Customers Asking Where I am From. Do You Find it Racist?

Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:28
Last edited 09/02/2024 - 14:11

Hey everyone! I haven't posted a forum post for a while. I work in retail (I won't say where) and I have people/customers asking me where I am from.
I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.
To give you context, this are not regular customers that I have interactions everyday. This are random first time customers.

What do you think?

Racist or not racist.

Also I would like your input on how you would reacted if something like this occurs daily to you.

Edit: Thanks to scrimshaw for sharing this article. Although I respect people's opinion, I would suggest people reading this article that might change the way you think.

Poll Options

  • 146
    Definitely Racist
  • 673
    Not Racist
  • 956
    Just nosy/curious people
Education & Work

Comments

    • Scrooge McDeal on 09/02/2024 - 15:03
      -3

      Yes, it may be annoying that you are asked the same question over and over but to link it to racism?

      Do you doubt that amongst the curious people that are also racist people asking that question?
      Also do you find appropriate to ask this kind of questions to someone that you have just met?
      How would you feel if you were that person been asked that question? Have you ever been asked that question several times per day? Then you would understand how it feels. Sure the motives of most people could be curiosity, but you do understand that people are putting their curiosity above someone's else feelings and personal information?

      • Hangryuman on 09/02/2024 - 15:48
        +3

        'Do you doubt that amongst the curious people that are also racist people asking that question?
        Also do you find appropriate to ask this kind of questions to someone that you have just met?
        How would you feel if you were that person been asked that question? Have you ever been asked that question several times per day? Then you would understand how it feels. Sure the motives of most people could be curiosity, but you do understand that people are putting their curiosity above someone's else feelings and personal information?        '

        Do you identify as ADHD or social-avoidant ?
        Your insistence on assuming racism despite an overwhelming majority of responses saying it's unlikely, suggests the problem is most likely … your thinking.

        If you are working in a customer contact role where small talk is sought especially by lonely older folk, and then want to claim it's somehow wrong or bad for people to ask you questions, then maybe it's time you looked for work where you don't have to hear people saying scary things like 'hello' and 'where are you from?'

        • Scrooge McDeal on 09/02/2024 - 15:55
          -1

          Do you identify as ADHD or social-avoidant ?
          Your insistence on assuming racism despite an overwhelming majority of responses saying it's unlikely, suggests the problem is most likely … your thinking.

          I don't think what an overwhelming majority of people think can change the way I feel.
          Might make me think, but it doesn't mean it will change how I feel.

          I don't identify as ADHD or social-avoidant. Although I have never been tested for any of these. I have the tendency of overthinking and analyze things but I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't have any social-avoidance otherwise why would I work in customer service role?

          I think I have said enough. People can have their opinion and I respect that.

          • Autonomic on 09/02/2024 - 17:19
            -2

            @Scrooge McDeal: Ignore these comments. Ozbargain is notably right wing.

            • CurlCurl on 09/02/2024 - 17:29
              +1

              @Autonomic:

              Ignore these comments. Ozbargain is notably right wing.

              Oh please.

              • infinite on 09/02/2024 - 18:10

                @CurlCurl: Yep, just another poor soul with a victim mentality, looking to screech about how everything and everyone's a racist.

  • patso on 09/02/2024 - 16:01
    +2

    Grow a pair

    • Scrooge McDeal on 09/02/2024 - 16:01
      +2

      I have got an extra pair if you want some.

      • patso on 09/02/2024 - 22:48
        +1

        Seems you need moee

  • mwangdawg on 09/02/2024 - 16:15
    +3

    Not racist, I get asked this same question quite a lot and it's a great way to get a conversation going especially with Australia being rather multicultural. Stop with the victim mentality please.

  • PleasureMe on 09/02/2024 - 17:01
    +2

    So why do you actually have an accent if you'e born in this country? Now I'm curious to know as it also seems strange to me to have an accent if you're born here. Unless it's like a Western suburbs accent, then that's understandable.

    • BargainMe on 09/02/2024 - 18:29

      I thought this too, much have been brought up watching American TV and not socialising with other children.

  • Jacked on 09/02/2024 - 17:39

    Being asked your nationality and considering it racism reminds me of some people I knew claimimg that being asked for their phone number was a form of sexual harrassment. Primiarily it's not. It does depend on the context and tone though. Being asked out of curiousty is surely ok not but being judged or stereotyped by your answer is not.

  • xavster on 09/02/2024 - 17:45
    +2

    Plot twist, it's the OP that's racist….

    People are curious and want to learn more about you, and it's you, that's being racist against them for assuming they're talking about race.

  • solacens on 09/02/2024 - 18:26
    +1

    Aus is definitely the least racist countries I've ever been.

    P.S. ex-HongKonger

  • wade2006 on 09/02/2024 - 19:27

    What does it really mean to be Australian?
    Does it really matter if you are or not Australian to some people?
    Isnt it more important to be comfortable about who you are rather than being influenced by other people's opinions?

    The reality is that people are just curious, and sometimes dont know to articulate themselves in a polite way. Its up to you make the judgement between innocent curosity and actual derogatory behaviour because of your race, learn to let it go when needed.

  • denz02 on 09/02/2024 - 20:41
    +1

    I have heavy accent bur nearly lived half my life here. I get asked all of time it has never bothered me I actually enjoy it when they ask you get to chat to people. I am people person and like to chat.

  • xKaizokux on 09/02/2024 - 20:41
    +5

    As an Australian born Asian with no accent, only one of two responses will come if I were to answer the way they want. "oh, I love the country/food".
    I don't particular care for either of those things so there is nothing I can say after that. I don't speak the language either so I'm pretty much disconnected to the country/culture

    When I answer with Australian and they keep prodding with > Parents > Background > Ancestor, I do find that racist. Is Australian not good enough for those people?

    I might dislike it less if it were worded differently but it is always "Where are you from?". even if people don't want to admit it, there is a certain implication with that phrasing.

    • hasher22 on 09/02/2024 - 23:01
      +1

      Yes you are Australian but you got to understand the world still stereotypes unintentionally. There will be alot more generations in Australia who are non-caucasian Aussies and the question "where are you from" may slowly fade away and everyone will just assume they're Australian without a non-Aussie accent. But it's not going to go anytime soon with migrants, expats and tourists entering the country.

      Sure you can find it not good enough for people to not accept just Australian to you, but you got to understand that you are from an Asian background and to other people that's pretty exotic and they may want to learn or get an insight from your Asian heritage whether or not you do practice or dwell in the culture.

      All you got to say is "sorry, I don't speak nor engage in the culture" and that's the end of the conversation. Or you can continue the conversation and say something like "yeah, damn I want to visit the country my parents/grandparents were born in and embrace their upbringing".

      I mean, are you not interested at all learning your parents and/or grandparents upbringing and culture?

      • Ghost47 on 10/02/2024 - 21:37
        +1

        I mean, are you not interested at all learning your parents and/or grandparents upbringing and culture?

        Multiple replies in this thread seem to think that it's fine for people of non-European (or "Australian") descent to relinquish their ancestry/culture/ethnicity simply because they're born here. I personally think it's sad for culture and knowledge to become lost, simply because someone grew up in a different country compared to where their ancestors came from. That's like a Mexican person crossing the border into the US and becoming whitewashed, some people might think that's cool but I think it's sad.

      • ihfree on 10/02/2024 - 22:51
        +1

        I mean, are you not interested at all learning your parents and/or grandparents upbringing and culture?

        I feel this one is a bit of a different standard. How many Australians of European descent learn about their European culture?

        I would think there’s a significant portion who don’t know about their primary ancestry’s country’s culture. Yet, if a similar conversation came up, I don’t think this would be suggested for them.

        • Ghost47 on 11/02/2024 - 01:11
          +1

          Well if their culture was lost over a period of 200 years I don't think anyone could blame them for not knowing anything about their culture. And Australia was settled by the British as well, and we still have the King's head on our coin, we play cricket, we drink tea and have biscuits and scones and that kind of thing. So I'd say British culture is still somewhat alive here.

          (Replied to your comment thinking you replied to me btw, more of an accidental reply).

          • ihfree on 11/02/2024 - 07:44

            @Ghost47: In this case, European doesn't mean British. There are many more European arrivals to Australia since the 200 years.

            Would it be acceptable for a German to lose their culture on moving to Australia?

            How about someone marrying an white Australian? Does this also change if they're from a different ethnic group? Eg would a mixed race Asian be expected to keep cultural elements?

            • Ghost47 on 11/02/2024 - 19:11

              @ihfree:

              In this case, European doesn't mean British. There are many more European arrivals to Australia since the 200 years.

              In that case, yes, like Greeks and Italians. And out of those Europeans I've met (e.g. the ones who came in the 50s and 60s, mainly Greeks), a lot of them still cook Greek or Italian food, speak Greek or Italian, partake in all the cultural things related to those countries. They are all still proud of the heritage they come from. And that is a good thing and it's something I think is quite admirable.

              Would it be acceptable for a German to lose their culture on moving to Australia?

              It would be extremely sad, wouldn't it? Why would it not be bad to lose the culture your ancestors followed for dozens, potentially hundreds of years?

              How about someone marrying an white Australian? Does this also change if they're from a different ethnic group? Eg would a mixed race Asian be expected to keep cultural elements?

              Why would it change if they come from a different ethnic group? It doesn't matter where they come from, e.g. Venezuelan + British, Nepalese + Indigenous Australian, Chinese + Russian etc. If two people from different backgrounds are going to have a mixed race kid I think it would be very sensible to teach the kid about both of their cultures.

              • ihfree on 11/02/2024 - 23:31

                @Ghost47: I agree.

                I guess my point it is that it feels like there is a double standard around an expectation to preserve culture for Australians who aren't white. This is based on my own experience and, from what I have read on other forums.

                If two people from different backgrounds are going to have a mixed race kid I think it would be very sensible to teach the kid about both of their cultures.

                In the case of this kid or even an ABC who is not taught language or culture, neither of them really have a choice in the matter. Hypothetically speaking, that person may feel othered if they take on "Australian" as their primary identity. A white person born to two immigrant parents who adopts Australian culture, I think would be much less likely to be questioned about the topic.

                I have friends with 1st generation European parents with varying degrees of immersion into culture - it doesn't feel like there is pressure or expectation for them to have kept cultural elements from the European culture.

                Going off topic, I also follow a few ancestry groups on Facebook. One of them is a group that makes fun of people in America who claim that ancestry and display ignorance, talk for people in that country, or other crazy ancestry related claims.

                • Ghost47 on 12/02/2024 - 21:39

                  @ihfree:

                  I guess my point it is that it feels like there is a double standard around an expectation to preserve culture for Australians who aren't white.

                  Not sure what you mean here, as in non-Whites are expected to take up Australian culture and at the same time keep their own?

                  A white person born to two immigrant parents who adopts Australian culture, I think would be much less likely to be questioned about the topic.

                  Yes I agree, I think people who look White (e.g. white South African, Kiwi, Canadian etc.) get more of a pass compared to people who don't look White.

                  I have friends with 1st generation European parents with varying degrees of immersion into culture - it doesn't feel like there is pressure or expectation for them to have kept cultural elements from the European culture.

                  Fair enough, as you mentioned in another comment parenting plays a large influence. The main benefit I can think of teaching your kids about your culture is that it just helps them with figuring out who they are.

                  Going off topic, I also follow a few ancestry groups on Facebook. One of them is a group that makes fun of people in America who claim that ancestry and display ignorance, talk for people in that country, or other crazy ancestry related claims.

                  Interesting, I didn't know such groups existed.

          • infinite on 12/02/2024 - 21:19

            @Ghost47: Much of the world was doing biscuits or sweet breads and tea 1000's of years before Britain ever existed (3000 BC in Asia and the Middle East).

            Most of the British culture we have here in Australia still exists though, thankfully.

            • Ghost47 on 12/02/2024 - 21:40

              @infinite: Yeah that's fair, considering the history of the British Empire and all that.

        • hasher22 on 11/02/2024 - 01:23
          +1

          No one is going to go to a Euro-Australian and say "where you from?" in Australia but they might be asked when travelling overseas. Unless they have some sort of accent or a unique look that may suggest mixed ethnicities.

          But we're specifically talking about non-Euro Aussies, where the question "where are you from?" is a common question to ask in western countries.

          If people want to be identified as purely Aussie, go for it but don't get mad at people because they want to know a bit on insight if they're non-Euro Aussies.

          But IMO, when non-Euro Aussies have the resources to gain insight to their heritage then they might find something interesting and thus I find those people more interesting to speak to because they seem worldly and have a sense of duality of cultures.

          I ain't hating, I rather engage in conversation where the person has a wider cultural knowledge than just Australian culture whether it's through personal experience (travel, upbringing from parents, school, friends etc…), reading or other means of absorbing information.

          If I had a conversation with a Thai-Aussie, and it went something like this, I would think they're not even interested in their heritage and just write them off as pure Aussie culture.
          Me: Hey, where you from?
          Them: I'm Australian
          Me: Oh nice, what's your background?
          Them: Thailand
          Me: That's awesome, I went to Thailand last year in November, had the most amazing time visiting the temples and the food is amazing!
          Them: Great! I never been to Thailand though….
          Me: That's alright, but I do cook a crazy Panang curry, what's your favourite Thai dish or do you cook any awesome Thai food?
          Them: Don't really have one and nah, don't cook Thai food….
          Me: Cool

          This gives me enough information to stop talking about his Thai background and I would switch the topic. (Btw I am not Thai myself, I did go to Thailand and I do cook a crazy Panang curry ahaha)

          • rumblytangara on 12/02/2024 - 16:59

            @hasher22: Perhaps you were exaggerating for effect, but if someone tried to pull a conversation like that than on me I would find that disturbingly stereotypical and verging on creepy.

            It's like someone mentioning they're from America at the dinner table, and then someone else immediately bringing up what they think of gun crime (I've witnessed this conversation happen and it was so weird).

            • hasher22 on 12/02/2024 - 18:14

              @rumblytangara: That's the thing, people will and try relate topics from your ethnic background. It may not be creepy to the person asking the questions but if you find it creepy or stereotypical, then that's on you.

              I get it all the time and I never once thought it was racist, weird, boring….. whatever the reason I may feel cause I know they're just wanting to create conversation with the information given. But I know they're just trying to relate topics where we might converse on commonality.

              I mean, getting an American's point of view on gun violence (depending on the American) can either go positive or negative, if the person asking the question feels that American may not take offence, then it's a valid question right?

              Just like non-Aussies speaking to me why we eat our coat of arms, I don't find it a weird question, nor take offence, nor find it silly…… from their perspective, they may seen or been told Aussies love to eat Kangaroo and Emu in our everyday diet.

              Yes, I agree some questions may be off topic to an individual, or stupid, or crazy, or whatever…. but we don't know until we ask right?

              Some East Asian-Aussies love bubble tea and some don't. I've hanged out with an East Asian-Aussie and he never tried bubble tea and he is 26 yrs old, I would assume he would have tried it at least once in his life given bubble tea is so popular with East Asians. And he may have taken offence when I invited him to try his first bubble tea because he's he has an East Asian background. And yes I did say "Oh damn! You haven't tried bubble tea!?" But I never linked it to his Asian background….. was I stereotyping? yes, to an extent but given my experience and statistics of an East Asian not trying bubble tea at the age of 26 is slim, don't you recon?

              • rumblytangara on 12/02/2024 - 18:22

                @hasher22: It starts to get creepy once you start talking about temples and Penang curries. Most Thai people I know outside Thailand don't really have much interest talking about that stuff. They're likely "give it a rest" and rolling their eyes after the second question. It's like asking a Chinese person about chopsticks or saying that you make a wicked fried rice.

                If you've spent much time there (or even a little) there are much better things to talk about than those.

                And note, I am not saying there's anything racist here because there is no ill intent… it's just slightly cringe.

                I mean, getting an American's point of view on gun violence (depending on the American) can either go positive or negative, if the person asking the question feels that American may not take offence, then it's a valid question right?

                Nah, this incident was at an introductory dinner table. Total strangers getting to know each other. It was brought up by a comically socially inept guy that we joked about for years afterwards. It's just common sense across all Anglo cultures- you don't talk politics at the dinner table outside close friends and family. Unless of course you're asking for an argument.

                I've spent the rest of my time in this thread posting that the OP is reading way too much into it and getting offended over nothing, but chasing stereotypes is a bit clueless. Plenty of better things to talk about regarding Thailand.

                I was honestly half thinking you were exaggerating for effect with that 'sample' conversation! At least I hope you know never to bring up the monarchy in conversation- now there's a touchy subject. Kind of like Americans and guns, come to think of it.

                (I probably didn't try bubble tea until well into my 30s, and I have lived in Asia on and off for 20+ years.)

                • hasher22 on 12/02/2024 - 18:48
                  +1

                  @rumblytangara: You're tired of those questions relating to your background, that's perfectly fine, I ain't judging you. For me, I'm not. While I get those questions alot relating to my ethnic background, I am amaze when someone tells me they been to my home country, or they can cook my native food etc….. that's impressive to me and I will ask follow up questions such as "where did you go?" "what did you see?" "did you try this food?"….. To me, I engage and I wouldn't dismiss such conversations because they are genuinely keen to speak about their experience.

                  My conversation you read above is not really exaggerated, while the conversation may appear stereotypical, or whatever in these forums, it's a whole different vibe when we were having the conversation in person. There's tone, body language, facial expressions, atmosphere, connection… all these things play a part and when the average or reasonable person can pick up that the person is not interested or can't relate, then I switch to another topic or just move away from that person.

                  Everyone is different and if you feel these questions or statements are mediocre then that's on you, not them. And, IMO, you shouldn't judge them for trying to converse with you.

                  I mean, what topics do you like when you meet a stranger? I am sure the weather isn't on your list.

                  For example you said: "Plenty of better things to talk about regarding Thailand", what are the better things? Cause some people are happy to speak about Thailand's popular culture and food. While I don't know alot about Thailand, I will do my best to try bring up topics and experiences that another person and I can relate on.

                  But going back on topic where non-Euro-Aussie only wants to be identified as pure Aussie and their physical look is east Asian, how am I suppose to know they only want to be identified as Aussie when we first meet and not bring up any of their ethnic background topics if the situation arises?

                  I don't bring up politics, religion, wars, violence, protests etc….. I know they're touchy subjects but I see nothing wrong bringing up places and food.

    • Ghost47 on 10/02/2024 - 21:26

      Is Australian not good enough for those people?

      Well how about you? Is your ancestry not good enough for you?

      • ihfree on 10/02/2024 - 21:50

        might dislike it less if it were worded differently

        Where are you from is being answered accurately here. I would be hesitant to answer that one based on the potential cringe response/further explanation required. As said, if it was worded differently, it would be better received. I think this has already been discussed in another thread here.

        For ABCs, mixed race Asians and transracials(adoptees) this topic is much more complex. In many cases where there are issues, there is often a certain level of fault with the parents.

        • Ghost47 on 11/02/2024 - 01:21

          Where are you from is being answered accurately here.

          Sure, but we all know the question is more along the lines of "Where do your ancestors hail from?" And there's nothing wrong with answering China, Vietnam, Korea, Japan etc. even if they don't feel connected to it.

  • cobknob on 09/02/2024 - 20:57

    Every1 needs to settle lol. Life is literally a game. And this is a common question in that when I ask it and if I get it right I score magic points for my detective ability.

    Some people love it for you to get it right, some people find it an insult. "You people" have gone too far with political correctness and ethics - soon I won't be able to get paint colors like black, white, yellow, chocolate, offwhite, etc - cause of the pain in the asses teople!

    I have some real classics too. Caught out once by a islander from Mauritius, when I said he was Indian and was just trying to point out how good his cricket team was, well until Aus won afterwards lol. Don't know whether he was being genuine when he said you insult me sir. Teople need to lighten up! I've been mistake for French, Swedish, Norwegian, etc.. I don't take it seriously I usually just ask how they've come to their guess. Connecting with people in this day can be difficult. Speaking about accents is 1 way to connect. And some people have a nice voice too.

  • fruxo on 09/02/2024 - 22:29
    +1

    I'm white but l have an accent. It's very common for people to ask where I'm from. Or simply guess where I'm from. I also tend to ask where other people are from. Not once did I associate either with racism.

    I think it's probably mostly in your head. Most people are just curious and/or trying to make small talk.

  • langitbiru on 09/02/2024 - 23:45

    generally not racist, but, depends on circumstances and to what context

    1) not racist,
    if it is a continuous kind of chatting, and suddenly they would love to know more about you, i think it is just normal.

    2) curious / noisy
    If they saw you doing something cultural, it can be their curiosity to find out such interesting activity, and would like to know where the cultural from. so, this is a noisy option.

    3) racist
    depends on the tone and their face reaction, when they ask you this questions. so suddenly pop out no where asking you without any context or link to it?
    or maybe the person they ask is a kind of introvert person, who doesnt like people to get to know him/her, that think they are racist when asking this questions.

    Lots of possibility to count if it is a racist or not.

    • Blargman2001 on 10/02/2024 - 10:20
      +2

      Definitely a lot of nuance on how the question is asked. Depends on how much of a relationship there is between the people and what the next line of questioning is

  • furyou on 10/02/2024 - 10:49
    -2

    They judged you as a non local purely by your accent so yes that's racist
    racist does not have to be malicious

    • sintro on 10/02/2024 - 12:01
      +1

      That's just defining and identifying racial differences.

      Racist is when there is some sort of supremacy over the other race or think they are inferior. Let me know if you need an example.

      • furyou on 10/02/2024 - 12:21

        X race are great clients because they're all rich and very generous.
        That's racist and there's no Supremacy.
        We're talking about complete strangers and not someone you've talked with for five minutes and then the topic comes up.

  • basketballfreak6 on 10/02/2024 - 12:12

    Racism or just someone taking an interest about your background? See how it depends on how you wish to perceive one’s intent?

    I don’t think most people go out of their way to be racist and if they do well, why give a damn about them? They’re miserable people living unhappy lives.

    I say this as an Asian.

  • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 12:14

    Racist is when there is some sort of supremacy over the other race or think they are inferior. Let me know if you need an example.

    RACIST is the most incorrectly used word in the dictionary.

    racist: adjective characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    "we are investigating complaints about racist abuse"

    Noun a person who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    "he has been targeted by vicious racists online"

    • Scrooge McDeal on 10/02/2024 - 12:23
      -1

      prejudice, adverse or hostile attitude toward a group or its individual members, generally without just grounds or before sufficient evidence. It is characterized by irrational, stereotyped beliefs.

      Discrimination is against the law if a person is treated unfairly because of a protected characteristic, such as his or her race, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.

      antagonism 1. an active hostility or opposition, as between unfriendly or conflicting groups.
      2. an opposing force, principle, or tendency

      • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 12:29
        +1

        prejudice, adverse or hostile attitude toward a group or its individual members, generally without just grounds or before sufficient evidence. It is characterized by irrational, stereotyped beliefs.

        Discrimination is against the law if a person is treated unfairly because of a protected characteristic, such as his or her race, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.

        antagonism 1. an active hostility or opposition, as between unfriendly or conflicting groups.
        2. an opposing force, principle, or tendency

        OMG. None of those happened to you.

  • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 12:26
    +2

    Combining the Not Racist and Just nosy/curious people to me reads, 1,362 say NOT racist.

    Just 106 poor ignorant souls say YES

    Proves the vast majority here fully understands the meaning of racist.

    • Roman Sandstorm on 12/02/2024 - 17:54

      Quite interesting.

      And what would be even more interesting is what percentage of that 106 have a 'different' accent, or skin colour, etc.

      That would tell us how many of them are offended/upset by such comments.

      But if 100 of that 106 are just white with 'standard' Aust accents, then the are projecting their views of what is racist onto the people to whom racism occurs.

      • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 18:28

        Quite interesting.

        And what would be even more interesting is what percentage of that 106 have a 'different' accent, or skin colour, etc.

        That would tell us how many of them are offended/upset by such comments.

        But if 100 of that 106 are just white with 'standard' Aust accents, then the are projecting their views of what is racist onto the people to whom racism occurs.

        You're clutching at straws there. We will never know.

        Being offended is not racism.

        • Roman Sandstorm on 12/02/2024 - 18:50
          +1

          You're clutching at straws there. We will never know.

          I just suggested a hypothetical. Based on the current results of the poll. Of course we will never know.

          My comment was just an idle thought based on what might be another way to interpret such data. Or at least extract more meaningful results out of it.

          Being offended is not racism.

          I 100% agree with you that just 'being offended' is not racism. 😃

          However, in my completely hypothetical case of adding to the poll, and then the completely hypothetical results of such which I posited, I think it reasonable to say that the 6 out of my 106 people who were offended, and who had an accent or different ethnicity, had most likely experienced some racism in Australia at some time themselves - personally. (Otherwise the question is totally innocuous - like it is for all of the white ockers like me.) On the other hand, my main point was really about the 100 snowflakes and virtue signallers, who ascribe racism, when never experiencing it themselves, but assuming a simple curious enquiry has a nasty undercurrent.

          Of course, I could be completely wrong, and that of that 106, 100 of them are accented or more ethnically diverse. In which case my argument against guilt-ridden, virtue signalling liberal arts majors (sigh, again, like me) is totally invalid. Mind you, I'm not sure how to eith validate, or invalidate the results of a wholly imaginary poll.

          Sorry if I wasn't totally clear. (And reading back, I'm still not sure I am. LOL.)

          • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 19:58

            @Roman Sandstorm:

            Sorry if I wasn't totally clear. (And reading back, I'm still not sure I am. LOL.)

            No worries. It's all good.

  • tencents on 10/02/2024 - 14:11
    -1

    Rude and none of their business - Yes.
    Racist - No

    Too many woke

  • dudebargain on 10/02/2024 - 16:49
    +1

    I wonder if someone is racist why would they even ask someone where they are from? They would have their racist opinion regardless. It would not matter where you are from.

    I am not saying this would be the case 100% of the times. But I am not understanding why would a racist person even bother asking someone they are racist toward where they are from? They would have formed their racist opinion long before even coming face to face with that person.

    Asking someone where you are from seems like an attempt at being curious and having a conversation with the other person? Which probably is a good thing?

    I could wrong though about this though.

    • ihfree on 10/02/2024 - 20:51

      They would have their racist opinion regardless.

      If someone's ambiguous, they feel confused and don't know how to feel until they know for sure.

    • larndis on 11/02/2024 - 00:19

      So they can tell them where to go back to?

      • dudebargain on 11/02/2024 - 08:54

        You can tell someone "go back to where you came from". Without needing to know their country of origin.

        Needing to know where someone is from so that you can tell them to back seems like a unnecessary detour to take. And racists always generalise. I am sure they will take a look at the person they are racist towards and make an assumption where they are from and ask them to go back to that place.

        • larndis on 11/02/2024 - 10:01
          +1

          Several commenters have said that was often what came next.

          I don't think 'racists' are as homogeneous as you believe. Racism takes many forms.

          OP has clearly stated they find the question inappropriate, but many commenters are at great pains to dismiss OP's feelings. Why is it too hard to just take on board that the question might not be welcome?

          • tifflee on 11/02/2024 - 14:27
            +1

            @larndis: I think people are willing to accept the question may not be welcome, what people aren't willing to accept is that asking the question is by definition racism.
            Whenever I have witnessed the "go back to where you came from" line I don't think I've ever seen that following a line of questioning as to ones lineage, it's just said completely in ignorance without having any idea.
            I can't speak for everyone but I feel the phrase "where are you really from" is really just a poorly worded inquiry into someone's heritage.

            • illusion99 on 11/02/2024 - 21:29
              +1

              @tifflee: I like to say I'm from your mum's vagina and then see what happens from there

  • syousef on 10/02/2024 - 18:28
    +4

    They could be racist, or they could want to celebrate your culture with you. Just the act of asking isn't racist and doesn't tell you their intentions.

    Reacting this way - assuming racist intent - has made the world worse, and actually contributed to real racial resentment.

    • infinite on 11/02/2024 - 15:43
      +3

      Reacting that way is exactly how racist people project their own racism on others, too.

  • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 18:38

    They could be racist, or they could want to celebrate your culture with you. Just the act of asking isn't racist and doesn't tell you their intentions.

    Reacting this way - assuming racist intent - has made the world worse, and actually contributed to real racial resentment.

    For your benefit and also a chance for you to learn something togay.

    Dictionary definition of racist.

    racist: adjective characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    "we are investigating complaints about racist abuse"

    Noun a person who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    "he has been targeted by vicious racists online"

    • larndis on 11/02/2024 - 00:28

      Being more thoughtful about what you say, how you say it and how others may perceive it can only make the world a better place. People who get on their high horse and refuse to consider anyone else's point of view make the world a worse place. Your complete inability to try to understand where other people are coming from comes across as very prejudiced.

      • infinite on 11/02/2024 - 15:45

        You just did the exact thing you accused them of………….. and they weren't even doing it.

        • larndis on 11/02/2024 - 21:09

          Of course, because gaslighting OP to suggest that they are actually the cause of racism is an excellent example of empathy and open-mindedness.

          • CurlCurl on 11/02/2024 - 21:25
            -1

            @larndis: You and the other 122 have been out voted by nearly 1,300 votes.

            Think best have two Panadol, a cup of tea a nice hot shower and hit the pillow.

            • larndis on 11/02/2024 - 22:30

              @CurlCurl: I didn't vote as I didn't agree with any of the options.

              BTW popular =/= right

          • infinite on 12/02/2024 - 08:35
            -2

            @larndis: Your still doing it……..

  • grog on 10/02/2024 - 20:11
    +1

    I am not racist… I hate everybody

    • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 20:29

      I think that saying is I hate everyone equally

  • dfg555 on 10/02/2024 - 21:47
    +1

    g'day mate

  • donman92 on 10/02/2024 - 22:31

    I usually ask coz I'm curious and I like to hear where people are from. People ask me too when they see my woggy name lol

  • WorstAgreeableRadish on 10/02/2024 - 23:31
    +4

    I'm a white, South African-born and have been in Aus for a little over a year now. I get asked relatively frequently where I'm from during our first (often only) interaction, from salespeople to medical professionals to our postie to people I work with. Almost everyone who asks had a follow-up question or has a story and twice now it was because the person was either married to or dating a South African. Others work with or know South Africans. I think it may be a "guess the accent" game for some, and it's fine by me.

    People who ask are just friendly and or curious and it gives them an "in" to make some small talk. It's your choice whether you take offence or not.

    • ShakaZulu011 on 12/02/2024 - 13:32

      Same, most people who ask me know the Afrikaans South African accent so my English one throws them off.

  • EdenKai on 11/02/2024 - 01:13
    +4

    I work in healthcare, particularly radiography. So i dont work with ppl for particularly long, really 30mins max if im doing CT. I do look ambiguous as an asian, like I look chinese to some, korean to some, but im actually viet. I also work in an area that isnt rural, but it borders on it. I get asked it essentially every 2nd or 3rd patient. I genuinely do not think its racist at all. Sometimes its just small talk, sometimes they just want to know my nationality. Its more so that they dont know how to ask it.

    However, a racist way of asking is " How long have you been here?". I try to answer it in a way that doesnt make it seem racist. For example " Oh ive been working in this area for 5-6 years, but I was born in X suburb in Victoria, so I drive pretty far to work sometimes". That way im sort of answering this question in the two ways it could be interpreted. And if they ask "Where are you from?", i answer " I was born in X suburb in Victoria, but my parents are from Vietnam", Again im just trying to answer both questions simultaneously without my patient feeling stupid or that they were being offensive. Most of the time they dont mean to be rude or anything, its just dumb small talk to fill the silent void.

  • unhuman on 11/02/2024 - 12:43

    Just say “ Australia, chief “and ask the guy where is he from? Lol

  • ScribbleSass on 11/02/2024 - 12:58
    +2

    What's wrong in asking someone about where they are from, their culture and their life journey in general. It's upto them how much they want to share. It's just another talking point. Small talk sorted, you know. I don't think it's being rude or nosy in any sense. Someone showing interest in your life or just being curious about you (positively) is infact good. Humans are social, they are supposed to interact.

  • Adz81 on 11/02/2024 - 12:59
    +2

    FFS, it's not racist, it's just people being nosy.

    I look like a wog, so people will ask if I'm Italian/Greek something wog looking, I explain I'm not either of those, I'm just a Mongrel breed, and I'll reel off the ethnicity down to 4/5 different countries.

  • The Value on 11/02/2024 - 16:49

    Guy asked me "where are you from?"
    I reply "overseas country, but I was born here"
    Guy replies "no, where do you live? Which city?"
    "Oh, Sydney."

  • Void on 11/02/2024 - 18:41
    +1

    I work in retail and get that question all the time being mixed race. I think it's a stupid question and really adds nothing to the interaction, but I just answer anyway. Most people that ask are ethnic themselves and it's ingrained in them to identify with their heritage and be curious about others.

    • CurlCurl on 11/02/2024 - 19:03
      -1

      Most people that ask are ethnic themselves

      Ethnics being racist? Well I never.

  • Goremans on 11/02/2024 - 22:57

    If someone has an acent, that means they are from somewhere else, or at least lived somewhere else for a time. Hense "where are you from, is likely just curiosities- depending on how they ask.

    If you didn't have an accents but looked ethnically distinctive from Indigenous Aussie or European Whyte (like cool whip! ), then i would assume there person is Australian, the accent is the key for me.

  • Mysterious Laptop on 11/02/2024 - 23:54
    +1

    I think people are giving OP too hard a time.. with white/caucasian people even giving anecdotes, I can see how it's not the same.

    In general I know what he is talking about, but the OzB echo chamber is too strong. It's a bit like people asking "No, where are you 'really' from?", I can see how OP might be offended if it's asked in a certain way or tone in the first interaction.

    • Tpyin on 12/02/2024 - 02:35
      +1

      I agree. I find just telling OP to ‘get over it’ unhelpful. There’s a term called Microagression that fits OP’s experience:

      Microaggression: Microaggression is a term used for commonplace verbal, behavioral or environmental slights, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative attitudes toward stigmatized or culturally marginalized groups. The term was coined by Harvard University psychiatrist Chester M.

      [Accidental Racism]
      (https://youtu.be/qN1QTugrQQQ?si=Fch8S3EUsQBPPDF4)

  • OzzyOzbourne on 12/02/2024 - 09:19

    They could be from the same country as you. Perhaps you are being racist by assuming they are not based on their skin colour and accent.

  • maverickjohn on 12/02/2024 - 10:00

    I respond quite similarly to the articles response. I was born and raised here. But clearly don't look the white Australian.. honestly I don't mind if they ask but if they question me aligning myself as an Australian. That's when I will be pissed.
    My mates joke about me being of Lebanese background.. but even with them I'm like don't associate me with them.. I know theirs is lighthearted but for a random stranger.. it's not called for.

  • lilbudgie on 12/02/2024 - 11:01

    I am very aussie with a very country aussie accent but I am also female that had hormonal bloating problems. I have lost count the amount of times I was asked when my baby was due, or if I was having another. My answer was Nah I just ate a big lunch and have a laugh with them. I am also very short just tapping out at 5ft and have fielded many comments on being short my answer was usually along the lines of "Yeah but I can climb a mean supermarket shelf". Like I said previously I ask people where they are from but I only ask people I actually like and want to interact with. Grumpy people with a scowl on their face I can't be bothered to even give a smile. I sort of think of it as "you seem nice person don't go so quickly lets have a few seconds out of an otherwise boring day for a quick chat while I am helping you" Did I get offended when my shape or size got asked about? No. I knew it was just because someone just wanted a few seconds of my time for human interaction. I think some people just look for reasons to be offended

  • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:05

    How is it racist for people to ask you where you are from? I genuinely don't understand.
    Maybe you stand out from the norm? People could just be genuinely curious and use it as a conversation starter?

    If you change your attitude you might find your conversations become more interesting.

    I ask people where they are from and it normally opens up a good conversation of how they ended up where they are.

    Or you can be offended and complain about it.

    • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:20
      -3

      How is it racist for people to ask you where you are from? I genuinely don't understand.

      Do you ask every single person you meet where they're from? Or only people who aren't white?

      • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:22
        +1

        Has nothing to do with skin, more to do with if I am feeling like engaging in conversation.

        • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:23
          -3

          If you ask everyone equally then you're not racist. However, people often ask people who aren't white where they're from because they assume they are not Australian. That is racist behaviour.

          • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:27
            +1

            @Autonomic: It is 100% NOT racist behavior.

            If you notice a characteristic about someone that is not the norm for the area, you will be inquisitive to ask them questions.

            • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:31
              -3

              @m0tyrider: Right….

              So you do single out people who "don't belong" (aren't white) and question them.

              You're treating white people and non-white people differently based on their skin colour.

              You don't see how that could be racist? Or at least annoying to people who are constantly told they stand out and don't belong, in a country they've been born in and grew up in?

              • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:35
                +1

                @Autonomic: You are taking it out of context and assuming malicious intent. I don't have any malice behind the question but curiosity.

                They could also be 'white' but have an accent so your argument is mute.

                • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:37
                  -3

                  @m0tyrider:

                  I don't have any malice behind the question but curiosity.

                  Do good intentions absolve all behavior? Obviously not.

                  They could also be 'white' but have an accent so your argument is mute.

                  Is it? I haven't mentioned anything about an accent. If you're asking purely on accent then that's another thing entirely.

                  • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:40
                    +1

                    @Autonomic: @Autonomic
                    No - but asking where someone is from and putting a racist twist on it is absolutely absurd.

                    No - accent, facial features, someones demeanor can all be conversation starters and prompt curiosity.

                    You are creating issues out of things that are not issues and just conversation.

                    • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:46
                      -1

                      @m0tyrider:

                      No - accent, facial features, someones demeanor can all be conversation starters and prompt curiosity.

                      Not sure what you mean by facial features (You have a big nose?) but others, sure. Do you acknowledge that people often ask based simply on the person not being white? Can you see how that could be racist?

                      • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:48
                        +1

                        @Autonomic: This is just your view on it being racist. As you can see the majority do not view it this way.

                        So I would be inclined to say there is an issue with the way you are viewing the interaction.

                        I see and understand your argument, I just do not agree with it because it makes no logical sense.

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