Customers Asking Where I am From. Do You Find it Racist?

Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:28
Last edited 09/02/2024 - 14:11

Hey everyone! I haven't posted a forum post for a while. I work in retail (I won't say where) and I have people/customers asking me where I am from.
I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.
To give you context, this are not regular customers that I have interactions everyday. This are random first time customers.

What do you think?

Racist or not racist.

Also I would like your input on how you would reacted if something like this occurs daily to you.

Edit: Thanks to scrimshaw for sharing this article. Although I respect people's opinion, I would suggest people reading this article that might change the way you think.

Poll Options

  • 145
    Definitely Racist
  • 670
    Not Racist
  • 953
    Just nosy/curious people
Education & Work

Comments

      • Bob Svargis on 14/02/2024 - 09:15

        Same. Don't get me wrong, I don't ask complete strangers - just those I'm already having a conversation with, if it's going well. Obviously if they don't want to talk about it, I don't talk about it - simple really. I don't walk up to people in the street and ask where they came from - that's just weird and rude!

        The only time this got awkward with someone was when I was talking to a bar tender one time, an elderly lady with a strong accent. I casually asked where the accent was from while chatting and she said very quietly "Russia". This was in August 2022 so she was rather quiet about it. Common sense says, you don't push the point and you change topic… However there's no accounting for common sense nowadays so people just get scared to even have the conversation.

  • Widget on 07/02/2024 - 20:51
    -1

    The problem in question doesn't fit the definition of Racism. In todays world where everything and everyone is considered racist, it would be good if people started learning the definition of racist/racism before applying it. If someone's asked you where your from or what accent is that, they're probably genuinely curious. If they say "go back to where you came from. We don't want your kind here", THEN they're probably racist.

  • PappaLuigi on 07/02/2024 - 21:20
    -1

    too many snowflakes nowadays.. nothing racist, people like to make conversation and are curious… sad state of affairs we are heading towards..

  • misfitt1911 on 07/02/2024 - 21:44

    You will probably also find it racist when people stop talking to you because you are too easily offended.

  • Morien on 07/02/2024 - 21:58

    Background: I am a white Australian man. Never had a passport until my early 20s like many good white Aussie men. I don't have a strong Australian accent though (I think because my parents were Uni lecturers, and exposed me to a lot of different nationalities).

    I am always asked where I am from, or my nationality is guessed. Some guess New Zealand, others English, some Wales.

    My mother asks people the same question. If they are from one particular country she usually follows up with "my grandson is half(country)", while beaming with pride.

    Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Are they discriminating against you? I know they are annoying you, but are they showing prejudice against you?

  • Hardlyworkin on 07/02/2024 - 22:01
    +1

    Just reply with a made up country, many people are idiots and won't know otherwise.

    • Thrift on 07/02/2024 - 22:20
      +2

      A made up country, hmmmm, "I was number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. Nice!"

  • Dsiee on 07/02/2024 - 22:01

    I did this once when donating blood. Was talking about the nurse lady abiut the upcoming public holiday and she mentioned something about the drive home. I asked where she was from and she got all offended, I guess she was sensative to that. I had to clarify after her grumpily telling me what country she moved from 20 years ago that I meant what town did she have to drive back to and if it was a long way. Made me feel like a dick for no reason.

  • Blargman2001 on 07/02/2024 - 22:02
    +4

    When it comes from strangers I would consider it a micro-aggression (look it up if you don't know what it is). Being constantly questioned about your heritage by strangers emphasises that you are different from everyone else. Eventually some people internalise the thought that they are different. Like if someone with a crooked nose keeps getting asked why their nose is crooked, eventually it becomes a burden.

    • AustriaBargain on 07/02/2024 - 22:59

      My Australian accent had everyone asking me about where I'm from when I lived in England. It wasn't a micro aggression, lol. And my being Australian wasn't a burden. Except apparently Australian's have a reputation in England for asking to sleep on your couch for a weekend and end up staying there for six months..

      • Blargman2001 on 07/02/2024 - 23:35
        +4

        Try not being white. It isn't endearing when your language is mocked , your women are sexualised or your culture reduced to some stereotype occasionally after some people find out where you're from. Generally white people do not understand what white privilege is.

        • AustriaBargain on 07/02/2024 - 23:38
          +1

          You'd have me be silent to avoid betraying I'm from another country? How would that work if my job was serving people like OP…

          You'd have me be silent to avoid betraying I'm from another country? How would that work if my job was serving people like OP…

          You don't think I didn't hear anyone making fun of my Aussie accent? Or hear endless jibes about how hot Australian girls are? And trying to pass as Irish wouldn't have exactly helped. Irish may be white, but they are seen as another race. Where can I get me some of this so called white privilege that stops everyone from asking where you're from when you speak in another country…

          • Blargman2001 on 07/02/2024 - 23:48
            +3

            @AustriaBargain: The thing is Australian culture isn't seen as an 'outside' culture by Europeans so you're still in the 'white club' so to say. If a white person from say Austria, with an Australian accent, who was born here and had no connection to Austria was asked where they were from, and they said Australia, the questioning would generally stop there. An African or Asian person sometimes has to keep answering more questions and the thing is, it happens in your own home country, not in the UK or wherever. My English is more correct than the majority of the Australian people I meet day to day and people are still not happy when I tell them I'm from Australia. Do you see the difference now?

          • Blargman2001 on 07/02/2024 - 23:54
            +1

            @AustriaBargain: That's right you just acknowledged that it's not nice when they put down your Aussie accent. Imagine that happening in your own country every second day.

            • AustriaBargain on 08/02/2024 - 00:11

              @Blargman2001: I disagree. Except that the African migrant murdered that old lady still being fresh in the news, and the Sudanese youth crime recently, I think Australians have no issue with Africans. You must understand the hate for African Americans in the US isn't because they are from Africa or even because they are black, it's because they used to be slaves for half the country and they humiliatingly lost a war trying to keep them slaves. We don't have that kind of history with Africans in Australia, we don't have any history with Africans. If it weren't for the murder of that old lady and the violent youths then Australians wouldn't have any negative thought about Africans. Australians are much more hostile and hateful towards our own indigenous people actually.

              • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 00:19
                +1

                @AustriaBargain: Once in New York I went in to a Church's chicken late at night with my cousin who lived in the USA. As soon as we entered he saw it was full of African Americans scoffing down their chicken and he tensed up and wanted to leave. I stopped him because I really wanted Church's fried chicken (so much better than KFC) and asked him why. His reply was 'we were gonna get shot'. These innocent people enjoying their delicious fried chicken, who had done nothing wrong were treated extremely unfairly by my cousin. Micro-aggressions and treating people differently is the start of how this sort of thinking ingrains itself in society. Children aren't born racist, it's the little comments, jibes and things you see every day that build up to create the prejudice. Judge the person, not their race, religion or sex. Sure I'm guilty of judging certain races too and I'm actively trying to work against it, but until you acknowledge it's a thing, you aren't going to try to tame your prejudices.

                • AustriaBargain on 08/02/2024 - 00:41
                  +1

                  @Blargman2001: It's not so much to do with their skin being black or being from Africa in particular, but violence in Sudan is very normalised compared to many other countries. If it were Sweden that had the same environment then people might feel uneasy around pale blonde people with Swedish accents after reports of brutal unprovoked Swedish violence. In Australia murdering a grandmother for a 20 minute joyride in a 2007 Getz is pure raving psychopath behaviour. But if you were raised in Sudan from birth then you might not need to be a bonafide psychopath to think it could be normal behaviour. Sudan has a very tragic and pervasive history when it comes to violence and I do think Australia has a duty to help the situation, by taking in refugees from what really is one of the worst places on the planet. ChatGPT might explain the sensitive issue of violence being normalised in Sudan better:

                  In Sudanese culture, the normalization of violence is a complex issue influenced by historical, social, and political factors. While it is essential to recognize that generalizations can oversimplify a diverse culture, I’ll provide some insights based on available information:

                  Conflict and Civil War:
                  Sudan has experienced prolonged periods of conflict, including civil wars and ethnic tensions. These conflicts have perpetuated violence and normalized it within certain contexts.
                  The Darfur region, for instance, has been plagued by violence, with reports of ethnic massacres, displacement, and human rights violations. The ongoing conflict has led to significant loss of life and displacement of millions of people.

                  Cultural Norms and Gender-Based Violence (GBV):
                  Some cultural practices contribute to the normalization of violence. For instance:
                  Dowry/Bride Price: The practice of dowry or bride price can sometimes reinforce unequal power dynamics and contribute to violence against women.
                  Wife Beating: In some cases, wife beating is not viewed as a problem but rather accepted and tolerated.
                  Gender-based violence (GBV) is prevalent, with domestic violence being a common issue. Physical violence within households is often committed by husbands against wives or brothers against sisters.

                  Ideological Notions and Education:
                  Cultural violence can be perpetuated through ideological notions, educational systems, and language use. These aspects may support systems of inequality while masking awareness of those inequalities.
                  Educational policies and government practices play a role in shaping cultural norms. Changes in language use and educational content can impact how violence is perceived and perpetuated.

                  Ethnic and Political Tensions:
                  Ethnic tensions and political power struggles have contributed to violence in Sudan. Armed groups, paramilitaries, and government forces have clashed, leading to civilian casualties and displacement.
                  The Rapid Support Forces (RSF), for example, have been involved in conflicts with other armed groups, resulting in thousands of deaths and millions displaced.

                  Humanitarian Crisis and Genocide:
                  Sudan has faced humanitarian crises, including food insecurity, displacement, and inadequate access to basic services. These conditions exacerbate tensions and contribute to violence.
                  The UN has highlighted the brutality of the conflict, particularly in West Darfur, where a genocide has been reported.

                  In summary, Sudanese culture’s normalization of violence is a multifaceted issue influenced by historical events, cultural practices, and ongoing conflicts. Efforts to address violence require a comprehensive approach, including education, legal reforms, and community engagement. It is essential to recognize that many Sudanese individuals and communities actively work toward peace, reconciliation, and positive change despite the challenges they face.

                  • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 01:27
                    +1

                    @AustriaBargain: I agree murdering a grandmother for her car is definitely psycho, but whether the violence in Sudan contributed or not is a bit off topic from how constantly being asked where you're from can become a mental drain for some. I'll just leave you with something if you want to know more on how micro-aggressions affect people:

                    PubMed Google Search

                    • AustriaBargain on 08/02/2024 - 01:34
                      +1

                      @Blargman2001: You brought up racism against Africans. I’m sure most of the thousands of Sudanese in Australia aren’r violent, especially the women, but Sudanese men are more violent than the average men from other countries. I lived in the same building as some and at night they would fist fight outside, punching each other so hard you could hear the wind being knocked out of them. And I suppose that’s just normal where they were from in Sudan.

                      As for asking where someone is from, maybe it’s different where you’re from, but in Adelaide asking someone where they went to school a d what suburb they live is the most normal thing in the world. We want to know where everyone is from. If you’re white and have an obviously foreign or even out of state accent we’ll ask where you’re from. I even looked at your profile to satisfy my curiosity of where you are from.

                      • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 01:57
                        +4

                        @AustriaBargain: You're right, thousands of Sudanese in Australia aren't violent but a few have made you accept that being violent is normal behaviour for them. Australia has a domestic violence problem. Does that mean I should think Aussie males are all wife murderers? But Aussie culture is going to the pub and getting smashed, it should be normal to go home and give the wife a bit of a beating. See where this thinking fails.

                        Imagine this example from the perspective of a coloured person: You ask me where I'm from and I tell you Australia, the moment you say "where are you really from?" This goes through my mind: I've told you I'm Australian, I'm a citizen, I grew up here, my loyalty is here, I have no citizenship, ties or family anywhere else, but your words tell me you don't believe me. Imagine how annoying that becomes. If say in this example I was not Australian, but I live here, you're now actually telling me 'I see you're an outsider' and this can affect the perception some have of their identity or worse. Not every person is like this but why risk offending a stranger for no reason.

                        I'm from Adelaide too so here's another example that might make you see the perspective of a coloured person. Constantly questioning someones background is like asking someone from Elizabeth where they went to school and replying "no, where did you really go?" when they tell you they went to Pembroke.

                        • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 13:02
                          -1

                          @Blargman2001: Well said. AustriaBargain holding negative thoughts about Sudanese people based on a handful of incidents is textbook racism lol.

                          • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 13:06

                            @Autonomic: A handful?

                            People born in Sudan have the highest percentage imprisonment rate in Australia. The below link is from the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

                            Twist your way out of that.

                            Persons born in Sudan had the highest imprisonment rate (701.6 prisoners per 100,000 adult population born in Sudan), followed by persons born in Samoa (432.4 prisoners per 100,000 adult population born in Samoa). The number of Sudanese-born and Samoan-born prisoners was 131 and 100 respectively. (Table 21)

                            https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/lookup/by%20subject…

                            • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 14:37

                              @CurlCurl: Funny to be negged for precenting FACTS from the ABS.

                        • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 13:21

                          @Blargman2001: Australia has a domestic violence problem. Does that mean I should think Aussie males are all wife murderers?

                          That has to be the dumbest line this year on Ozb.

    • brendanm on 07/02/2024 - 23:29
      +1

      micro-aggression

      😂

  • gtech on 07/02/2024 - 22:06
    +4

    can't see 'snowflake' in the poll

  • IMadeYouReadThis on 07/02/2024 - 22:21

    may be you can ask where they are from originally, after all, we all (except the first nation/aboriginal) are immigrants of some sort.

  • jason101 on 07/02/2024 - 22:38
    +5

    I don't think it's racist but I do think its annoying. When I was younger I was asked the same question allot, usually followed by so your mum is from X and your dad is from Y, how does that work etc etc….. super, super annoying!

    Unless you are asked the "where are you from" question 2000x you really (in my opinion) don't understand what it feels like. Even if folks don't intend to offend, I often felt it was offensive.

    I complained to one of my (white) friends about it once and he said something like "well you do look like some kind of unique mongoloid so its natural people will ask you" - great!

    OP as you progress in life/career and deal less with the public and your peers become subordinates, fewer people will have the nerve to ask you, I think i'm down to 1 request/question per year now, but it used to be nearly daily experience for me in my 20's. Hang in there, in 20 years it will seem humorous, as it is to me now.

  • Sxio on 07/02/2024 - 22:48

    My wife is not white and has an accent and gets this ALL the time. She hates it, but I think puts it more down to ignorance than racism.

    I'm the same. It's just a super tone deaf and nosey thing to ask.

  • AustriaBargain on 07/02/2024 - 22:58

    Not at all racist. And most people have a fondness for their homeland and like talking about it. You should lean into your ancestry, that is a very Australian thing to do. I have a mate whose parents were born here and but they still consider themselves very Italian, conform to Italian stereotypes too, regularly vacation in Italy, all are members of the local Italian society, and most of his family can speak Italian. Ask them about where their people are from and they will talk your year off for hours about being Italian.

    It's often the same with many countries. There's an Egyptian Greek society near me and you see them all the time out the front smoking their hookas or whatever speaking whatever language they do. Another mate has a big American flag at the front of their house even though he's lived here since he was six years old. And I'm an Irish citizen with an Irish passport even though I've never been to Ireland.

    You shouldn't be ashamed of your original country. People are curious. If you had an English accent or any European accent they would ask you the exact same questions.

    • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 08/02/2024 - 13:42

      Ask them about where their people are from and they will talk your year off for hours about being Italian.

      Maybe they are not proud of where they come from and calling it racist makes them feel better?

    • us3rnam3tak3n on 08/02/2024 - 14:13

      And most people have a fondness for their homeland and like talking about it. You should lean into your ancestry…I'm an Irish citizen

      A little ironic that your moniker is Austrian then

      • AustriaBargain on 08/02/2024 - 14:47
        +1

        I'm a citizen of another country from another parent.

    • eek on 07/02/2024 - 23:14
      +3

      HAH! I do this too. When I used to work on-site I'd occasionally have a contractor meet me and be like: Hey, I thought you were Australian…to which I would reply: Yes, I am, you were correct. I'm not of Caucasian-looking heritage and don't speak English with an accent discernible from a 'local' Aussie.

    • AustriaBargain on 08/02/2024 - 13:47

      My parents are European, if I was asked where I'm really from I'd say Europe for sure. My parents strongly identify with their European ancestry and we have no roots in Australia at all. I'm equally a citizen of three countries and the only reason Australia is one of them is because I happen to have been born here. Could easily have been any other country.

  • JoeBogan on 07/02/2024 - 23:15
    +1

    Used to work in retail and was asked that question many times, never once found it racist, they were just genuinely curious. I now work in allied health and I ask a similar question to many people I see out of genuine curiosity. Chill out dude a large portion of people are just genuinely curious.

  • Epico on 07/02/2024 - 23:19

    I don’t think it’s racist at all. I like to ask people to learn more about their country or culture for if I travel there one day. I have had amazing suggestions for travel ideas and sometimes you learn something you didn’t know about their heritage or country.

    I think most of the time you’ll find people are just trying to start a conversation. Especially older customers.

    I worked in retail for a decade and I found that sometimes the conversations I have with my customers might possibly be the only interaction they have with someone all day.

    And hey, if you’re unhappy being asked all the time. Probably best to step away from retail. Because you are paid to smile, serve and ensure the customer has a good experience.

  • fredk1000 on 07/02/2024 - 23:25

    You must be attractive or your voice is special. I don't think anyone would care to ask otherwise.

  • Dack Smith on 08/02/2024 - 00:19
    +1

    So where are you from?

  • El cheepo on 08/02/2024 - 02:15
    +1

    Since when is personal interest racism?
    If you have an accent or strange name of course people are going to ask. Its small talk and easy conversation.

    If they start making negative assumptions or treating you poorly because of those things, then you can start to cry racism.

  • Fysh on 08/02/2024 - 03:24

    I'm white but actually look Italian , middle eastern tbh, if I am interested in a talk my default is "what's your culture or background. This doesn't assume that you aren't Aussie. But if people think it's bad I'll stop.

    I really should get a DNA test hahaha

  • Minimum chips on 08/02/2024 - 05:59
    +3

    Look, back in Canada that question would be considered racist. We thought Australians were pretty racist when we moved here (and they sometimes are, especially older people, and especially towards Aboriginal people). But the intention usually isn't actually bad.

    It comes down to the approach to multiculturalism. Canada's approach is "if you are become a citizen you can be X and Canadian, or just Canadian, and no-one can question it - you become as real a Canadian as someone born there". So if someone says "where are you from" it's implying you aren't a real Canadian because you sound or look different. It goes against that understanding.

    Australia doesn't have that understanding as much. If you are born somewhere else, you will always be "from there" even if you become a citizen. Second generation kids who sound Australian don't get the question as much, but for some older white people, the idea that non-white people can be "from" Australia is hard to grasp.

  • Dreamcast on 08/02/2024 - 06:29
    +2

    I always ask this question, as I'm genuinely intrigued about about which country people immigrated from and the differences between the two countries.

  • Jared17 on 08/02/2024 - 07:39

    My first reaction is probably curious. This is a white majority country and if the accent is unusual, people can be curious or busy body defo ending how you see it. I feel it harmless unless their next action turn out to be racist

  • iCandy on 08/02/2024 - 07:55
    +1

    I’m white and just returned from a visit to USA. I got asked where I was from all of the time because my accent isn’t Australian enough to be obvious where I’m from. You’re looking at this purely from a racist viewpoint. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

  • drewbytes on 08/02/2024 - 07:59
    +1

    My wife is very white, blonde, blue eyed and before she lost her Finnish accent people used to ask her all the time ‘where are you from? What’s your accent?’ Does that mean they were being racist to her?

  • larndis on 08/02/2024 - 08:02
    +1

    Most of the people answering "not racist" have not been in your position. It doesn't matter how they perceive these interactions; if it bothers you, that is valid.

    Clearly race/ethnicity/appearance is a factor in these questions. I would probably put it towards the low end of the racism spectrum.

    However, middle aged white guys commenting on this post to tell you that you are the problem - I would rate that somewhat higher.

    • Kayrhcp on 08/02/2024 - 08:07
      +4

      100%. The amount of comments saying ‘I’m white and I get asked this and don’t even care so it’s not racist!’ Is kinda cringe lmao

      • CurlCurl on 08/02/2024 - 16:08

        Most of the people answering "not racist" have not been in your position. It doesn't matter how they perceive these interactions; if it bothers you, that is valid.

        Clearly race/ethnicity/appearance is a factor in these questions. I would probably put it towards the low end of the racism spectrum.

        However, middle aged white guys commenting on this post to tell you that you are the problem - I would rate that somewhat higher.

        Clearly you and many others do not know the meaning of the wordRACIST. If you know what a dictionary is, and know how, you can look it up.

        • larndis on 08/02/2024 - 16:39
          +1

          Looked it up, it said 'Racism is defined by CurlCurl, any other opinion is WRONG'. Thanks for the pointer!

          • CurlCurl on 08/02/2024 - 18:29

            @larndis:

            Looked it up, it said 'Racism is defined by CurlCurl, any other opinion is WRONG'. Thanks for the pointer!

            Oh dear. We are not discussing right or wrong. I don't care who is right or wrong. The OP called it racism. By definition it is not racism.

            I would return you dictionary for a refund. That's if you have one.

    • Grunntt on 08/02/2024 - 15:53

      Most of the people answering "not racist" have not been in your position.

      Other than the ones who self-identify as white, how did you come to this conclusion?

      • larndis on 08/02/2024 - 16:40

        You got me, in the absence of data I took a stab in the dark

  • drewbytes on 08/02/2024 - 08:03
    +1

    Asking ‘where are you from?’ is curiosity and small talk. Asking ‘where are you from you b**** c***?’ is racism.

  • Kayrhcp on 08/02/2024 - 08:07
    +1

    Seems I’m in the minority but I do think it’s lowkey racist. It’s a question stemming from your ethnicity, so intentional or not, it comes from that place.

    But I also believe that sometimes people may ask this purely from a place of wanting to get to know you more, in an effort to learn more about you and find a connection and understanding that you can bond over.

    This topic is a common point of argument but I feel like there’s parts from both POVs that are true.

    • Grunntt on 08/02/2024 - 15:58

      Seems I’m in the minority but I do think it’s lowkey racist.

      Everything related to race is not racist.

      It’s a question stemming from your ethnicity, so intentional or not, it comes from that place.

      Are you saying that it is not possible to have any sort of conversation that involves someone's ethnicity without it being defined as racist?
      You really need to read the definition of what the word 'racist' actually means.

      • Kayrhcp on 10/02/2024 - 08:31

        Yeah I am. Is it as racist as punching someone cause they’re from another race? No. But I don’t see racism as a zero-sum-and-only-the-same-level-of-bad-in-every-instance thing.

        I know the definition of racism. This interpretation is mine. Don’t like it? Cool.

        • Grunntt on 10/02/2024 - 22:39

          So it is not possible to discuss anything that involves race, no matter what, as it is racist according to your interpretation?
          If you know the definition of racist then it is quite clear that your interpretation is totally and absolutely incorrect.
          It's not a matter of me not liking it - it's more a problem that you believe that your interpretation, which differs totally from the known definition, somehow makes you correct.

          Arguing that any mention of race is somehow racist is just you deciding that something cannot be discussed because your opinion differs from others.

          • Kayrhcp on 12/02/2024 - 08:44

            @Grunntt: Apologies. I misread your original comment. I don’t think ANY discussion revolving race is always, and must be, racism.

            But bringing it up out of the blue in a conversation with a stranger, based on how they look, where it’s not warranted or welcome, I mean, what other word is there to describe that?

            And I don’t think we should get hung up too much on interpretations of definitions but what I’m describing certainly fits within the definition of racism. Can you disagree? Sure, and I don’t care if you do, but that’s my black and white interpretation of the definition.

            • Grunntt on 13/02/2024 - 11:05

              @Kayrhcp:

              But bringing it up out of the blue in a conversation with a stranger, based on how they look, where it’s not warranted or welcome, I mean, what other word is there to describe that?

              Curiosity? Interest in another person? Trying to find something in common?

              Just as many people quickly jump to the 'racism' assumption, their are many people who accept this question as it was likely intended - trying to show an interest in someone else and a conversation starter.

              Still can't see how anyone can decide, before asking what they believe is a genuine harmless question, that it is unwelcome.
              Once informed that it's unwelcome then it is not the same as the first time and may possibly be one of a number of things the that person it was asked of is uncomfortable with.
              (A similar issue is harassment - the first time it's not, but if you repeat it after being informed it's unwelcome then it is.)

              And I don’t think we should get hung up too much on interpretations of definitions but what I’m describing certainly fits within the definition of racism. Can you disagree? Sure, and I don’t care if you do, but that’s my black and white interpretation of the definition.

              That sure looks to me like someone getting hung up on definitions.

              • Kayrhcp on 14/02/2024 - 11:52
                -2

                @Grunntt: If you want to bond with somebody and the only questions you can ask are based on someone’s skin and you ask just the following: “Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
                How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia?”
                Then that’s (profanity) racist man, sorry.

                We can argue about your incorrect semantics until the cows come home, but seriously if you disagree on the simplicity of the above, then we just need to agree to disagree and finish up here.

                • CurlCurl on 14/02/2024 - 12:49
                  +1

                  @Kayrhcp: It's obvious you haven't checked the word racist in your dictionary.

                  • Kayrhcp on 14/02/2024 - 19:59
                    -2

                    @CurlCurl: To be completely frank, if you don’t think the above comment of mine counts as racism, then I don’t really give a shit what you think a dictionary definition says to you. I’ve read the dictionary definition and believe that easily covers what this person experienced.

                    If you think that’s wrong, please paste the definition here and explain to me how the above doesn’t count as racism. Thanks in advance. Otherwise shut the (profanity) up and accept people have interpretations of things 🙄

                    • CurlCurl on 14/02/2024 - 20:27
                      +1

                      @Kayrhcp:

                      Otherwise shut the (profanity) up and accept people have interpretations of things

                      The dictionary leaves no room for yours or anyone else's interpretations.

                      To be completely frank, if you don’t think the above comment of mine counts as racism, then I don’t really give a shit what you think a dictionary definition says to you. I’ve read the dictionary definition and believe that easily covers what this person experienced.

                      Of course you would as that's your want.

                      Check the poll results. Must be nauseating for you being in the minority.

                      • Kayrhcp on 14/02/2024 - 20:56

                        @CurlCurl: If, after specifically being asked to do so, you’re unwilling to copy the definition here and explain how it somehow doesn’t cover this scenario, then you literally cannot prove the above wasn’t racist to me.

                        And regarding poll results, what? I literally acknowledged my opinion wasn’t the majority one in my first post on this thread. If it bothered me, do you think I’d be the only one in this argument (you included) that says ‘if you disagree with me that is your opinion, your right, and we’ll have to agree to disagree’?

                        Or do you think I’d go around trying to convince someone’s interpretation of a definition was wrong without, when asked, being willing to actually show the definition and explain why it’s wrong?

                        Lmao

                        • CurlCurl on 14/02/2024 - 21:11

                          @Kayrhcp:

                          If, after specifically being asked to do so, you’re unwilling to copy the definition here and explain how it somehow doesn’t cover this scenario, then you literally cannot prove the above wasn’t racist to me.

                          The dictionary definition has been posted on this thread many times. It's a worry if I have to explain it to you.

                          • Kayrhcp on 14/02/2024 - 21:49

                            @CurlCurl: Is there a specific reason why I have given you a clear path for you to change my opinion to yours and you’re not only unwilling to take it, you’re acting like it’s my fault?

                            If your goal is to change my opinion, here’s your avenue.
                            If your goal was never to actually enlighten me and just be a dipshit arguer, prove it by refusing to show me a definition that proves OP’s scenario above isn’t racist. Otherwise this is the last response you’ll get from me.

                            Thanks for proving me right in advance

  • arkanis50 on 08/02/2024 - 08:20

    I guess it's mostly about context, which you will never entirely know. I have friends who have travelled all around the globe and can speak multiple languages and love to ask people who are not locals where they are from because undoubtedly they have some boring story they want to relay or mention they have been to such and such, or 'do you know such and such'. Then you have people who are just genuinely interested, especially people from smaller, less diverse towns/cities. Then there probably are people who want to know because they might be prejudiced against foreigners or people with certain skin colours.

  • happylime on 08/02/2024 - 08:22
    +1

    As a white immigrant living in Australia, I speak with an accent. While I don't work in customer service, I sometimes get this question from random people.
    There is nothing racist about it and I believe in most cases people are genuinely curious, but it is annoying/uncomfortable. It makes me feel unwelcome and alienated.

    • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 10:46
      +4

      If you grew up non white in Australia in the 80s and 90s there was a high chance the next statement after “where are you from” is “go back to where you came from!” Or they would then make mocking noises like “Ching Chong Ching” and slant their eyes. That’s why some people associate the question “where are you from” to be racist because of what inevitably comes next

      • us3rnam3tak3n on 08/02/2024 - 14:12

        Does this still happen or are most people more mature now?

        • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 14:15
          +4

          Sometimes it still happens unfortunately. Usually when someone is drunk and then afterwards they said “oh I’m so sorry it was the alcohol”. But I don’t think alcohol makes you do something that is inherently against your real personality.

          Also on the train after a sporting match is common. Esp if an Asian country is playing Australia and you get comments like “I’m sorry your team lost” (if Australia won) even when I’m decked out in Australia gear

          Just the other day this Asian old man was walking down the street and this bunch of maybe 16-17 year old girls sitting on the bench started yelling out “meow meow yum yum” as he walked past them

          • us3rnam3tak3n on 08/02/2024 - 14:26
            +1

            @illusion99:

            I don’t think alcohol makes you do something that is inherently against your real personality.

            Agree

            Also on the train after a sporting match is common. Esp if an Asian country is playing Australia and you get comments like “I’m sorry your team lost” (if Australia won)

            tbf that's the same between AFL clubs. I don't think it's racially motivated.

            • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 14:30
              +2

              @us3rnam3tak3n: It’s is when you are clearly wearing clothes indicating which team you still support and they still assume you are barracking for the Asian team

              • Ghost47 on 08/02/2024 - 19:38
                +2

                @illusion99: White people in Australia still think they're superior to Asians. It's just the way it is. Some hide it very well, disturbingly so but others are quite outwardly about it in an unsophisticated ape-like way (e.g. those teen girls).

              • us3rnam3tak3n on 10/02/2024 - 15:32

                @illusion99:

                wearing clothes indicating which team you still support and they still assume you are barracking for the Asian team

                Yep, I misread your comment above. I understand now and agree with you.

            • larndis on 10/02/2024 - 08:18

              @us3rnam3tak3n: @us3rnam3tak3n How is it the same between AFL clubs? Are people assumed to barrack for a particular team based on their assumed ethnicity?

              • us3rnam3tak3n on 10/02/2024 - 15:31

                @larndis: No, I meant that you will hear “I’m sorry your team lost” regardless of race.

                I realise my mistake now - @illusion99 was saying that it's assumed they supported the Asian nation because of their appearance. That is definitely ignorant and casually racist.

          • eek on 09/02/2024 - 09:45
            +1

            @illusion99: Same as me. Kids in primary school in the early 90's had a lot of racist jokes. Moving onto adulthood, it 100% still happens. Years ago when I was at Australia Day fireworks in Perth and Brisbane had at least 5-6 different people yell racist remarks at me saying something along the lines of: "This is Australia Day, not China day" (I'm not Chinese either, lol). Racism it truly alive and well, regardless of how well people say they aren't racist or hide it. It's just the way it is.

          • Speckled Jim on 09/02/2024 - 10:12

            @illusion99:

            “meow meow yum yum”

            A: Covid-19 residue.
            B: Irresistible man-meat.
            C: Racisms.
            D: All the above.

  • NoisyMiner on 08/02/2024 - 08:30

    You can choose to be normal and say “why do you ask this question?” You can over analyse or just get a direct answer. Can’t live your life assuming if someone is racist when they ask about you, that means you’re judging people yourself. I polled “people are nosey”, doesn’t have to be about your race, people just have an itch to know.

    OzSocialAnxiety?

  • 82norm on 08/02/2024 - 08:31

    When I use to catch cabs a lot for work, I’d would be guaranteed that for every 3rd cabbie I’d be ask a similar question. I do think it’s just small talk. Ironically, none of these cabbies were of Anglo Saxon origin ! Lot of people of the older generation and other ethnic background also don’t apply filters when speaking and would not even think the questions could be deemed offensive or racist. Just consider it novel and people just be curious about you.

  • kiwimex on 08/02/2024 - 08:32
    -3

    Definitely not racist at all….to even think so, is just ridiculous.

    That said my pet peeves about retail workers………..1) being asked if I need help, 2) Following you round the store, 3) Asking you if you have much planned for the rest of the day / weekend. 4) Being asked how's your day going, 5) Would you like to add this to your purchase…………..You see where this is going…..!

  • Sinnerator on 08/02/2024 - 08:32

    Everytime I have travelled overseas, over 30 countries so far, I get asked A LOT where I am from by the locals. It's a pleasant conversation starter and yes they are just being naturally curious and friendly.
    I am not triggered because I am neither woke nor an (profanity).

    • kiwimex on 08/02/2024 - 08:33

      100% This!

  • porsche26c on 08/02/2024 - 08:32

    Your just sensitive. Not racist at all. I use it as a point of conversation when I meet someone new and have chats about their origin, why they came to Aus for love or work and how they have found the change. People just like to chat about everything.

  • wednesdayfaye on 08/02/2024 - 08:36
    +11

    I find it's not necessarily racism, but depending on the circumstances it's a fair amount of ignorance. I'm ethnically Chinese, born and raised in Australia, my Australian English is perfect (to the point that it drove a couple racist idiots into the toilet to avoid me because they couldn't argue my English was "monkey talk"), but I've been asked a lot of "where are you from?". The logical conclusion would be that I'm Australian, but it's not. People see me as "different" and so they ask. If I say I'm Australian then some get huffy and ask where my parents are from, or the classic "where you are from from", and that's when it gets dodgy.

    If you have an accent, it gets a bit iffy, because you're clearly "Not From Around Here". I think a more tactful question would be "where is your accent from?", but tactfulness is a skill and not everyone has it. This can also lead to "Oh I've been to China once I love Chinese food", or "Oh my wife is Chinese nihao" which to me is so much more annoying, and much more of a tokenism/racism thing (and has always come from white people).

    Just my two cents as someone who is Not White. Anyone who thinks you're being too sensitive is plain kidding themselves (or doesn't face this kind of microaggression). You have every right to be annoyed about this, because presumably you're not here on holiday (where you can just Go Home and it all stops), and it's something you'll be facing as long as you seem "different".

    Another sneak edit: Also to the people saying "it's a nice topic starter", have you considered that OP is at work and not going out for a night at a pub with some new friends?

  • ausginnygin on 08/02/2024 - 08:49

    @ Scrooge McDeal This is just a casual racism. Happens to everyone even in proper office setup.
    As society we have a long way to go . I dont think White/Pale accept it , because they never felt it.

  • jerjergege on 08/02/2024 - 08:55
    -1

    Patriotism is racist.

  • Art Vandaley on 08/02/2024 - 08:59

    I was born in Australia although worked/lived in a non English speaking country for 10 years I learnt their language which I learnt from my first day there. At least a couple of times every week somebody would ask me 'where I was from'. Did I mind? No as I could tell they were curious. Was it annoying?, Yes after the first 50 or so times it did get a bit boring answering this question. Btw I worked as a receptionist in a Hotel hence the everyday interactions. And to the most important question' were they being racist? Definitely no as I did receive racism although not from these inetactions

  • ForkSnorter on 08/02/2024 - 09:00

    People like knowing things. It helps clarify their world.

    Knowing where someone comes from is one of the most basic, fundamental things you can know about them. It helps put your knowledge of them in context.

    My neighbours are white Australians, but even so, one of the first things I wanted to know about them is where in Australia they came from. Where did they grow up, etc. Is this racist?

    When I worked overseas in Europe and Asia, people always asked me where I came from. It was often the first question about me. Was it racist?

    I don't have a 100% typical Australian accent because I worked overseas for a few years and had friends from all over the world. So, some Australians ask me where I come from, even though I grew up here. Is that racist?

    What if your customer is from another country and they want to know which country you came from. Is this racist?

    Knowing where someone comes from is a question of great interest to many people.

    If you work in an office environment where you see the same people every day, you will not get questions like this very often.

    But if you work in retail, you have to expect there will be situations where people you don't know ask you questions. You definitely can't stop people asking you questions. It's just part of the job. If it bothers you that much, I would consider changing careers. Otherwise, just accept it and find peace with it. Every job has things that you won't like. You accept them, or you move on.

  • lilbudgie on 08/02/2024 - 09:08

    I am probably one of those nosy people that ask. From the other side I ask because I am genuinely interested and find it exciting to learn about other nationalities and the real story and find it usually a more fun interaction than just the boring "g'day how ya going" and not expecting an answer or "it looks like rain today". Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it was racist. I know if I was in another country and someone asked me about my accent or mannerisms I would probably bore them senseless with information and aussie slang. I would be actually chuffed that someone was interested enough or found me interesting enough to ask. From now on I will have to curb my enthusiasm for the exotic if it does actually come across as racist.

    • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 10:40

      Do you ask that to everyone or just people who don’t look like a white Australian? If you also ask that to a white blonde dude then sure not racist.

      • lilbudgie on 08/02/2024 - 10:51

        Obviously if someone is not Aussie like if I detect a hint of an accent or looks a little foreign. I have had great convo's with Irish, German and Scottish people who probably look aussie until they open their mouth. Thinking about it I only ask if I actually like the person and how they have treated me. If they are grumpy and rude I would just get rid of them as quick as possible with no banter and barely a smile but if they are happy and look friendly I might have a passing conversation with them so to answer your question I have also asked a blonde white dude that turned out to be Swedish and probably plenty of others too. I love listening to Irish people and have extended family that are Chinese/Malay so at family get togethers I love having conversations with their extended families too about where they come from and trying all their meals and cooking. I am just a curious sort of person or as I have been alerted to probably very nosy

        • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 10:57

          And then if the Swedish person says they are from Japan do you get all confused and say 'but no really where are you from from?"
          Because that's what asian people have to go through if they say they are from a western country. They ask but they don’t like the answer half the time

          • lilbudgie on 08/02/2024 - 12:47

            @illusion99: If they said that I would be even more interested then as they must have an interesting back story but wouldn't they just say they were from Japan originally and not Sweden because I wouldn't know they were Swedish unless they said that "I am Swedish but I come from Japan?

            • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 13:22

              @lilbudgie: lol so being nosy

              • lilbudgie on 08/02/2024 - 13:45

                @illusion99: funny true story, my brother in law is third generation Chinese/Malaysian. He looks very asian right down to the slight build and asian features. He is aussie through and through and can't speak a word of any other language. He went on a holiday with his brother to Kuala Lumpur and they were often treated badly by the locals because they assumed he could understand them and knew their customs so it goes both ways other countries are far less tolerant of foreigners than us aussies

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