Friendly Neighbour Turns Sour

Have a neighbour on two occasions hit my car that was parked on the street. Apparently reversed off their driveway and hit my car. Wanted me not report to my insurance company but instead go privately with their mechanic of choice to fix my car and they pay for the damages. WTH?!

I called insurance company and they advised me that I can ignore their text messages (she texted me at 6am!) and just let them handle it which I did.

Now we aren’t on talking terms which I don’t mind.

Has this happened to you?

Comments

  • +103

    No.

    • +40

      Ditto. I don't live with O.P. , so their neighbour hasn't hit my car either.

      • OP is not in a good state
        (tas)

        • -8

          There's only one good state in Australia, and that's NSW.
          If want to push it, maybe VIC as a distant second.

        • -1

          Tas, where the locals are related and conveniently have a family member in the panel repair industry.

          Op, are you a blow in from the mainland?

    • +4

      Not to me no, but i did hit my neighbours car twice! and i asked them not to go to insurance but they still did!! bloody neighbours am i right!

  • +36

    I can ignore their text messages (she texted me at 6am!) and just let them handle it which I did.

    Bad choice.

    1) Don't be so rude, but respond to them politely. Unless you were previously good friends, just explain you wish to go through your insurance.
    Not a good idea to not be speaking, if they are your next-door neighbour.

    2) Learn how to set do-not-disturb automatically on your phone during sleep hours :-)

    • +22

      Avoid text messaging. It's best to talk in person. It's harder to be angry at someone when you see their face

      • +22

        I don’t know about that… sometimes it works the other way round.

      • +26

        Text messaging provides a paper trail which may be useful later on.

      • +3

        Depends on their face I suppose.

    • I don’t know, “good friends” don’t hit each others cars multiple times and then be dodgy about it.

      • +2

        "they advised me that I can ignore their text messages (she texted me at 6am!) "

        how's she dodgy??
        she texted at 6am - thats when she hit the car / other ppl will drive off and ignore it?
        she said she'll pay the repairs - she doesnt want HER premiums to go up/as it was prob worth not going through insurance?

        doesnt seem dodgy at all… what is dodgy is the OP saying he/she ignored the text and went through her insurance - without speaking/replying to said text
        and the neighbour knows the text was received because of the insurance claim…

        if i was the neighbour i'd be like ooofph - neighbour is an axxhole…doesnt wanna speak for things like this… ok… fair play

        • How is going through your insurance dodgy for an accident?

          • +2

            @rover100: its not -
            but if the neighbour asked to settle it out of pocket/not involve insurance first / u'd think the decent thing is to respond?
            rather then just ignore and contact your insurer?

  • +7
    1. No, I don't know your neighbour.

    2. I don't have a Car.

    • +13

      Username doesn't check out.

      • +8

        Not true - they said they don't have a car, not I am not a car.

  • +23

    I would happily go with not calling the insurance, but a: I’m not using their mechanic and b: as soon as they mess me around, even just a little on payment, it’s straight to the insurance company.

    • +2

      technically you must report an incident as soon as it happens for it to be claimable

      • Report to police within 48hrs and as soon as possible to insurance. They will still accept your claim a couple weeks later.

  • +3

    We weren’t talking much to begin with. Plus they wanted me to report falsely to avoid paying the premium for underage driver.

    • +43

      So they offered to pay and you said no and used insurance. Pretty sure its not illegal to not use insurers. Nothing "falsely" about it. It could easily have been resolved and you have now cost them a lot more when you could have been reasobable. I'm sure you could have got them to use your choice of repairer
      I would not talk to you either.

      • +15

        100% this. OP sounds very unpleasant. Wanting to avoid insurance is perfectly normal as premiums are already making the cost of living untenable for many families. Why make life harder for a fellow working class family that just wants to save a bit of money?

        Friendly neighbours can be wonderful assets who look out for your home or sign for packages when you're not around. I hope going through insurance was worth it because these people will probably never want to do something nice for you even if they were in a position to do so.

        • +3

          Friendly neighbours can be wonderful assets

          You have neighbours?¿

        • +63

          Oh please. Op had their car hit twice by the neighbours and doesn’t owe them anything. Why get stuffed around when you can go through insurance that I’m sure op pays a pretty dollar for, and get them to do the leg work?

          Brb sorry I can’t pay this week but I swear I will next pay week. Brb sorry your mechanic cost too much but I know harry that does it much cheaper in his backyard!
          Brb hey sorry I’ve been really busy this week but will help sort things out later! We’re neighbours after all!

          Lol yea right. I’m going with insurance everyday of the week.

          • @nomoneynoproblems: 100%. Insurance all the way unless other party is someone i know personally very well.

            • +1

              @kaleidoscope: Even if the other party is someone you know personally very well, when money gets into the picture, you may suddenly find that you don't know the person very well, if at all

        • +13

          OP sounds very unpleasant

          TIL buying insurance and actually using it makes you "very unpleasant"

          I wonder if I can get an appointment with my local psychic kinesiologist to cure me of this dreadful character flaw

            • +2

              @SlavOz: It's absolutely nothing like that at all.

        • +3

          Friendly neighbours usually don’t crash into their neighbours cars on multiple occasions and then be dodgy about it.

        • +1

          It doesn't matter what you have. There is a system and there are principles. It's not fair to get angry when people choose to use the system as it is provisioned. Is it unfortunate for the neighbor? Probably, but that's life. It sucks to make mistakes, but owning mistakes is part of it. Sometimes people cut you a break, and that's charity, and we need to be thankful. You can't expect or demand it though, and people aren't bad when they don't agree to a special arrangement.

      • +9

        I think OP meant that when they decided to claim through insurance, their neighbour asked them to corroborate that someone else was driving instead of the neighbour's kids so that the neighbour can avoid paying the underage driver excess.

      • +1

        What happens if you need to make another claim on the same repair?
        Your stuffed

        You made the same mistake twice and now are upset because the persons stuff you broke wants to do it the right way with a paper trail leading to a warranty.
        Nice neighbor you are

      • +5

        So they offered to pay and you said no and used insurance.

        As is the OPs right.

        Pretty sure its not illegal to not use insurers.

        Nobody said it was illegal.

        Nothing "falsely" about it.

        OP just told you there was.

        It could easily have been resolved and you have now cost them a lot more when you could have been reasonable.

        Maybe, but that's not the OPs problem.

        I'm sure you could have got them to use your choice of repairer.

        Also maybe, also not OPs problem.

        I would not talk to you either.

        I doubt OP would be losing sleep over that.

        • -8

          Another miserable jobsworth enters the discussion

    • +4

      Friendly neighbour turns sour

      We weren’t talking much to begin with.

      Yeah, nah.

    • I would have just gone the insurance route, but as a compromise I wouldn't have told my insurer about the underage driver. Not sure why you were being such a hardarse about the latter point, you have nothing to lose.

    • They can still not claim on their insurance…

  • You're neighbours are cooked. Aka it's them , not you.

    • What was crooked?

      • +4

        Just cooked. The neighbour has twice hit OPs car with the most recent time the OP choosing, as they're entitled to, to go through the insurance that they bother to pay for, only to have someone contacting them at what most would consider an inconsiderate and rather odd hour to call someone multiple times and text too. This last part says more about the neighbour than anything else. A reasonable person wouldn't be calling a neighbour at 6am to discuss the accident etc.

        • +3

          100% agree.

          But at the same time, is it good idea to make enemies of neighbours who are cooked? Could have had great relationship sharing those space cakes

          • +1

            @Blitzfx: You're a wise person and I agree, You should never make an enemy of someone who bakes.

  • +2

    Always be aware where you park your car.

    While it's a public street. It's pretty obvious that parking across from a driveway is annoying for the owner.

    • Have you had this experience of someone parking opposite your driveway before?

      • -7

        Yeah I hit their car. People are inconsiderate

      • +4

        Actually we have elderly neighbours and once they asked if I could not park across from their driveway because it's hard for them to get out.

        Legally, yes, I can park there, but given that it would help out the neighbours imensely as I imagine they have a lot of trouble backing out and it would barely cause me any convenience I have since thus obliged to avoid parking opposite their driveway.

        We should do where it is possible, even having a little faith sometimes, without having to expect things in return.

        • +1

          Strange. I would have thought that being able to navigate a driveway is a pretty basic driving skill.

          These are the types that claim they thought they were on the brake while hitting the accelerator and ending up with a kid under their wheel arch.

          Time for them to re-evaluate their choices.

    • +3

      There are a great deal of places where parking across from a driveway is the only place available to park.

  • +1

    If your phone disturbs you at odd hours then learn to setup an auto silent/DND schedule. That's on you.

    Otherwise I agree with your sentiment.

    • +2

      Yes she called me at 6am twice and I had it on silent mode. Then she texted me. But I texted her back later on that week to say I’ve gone through insurance.

      • +4

        She was probably super anxious about the costs.

        Sometimes you need to have a little faith and courage in helping out another human being.

        Not sure how much the damage is, but given the proximity of the person towards where you live, it would be prudent to cut them some slack.

        You can always cancel the claim with your insurer and get some private quotes.

        However if it's like $10k+ damage I would still go with the insurer and explain to the person why - though in this case it sounds like a sub $2000k job which is probably why they would prefer it not go through insurance.

        Normally though, you can go through insurance, and the insurance company can just charge them directly. Normally the insurance company won't do exhorbitant costs as they know they might not get paid.

        Had a driver knock off somebodies side mirror, insurer invoiced only $350.

        Would like to know how the neighbour hit you twice though, if they're just shitty drivers plus possibly those people in life who are the cause of the issue and blame it on everyone else even if it is their fault.

        • -1

          Faith and courage… not sure its fair to imply that OP has neither. But im sure the neighbour had the courage to let that younger driver out in the car and had faith in their skills to not cause an accident within 10m of the front door…

    • OP wasn't complaining about being disturbed. It was there as fact.

  • Unfortunately the way houses are built, street parking usually along opposite neighbours driveway, unless if on big estates.

  • +4

    Two solution pathways:

    1. You either go through insurance or
    2. You get a quote from a repairer and tell the neighbour to pay the bill.

    You seem like the sour neighbour TBH. They admitted the mistake, they texted you and were honest. All they want to do is avoid going through insurance, yeah you can lie and say it was the policy holder who hit you and not the young driver but that's your call and gamble.

    Also, put your phone on silent if you don't want incoming messages at an hour that doesn't suit you.

    • +5

      I made my choice to go through insurance as per original post.
      I wasn’t woken up by the text messages. My phone was already on silent.

    • +18

      People have the right to go through their insurer, it’s one of the benefits of having an insurer. Going through the insurer can give greater protection, e.g. assurances as to the quality of the work and warranty for the work. The insurers have greater bargaining power to negotiate with panel beaters.

      The neighbour is either a very bad driver, highly distracted or has a drug or alcohol problem to have done this twice. What if it was a child or a dog where OPs car was? People need to look when they reverse and pull out at a speed that that are in control of the vehicle. The neighbour needs to learn from their mistakes.

      • +3

        Yep. In this (and all) situation I would go through the insurer as that is what I pay them for. They can deal with any issues that arise and earn the premium that I pay.

    • +4

      They admitted the mistake, they texted you and were honest.

      And as honest people who know mistakes happen, they'd have no problem with people using their insurance that they pay for.

      You get a quote from a repairer and tell the neighbour to pay the bill.

      Sure, let me take time out of my day to drop the car off, get it assessed, get a quote, give it to the neighbour, wait for them to come back with "no, but my cousin's friend's dealer's girlfriend's mate is like this fully sick mechanic", or say "yeah I'll pay…next week…nah next week…yeah nah definitely next week ay" and then call my insurance.

      Because I'm totally sure if somebody smashed into your car and you had insurance, the first thing you'd do is work out how close the other driver lives to you, because apparently the closer they are the greater your obligation to just pay for your insurance but never use it.

      yeah you can lie and say it was the policy holder who hit you

      So much for honest

      • Way to twist my post around and turn it into your narrative

    • Agreed, I got rear ended by a local young real estate agent. The damage wasn't major, my bumper was bent in a little, but it didn't cause any functional issues. They said they would prefer not to go through insurance, so I got a quote. They said it was pricey so I got another quote, it was about a hundred bucks less. They accepted and paid.

      I didn't know this person from a bar of soap, but had no reason to think the person was dishonest, she was driving her dads car, and was a local who works in a high visibility job, and nothing they requested was out of the ordinary. If I was prepared to do this for a stranger I think it's pretty whacked not to do it for your next door neighbour.

  • +2

    Friendly neighbour turns sour

    and

    Wanted to me not report to my insurance company but instead go privately with their mechanic of choice to fix my car and they pay for the damages. WTH?!

    Obviously you guys weren't close enough to trust them, so is there really a loss from not talking now?

  • -1

    buy her some driving lessons

  • +3

    Yes you could have been extra kind and got it done without insurance, however you’re under no obligation to do so. I imagine you didn’t trust that they’d follow through. I suspect if you’d gone along with their plan they would have started questioning the quotes you got and avoided coughing up the money when it cane time to pay. Hard to say as I don’t know the neighbours, but you’ve used your judgement. It may mean your premium goes up, but I’m sure you’ve factored it into your decision making.

    Honestly they sound like they are not only a bad but dangerous driver to have done this twice. That would have eroded my trust too.

    When I was a young new driver with a large car and no reversing camera a couple of times I reversed into low objects that I couldn’t see through my rear view. And even then I blamed myself as a) I didn’t properly scan my surrounding when getting into the car b) I was most likely rushing. Scanning the environment for hazards before getting into a car and pulling out slowly is important as it may prevent a child from being killed or injured. The neighbour sounds like they have issues to have hit a vehicle that would be clearly visible twice.

    The only caveat to all of the above would be if it’s a very narrow road and where you’re parking makes it virtually impossible for the neighbour to get out of their driveway. In which case they need to write to council and get a yellow line put where you are parking. And in this case you should be more considerate.

    • +1

      Premium should not be affected as they are not at fault

  • +13

    I've been driving for 20 years and I've never hit anything, let alone a parked car.

    If my neighbour had hit my car twice while backing out of their own driveway, I would probably not be on speaking terms with them, not out of spite, but simply because I would not respect them. That's just insane. They shouldn't have a license. Imagine how many other cars/things they've hit.

    • Agree. How in the actual F do you hit a stationery object unless either completely incompetent and/or negligent?

  • +16

    Look at all these soft petals crying for the neighbors mistake twice mind you

    YOU OWE THEM NOTHING
    where is their respect for your property they damaged. OHH OHH it will affect my premiums STIFF SHIT

    You have insurance use it that's why you pay for it
    What happens IF you need to make another claim on the same repair?

    Don't loose any sleep over your neighbors attitude to their wrong doings life goes on so enjoy it while you can.

    • +3

      YOU OWE THEM NOTHING

      But OP is the one who created this post to say that the neighbour won't take to them anymore.

      So if anything, you should be telling OP that the neighbour owes them nothing!

  • +11

    If this were me… I would have considered not going via insurance as a courtesy to my neighbour. You know where they live, they're not going anywhere.

    It sounds like you didn't even give them a chance to resolve this without insurance. They likely would have paid an excess and now have it on record for future insurance applications.

    I mean going privately is easy, as long as it's not major damage.
    * Get a repair quote
    * Ask you neighbour to pay by X date
    * If he doesn't pay up then go via insurance

    In saying that, you have every right to do this via insurance… I can understand their angst towards you though.

    • +3

      Good neighbours are very valuable to have in life..

      I've been through similar to OP and the bloke paid up for repairs without the insurance company being involved. 3000 worth…

  • If motorists backed into their driveway it would be much safer than reversing out. There has been many instances of parked cars opposite driveways being backed into I avoid parking opposite driveways, not always possible I know.

    • +3

      I once had an angry neighbour across the street tell me they almost ran into my car that I happened to park on the street one day. They just naturally assumed that no one ever parks there, and pulled out of their driveway without looking.

      The person driving the car is 100% responsible for hitting a stationary vehicle, especially if it's legally parked.

      • -1

        Yes but stats wise cars parked across driveways have a higher chance of being hit. Defensive driving

      • Wow these guys must be operating on faith that there'll never be a pedestrian or traveling car behind them if they're backing out without checking.

    • They have enough trouble backing out of a driveway, apparently… let alone into one!

    • +1

      If the neighbour did that then they would have hit their own house, twice.

  • +3

    I'm sure the story would be different if you hit their car and wanted to not use insurance.

    I'd go with insurance and let them sort it out instead of some dodgy friend they picked out.

  • +4

    Nah, hasn't happened to me fam.

    Personally, I'm very happy when neighbours don't talk to me beyond incidental pleasantries.

  • what car and how much is the damage?

  • +10

    As part of your insurance policy you must disclose any incident and any repairs made must be approved by them. if you do not follow this, you may void your policy and they may not cover you in the event of a future claim.
    Your neighbour has put you in a very difficult position, one where you are basically wearing all the risk for a situation they caused.
    It is unfortunate that they are your neighbours, I have had many neighbour issues over the years, most of these situations caused by a total lack of respect. It takes a great amount of effort to maintain a healthy relationship, and very little to turn it sour.
    In my opinion, they should not be offended or upset with your decision, they would be unhappy, as they may have to face consequences of their action, but that is not your doing, you should not bear the responsibility.

  • +6

    Your neighbours apparent feeling of indignation is understandable. You made this accident unavoidable. What the hell where you doing parked there? By daring to exist you've left them out of pocket and greatly inconvenienced. The absolute least you could have done was to let them farm this work out to the lowest bidder at a time that suits them and with no guarantee with respect to the result. Your egregious mending of bumpers now needs to be followed by the mending of fences.

    I'd take radio silence from a neighbour that can drive over a chatty Cathy that can't look where they're going. I wouldn't necessarily want someone who was sufficiently unburdened by scruples as to be comfortable enough to casually request that I make a false statement then going on to choose the repairer either. My old man let someone do this once ("Hey let's not get the greedy insurance companies get involved" / "I know a guy") with his extremely adequate and sensible Camry. The repair job was atrocious. It looked like the paint had been colour matched by Stevie Wonder and applied with a roller. Insurance companies are in it for the money but better the devil you know in most cases. Hopefully the repair bill leads to a little Pavlovian conditioning when it comes to the use of brake pedals and mirrors too. Third time's a charm after all.

  • There's a risk that your neighbour hits you again and then doesn't admit to it.

    • Nothing CCTV and a police report won't fix.

  • I would do the fix privately only if it was MY choice of repairer, otherwise to bad so sad they can deal with my insurer. You didn't do anything wrong so should not have to settle for less than you are entitled to and the best way to get that is through your insurer, especially when they are putting conditions on the private settlement.

  • +1

    U could of been a bit nicer to the neighbours, just get 3 quotes from repairs of your choice and make your neighbour pay upfront. Only go thru insurance if they refuse or cause trouble. I know that smash repairs always charge 100% more for insurance jobs compared to cash in hand.

    • +9

      Yes, let's commit fraud, that's a great idea /s

      • -3

        U must be alot of fun at parties

    • +6

      As the innocent party why would you ever make a false statement to your insurance company? Morality and legality aside, you're taking a risk and receiving zero benefit in return. It's hardly setting a great example for the kid either. The easiest way to save the young driver excess is by not crashing as opposed to asking your neighbour for assistance with minor insurance fraud. Sounds like the neighbour has already been inconvenienced enough by having to contact their insurance, chase up a repair and wait for their car to be fixed. How hard up can you be if you don't need to worry about looking where you're going not once but twice anyway?

      • -2

        Well accidents happen, the neighbour already admitted guilt and is willing to pay. U must enjoy kicking people while they are down. The young driver excess can be as high as $800 on top. Plus only the Op and the neighbour knows who was actually driving so nobody is taking a risk here.

        • +2

          Nobody seems to be down let alone being kicked. The young driver is so rolling in it they went back for more. Pretty fortunate to be in that position I'd say. Probably the CEO of a big tech company of something. Unfortunately I just don't have that kind of money to throw around (which is why I have to come here). So I have to be careful.

          • -1

            @Technics: How would u know if it was the same driver both times? How did they pay for it the first time? U must be alot of fun at parties, gobbling up all the beer while bringing none

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