Dealing with Brown Nose Colleague Who Acts Like a Supervisor

noideaa on 14/08/2024 - 22:34
Last edited 14/08/2024 - 23:05

Hi everyone, I want to know what would you do in your situation? It's a long rant but please hear me out.

To start with, we're small team managing in one of those site in a large company, its a good paying job for me which is my reason for staying. One of them is a brown nose colleague who acts like a supervisor and she's the reason for setting me back. She has a nasty attitude, constantly watching our move, reports every minuscule details to the supervisor and love pleasing him hard. I've always kept my head down but her behavior is distressing and a detriment to my productivity which is pissing me off.

On top of that, the supervisor and the brown noser spend all the time together while we're left out with little information and he loves shutting us down because he only wants us to work the way he wants to. He talks excessively and never goes straight to the point while making eye contact with the brown noser in front of us.

The manager that's never around us preaches about "equality" and "teamwork" but is completely useless and out of touch with reality on what is actually happening at the back.

The others in the team have the same problem and complain about it all the time. There were dramas in the past where one frustrated staff told her to back off after being told he's not working hard enough then she complained to the supervisor then drama ensued, the brown noser acted like a victim and cried after the staff put her to her place in front of the supervisor.

The other is currently applying for a job because he can't stand them and i've also had complaints from 3 others who were on probation before they left saying the same thing about those two.

What would you do in that situation? Would you suck it up or do something?

Education & Work

Comments

  • dylanando on 14/08/2024 - 22:45
    +53

    You have to go above the supervisor.
    Or spread some rumours that the supervisor is dating the brown noser and now there’s a conflict of interest.

    • El cheepo on 15/08/2024 - 00:14
      +15

      Plan A

      You have to go above the supervisor.

      Plan B

      Tell the brown noser directly that their behaviour is impacting you and others negatively, if possible have others on your team back you up and don’t overstep any reasonable boundaries when having that frank conversation. Eg: don’t call them a brown nosing slag - stick to professional language when describing the situation.

      Plan C

      spread some rumours that the supervisor is dating the brown noser and now there’s a conflict of interest.

      Plan D

      Find another job.
      Put your notice in.
      Then at your next team meeting, air all that dirty laundry out and tell em exactly what you think and where they can stick the job.
      I can’t begin to express how cathartic an experience that is (speaking from personal experience) 😂

      Who knows, a little outburst might inspire a mutiny haha.

      • djsweet on 15/08/2024 - 09:54
        +3

        Plan D is realistically the only one that will succeed. Unless your supervisor is just a bad egg amongst a good upper management crew. This would be unlikely though given the rest of the management haven't taken action yet.

        • El cheepo on 15/08/2024 - 09:57
          +4

          Plan C and D can also be done in unison.

          Or for the less dramatic of people, just follow the first part of plan D, find a new job and leave quietly.

        • Zapwap on 16/08/2024 - 22:11

          Plan D is not a plan as every workplace has such issues, if not now then some other time. You'd need to learn how to cut through such people.

      • nobro25 on 16/08/2024 - 11:42
        +1

        Plan E, become the (profanity) and usurp the brownnoser. You the saying…. Live long enough to become the villain.

    • HeWhoKnows on 15/08/2024 - 12:45
      +15

      They must act as a TEAM.
      Go to supervisor as a TEAM.
      Like a UNION works.

    • RTX9090Ti on 15/08/2024 - 22:54
      -1

      yeah the supervisor probably banging the brown noser, since you said they spend whole time together. is the brown noser pretty? you should probably bang her too.

    • whyisave on 16/08/2024 - 02:27
      +2

      Or spread some rumours

      Put up a notice in the change-room or toilet.

      Signed, Disgruntled.

      Capital 'D'.

      • yokel on 16/08/2024 - 07:37
        +3

        You are disgruntled?!?

    • Bunnyburger on 16/08/2024 - 13:36

      God I'd love office politix if knew how to do da Machiavelli

  • askbargain on 14/08/2024 - 22:55
    +18

    Company culture. Deal with it or move

    • kaleidoscope on 16/08/2024 - 13:17
      +2

      Erm no… Not without a fight if you're in the right.

  • cashless on 14/08/2024 - 23:05
    +3

    Sounds like a regular job to me.
    How much are you being paid? Is it enough to rise above the petty politics of the office?
    It sounds like you’re letting it drag you down.
    If it’s that unbearable, leave, but if you’re strong-willed & well paid, bear with it.
    In the end brown-noses end up where they belong

  • Jimothy Wongingtons on 14/08/2024 - 23:05
    +14

    Look for another job - sounds like the job is taking a toll on your mental health.

  • Stewardo on 14/08/2024 - 23:06
    +3

    Quit, it’s not worth it. Get off the hamster wheel.

    • Forfiet on 15/08/2024 - 02:57
      +1

      nah, just a medical condition called Hyperpigmentation…..

    • payless69 on 15/08/2024 - 06:48
      -4

      Issue is unheard of in Iran ?

      • pharkurnell on 15/08/2024 - 11:51

        the difference is that its dealt with quick and final….

    • iminabrons on 15/08/2024 - 13:34
      +4

      I always thought the term brown-nosing came about because the brown-noser got their nose brown by being firmly up in someone else's buttocks.

      • jv on 15/08/2024 - 13:48
        -4

        by being firmly up in someone else's buttocks.

        Think about it…

        Why would someone do that???

        • iminabrons on 15/08/2024 - 13:52
          +1

          This term originated in the military in the late 1930s, where it meant “to curry favor”; it alludes to ass-kissing when the backside being kissed is less than clean.

        • smartazz104 on 16/08/2024 - 12:33

          jv out here padding his post count as usual.

  • localhost on 14/08/2024 - 23:52

    Rule #1: Whatever communication have, make sure it's in writing.

  • try2bhelpful on 15/08/2024 - 01:00
    -1

    The thing to remember is we are only hearing one side of the equation.

    Get the “brown noser” and supervisor to present their arguments and then we can decide.

    If you feel you have a beef then start to document what is occurring. You won’t get anywhere with name calling and aggression.

    • worrierwan on 16/08/2024 - 09:06
      +2

      You sound like brown noser

      • try2bhelpful on 16/08/2024 - 23:03

        I sound like someone who was in the workforce for over 30 years and knows there are two sides to every story. I’m also the person getting out the popcorn to see how this will play out. Some of the suggestions here will get the OP fired.

  • AustriaBargain on 15/08/2024 - 01:14
    -3

    You should brownnose too. It's like a Chinese finger trap, the more you resist this situation the worse it'll get for you. Become a team player and stick your nose in there. Stop being your authentic self, it's wearing you ragged.

    • ozboygsl on 15/08/2024 - 15:43
      +1

      Wow. Your " morality" and "courage"really shine.

  • morse on 15/08/2024 - 04:13

    I’d probably just look for another job. Having an exit strategy might give you some hope that this won’t be forever so you can just ignore the behaviour. If that’s not a realistic plan for you, can you talk to the supervisors boss? It would probably help if everyone speaks up together. Make sure your examples are really clear cut that the behaviour is inappropriate if you plan to speak up.

  • Dollar General on 15/08/2024 - 06:05
    -3

    Just suck it up and make the effort to suck up to her

    • Zapwap on 16/08/2024 - 22:15

      That sucks!

  • Gotchas on 15/08/2024 - 06:28
    +3

    Maybe an anonymous email cc’ing everyone including managers with the above story

    • pharkurnell on 15/08/2024 - 11:49
      +4

      and do it from the Brown nosers computer

  • payless69 on 15/08/2024 - 06:36
    -2

    Western world issue, you are NOT alone.

  • 01001111 01000010 on 15/08/2024 - 07:20
    +1

    Raise your concerns with HR. If they’re no good then do sweet fa at work and see how they handle it.

    • OzzyOzbourne on 15/08/2024 - 23:56
      +12

      Don't forget HR work in the best interests of the company, not the employees

    • JIMB0 on 16/08/2024 - 08:11
      +3

      HR are scum. They pretend to be your friend then screw you. They'll only help you if it benifits the company, in this case by protecting them from possible legal action.

      • qwijibo on 17/08/2024 - 18:37
        +1

        Absolutely, HR at most companies are useless. I once had an issue with my supervisor … and HR told I shouldn't talk directly to them and to report the matter … to my supervisor.

  • kobeduck on 15/08/2024 - 08:07
    +13

    "the supervisor and the brown noser spend all the time together while we're left out with little information"

    that's a form of workplace bullying

  • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 15/08/2024 - 08:18
    +2

    These people seem to be at every company. If you're not an expert at workplace politics and standing up for yourself they will target you. I just tune out and keep to myself.

    The fact that you are being paid well will probably attract more of these "players" to your organisation.

  • TheMindsetTraveller on 15/08/2024 - 09:28
    +3

    There is always that one person in that team that is like this.

    I always ask myself two questions as a starting point- 1. Does the person do work? e.g. some people are great at their role and deliver results, while others talk a lot and deliver sweet nothing? and 2. Will the manager be open to hearing you out?

  • Cheaplikethebird on 15/08/2024 - 09:45
    +5

    While not as satisfying as revenge finding a new employer is going to be the best course of action. The chances that you as a lowly peon are going to be able to force the company culture to change is unlikely, you're just going to create more drama and stress for yourself for no benefit. Put the blinkers on and set yourself to cruise mode until you land your new job.

  • Caped Baldy on 15/08/2024 - 09:49

    So she's a psuedo supervisor and is not doing any work? as others have said, this is bullying behaviour. The whole team needs to talk to HR

  • djsweet on 15/08/2024 - 09:55
    +3

    Sounds like the perfect opportunity to look for a new job.

  • JIMB0 on 15/08/2024 - 10:11
    +1

    Get together with the other people who are annoyed by this, then work together. Set them up in some way that gets them in trouble with higher ups.

  • coffeeinmyveins on 15/08/2024 - 10:17
    +10

    love pleasing him hard

    I bet

    • KaTst3R on 15/08/2024 - 10:24
      +6

      Maybe she is really is making him hard.

  • playerzer2 on 15/08/2024 - 11:41
    -2

    1. Needs a Poll

    2. You've made 5 revisions to this post, but it is still full of broken English, and half-formed ideas. If this is how you do your work, it's no wonder your colleague-who-isn't-a-supervisor supervises you.
      Plan D above is your best bet. Find another job. Whether or not you want to fire off some sour grapes attacks on the way out is up to you, but bear in mind that this is exactly how they will come across.

  • pharkurnell on 15/08/2024 - 11:48
    +4

    You mean this isnt normal?

  • lew380 on 15/08/2024 - 12:44
    +5

    We had a similar situation, an upper manager just being a pain. One example, Pretending to have seen a rule somewhere, not being able to recall where he saw it, enforcing it and demanding that we have to prove that such a rule didn't exist (confessed to another sympathetic manager that it was a hilarious power move). He's made various inappropriate jokes, and been very difficult to get along with.

    The solution was a colleague collecting all the instances from everyone, documented it and writ it all up in a document and submitted it to HR. The manager is now very friendly, kind and helpful.

    Document it, collate accounts and get it above. If you get enough inputs from multiple people, brown noses and rude behaviour will get switched around and/or moved somewhere else. You can spread rumours and start and fight, but that might get messy quickly and get you in trouble.

    • MessyG on 17/08/2024 - 17:11

      This. This is the way.

  • ColtNoir on 15/08/2024 - 14:36
    +1

    Raise a complaint via HR.

    I’d recommend taking emotion and any reference to ‘brown nosing’ out of it.

    I’m assuming you’re in a larger company, so look up the discrimination onboarding unit and reference the ‘indirect discrimination’ this is for things like excluding you/others.

    At the same time I’d brush up your resume and start applying but don’t make any rash decisions until you find a better job.

    Also, having a paper trail with HR will assist should they try anything worse.

    You could also make a diary and note down all the dates, times and situations as you go. It might not feel like it, but diaries are often admissible as evidence should it go any further.

  • ozboygsl on 15/08/2024 - 15:41
    +8

    Start keeping a diary. Include not just the dates and times of the interactions bit how you were made to feel ( overlooked, disrespected humiliated etc). Also make notes of the number of times the brown noser and your manager spend time together. As hard as it might be, get your colleagues to do the same.
    Keep a note of the anxiety and poor sleep it may be causing, and your subsequent Dr.s visits. Make sure you tell the Dr. Clearly and unambiguously why your there.
    I could tell you a few more things but even though they are totaly legal, and knowing how some on this forum react, I'd probably get downvoted to onlivion. Sing out if you would like an email address to carry on this discussion.

    • whyisave on 16/08/2024 - 02:34
      +1

      ^ this.
      This is the smart, calculative way to do this…but this can be shown that the diary-keeping is the trait of someone vindictive,
      so you should be a good worker, if you are going to do this.

      get your colleagues to do the same.

      this advice is also good, but if you absolutely trust your colleagues,
      because the note-taking could also have your colleagues taking notes on you too.
      The colleagues could throw you under the bus, because when anyone gets squeezed….you'll get scapegoated because you'll be seen as the 1st person to start this.
      So, it's a CATCH-22 situation.

      • ozboygsl on 16/08/2024 - 09:16

        Point taken- maybe preface it by documenting that as a result of the stress you received advice form say, a union rep to do this?

  • Ghost47 on 15/08/2024 - 15:50
    +1

    I have nothing to add to this except that I fkn hate people like this. Working with other people can be such a PITA.

  • freefall101 on 15/08/2024 - 19:29

    Explains why they pay well, sounds awful and your options are to play the game and take the money or leave, really.

    If turnover on probationers is high the higher ups either know and don’t care or don’t care enough to know

  • whyisave on 16/08/2024 - 02:31
    +1

    If HR gets involved, make sure it's a group effort,
    ie. group needs to talk to HR and talk collectively.

    The HR path, is only if you want to stay in that company,
    but it's tricky how to navigate around HR,
    as HR sticks up for the manager usually,
    unless what has happened, can get the company into some Industrial Relations hot-water.

    Use the "whistleblower" service, if you have one…but still, that's if you can prove some business fraud, etc.

    Also, if you do decide to leave the job, you can use the exit interview to air your grievances.

    Just remember, when people leave jobs…they're usually leaving the manager…not the job.

  • serpserpserp on 16/08/2024 - 07:28
    +1

    Bikies is the only solution here

  • hoxyz on 16/08/2024 - 09:19

    Obviously, your supervisor and the brown nose have an affair 😉

  • freekay on 16/08/2024 - 09:40

    If this culture exists in your team, then it probably is supported company-wide (even if they say otherwise). Easiest option for your sanity is to jump ship and find a team culture that fits you.

    Otherwise, my next recommendation is to document everything. All your observations, times, dates, what was said. Any instructions/tasks/conversations with manager or brown-noser, ask to have it emailed to you (or if they don't want to email it to you, you email them the minutes of task and have them confirm). Once armed with this, make a report to HR. But remember this: HR's job is to protect the BUSINESS. HR's order of priority goes: Their own job > the company > execs > managers > the office pet fish > you. Therefore, unless your complaint endangers at least 1 level up from the person you're making the complaint about, it's going to fall on deaf ears. Which means you better have pretty damning evidence before going to HR. Then if HR can't resolve it (or you're not satisfied) you can escalate to FWA.

  • GuitarXXX on 16/08/2024 - 10:30
    +1

    Everyone in your team should make the complain. In most cases, 1 complain can be perceived as personal but when everyone does the same, that tells something is wrong with the individual complaint about.

    • ozboygsl on 18/08/2024 - 10:42

      It helps greatly to co-ordinate a bit and make sure your all raising the same issue.

  • CGradeCyclist on 16/08/2024 - 11:45

    I'm gonna assume you have regular one-on-one performance reviews with yoru actual supervisor (god I hope so), even if its only annually or every 6 months. If so, when the next one comes around, you need to give strong & pointed feedback around what's going on. Couch it not in personal terms, but in terms of how its affecting team morale and productivity, and how that ultimately it will affect his reputation/performance as a manager. Make it in their interest to do something about it.

    Best of luck! :-)

  • lonewolf on 16/08/2024 - 11:48

    We actually have this exact same issue in our team, and over time the guy has really gotten the manager over to his side. According to the manager (a new manager, used to be just a worker and then a team leader for a short period but due to restructure and getting along well with his manager, he got made into a manager as well) this guy calls him around 20 times a day for updates, new information, questions etc. So over time the guy has basically controlled the narrative and path that he wants the manager to take for the whole team. He also tries to under cut the team where whenever they need to contact the manager or speak to other management people on work queries etc, he will find out and go and speak on "their" behalf and hence create a narrative with the other managers like he is the team leader for our team.

  • May4th on 16/08/2024 - 12:08
    +1

    I'd tell the colleague to put any concerns about your performance in writing seeing she's not your line manager and performance management isn't in her role description so you can respond appropriately through the right channels. I'd plain ignore her if she doesn't want to do this

  • kaleidoscope on 16/08/2024 - 13:22

    Sorry man, it is what it is sadly. If I were you, I'd personally reach out to level above them and express the concerns affecting, yourself and colleagues with day-to-day work.
    They can have their fun times together for which I don't give a tiny rats arse about, but the moment it starts affecting my day and everyone else around me, I'm sorry that's too far and actions must be taken.

    Hope your next move works out well for you and the colleagues. If it doesn't at least you can get some peace knowing that you tried than giving up or jumping ship.

    Good luck!

  • jaimex2 on 16/08/2024 - 13:57

    Do you have a HR department? You need to get everyone to report the bullying from the brown noser and the inappropriate behaviour between the manager.

    If there is no HR then the only real option is to make your department have a catastrophic incident that can't be traced back to you.

    Ideally one your manager gets fired for or put under micro management himself.

    • GLO on 16/08/2024 - 18:59
      +4

      You cant trust the HR department, They exist only to protect the business owner.

      • jaimex2 on 17/08/2024 - 08:59
        +1

        Yeah.

        Peace was never an option.

      • hasher22 on 17/08/2024 - 14:47
        +1

        While you're right, technically you have to word it in a way that the co-worker is problematic and is affecting the company's revenue, culture, morale etc…. and if the team all signs, then it's a way to micro-manager or target that co-worker.

        Not enough to bitch to HR, cause as you said HR is only there to protect the business. Word in such a way that it's hurting the business.

    • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 17/08/2024 - 09:31
      +2

      Neverrrrrrr go to HR. HR protects the employer. If it's serious enough you report to the applicable Fair Work authority.

  • superuser on 16/08/2024 - 14:54

    Bikies?

  • MITM on 16/08/2024 - 15:16
    +1

    Time to start using up your sick pay and mental health days - remember, when you eventually leave (probably sooner than later) you can't cash in these entitlements.
    Pay $30 for a doctors certificate from the chemist for 5 days off. While you're off, guess who has to do your work.

    • Lucille Bluth on 16/08/2024 - 16:04

      when you eventually leave (probably sooner than later) you can't cash in these entitlements.

      In some industries you can transfer those entitlements to the new employer. e.g. university and TAFE sector. Including LSL.

    • Fysh on 17/08/2024 - 18:49

      Depending on your contract you can just go online for free and write a stat dec

  • Hangryuman on 16/08/2024 - 16:48
    +1

    if you can find a sympathetic person in higher management above the supervisor, they may fix it for you easily.

    otherwise, sociopaths are over-represented in management - they will happily tread on your head in seeking promotion, money and power

    I like the suggestion that brown nose is sucking up the brown stuff from your supervisor - if you have any workplace policies about staff relationships, go there - otherwise chances are higher management sees suckup and supervisor as high performers.

    as did CBA before those high-performers hit the news for fraudulently signing customers investments over to high-risk funds without the customers knowledge or consent, whereafter they tanked and pensioner retirees lost their life savings. Short term 'oh dear' - and last I looked CBA made another profit of what - $6 BILLION - last year ?

    so yeah, the most likely fix is get a job elsewhere.

    I had a supervisor who was dog to my cat - he loved to watch people jump to his loud noises - no female would stay more than 3 months before demanding a transfer out - I got a job somewhere else, and loved it - a total breath of relief !

  • Stphen on 16/08/2024 - 16:52

    Mirror their attitude and behavior. Small things at first, see what happens.

  • teaBagger on 16/08/2024 - 17:03
    +2

    Laughing out loud - at the nubs.
    Do not go to their or your Supervisor.
    In life and the workplace - Snitches get stitches.
    Has their ever been a whistleblower that has not been punished?
    This is because you are making life more difficult for your line Supervisors and above.
    Do what I have done when in this situation as a 2 year vs a 20 year brown nose.
    Only treat them pleasantly, but feed them misinformation.
    Then when they use the misinformation to get advantage, bam - call them out then.
    I managed to get the 20 year oxygen thief the sack as I asked my Supervision - what do they do and he didnt know…

    • Fysh on 17/08/2024 - 18:48

      Exactly my thoughts is supervisor is grooming this person as a leader and they're power hungry and being an asshat. Let other people complain and stay away becauase if they end up being a new boss youre screwed

  • Succulent on 16/08/2024 - 20:58

    I have never heard the slang brown nose before. I thought the person literally has a brown (skin colour) nose, until i start to google what does brown nose means ..

    • fredk1000 on 16/08/2024 - 22:58

      I have not heard it used for many many (decades) years and almost forgot it's meaning, took me a second or two from archived memories. Op must be old.

  • hopper on 17/08/2024 - 05:14

    Take her on a date.

  • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 17/08/2024 - 09:32
    +2

    Start looking for another job.
    Do the bare minimum.
    If they escalate, personal leave.

    You're not going to change both of them AND culture. Near impossible task.

  • drprox on 17/08/2024 - 13:23

    I only got this far: '…love pleasing him hard. I've always kept my head down…"

  • screensaver on 17/08/2024 - 15:35

    Say to the superviser I am going to have to take the day off tomorrow to see the doctor because workplace bullying is affecting my mental health. Or does the company have counselling services available on how to deal with this?

  • qwijibo on 17/08/2024 - 17:55
    +3

    "Go where you're treated best" is always the best strategy.

    I've worked with these toxic kinds of people before who Can't Understand Normal Thinking.

    It's just not worth trying to fight it. Find another job that has better people.

  • Fysh on 17/08/2024 - 18:46
    +1

    You need to be careful it sounds like a situation where the person may be getting groomed to take your bosses position and there is a possibility they have been asked to act in leadership way.

    If that is the case your actual boss should be communicating better but this whole scenario smells of bad communication.

    Your best bet is to log everything. Your complaints are not going to work for you let other people do that and stay out of the way. Do your hours and go home.

    If you push hard and end up with this person as your boss czn you imagine the stress.

  • Nucleus Acumbens on 26/08/2024 - 18:45
    +1

    Pee in their pot plants.

    Put superglue on their chairs.

    Put salt in sugar shaker.

    Don't get caught.

  • Protractor on 22/09/2024 - 22:53
    +1

    Country of origin of brown noser please.

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