I just moved into a new place and my neighbor is a nice guy. I was happy that he doesnt smoke and the air was fresh. We live in a duplex our front doors are very close. But he likes feeding magpies minced meat from a bowl which is 4 metres from my door and windows. The problem is the left overs in the bowl rot in the sun all day and the rancid smell wafts into my place. I mean surely anyone knows you cant leave meat in the sun all day and if you put meat into a bowl you need to then wash it after the animal eats it and dispose of the left overs. For 5 days now it has been stinking since the temp has gotten hotter. My kids notice it when they come in my door. I really dont want to have to say anything because hes been nice and he'll probably be offended. Everything about this new place is awesome and im tired of moving. But now im thinking of moving.
Neighbor Leaves Meat in Sun All Day. Rancid Smell
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I understand how you feel. Instead of asking him outright, perhaps you could ask him if he has noticed a bad smell coming from that area. Tell him that you are trying to figure out where it is coming from because a few people have commented. Suggest it might be a dead rat under the house etc and ask him if he wouldn't mind checking under his house too. He will most likely figure out for himself that it is the meat, and if he is a nice guy he will be more careful in future.
But I also love the idea of dressing up as a magpie!
Yeah do it this way. I understand your worries as I was in a situation when I had to ask my neighbor to not have loud conversations after midnight, and was verbally abused. But since you talk to him all the time, maybe he just didn't realise the smell gets as far as to your place.
Anyway… thanks everyone for the suggestions.
I need to just bite the bullet and politley bring it up. I.e. ask him to stop doing something he loves doing..
He might not love leaving rancid meat outside. But it is probably the cheapest way to get rid of the dead bodies he accumulates through being a hitman for hire.
Exactly my point.. is someone who i leaving dead raw flesh around the type of person who is NOT going to get offended if i ask him to stop?
Oh boy! Pretty sure that was a joke.
Breathe with me. In through the nose to the count of 4, hold for 7 counts and out through the mouth over 8. Repeat until you feel relaxed.
Namaste.
I don't see any correlation between someone who leaves raw meat out and people who get offended easily. You just said he's nice. Nice people tend to be considerate, now that's a valid correlation. You just need to ask.
True ozbargainer would have spaghetti ready to take advantage of this free feed.
Hahahaha
Suggest that he feeds them bread.
White bread so that they slowly succumb to diabetes?
WTF is “polony”??
Other than that, awesome link.
aka Devon
Ahhh…. ok, Devon I know… where is it called “polony”?
Well there are three options
- Talk to him.
- Shut up and deal with it.
- Move.
You have ruled out option 1 multiple times already. Shut up or move. Pick
Can you actually read? Ive actually said multiple times i will talk to him but that i really dont want to
Then option 2 or 3…
So what is the actual problem then? What was the point of this post? Did you want one of us to fly there and hold your hand? The amount of excuses you have is ridiculous. You either were not socially adjusted as a kid or just have crippling social anxiety
Firstly ive not made one single excuse are you sure you are reading the right forum?
No im venting my frustration. People do crazy shit and then other people have to bend over backwards and act all polite so as not to offend them so they can ask them not to do the crazy shit….
Im tired of having to ask people not to do this or that very politley…. and then they get offended or get their back up.
Essentially based on experience unless this neighbor is very different.. he ll be irritated that im suggesting he no longer feed birds and the relationship will go sour.. if hes the kind of person who doesnt care about rancid smell he probably be annoyed at having the change his behavior for me.
I guess im just tired of being a human being. If i had the money id live on an island.
Look at all the comments of people essentially insulting me for finding it difficult to approach my neighbor about it. If it were them theyd be just as awkward. People are assholes. Maybe 80%.
I know i have to go and tell him to stop.. nicely (yes with a beer yes with a smile yes witu blah blah). I just dont want to. I find it hard. It drains me the way life is always dealimg with other peope doing things that are obviously offensive but they do them and plave the burden on you to go ask them to stop. Then youre the bad guy. Im just over it.
Yeh true he might just stop doing it no problem. But he also might be crazy and from then on its awkward and shitty living here.
I dont know man. Im just a bit depressed too probably. And im just over it.
Honestly i dont suffer foolish behavior well. It takes every ounce of my energy to smile and act fake as if it isnt a problem when clearly it is or i wouldnt be bringing it up.
I just wish it was a simple as "dude i dont care i love the fact you feed birds and enjoy it but my home smells like rotting meat and its gross do i really have to be in an awkward situation and ask if you pretty please dont mind to stop maybe doing it"
Okay everyone lay into me after that. Im an (profanity). You all have such together lives. Whatever i dont care. Im just being honsest. Keep pretending like your neighbor playing music at 2 am hasnt made you upset and it wouodnt be awkward to go over and try to bring it up with them
@Multiple: Depression and anxiety are real problems which need real solutions. A GP can provide a referral to a psychologist for some free sessions. That's a bargain for your health! :)
Im tired of having to ask people not to do this or that very politley…. and then they get offended or get their back up.
Essentially based on experienceYou're probably just not asking in the right way if you're used to getting such responses. Or you've been incredibly unlucky and have been getting the rare really nasty kind of person every time. I would try some of the wording suggested by others (I assume what you wrote is exaggerated and you wouldn't actually say that).
If you're really scared to talk with him, you could write a letter - put it in a post and have people here comment on it. To get the wording just right and make it less likely to get a bad reaction. He might think you're a little weird writing a letter instead of speaking but better than having the wrong tone of voice and wording that could cause a negative reaction perhaps
Whatever i dont care. Im just being honsest. Keep pretending like your neighbor playing music at 2 am hasnt made you upset and it wouodnt be awkward to go over and try to bring it up with them
I've done it, and I've had neighbours do it to me. You'll find that most people are perfectly reasonable, and even when they aren't, you're in the right. You really need to work on your social anxiety or get eaten up by life's drama. What if a drunk gets in your face? What if you get into an accident with an aggro road rager? What if a suck-up is screwing you in the workplace? You going to meekly post a thread on OZB? You can't literally move house after every problem.
For 5 days now it has been stinking
Five days is a long time. Knock on his door to see if he is still alive.
Buy 100 rats and let them loose in your backyard. They'll end up going next door for the free food.
Once your neighbour stops feeding the birds due to the obvious rodent infestation, then buy 50 eastern brown snakes.
After the snakes have eaten the rats, then get 2 cane toads. They'll breed, and the snakes will eat them and be poisoned.
Pretty sure this is your only option..
All I could think of was this song…
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the the spider (that jiggles and wiggles and tickles inside her), she swallowed the spider to catch the guy next door feeding his magpies… I don’t know why she’s sad at the guy… perhaps she’ll just move house… :D
Instead of asking him to stop completely, ask him to put out only enough meat that they can eat in one sitting. He still gets to do what he obviously likes doing and you don't get the smell.
Yes i have no choice but to do that. It is the only thing i can do other than move.
Honestly if you had your own reasons for doing something a certain way.. a way that suits you… and you enjoyed doing it too… and your new neighbor came over and extremely politely asked you to do it another way what are you going to think? Honestly?
I would apologise for not realising the trouble it was causing, and change my habits.
If you were that kind of person though.. would you be putting out meat to go rancid a few metres from your neighbors home in the first place
Thats what makes me not want to bring it up… if he cared he wouldnt be doing it to begin with
@Multiple: Yep. Possibly. Ever heard of the Hanlons razor? "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity"
@Tech5: All vices can be boiled down to stupidity. Along with my value for education, that's why I like to give everyone compassionate benefit of the doubt to begin with.
Not the engineering vice in my garage….. I've tried
I think you've just supported Scrooge's theory. ;)
All vices can be boiled down to stupidity.
@Multiple: He most likely does not know that it bothers you.
The previous tenant there was maybe fine with it, either it didn't bother them, or they were happy to tolerate it for the sake of peace and harmony with neighbor, and in the context of him being a really nice person etc.
I actually encountered a very similar issue 2 different neighbors at 2 different previous units. My neighbor would throw bread out for the birds, then much of it would be sitting round uneaten making a mess of our shared lawn IMO. Quite unsightly I felt. I tried to empathise and understand from their side of things, and I realised that the old fellah in his 80's (first neighbor that did it) he was clearly quite lonely, he loved those birds, it gave him purpose, someone that relied on him and needed him, and they were like his pets (in his mindset). He was a very nice gentlemen, and he most likely would have stopped if I asked, but I would have felt bad ruining his happiness he gets from feeding birds, plus I'm willing to make a little sacrifice and tolerate stuff like this, for the sake of his happiness and also for the sake of living in harmony and having him as a good friend, as well as a neighbor
Im sure we all do things which at least to some extent, irritate someone else sometimes. I'm sure there could be things which you or kids might do which he doesn't completely like. But you would want him to be tolerant and considerate. It isn't always easy to be that way, but when it happened again with anothet neighbor it was nuch easier to get over. Tolerance and empathy is a great skill to practiceThe more you accept and try to be tolerant of pet hates, the easier it should become over time. Even maybe try to develop a strategy to help you overcome the smell, till it no longer bothers you. Perhaps burn insense, or have door closes when smell is bad.
If you absolutely must, do something about it besides just tolerating it or adjusting what you do somehow, if you must say something, I guess maybe a nicer way of saying it could be the following…. Start off with a compliment or 3, The birds are really lovely, I can see how they adore you, and you them, it's soooo nice, then could say 1 of the kids has an easily upset tummy, and it makes them a bit sick (dont name kid, just say "1 of the kids") . Sounds like he's a nice person, and is not doing it to be mean or nasty. If you give some compliments and express empathy and understanding, then tell a white lie about it bothering 1 of the kids with easily upset tummy, this would be a way to go about it if you MUST say something . I would just let it go, tolerate it, with the understanding that everything about me isn't awesome (just almost everything) so Im sure there are things I do which annoy some people sometimes, and Im sure there are things you (and every person in existence) does that annoy some people some of the time. But they are tolerant and move past it :)@Multiple: The issue with people in general, we tend to be very egocentric, we do not really think of others, unless it brought to our attention.
The neighbour could easily had no clue that it affects you, compared to as much it affects him. He probably built a tolerance to the smell and hence cannot really smell it.
If you have a child, or a nagging wife.The child probably a better option (people cannot say no to children) as an excuse, be like, "my child has asthma or severe hay-fever, he cannot sleep at night and has problem breathing because of the smell, I would greatly appreciate if you could replace the tray more often or use an alternative?" Let's assume you this child is real and in fact does have asthma, then you could even guilt trip to the max by saying," I don't want him to end up in the hospital again…" He will get the picture.
If worse comes to worse, buy him some bulk bird feed.
Or if you devilish, replace the spoilt meat with your own turd, but shape it like the mince that was their originally.
Id put in an automatic watering system in the garden and point one of the jets at the bowl. Set it on a timer for when the meat usually spoils.
So the outcomes are either
1. You ask and he obliges
2. You dont ask and move house
3. You ask and he doesnt take it well and hates youIf you dont ask, you're gonna move anyway, so might as well ask, unless you were hoping to keep this relationship beyond just neighbours?
You could borrow my neighbour's cat. She keeps the bird population in control in my area. Of all the birds, why would he feed magpies for?
You can tell him without telling him you know. My female boss is the best at this.
How about a subtle hint? I'm a really direct confrontational type so I can't offer specific ideas but I seen brilliant smart subtle gestures sensitive people like yourself use to get their point across…
not reading it all. but..
with what I do for a living and the issues I come across I can completely understand why a person does not want to approach a neighbour..
Although in saying that, where someone has had previous conversations they would know what sort of person they are speaking with is.
i.e either reasonable and approachable or an A#hole.Also I think you will find feeding birds is not recommended. - print off a leaflet and letterbox drop..
https://www.wires.org.au/wildlife-info/wildlife-factsheets/f…WIRES does not recommend that you feed any native birds for the following reasons: * Most birds eat a balanced diet; 90% eat insects and nectar, seed or fruit. … * Feeding can increase the quantity of non-native birds, non-native rats and cockroaches, as the more food they get the more they breed.
And what happens when this persons moves or dies, all these birds have become (to an extent) dependant on this person feeding them.
Wow, I can't belief this is up to the second page.
Being the millennial age, I suggest posting on Facebook, reddit etc. Maybe your neighbour will read it.
This may be as simple as (politely) suggesting one of you add water to the bowl.
It could be initially or after a few hours, but before it gets rancid.The upshot is the birds also get a drink, and the meat shouldn't smell anywhere near as bad!
Find out the time your neighbour places the bowl outside.
Sneak over and throw out the neighbour's bowl each time.
Start placing your own bowl of minced meat out.
Gain the magpies trust.
Soon the magpie tribe will love and respect you.
Identify the alpha magpie (alpha bro).
Spend the time teaching alpha bro to mimic english - repetition is the key.
Don't give up as alpha bro may be shy or wary at first.
Soon alpha bro will be able to mimic you say "your stinking meat bowl is offending my nostrils"
Feed the magpies. When Alpha bro arrives shout over the fence "Oi neighbour, listen to alpha bro here".
Alpha bro has got your back. Let alpha bro do his thing.
Situation resolved.
Too much effort. Just find emu ute guy's phone number.
What I would do is take the bowl, wash it and when returning it tell him the smell is a bit strong on these warmer days in a friendly tone. He'll likely feel a little embarrassed but not attacked.
Just ask him to reduce the amount of meat he feeds them so there's no leftovers , say by half then feed them the rest another day.
Talk to him about the study you read about cardiovascular disease in Australian magpies due to overfeeding fatty meat.
Or tell your kids this ,
and I'm sure they will tell him.Is anyone else around here old enough to remember loading trupet winsocket in Windows 3.1 so that this website (pretty much the only website available at the time) could me loaded in glorious 2400 baud: http://www.stinkymeat.net/about.shtml
Hey I know! Rather than talk to my neighbour directly about the issue at hand, I'll ask random strangers on OzBargain!
Just get a large cat, preferably a ginger one, and don't feed it. It'll find the mince or snag a maggie or two and you win.
Take a shit in said bowl of meat
Read your username and pictured this with disco music playing
Disco Stu has some poo for you.
Maybe countering the shit meat bowl smell with non stop 24/7 disco music would work for op!
Maybe ask him if he could wash the bowl as the meat rot and causing you disturbance..
Why does he need to put it in a bowl in the first place?!
Get a cat.
2 ways that can resolve the issue - cat will eat the food before it goes rancid or scare the birds away.Cat will eat meat laced with potion for the birds.
Win win?
Nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Hold on, that feeding bowl has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
They can bill me. :)
Wow great way to attract more rats, mice and myna birds! All of them PESTS by the way and pushing out native wildlife! Ask him if he really cares about wildlife or just likes to feed his own ego. Behaviour like this is actually doing native wildlife zero favours.
Some people have no sense of smell. May be your neighbor is one of those.
Talk to him. The worst he could say is no.
By the way, you will NOT be asking STOP FEEDING the birds, you will be suggesting NOT to leave meat rotting in the bowl. And meat doesn't rot within minutes.
Your post and responses make me think you might actually have social anxiety disorder. You might want to see someone.
Yeh must be. I dont see the problem with "hey mate could you swap out the meat for something like fruit or seeds? The meat is creating a rancid smell making my family and myself uncomfortable. It also is not healthy for the birds"
Done. If they take that the wrong way then they aint exactly "nice".
And to make it worse, look at their passive aggressive and extremely sarcastic replies!
You don't have to tell him to stop. The neighbour could put out something that won't smell.
They seem to like catfood biscuits
says neighbour is nice
is too afraid to talk to said neighbour
/end thread.
Tell him it reminds you of your motherland. The street lined with corpses as you skirted around puddles of blood.
Stare into the distance as you tell your story and grin at the end.
Problem solved. No more rotten meat and your neighbours will always be extra nice around you.
Sounds like an anxiety problem? My partner is similar and wouldn't be able to ask the neighbour. So I know where you're coming from.
Do you have a partner that can ask for you?
Maybe you can get involved and buy a bird bath / feeder statue and put it further away from the front door so the neighbour feeds them further away? Might be a way of doing it without confronting them?
Or do what my wife does when we do something new or go somewhere populated, pop a xanax/valum and then go confront the neighbour.
Take out a billboard that's on his commute to work telling him to stop leaving meat out. Also stake out his commute to work.
Just talk to the magpies directly and ask them "How can you have any pudding…?"
You: hey there (really nice neighbour?)
(*Optional addition, see below) I realised the bowl of meat you've been putting out is beginning to rot and it's giving off unpleasant smells in my house, would it be Ok if you got rid of it after day or two after putting it out instead of leaving it out for a week?
- (Optional addition to above):
-Please don't yell at me but
-I'm scared of confrontation but
-this is Awkward but
-how's it going?,
-i don't mean to drive a hard bargain but
Really nice neighbour?: oh crap I didn't realise, sorry about that I'll clean it up now and will make sure to keep an eye on it next time or rather my nose HaHaHa.
You: (robot laugh)HaHaHa, sorry I think my food is burning
runs back inside locks door- (Optional addition to above):
Hello Multiple, take this as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. A comfort zone is nice to have, it's comfortable but nothing will ever grow there.
1) There has been many useful suggestions in the thread including offering a substitution for meat such as fruits/nuts. Always offer a solution or alternative to your request instead of just saying to not do it outright.
2) You've asked an online forum for help, so be prepared to hear some opinions which may not be agreeable to you. Learn to be open and not get defensive. They are only opinions, YOU give meaning to the words by how you choose to respond to them.
3) Life is about growth. In your situation, you can choose to do the same thing that you normally would do, and be the only one in this situation who is suffering, put up with the stench of rancid rotting meat, and pack again to move once you have had enough. OR you can evolve, try to have a chat with him (it's not a confrontation, be calm and polite and engage with him), and try some of the practical suggestions made.
4) Ask yourself, what's the worst that could happen? He gets offended and stops putting meat out? Win. He gets offended and doesn't put meat out? You're no worse off. Now ask yourself what's the BEST thing that could happen? The rewards far outweigh the risk of having a chat.
5) The next time something happens, you will have more life experience under your belt to be equipped to handle it. There's no guarantees in life and there's no guarantees that you'll get the outcome that you are hoping for. But the important thing is that you tried and each time you try, you get better at doing it and eventually, it won't be a daunting thing to do.
You complain directly, youre the bad guy.
Neigbhour is an oddball, but a harmless oddball.
Go through real estate manager or move.sell and move out, its a lost cause
Rancid meat is bad for the birds as well. If you don't want t sound like you're asking for your own sake, you can bring it up that way - "I notice in the heat now that it's summer, your meat is going off really quickly. You should swap it for fresh meat or put out less so the birds don't get sick."
Dude, grab the bowl and place it on the far side of the property (away from you), this way he gets the message that you're not tolerating it.
Take over some nice homemade food as an icebreaker, and then just be polite with your request.
If you're speaking to the neighbour anyway, mentioning the bad smell isn't such a leap as you make it out to be OP. Go for it!
Besides, if you move then you'll possibly end up with a smoker/noise maker anyway which is much tougher to deal with.
Have you thought about putting out a scarecrow on your porch?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarecrow
It could obviously be interpreted in multiple ways though. I honestly wonder how this would go?
Else, try getting your own (or someone elses) pet which eats the food prior to the magpies getting at it.
Else, try spraying the area with something (fragrant or even superglue/epoxy so that the mince no longer smells and just stays stuck to the bowl)?
- Get a cat. Train it to hunt magpies. ;-D
- "I don't want to be one of THOSE neighbours and ruin your enjoyment, but the meat the birds leave behind really smells. I wonder if we could talk about it and work out a compromise." Then buy him a bag of 'dry' dog food, help set up a bird feeder that gets pulled up really high into the air with a rope, etc.
- Some birds can't tolerate moving sparkling things apparently. Make a 'mobile' with a few CDs spinning at different heights in the wind.
Knock on his door, say "Nice to MEAT you!" and throw said stinky leftovers at him.
Like an adult.
If you smoke, smoke at the front your house and direct the smoke into his front door.
Now both of you are in a awkward position of confronting your neighbour about a delicate subject.Or direct him to this post so he will have a bit of a laugh at all the ruckus he has caused in the ozbargain community and hopefully the problem will be solved.
What's hard is that you're complaining here and asking for advice, where you are being ridiculed and actually not ignored.
If you have a deep problem with speaking to others about what concerns them that bothers you, then I would suggest you contact your local therapist and get the problem dealt with.
Afterwards, or when you have the bravery to do so, ask Mr Nice Guy over a cup of tea if he could consider leaving water, not meat for the birds. The meat stinks, the water does not.
After all, he IS nice. You're literally being mean to your kids by even considering moving again over such a trivial issue. It's up to you, not him to change his ways.
achew
'scuse meIf he's a nice guy you're just working yourself up for nothing.
Just ask him. Odds are he won't get offended or a sudden heart attack.
Don't be a dick and he won't care.
"hi the smell is affecting us, can you please put the bowl elsewhere"
/thread
The (profanity) is he feeding wild animals for? Does he think he's doing some sort of community service by doing this? I guess it's the same as people who sit at parks and feed ducks bread.
Tell your neighbour you stumbled upon this article
"Brisbane bird and exotic animal vet Deborah Monks said raw meat and mince, although popular, did the most damage to magpie health.
"I wouldn't recommend raw mince on its own because it doesn't have enough calcium in it," she said.
Dr Monks said people who fed adult magpies raw meat wouldn't see the effects it had on their young in the nest, but veterinarians regularly saw birds with weak and disfigured bones.
"We certainly see babies where the parents have been supplemented with mince … their bones are soft and break," she explained."
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-18/these-foods-could-be-…
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I agree that since you just moved in, it probably doesn't look good if you brought it up since they've been there for years.