Customers Asking Where I am From. Do You Find it Racist?

Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:28
Last edited 09/02/2024 - 14:11

Hey everyone! I haven't posted a forum post for a while. I work in retail (I won't say where) and I have people/customers asking me where I am from.
I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.
To give you context, this are not regular customers that I have interactions everyday. This are random first time customers.

What do you think?

Racist or not racist.

Also I would like your input on how you would reacted if something like this occurs daily to you.

Edit: Thanks to scrimshaw for sharing this article. Although I respect people's opinion, I would suggest people reading this article that might change the way you think.

Poll Options

  • 145
    Definitely Racist
  • 670
    Not Racist
  • 953
    Just nosy/curious people
Education & Work

Comments

                  • lilbudgie on 08/02/2024 - 13:57

                    @illusion99: No my husband's sister married a Chinese/Malaysian man. ergo my brother in law

  • Lensta on 08/02/2024 - 09:14

    It’s the total opposite for me. Nobody seems to care where I’m from and it gives me the impression that they are not interested to listen to my point of view or perhaps couldn’t be bothered with anything that goes on outside of Australia. That’s an even sadder feeling

  • idonotknowwhy on 08/02/2024 - 09:27

    I didn't notice you're a knock-off of this user at first. I was so confused because he'd never be so precious over something like this lol

  • smartazz104 on 08/02/2024 - 09:30
    +2

    Just ask them "who is your daddy and what does he do?"

  • cunningdrew on 08/02/2024 - 09:54
    +4

    I drove Uber for about 3 months between jobs.

    I am caucasian, middle age and drive a VW with leather seats.

    Every second person asked "hey man, why the hell are you driving Uber?"

    This was definitely casual racism, as some even said they expected an Indian in a Camry to rock up.

    • leiiv on 08/02/2024 - 10:43
      +1

      That is stereotyping, they feel weird when the reality gives them unexpected things. But the reality is, exceptions are the norm.

      • Ghost47 on 08/02/2024 - 19:48

        they feel weird when the reality gives them unexpected things.

        This is an interesting comment because other replies in this thread are from people who say that they are (or someone they know) White with a foreign accent also gets questioned on where they're from which could probably be triggered from unexpectedly hearing a different accent than what they were expecting. I would say that could actually pique a sincere curiosity about someone else, and not be due to a curiosity trying to profile someone to stereotype them.

    • Ghost47 on 08/02/2024 - 19:40

      So… why the hell are you driving an Uber? Just kidding.

  • juki on 08/02/2024 - 10:00

    in a country full of immigration over generations its just small talk - bloody heck, i'm as white as a baby's butt and i get asked where i'm from

  • 900dollaridoos on 08/02/2024 - 10:18
    +2

    The sad thing about posts like these is it will slowly erode peoples identity.
    Most people light up when yoi show a bit of genuinely interest in the background or culture, just like I'm happy to discuss australia when i travel.

    Ive made many genuine connection and friends by using culture as talking point, "thats a beautiful kirpan mate" type thing. These days I'm much more hesitant.

  • 2esc on 08/02/2024 - 10:31
    +1

    In 99% of cases its not racism if its completely random i would say just nosey curious people. Try to look at it as people trying to engage and have a conversation with you as long as its in a polite conversation.

  • xsacha on 08/02/2024 - 10:34

    I also get asked where I am from and I'm 4th generation Caucasian Australian. They usually want to know my European ancestry

  • leiiv on 08/02/2024 - 10:39
    +1

    Would you feel the same if people asks "Do you speak other language than English?"

  • richrichie on 08/02/2024 - 10:42
    +6

    Asking the first "where are you from?" in the context of a small talk is probably not racist. Keep asking "where are you REALLLLLY from?" or "but, where were your parents from?" is micro-aggression.

    It is clear the person being asked does not appreciate the question once they give you those "I am Australian"-kind of answers. People should just stop there, accept the answer and move on. Why do people feel they are so entitled to know about everyone's ethnicity?

    Those that are happy to engage in the conversation will give you the answer you want, like majority of people commenting in this thread. But people should accept not everyone is obligated to disclose their full ethnicity to random strangers.

    • OzBarAnon on 08/02/2024 - 22:20

      Depends. I'm not white, but born in Australia, so naturally I would answer "here." If they clarify by asking my ethnicity/background, then I just take it that they're curious. I've actually found that more foreigners ask that type of question than white Australians. Of course if someone asked "where are you REALLY from?" that implies that my answer was untruthful and I would take some offense to that.

  • idalla on 08/02/2024 - 10:54
    +1

    Depends if there’s an accent imo. I think it’s basically racist to ask someone who sounds as if they grew up here where they’re from—that’s based on racial appearance alone. The question could be different—what’s your background or whatever. Asking someone with a clear accent where they are from is indelicate, but they then likely are from elsewhere in truth, so I struggle to think that question is categorically racist.

  • Nebargains on 08/02/2024 - 10:57
    +1

    Gee some people are sensitive little souls these days.

  • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 10:58
    +5

    Half the thread are coloured people telling you it's annoying/tone-deaf. The other half are white people telling them they shouldn't feel that way. Like telling someone how they should feel has ever worked.

    • OzBarAnon on 08/02/2024 - 22:21

      I'm "coloured" and I don't mind at all

  • HangryCakeStore on 08/02/2024 - 11:07

    If you want to find proof of racism, it’s was already triggered a lot during COVID times,

    Like covid was ticket for you to hate? But you’re just internally racist hun.

  • OzzyOzbourne on 08/02/2024 - 11:13

    How ridiculous, it's just normal conversation. Most people in Australia are from somewhere overseas, it's a very common question and a great talking point.
    Don't be a snowflake, be proud of where you are from and be grateful people are making the effort to talk to you.
    I often get asked because of my accent and pale skin and it's a great conversation starter. When I go overseas I get asked even more often and I don't think they are racist.
    My wife is oriental and also often gets asked and she loves telling people about her country.
    Then again, we haven't chosen "victim" as our "brand" (nod to southpark).

    • illusion99 on 08/02/2024 - 22:23
      +2

      Because you and your wife probably didn’t grow up in a country (hint that country is Australia) where the question “where are you from” had a very high likelihood of being followed up by more aggressive and obvious racist mocking and abuse. Even though that doesn’t happen too much now, a lifetime of hearing that question and being abused straight after has an effect. So have some empathy for people who don’t like that question

      Has your wife ever had this interaction? This happened so many times growing up

      1. Where you from
      2. China
      3. Oh that person over there is also from China. Do you want me to go introduce you so you can go get married?!
  • Kurutta on 08/02/2024 - 11:18
    +9

    It might be annoying for you, and i know all too well being a Hong Kong born australian. I have an Australian accent but people still ask me where I'm from, it doesn't bother me one bit as there's no ill intent.

    However can I ask which part of these questions do you think is racist? Are they showing prejudice towards your race? Were they being discriminatory? Or were they antagonistic? Because these are the definition of being a racist.

    If they are just being curious, they just don't know, not familiar or naive about your ethnicity. There's no ill will and should not be tagged as a racist.

    • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 13:09
      +1

      But what about the dozen+ people on here that it does bother? They should stop getting annoyed because you aren't? What if I said men should just keep glaring at women because usually there's no I'll intent and some actually don't mind? But you know the ones that find it uncomfortable should just suck it up. Like telling people to harden up solves everyones problems /s

      • Kurutta on 08/02/2024 - 13:28

        Did I tell anyone not to feel bothered? No. Did I tell anyone not to be annoyed? No. I didn't tell them they should not be offended, in fact I also agreed that it can be annoying. I have my own experience and reaction so why are you offended by my own personal views? I actually grew up in Australia dealing with a lot of racism, with my first day of school of fellow students telling me a racist joke, drunks yelling racial slurs at me on the street and then even coming into fights with skin heads during my high school days. Who are you to write off my own personal views?

        Having said that the main question from OP is, are they really racist? People should understand the definition of a racist/racism and then determine if these people are ticking any of these traits.

        • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 13:48
          +2

          Because your personal view is also writing off the views of others. Discrimination starts by 'othering' people who seem different.

          • Kurutta on 08/02/2024 - 13:59

            @Blargman2001: I don't believe I have at all but if you're dead serious, do you realise that you're trying to write my views off base on your personal view. How are you any better here?

            I think we need to understand that everyone has their own views and opinion. If you don't like, that's perfectly fine but don't write us off just because it doesn't fit in to your own narrative. If you think someone asking about your ethnicity is being racist, fine but that's not my view.

            Also, definition of discrimination is the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability. Were they doing anything unjust or prejudicial during that conversation? How is people being curious about someone's ethnicity considered "othering"?

            • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 14:15
              +1

              @Kurutta: Isn't debate about having opposing views? If you're going to take it personally don't get in the fire.

              Anyway if you want to see why this question is loaded and that your 'opinion' runs contrary to facts, these articles explain it better than I can in a forum post (second article is a summary of a meta analysis by an academic):

              Harvard Business Review
              And one more

              • Kurutta on 08/02/2024 - 14:37

                @Blargman2001: huh, I didn't know we were debating. I'm just giving my opinion, which OP literally asked for, and you're trying to tell me i'm wrong.

                I remember a quote from the book "7 habits of highly effective people" and it says "Between the stimulus and the response is our greatest power—we have the freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”. I chose not to let words offend me, you and the dozen+ also have the same freedom to choose however you want to react.

                • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 15:02
                  +2

                  @Kurutta: I'm beating my head against the wall creating awareness so that the future Asian and people of colour don't have to go through what you did growing up. Not everyone has their shit together as well as you do to choose how they react to a situation, so awareness needs to be created of how these things are actually worse than blatant racism.

                  • Kurutta on 08/02/2024 - 15:19

                    @Blargman2001: It's good to find a good cause to pursue but one also need to know when they're going a bit too extreme. It's probably because I've experienced true racism that I know when something is not. In this case (OP's post), it's not and is likely stemmed from curiosity.

                    Every situation is different and we shouldn't label someone racist so easily. Raising awareness is only good when it's done correctly and accurate education is provided to the community. I certainly don't want the next generation to label everyone a racist just because they're not happy with how someone asks them a particular question. Then no one can talk to anyone anymore without thinking they're stepping of egg shells.

                    • Blargman2001 on 08/02/2024 - 15:34

                      @Kurutta: So what part about the summary of the academic paper I presented backing up the accuracy of my claim is not educated? I work in the health field and I can tell you more and more research is coming out every day about the effects of insidious discrimination on people of colour to back me up. Major corporations and governments worldwide are adopting inclusive policies that reflect that as well.

                      • rumblytangara on 08/02/2024 - 20:27

                        @Blargman2001: I would take those articles with a grain of salt, because they are from the US where race issues are absolutely huge and constant factors in the media and everyday life. To a very unhealthy extent- people are constantly drumming on the subject and the disparities are immediately visible to short term visitors.

                        I have relatives and in-laws throughout the country who present as Asian and Hispanic. They're on both coasts and middle America. One of them studied sociology at university you're quoting, and holds an academic position in the field in her current (midwest) university. I've been through a large chunk of the country and lived there briefly.

                        The historical tensions, and the present day tensions, are very different from what I have observed here. Race, like so many other aspects of society, are a huge mess there compared to Australia. And the accompanying constant conversations are, in my opinion, unhealthy.

                        • Blargman2001 on 09/02/2024 - 00:46

                          @rumblytangara: Australia has a race problem that's almost as complex as America's. Remember we had the state sanctioned mass murder of Aboriginals and the White Australia policy. Only in maybe the last 40 years has there been any real attempt to address the matter of racism in this country. The Americans started trying to work it out long before we did which is why the majority of the body of research is done there. Having said that insidious bias is cross cultural and there needs to be awareness of it here too. You can see just from a casual poll on a bargain site that at least 80 people find OP's predicament racist and at least half the poll find it nosy. Imagine how many people you'd find if you actually went looking for them? It's a real issue here in Australia.

                          • rumblytangara on 09/02/2024 - 09:27

                            @Blargman2001: Yes, racism is a real issue here, I am well familiar with it.

                            Australia has a race problem that's almost as complex as America's.

                            Absolutely not. Nowhere near as complex or as severe.

                            • Blargman2001 on 09/02/2024 - 16:06

                              @rumblytangara: If you're going to question the evidence presented then what is your stance on subtle racial bias and what is your evidence apart from 'American studies might not apply here'?

                              • rumblytangara on 09/02/2024 - 16:17

                                @Blargman2001: My stance is, frankly, not relevant. The issue is too nuanced for forum digression, and different here than most other places I have lived in. I am taking exception to the extreme hyperbole comparing the situation in the US and Australia, and the reliance on of HBR articles which are very much in the context of the clusterf that country has for race relations.

                                • Blargman2001 on 09/02/2024 - 16:54

                                  @rumblytangara: OK sure I'll give you that the USA is (profanity) up vs here. Almost everything we know about psychology and society in western countries comes from Europe and the USA. Cross cultural validation has been done on many of their findings. To dismiss research that is happening in the USA because they have more problems than we do as not relevant to here is minimising the research. Subtle race bias is relevant cross culturally.

      • CurlCurl on 08/02/2024 - 15:39

        What if I said men should just keep glaring at women

        I don't glare. I observe, but only if they are stunning.

  • LurkingLurker on 08/02/2024 - 11:36

    Reminds me of a clip from a documentary I watched recently https://youtu.be/l-hMEk6iFLU?si=gHbR0N-68rHox5J-&t=104

  • CurlCurl on 08/02/2024 - 11:36

    A number of years ago my lady friend and I called into a Maccas in Madison Alabama. young black guy serving us said, ** 'and where are you all from.'**

    Is that racist?

  • joelmuzz on 08/02/2024 - 11:38

    Scottish ancestory Australian visits London, gets asked "where are you from"… RACISM!

  • munecito on 08/02/2024 - 11:43
    +4

    I'm South American, my skin is dark, I have been in Australia for 21 years. I have a strong accent and a first name that in English sounds like a female name.

    People always ask me where I'm from, the more adventurous try to guess and usually fail. Then is the name question.

    Not once I have given it second thoughts. Not once I thought it was racist.

    I dealt with many people in my previous job.

    If you want to go through life thinking you are surrounded by racists, then you will find racism everywhere.

    I have encountered about 4 real racists in 21 years. You will know when someone is really racist.

    Most Australians are just nosey and love to chat. Just grow a thicker skin.

  • Papa Huggies on 08/02/2024 - 11:50
    +2

    I had a call with a new client (I'm in engineering consulting) looking for advice on a small job near Byron. We had a half-hour convo and I was like "yeah send an email over and we can get the ball rolling", and my email contains my surname (Huang, or as I say it now, Hotel Uniform Alpha November Golf).

    He immediately stops and goes, "wait… are you Asian?"

    I think to some people it might be racist, but I usually gather from the tone and it seemed like he was just surprised, not offended or hostile. Just laughed it off and say "yeah but I was raised here, so my Cantonese sounds like a white guy's".

    Just don't be so easily offended mate.

  • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 08/02/2024 - 11:50

    It never ceases to amaze me why people moving to this country never stop to ask themselves whether they are a good fit for this culture or not?

    We never seemed to have issues of racism before mass immigration yet we had people of of other cultures with us.

    Now we have people so sensitive of racial issues that you cant even take an interest in where they originated from.

    • larndis on 10/02/2024 - 08:28

      No racism before mass immigration? Are you bloody serious? I think you are confusing the occurrence of racism with the acceptance of racism.

      Australia, like everywhere else, has always had a problem with racism.

      • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 09:05

        Are you bloody serious?

        Of course he/she is being bloody serious. Yes it was the mass immigration . That's when the rot began.

        We now have murderous Lebanese drug lord gangs killing each other and innocent people over territory. We have tobacconist shops and gyms being torched in Sydney and Melbourne, again by Lebanese gangs.

        We have Sudanese stabbing a grandmother to death and stealing her car in a shopping centre car park. Man stabbed to death in Adelaide an THIRTEEN SUDANESE arrested.

        The rot has well and truely set im.

        NSW, VIC. SA and Qld have massive problems with Sudanese gangs.

        I don't know how you are but when I was a teenager I had many ethnic friends. Italian, Maltese, Dutch, Yugoslav, Greek, Indian. My maternal grandfather was Polish/Ukraine. As I grew older I had many Cambodian and Vietnamese friends. My sister had Russian friends.

        • larndis on 10/02/2024 - 09:11

          Data on the occurrence of racism in Australia?

          • CurlCurl on 10/02/2024 - 11:21

            @larndis:

            Data and statistics on anything are worth squat. People can and do tell the interviewer anything including BS they want to.

            You see headlines: 56% of Australia want XYZ done. Read further and 4,674 were asked. All that does is confirm that
            56% of 4,874 want XYZ done.

            To get every geographical variance in OZ is impossible.

            • larndis on 12/02/2024 - 14:43

              @CurlCurl: Ok so no data then - just your say so that there used to be no racism then it suddenly exploded with increased immigration. Righto

      • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 12/02/2024 - 12:21

        If your statements were true there would be no immigration at all.

        Australia has to be one of the least racist countries in the world.

        But we are letting in racist people in their thousands. Hence my statements.

        • larndis on 12/02/2024 - 14:50

          Sorry, what? Which statements?

          On what basis does Australia 'have to be' one of the least racist countries?

          Mate, the racists are right here, in this thread. It's likely true that they are not First Nations, and therefore migrants or their descendants.

          • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 13/02/2024 - 07:26

            @larndis: If Australia had a problem with racism we would simply not allow immigration on any level. Similar to Japan. But we let every man and his dog into the place. We are too welcoming.

            Aboriginals are not racist? Immigrants are not racist? I think you are living under a rock.

            The question is why on gods green earth would you move to a "racist" country and then claim racism?! It makes no sense! That is unless you're being predatory towards the natives.

            • larndis on 13/02/2024 - 08:28

              @OBEY YOUR MASTERS: What? Did I make any claims about any groups not being racist?

              Obviously racism has always existed in Australia, as everywhere else. All your yelling about immigration doesn't change that at all.

              • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 09:34
                +1

                @larndis:

                Obviously racism has always existed in Australia

                As it does in every country in the world.

                • larndis on 13/02/2024 - 11:59

                  @CurlCurl: Agreed, hence my surprise that you and the original commenter were claiming it was a new issue.

              • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 13/02/2024 - 11:59
                +1

                @larndis: Yeah I think not. We all know that claims of racism are focused against one race in particular. A race that tends not to fight back against these claims.

                No, my point about immigration is valid. We are too welcoming and too tolerant. If we were indeed racist as you say we simply would not allow massive population increase and a changing demographic. It's an argument you can't deny.

                • larndis on 13/02/2024 - 12:09

                  @OBEY YOUR MASTERS: Mate I can't follow you at all, one minute we're all racist, then not at all, or it's only the immigrants that brought racism with them.

                  Definitely got that you don't like immigrants though, so you can stop repeating that part.

                  If I had to guess, it sounds like your theory goes something like:

                  any amount of migrant intake = proof the country has zero racism

                  Wow, very impressive and thorough analysis!

                  • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 13/02/2024 - 19:01
                    +1

                    @larndis: Let me connect the dots for you.

                    The reason you don't like my point about mass immigration is because it's very difficult to argue against. That's why you said I was "yelling" about it. You also said that I "don't like immigrants" and also "you can stop talking about it now". You did not make a coherent argument against it.

                    You also straw-manned me with this little beauty - "any amount of migrant intake = proof the country has zero racism".

                    At the end of the day "racist" is a made up word that people like you use to manipulate others. The word is losing its meaning and people like me no longer care about it. Nasty names can't beat facts.

                    The OP's family is new to the country and for some reason he thought that he would never have to prove himself to anyone here. He even used the word "racist" in order to get around this. Really I don't know what to tell you… It's the same anywhere you go. People will test you to see what you're all about. This goes back to my original statements about being a good fit for the culture. You really have two options, you can try to fit in or try to manipulate others.

                    • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 19:51

                      @OBEY YOUR MASTERS: Brilliant post.

                    • larndis on 13/02/2024 - 21:41

                      @OBEY YOUR MASTERS: You two are cooked, neither one of you have provided a shred of evidence that we had no problem with racism before mass immigration. @CurlCurl has agreed that it has always existed.

                      What 'point' do you think you made that is very difficult to argue against? All I read is ranting.

    • maverickjohn on 13/02/2024 - 22:03

      I don't entirely agree with this.. I remember the Maltese and Chinese were targeted in the gold rush era back in early 1900s.
      It has been around for some time.. but in all honesty the op is being a little sensitive. I really don't understand what was racist about asking where you come from… It's not that big of a deal.

      • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 14/02/2024 - 17:27
        +1

        I see where you're coming from but I don't think the Chinese were targeted specifically because of their race. People fighting over resources is a story as old as time itself. The Chinese came for the gold and the locals simply would not have it. Perhaps they were even more adept at finding and mining gold who knows? I seriously doubt they were targeted because "We hate Chinese people".

        Anyway, as a result of all of this the government(s) of the time implemented the Immigration Restriction Act. The importance of immigration cannot be understated. It needs to be a controlled amount and for specific reasons. We will have to learn these lessons all over again and to the detriment of everyone.

        • maverickjohn on 14/02/2024 - 17:36

          I still thing we are the luckiest of countries and I was one of the people who said no we aren't racist. Because I think this place has such a multicultural group and we do so many things to ensure all cultures are equally addressed. Even though we have so many troublesome cultures here. My background is Lebanese but I'd rather be dead than identify as a Lebanese. I've always considered myself an Aussie.i was born and raised here and consider myself lucky enough. But if someone asks me my background I tell them Lebanese but consider myself Australian.
          I guess I mean to say racism is inherent everywhere but we are still the better country with managing cultural diversity

          • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 14/02/2024 - 18:01
            +1

            @maverickjohn: You seem like a good bloke. We probably all have a bit of a mix in our heritage. I have a mostly English heritage but I know there is a Chinese woman (maybe even from the goldrush era) and an Indian woman in there back quite a few generations.

            I am not a fan of multi-culturism. I think that's a made up term from politicians who care more about their elitist-globalist mates than they do about their constituents. However, as long as we have a single dominant culture with shared values that we consider important to us there is plenty of room for people to remember the "old country" and spend time with other people from there.

            I would say that "racism" is a made up term by leftists. "Xenophobia" and "tribalism" maybe, but they exist for a reason and have useful aspects to them as well. History is full of examples.

            • maverickjohn on 14/02/2024 - 19:30

              @OBEY YOUR MASTERS: Just looked at my post and will hide my head in shame with my typo but thank you.. I consider myself quite a respectful person. But I also agree. That a dominant culture needs to be present. And the values aligned to it. The moment we start catering for all forms of cultures is the moment anarchy takes place..
              I think multiculturalism is a group of siloed cohorts of races practicing silently in their little suburbs.. and it also annoys me. I keep telling my wife who is from Filipino origin to assimilate and integrate.
              We are lucky enough to be here.
              My mates all come from diverse backgrounds and some are white Australian. But one thing we all value is to be able to live in this country and to value the principles of this country..

  • dontboopthesnoot on 08/02/2024 - 11:55

    I would say the majority of it is just curiosity and small talk.

  • dontboopthesnoot on 08/02/2024 - 11:55
    +1

    And is your name Mulva.

    • munecito on 08/02/2024 - 13:38
      +1

      No. It's Dolores.

  • KaTst3R on 08/02/2024 - 11:59
    +1

    So….where are you from???

  • seraphim2017 on 08/02/2024 - 12:04
    +1

    I treat it as an icebreaker, or a way to make small talk while waiting for a necessary interaction to pass (checkout etc). Don't keep looking for offense, life is too short! Taking offense at things people don't intend offense by is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick!

  • Freitag on 08/02/2024 - 12:10
    +1

    My girlfriend at the time (now wife) got annoyed with me when I asked her this question. I was just interested in getting to know her and as an immigrant myself this seemed like a normal thing to ask. I then went on to share where I was from.

    Was I being racist to ask her where she was from or tell her where I was from? With this context obviously not, I was just interested in her.

    To answer your question, it's not racist to ask where someone is from. Especially in Australia where we are so multicultural. I will continue to take an interest in people.

    If someone said something derogatory about you based on your race that would be racist.

    By the way, out of interest, where are you from? Were you born / did you grow up in Australia or overseas?

  • bangiebargie on 08/02/2024 - 12:52

    Life in Australia will be hard for you if you perceive questions like this as 'racist'. It's part of our culture to ask where people are from, and people asking about your background and experiences shows they are curious and want to know more about you. I've lived in other countries and worked in hospitality / retail, where people barely look you in the eyes (much less ask you a meaningful question). If you want to be happy, the only solution is to change your perspective (or otherwise change your job).

  • Dack Smith on 08/02/2024 - 12:55

    OP seems to have abandoned troll thread

  • zubzub on 08/02/2024 - 12:56

    My 72 year old Latino mum asks it all the time to people she meets. She’s genuinely curious. Someone being curious or a little nosey is not racist in general conversation. Someone you’re arguing with asking where you’re from is probably racist. Context is everything.

  • TrustNoBody on 08/02/2024 - 13:00
    +2

    my background is aboriginal and all my life i’ve got ppl saying but you don’t look aboriginal !!..i hate it and so does my kids , and 2 of my kids are dark skin and they constantly get asked what nationality are you and 1 son just always says australian and my other son says aboriginal ..

    • leiiv on 08/02/2024 - 14:47
      +1

      The first son is a man of principle, but I think the other son is smarter because he knows the right answer to what people want to hear (sadly).

  • mar10 on 08/02/2024 - 13:01
    +2

    I get this question all the time because I look ethnically ambiguous, and I've got an Australian accent but just have dark hair/features. Sometimes people try to guess if I'm Greek or Latino or something. I just tell people I'm from [suburb of Sydney I live in]. They get the message that I don't want to tell them my ethnic background and leave me alone.
    I used to not mind but it's annoying.

    I don't think it's racist, it's more curiosity / a conversation starter, but find something else to ask me about because it's basically telling me I look like I don't belong even though I was born/raised here.

  • MaxTravels on 08/02/2024 - 13:26
    +2

    I find myself curious to have a conversation with people who might appear (physically or verbally etc) to have a heritage outside of my own - and i want to ask a question about that - but the last thing I would want to do is offend someone. My curiosity doesn't come from a negative place - I just want to find out more about other cultures (i love to travel and learn more about other cultures). If I feel comfortable enough to ask, I try to ask about the person’s heritage. I would love to know if people think this is racist or offensive or if there is a better - less offensive - way to approach this? Most commonly it’s a question I might ask to start a conversation when there are no other topics.

      • Hangryuman on 08/02/2024 - 14:30
        +3

        I'm a musician who studied languages so the first thing I do is listen and try to identify their language and/or accent, e.g. Beijing Mandarin rolls their 'r' more like 'eur' sound.

        Recently in a bookshop standing next to me was a young teenage girl talking to her grandma, and I couldn't pick the language, so I leaned over (put my hand out as an excuse-me gesture to get their attention) and said 'Can I ask what language you're speaking?'

        The young girl, full of teenage energy, burst out 'KOREAN!' in a proud tone of voice - I said 'I can usually pick it, but you got me this time!' - waved my hand and walked away - everyone was smiling.

      • Autonomic on 09/02/2024 - 17:33

        This article has really good points:

        Get to know the person before you ask

        Wait for the topic to surface organically

        Watch your wording

        Trying to figure out someone's ethnicity based on their appearance or showing off your foreign language skills before you've even been introduced might be fun for you, but not for the other person.

        There's more in the link

        • CurlCurl on 09/02/2024 - 18:33 
          Get to know the person before you ask

Wait for the topic to surface organically

Watch your wording

Trying to figure out someone's ethnicity based on their appearance or showing off your foreign language skills before you've even been introduced might be fun for you, but not for the other person.

          Or the OP could stop being a pansy and a victim and take it as curiosity.

          • Autonomic on 09/02/2024 - 18:43

            @CurlCurl: Let me guess: you regularly ask non-white people where they're from and now you're upset at being called out

            • CurlCurl on 09/02/2024 - 23:37

              @Autonomic:

              Let me guess: you regularly ask non-white people where they're from and now you're upset at being called out

              Guess all you like champ or maybe you could consult your Ouija board.

  • LFO on 08/02/2024 - 13:38
    +1

    Definitively is innocent, almost childish, curiosity.

    Australians in general are literally queuing to go overseas and experience "different" everything. Like curious children seeking discovery.

    Interacting with someone like you will probably give them a similar kick.

    Do you look, talk, dress and behave that differently to the average person around you?

    Did you ask them "why do you ask?" That could clarify everything.

    • ripesashimi on 08/02/2024 - 13:59
      +2

      What was happening at the passport office after Covid was interesting to see but we are an island country after all. Zero land border.

      Only 53% of Australian citizens have an active passports. Lots never had passports or leave the country or even the state they were born. Lots of these citizens were not born in Australia.

      • TrustNoBody on 08/02/2024 - 15:21

        that’s me ..i’m 47 and haven’t had a passport

    • Hangryuman on 08/02/2024 - 14:22
      +2

      'innocent, almost childish, curiosity. Australians in general are literally queuing to go overseas and experience "different" everything. Like curious children seeking discovery'

      I put it down to low population - creating interest in strangers

      I noticed this in 1983 when I crossed the Berlin Wall and met and hooked up with a local East Berlin girl - I crossed from West to East Berlin and back each day over 4 days.

      In East Berlin, people were interested in talking to me, and asking me questions to find out about me, as they had a restricted worldview and couldn't travel, and they were keen to talk to a stranger.

      In West Berlin people just ignored me - too many choices in a big wide world - keep walking - don't talk to strangers.

      Feeling this jarring back and forth over 4 days made a distinct impression.

      I ended up feeling East Berlin was more like Australian people - rather isolated, more interested in talking to strangers to learn something.

  • ripesashimi on 08/02/2024 - 13:50
    +1

    Sometimes I feel that people overanalyse thing and simply overreact.

    But this thread also proves that it is impossible to explain things that only affect you to people who do not share the same values as you.

    It is funny how what is happening in America is both an overreaction but also too inadequate in other aspects.

  • Hangryuman on 08/02/2024 - 14:11
    +2

    'I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
    How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.    '

    OP admitted over-thinking - from what I have browsed of their responses - in SA which to me would be small city feel where people talk to strangers - and only asked by 50+yo Caucasians

    so lemme guess - maybe retired old folks feeling a bit lonely in the empty nest, wanting to chat to the customer service staff to lighten up their day - topic of conversation ? anything immediately noticeable - 'you look like you're born overseas - may I ask where you're from ?' - oh, you Were born here, can I ask your ancestry ? - ah, Nepalese !? I've been there - Namaste ! I pick this when I see a checkout chick with a name containing something like 'shrestha' - and I'm usually right.

    And I'll add a clue about conversation - most people really DGAF about YOU - they're just wanting an opportunity to talk about themselves. And here we are.

    Oh - I'll add another observation - if you are ugly AF, most folk won't care to linger talking to you. If they find you attractive, then they'll usually like to linger longer. So if many people are lingering asking you these questions, it's probably because they find you attractive. Racist now any?

    • R4 on 09/02/2024 - 15:41
      +1

      'maybe retired old folks feeling a bit lonely in the empty nest, wanting to chat to the customer service staff to lighten up their day'

      There's something to this. Talking to the staff at my local Coles and they told me that if an elderly customer starts talking to them, they try and engage with them as they could be the only person that they've talked to that day. A sad thought but there it is.

      • BoltThrower on 10/02/2024 - 00:42
        +1

        Generally more trusting, more friendly people too. They grew up in a world where people talked to their neighbours, waved to strangers, didn't lock their doors and married for life.

  • Ozbar Gain on 08/02/2024 - 14:19

    Where are you from?

  • cbrbargainer on 08/02/2024 - 14:20
    +3

    With a straight face, reply with the suburb you live in.

  • ozboygsl on 08/02/2024 - 14:27
    -1

    3 points, which given the problems some ppl here have will probably not go down well.
    1. you clearly don't even know what the word means.
    2. it seems very clear you are wanting to find fault so you can play the victim card.
    3. it seems you have some, if not a lot, of unresolved issues

  • michaelTito on 08/02/2024 - 14:30

    OP is a racist for assuming others being racist

  • gakko on 08/02/2024 - 14:52
    +1

    Do people mean it as racist? I think no not at all. Is it though? I think yeah a bit.

Login or Join to leave a comment
Login Join