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Home Paternity Test Kit (1x Child and 1x Alleged Father) $160 + $30 Shipping ($0 Brisbane C&C) @ DNAQ

2101

Esteemed Cuckolds of Ozbargain. My client told me he only paid $160 for a DNA Q Paternity Test. I remember these things costing $700 plus the last time a client ordered one , that was about 10 years ago. Maybe the scientists are child labourers. I don't know.

SCHEDULE OF FEES
Categories:
All
Standard Paternity Test $160.00AUD
(1x Alleged Father, 1x Child)

Additional persons (each)$110.00AUD
(i.e. Additional Child, Additional Alleged Father)

I once had a client who had about 3 potential fathers tested for paternity. She never found the father and she was deported back to the UK.

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Comments

  • +1

    Get 2 dna ancestry kits - less suspicious =)

  • a good piece of evidence to file a lawsuit against the IVF centre that did the embryo transfer.

  • +3

    Have a + just for the opening sentence 🙏

  • +6

    How much for maternity test kit?

  • +2

    A lot of hoes be bangin' in ten years

  • +1

    Are these regulated in Australia? How do we know this company isn't like this?

    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/paternity-tests-dna-1.7164707

    ("Canadian DNA lab knew its paternity tests identified the wrong dads, but it kept selling them")

    • Maybe that's why they kept being purchased!

  • +4

    Jeez, highlighting this on OzB? Know your audience…

  • Good thing this is a long running tagged deal for the future progeny that will need to be tested.

  • +1

    Great now I just have to find woman to cuck me

  • +1

    Imagine using this product and anxiously waiting for the results

  • +2

    Thanks OP. Bought 10.

  • My IVF baby doesn't look like me. Should I buy? I'd still love him regardless

    • Maybe he's the 6th element?

      • Maybe his wife accepts Multipass?

    • +3

      It's probably the doctor's. Better not to know

  • +4

    All that she wants…

    • +2

      Jeez, thats going back a few years. Bet the kits werent $160 back then.

    • +3

      No joke my ex has an annoying friend who seemed to get pregnant as soon as she split from her husband. She wanted more kids and he didn't. New guy just didn't see her coming.

      I hum this when she walks past with the pram at the kids sport. She shoots me the evil eye. The new guy still just looks puzzled as he gets yanked away.

      • +1

        If only he had just let himself get yanked away!

      • how many kids now?

  • If I manage to delay doing the test until the kid turns 18 can they still make me backpay the whole 18 years?

  • +2

    Upvoted for the first sentence

  • +6

    Came here for the comments, was totally worth it

  • +3

    A condom would have prevented this post

  • +3

    Can we order one done on King Charles and Harry?

    It would save the royals a lot of grief if it was proven once and for all he wasn't one of them.

  • Today we find out if I'm your daddy or the German shepherd.

  • Ops Child Labor comment is funny!

  • +1

    Law and jurisdiction

    These terms & conditions will be governed by and construed in accordance with Australian Law, and any disputes relating to these terms & conditions will be subject to the [non-]exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of Australia.

    That is an interesting get-out-of-jail-free card they have on hand. You may or may not have agreed to any arbitrary jurisdiction of their choosing, depending on whether they enforce the square brackets or not. For something as far reaching and life changing as a paternity test, this is unacceptable.

  • DJT's next nightmare - paternity tests that show the abortions he paid for were never performed!

  • +3

    can I give birth to a property

    because real estate prices sure are fornicating me

    • +1

      The clinic will return with a negative test result and the property will be taken away from you.

      • and handed to a boomer who already has 6 or a foreign investor who already has 3.

  • +2

    +1 because OP is hilarious

  • +4

    I once had a client who had about 3 potential fathers tested for paternity. She never found the father and she was deported back to the UK.

    Womp womp

    I would say she 'F%#ked around and found out' but infact she did not find out, so……

  • +1

    It's YOURS, for just $160 plus shipping

  • +2

    lol @ "Alleged Father"

  • +1

    What's a cuckold??

    I had to Google it. I never knew it was a thing

  • If the child isnt yours’, you got a child for free. that is the ultimate OZbargainer badge

    • but you're locked into a subscription contract with minimum term of at least 10 years with greater than CPI increases per year

  • -1

    Shall we lobby to have this covered under Medicare?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36M7Urburrg

  • Literally just here for the comments lmfao

  • +5

    Every deal post should begin with, “Esteemed Cuckolds of Ozbargain …”

    • Could be the other way around. The cuckolder could also want to check if the claimed kid was his

  • +3

    Just be careful when purchasing.

    This shows up on your credit card transaction.

    Ask me how i know

    • +3

      How do you know?

      • His mum got mad at him trying to prove she cheated on Dad

  • Is there a bulk discount if I'm the alleged father with 15-25 alleged children?

    • If you are the father with 15-25 alleged children, please report to your local police station for processing.

  • Why is there no 'alleged mother'?

    • +3

      npm uninstall brain

      • Well a cis male can identify as a mother

  • -1

    But the kid is not my son

  • If the test costs less than the price of a cuckolder, does this mean it creates an infinite money loop??? I think I've just solved the housing price crisis

  • The one night stands cumming back to haunt the deal hunters in this thread lol

  • In the 90s Jerry Springer offered this service for free.

    • -2

      It’s not the 90s anymore

  • I once had a client who had about 3 potential fathers tested for paternity

    That's cucked

  • Can never be too sure…

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