Advice on New Housemate Pissing Me off and Using Too Much Bills

Hi guys.
I m new to this house subletting thing. I got a new housemate who seems to behave outofplace and just annoys me. The day he moves in, I wated to quickly pick something inside and didn't have my key on me as it was in the car on the street, I then ask him to open the door while entering then he says somelittle off things about opening the door for me which I snooged off. I traveled for work nd come back a week later and coincidentally we (him, me nd my gf) were trying to enter the house. He got to the door first, so he wanted to open with his key, puts the key into the keyhole then retracts saying he wants to be sure I live in the house I rented, and asks me to open it. I felt smugged on the face, but he then says it is a joke after I opened it.

Also, the day he moved in, he calls me on the phone asking me to call my neighbors to take away their dog. The dog harmlessly sneaks into the compound once in a while, but this new guy just wants the neighbor to take it out, and goes to their door knocking which I found really annoying(as the neighbor is my landlord)

All these have past by, however what may now be a problem is his cooking all the time.
I came back from travel and found out he used the oven too many times a week. Too much the smoke goes to activate the smoke alarm. I told him about it the next day I see him do it, nd he says he told me before moving in that "he cooks everyday" which I do not have problem with. When he said that I said "no problem, but its a fair usage of the bill otherwise, its capped".

I was assuming he is a normal person like my previous housemate who I perfectly went along well with, and we didn't have to be too strict with rules. He also did cook everyday and we were just mature about using up stuff. I even remember when he did use the heater, we never agreed prior, but I felt it was ok since those days were quite cold, and it was just for a couple of hours before he turned it off

What I really do have problems with is this new guy making burgers or other fast foods with the oven too many times a day, The rent is pretty decent and a very good deal, but I did it on the assumption of fairness. I just think he wants to eat his cake and have it. He should just go and rent his one room apartment and pay bills if he wants to enjoy using up utilities.

I ve told him to limit it to cooker use and very limited use of the oven, but I think he still uses it often. What I am saying is that he just cooks every little thing all the time, but wants to pay little rent for it. We didn't have any written contract, just casual verbal agreement.

He hasn't really stayed long, but I am not finding him comfortable again to live with. Are my annoyances out of place, can someone help me see what I am not understanding, as I am relatively new to the housesharing concept
I do feel he is taking advantage of the fact I like things casual and not too strict, especially with someone you share same house with, and in turn expecting people to behave maturely.

Edit.
I ll add that the only clause he significantly mentioned before moving was that he cooks everyday, and in hindsight, I am wondering who really mentions that to a prospective subletter unless they ve had that as a problem with previous subletters

Comments

    • +7

      Ultimately your house, your rules

      This only applies to guests, not so much tenants.

      • In this context do you think the flatmate would take the primary leaseholder to the tribunal if he offered a refund and a reasonable time to vacate. I'd think its fairly unlikely and even more unlikely for a tribunal to make a determination forcing them to live with one another not withstanding the apparent incompatibilities.

        • +6

          The tribunal enforces the law which provides protections for tenants including 90 days notice to vacate and given the restriction of essential cooking facilities would most likely offer the flatmate a partial refund of any rent paid to compensate for these restrictions. They might even provide further compensation for the primary leaseholder's disturbance of the flatmate's right to the quiet enjoyment of the room they rented and facilities of the house.

        • @colinjames:

          haha you're in a dream world… just kick the guy out.

        • I wouldn't be remotely concerned about being forced to live together, I'd be concerned about the OP getting a fine for running a dodgy sublet. He's leasing without a written agreement, he's subletting without permission from the landlord and if there's a bond he's presumably flouting the law on protecting that too.

          And that's ignoring the fact that the OP is incredibly unreasonable.

  • +29

    Is this post a joke? The things that annoy you about this guy are kinda lame. Your ground rules are pretty unfair yet you say you like things casual but it's not sounding that way at all, more like you want everything on your own terms but that rarely happens when you're living with other people. Sounds like you shouldn't be house sharing if you're going to be so anal about someone cooking everyday 😂😂

      • +20

        You mention nothing of this feeling of racism until now, conveniently.

        What did you think the rent payment was actually for, if not the room in the house and use of the facilities within the house ?

        • +6

          I was wondering the same thing 🤔 You can have the room but please don't use anything within the actual house as that's not what house sharing is about! 😂😂😂😂

        • +6

          You would need to explain the racist remarks or actions using your words since they seem to be a feeling created after the initial posting conveniently.

          Do you just ignore difficult questions you do not like. I can see why you may be having issues with communication with your subtenant.
          What did you think the rent payment was actually for, if not the room in the house and use of the facilities within the house ?

        • +13

          Activate racism card

        • @Bluebutton: You didn't mention him being racist before. I'm wondering though if he is racist why he would agree to share a property with you.

        • +2

          @pikapika: Lol I've lived in places like that, my neighbour had a hotplate and portable oven (which I still think is toy XD).

        • +1

          @anastasiastarz: Oh my gosh 😱

      • +2

        Okay, so now he's a surprise racist too. Please, elaborate.

        • -7

          The fact he makes odd comments about people of my race and the fact he made inappropriate remarks twice when we encountered at the door. Isn't it stupid for someone I gave a copy of the key to still question whether I own the place i rent. I am not writing to convince or explain anything to you cos who wears the shoe always knows where it hurts.

        • +7

          @Bluebutton:
          Did he or did he not make a comment about your race?

          You taking offence to an off the cuff sarcastic comment, ie.

          Are you sure you live here? I've never seen your before?

          because you are from a different culture, does not make him racist, you are making an assumption that he wouldn't make that same comment to someone of his own culture.
          If he said something about your cultur. ie.

          how do i know you live here? Your kind are always breaking into homes

          would be of concern.

        • +7

          @lowlife: Agreed.

          I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that the housemates that OP likes are the same race as OP and the one he doesn't like is a different race…

        • +5

          @Bluebutton: Let me clarify the "do you live here" joke, as I feel this is something I'd make without meaning any offence. At least for the people I'm around, it's common to poke fun at each other, just because we can. If I made that joke, I'd hope it was funny for two reasons
          1) Clearly you live there, I'm playing a fool by acting like I might not be sure
          2) It reminds us of the other day when you asked me to let you in, it was a shared experience, and though brief an opportunity to bond

          Unless there's more to the story, it sounds like an attempt at a lame joke. Not an attempt to be racist.

        • +1

          @Lockdude:
          Op has returned yet dodged the question. I think we all can deduce the answer from that.

    • Thats what I was thinking .. OP' complaints are all about fairly minor things really.
      Im sure the house-mate also has some things that he doesn't like.
      OP probably needs to be more flexible and considerate, or else not rent out to share house at all.
      It is quite likely that the previous house share person felt wronged and felt that the OP' dictatorship was unfair, but maybe they were too nice or not assertive enough to speak up about it. Previous house share tenant moved out, maybe because of how OP is towards tenant.

      • -1

        I never made any rule whatsoever to the previous housemates. I don't even like to give them and we lived maturely all through

  • I'd be careful about him knocking on your neighbour's house which is your landlord. Did the roommate move in after you signed your own contract? I don't rent but this may be an issue if your bringing in people to live with you that's not in the agreement.

    • -5

      That was a big thing to me as it was just the day he moved in he did it. So he didn't even give me time to notify the agency of his entry before going all berserk.

      • +28

        So now you're blaming him for not notifying the landlord?

        Is it possible that you can do anything wrong at all?

      • Assuming he did it reasonably politely, knocking on the door and asking the owner to retrieve their dog is not at all "berserk".

        With respect to your original question, maybe just gently ask the guy if he could maybe use the microwave instead of the oven?

        • Use a Microwave (assuming tenancy doesn't have a convection unit) to cook/grill fact food? You're kidding, right?

        • @xuqi:

          A convection oven is much cheaper and more applicable than a microwave

  • +4

    Increase his payment if you observe a significant increase in the electricity bill. That's all!
    I don't think you can or should limit his cooking, or choose what he is going to eat for dinner. (!)
    You can talk to him about the other annoying things and ask him to leave if the things don't work out after some time, but that should not be related to the cooking in any way.

      • +42

        That's unreasonable. People easy every day not once a week. You sound crazy.

        • +2

          People are forgetting this is a share house.. new housemate isn't on the same wave length, they need to either kick him out or change agreement

          for a share house I'd disconnect the oven and have 1 or convection ovens much more energy efficent

      • No need arguing. I guess i ll have to increase the rent then

      • +1

        If you spoke to him to reduce major oven use to once a week, you are limiting his normal cooking. That's nonsense!
        If you find his cooking or other habits annoying, you might have to kick him.
        About your edit: "I ll add that the only clause he significantly mentioned before moving was that he cooks everyday, and in hindsight, I am wondering who really mentions that to a prospective subletter unless they ve had that as a problem with previous subletters"
        It seems to me that he was transparent since the beginning and that's exactly what he's been doing (cooking every day). I don't think you have anything to complain, although I do think he will have to pay if you notice an increase in energy usage. Then, you both will have to sit as two adults and talk about that.

      • +6

        You only want him to use the oven once a week? That's nuts.

      • +3

        Once a week!? Now that is ridiculous. I've lived in plenty of share houses, guys who do nothing but watch TV and play video games,to guys that are home once a week. It's just how it is, not everyone does or enjoys the same things..

        It's clear that YOU are not going to get along with this person, so it's best to ask them to move out. Otherwise the best suggestion so far is comparing the electricity bill (would need to be against the same quarter last year) and show him the increase in usage.

        Just looked up what it costs to run an oven, and now I think the best course of action is for you both to agree(all 3?) to put $1 in a tin for each hour of oven use. So if he uses it 3 hours a day, he pays $3 etc.

        But let's take it further and put another tin on top of the fridge. I'm thinking 5-10c for each time it's opened?

      • Once a week use of an oven is in no way 'reasonable' so as many have suggested either; modify your expectations, or end the agreement and ask him to move out.

        Consider noting down all your idiosyncrasies and making them known to any new potential tenants, lest you end up in the same predicament..

      • you crazy man

    • +1

      I used to stay in shared accommodation, where everything for included in the rent. But if electricity charges goes above certain limit, landlord would take it from us and we were OK with it. I cannot see any reason, you wouldn't talk to your tenant about the same thing. Show him your past electricity bills and show the current one, else you can ask him to leave politely and for set the ground rules for next tenant.

  • +1

    What's wrong with using the oven for lunch and dinner? And are you both Asian?

    • +6

      hmmmm agree i feel you, OP.
      i will get annoyed too if someone using big oven to cook 1 person meals, everyday.

    • +1

      Nothing wrong with using the oven for meals.

      But what's with the profiling?

      • Reminds me of my Asian bf.

        • +2

          You just need an answer to confirm your bias. It is not relevant, the mentioned issues are quite universal.

  • +19

    OP is definitely mainland Chinese lol

    • +5

      OP Above

      I kinda feel he is racist

  • +8

    I love the phrase "to snooge off".. No idea what it means but I am definitely using it from here on.

    p.s. It sounds like your housemate likes to have dinner. Don't we all? Stop being a Grinch.

  • +2

    Unplug the oven and get him a little toaster oven.

  • +8

    If your writing three paragraphs about "cooking" you definitely have a problem with it. Despite saying

    "he cooks everyday" which I do not have problem with

  • thanks now i know when looking for sharemate: i will draft the lease agreement saying no smelly cooking

    • I'm sure my boss will have that clause if he has an investment property.

  • +12

    To be honest, both you and your flatmate sound crazy. You should not have a flatmate and neither should he.
    That way he can be sure that whoever opens the door (he would) lives there, and you can save on utilities.
    You cannot restrict use of parts of the kitchen. Where will it stop? Only have sex once a week as otherwise the bed/mattress/floor is used too intensively too much?
    I really would not want to live with either of you. Somebody watching me like a hawk to see what I do or don't do is crazy and not acceptable.

  • -1

    If I were you I'd ask for this thread to be closed, there are enough advice here already.

    The rest are not able/willing to look at the context of your situation

    • Needs at least 200 more comments before it gets closed.

  • +1

    bikies!

    • -4

      Such an immature response.

      • +1

        would you say that to a bikie?

    • +1

      Foodies!

  • +42

    Most of your complaints sound insane to be perfectly frank. I would suggest you ask your housemate to leave as it's not working out, but TBH it's mostly from your inability to adapt to the way other people live. Not everyone wants to eat out, cook food on the stove, or use a microwave.

    1. You were away a week near the beginning of his tenancy, and all he did was make a joke about you seeming like a stranger since you were away so long. Instead of trying to understand it from his perspective, you took yourself too seriously and chose to take offence.

    2. "and found out he used the oven too many times a week." < this makes you sound crazy and strict!

    3. If your oven is smoking and setting off the smoke alarm, then you likely need to clean your oven.

    4. Knocking on the door of a neighbour and letting them know their pet is in your yard is a perfectly reasonable action.

    5. "he is taking advantage of the fact I like things casual and not too strict" < clearly you're far from casual. You sound like you have some control issues, and would do better with someone who is submissive and of a similar culture to you.

    • +10

      I think Number 1 is the most important. This is exactly the type of joke I would tell in that same situation. Therefore it's funny and he must be a great guy.

  • +13

    Lets be slightly objective here.
    We won't take into account your oven use, if any, as we are only looking at the increase in the utility cost, not the share of it.

    An average modern oven uses 1000 to 5000W depending on temp. If we look at a solid temp for cooking something over the course of 1 hour (medium high) we average out at 2400W. Your will have lower wattage for slow cooking things like roasts, and higher wattage for fast hot cooking, so it evens out.

    at .33c per KWH, we are looking at .79c for every hour he cooks.

    If he cooks every day of the year, twice a day, that's around a $578.22 increase in utility costs, per year. That's two hours per day, which I suggest is well above the actual use.

    Now I understand there are 3? of you in house? that brings the utility cost increase for yourself, up to $192 per year. Lets call it $200 per year.

    Over 12 months, we are looking at $16 a month increase in your individual costs, directly from the housemates actions.
    Personally, I would quit searching for a reason to dislike this person, and start realising you need to coexist while in this situation.

    I'd make it as simple as asking "If you are cooking while others are home, please cook for all." this will negate any cooking costs you may accrue by cooking for yourself after the housemate has cooked, it also means you are getting your $16 worth of utilities made up in the labour the housemate puts into cooking your meal. He only needs to cook for you once a month and you are back in the black. If he covers the cost of the food as well, you will be even further ahead and better off.

    Of course if you are going to be pedantic over $16 a month, expect the housemate to do the same in return if anything at all is used more so by yourself.

    • -1

      should be easy for the new flat mate to pay extra over prior periods then right?

      They're living in a share house, so that gives them the right to be pedantic over shared cost

      • +1

        No ones taking any rights away from the OP, and the housemate paying extra is a perfectly plausible scenario.

        But if I'm going to chose to put myself in a shared house scenario, I would understand I would have to make some sacrifices and work with the personalities of the other tenants. So ideas outside the box may (or may not) be useful.

    • +2

      I assume the new housemate is paying over $32 a month so he has probably more than covered the oven costs in his rent. He is paying for the room and use of shared facilities after all.

    • Your assumption about oven energy consumption sounds ways off. No way an oven burns 2kwh per hour unless you open the lid every 5 mịn. Actually I'm gonna roast my pork tonight and report back😉

      • just finished the cooking and in the first hours my meter jumped 1.4kwH, this is for standard 3kW oven, with TV and other daily electronics running like router, modem and fridge running in the background so the actual figure probably for the oven is around 1kwh.

  • +5

    I think the problem is you don’t like his lifestyle. You can either re negotiate the terms with him or get a new one. Otherwise its no point arguing with folks on the internet.

  • +16

    Hahaha using the oven too many times a week. Never heard that one before.

    • There's always a first time for everything here on OZB. :)

  • +1

    OP, remember you are the master of your own destiny.

    Interesting to learn about how much energy and $ my oven uses though, the comments are why I love OzB.

  • +13

    Basically, you don't like him because you don't share the same diet. You view his diet as "unnecessary" and "junk food," and because you limit that consumption, you expect him to do the same. You have to realise and accept that people live different lifestyles and if you're unhappy to share with other lifestyles, then … simply, don't.

    Until then, personal use of the oven, even multiple times a day, is perfectly normal. Until he starts selling food commercially, you have nothing to complain about. He actually sounds like a good guy: giving you a courtesy notice that the kitchen will be shared before moving in. How you turned that into a "red flag," I have no idea.

  • +7

    OP shouldn't be house sharing if he doesn't like to live with other peoples lifestyle. Limiting someone cooking on the oven is absolutely absurd!

    I never knew that some people will have issues with other people cooking everyday? WTF? Are they meant to get take out everyday or something?

    "He should just go and rent his one room apartment and pay bills if he wants to enjoy using up utilities."

    I think you should live by yourself

    • +1

      Its the oven use that's the culprit, heavy electricity usage.

      When I first moved out, I Used the oven a lot, after a while connected it with a higher energy bill compared to others.

      Explained why my mother avoided the oven as well

  • +2

    It sounds like sharing is not for you or you need to adjust your attidude a little.

    If he is setting off the smoke alarm then the smoke alarm is in the wrong place. Smoke alarms DON'T go in kitchens, you will likely have a lot of false alarms if you do. The purpose of a smoke alarm is not to tell you there is a fire when you are awake, it is to wake when you when there is a fire and you are asleep.

  • +8

    I think you've gotta live alone friend..

  • +21

    guys, some advice please: every day when i drive to work, other people drive on the road too! i mean once or twice a week is ok, but being on the roads 5 days a week, come on. they should really be considerate and only drive a few times, no more than twice. how do i fix this problem i have? ive tried beeping at every driver i see but they just give me the finger.

    • +4

      I agree this is a major issue, I waste so much petrol idling waiting for the traffic lights. If people would limit their driving to once a week then we would not have this issue of waiting for multiple light changes and I would be able to get through after the first red.

    • I think you should take public transport. Great for the environment aswell.

    • Don't even get me started with the toilets in the park behind my house. All kinds of random people are using it, and it gets worse during public holidays. Why can't these people limit their public toilet use to may be once a week or so?

  • bills shared, problem solved - now fight to see who uses more electricity/gas!

    • -3

      I will also be dead honest with you - but for you to come onto ozbargain and look for advice from dudes behind a keyboard shows that you are weak
      and I will make a second strong opinion and say that if you are going to look for a subtenant - you need to find someone with a weaker personality than you otherwise you will have this mental power struggle where the subtenant is holding your nuts
      nobody has time for that

      if you want harmony in your house - don't let anyone with a strong personality into your home. Find someone new that knows this is your home and to not mess around like at a hostel

      if you can manage to give those (vibes) to the next subtenant then you have won the fight - be humble at the same time, don't be an ass but don't show any weakness

      and FYI a lot of people lie to get their foot in the door - just don't make this mistake again. trust your first impression, trust your intuition and make a judgement call when you find a new subtenant. don't hope that your next subtenant is a good person, make sure they ARE a good person. If your intuition says one thing is off then find a new candidate

      if you can't pull this off then get your GF to find a female subtenant, if you GF is insecure about another girl living here then sorry you're in for a sad subletting life. Man up..

      • +11

        Man, to be dead honest with you, you come across as a complete a**hole. THe purpose of life is not to bully others, and you will be angry and miserable all your life if you think it is.

        Sounds like both you and the OP are people who lack the mutual tolerance to share living with anyone and should live alone.

        • the point was to give him courage and strength - you're one of those people who read what they want to see

          if i was OP's friend i would be telling him how much of an idiot he is so he wakes up

        • +1

          @RainbowHands:

          Why give him courage and strength for being such a tw@?

          OP is being an utter drama queen who honestly should not be subletting.

        • @gearhead: agreed, he should not be subletting

  • +6

    OP's post was excruciating to read.

    • +3

      I feel smugged on the face after reading it.

    • The grammar 'nd' spelling hurt my eyes.

  • +15

    Some suggestions:

    • Lock the oven with a suitable child lock.
    • Gradually swap out your current plates with smaller plates. He will start to reduce portion size and will eventually move down to 2 meals per day. I did this to my last sub tenant.
    • Turn the oven off at the fuse box - and lock the fuse box. You can tell him that the oven has broken. I plan to do this with my next sub tenant.
    • Change the locks.
    • Call the police and tell them of the situation. I am sure they will charge him with something.. i.e. Excessive oven usage or Dangerous cooking.
    • Coin operated oven.. make a profit whilst your at it.
    • Tell him the landlord has asked him to leave after the dog incident.
    • Buy him a small grill to use in his room whilst he is playing Fortnite.
    • Last but not least.. take a chill pill. You sound very worked up over not much. Life is not worth it, and will be over before you know it. Enjoy your time, don't sweat the small things.
  • limit him to use oven not cooking, that is fair enough otherwise KICK him out and find a new housemate

    • +7

      limit him to use oven not cooking, that is fair enough

      The guy is not staying in the house for free, he is paying rent which goes towards the cost of utilities. What does OP think rent money is for? To say you cannot cook in the kitchen just because you eat different style of meals is crazy.

  • OP has the blues and misses old flat mate big time. No one can compare.
    Does the other flat mate like the new one ? (remember he dobbed in the new flatmate about “over-cooker usage” when OP was away.)
    OP eluded to the flatmate using the oven to warm his plate in the oven. (I’m guessing he’s warming up his Maccas too.)
    Is the flatmate allowed to warm his plate up with hot running water/boiled kettle water ?

  • Both of you are not suitable for each other as housemates. Your housemate doesn’t have the ozbargainer mindset, he uses the oven too many times. Personally I only use the oven once in 2/3 weeks and if someone was using it everyday 2-3 times, I would kick them out. It’s waste of money, energy, resources and kitchen time, when same thing could be done on a pan for fraction of cost and time. No point arguing or explaining to them.

    • +1

      Cooking in the oven is fine. The "excessive" cost is laughably insignificant.

      Your housemate doesn’t have the ozbargainer mindset, he uses the oven too many times

      Yeah no sorry. Ozbargainer mindset is not picking corn kernels out of shit, unless the situation demands it.

      It’s waste of money, energy, resources and kitchen time, when same thing could be done on a pan for fraction of cost and time. No point arguing or explaining to them

      Cooking in the oven can be a healthier option in certain circumstances. E.g. roasted/steamed vs pan-fried with oil.

  • -1

    Don't worry about cooking, that nothing. Wait til he bang your GF. I would never let another guy live with my GF such a bad idea.

    • Right on.

    • +1

      And he put bun in her oven also ;)

    • Oh my god, tell your girlfriend to beaK up with you, seriously. It's her choice who she lives with

    • +2

      You sound pretty insecure

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