Reassignment, Favoritism, and Career Setbacks: A Personal Narrative

Hi Peeps, I wanted to know your thoughts on this.

During the 2016-2017 period, I was reassigned to a different team, resulting in a significant alteration of my duties and role (my pay stayed same, but role was less technical and more call centre type). This transition was distressing, I broke down in the meeting room when it was disclosed to me, as I had consistently demonstrated dedication to client needs, often working extended unpaid hours, and found the learning process fulfilling. Prior to this transition the particular manager started making the life a bit harder for me.

While my compensation remained unchanged, my career advancement opportunities were subsequently limited. Later on, I found out that the manager who moved me, brought in her then secretive BF into the role, promoted that BF in front of other managers, travelled on conference together on public money, did overtime together and stayed back, and sped up her partner's career significantly. While it took couple of years from my life to rebuild everything. Later on, she left the organisation, and they got married. She cut ties with everyone. A few years later her partner also left the organisation.

I am still very bitter over the experience, and that mistreatment fills my heart with hatred. I was disappointed that some high-up people in the organisation, took no action. Cut to 2024, I have left that organisation now. But I often wonder how different my life would have been, had I stayed in the technical role. Would this be a ground for bullying or some sort of punishment for the manager or my previous employer, who did this?

Edit: Does anyone know anything if this could be reported under corrupt conduct or anything of that sort ? Given that it was a university, which is publicly funded.

Mod: Personal information/doxing removed.

Comments

  • Pettiness is cowardly,
    There is an overwhelming sense of entitlement and blame in your narrative. I e. "I'm the victim, its and the fault of these people from 8-9 years ago"

    Life is full of failures, learning to pick yourself up, move on and remove reckless and toxic people from your life, is ultimately your own responsibility.

    When people crossed your boundaries 8-9 years ago, and you didn't or couldn't enforce your boundaries (e.g. get up and leave for something better for whatever reason), you became a victim of your own failure to stand up for yourself and protect your own dignity.

    Dwelling on the past, creating a resentful post on the internet, these will change little. Learn to accept responsibility for your own decisions (including doing nothing), forgive yourself for the past, move on and stand up for yourself better next time

    Ultimately we have to live with the cards we are dealt, complaining that the world isn't fair, is a bit of an "old man shouts at cloud" moment.

  • +1

    Why didn't you change jobs?

  • +2

    had similar experience with female boss, below things worked for me and i could see the complete transformation within 2 weeks.

    1) started greeting her every mrng with big smile
    2) started making conversation about topics outside work and was praising her all the time
    3) started speaking high about her in all meeting.

    hope this works for those who have horrible bosses.

    • I used to use this approach until I eventually struck a narcissistic boss.

      It won't work for the narcissists.

  • +3

    Loyalty is dead
    If you're a salary employee do the bare minimum that gets you the pay.
    Sure work to the best of your ability but your workplace will not be there if you fall down and have a breakdown.

    Always take a better option.
    Think about it like being in a relationship and the end goal is to constantly cheat on your partner for your personal benefit.

  • +3

    Work is work. It is not family or your life. Accept that these things will happen. There is a bigger budget for hiring people than keeping people. Look out for yourself. If anyone tells you of loyalty etc, it is bs.

  • +2

    What happened with you is something that has happened with mostly everyone at some point.
    Blaming is easy but no outcome
    May be you could have discussed this with an elder or experienced person and they would have told u the same.
    You can still go for technical role. Focus on that and you will forget this.

  • The best solution here is at least 2 years of regular psychology appointments for the OP.

    • It shouldn’t take that long with the right professional.

  • +1

    I think people should be more lenient to OP

    It's such a shitty feeling that is not easy to forget.
    It's a different story if OP is in a much better place or even better than those managers but that's probably not the case.
    Hence why OP still feeling bitter whenever reminded about it.

    @curious101 I was in similar position with you. I was backstabbed by my own team member who I mentored, made redundant by his lover who became my role's boss during restructure, and that team member was promoted to my position instead.
    It sucks and unfortunately I could not find a better job back then hence why the bitterness stayed for a while.

    One thing I tried hard to do is to forgive and forget.
    Yes forgive! This act to forgive is not for them but for you OP.
    You might think it does not make sense but when I decided to forgive and forget, my heart felt better and at peace. (I did this multiple times, reminded myself why I should just let it go)
    I don't know how it impacts you until now but give it a go. I really hope the best for you moving forward and stop looking back OP.

  • Dear OP

    I just wanted to say that I believe you. I have been In your situation and I feel the same and still harbour similar feelings about a former job and former staff members. I hate them, hated the situation but you have to remember that you matter and your health matters. Let them do this, but don't let it affect you! You have to move on. Good luck

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