How to Be Invisible for Racist/Bully Teens in Shopping Malls?

tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:21
Last edited 13/07/2024 - 22:26

Hi All,

I am an Indian with average build and 5ft 7in height. I have been in Australia since 2015. Never faced racist or bully behaviour for almost 8 years.

Me and my partner walk in the mall close by in the evening and so some shopping and go home. In last 1 year i have faced some bully behaviour from teens. Flipping off, shouting loud from behind, one even pulled down his pants showing his bum 🤷

I have already stopped having eye contact with anyone i think they are troublesome. Doesn’t feel nice.

What can I do?
Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint? Is it legal ?

General Discussion

Comments

  • askbargain on 13/07/2024 - 22:24

    tell their teachers

    • HeWhoKnows on 14/07/2024 - 08:05
      +25

      Report it to security.
      They would have the survellance footage (hopefully)

      • ram4ram on 14/07/2024 - 14:53
        +4

        …and what would they do?

        Tell them to bugger off, assuming that the teens are still there.

        • Chandler on 15/07/2024 - 13:50
          +2

          Yes.

          Anecdotaly, if it is a major centre and it happens enough they'll end up on a blocklist and will be escorted out every time they show up. Potentially a blocklist for every one of said major centre.

    • The Wololo Wombat on 15/07/2024 - 16:11
      +12

      I get why you made this comment… but as a teacher, I sometimes feel society wants us take the responsibility for problem teen behaviour, instead of the parents. So I negged you lol.

      • thanatos350 on 15/07/2024 - 20:23
        +2

        You probably cop shit if you do take responsibility, too.

  • randomusername2017 on 13/07/2024 - 22:27
    +8

    Get a Pauline Hanson mask, most people in Canberra have learnt to ignore her.

    • pharkurnell on 13/07/2024 - 22:33
      +1

      Sadly your right

      • randomusername2017 on 14/07/2024 - 08:25
        +18

        If it was India, i had my gang

        Within your insight you should find a solution 🤔

        • JDMcarfan on 15/07/2024 - 15:57
          +1

          Royal Enfield's!

      • RTX9090Ti on 14/07/2024 - 11:26
        +1

        Convert your height to cm first to 'blend' in with the metric system.

      • BoltThrower on 14/07/2024 - 14:53
        +4

        Start a new one. We'll receive orange gang colours. Bargain in, bargain out.

    • Monad on 14/07/2024 - 11:46
      +4

      While you are correct, however if you're part of the majority in Australia: white, normalish weight, height, no obvious disability or disfigurement, you'll be far less likely to encounter bullying.

      • DingoBilly on 14/07/2024 - 12:19
        +28

        People like to just say suck it up when they don't experience any bullying themselves or are the ones making the jokes in the first place. Like "Sexism doesn't affect me, so clearly it's not an issue!"

        • djsweet on 14/07/2024 - 14:16
          +12

          No offence mate, but how would you know. Loads of people cop abuse all the time and don’t whinge about it. Particularly if it’s just verbal, low iq garbage from juvenile delinquents in a shopping centre. Who cares. Move on. People will pick on anything. Those dumb ****s are just looking for the lowest hanging fruit to pick on.

      • TrustNoBody on 14/07/2024 - 18:34
        +1

        depends what area you actually live at

  • Wiadro on 13/07/2024 - 22:30

    what malls are you going to?

    ive never had issues with anyone at the mall.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:35
      +10

      Good for you. Westfield, southpoint in canberra. Like i said i never had issues for years.

    • Roman Sandstorm on 15/07/2024 - 12:34
      +3

      @wiadro Seriously dude?

      ive never had issues with anyone at the mall.

      Oh, because you have never experienced something, it doesn't exist?

      You've never had cancer, therefore no-one has.

      You've never crashed your car, so therefore no other person ever has.

      Bucket on your head avatar is appropriate.

      [Please excuse my vitriol if you were simply being sarcastic and ironic and I've missed the point.]

      • Wiadro on 15/07/2024 - 12:49
        -7

        yes you have "missed the point"

      • TheThoughtFraud on 15/07/2024 - 21:28

        I dont think @wiadro was implying that.

        Probably ask for clarification before you type such a long response on an assumption.

  • El cheepo on 13/07/2024 - 22:41
    +19

    I have already stopped having eye contact with anyone i think they are troublesome.

    If you want to avoid trouble, this is a good start.

    If you see them first, just keep distance between yourself and ignore anything they say or do if it isn’t posing a real threat.
    Don’t engage or retaliate, ignore and walk on.

    What can I do?
    Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint?

    I can almost guarantee if you tried to film them, the situation would escalate.
    You can complain to security discretely though, they usually would move on annoying teenagers.

    Or alternatively, bikies.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 22:42

      Sounds like a reasonable plan. Thanks

  • iguana on 13/07/2024 - 22:42
    +5

    Go to another mall in a better suburb.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 13/07/2024 - 23:08
      +8

      That one is the closest. We decided to finish shopping before 7:30PM. Looks like all the evil comes to mall past 8PM

      • Forfiet on 14/07/2024 - 08:59
        +10

        I hate to say it…..But this is mostly likely exacerbated due to the time you are shopping there….. Late shift and deadbeats are the most common at that time, not granny and the little tikes….

      • skillet on 15/07/2024 - 11:29
        +1

        School holiday

  • BoltThrower on 13/07/2024 - 22:44
    +16

    They're goading you, don't take the bait. Let mall security know next time you're there. Holding a camera up and recording them would provoke them. Just let the cameras in the mall do their job. If it's too late and they're approaching you, then record them. In a totally unrelated subject, mall food is so bland these days, and sometimes you need something spicy to carry around in your bag.

    • BullishBuyer on 13/07/2024 - 22:53
      +2

      the good old pepper spray?

    • Gervais fanboy on 14/07/2024 - 15:42
      +2

      Security and cops are both useless unless an actual assault has taken place..
      These wastemen are often known to the mall staff and security, as they are always lingering around but no one does anything, tbh no one can do anything.
      Op just needs to start training and be in a good shape.

      • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:18

        Do they still carry knives? Or has that stopped now due to those detectors

        • Gervais fanboy on 14/07/2024 - 20:23

          Tbh none of my local shopping centres have a metal detector or even a security guard at the entrance.. even at Chadtsone(VIC), no one frisks you or scans you for weapons etc.

          Having said that, I have been bothered about by some of these roaches before but I have never actually seen them whip out a weapon on me so I honestly don’t know.

    • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:16

      What cuisine u eating?

  • Cluster on 13/07/2024 - 23:11
    +34

    You're dealing with the TikTok generation. They're trying to goad you into a reaction. If you show anger, are upset, or try to confront them, they'll get what they want as they whip out their phones.

    The teens are seeing so called 'prank' videos where the goal is to harass or even physically assault someone to get a reaction.

    I don't know what the solution is. The behaviour you're dealing with is completely unacceptable. Maybe find the shopper center's managers office and have a word to them on what's happening.

    • skillet on 15/07/2024 - 11:30

      There might be a hidden person with camera in place already.

    • rentonc on 15/07/2024 - 15:28

      I suppose that if you tell management that this activity is pushing you to shop elsewhere, that may be what they need before they decide to act. Would help if many shoppers said the same.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 05:23
      +6

      What do you mean? I use both synonymously but i guess they both are different.

      • DingoBilly on 14/07/2024 - 07:05
        +15

        It's irrelevant which term you use, I wouldn't worry about it.

      • morse on 14/07/2024 - 08:21
        +5

        In Australia we tend to use Mall for area with outdoor areas that connect shops like Warringah Mall or Rundle Mall. But then again we also use plaza for the same kind of set up. People will know what you mean if you use shopping mall or centre. Shopping centre will make you sound more Australian if that’s something you want.

        • larndis on 14/07/2024 - 08:34
          +7

          In Canberra our first indoor shopping centres were named Monaro Mall and Belconnen Mall, so the term gets used a lot here.

      • Boomstick on 14/07/2024 - 11:33
        +12

        Ignore @Mechz seems to be one of the said teenagers goading.

      • Archi on 15/07/2024 - 08:41
        +4

        looks like one of your bullies followed you here

    • Monad on 14/07/2024 - 11:51

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rundle_Mall, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westfield_Warringah_Mall

  • Benoffie on 13/07/2024 - 23:54
    +9

    Doubt it's racist, just teenage prcks. Try walking down Rundle Mall in Adelaide atm…

    https://www.abc.net.au/article/103588936

    It's been ongoing for months. And honestly, that's nothing. Marion Westfield shut down after gangs going at each other too.

    https://youtu.be/VOO4pT6Ucbg?si=bxMle8ivsDBJtJvG

    But then I think, glad Im not in Townsville 🤣🤣

    People's solution has been simple - shop elsewhere.

    • mountaineer on 14/07/2024 - 12:26
      +3

      Don't downplay it just yet, does this happen to other races, maybe not overt racisim but still seems to be quite likely racism there and OP is right to feel concerned.

      • gromit on 14/07/2024 - 12:59
        +9

        It happens to practically anyone. If you are black they will target that, if you are female they will target that, if you are fat they will target that, if you are old they will go for that. yes the way they do it is racist but it isn't specifically about race, anyone they can goad is a target. They are inherently cowards that would run the first sign of any real trouble.

        • TrustNoBody on 14/07/2024 - 18:38
          +1

          depends on what nationality as i think indians are picked on more then say islanders or aboriginals..

      • Benoffie on 14/07/2024 - 15:42
        +9

        Do people get harassed by gangs of teens in malls?

        Oh puhlease, come on!

        Everyone is fair game to these prcks. And whilst in this case they may have been white, it isnt a rule. Every race has sh!t kids with useless and ineffectual parents dealing with gangs.

        Tying it to race misses the bigger issue of juvenile delinquency and the complete inability of our society to manage them.

        • Gervais fanboy on 15/07/2024 - 09:22

          🙇 Brilliantly put

        • tobuyRnot2buy on 15/07/2024 - 22:49

          Agree with you on this. Bullies in all races. Here i am facing these kids.
          We avoid problematic areas, but looks like problems creeping into our areas.

          • xsacha on 16/07/2024 - 05:31

            @tobuyRnot2buy: Type of kids you're talking about may appear like they're picking on your race but they just want a reaction. Ultimately all bullies do. They pick on something they think you are sensitive about.
            Even white, tall, good looking people will be targeted. I'm white and have been targeted in this way. As they dont believe I will be sensitive about my race, they would usually comment on something I have bought, my hair or the clothes I wear instead. Depending on the suburb, place and time it can be very common.
            This is the bullies only form of excitement and escape from their sad real life.
            If you aren't bothered or affected, they lose all power.

  • JimmyF on 14/07/2024 - 00:08
    +2

    Can i film them behaving this way and raise a complaint? Is it legal ?
    from teens

    Welcome to teenagers…… It isn't illegal to be a little sh!t sadly.

    • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 05:21
      +3

      Your initial statements make sense. If you were born around here may be the behaviour make sense to you and doesn’t affect you. Makes me feel helpless not being able say anything back for bullying behaviour. I am assuming you are a mom to a teenager.
      Note: this is not some cleaver come back, just the way you took the teenager's side and how you don’t want them to be in trouble.
      I will take your rent a cop advise.

      • AustriaBargain on 14/07/2024 - 06:48
        +2

        I'm sure you get stupid teens in India too. If they are in a group there's really nothing you can say back, they will laugh or make more jokes to impress their friends. Why do you even care what teenagers think of you. Not all teenagers are like that, but the ones that go out roaming in packs are more likely to be idiots. They might be armed with knives, it happens, so don't engage them anyway.

        • randomusername2017 on 14/07/2024 - 08:28
          -1

          I'm sure you get stupid teens in India

          No ..they export them to Australia on student visas'….

        • morse on 14/07/2024 - 08:31
          +1

          OP will know more than me, but I think in India if teenagers were behaving like this they’d be put very swiftly in-line by the local community. I remember being in a restaurant one night in marrickville and a teenager ran in being chased by two Indian men with wooden batons. They were accusing him of shop lifting, which he looked like he did, the Vietnamese Australian restaurant owner provided mediation and stood between both parties and the teen was asking for cops to be called at that point and he was genuinely scared. The Indian guys wanted him brought out so they could deal with him themselves.

          • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 09:25
            +1

            @morse: Yes, swift justice there. Even though it is nit a good way either.

            • leiiv on 14/07/2024 - 10:22
              -1

              @tobuyRnot2buy: I wouldn't say it's "justice", law of the jungle..

              • CocaKoala on 14/07/2024 - 14:42
                +1

                @leiiv: Indeed. Proper justice is when we throw a whistleblower on jail for outing war crimes.

                • leiiv on 14/07/2024 - 20:33

                  @CocaKoala: That's no justice either, the law of the jungle is universal, just with different aspects, layers, and degrees.
                  At the very least, the whistleblower don't get mauled by batons here.

                  • CocaKoala on 14/07/2024 - 23:46

                    @leiiv:

                    At the very least, the whistleblower don't get mauled by batons here.

                    Ah, yes. The "aspects and layers, and degrees" of law that somehow makes the complete destruction of a whistleblower for the heinous act of talking about the war crimes that we are funding with our taxes. It's indeed more justified than a couple of guys wanting to beat up a teenager for stealing their possessions. God forbid the teenagers learn there are consequences for their criminal actions. Whoa, that is the law of the jungle. Kangaroo court.

                    • leiiv on 15/07/2024 - 08:26

                      @CocaKoala: I think you misunderstood my point. Law of the jungle means that the stronger, the more powerful, is the winner, the law it self. And that applies to every country in the world, to some varying extent. Even in developed countries, if you were against the interest of very powerful entities in the court, you are very much screwed. I never said that one is more justified than the other, just different. But both are no justice. And it's not like the indians don't prosecute their whistleblower too.

              • AustriaBargain on 14/07/2024 - 20:45

                @leiiv: I remember reading about a doctor in the UK being attacked or maybe killed because some vigilantes didn't understand the difference between a paediatrician and a paedophile. People are dumb.

        • ATTS on 14/07/2024 - 20:25

          Do they still carry knives with those new detectors now

    • CheapandUsed on 14/07/2024 - 08:24
      +10

      Don't try to get the police involved every time you feel uncomfortable.

      Nah, if they are being racist call attention to it and get that stamped out.. We don't need another generation with a broad racist undercurrent.

      • EightImmortals on 14/07/2024 - 09:18

        Unless you are white of course and then pointing out racism doesn't work.

        (OK I see the OP is Indian, might be worth a shot, unless the teenagers are not white in which case I'm not sure which way it would go. )

        • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 09:26
          +2

          All the incidents, teens were white. I am not saying all the white teens are bad. I have interacted with few teens who are really good and respectful.

          • EightImmortals on 14/07/2024 - 09:40

            @tobuyRnot2buy: In that case you could probably make life hard for them if you wanted to. If they are not being physically threatening I wouldn't be too worried. But I'm also prepared to defend myself if attacked.

        • GrueHunter on 14/07/2024 - 15:46
          +2

          My, @EightImmortals, are you still being oppressed by…I forget, who is it this week? How ever do you cope?

          • EightImmortals on 14/07/2024 - 15:54

            @GrueHunter: Most of them are just idiots who make inane comments so it's not a big deal. :)

    • Sinnerator on 14/07/2024 - 08:38
      -5

      just bend over and take it???

    • Ughhh on 14/07/2024 - 08:55
      +7

      You realise that people have taken their own life because of bullies. Chances are, they have victims at school. Telling a a victim to move on is easier said than done.

      Part of me would want to tell the bum flashers friends that he still has crap on his bum and ask if he has passed toilet training. Cause some kind of fight inbetween themselves.

      If you ever talk back to bullies, make sure you do it in confidence.

    • Gervais fanboy on 14/07/2024 - 15:59

      You lost me at ‘middle age’ but otherwise agreed with most of what you said there

  • AustriaBargain on 14/07/2024 - 03:14
    +3

    Teens will bully anyone who is different. Just ignore it. Like water off a duck's back. Mere words and gestures shouldn't bother you at all, not from kids anyway.

    • kiitos on 14/07/2024 - 09:03
      +1

      All true, though often ignoring it is easier said than done, even after the event.

  • mitchalbrown on 14/07/2024 - 08:19
    +18

    I have no suggestions but I do just wanna say sorry this is happening to you. Racism sucks in all its forms but the worst is when it’s obvious in public and done in a way to try to belittle you and make you feel like you don’t belong.
    Just know that these kids do it not because they are tough or super cool… they do it because they are insecure and deeply terrified they will be discovered as scared and confused frauds who don’t know anything… one day, if they get themselves back on track they will reflect on these times with deep regret and shame, if they don’t, then they are probably still living a sad life as adults, scared and still terrified people will recognise them as frauds and failures.

    So in essence friend, you’ve already won. Walk with your head held high and pity them for feeling so worthless that they need to try and drag you down to their level.

  • BrettSh on 14/07/2024 - 08:25
    +9

    Hi tobuyRnot2buy,

    I'm sorry (and angry) to hear about the negative experiences you've been facing recently. You have the right to feel respected and safe in your community. Here are a few steps you can consider:

    Document the Incidents: If you feel comfortable, discreetly recording or taking notes of these incidents can be helpful. Make sure to capture details like the time, date, location, and descriptions of the individuals involved. This information can be useful if you decide to report the incidents.

    Report the Behavior: You can report this behavior to the mall security or local authorities. Most shopping centers have security personnel who can address these issues. Additionally, contacting the police, especially if the behavior escalates, is a good step. Provide them with any documentation you have.

    Know Your Rights: While in Australia this sort of behaviour is actually a breach of the law, some police are less understanding and conscientious than others. Sometimes you need to be politely persistent.

    Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or community groups about what you're experiencing. They can offer support and advice. There might also be local organizations that deal with bullying or racism that can provide assistance.

    Avoid Confrontation: It's good that you are avoiding eye contact and not engaging with troublesome individuals. Staying safe is the priority.

    Remember, you have the right to feel safe and respected. Don't hesitate to seek help and support when needed.

    Take care and stay safe.

  • Cheaplikethebird on 14/07/2024 - 08:50
    +3

    You need to perfect the act of not being bothered. Trying to avoid eye contact is only flagging yourself as a target.

  • EightImmortals on 14/07/2024 - 09:16
    +4

    Take up martial arts, if you can't avoid the world idiots you might as well be prepared for them.

  • tobuyRnot2buy on 14/07/2024 - 09:31
    +3

    Thank you All. My take away from here is to
    shop early,
    avoid them and the problematic areas,
    Call mall security if I am facing them.
    Probably will grow a bushy beard and look mean so at least some will be deterred 😎

    • Ughhh on 14/07/2024 - 10:13
      +3

      Probably will grow a bushy beard and look mean

      Work on body language and and posture.

    • Kategs on 14/07/2024 - 10:29
      +10

      As an Australian of anglo-saxon heritage and a parent to 3 teens and a youngster, I am so sorry that you are finding yourself experiencing what you are. Its plain wrong, reflective of a big societal issue and not something you should be finding yourself needing to deal with - let alone on your own. Every human in Australia deserves to feel safe, accepted and free to go about their everyday lives regardless of their race, colour, size, gender, sexuality etc (as well as their facial hair status LOL!). I wish there was more I could say / do to support you other than to let you know that your post touched me and I'm sorry.

    • munecito on 14/07/2024 - 10:38

      Work on real skills, not on a costume. Join a MMA, boxing, martial arts gym.

      By the reasoning that everyone with a beard is mean, then every crossdresser is a woman.

  • susannetsv on 14/07/2024 - 10:05
    +4

    This probably has nothing to do with you being Indian, :-) from time to time we all have to put up with these people looking for some cheap entertainment.

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