I just moved into a new place and my neighbor is a nice guy. I was happy that he doesnt smoke and the air was fresh. We live in a duplex our front doors are very close. But he likes feeding magpies minced meat from a bowl which is 4 metres from my door and windows. The problem is the left overs in the bowl rot in the sun all day and the rancid smell wafts into my place. I mean surely anyone knows you cant leave meat in the sun all day and if you put meat into a bowl you need to then wash it after the animal eats it and dispose of the left overs. For 5 days now it has been stinking since the temp has gotten hotter. My kids notice it when they come in my door. I really dont want to have to say anything because hes been nice and he'll probably be offended. Everything about this new place is awesome and im tired of moving. But now im thinking of moving.
Neighbor Leaves Meat in Sun All Day. Rancid Smell
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You're not confronting him, you are having an adult neighborly chat with him. It's good to get to know your neighbours anyway.
I chat with all the time. Hes been living here for years and feeding the birds. Thats what makes it hard.. oh btw can you stop doing that or feed them elsewhere… i find it hard
@Multiple: Just say that you have noticed the meat is going bad in the sun and recommend he places fruit or seeds instead.
@AdosHouse: Magpies
are carnivoresprefer to eat meat… (I checked on wiki and I was mistaken, apparently they are omnivores)I agree OP should have a chat but moving the bowl or putting out less meat might be better options to suggest.
@Multiple: Have a few cold ones with him beforehand. That'll ease your anxiety and make you both more agreeable.
How much meat does he put out? We feed a water dragon, with meat, and if he does not eat all, it gets dry very quickly. No smell.
Yeh but throw some insults at me and sarcasm for wanting to avoid that
It would be my pleasure:
- So your neighbour is leaving out free mince!? Grab it before the magpies and make steak tartare, chilli con carne or san choy bau.
- Place rat poison in the mince so that there won't be any magpies left to feed. (For bonus points, document your neighbour's immoral conduct and leak it to animal rights activists online. He'll have to move out and go into hiding.)
- Ask an adult to talk to him.
- Slice the duplex down the middle and turn your half around so that it faces the other way.
@Multiple: The implied meaning of the term 'adult' as used here is, someone responsible and adept at addressing basic challenges in life. But I do agree that very many fully (and over) grown people are not adults.
At the present, you're enduring disharmony from your neighbour's poor food hygiene and your own interpersonal analysis paralysis.
If you responsibly communicate with your neighbour you will probably resolve the issue amicably. In the unlikely event that your neighbour is unreasonable, you will still endure disharmony from your neighbour, but your conscience will be clear in the knowledge that you tried to do right, but that the flaw lies with your neighbour. That is still less disharmony than the status quo.
So the communication option is strictly preferred.
rat poison
Nah mate. Why dont we use an eco friendly deterrer? Like Wasabi for example.
It works. Tested on seagulls. Dive head first into Parra river. Doves lives happily ever after.
If it's that hard for you then move. Not sure what you expect from this forum.
Yeh but throw some insults at me and sarcasm for wanting to avoid that
So why did you post here?
Did you just want to rant about an issue you can't resolve or are you actually interested in resolving the problem. Sometimes in life you have to do things that you might not be comfortable doing. If you don't want to bring it up, that's fine, you already have your solution - i.e. you can put up with the smell, or as you say, you could move.
Yeh because he's and adult too.. and adults always react rationally and never take offense and get upset when being politley asked to perhaps stop doing such and such on their property
Or get passive aggressive or melodramatic when told to "just try being polite and talking to them…"
Look, if the guy is half as nice as you are making out, be polite and ask them to maybe refresh the food each day, or move it to somewhere else. Or, like @Ados said above, change it for something else. Maybe even cook the meat before putting it out.
Or, you know, sit in your house, stew on it and get all angry inside and write a passive aggressive anonymous note to slip in his letterbox.
give him some non meat stuff to feed the magpie, problem solved.
If you don't say anything to him how can you expect him to know?
The key to solving this issue is communication - not hard - a lot easier than moving.
Some people have no awareness of what they r doing is effecting anyone. I caught the train to the airport for the first time in a while and it irks me some people blast music so loud , they r just gronks, it's life
True, playing loud shitty music on an open head phone @ 10:30pm..
@udyz: Can't beat the time a lady behind me started to eat a hard-boiled egg.
The entire carriage stunk even after she finished, and she was in her own little world oblivious.Half-dozen people changed carriage, others just held their noses in discontent, I was lucky to get off in 1-2 stops… but still
you can be smart, but have 0 common sense.
You cannot expect anyone to be aware of their actions nor the consequences to others. That's what nanny rules and laws are for… So people don't have to think. Call it dumbing down.
You would rather go through the hassle of moving houses than simply speaking to (probably) a reasonable neighbour?
Have you gone over and politely asked if he could amend this practice?
Sorry but your post has me concerned that you've some possible mental health issues BIGGER than just a plate of smelly meat as saying you hate human beings and at the same time asking the aforementioned human beings for assistance is contradictory to say the least.
Thanks for the insult. I find it hard to confront someone who enjoys doing something and has probably been doing it at his home a long time and asking if he could please stop doing it now that ive moved in
Obviously im mental. Thanks
I don't think Nikko meant to insult you, but he could've used more tact. To be frank, I share the same concern. Mental health challenges are not uncommon and shouldn't be a source of shame.
Hating human beings is not a healthy state of mind. Humans are social creatures and we all need to get along. :)
I find the mental health of someone who actively encourages the presence of evil birds that literally would punch a hole in your head given half a chance far, far more questionable.
Then you don’t know magpies very well, if at all.
I've read about people losing eyes to swooping magpies, have a relative whose head was wounded by a magpie and was attacked as a child on numerous occasions at a local park by magpies.
Magpies don't attack people who feed them
And out of season, they would hardly punch a hole in your head. Once they are hand fed, they make the best birds to have around the house. Friendly and good natured.
Given half a chance… sheesh.
@pegaxs: Thanks for the helpful anecdote. I'll invite it 'round for tea next time I'm being attacked.
They are evil deathbirds of evil.
These magpies sound like mafia extortion.
Feed em or get attacked.
Welp.
Just talk to him, and be nice about it
Or…if you're that anti-confrontation, wash the bowl out yourself after it's been out a few hours?
The bowl isn't the only issue here…
Buy a magpie costume and remove the meat yourself.
https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Brand-new-Magpie-adult-Mascot-Co…
This is probably this best, easiest and most sane solution anyone has suggested so far.
This wins the Internet for the day. 😂
VicKiwi = ingenious
240 bucks?! Jesus!!
Can confirm, this works.
Strategically place the corpses of 5 or 6 birds around the bowl.
This will make him second guess any further philanthropy towards these winged rodents ;-)
Haha
Rat poison the meat… lmao
I guess ive just got to talk to him about it.
OMG, you think??
Sorry Tough guy im not like you i cant just march over to a neighbor and ask them (even if it is politley) to stop engaging in an activity they regularly love to do
You must lack basic social skills to think there is a problem there.
Tough guy? Really? It’s not about being tough, it’s about being polite. There is no marching involved and no stand over tactics.
You just go over and make general conversation.
Or, you know, sit in your house and sulk about it.
@pegaxs: You are right ill own it i am having a sulk.. how long did it take you to figure that out
Also if you find doing a particular thing awkward.. doing it politley doesnt make it less awkward einstein
Why are you on ozbargain. Stop sulking about high prices and pay retail price and if you pay politley the prices wont be high anymore
@Multiple: You're wrong, doing an awkward thing politely does make it less awkward.
"Hey mate this is a little awkward for me but the smell of mince meat rotting is coming in to my house. Would you please feed the birds something else?"
@R-Man: Suggest maybe "A chap I know* feeds magpies daily with dried dog food, and he said that they love it!"
- That's me. :-)
I'll sit by the phone with
00pre-dialled in case anything happens…It's not about being tough, it's about being assertive. Which despite what some people think, doesn't mean being a jerk.
We all do things that might annoy people, knowingly or not. It might not even occur to him that the smell is reaching your unit. I didn't know that my old housemates could hear what I thought was soft music through my door until they brought it up. I switched to headphones.
Seriously, grow a spine. If you can't even approach your neighbour about a simple matter like this, you're going to get steamrolled in life.
@SydStrand: Hang on, let’s throw OP a little slack here. It’s not always easy to strike up a conversation with some people, especially when you want to ask them to change their behavior.
For all we know, this kindhearted, nature-loving, thoughtful bird-loving neighbour might ride a 117 cubic inch Screamin’ Eagle Harley with a straight pipe exhaust and wear a dirty, denim vest emblazoned with two words on the back referring to spiritual beings from the netherworld, and have 150 similarly attired mates who roll up at any hour of the day or night.
Some things in life are challenging for the best of us.
I also dislike even the possibility of a conversation turning confrontational. I like Mistymoo’s suggestion above. If neighbour was to question you about it you could simply say that you were trying to be helpful as you thought perhaps they hadn’t realised the meat was spoiling.
Unless of course the bowl is on his property. Then don’t do it.Thank you. Some sanity. Most people so far are acting like people dont get offended even if youre polite and things cannot turn sour and awkward from that point on
Especially when youre pointing out something so obvious. And hes been doing it a long time.
It is on his property and its not an option for me in my current situation. Even if i could physically wash it everyday i would rather move than do that.
Im just going to have to ask him politely to stop
And according to many on here… he will instantly understand and take no offence and happily do so because we are both adults
Positive thinking goes a long way. Just like smiles and yawns, fear can be contagious.
Use the hot weather as a pretext. "Nice week we're having! Hey… it seems the meat is rotting too quickly in this heat, could you feed them seeds instead" fill in the gaps.
Thank you. Some sanity
No mate, it looks like you are facing some anxiety. You are overthinking how the other person will react. I do this all the time.
Please look at the opinions of many in this discussion, against your opinion of 1 (maybe 2).
I thought you only recently moved in. If that's the case how do you know he has been "doing it a long time."?
Can't imagine any neighbour told you before you could cut that conversation short with a slam of your Crimsafe Door.
I also dislike even the possibility of a conversation turning confrontational.
No you don't!
Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Can we please get an MSPAINT diagram so we can understand this more easily?
Talk to him.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-18/these-foods-could-be-… Another option is to provide this link to your neighbour. Better to feed other things than mince
That's the perfect answer, coming from a place of concern is the best way to change someone's behaviour.
When he's out whip the bowl home and throw out the meat.
Having previously popped down to the local Op shop, return the washed bowl replete with knife, fork, salt n pepper shakers and perhaps a mostly empty sauce bottle.
Have some fun with it
Maybe frame it a little easier, go round with some baked cookies or something to soften the blow, tell him its super sweet that he feeds the birds, but unfortunately the smell is starting to get into your room due to the super hot heat, darn that summer weather. Then ask maybe it would be easier to move the meat a bit away from your place, or to use fruit or something less smelling due to these unfortunate hot months.
Hopefully that will go over a little easier.
Or don't know if this is a creative way of dealing with the issue but I guess you could put up your own little bird house with bird feed out (or even buy some bird feed to give to the neighbour) that way no smell and seems like you're encourgaing it in a nicer way and feeding the bird something built for birds?
Could leave it in a little garden box outside for whoever (you or neighbour) to throw to the birds and enjoy without the smell.
Yeh thats pretty good idea. I would love him to use seeds!
I think the magpies like the meat. Seeds are plentiful. They want meat and they kno where to come to get it. He knows this obviously. And that is why theyve befriended him and he enjoys it.
He leaves the meat out all day to attract them and theres leftovers.
Essentially i have to politely ask him to stop doing this.
Its so funny how people on here act like there isnt room for that to go sour and they act like its all just "communication" and adults talking to adults. They act like he isnt invested in it and isnt doing it for his own reasons which he enjoys and that suit him and he wont get offended if i ask him to stop doing it.
Basically i just have to politely ask him to stop
You don't have to ask him to stop, asking him to not leave the bowl out long enough for it to go bad would be a much simpler option. For example, he could put it out when he first got up and then remove it before he goes to work. He could also reduce the amount so it all gets eaten, this would probably be better for the birds as it would reduce their dependency on what he is supplying which according to the ABC article linked above would be better for them.
You need to realise that feeding the birds isn't the issue, leaving the meat out too long is, approach it in this way, maybe mention you have a strong sense smell as well and that you would be really appreciative if he could help you by not leaving it out and I think the chance of it escalating should be pretty low.
Back to the Op-Shop and buy an old feather pillow or two.
A regular handful or two of feathers around the area of the bowl and maybe a cat poo or three to suggest the possibility of his mince attracting local cats.
A spray or three of some ammonia might paint this picture within his synapses..
Phew. Impulse thought after your first sentence was that OP buy pillows, sneak into neighbours house whilst they're asleep and… Problem solved.
Priceless
What about a note expressing tedium with his menu and a request for a vegan option?
Sign it "Homeless" and maybe leave some evidence of someone sleeping there.
Some old grubby blankets from your local charity store.
Its good to support the Salvos, Good Sammy, Vinny's etc.
I like you. You have a good sense of humour.
Everything about this new place is awesome and im tired of moving. But now im thinking of moving.
Have a quick, polite chat with neighbour, or move house??? :D
HAHAHA… Ya'll posting in a troll thread. I thought this was serious till I got to this line.
Please, start slipping comments being being the victim and being victim shamed. Add a side note about the patriarchy and being oppressed. Don’t forget to mention you are vegan and that meat really offends you. Add that you have children, and act like this gives you more rights than everyone else.
Sheesh. Move house.
Ahhh ofcourse.. its just a polite chat nothing to it! How could of been so silly… he doesnt go through this ritual everyday because he loves doing itnand has reasons for doing it.. and if i ask him to stop doing it he'll just smile and so no worries and never do it again no problem. Because thats how people are! Thanks for educating me and also projecting a whole lot of unrelated issues you onto my situation.
Yes id rather leave than get into confrontation or fights with neighbors or situations that can lead to them. Im an (profanity) obviously.. i should just walk around telling everyone what to do like you with no thought about it.. there wont be any issues.. life is so simple and easy
and if i ask him to stop doing it he'll just smile and so no worries and never do it again no problem.
Unless he is a psychopath then yes, this is the likely outcome
Yes id rather leave than get into confrontation or fights with neighbors or situations that can lead to them.
It isn't going to turn into a fight if you can manage to speak in a polite and nice way. Maybe you're not capable of this since you seem to think that uttering a word means you're in an all-out war with them. How on earth do you manage to work where you have to talk to other human beings and get along with them? Or you probably don't?
There is a difference between feeling okay to ask others to do things because you have authority as a manager or are part of a team at work where people submit to authority in teams etc… versus asking someone to stop doing some acivivty they obviously love doing at their own home. Youve surely heard of neighbors having issues over certain behaviors each other are doing before? People dont respond as well to instructions even if they are politely inferred (sometimes thats patronising and worse to people) when they arent being paid to carry out those instructions
@Multiple: There's a difference between asking someone politely and ordering them to do something. You're not ordering or instructing him to do anything, you're asking politely where he can say no if he wants to, in an environment where it is assumed there's no hard feelings if he doesn't want to (putting him in a position where he feels he has the power, and you're the submissive one - if it feels like you are ordering or instructing, you're doing it wrong - that's placing yourself in the dominant position and him in the submissive one, which people don't like unless you're in a position of authority over them). You don't accuse, or try to make him feel bad, you just ask nicely, and appeal to his innate values of social niceties. It isn't rocket science. It is just having normal, average social skills.
@Quantumcat: @Quantumcat if im willing to go to great lengths even move homes to avoid any possible confrontation… why would i start accusing and insulting him which would cause certain confrontation?
@Multiple: Why would you accuse or insult him? That was never an option on the table. There's no need for any confrontation at all. I think you have some disturbed thinking and should see a psychologist. You might have social anxiety.
@Quantumcat: Dude you put that option on the table.. you need to see a psychologist they were your words first i was quoting you.. you wrote "you dont accuse" "you dont make him feel bad" you brought that up. I never said i would do that. Now youre saying i brought it up. Are you trolling me? You must be
You also made an analogy to my situayion and being at work…saying they were the same thing. Then you said you dont act like you are at work in your next comment
@Multiple: You're the one who said
People dont respond as well to instructions
You're not giving him an instruction. You're not ordering him. You seem to fail to understand the difference between politely asking and telling someone they must do something. I said "you don't accuse" and "you don't make him feel bad" because you seem to think that asking politely is the same as telling someone they have to do something, and accusing them of doing something wrong, and making them feel bad for doing the wrong thing, is how you get the bad reaction you're dreading (which won't happen if you work out how to ask nicely).
Even if you don't believe me - just read the comments on this thread. People are either incredulous that you wouldn't just ask nicely in the first place without even thinking about it, or telling you just ask nicely and it will be very unlikely anything bad will happen. Some people are sympathetic to how you might be feeling but no one agrees with you that just asking nicely is going to cause the outbreak of world war 3.
@Quantumcat: Mate you brought up getting along with people at work why? Its a place where people give instructions to others to accomplish goals and profit from so doing. Sorry but last time i checked it wasnt optional at work to say no when asked to do something or in other words when you are given an instruction. Work isnt a plce where you just chat and do what you want and socialise. You take instructions at work constantly.
Your the one who brought that "workplace" analogy up and compared it to me asking my neighbor to stop the putting out rancid meat. How could you survive at work getting along with people… its the same.. in other words.. was your point.
So why would you compare a place whose main function involves giving instructions for the way you want things done i.e. instructions.. to my situation.
Now youre saying to me "you dont give instructions you are mental". Far out dude. This is why i dont want to approach my neighbor.. i might find out he has your logic.
Mate you brought up getting along with people at work why? Its a place where people give instructions to others to accomplish goals and profit from so doing.
Managers and bosses give instructions. Colleagues just talk and maybe make helpful suggestions, but they don't instruct. You have to be able to get along with your colleagues at work if you want to survive in a job. That involves being able to talk to them nicely and not in a way that sounds like you are ordering them to do something.
You're getting confused between how people in a position of authority behave, and how equal people behave.
@Quantumcat: It's ironic isn't it, this guy is 100% willing to confront people on the internet, about how he is afraid to confront someone in real life. He's the textbook example of a keyboard warrior. I kind of feel sorry for him and the people who has to deal with his social skills (or lack of).
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maybe fire bomb his house.
or shoot him in the face
or (profanity) up his car
or you could talk to him like an adult