How to Be Invisible for Racist/Bully Teens in Shopping Malls?

tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:21
Last edited 19/07/2024 - 08:24

Hi All,

I am an Indian with average build and 5ft 7in height. I have been in Australia since 2015. Never faced racist or bully behaviour for almost 8 years.

Me and my partner walk in the mall close by in the evening and so some shopping and go home. In last 1 year i have faced some bully behaviour from teens. Flipping off, shouting loud from behind, one even pulled down his pants showing his bum 🤷

I have already stopped having eye contact with anyone i think they are troublesome. Doesn’t feel nice.

What can I do?
Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint? Is it legal ?

Edit 1:
Thank you for your response. I think it is a good thing this happened, i have started concentrating on my physical fitness. I have decided not to give in and change my timings(just not those really late hours), I will still go to the same shopping centre, I will follow some of your advice. I will join MMA to build some confidence.

I will try not get affected by their comments and if they try to go physical, f**k it, I will at least land a couple back.

General Discussion

Comments

    • HeWhoKnows on 14/07/2024 - 08:05
      +38

      Report it to security.
      They would have the survellance footage (hopefully)

      • smartProverble on 14/07/2024 - 14:53
        +5

        …and what would they do?

        Tell them to bugger off, assuming that the teens are still there.

        • Chandler on 15/07/2024 - 13:50
          +12

          Yes.

          Anecdotaly, if it is a major centre and it happens enough they'll end up on a blocklist and will be escorted out every time they show up. Potentially a blocklist for every one of said major centre.

    • The Wololo Wombat on 15/07/2024 - 16:11
      +47

      I get why you made this comment… but as a teacher, I sometimes feel society wants us take the responsibility for problem teen behaviour, instead of the parents. So I negged you lol.

      • thanatos350 on 15/07/2024 - 20:23
        +4

        You probably cop shit if you do take responsibility, too.

      • inasero on 16/07/2024 - 11:28
        +6

        Pretty sure their comment was tongue in cheek.

        But regardless, I'm pretty sure most of the time the parents are part of the problem

        • bp2000 on 17/07/2024 - 08:15
          +1

          I'm pretty sure 100% of the time the teenager is part of the problem.

        • askbargain on 17/07/2024 - 11:06
          +1

          as a teacher, they don't know what a joke is

        • Raj09 on 17/07/2024 - 16:25
          +5

          Parents are the problem. We were caned when we were kids when we misbehaved. Bring back the stick

    • squaredonut on 16/07/2024 - 15:32
      +12

      If only teachers had any authoritative power. Not like I am asking them to give the cane back to the them. But these days and in this generation, kids aren't even scared or look up to law enforcement. The ones who cause trouble know no fear, and I guess it's also no repercussion for anything. I do believe we are raising a generation of people who naturally show no respect for anyone.

      • askbargain on 17/07/2024 - 11:06

        thanks for your comment

  • randomusername2017 on 13/07/2024 - 22:27
    +13

    Get a Pauline Hanson mask, most people in Canberra have learnt to ignore her.

    • pharkurnell on 13/07/2024 - 22:33
      +1

      Sadly your right

      • randomusername2017 on 14/07/2024 - 08:25
        +24

        If it was India, i had my gang

        Within your insight you should find a solution 🤔

        • JDMcarfan on 15/07/2024 - 15:57

          Royal Enfield's!

      • RTX9090Ti on 14/07/2024 - 11:26
        -3

        Convert your height to cm first to 'blend' in with the metric system.

        • ripprind on 18/07/2024 - 19:48
          +1

          same, these numbers give no information to me and I'm not keen enough to look it up

      • BoltThrower on 14/07/2024 - 14:53
        +4

        Start a new one. We'll receive orange gang colours. Bargain in, bargain out.

      • Juice-Wa on 17/07/2024 - 15:09

        If it was India, i had my gang, i would confront someone who tries to bully me

        A gang that participates in intimidating behavior? Can't say I've heard of a gang that doesn't participate in varying levels of bullying.

        Flipping off, shouting loud from behind, one even pulled down his pants showing his bum

        just sounds like disrespectful, fatherless behavior from a couple teens rather than racism

    • Monad on 14/07/2024 - 11:46
      +13

      While you are correct, however if you're part of the majority in Australia: white, normalish weight, height, no obvious disability or disfigurement, you'll be far less likely to encounter bullying.

      • DingoBilly on 14/07/2024 - 12:19
        +55

        People like to just say suck it up when they don't experience any bullying themselves or are the ones making the jokes in the first place. Like "Sexism doesn't affect me, so clearly it's not an issue!"

        • djsweet on 14/07/2024 - 14:16
          +15

          No offence mate, but how would you know. Loads of people cop abuse all the time and don’t whinge about it. Particularly if it’s just verbal, low iq garbage from juvenile delinquents in a shopping centre. Who cares. Move on. People will pick on anything. Those dumb ****s are just looking for the lowest hanging fruit to pick on.

          • ItsMeAgro on 17/07/2024 - 11:54
            +3

            @djsweet:

            Loads of people cop abuse all the time and don’t whinge about it

            Not everyone can just laugh it off.

            Some people are just way more sensitive to this than others.

            On top of that, some know, firsthand, that a gang of teens shouting abuse at them is often quickly followed by life-threatening violent assault, or months/years of extended/vicious/degrading bullying and harassment.

            It's probably the most common form of PTSD, at least in Australia.

            It's not just an annoyance to them, they'll feel panic and stress for hours or days after.

          • crentist on 17/07/2024 - 12:16
            +6

            @djsweet:

            No offence mate, but how would you know.

            The dismissal of concerns, and refusal to be empathetic with your suggestion gives it away.

            Sure people need to handle their problems. Sucking it up is a solution, but it means accepting the problem as it is without trying to improve it first.

            Asking for advice is a valid way to try and improve things.
            Calling them whingers is a way to invalidate that and pretend it creates a problem for you.

      • TrustNoBody on 14/07/2024 - 18:34
        +1

        depends what area you actually live at

      • Silentin on 16/07/2024 - 11:45
        +3

        Kids are little sh*ts. I (grown man) have been 'bullied' on the train by teenage girls and my (caucasian) wife had random kids make fun of her for being European. I mean seriously, Aussie kids are racist against white people? These were northern beaches/north shore brats in Sydney.

      • ripprind on 18/07/2024 - 19:53

        depends where in Australia you live, how white is white. I have not lived in a Sydney suburb where "white" is clear majority.

    • MessyG on 16/07/2024 - 11:22
      +3

      Get back to last century with your sticks and stones…

  • Wiadro on 13/07/2024 - 22:30

    what malls are you going to?

    ive never had issues with anyone at the mall.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:35
      +12

      Good for you. Westfield, southpoint in canberra. Like i said i never had issues for years.

      • Wiadro on 13/07/2024 - 22:43
        +5

        a few tips here

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkOQWwnPSmw

      • titewod on 15/07/2024 - 07:12
        -3

        Ahh, there's your problem. Try Woden or the Canberra Centre. Don't go to Belconnen, though. It has a similar clientele to Tuggeranong.

      • aboogee on 17/07/2024 - 13:24

        Probably social issues going up with cost of living.

      • Ten on 17/07/2024 - 15:42

        Did Westfield buy it recently?

    • Roman Sandstorm on 15/07/2024 - 12:34
      +6

      @wiadro Seriously dude?

      ive never had issues with anyone at the mall.

      Oh, because you have never experienced something, it doesn't exist?

      You've never had cancer, therefore no-one has.

      You've never crashed your car, so therefore no other person ever has.

      Bucket on your head avatar is appropriate.

      [Please excuse my vitriol if you were simply being sarcastic and ironic and I've missed the point.]

      • TheThoughtFraud on 15/07/2024 - 21:28
        -1

        I dont think @wiadro was implying that.

        Probably ask for clarification before you type such a long response on an assumption.

        • MessyG on 16/07/2024 - 11:23
          +1

          It's such a blind comment though. It's like people who say things like racism isn't real because they've never seen it. Like congratulations, you're lucky enough not to be picked on for something.

          • TheThoughtFraud on 16/07/2024 - 21:08

            @MessyG: Sure. That's one interpretation. @Wiadro never explicitly said anything along the lines of what you've inferred. Without further context, it's ambiguous.

            Imagine a different but similar scenario. Somebody posts and says, "When I often go to the beach, I have trouble with sharks".

            Somebody else replies, "What beaches are you going to? I've never had any issues with sharks"

            Do you interpret this as, "this person is saying that sharks are never at beaches" or "this person is trying to clarify where OP is encountering the sharks because they rarely or never see them"

            Admittedly, either one can be true, but I believe you should give people the benefit of the doubt. Ask for clarification before launching into a tirade.

            • crentist on 17/07/2024 - 12:35

              @TheThoughtFraud: This long tirade doesn't clarify much. You've just restated the original ambiguity.

              Why does the second person want to know where the sharks are? To avoid them? Useful info, but they haven't encountered sharks, so it's not an issue for them. It's also not helpful to the person dealing with sharks, for whom they are unavoidable.
              Or were they going to advise other beaches to go to? Why not lead with that?

              Either way, the location of the mall makes zero difference to the original question.

              • TheThoughtFraud on 18/07/2024 - 01:23

                @crentist: If you want to know why, ask Wiadro.

                Trying to deduce what somebody truly means without sufficient information (when you can just ask them) is unnecessarily putting yourself and others through mental gymnastics. After all of that, you're just guessing.

                Could people be clearer when they communicate? Sure! However its very normal and common for people to say things that aren't always clear but you just ask clarifying questions and then the conversation continues.

  • El cheepo on 13/07/2024 - 22:41
    +25

    I have already stopped having eye contact with anyone i think they are troublesome.

    If you want to avoid trouble, this is a good start.

    If you see them first, just keep distance between yourself and ignore anything they say or do if it isn’t posing a real threat.
    Don’t engage or retaliate, ignore and walk on.

    What can I do?
    Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint?

    I can almost guarantee if you tried to film them, the situation would escalate.
    You can complain to security discretely though, they usually would move on annoying teenagers.

    Or alternatively, bikies.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:42

      Sounds like a reasonable plan. Thanks

  • iguana on 13/07/2024 - 22:42
    +7

    Go to another mall in a better suburb.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 23:08
      +9

      That one is the closest. We decided to finish shopping before 7:30PM. Looks like all the evil comes to mall past 8PM

      • Forfiet on 14/07/2024 - 08:59
        +13

        I hate to say it…..But this is mostly likely exacerbated due to the time you are shopping there….. Late shift and deadbeats are the most common at that time, not granny and the little tikes….

      • skillet on 15/07/2024 - 11:29
        +2

        School holiday

  • BoltThrower on 13/07/2024 - 22:44
    +22

    They're goading you, don't take the bait. Let mall security know next time you're there. Holding a camera up and recording them would provoke them. Just let the cameras in the mall do their job. If it's too late and they're approaching you, then record them. In a totally unrelated subject, mall food is so bland these days, and sometimes you need something spicy to carry around in your bag.

    • BullishBuyer on 13/07/2024 - 22:53
      +4

      the good old pepper spray?

    • Gervais fanboy on 14/07/2024 - 15:42
      +2

      Security and cops are both useless unless an actual assault has taken place..
      These wastemen are often known to the mall staff and security, as they are always lingering around but no one does anything, tbh no one can do anything.
      Op just needs to start training and be in a good shape.

      • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:18

        Do they still carry knives? Or has that stopped now due to those detectors

        • Gervais fanboy on 14/07/2024 - 20:23

          Tbh none of my local shopping centres have a metal detector or even a security guard at the entrance.. even at Chadtsone(VIC), no one frisks you or scans you for weapons etc.

          Having said that, I have been bothered about by some of these roaches before but I have never actually seen them whip out a weapon on me so I honestly don’t know.

    • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:16

      What cuisine u eating?

  • Cluster on 13/07/2024 - 23:11
    +46

    You're dealing with the TikTok generation. They're trying to goad you into a reaction. If you show anger, are upset, or try to confront them, they'll get what they want as they whip out their phones.

    The teens are seeing so called 'prank' videos where the goal is to harass or even physically assault someone to get a reaction.

    I don't know what the solution is. The behaviour you're dealing with is completely unacceptable. Maybe find the shopper center's managers office and have a word to them on what's happening.

    • skillet on 15/07/2024 - 11:30

      There might be a hidden person with camera in place already.

    • rentonc on 15/07/2024 - 15:28

      I suppose that if you tell management that this activity is pushing you to shop elsewhere, that may be what they need before they decide to act. Would help if many shoppers said the same.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 05:23
      +6

      What do you mean? I use both synonymously but i guess they both are different.

      • DingoBilly on 14/07/2024 - 07:05
        +16

        It's irrelevant which term you use, I wouldn't worry about it.

      • morse on 14/07/2024 - 08:21
        +4

        In Australia we tend to use Mall for area with outdoor areas that connect shops like Warringah Mall or Rundle Mall. But then again we also use plaza for the same kind of set up. People will know what you mean if you use shopping mall or centre. Shopping centre will make you sound more Australian if that’s something you want.

        • larndis on 14/07/2024 - 08:34
          +10

          In Canberra our first indoor shopping centres were named Monaro Mall and Belconnen Mall, so the term gets used a lot here.

      • Boomstick on 14/07/2024 - 11:33
        +13

        Ignore @Mechz seems to be one of the said teenagers goading.

      • Archi on 15/07/2024 - 08:41
        +4

        looks like one of your bullies followed you here

    • Monad on 14/07/2024 - 11:51

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rundle_Mall, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westfield_Warringah_Mall

  • Benoffie on 13/07/2024 - 23:54
    +11

    Doubt it's racist, just teenage prcks. Try walking down Rundle Mall in Adelaide atm…

    https://www.abc.net.au/article/103588936

    It's been ongoing for months. And honestly, that's nothing. Marion Westfield shut down after gangs going at each other too.

    https://youtu.be/VOO4pT6Ucbg?si=bxMle8ivsDBJtJvG

    But then I think, glad Im not in Townsville 🤣🤣

    People's solution has been simple - shop elsewhere.

    • mountaineer on 14/07/2024 - 12:26
      +2

      Don't downplay it just yet, does this happen to other races, maybe not overt racisim but still seems to be quite likely racism there and OP is right to feel concerned.

      • gromit on 14/07/2024 - 12:59
        +13

        It happens to practically anyone. If you are black they will target that, if you are female they will target that, if you are fat they will target that, if you are old they will go for that. yes the way they do it is racist but it isn't specifically about race, anyone they can goad is a target. They are inherently cowards that would run the first sign of any real trouble.

        • TrustNoBody on 14/07/2024 - 18:38

          depends on what nationality as i think indians are picked on more then say islanders or aboriginals..

      • Benoffie on 14/07/2024 - 15:42
        +14

        Do people get harassed by gangs of teens in malls?

        Oh puhlease, come on!

        Everyone is fair game to these prcks. And whilst in this case they may have been white, it isnt a rule. Every race has sh!t kids with useless and ineffectual parents dealing with gangs.

        Tying it to race misses the bigger issue of juvenile delinquency and the complete inability of our society to manage them.

        • Gervais fanboy on 15/07/2024 - 09:22

          🙇 Brilliantly put

        • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 22:49
          +1

          Agree with you on this. Bullies in all races. Here i am facing these kids.
          We avoid problematic areas, but looks like problems creeping into our areas.

          • xsacha on 16/07/2024 - 05:31
            +1

            @tobuyRnot2buy: Type of kids you're talking about may appear like they're picking on your race but they just want a reaction. Ultimately all bullies do. They pick on something they think you are sensitive about.
            Even white, tall, good looking people will be targeted. I'm white and have been targeted in this way. As they dont believe I will be sensitive about my race, they would usually comment on something I have bought, my hair or the clothes I wear instead. Depending on the suburb, place and time it can be very common.
            This is the bullies only form of excitement and escape from their sad real life.
            If you aren't bothered or affected, they lose all power.

    • nikey2k27 on 16/07/2024 - 19:45

      Townsville not too bad i aim not to shop after 3pm and on weekend

  • JimmyF on 14/07/2024 - 00:08
    +4

    Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint? Is it legal ?
    from teens

    Welcome to teenagers…… It isn't illegal to be a little sh!t sadly.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 05:21
      +1

      Your initial statements make sense. If you were born around here may be the behaviour make sense to you and doesn’t affect you. Makes me feel helpless not being able say anything back for bullying behaviour. I am assuming you are a mom to a teenager.
      Note: this is not some cleaver come back, just the way you took the teenager's side and how you don’t want them to be in trouble.
      I will take your rent a cop advise.

      • AustriaBargain on 14/07/2024 - 06:48
        +3

        I'm sure you get stupid teens in India too. If they are in a group there's really nothing you can say back, they will laugh or make more jokes to impress their friends. Why do you even care what teenagers think of you. Not all teenagers are like that, but the ones that go out roaming in packs are more likely to be idiots. They might be armed with knives, it happens, so don't engage them anyway.

        • randomusername2017 on 14/07/2024 - 08:28
          -2

          I'm sure you get stupid teens in India

          No ..they export them to Australia on student visas'….

        • morse on 14/07/2024 - 08:31

          OP will know more than me, but I think in India if teenagers were behaving like this they’d be put very swiftly in-line by the local community. I remember being in a restaurant one night in marrickville and a teenager ran in being chased by two Indian men with wooden batons. They were accusing him of shop lifting, which he looked like he did, the Vietnamese Australian restaurant owner provided mediation and stood between both parties and the teen was asking for cops to be called at that point and he was genuinely scared. The Indian guys wanted him brought out so they could deal with him themselves.

          • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 09:25
            +1

            @morse: Yes, swift justice there. Even though it is nit a good way either.

            • leiiv on 14/07/2024 - 10:22
              -1

              @tobuyRnot2buy: I wouldn't say it's "justice", law of the jungle..

              • CocaKoala on 14/07/2024 - 14:42
                +2

                @leiiv: Indeed. Proper justice is when we throw a whistleblower on jail for outing war crimes.

                • leiiv on 14/07/2024 - 20:33

                  @CocaKoala: That's no justice either, the law of the jungle is universal, just with different aspects, layers, and degrees.
                  At the very least, the whistleblower don't get mauled by batons here.

                  • CocaKoala on 14/07/2024 - 23:46

                    @leiiv:

                    At the very least, the whistleblower don't get mauled by batons here.

                    Ah, yes. The "aspects and layers, and degrees" of law that somehow makes the complete destruction of a whistleblower for the heinous act of talking about the war crimes that we are funding with our taxes. It's indeed more justified than a couple of guys wanting to beat up a teenager for stealing their possessions. God forbid the teenagers learn there are consequences for their criminal actions. Whoa, that is the law of the jungle. Kangaroo court.

                    • leiiv on 15/07/2024 - 08:26

                      @CocaKoala: I think you misunderstood my point. Law of the jungle means that the stronger, the more powerful, is the winner, the law it self. And that applies to every country in the world, to some varying extent. Even in developed countries, if you were against the interest of very powerful entities in the court, you are very much screwed. I never said that one is more justified than the other, just different. But both are no justice. And it's not like the indians don't prosecute their whistleblower too.

              • AustriaBargain on 14/07/2024 - 20:45

                @leiiv: I remember reading about a doctor in the UK being attacked or maybe killed because some vigilantes didn't understand the difference between a paediatrician and a paedophile. People are dumb.

        • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:25

          Do they still carry knives with those new detectors now

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