaver comeback if english is not your first language.

  • Aneurism on 14/07/2024 - 21:53

    If it were me, I would get a wearable hidden camera and be ready to have it turned on when I approach their hangout area. I would collect enough to create a montage that could go to security personnel for the shopping Centre or alternatively police. (If they are exposing themselves in public they are breaking the law). I wouldn't bother confronting them and just record the behaviour but not inflame it and just keep moving.,

    Alternatively, if no action is taken then it could be posted to YouTube where they might find that they will have a very hard time if ever job seeking in future (or if they have a job once identified they won't have one for long). This might only be a viable option after moving suburbs.

    Although the whole scenario is uncomfortable and unpleasant, compared to the US, where kids somehow end up shooting up their neighborhood, Australia is relatively docile in comparison.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 22:46

      Yes I agree. Much better I guess.

  • Ilikecars on 14/07/2024 - 22:09

    Depending on how old they are, (if they are too young, just let it go), if they are 15+ years old, stand your ground and give them a scare (do not under any circumstances hurt them), however, you need to show them you aren't afraid to stand up for yourself. Bully's target people they view as vulnerable. Looking away is a sign to these kids that they can continue to treat you this way without any repercussions.

    Ask yourself, do you really want to alter your shopping schedule or any aspect of your life to avoid being harassed by this group of people? Should you have to do this? The answer should be no to both. Again, do not put yourself in a position where you can get in trouble, but don't be afraid to give them a scare and show them you are not afraid of them.

    Hope you don't let this get you down too much, no one should be made to feel that way.

    Some examples of what to do.

    Next time you notice them making comments or gestures, stop what you're doing and agressively and confidently turn around or walk up to this group and ask them sternly "What the **** did you just say to me you little ****"

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 22:43

      I will try to stand my ground next time.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 22:44

      🤷🏻‍♂️

    • Ilikecars on 14/07/2024 - 23:31
      +3

      Are we not all outsiders Dack? We all immigrated here from the UK and other various countries. Then we have the indigenous. Sounds like you are actually a racist dog to me.

      • Hufferdun on 15/07/2024 - 03:26

        The absolute state of boomers

    • Gervais fanboy on 15/07/2024 - 03:10
      +2

      ‘We’?

      Yet you collectively vote for a Government that keeps letting more and more in?

      Where’s the logic in that??

      • Hufferdun on 15/07/2024 - 03:25
        +1

        Nobody voted for this.

        Some senators even explicitly said as much when blocking the recently-suggested vote on immigration, effectively "We know they don't want it, there's no point wasting money on voting booths."

        Not that 'voting' should even have any place in such a discussion. It's genocide, an invasion. Shove your pencil. Good White men know what needs to be done to all these foreigners but our traitorous government stands in our way.

        • Gervais fanboy on 15/07/2024 - 04:47
          -1

          Some senators

          Mate, wait till you find out that it’s the ruling elected government that basically controls immigration..

          It's genocide,

          Bit over the top, no?

          Good White men know what needs to be done to all these foreigners but our traitorous government stands in our way

          Firstly, most white people don’t actually think like that, though even I as a coloured person would hope for a stronger sense of nationalism amongst the natives(whites/non whites, everyone) here. I now quite often see white people demonising other white people and their ancestors.
          Second, you guys put these ‘traitorous governments’ in charge. So stop with the victim mindset.
          Also, you need to get out and give some of these migrants a chance, lot of good people out there mate. You’d be surprised

  • nosey on 14/07/2024 - 23:19
    +1

    Will ask some girls at work tmw who live/shop there. I learnt the term 'trolley pole' from them lol (the handle from trolleys that can be taken out and used to beat people - the shit people come up with…)

    • nosey on 15/07/2024 - 09:58

      Reponse "they are unpredictable c-bombs so just avoid and ignore".

  • freekay on 14/07/2024 - 23:22
    +1

    I prefer the Moe's method
    https://m.youtube.com/shorts/nxyd1eyRTCU

  • Always 2020 on 14/07/2024 - 23:39
    +1

    All shopping malls if they have problems with young troublemakers should have piped classical music playing 24/7.

  • Cusack on 14/07/2024 - 23:51
    +1

    Do not be invisible. Give them the complete opposite of what they want. Next time give them a firm wave and a friendly hello with confidence and keep walking.
    React the same way you would when a pushy salesperson approaches you on the street selling something

  • ChipsChicky on 15/07/2024 - 01:36
    +2

    Keep the top buttons of your shirt open, walk with chest outward - not inward with bent shoulders, wear some rings and chains in the neck.

  • Hufferdun on 15/07/2024 - 03:29
    -8

    Have you considered returning home? I would really not like to be a foreigner in a White nation over the next 10 years or so. Consciousness of Indians is especially high right now. The Saxon is beginning to hate.

    • Eeples on 15/07/2024 - 03:35
      +3

      They are home.

      • Hufferdun on 15/07/2024 - 04:23

        Might want to read OP again, genius

        • Eeples on 15/07/2024 - 04:47
          +2

          Yer, they lived here almost 8 years.

          Looks like home to me.

          • Hufferdun on 15/07/2024 - 06:53
            -3

            @Eeples: Play dumb if it makes you feel woke, you know what I mean.

            • Eeples on 15/07/2024 - 17:37
              -2

              @Hufferdun: I’m glad to be woke. Welcoming, empathetic, kind, thoughtful, respectful of others.

              Take care. (Genuine, not trolling).

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 22:58
      +1

      To be frank, I considered that too, then I thought, little punks going no where in life doing all these sh*tty things. Why would I go back and start from scratch. I am a citizen here 🥳.

  • shreav on 15/07/2024 - 07:22
    +4

    Punch the kid in the face, exert your dominance, then go to prison.

    No more kid bullies, and (bonus) you can join a new gang too.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 22:58

      Hahaha probably come out and become a bikie.

  • techno2000 on 15/07/2024 - 07:38
    +4

    I wish that they used the Rattan cane like in Singapore on these teenagers and broadcast their screams live on TV and Radio. I dont think they will be eager to repeat such behaviour again.

    Its ridiculous to see adults living in fear of children.The news is filled with these types of stories.

    • skillet on 15/07/2024 - 11:39

      Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, some Africa countries and UAE also practice BDSM in the court.
      Totally agreeable if you don't have enough budget for running the juvenile naughty corner and excellent example for domestic law makers.

    • OzBarAnon on 15/07/2024 - 15:54
      +1

      Unfortunately, adults must live in fear because the force-wielding authority (government) sides with the children. It's like that old Twilight Zone episode with that boy that everyone must placate lest he use his mind powers to destroy everyone when upset, except his in this case, his power is having you arrested.

  • NoisyMiner on 15/07/2024 - 08:17
    +1

    Wear an AFL/NRL jersey or a hat, maybe one wear the locals like that team. Basically camouflage.

  • gromit on 15/07/2024 - 08:37
    +3

    PS: if any of them are wearing school uniform or parts of one, take note of that. While police are hamstrung and will do bugger all, the schools (especially the private ones) will bring down hell on them for this sort of behaviour as it hurts their rep. That applies both during and before/after school hours.

  • YodaBaby on 15/07/2024 - 08:44
    +2

    Change your shopping time to when they are less likely to be there to reduce bumping into each other. Try morning shop instead of evening. I don't think teens hang around in the mall in the morning. They probably sleep until late. Or if they are always there, change shopping mall.

    • King Tightarse on 16/07/2024 - 11:06
      +1

      That's a really valid point.
      Little druggie/bong jockey teenagers don't get up before mid-day.

  • jsediv on 15/07/2024 - 11:32
    +1

    Bikies

  • Misha Bakunin on 15/07/2024 - 11:57
    +1

    They are just little *****.

    They probably pick on lots of people, if you were fat it could be that for example.

    If you are outnumbered, best just to ignore, not make eye contact, and walk off. It's nothing personal most likely. You get them in trouble or film them it could come back to bite you badly, just don't.

    Don't do anything to provoke them you were just a random target for that one day.

    I know it's annoying but a few days later you will probably forget about it.

  • dowhatuwant2 on 15/07/2024 - 15:32
    +1

    Pack some muscle on.

  • NocteRegem on 15/07/2024 - 15:55
    +1

    We are living in a time were youth aren't able to realistically afford a property and the entry level job market is being saturated due to immigration, also resulting in wages stagnating. Unfortunately for you a lot of immigration currently is Indians so you will probably cop a lot of the brunt of the frustrations, it's not fair as it is really the government enabling this but probably not a lot you can do other than avoid them until it passes with time and the economy is good again..

    • GettingThePlus190s on 16/07/2024 - 09:36

      Are kids that age (~15?) that conscious of those problems yet?

  • imurgod on 15/07/2024 - 16:03
    +1

    Bullies are generally cowards who feel safe in numbers.

    You're obviously not exactly a "big guy" but if you show them no fear and go on the offensive, you'll see their courage drain from their faces.

    My grandfather taught me that I didn't need to belt the whole pack, just one of the "leaders". Never failed me.

  • Ramrunner on 15/07/2024 - 16:52
    +3

    "Sticks and stones break one's bones, but names will never hurt one"

    Unless there's physical contact or they are in your personal space, just move on. Don't react.

    I have been doing martial arts for a very long time but the number one rule is to avoid conflict.

    These days they are more likely to be carrying knives as well. Letting security know won't hurt.

    • illusion99 on 15/07/2024 - 18:19
      +1

      Is martial arts actually useful in a real life fight?

      • Ramrunner on 15/07/2024 - 18:32
        +1

        Yes it is.

        So is boxing as well if that's preferred.

        I've taken out an assailant's kneecap and my son damaged an assailant's finger (he's a black belt). In my case the attacker came at me so fast I couldn't talk my way out of things and just had to drop him as fast as possible.

        Bouncer saw the whole thing and told me to "just go". Never heard anything about it. This was in 1994. Now I just keep it up for fitness but luckily haven't been attacked since.

        Basically because you do a lot of sparring the body just reacts automatically. Quite handy.

        • illusion99 on 15/07/2024 - 18:39
          +1

          Would it be any different if they came at you with a knife or a bat?

          • Ramrunner on 15/07/2024 - 18:49

            @illusion99: Yes. Definitely more dodge and run. If I couldn't run and I was boxed in for example, with a knife no matter how much self defense I've been taught I'm likely to get cut. Even if the guy is a rank amateur if he starts stabbing randomly it's near impossible to dodge or block. Don't believe the movies :(

            Bats are easier because they are heavier so you have a little more time. I've been taught techniques how to go in close and do some damage without giving them room to swing (it's contrary to what you think but it works), and also how to block safely and even disarm. We do defense with weapons about once every few months at full speed and I'm pretty confident I may have a chance against a bat (not a big chance but a chance).

            Again #1 thing is to get away though. Try to talk your way out of it, run, or even if you have to quick strike to stun them and run.

            It's best not to engage at all. Trying to fight anyone, especially against a weapon is not smart - you're not being a hero by doing it.

            Mind would be different story if I was out with someone that would need protection. Certainly wouldn't run and leave anyone hanging.

            • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 23:05

              @Ramrunner: Just for building confidence i want to join MMA. No revenge fights or kick some one’s ass, just so I know that i can defend myself. I should join before the motivation wears off. Thanks

  • Eeples on 15/07/2024 - 17:46

    Counsellor: The world is full of a$$holes Ray. You do realise that?

    Ray: Yeah. And you know why?

    Counsellor: Why?

    Ray: ‘cause people let them get away with it.

  • TightLikeThisx on 15/07/2024 - 18:32
    +1

    Ignore them but be aware of your surroundings.

    Walk with purpose with an angry face or emotionless face.

  • nikey2k27 on 15/07/2024 - 20:08

    teat them like shit and play the game know at end of the day your going have nice and nice there going drug and drunk (profanity)

  • King Tightarse on 15/07/2024 - 20:40
    +1

    I will try to help a little.
    It is important to not be target. Which is easy to say but if you look scared or react at all from little a-holes, they will feed off it.
    I don't think there is much point telling you to suddenly acquire martial arts skills or boxing. That's not going to happen in time. Equally, ignoring people hanging crap on you is not strategy either because they will likely move into that space and show off for their mates by having a go at you, if they sense it.
    If they do say something you as you walk past, think of it like a mini test nip to see how you react. If you seem unperturbed, there not much value in it for them.
    I would suggest just acknowledged them with nod, zero facial expression and don't break your stride. You acknowledge them and you do not react. No facial expression. Gives them nothing to 'work with'. That is about the best you can do, real world.
    If they do touch you, call security and consider shopping elsewhere.

  • acersaurus on 15/07/2024 - 21:48

    That's a pity that you encountered this - whilst there isn't extensive racism here, there is some.

    I wouldn't make any changes. If it happens again, record them on your mobile and show the police.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 23:09

      In my 9 years of experience in Australia i have never faced racism and bullying behaviour till last year September (i think). Over 20 year olds i dealt with were more mature welcoming and even if they don’t like immigrants never showed on the face.

  • H3R34TH4C0MM3NTS on 16/07/2024 - 02:07
    +1

    It's all about knowing when to pick your battles, Being Sanctimonious in the wrong situation can get you into a pickle. Whilst not ideal, it's important if you are in public space where crazys are looking to pick a fight not , that you not take things personally, and where possible do not engage de-escalate the situation, if that means turning the other cheek so be it.

    And for all you out there with the zErO ToLeRaNcE fOr rAcIsM , yes thats great and all, but if your up against a group of thugs in an unfair fight , thats not the time to be educating these folks and calling them out and provoking a response.

    Now if your 6 feet tall weigh 100 kgs and built like a tank , and some scrawny teenage kid is goading you with racist remarks , all bets are off and feel free to teach him a lesson by pounding him into submission within an inch of the next life.

  • beach bum on 16/07/2024 - 08:26
    +1

    Take up kickboxing ,
    after a few years they won’t bother you as you won’t notice these cockroaches anymore .

  • Auspcbuilda on 16/07/2024 - 09:14
    +2

    Race has nothing to do with it, they just see that your different, small, and are afraid of them, and use that to hassle you, they will do it to other people white/black/orange/green, it does not matter, and not just you. You said yourself, you have been here for almost 10 years and this only has happened to you in a shopping center with kids the past year, so does sounds like your doing ok on the race thing, it's just some mallrat kids. And I am sorry, but if you do live in another part of the world that not where your originally are from, then sadly this might happen now and then, that is just the way it is, it is not just a Australia thing too, it is worldwide, people just want a reason to hate, and to pick the thing that is different to them is the easiest thing to do. The moment you say it is about race, just does not help your problem, you are just creating a divide yourself. They are just saying what they say to get a reaction out of you.
    They are kids, so just ignore them. If you film them it will most likely make them do it more. They are just after attention cause their bad parents do not give it to them.
    Some self defense lesson might not be a bad idea, not to go get into a fight, but to give you some self-confidence, so if something did happen, you will feel that you can at lease defend yourself and just know that you will carry yourself differently and more confident and they might see that your not a push over and leave you alone. If you where Indian and 6 foot 5 and a big guy, I bet they would not say a thing or even look at you twice.

  • Roe Jogan on 16/07/2024 - 10:13

    ole mate has the run ins with a bunch of eshays it seems.. yeh kuunt hide in the bush and when they walk by jump out & hit em with a half brick and run adlay

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 16/07/2024 - 10:29

      Hahahaha. I can literally hear you say it while reading.

  • Real Life Dexter on 16/07/2024 - 10:56

    The way to avoid these clowns is to ensure you are not wearing anything too flashy, not wearing any perfumes or fragrances that could attract those flies.

    Never had a problem with youths except some mentally retarded guy who followed me home and kicked in my fence. Next day he mysteriously disappeared.

  • zorodluffy on 16/07/2024 - 13:08

    Im brown, i normally just get my gf to do make up and lighten my skin.

    Bullying and harrasmeny has stopped, was about 2 or 3 times a month before that.

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