R U OK OzBargainers? (2017)

From knowing heaps of depressed people and people who cut themselves to feel good, I can say for certain their lives get better.
There are ups and downs for everyone in life and suicide is NEVER a solution.

thelastnoob

This is great, had a friend commit suicide recently. Glad to see Ozbargain putting out the awareness

engineeringprof

started seeing a psychologist this week after thoughts of suicide. It's been hard but its helping and it's FREEE if you are a uni student (perhaps this can be posted into Freebies section haha)

Anyone who's feeling down, don't give up. Seek help because it gets better.

lakers1222

These are just a few comments from last year.


R U OK?

R U OK? Day is an annual day in September (today, 14/9) dedicated to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference and even save lives.

The comments we received last year plus all the PMs we received are part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

One of the biggest challenges to OzBargain and other online community sites is promoting an environment where everyone feels comfortable commenting in deals and discussions. Given OzBargain is about scrutinizing deals in an open and honest environment, we can sometimes get negative comments that affect other users.

We should all recognise that our comments have consequences both positive and negative. People don't come here to be attacked or bullied. While some people may say suck it up and people should not be so sensitive, we should be aware that we don't truly know the people behind these accounts. Some are young, some may come to here to escape a tough reality, be mentally unbalanced, or they possibly could have thick skin. We just don't know. On the flip side, something as a simple gesture like thanking someone or sending a friendly PM can go a long way. At the beginning of the year, we made a post about contributing to a more positive OzBargain environment and we've had some great results changing some users behaviour by thinking about the impacts of their words.

Ask family, friends and colleagues how they are doing but don't forget to ask your family of OzBargainers how they are doing. We have forums where you can discuss relationships or anything else off-topic.

You can also feel free to chat with us in the private Talk with a Moderator forum if you have any OzBargain related issues. Or send me a PM about whatever you want (except moderation issues). Please see our Mental Health Page if you need to speak to someone including live chat.

For confidential advice and support call a crisis support line – such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

:)

I'm overseas ATM so won't be able to respond immediately to messages

Related Stores

R U OK? Day
R U OK? Day

Comments

        • +1

          @Scrooge McDuck:
          I shall try, I have a really bad memory these days. But I will try my best.

        • +1

          @Originality:

          Thank you!

          I have a really bad memory these days.

          I knew a depressed person who said exactly that. But with time they were able to recall a heckuva lot! :)

          I think their perspective on their memory and other abilities stemmed from a lack of confidence. With practice and a more positive attitude they improved greatly.

    • +5

      I'm 32… I felt my lowest at 21. Slept the whole year, hoped to die… Took a few long walks looking for tall buildings.

      In my experience, things get better. Not necessarily great, but better.

      You come to accept yourself, flaws and all, and get better at living with some of the negative feelings that follow us through life.

      I'm still awkward sometimes, angry sometimes, down sometimes, but I'm used to it.

      Try to separate the pain you have thrust upon you from the pain you cause yourself.

      We are our own worst critics.

      Find something you enjoy, and do it. Work out, cook, read, play videogames, doesn't matter what it is - just matters that you enjoy yourself sometimes.

      Best wishes for you. Pm me if you ever want to talk.

      Music and stand up comedy work well.
      Marijuana actually helped a whole lot too.
      I haven't smoked in ages, so I feel I have perspective on whether it was useful.

      • I am proud of you.
        Good work with fighting the fight.
        I am trying, but I feel like my mind gave up long ago.

        • Sometimes it's worth giving up on certain things, a job that isn't working for you, a partner that isn't supportive, dreams that seem to destroy ones everyday reality, ideals that lead to feelings which are less than ideal.

          I used to go to the park, feel the sun on my face, listen to the wind, and notice there was nothing wrong right now.

          Ask yourself if you always feel rubbish. If there's a time you don't feel rubbish, do that more, and everything else less.

  • on the topic, I thought this was great https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_T9Jg0U2DA

  • +5

    Got another rejection call yesterday… the possibility of me graduating with no job is becoming more and more realistic… I wasted the past 5 years of my life…

    • +3

      Graduating and not getting a job right away is normal.
      Please stay positive friend, you can do it. It just takes time!

    • +1

      How many jobs have you applied for? How long have you been applying? You can't always get the job you want straight away, so get another job for the mean time while still applying for jobs.

    • +3

      Tidy it is such a rite of passage. I did an arts degree a million years ago and graduated into nothingness and it was the worst feeling. You will find a job and go from there, just keep chipping away at it. It takes a lot of courage to bear repeated rejection and you're doing that, so keep on carrying on, it will get better.

    • +3

      Dam, I wish I had a rejection call. The best I get are automated rejection emails 3 months later.
      As someone else said, it's normal not to graduate with a job lined up. Just keep sending out those applications.

    • +5

      I wasted the past 5 years of my life…

      Only if you learnt nothing.

    • +2

      if they called you, it means you got pretty high up in the selection process.

      normally they ignore you, or send a standard rejection template with your name inserted.

    • Hey Tidy, you still have one year after your graduation date to keep looking. Keep going :)

      I'm 8 months in from graduating last year, and still working on it.

      Been to several interviews this month, just need to wait for that offer. I hope you have more luck and success than me :D.

    • Hey Tidy - I know the feeling, after I graduated from a 6 year double degree I couldn't get a gig while all my friends did. For nearly 2 years I worked casually for $20 an hour doing everything I could to get a foot in the door somewhere, anywhere. It is a really hard period of life. But trust me, keep at it and you will get there. It may not be where you envisioned when you studied or graduated, it may be somewhere completely unexpected, but eventually the phone will ring and you will find yourself finally moving forward.
      Goodluck friend.

  • Pretty sad about how Collingwood performed this year, but overall I'm ok.

  • +3

    Hope everyone here feels loved and protected by those close to them. For those like me that don’t R U OK? Lifeline 13 11 14 & Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636. Reach out and ask for help if you feel you need it

  • +1

    And here I was thinking we'd changed to 'No frills' branding

    • +1

      You mean Black and Gold?

      • That's the one!

  • +1

    I'm bummed out about missing out on $100million dollars for not going out and buying lots of dog food. As flybuy was paying people $2.25 per item for buying it. :(

    • I'm bummed out about missing out on $100million dollars for not going out and buying lots of dog food.

      Well at least your weight hasn't suffered. :)

      • Well can always donate the food to homeless!

        For dogs ofcourse.

        and the food is great, my little dog loves it! Smells and tastes yummy even I wanna eat it!~

  • I am fine and are you all OK?

  • +13

    Stop using social media.

    Seriously, if you're even just a little depressed, get off social media. It's so damaging for some people.

    Social media makes the depressed even more depressed.

    Find something you enjoy doing and do that instead! I know, easier said than done.

    I don't use social media, so simple for me to say. But I do see the real world effects it has on others even if it is just anecdotal.

    • +2

      Even reading the news is depressing, unless you're a property investor or sports fan.

      • +4

        FB likes to suggest/recommend these negative articles and issues where the journalist came out the sewer, appealing to SJWs over issues that have been blown out of proportion or taken out of context.

        Definitely recommend staying away from FB if you're feeling down. It's a cesspool of shit and drama and the barrage of shit news slowly eats away at you like cancer.

    • +1

      I so agree, there was a great segment on JJJ this morning where one of the presenters opened up about the impact all the hate that came from people on him. He cried. It was very hard to listen to. Social media has become a strange and poisonous world where people attack others under the guise of free speech, it's very disturbing.

    • +1

      100x this. Don't FB. It's bad for you. Look at that list of friends and be honest, how many of these people would you stop and talk to in the street?

      Well done.

  • Well apart from everything being on OzBargain at a cheaper price than I paid a couple of days before and wanting to split with the missus….. Could be worse I guess.

  • +2

    I'm OK, just OK, and I'm OK with being just OK.

    That has made all the difference for me.

    • +3

      Contentment is key to happiness. :)

  • +5

    Thanks for the reminder OzB. As a result of your banner today, I shared the following with my friends today (redacted)

    How are we all doing today? It's been an overwhelming few weeks for us & let's be honest, we're not really okay. I'm certainly not. We're pushing through it, but there's plenty of tears along the way. We live a pretty charmed life. I've got a good job, a boss who understands the importance of our new venture, and great family & friends around me. I know that not everyone does though, and even for those that do, today's a good reminder to ask Are You OKAY?

    This cafe business is overwhelming. So many things to be done, and constantly discovering new ones. I don't know how people do this when they're entirely dedicated to it. "Significant Other" has been amazing working at the shop alone most days, and we've had such great help from her brother & friends, but it's a constant struggle to get to the end before the money runs out. I'm not used to flying this close to the sun, and have nothing but respect for anyone who's started their own business. My head knows we'll be fine, but the constant fear and sleepless nights are still there. Not sleeping just puts you in a bit of a spiral, and soon enough you've got this constant ache in the pit of your stomach & in your chest.

    We keep pushing on.

    We lost one of our beautiful chooks a couple of weeks back. I know most people won't understand, much like we didn't understand how people felt about their cats & dogs in the past. With no kids though, they are our extended family & it hurts a lot to lose them. She'll be with us in the cafe though. In the name, and in print on the wall (I can't wait to show you all). I'll probably end up tearing up when I tell customers about her though. I'm sure of it actually given I'm tearing up just writing this.

    We have a new girl joining our flock. Full of cuddles, but never a replacement. We keep pushing on.

    Then to top it off, we're robbed this week. They took sentimental items. Gifts from people since passed and from friends. They took items of value. They took stuff we need to open the cafe & will need to replace. Insurance company will get around to helping eventually, perhaps, but that feeling of being invaded just doesn't go away. Your own home feels unclean. You wonder "why us". It's not your fault… but knowing that doesn't stop the feelings. So glad to have my brother come around to help get the door back up. Not because we couldn't have sorted the front door ourselves, but having someone drop everything to lend a hand when you're feeling the most vulnerable means the world. Thanks Bro.

    & thanks mate for offering to lend me some gear so we can keep the social media for the shop on track as we barrel towards opening. We keep pushing on.

    I'm not okay today. I'm not a suicide risk, but I'm not okay. I'm tired, angry, emotionally drained & overwhelmed all at once. If I could just pull the blanket over my head & stay in bed for days on end I would. & I feel stupid about it because frankly, I know how good we have it, I have contingency plans for the things I can't control (no matter how unpalatable they might be), and I know we'll be fine in the long run. I know though that if I can feel like this, given the charmed life I live, that I don't want my friends & family feeling this way, or feeling like they don't have support when they need it.

    So I ask again, Are You OKAY? & if you're ever not okay, please let me know, I'll try to ask more often. I'll do whatever I can to help. Together, we'll keep pushing on.

    • +2

      I'm sorry for your loss. 👊

      It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

      • +2

        Cheers… We've got it good all in all, but as a mate said stress & money do weird things to your head. I figure better to share though, not just for me, but so that friends know that it's okay to share as well

  • +4

    I'm 27 and still a virgin. I don't know if it's OK.

    • +3

      That is ok.

      Being virgin is fine. Not sure why society has placed this concept of being a virgin as being negative.

      • +1

        Not sure why society has placed this concept of being a virgin as being negative

        or positive.

    • +11

      At least you're not a Vegan.

    • +2

      Hmm welcome to Ozbargain….

    • +2

      Once upon a time I was a eneloop virgin.. now I dont look back.. :P

      • after while i guess you just know where to stick it.

        • definitely after a looong hard charge

  • +6

    I love how they mention this at work, yet it's such a toxic environment.

    • +1

      yep. it's basically a ploy to shift the blame on workers, accusing them of depression/mental illness when the issue is usually with management.

      someone should ask their boss, R U OK? i mean, R U ACTUALLY NORMAL? or were you born a narcissist?

      • Define normal.

        • not a narcissist

        • @insular: Where do you draw the line though? When does someone go from simply self-centred, selfish or vain to a narcissist?

        • @pennypincher98: there's a test out there somewhere. need like 5 out of 7. do it for them and you'll know.

        • @insular: I was thinking of doing it for myself really.. Good to know

  • +1

    I think a "consider leaving your job with an abusive boss" day would be nice. Or maybe a national day of firing people who get off of ruining people's days.

  • +3

    It's always heartwarming when you're a bit older like me to see how far we've come as a culture and society when it comes to mental illness and depression.

    Yes, we can always get better but we're moving in the right direction.

  • -1

    is it ok for murderers to commit suicide?

  • No!

    Changed answer on exam from correct to incorrect.

    • Gah. My sympathies. I was so this that I had to make a rule I was only allowed to change 2 answers per exam. Marks shot up!

    • +1

      You idiot!

      Nah, jk, try not to worry about things that aren't worse than death :D

      • There comes a time where death is viewed as a good thing…
        Yeah, I'm that sadist who takes the sunshine out of every place.

        Oh well, getting better at not being so dark, cynical and self-deprecating.

  • +1

    One door shuts another opens. Listen without judgement. Just by listening could be useful.

  • enjoy your holiday

  • +1

    R U OK? to all fellow sufferers and kindred spirits. ((( ))) from a sufferer of major depressive disorder, PTSD and eating disorders.

  • +4

    Goodnight humans, let's keep the compassion going tomorrow and the next day…

    I will now celebrate by eating a Snickers bar, because I earnt it.

    Scrooge out.

    • +1

      Enjoy!

    • +1

      Thank you for your words throughout this entire thread Scrooge, they've helped this lurker out tremendously.

  • RUOK NEIL?

  • +3

    Depression is a symptom of the world we live in. Well for me anyway… I have grown to hate everything around me. I do have an exit plan, which I will finally be able to make a success shortly. I won't go into details of what that plan entails, as I don't want to give anyone ideas, so much bullshit with this 'are you ok' day, nobody really gives a shit.

    • +5

      I give a shit.

      You feel crap now but in time that will pass and you will be happy again. Don't let your depressed self rob your future self of happiness.

      I'm sure you have friends and family who would be greatly hurt by your absence.

      Please send me a PM. 👍

    • +5

      No feeling is permanent. Even the very worst feelings are temporary. Try concentrating on something you can be grateful for. Right now, millions of people in the world would love being safe indoors in Australia on the internet. I am NOT dismissing what troubles you, but I promise you gratitude is a healthy habit so I encourage you to find something to be grateful for as a step towards a better outlook.

    • +4

      I give a shit and many people that you know would too, a lot of people just don't ask R U OK or anything as it's often portrayed as a sign of weakness especially among men, that's what days like RUOK are trying to change.

      Earlier this year a guy from my school ended his life one weekend, he didn't have many friends at school and the ones that he did have at school weren't really close friends, nobody suspect it he always seemed fine.
      When he ended his life everyone at school was really hurt, some student's where in disbelief.
      So people do care, but not all people show it they bury there feelings down.

      Please seek some help manicman cause I do care, pm me anytime :)

    • +2

      Look at the bright side of life..no problem or issues are permenant. Time heals all wounds. Go outside , see the people ..we are human with great mental power and blissful soul…get out of your room and there will be hope of Ray..give it a try …

  • +3

    Depression is just shit> In the middle of it, have had lots of suicidal thoughts recently, only thing keeping me from it is my gf far away. Uni student bout to graduate and no idea what to do, got no job lined up. No friends or family to talk to, life is just me being in my room all day doing god knows what and two crappy flatmates that make fuss that I'd need to clean up, (and lots of OzBargaining ofc). Used to blame the environment, but now just accepted I'm a POS, and the vicious cycle goes on. Social media keeps reminding how crappy and pathetic my life is, yet need to use it to do groupwork, so I can't quit it. No hope in sight, just hoping to survive through the end of semester. FML

    • +3

      No friends or family to talk to

      Your under 25? If you just want to talk to someone Headspace has echat and over the phone support, there's Kids Helpline too they do up to 25y olds as well and I believe they have 24/7 phone support/chat.
      There's me and lots of Ozbargainer's to talk to as well, send me a pm anytime :)

    • You'll survive …life is much more than problems…keep the faith in your self..go to play ground..meet new people…there will always be someone who wants to talk and listen…

  • +5

    It's been a rough few years and sometimes i think i'm getting too good at not being truthful about being fine. Everyday i think about plucking up the courage to say i think i'm over the facade of being okay. But then at the end of the day i find myself in bed and did nothing about it.

    Seems like it's an atomated response when someone asks how you are, you say good and ask the same. It's not really a question more social courtesy. At some stage in our lives we find ourself in a bad place and it feels like a hole you can't get out of. Sometimes it feels like you are only covering yourself in dirty by doing so.

    I appreciate that this day exsists and that Ozbargain is participating.

  • +4

    Thanks for all the very honest and open comments + PMs (I'm overseas so sorry for delay). Issues involving mental health are not easily solved (like an IT solution) but the point of the day isn't to try to fix but to start a meaningful conversation. We will continue promoting mental health awareness and my hope is that we can do this more than once a year with some other initiatives (maybe something as simple as a reminder). I'd also like to see some framework for mental health issues in the online world (e.g. how websites/moderators should handle issues).

    As always, you're always free to ping me or any of the other moderators.

  • +2

    I am feeling so bad because there are so many people out there struggling with depression and other problems…do not worry guys…there will be bright day in life..this is just the rough phase of life..hope everyone is okay..

  • +3

    Awesome work guys, as someone who hasn't previously had exposure to the issues of mental health (simply due to lack of awareness) these initiatives are refreshing to get the topic on the table for everyday folk to discuss. While a long road to go I've certainly seen the signs in my workplace (and also in social life) of people being more willing to ask others how they are going, and likewise for people to reach out for help when needed.

    My team at work just completed our fundraising for the Black Dog Institute last week, was a great day and we raised $7650 (over $22,000 in total).

    https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/news/news-detail/2017/0…

    • +1

      Wow, that's insane — Congratulations!

      Terrific work, people like you are saving the world one thing at a time.

  • +1

    My situation is aligned to many on OZBARGAIN - the "achievement" or success of getting a great deal or snagging a bargain (of which there are countless ego stories of) really has brought on a material surplus/excess in my life, but kept me "alive", just across the line of depression and "not being ok"…

    The story being that
    a) i moved back to melb after working overseas for a few years
    b) as with all the other "immigrant" stories out there- overqualified with work experience but unable to penetrate the conservative job market (seeking for local or local industry experience) lead me to from a 6 figure salary to a $30K p.a. call centre job.
    c) this started the depression,
    d) leading to many impulse buys, and this was when catchoftheday pretty much started
    e) and not being able to save any $$$ for a proper house, but rent only a pigeon hole close enough to cbd to save on forever increasing transportation
    f) then ending up in a failed "relationship" of a month which lead to a pregnancy which lead to a intervention order and court orders and a child in a "broken family" which has obviously lead to further $$$ problems due to having to include lawyers in the picture and along the way from (d) cultivated a wee gambling problem

    No- life is hard - we see so many taxi drivers , office cleaners and "trade" jobs where the people have PhDs or Masters Degrees… but doing these … and today, i found the problem occurs in so many 1st world countries? …. So no ….. i'm not ok, we are not ok :(

    and of course i'm also looking for a job right now as my contract ends soon, and there has been no indication from my employer re extending or any light at the end of the tunnel…..

    god bless everyone & may all those not ok…. be ok…

    ps: i saw an initiative similar : https://www.facebook.com/rackupinternational

  • -2

    NOT OK, these gays n lesbos enthusiasts keep pestering me to vote yes for them. Wasting my hard earned tax money for useless survey.

  • I'm not ok. Crying. Suffering. Jobless. Partner leaving me.

    • Bro (or sis),

      Honestly, it gets better. I've been through all of those things too and came out the other end a better person. Please stick around. Obviously I don't know you personally but I feel for you. Just keep in mind that this is all temporary. You'll get another job. You'll meet someone new. And you'll stop crying and suffering and start smiling again.

      If you're in Canberra I'd be happy to take you out for a beer.

      Cheers, Phil (wedge)

  • +1

    Reading this thread really put my problems in perspective.
    I certainly don't live a picture perfect life, but after reading some of the comments on here I am on the whole happy with myself and my life.

    Funny how we always compare ourselves to other people thinking they have 'easy' lives without knowing there's is exactly harder than ours..

    I guess I'll be okay once I find out who I am, what I'm doing and who I've got. Until then, I'll just suffer in silence because I know from experience the more people you bring into your life the more disappointment happens.

    • +1

      Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

  • No

  • +3

    .
    Hi There

    Thanks for being part of our community!
    .

    Today, someone you know…a friend, a colleague or even a good mate;

    Always with a smile and seemingly on top of things may be suffering and torn up inside.

    You sense it but you don't want to pry.

    Take one minute to really ask if they are doing ok or if they need to talk.

    Your gentle prompting may elicit a frank "I'm not doing so good…."

    .
    Offer a listening ear without judgement or criticism.

    Take time to encourage your friend, spouse, partner or colleague.

    Do what you can for them within your means…a kind word, a cup of coffee or a get well card.

    Would do wonders for the well-being of your mate or family member.

    .
    Wishing one and all a Better Life, a Simpler Life and Good Prospects.

    Your Fellow Ozbargainer

    .

    • +1

      Nicely said.

  • +2

    I'd like to say I really enjoy the Ozbargainer community. Despite the usually overplayed meme/insider jokes to every forum post, there is a really genuine and insightful amount of posting on here.

    Personally had a period of low mood days but found it hard to pinpoint exactly what it was about. Thinking back, whilst it didn't seem like much at the time, I'd say it was to do with an argument/conversation with a friend a few weeks earlier. Whilst we still talk, I definitely feel the distance a lot more. It irks me because it follows a pattern of them leaning on me when they're down, but when they're up (like now) they're standoffish and condescending. It makes me question whether they're a toxic person.

    Anyway I think my mood has stabilized, and I'm back to generally thinking about my long term goals.

  • For some being OK is not enough.

  • +2

    As someone who has gone through suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, social anxiety for over half a decade..id like to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep searching for the light and you will find it. There's an answer out there that you need, and you WILL find it. Patience is a virtue.

    • +1

      Sorry that you've had it so tough Freshiw.
      Well said Freshie.
      Hope everything is going good for you now, hug :)

    • Still going thru life with them now for over 9 yrs. My patience is running out, and it is only a matter of time. Happy you have found your way thou. Oh, yes I am talking with the quacks, but truthfully, it is all speak what they want to hear. But as many have said… I am still here………

  • +2

    I think it's a joke. You say somethings wrong and people say 'oh you can always talk to me'.. and then they all pretend that you're magically ok because that makes everything better.

    People don't care.

  • -1

    Government should make suicide illegal.

    • What is your rationale for that view?

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