How Old Is Too Old to Be Living at Home

Mintee on 01/05/2024 - 08:48
Last edited 01/05/2024 - 10:02 by 1 other user

Hey everyone, I've been pondering a topic that's been on my mind lately and I thought I'd bring it up for discussion: How old is too old to be living at home with your parents?

Honestly, I'm currently 31, and would not be in the financial position I am today, without the ability to be at home, but reflecting on my twenties now, I feel it's really been wasted, I feel that I have not had the opportunity to grow, learn and develop and really have sacrificed relationships (friends) along the way, as I don't really want to bring anyone over to hang out given the hovering and presence of my parents. I choose to go to work more then I'm at home, just to avoid the situation at home, and then when I'm at home don't like to go out given then overwhelming questioning.

I've tried many many various techniques to try and change the situation from, being upfront and honest about how I feel, where I'm going etc to lying (which I've been caught out which was another disaster); to somewhere in the middle. I've attempted to do my own thing also, only met with comments and control.

On one hand, living at home has offered a sense of security and financial stability, especially in today's uncertain economic climate. But, then there's the question of mental health. While living at home might initially alleviate stress and anxiety, it contributed to feelings of stagnation and lack of purpose.

It seems like there's no definitive answer to this question, as cultural norms, economic factors, and individual circumstances all play a role.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Home & Garden

Comments

  • JIMB0 on 01/05/2024 - 08:51
    +98

    If you're still there at 50 you may as well stay and look after your parents in their old age. Then take over the place when they go.

    • CodeXD on 02/05/2024 - 09:03
      +59

      At that stage you'll start telling people that your parents live with you

      • Kangal on 05/05/2024 - 00:49
        -1

        OPs playing for the long-term, I dig the hussle…

        • Mintee on 05/05/2024 - 17:02
          -1

          I feel ive played the long term and (profanity) myself over

          • Kangal on 06/05/2024 - 05:55
            -2

            @Mintee: Was a tongue in cheek, why the neg tho?

            So you say you (profanity) yourself. Yes, you have. And it is good to be truthful and recognise that. Sometimes we gotta take the L and swallow the crap-burger. But that may be the person who you were a year ago, it might not be indicative of the person you are now. And it certainly is not the person who you will be in the future.

            I think you should take some time to your self and reflect. Think and make a list of all the things you did not do (and did do) behaviour wise, that makes you angry at yourself and feel blue (sad/depressed). Understand that is a beautiful thing, because it means you are flawed, and flawed means you are human. There is grace in our shortcomings, and humility at every turn.

            Now list all the good things you have done for your family, your friends, and for yourself. Remember those small victories. And think about how you would be thrilled to have a best friend just like yourself who cares, who is thoughtful, and wants the best for you. And lament that you can find that person, be it same sex or opposite and intimate. That is your hope. Guard it. And when the clouds cover your inner horizons, come back to the hope, and the truth…. that everything will be all right.

            This is a powerful point to start your new journey, into the fantastic person you will become. Once you see the forest, now you can look at the trees. So the little details. What are the atomic habits you can have, what small tasks can you smash, those midterm goals you can achieve, and that I'mPossible dream you will walk towards. Others believe in you, it's time you take ownership and believe in yourself with us.

  • Porker on 01/05/2024 - 09:02
    +28

    Different cultures have different acceptances.

    Conceptually, is your living situation (for example) similar or no different to living with house mates? What if the situation were that its your parents living with you?

    Going off your example, I've also come across many 30 and 40 years olds that financially have nothing because they moved out of home early and were hit with financial burdens that they could only just manage and not get ahead of.

    EDIT: After re-reading your post, it sounds like perhaps the people you associate with outside of home are not right for you(?)

    • dbmitch on 02/05/2024 - 21:44
      +3

      Spot on about different cultures.

      As my culture (Lets just say, Asian) Big family units staying together is normal, build more rooms, or another house in the backyard etc.

      It's not for everyone, but my family lives in a way where we may all be technically together, but all have our own private spaces.

      I also think regardless of family or living alone, that housing prices are bullshit.

  • SnowDragon on 01/05/2024 - 09:04
    +17

    Really depends what the vibe is at your parents house. I was at home until 29 and my dad and I had our own spaces and only really interacted for dinner - we were more housemates if anything.

    Some people want their kids out as soon as they are 18, others want them to stay as long as possible.

    I'm glad I stayed as long as I did as it allowed me to afford a house and not have a massive mortgage, but at the same time I wish I had freedom a lot sooner.

    • mskeggs on 01/05/2024 - 09:28
      +12

      I'm not sure if I'd put it as bluntly, but I agree a lot of people who live at home into their 20s are less mature, and less able to handle things as an adult.

      • ForkSnorter on 01/05/2024 - 09:34
        +5

        It's never too late. Change is the best thing anyone can experience in my opinion. Any kind of change. The bigger the better. Move to another city. Move to another country. Travel overseas to an unusual destination. It could give Mintee a different perspective on their life and the place they live. Live in a few share houses, meet people from all different backgrounds and countries. Try a different job. It all pays off in the end.

      • thanatos350 on 02/05/2024 - 23:01
        +2

        I wonder if this is accurate or confined to a sample of people that you know. You may have a relatively functional social circle where those who remained home are comparatively less developed than other people that you know.

        It's mostly true for the late-leavers that I went to school with, but some of the early-leavers I've met since would have likely fared better at home, though a bunch effectively lived on their parents coin, despite not living on their couch.

        That said, it seems to be an issue of parents who enable slow growth and those who push for it but refuse to accept that their adult offspring are no longer children. I know a girl who had social and tech curfews, was not allowed to have her long term, good boi BF over, ever, and who has seemingly failed to develop the social skills necessary to establish platonic or social relationships since.

        I should note that I'm not necessarily commenting because I disagree with you, just sharing my thoughts. I left a little later than my peers (not as late as ol' mate OP), and while I benefitted in some ways, I can freely admit that I had to play catch up with regard to learning how to adult.

      • Baghern on 04/05/2024 - 10:52
        -1

        That depends though

        Is it because they're less mature thats why they're living at home

        Or

        They're living at home resulting in them being less mature…

        Or in most cases a combination of both

        You know what you generally don't hear though

        homeless, tough life… leading to…

        "i havent spoken to my parents in yearss"

        "my mum hasnt meet my kid"

    • DingoBilly on 01/05/2024 - 15:26
      +31

      Mmm I'd disagree. It's all about context and it's impossible to say what works best.

      I know plenty of people who found partners and lived together with their partners in their parents home until they saved up to buy their first house. Great for their finances, independence and they built up their career well as well. That's just part of certain cultures.

      I know plenty of people who've moved out and are less mature and less successful even at 40.

      Others used the savings living at home to travel and really broaden their experiences much more than anyone would just moving out of home.

      Ultimately there is no right age - just have to play it by the ear and get a bit lucky as well with certain things.

      • mooney on 02/05/2024 - 12:17
        +9

        Nah, I negged you and I left home at 17. Economic reality is that many people will need to live at home later than historically. To counter your anecdote about 'high achieving children' - I have seen plenty of kids leave home younger than 20 and struggle horrendously so maybe one size doesn't fit all.

        With the housing market as it is, my expectation is my two kids will live at home with me longer than I stayed home with my parents. I wont charge them rent, but I will insist upon them having a robust savings plan, so that when they are ready to launch they will have a deposit for some form of property.

          • mooney on 02/05/2024 - 13:00
            +7

            @Assburg: My neg mainly relates to the nonsense connection you have made to high calibre leader and still living with mum/ dad in their 20s. Correlation does not equal causation.

            A large amount of your negs I imagine come from people who take offense from you concluding leaving home is as simple as 'taking a risk'

            • Assburg on 02/05/2024 - 14:09
              -7

              @mooney: For most people they can always go back. Correlation does not equal causation… we know pretty well that adversity is the mechanism for developing high calibre individuals. Mum nagging you about doing the washing or dad asking you to move your car out of the driveway isn't really on the same level as "if I don't land a job in the next week or two, I'm going to get evicted."

              Other forms of adversity are usually unavoidable regardless of where you live, and are totally out of our control e.g. illness or tragic accident. While they help us grow up much quicker than we'd like to, they are genuinely horrible and not in the same league as having to deal with the shame of moving back home or asking for help.

              • mooney on 02/05/2024 - 19:46
                +4

                @Assburg: Got it. So being poor and leaving home at a young age is an advantage. Lucky me.

                Weird how statistically people fare significantly worse if they grow up in poverty. You’d think all that sweet sweet adversity would be the secret to great success. For all my future recruitment needs I’m only recruiting people living on the streets. They’re getting advanced high calibre leadership training.

                • Assburg on 02/05/2024 - 20:08
                  -6

                  @mooney: Well done for comparing homeless people to people who moved out of home… You've clearly proved me wrong by being a counter example.

                  It's overcoming the adversity that creates leaders, not wallowing in it.

                  • mooney on 02/05/2024 - 21:51
                    +2

                    @Assburg: Homeless people are wallowing in it? Ok.

          • Baghern on 04/05/2024 - 10:55
            -2

            @Assburg: And what happened to the ones that didn't make it… no longer with us, homeless

            You struggle to see the otherside, why its so hard to leave home early these days

            When I was a kid, I saw young adults planning to leave home at 18, live on the 'dole' in share houses and try and get jobs, it was feasible back then

    • whyisave on 02/05/2024 - 03:21
      +5

      I say, …I say,… I say Arthur…

  • AustriaBargain on 01/05/2024 - 10:13
    +24

    If you're Italian, then never. Parents will be looking for a bigger house to accomodate your wife and kids.

    • Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:18
      -1

      What if you dont plan on having a wife 🤔

      • GregRust on 04/05/2024 - 18:54
        -1

        Husband and kids then. It’s 2024.

        • Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:57
          -1

          Hold up let's take one step at time. I dont even get outside the house at this point

  • Bargainitis on 01/05/2024 - 10:17
    +2

    Also depends if you are a male or female - hate to bring gender / sex into the equation but I think its socially more acceptable for a female to live at home longer than a male. Some cultures actually expect that until the female has a permanent / long term partner / marriage.

    Horses for courses but you are right - moving out / being independent does add a lot to "growing up" and certainly helps with friendship circles, etc. However, have seen it work in both cases so its more your relationship with your parents that might drive your ultimate "shaping".

  • Brucet on 01/05/2024 - 10:23
    -2

    I expect my son or daughter live with me If they are good boy & girl.

    • beefmaster on 01/05/2024 - 21:29
      -1

      Expect a lot of argument when everyone is fighting to be top dog.

  • star-ggg on 01/05/2024 - 10:35
    +5

    I leveraged the stability of living with my parents during my 20s to travel a lot. I learned and matured a lot more learning how to navigate around foreign systems and culture than getting my own place and navigating the trivial chores of daily life.

  • soan papdi on 01/05/2024 - 10:38
    +1

    On one hand, living at home has offered a sense of security and financial stability, especially in today's uncertain economic climate. But, then there's the question of mental health. While living at home might initially alleviate stress and anxiety, it contributed to feelings of stagnation and lack of purpose.

    I recently read this article and it breaks down many habits we have that leave us in a rut. https://www.experimental-history.com/p/so-you-wanna-de-bog-y…

    Don't wait for a saviour to make you happier. You need to put in conscious effort to break out of the cycle. It's hard work and the longer you put it off, harder it gets. Start with baby steps. If you have a good friend, ask them to keep you accountable. You can do this!

  • JimB on 01/05/2024 - 10:39
    +13

    If you're asking this, and have the financial means to do so, move out now.

    If I had to guess, from your post, I would guess you own an investment property.

    If not, rent a place or buy a small place.

    I'm sure you would always be welcome back home if things go pear shaped.

    Until you move out, your parents will always see you as a kid.

    I'm happy for my young kids to stay at home as long as they want, especially as it would be difficult to save a deposit for a house if they are renting, but geez, I'd hope they be gone by mid to late 20's to gain some independence.

    • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 11:46
      +2

      but geez, I'd hope they be gone by mid to late 20's to gain some independence.

      100%

  • El cheepo on 01/05/2024 - 10:40
    +6

    There is no age limit.

    Just accepted cultural norms and your own feelings towards the situation.

    But going by your last post, i would suggest looking into moving out and trying a share house living situation or similar.

    Its a good way to broaden your horizons and meet new people.

  • Some Human on 01/05/2024 - 10:41
    +4

    The longer you stay there, the bigger the shock will be when you do move out.

  • freefall101 on 01/05/2024 - 10:56
    +8

    Depends on the specifics of your position. If you've saved enough to buy a house then you should look into doing that. Owning a home gives a lot of financial stability compared to renting, so long as you have a budget and stick to it. IMO that's the main reason to live at home a few extra years, get that deposit. Just do a really good budget first to make sure you can afford it and stick to it. You'll be switching from being able to afford niceties and feeling restricted in doing it to having the freedom to do whatever with financial restrictions stopping you instead.

    Just on a general vibe of your post, it sounds like it's time to get out and get the freedom you want. Just be nice to your parents about it and talk about it with them, don't burn that bridge. Hell, you might find they want rid of you and will help financially with the house buying.

  • pharkurnell on 01/05/2024 - 11:08
    +10

    Times change.. 80's 90's would be wildly different to today.

    With how expensive life is these days, you cant blame people for living with their olds… Many have no choice with rent and life being so expensive… people paying $700+ wk where it used to be 1/2 that

    YMMV

  • tsunamisurfer on 01/05/2024 - 11:17
    +7

    There is no too old to be home, especially in today's housing climate.

    But it also depends on many things like how well you live with family etc.

    Living at home until 30 was one of my more prudent decisions, it really allowed to to save much of my income to get onto the property ladder with a decent deposit.

  • cerealJay on 01/05/2024 - 11:43
    +5

    Pre-covid: 20

    Post-covid: 30

    • neonlight on 03/05/2024 - 19:55
      -1

      More like 40

  • Benoffie on 01/05/2024 - 11:46
    +3

    My cut off is undergraduate university so around 23.

    After that, there needs to be a cutting of apron strings.

    Thats at least 5+ years post high school of free/cheap rent and time to work and save.

  • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 11:52
    +23

    3 years ago you felt you were just moving through life… Honestly, maybe it's time to talk to a professional etc.

    If you were my kid and just working and hardly anything else, I'd be looking to kick you out of my house in your 20s. By 31, you can be rest assured I'd be on your back every day to get you out of the house. If you can look to buy $60,000 cars, you can get out of home. Hell, you should've been buying a home with that deposit money if you hadn't already, and if you had, why are you still at home and not living in it?

    • JimB on 01/05/2024 - 12:33
      -1

      How else you can afford a $60k car if you're renting or have a large mortgage? lol

      • El cheepo on 01/05/2024 - 13:39
        -1

        How else you can afford a $60k car if you're renting or have a large mortgage?

        Who doesn’t love adding a wee bit of debt to already large bills 😂

    • rando88 on 02/05/2024 - 09:11
      -1

      They talk about the financial position they are in today, but if they are not ready to buy a house and not just a bare minimum apartment I would like to question what position that really is given their lack of living.

  • bobbified on 01/05/2024 - 12:09
    +11

    For asians, parents traditionally expect their kids to stay home until they get married.

  • cashless on 01/05/2024 - 12:21
    +4

    Aged 31 and still have helicopter parents?
    Something wrong there.

  • cupcake on 01/05/2024 - 13:15
    +2

    Try and get out by 32…
    You need to be responsible for your life now and have some freedom and space without nagging questions.

  • LanceVance on 01/05/2024 - 13:16
    +5

    Sounds like you've eluded to a controlling environment. Therefore for your own growth, wellbeing and avoiding your relationship with your parents turning toxic you should probably move out.

    • cupcake on 01/05/2024 - 13:43
      -1

      OP should stop gaming and fighting with the parents… leading oneself to depression.

    • banana365 on 03/05/2024 - 17:28
      +1

      *alluded

      You're right. The fact that they feel they need to lie to parents about any aspect of their life shows that there are issues on one or both sides.

  • tonka on 01/05/2024 - 13:34
    +1

    Remember the alternatives you imagine would also have had their challenges. Moving out early usually requires a flatmate(s), and there is always drama, and trauma down that road at some point. Living at home has probably also provided some advantages travel etc. And you will often find you have a more interesting lifestyle because you don't have a nest so you get out and about more.

    • LanceVance on 01/05/2024 - 14:12
      +1

      Had a few shitty housemates in my sharing time, and great ones. You still have a lot of fun and grow immensely from learning to deal with other people.

      • tonka on 01/05/2024 - 17:17
        +2

        Yep, just pointing things are never as shiny as they may look from a distance.

  • trapper on 01/05/2024 - 13:42
    -3

    Honestly, I'm currently 31

    Yes 31 is far too old.

    but reflecting on my twenties now, I feel it's really been wasted, I feel that I have not had the opportunity to grow, learn and develop and really have sacrificed relationships (friends) along the way…

    Yes, move out asap. wtf are you doing honestly, you're only young once and you're missing out on all the fun.

  • Loot N Plunder on 01/05/2024 - 14:44
    +8

    At 31 aren't you embarrassed telling a partner to come back to your parents place for some loving.
    At 31 aren't you embarrassed telling friends to come over to your parents place for some socialising.

    If not now when do you see yourself as a mature grownup independent adult standing on your own two feet tackling life
    Don,t you want some sort of privacy away from mummy and daddy

    You only live once and there is no going back for a do over

    • parisienne on 01/05/2024 - 19:31
      -1

      That's exactly what I think….if you have to skirt around the question / feel anxious at what the reaction will be when you answer "where do you live ? ",then you subconsciously already know you should be out of the same bedroom you shared with your teddy bear.It may not be a deal breaker for your friends to know, but if you are wanting to have a serious, romantic relationship,then I can assure you that few women (if you are a guy.I don't know what the guys think if you are a woman,or if you are into guys) are going to be up for a 30 + year old ( UNLESS you have been doing some uni degree such as medicine or law that are very long term / expensive avenues of study) still living at home…it doesn't exactly scream "mature","financially adult" or "ready to start our own family".

    • dowhatuwant2 on 02/05/2024 - 11:43
      +2

      At 31 you'd think they'd be mature enough NOT to be embarrassed about it tbh. That's some immature teenage shit.

      • Loot N Plunder on 02/05/2024 - 14:23
        -4

        OHH yeah you meet someone and have some wild sex with your parents in the next room would your partner not be embarrassed at the table in the morning after going for it through out the night.

        I would not like to be in that situation
        A little privacy wouldn't go astray the next day and maybe a half naked romp around the house in the morning

        Come on its 2024 not 1945

        Actually i would probably steer clear of someone who at 31 still lives with mummy and daddy obviously you haven't been with a screamer who enjoys sex and isn't afraid of a little fantasy and foreplay let me guess your a missionary man and are afraid of rocking the bed posts all night

        • dowhatuwant2 on 02/05/2024 - 14:51
          -1

          I'm not a fan of the STD lifestyle in general tbh.

          • Loot N Plunder on 02/05/2024 - 18:01
            -2

            @dowhatuwant2: I'm not a fan of the STD lifestyle in general tbh.

            Neither am i haven't you ever heard of safe sex
            If its not on its not on

            Just like you don't believe "i am on the pill"

    • Mintee on 02/05/2024 - 15:51
      -1

      Ngl, I am very embarrassed by it, hence, 'sacrificed relationships (friends) along the way, as I don't really want to bring anyone'

      On the partner front, thats a whole other issue which can can tackled another day.

      • Loot N Plunder on 02/05/2024 - 18:09
        +1

        sacrificed relationships (friends) along the way

        If not now then when do you see yourself taking the plunge?
        If all else fails you can probably still go back to living with your parents but if you don't make a move life would have passed you by and nobody likes regrets hanging over their head.

        You never know you might actually like it but you wont know until you tried it.
        You might even start a family of your own if you find the right one

  • DingoBilly on 01/05/2024 - 15:32
    +4

    There's no right age at end of day and it depends on many factors like your background/culture, relationship with parents/others, ability to date, intelligence, financial skills and what you want to achieve in life.

    Nothing wrong with living with your parents your whole life if it makes sense to and works for everyone.

    Others here are a bit basic and maybe don't understand how different cultures work or that not everyone gets the opportunity to move out (e.g., may have mental health or physical health issues).

    You only live once, which goes both ways. Maybe it's better moving out and getting that independence, or maybe it's just pissing away money needlessly without making much difference to your day to day. Only you decide what to do with your time at end of day.

    • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 15:40
      +1

      Only you decide what to do with your time at end of day.

      And the parents… it's not just about OP/children, what matters to their parents should actually matter more

      • DingoBilly on 01/05/2024 - 16:02
        -1

        They're all adults, but assuming parents own the property then yes, they should have the most call on what happens.

        But I did say it's quite dependent on relationship with parents. I mean if your parents are abusive pieces of shit then even if they want you to live with them it's not a great idea.

  • jolee3 on 01/05/2024 - 17:20
    +7

    I lived with my parents until I got married at 32, as is common in Asian cultures. There were downsides of course, but overall it gave me a chance to travel in my 20s, and put me in a steady financial position when I did move out.

    It's not for everyone but I don't think it's "wrong" if you're happy…however it does sound a bit like you're not so perhaps it might be time to assess your options. It might be hard to have the conversation with your parents if they're controlling - I did have a friend who only told her parents the day she actually moved.

  • Ghost47 on 01/05/2024 - 19:00
    -1

    Have you lived out of home at all OP? I would suggest you consider it, it's an experience everyone should have before they settle down IMO because learning self-sufficience is extremely important if you want to eventually get married and have kids. If you can't take care of yourself it would be crazy to expect you can take care of a partner and kid(s). I mean, you would probably be able to do it but it'd be harder to learn as you go compared to having the experience under your belt. If you haven't yet you need to learn to cook, do all the chores required to maintain a home, be on top of your job etc. and moving out will throw you into that deep end and is a good learning experience. Rents are expensive but you can do all that stuff in a sharehouse anyway, it just might be harder due to conflicting schedules and grotty housemates but you'll save money on rent.

    I wouldn't say it's too late for you, 31 isn't a bad age to finally get out of home and learn to be independent. If you live out of home for two years you'll only be 33, that's still young.

  • Euphemistic on 01/05/2024 - 19:09
    +1

    Just do you. There are no rules.

    Hiwever, seems you're finding out there's compromises to any situation. More cash, less personal space.

  • beefmaster on 01/05/2024 - 21:31
    +1

    It change from living with parents to parents living with me.

  • DiscoJango on 01/05/2024 - 21:56
    -1

    Rent a share house with a friend/s, that way your living with someone you know and also get the social aspect, while keeping costs down.

  • snivy on 01/05/2024 - 22:05
    +2

    I feel it’s like your parents probably need to realise you’re 31 and can give you a bit of privacy and freedom for going out and such? Can you take 2 weeks off holiday with a mate and they don’t question you anything about it?

    As for how old, depends on the culture really. I know some people who pretty much live with their parents all their life apart for some uni years and they turned out just fine. I know a lot ended up taking care of their parents as well. Or someone who got married to ended up having their MIL moving in with them.

    Some people are really judgmental here but everyone’s circumstance is different.

    As long as you know you how “adulting” works I guess. I hope you’re taking care of your own bills, and such.

    • Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:21

      Yeah. I don't know how blunt i can be… I dont know much much i can beat around the bush… I don't have any friends

  • CuteWittleCorgi on 01/05/2024 - 22:12

    The government wants you to live at home for as long as possible while you still can. See MyAgedCare.gov.au. Oh wait….

  • SpicyStew on 01/05/2024 - 22:18

    you get one life

  • FlyingMiffy on 01/05/2024 - 22:37
    -3

    By the time you are in a full time job, you should be moving out of your parent's house.

  • Cletus vandamme on 01/05/2024 - 23:12

    Realistically at 31 you should of saved enough to buy your own home. Personally I'm doing the same for my kids I want them to have enough money until they can buy their own place. No rent no bills it's the only way it's possible these days. Kids need to be taught very early to be financial responsible. There should be no freeloading without a definitive plan in place as to what they hope to achieve.

  • prinsenhof on 01/05/2024 - 23:17

    The correct answer is as soon as you leave school and get your first full time job.

    Can't put a price on freedom. Although I don't walk around the house completely naked, I could if I wanted to. Thats what freedom is.

    • Poor Ass on 01/05/2024 - 23:22

      A nude beach?

      • prinsenhof on 01/05/2024 - 23:56

        It about private nakedness, mum and dad are probably at the nude beach too.

  • Poor Ass on 01/05/2024 - 23:21

    Who remembers grouphug.us site? This reminds me of that

  • Miss B on 01/05/2024 - 23:39

    When living at home doesn't feel right for you and/or your parents and you can support yourself. For me that was 18. I hated living at home from about 12 onwards, so it was just finishing high school and getting a job where I could afford to live in a share house.

    It doesn't sound like living with your parents is working for you, so if you can support yourself it's probably time to move out.

    Edit: Just thought I would add that this is your life and you are getting older. What do you want from life? When I moved out of home my only goal was to live somewhere where I could feel safe and could relax. It was only once I had that I was able to start figuring out what more I wanted. Life shouldn't just be work, anxiety and avoiding your parents.

  • fairyflossgrapes on 02/05/2024 - 03:34

    When your parents tell you that you need to eff off and find a house yourself.

    Some folks will never do this. But if your folks do, you should believe them.

  • SpicyStew on 02/05/2024 - 03:39
    +1

    pay rent for freedom
    invest savings
    start a business
    plenty to do

  • whyisave on 02/05/2024 - 03:55

    It also depends on the layout of your parent's house,
    ie. can you live more 'isolated', eg. have your own living space, etc.

    Can there be a granny-flat situation,
    or you can fund the building of a granny-flat,
    and occupy that space, so that you can still be close to parents
    while you have some small independence and own garden.

    It's also better to be alone, than follow the 'wrong crowd'
    or spend time on people that ultimately are detrimental to your own development.
    Then again, it depends on your own support network,
    ie. do you have anyone outside of your own family,
    that you can count on for airport pick-ups ?
    Having helpful friends is better than friends that just want to share good times with you,
    but when times are not good, they just avoid you.

  • OneJay on 02/05/2024 - 05:38
    +1

    I feel 25, give or take, is a good age to leave the nest. By then you should have completed studies and had a couple of years working experience and savings to be able to support yourself independently.

    I left home at 24, and late 30s now. I sometimes think of how nice it would be if I moved back in with my elderly parents who are in their mid-70s, in a different country. I’ve seen them in-person maybe 15 times in 13 years.

  • bigbadboogieman on 02/05/2024 - 06:56

    Unfortunately there is no one right answer. In all situations you win and you lose at the same time.

    The 3 years I worked with my father, I got completely stagnated. While living with my parents, eventually I decided to work separately from my father (mother helped me deal with the family dynamics at this point). I moved out at around 28 for an overseas employment and was struggling for roughly 2+ years in share apartments until I met my wife.

    After we moved in together and started pooling our finances, we managed to get into our home and have a reasonable (but frugal) lifestyle and a healthy fallback savings of 12 or so months. I got lucky to find a like-minded life-partner otherwise I would still be struggling. The thing though is that in all of the above, the focus was to stabilise ourselves, we ended up sacrificing other aspects without even realising, such as having children when we had the ability.

    We may be living in the most peaceful and prosperous era of humanity but it could still be better imho.

  • branners on 02/05/2024 - 07:05

    I am looking at this from the other side. My son just turned 30 and I would be fine if he still lived at home, though our house is designed so that 2 of the bedrooms are separate to the rest of the house. He and his GF would be able to save for a house and Mrs B and me would love to have them here. Swings and roundabouts, I guess

  • sweetchilli on 02/05/2024 - 07:20

    I honestly believe the limit is up to your dignity and financial position, ain’t no way am I bringing someone back to my folks place and having that awkward interaction in the morning. In saying that, I left my parents place when I was 22, I’m part of a cultural norm but both myself and my sister left when we could and my parents didn’t mind as long as we still visited them. I can still purchase what I want, travel multiple times a year with my partner but we’re just in a really good financial position.

  • Hugh G Rection on 02/05/2024 - 07:31
    -3

    when you finish high school and don't continue your education.

    if you are in uni, then you leave after you graduate from uni unless you go for your masters or doctorates.

    if you are a loser and drop out or don't even go to school, then you are out of the house after 18 when you become an adult.

  • No and then on 02/05/2024 - 07:46
    +4

    I'm 44 and still with my mum haha

    But it wasn't my choice. Whilst I was dating I had bought a house, but it was another 30 mins further away from city by train from my mum. When we got married, we lived in it for several months but wife wasn't happy with the commute. Her work dictated what time she could leave and it was always at peak hour. This was during an era when trains were always all stops. Wife wasn't so happy with the crowded trains, so we moved back in with mum. Mum's place is 15-20 min to city depending on amount of stops. We both work in the city. Dad had passed ages ago and I don't have siblings. So mum was quite lonely. She was excited to have us live there.

    Best thing living with mum has helped us grow our investment portfolio by quite a bit and allowed us to travel around the world. With at least 2 overseas trip per year. Wife is Thai and thai families are very close. On her side back in Thailand, her siblings all have the financial means to buy their own house. They're all married and have kids. But they all choose to live at home. Granted they do live in a big ass house on an acre property. So I guess culture plays a part too.

  • Sinnerator on 02/05/2024 - 08:20

    10 years ago = 25 yrs old
    now = 40 yrs old

  • tabitha731 on 02/05/2024 - 08:38

    Many people in their 30’s who still live at home tend to have less life skills or resilience than those who have moved out earlier. I know of a guy who is 39 still living at home, claims to still live at home, so his parents who aren’t that old, can be looked after. Same guy is emotionally stunted, and doesn’t seem to be able to know how to read an audience when he has the opportunity to talk to them.
    Having said that, many others who are still living at home, make an effort to be emotionally and mentally mature enough to not be babies who are nearing their 40’s and still living at home.

  • Red01 on 02/05/2024 - 08:51
    +1

    12

  • SlickMick on 02/05/2024 - 09:01

    We had friends who basically told thier kids it was time to leave once they started establishing thier own independant lives.
    I couldn't understand it - I would have given anything to have my daughter around a little longer.
    Cultures that keep families together are a huge step ahead IMO.

  • Handsoff on 02/05/2024 - 09:11

    The answer is different for everyone, based on their situation. Your questions won't be answered unless you try it for yourself - moving out will give you a new perspective on life and you can always move back if it doesn't work out.

    If you've been compelled enough to post this here (a bargain forum), it seems you know you are due to move out.

    What's the point in accumulating wealth while staying at home if it's not to afford you the opportunity to figure out your life?

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