Help Me Find a Birthday Present for Someone Who Regularly Travels to Developing Countries

07/03/2015 : Thank you everyone for your suggestions and comments. Much appreciated:)

So here's what we are getting my mother:

  1. A bird of happiness necklace. Gran likes it and I think I know why.Some birds are not meant to be caged. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure. My mother is the bird that flew away and left us behind…at least thats how my four-year self felt when she left me at Gran and Gramp's and walked away. I've moved on since then but I don't think that Gran has. It must be so hard to lose your only child , much harder than losing a mother.

  2. My wife and I have chosen this necklace. I like it because it reminds me of how my life is now: bright, vibrant, full of colours,happiness and kookiness. I wanted to share some of that with her.
    My wife described the circles in the necklace as "weird, mismatched but meant to be together just like us" :)

  3. The twins are making her a card : a "mixed medium collage" Not too sure what that means but they've inherited my mother's artistic sensibilities, so it should look good.

  4. we've decided against getting her a travel voucher. She's doing quite well for herself in the art world. I doubt money is a problem for her.So we're going to donate the money to a charity/charities of her choice instead.

That's my mother's birthday gifts sorted. So why am I still going through the suggestions and trying to find where I can buy them from? o.O These things could sure come in handy if there ever was a zombie apocalypse… hmmm

As for those of you who suggested I get sex toys, sexy lingerie or pay someone to have sex with my mother…etc my mother issues pale in comparison to yours. So my biggest thanks goes to you, guys. You made me feel well-adjusted, sane and almost boring :b


The giftee
I don't really know her that well. She lives overseas. She is an artist and a social activist.She is often illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. She wants to save the world.She also happens to be my mother.

The gift
Something that is not too small or too simple. Something that is thoughtful, artistic and activisty (?) and will help her survive in a third world country . Something that says "you suck big time but I still like you" :)

The budget
Something that doesn't cost the earth, although the mrs is happy to chip in. So we'll say $2000.

Edit: She's turning 55 in April.

Edit 2: She lives the US.Her partner (husband?) is a photojounalist and they travel a lot

TL;DR : I'm looking for a birthday present for my mother. We're not close. She sucked big time as a mother. She is a passionate social activist who often travels to third world countries.

Comments

  • +1

    An iPad? My dad was complaining about his eye sight becoming worse. He wanted something he could use to surf the net.
    I've got him a Galaxy Tab S and he was very happy about it.

    I guess with iPad, you can even get engravings and stuff?

    • Thanks AznMitch but she already has one.

      • Then I am out of ideas. For now.

        Other than a trip to somewhere, I cannot think of anything decent.

        Good luck JJB. If something pops up in my head, I will surely come back. :)

    • i find that older people struggle to use todays tech.

  • +20

    $2000? we should be friends

    • Relatives, you mean?

    • The gift will be on behalf of the mrs, our kids , Gran and me. Ok that's still a lot of money.

  • +3

    I bought my mom a high loft polyster quilt. Was thinking of getting a woollen one but she's sensitive to smells, so a nasty polyester one it was.

    So maybe for your activist mom… maybe something that's made here in Australia and didn't involve cheap chinese labour? Woolen jumper, or scarf or quilt or something. (note this wouldn't work if she's living anywhere near the equator).

    • +1

      I second this. Got my mom a woollen quilt for winters to tell her she's always welcome here (she lives overseas). And a quilt/woollen stuff can always be 'artistic'. But yup definitely depends on where she lives though.

      Gave her a hardcover photobook one year with photos of us growing up with her too. Nowhere near a 2k budget but it will take 2k worth of your time and effort to do it! Lol

      Or organise a small fundraising party for whatever cause she is with. She will be at the centre of attention (she is self centred you said), she gets to promote her cause, someone/something else gets to benefit too (whatever she is helping). Rent a small hall or use someone's house, sell tickets online to curtail the number of people who will turn up, online donations welconed too (pozible page?), invite her closest friends to do up the place, get one to help you organise stuff you can't do over here, small newspaper advert with her face LOL.

      Or maybe something relevant to where she is now, to show you are aware of her living situation although you are away from her?

      • +1

        My relationship with my mother is complicated. I've only met her a couple of times. I was raised by my grandparents. I have 2 photos of the two of us together.I've spoken to her partner twice : when my kids were born and when my grandpa passed away. He sounds like he's nice. Don't know any of her friends.

        • +3

          Then ask her partner if he has any ideas?

  • +6

    For $2000 fly her to Australia to spend time with you and your children???? I read what you said about her…but surely she'll want to spend time with her grandchildren?

    • +2

      She's basically a stranger ..with whom I happen to share 50% of my DNA .This is not going to be like in the movies. If she does come, its going to be awkward…what are we going to talk about?

      Gran has dementia. I doubt that she'll remember her. So its going to be 3 generation of our family who are going to be sitting there at the dinner table, staring blankly at each other and having nothing to say.

      • +5

        This makes me sad :(

        • +16

          @robbyjones: I have a great relationship with my father…and I have many strong, amazing, wonderful women in my life. Any more and I might have been tempted to grow a vagina ;)

        • @Jar Jar Binks:

          u wot m8?
          nipple piercing not enough? ;)

        • @rodinthink: .. but the piercing was for medical reasons. Really, it was :b

      • +1

        Why the expensive gift if you're not close? Just curious

        • Trying to buy her love? Letting her know that even if she doesn't give a damn about us, we care about her? I don't know
          :(

        • @Jar Jar Binks:
          Have you "called" your mum out on it? Does she know how you feel?

        • +2

          @Jar Jar Binks: Maybe write her a handwritten letter? Say what you need or want to say, as you've just done.. perhaps? If you haven't done it before that is. Is that something you've ever considered doing, or think might be good/helpful to do for yourself (and maybe your family, and even for her)? Could that be of more value than anything material?

          Families can be complicated. I can't pretend to know what it would be like to have grown up in the same situation as you've done, and to have that kind of relationship with the parent who gave birth to you (though I can sort of lol)… but I hope that whatever happens, that in the end, you have peace. If only within yourself. Be kind to yourself too JJB :)

        • +4

          @amelyn:

          Have you "called" your mum out on it?

          Having a child makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. She's not cutout to be a parent.She's always been very honest about that and I get it.

          I don't hold that against her .She didn't have to go through with the pregnancy.Yet she did and then she made sure that I would be raised by people who would take good care. My grandparents did more than that, they loved and cherished me.

          She doesn't owe me anything. I owe her everything and I am very conscious of that.

          However I do get angry at her when she lets down people I love. Gran often asks about her during her lucid periods. My kids want to get to know her. My wife admires her activism.

        • +2

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          "She doesn't owe me anything. I owe her everything and I am very conscious of that."

          That's an admirable line of thinking. Majority of people would probably think the opposite.

          Maybe a re-bookable vacation to Australia?

        • +4

          @waterlogged turnip:

          Maybe write her a handwritten letter? Say what you need or want to say, as you've just done.

          My handwriting isn't the best…easier to just send her the link to this thread ;)

          Like I said in my reply to amelyn:

          She doesn't owe me anything. I owe her everything and I am very conscious of that.

          I have more than any man could hope for: peace, love and good friends. Thanks amelyn, turnip and everyone else who have commented on this thread :)

        • +3

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          Having a child makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. She's not cutout to be a parent.She's always been very honest about that and I get it.

          Maybe don't treat her like a parent anymore? Maybe she would be more comfortable being a friend, so that's why she gets along with wiki? She's not a parent to wiki?

  • +8

    Say you made a donation in her name.

    Strange you would spend $2000 on someone you hardly know, don't seem to care much for and feel reluctant doing so.

    Do bayou do this every year? Does she get you gifts?

    Maybe do up a photo book (deal off here of course) showing your family and all your history.

      • +1

        lol

    • We usually make donations in each other's name for our birthdays. Last year was Kiva and UNICEF. This year was going to be different. The $2000 was originally for her to fly to Australia for a visit and to finally meet her grandkids. She seems reluctant to do this.

      • +11

        well tell her that her present is a $2000 trust in your kids names so they can visit her in the future if they want.

      • Why not put this money into a savings account for your children? Spending this much on someone who you don't care for is a waste in my opinion.

      • +1

        Are you sure she doesn't want to do this? Could there be feelings of guilt/fear/shame etc that might be making her feel reluctant but secretly wishing she could see her grandkids & mother & you & wife?

    • +1

      Say you made a donation in her name.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcqinGqHQCg

  • +1

    Tricky. If she's an artist in her 50s, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and assume she likes wearing jewellery? The non-'mainstream' type. More quirky. Colours, stones, etc. Yay/nay?

    Any idea what she wears or what her style is? I usually won't ever advise jewellery since it's such a superficial, rather pointless thing lol, but in this case it might fit - could be meaningful / a way to send a message of care to her via what piece you choose, plus she will hopefully wear it and remember you by it rather than it be some gift that gets forgotten or buried somewhere. Being 55 soon it's also kinda more what you'd give to a mum? You can also find ethically made jewellery (Oxfam is a minor example but nothing online is anywhere near $2k lol they do have more stuff in their stores though. The Wise Owl one is kinda cute / conveys obvious meaning if she needs something overt being self-centred as you described? lol - thinking for a nice middle aged mum - but again this is making assumptions about what your mum is like or would like).

    But that idea really does fit into the 'small and simple' category. Do you wanna drop $2k on one item or would you rather make a bit of a care-package of several things to that value?

    Could you look into buying her some actual art? Maybe a piece where the funds go directly towards people in need (where even the art is created by those 'in need' which ever way that may be, be it socially/politically etc themselves?). Ultimately a donation but she gets something material out of it too..

    This is a difficult one.

    • +1

      A Wacom Intuos and a copy of Adobe Illustrator… If she's computer literate.

      • Actually, slightly extending from this, I've heard rumours that new Samsung note tablets might allow users to connect them directly to the computer and use them like Wacom Intuos in a way. Though this is possible, the person who was talking about it was like, according to rumours Samsung's trying to push it, but Wacom apparently is going against the idea so they are not certain whether this will be implemented. Though I think number of times I've said rumours pretty much say that you shouldn't put any informative values to it. It's more of, it might happen.

    • Thanks Turnip :) I love the jewellery idea. Now which one to get? I don't really know her style. I remember her as feisty,vibrant and full of life. She has long, strawberry blonde hair, my blue-green eyes and a smattering of freckles on her nose :)

      I really like the mango tree one, the bird of happiness one and the contemporary circle one.

      • $2000 will get you a good (if not great) diamond ring. Get the halo setting with some classic diamond cut

      • +2

        An Australian opal necklace? They can cost upwards of your budget for a nice one… will remind her of her family back home.

    • Thanks turnip :) we've decided to go with your suggestion. I've updated the OP with the details of the gifts.

      • +2

        Beautiful choices and explanations behind them! <3 That Circles Necklace caught my eye immediately when I first browsed the page - instant mood lifter. Bird of Happiness is very elegant as well.

        But that card made by your twins would have to be the most precious of all :)

  • What sort of activist? Poverty, labour, environment, a bit of all the lefty causes, or is there something dear to her heart?

    • +1

      If you think good gifts are things the person would like, but probably wouldn't buy themselves, then how about some art?

      A framed poster (or better, a pair) by Ansel Adams from the 1960s promoting US National Park tourism?:
      http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Vintage-Poster-National-Par…
      These would tick the boxes for art, travel, photojournalism interests and would be a valuable gift that is likely to rise in price.
      Similar things apply for other vintage travel posters. Examples here:
      http://www.internationalposter.com/search-results.aspx?defau…

    • +3

      What sort of activist?

      Women issues in general…she's very passionate about eradicating FGM.

      Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

      • +3

        Because nothing makes us feel more right then when we believe we have some approval from something that's got to be always right.

  • +3

    Why not just some nice flowers? And photos of the grandkids?

    • +8

      Hi amelyn :)

      she's friend with wiki on facebook. She's never felt the need to 'like' or comment on any of our pics. Nor does she call on my or the twins' birthdays. She will however call on or around my wife's birthday.

      These two have a very odd relationship. They have a lot in common and they'd probably would have been the best of friends if it wasn't for me. My wife is loyal and very protective of me. She can also be devilishly evil, a very surprising trait in an otherwise perfect human being :)… which is why she always get flowers sent to my mother on my birthday and on mother's day to thank her for having had me and waxes lyrical on my wonderfulness. She makes sure that my mother knows that she's the one who is missing out by not being part of my life.

      • +2

        Your mum sounds a bit odd… But some people can be that way… And on the other hand, some people are more "private" on Facebook so maybe that's another reason for that behaviour. Liking something on fb, sometimes shows other people that you liked it… And maybe she doesn't want other people to ask questions and "mind her business".

        I wouldn't spend $2000 on a gift… Until she actually decides to visit, leave that offer open, otherwise I think the flowers will suffice.

      • +3

        Wow, you really are a lucky man. (Though from what I read, it works both ways)

        • +5

          Wow, you really are a lucky man.

          This

          For real dude, if even half the good stuff you say about your wife is true you should probably stop trawling this site - you've found your bargain :)

          Don't suppose she has a lonely, single, twin sister?

      • Maybe go to your wife for ideas, if they would have been best friends if it wasn't for you, surely your wife would know exactly what to get her.

        • go to your wife for ideas

          My wife and I have diametrically opposite views on love and relationships.

          My wife's view:

          Don't think that you have to try to convince (someone)to love you, to respect you, to commit to you . You are better than that; you deserve better than that (…)

          you are allowed to terminate a toxic relationship. You are allowed to walk away from someone who hurts you. You are allowed to be selfish, angry and unforgiving. You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself

          Here's the context in which she said it: linky

          I, on the other hand, thinks that love should not be a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market.It is not love. To love someone is not to ask anything in return ; real love is selfless.

          If my wife was in my shoes, she would have given my mother an ultimatum a long time ago: be a meaningful part of her life or be a stranger. However she respects my choice to maintain some sort of relationship with the woman who gave birth to me, no matter how strenuous it is. She also understands that I really want to find the right present for my mother because its more than just a birthday present. The present symbolises my feelings for her: my love/fondness for her, my admiration for her determination and her work, my loyalty to her , my willingness to let bygone be bygone..etc

          She gave me her credit card ( we have separate bank accounts) and carte blanche to buy whatever I want as a present. Its her tacit way of saying that she trust my judgement and that whatever makes me happy makes her happy :) The only advice she gave me was not to buy my mother a scarf because if she let me down again, my wife might be tempted to use that scarf to strangle 0.O

  • +18

    Don't buy her anything. Send her a card.. That is all.

    • +6

      Shame you can only plus a comment once. If I offered my parent a chance to finally reconcile and meet their grand kids and they turned it down for no reason in particular, I'd pay a kid off Craigslist to burn a bag of dog crap on their porch and put it on YouTube.

  • +5

    How 'bout an eReader, decent case and a heap of credit to the corresponding ebook site. Also a small solar/crank charging unit (assuming that she reads?).

    lots to read, very light-weight and can be re-charged even when there's no reliable power.

    • +1

      +1 for this idea. It's pretty simple, inexpensive but also useful.

    • +2

      thanks mad_llama :)

      • No prob - that's pretty much my go-to gift for back-packers. I've carted Lonely Planet guides/bricks halfway across the globe, would have killed for a tabelt/ereader back then…

  • +1

    painted Boomerang

  • +14

    $2K budget for someone you don’t even like?! I absolutely adore my Mum and even she only gets a hundred buck gift!

    If I was in your shoes, I’d buy your mother a decent Aussie-made travel bag ($250) and fill it with;
    - 3 x life straws ($100)
    - monogrammed cashmere travel set from Ralph Lauren ($400)
    - hand painted scarf ($100)
    - small piece of indigenous art ($300)
    - framed family photo ($50)
    - e-reader with books installed ($200)
    - a donation to charity (Equality Now do a lot of work with FGM) or for a school water pump or community well (Oxfam unwrapped) ($200)
    - bottle of Aussie wine ($50)
    - some hand-made jams/jellies/sauces from your area (try a local market) ($50)
    - Etsy gift card to buy jewelry ($200)

    Ship it over ($100) with a card that’s been hand-drawn by your kids (FREE!) and await her undying gratitude.

    • +1

      thanks :)

    • +4

      This is a pretty good list

    • +4

      will help her survive in a third world country . Something that says "you suck big time but I still like you"

       

      3 x life straws ($100)

      Brilliant!

  • +8
    • lol

  • You are an idiot to like such a person in the first place.

    Sorry I couldn't resist

  • +2

    How about a really fancy luggage set? Those fancy ones that are light and has life warranty.

  • Family dinner at Applebee's.

  • +3

    Or you could gift her an Opal brooch. Opal coz its an australian stone and is totally beautiful and brooches make classy gift. Here is a link, see if you find something interesting or you can explore other websites for similar items.

    http://www.klepners.com.au/brooches/

  • +1

    A water bottle with a filter? Tap water in 3rd World countries are dodgy as.
    Eg. Bobble or camelbak groove

    Cheap, useful, doesn't break the bank.

    • That won't get rid of the nasties in third world countries unfortunately.

      • I disagree . LifeStraw should be usable in third world countries.

  • +3

    Send her a framed photo of you and your family. If she really wanted to be a part of your life then she would have found a way.

  • +2

    No ideas sorry. But from someone with a mother who also sucked big time, kudos to you for putting so much thought into a gift for her.

  • +1

    I think charity is the best idea for someone hard to buy for who is an activist like her. But instead of donating in her name, maybe something like donating for a girls school:
    https://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com/gifts/girls-school/

    Or other big projects like that.

    With the rest of the money, you could get one other charitable item, or get ethical/fair trade gifts or decor from stores like:
    http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/

    Here's a list of food related charity gifts:
    http://teaspooncomm.com/teaspoonofspice/2011/12/24-gifts-tha…

    If there's anything left after that, flowers are always nice.

    If you really really don't want to give to charity this time, why don't you get her like a fancy kitchen item? Like a thermomix or something.

  • +2

    I know you said she wasn't a good mother but it sounds like she has an amazing life.
    I think a donation to her cause would be good. It's personal in a way that it shows you "understand" her cause and yet not too personal as she doesn't actually receive anything.

    • We've been doing the donation thing for the past 6 years for her birthday and Christmas. We wanted to do something different this time.

  • +1

    Sherpa 100 Solar Kit, so she can charge her laptop/tablet/phone/gps/camera anywhere in the world.

    ~$700

    http://www.goalzero.com/p/211/sherpa-100-solar-kit

    Also a portable water filter, because Giardia isn't fun.

    http://www.paddypallin.com.au/katadyn.html

  • I have no ideas to share after reading the above. Your mum sounds like an interesting character, do share what you end up getting her :)

  • +2
    • This is what I was going to suggest… A sat phone with some money put aside for calls.

  • a coles myer gift voucher

  • +1

    If she's passionate about women's issues, she may have already heard of Hamlin Fistula Ethiopia.

    $600 can get you a signed copy of Dr Catherine Hamlin's book, which could be pretty special to your mother, there's only 10 in the world! It also covers the cost of one standard fistula operation.

    They also have some pretty peculiar looking handmade jewellery and scarves for sale too!

  • Has she ever had an epic hens night?

    • +1

      You want me to throw my mother "an epic hen's night"? o.O I'm sure Freud would have a field day with that one.

  • +1

    What about something like this.

    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/biolite/biolite-basecam…

    You could buy her a bunch to give out.

  • +1

    Give me the 2K I'll give her the time of her life. One night with me and she'll be calling me superman in the morning

  • +1

    Fujifilm X100T $1300.

  • +3

    Your friend often travels to developing nations? (We don't really use the 'third world' label ever since the USSR broke apart). Does your friend have a full course of vaccinations and follow up shots? When I traveled to India the cost of a full set of shots was around $400. Hepatitis A was $100+ by itself, with a booster shot 12 months later at extra cost.

    It's the gift that could save a life.

    How about a set of Life Straws? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LifeStraw

  • I prefer jewellary

    "Gold"

  • +4

    You could always arrange that she get a "free tour" of the poop water factory that bill gates set up for the third world countries, it mixes up her interests and also subtly tells of a situation where you get a ticket to a poop factory for your birthday

  • +3

    Airline gift voucher. Implies that you want her to visit you but at the same time doesn't force her and she can use it to go to somewhere else, since she travels often.

  • +5

    Thinking a bit more about this, I reckon you are starting from a mistaken precept.
    Your offer to fly her to visit was very generous, but that doesn't have to, and in my opinion, shouldn't inform the amount you spend for a gift.
    Your relationship is unusual, which adds complications.
    But I think a very expensive gift (and $2k is way over the top unless you are secretly a Murdoch) will just cause more awkwardness.

    It sounds as though she is not struggling for money, and has very particular tastes - so you could easily end up spending significantly for a gift that was not particularly appreciated.
    So my suggestion becomes, buy her some nice opal earrings (or a brooch or ring, depending on what you think is suitable), they reflect Australia, nice examples can be had for reasonable cost, but aim for hundreds, not thousands.
    This is a nice gift, and leaves some money toward a visit or something else.

    • We ended up choosing ethically produced jewelries. They are cheap and she will not have to worry about losing them or getting mugged because of them.

  • -2

    What a joke, you want to spend lavishly on a dead beat mother. She is a horrible person and I'm sure many of those volunteers are exactly like her. Wonder what goes through her mind? Does she honestly feel great?

    If you have a kid you're accountable to a certain age which is 16, there after you can leave them to fend for themselves. The Piano example I read, what a deplorable example because this involves a human life…

    "You owe her everything", this is either a troll thread or you have issues. If she didn't want to have kids she had many options. Instead after you were born she copped out to 'help others'.

    Whens the last time a 'activist' saved the world? If she wants to create change get into politics or amass large amount of money to influence people.

    • +5

      The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

      • Forgive what?

        His mother doesn't even want to know him lol.

        There is no relationship. Period.

        • +3

          His mother doesn't even want to know him lol

          Valid point. ..but wouldn't it have been easier to have given me up for adoption to strangers rather than to get her parents to raise me? I was born overseas.My grandparents would have been none the wiser. Instead she chose to turn to her parents for help…parents who were strict, Irish Catholics.

          She was an unmarried mother and her child's father is a black man. I doubt that went down well with Gramps.Gran once told me that I was the first black person she has ever met in real life. My skin is the colour of instant coffee with a lot of milk added to it. Hardly what I would call black :)

          I should also add that my mother regularly sent money to my grandparents up until I turned 21. Not that they ever used the money.Neither did I . I chose instead to work 3 jobs to put myself through uni. But still its the thought that counts and well, the shares that were bought with that money are still in my name.

          She emailed a copy of her will to my wife recently and I'm set to inherit half of everything that she owes while her partner of 14(?) years is only getting about half of what I am getting.

          I don't know what to think.My mother is an enigma.

        • @Jar Jar Binks:
          She's not so bad after all… But yeah, would be nice if she could take the time to get to know you and your family better. Your life sounds so… Interesting, JJB… are you sure she's not like a secret agent, spy sort of person? 😜

        • +1

          Valid point. ..but wouldn't it have been easier to have given me up for adoption to strangers rather than to get her parents to raise me

          Undoubtedly easier ….. better? She obviously didn't think so. To have adopted you out may have seemed to her that she'd have been washing her hands of you. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, but it seems she obviously still chose to take responsibility in her way. I feel for you, because it seems you're eating away quietly at yourself over a relationship that only one of you is in. If you could get yourself to the point of not wanting her to act or feel like a mother, and simply accept her as a 'friend' with whom you have a common link I suspect you'd feel a whole lot more content within yourself. (Not that you asked for an opinion on that, or even most of the other points that have been raised in this thread, but it's just something that may be of benefit.)

          Is there a company you could buy a token number of shares in that would give voting rights on a matter that is close to her heart, perhaps?

          Or, she more than likely already owns an Ipad or other tablet, but you could get one of those, decent quality and light, with a nice cover (which you could, if you chose, personalise without making your mother feel uncomfortable,) and load onto it things you think that she would like ….. most books are available electronically these days; and if you opted to go with the previously mentioned idea of shares, you could park the shares certificate or whatever there also; and a few things that matter to you, without coming accross as needing or wanting an emotional response, if that makes sense? Something that simply says, this is me, what makes me happy, what makes me tick.

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