Is This What Becoming a Neighbour Has Come to These Days?

We recently moved into a new home and neighbourhood almost 2 weeks ago now. We have a dead tree in our back yard that had a large branch fall off in a recent storm, further the whole garden just needed some care with another tree being way to close to the house. I hired a company to come to the property for 4 hours and remove the dead tree (since it still had potential to fall and hurt someone) as well as trim back the other tree. Other works included removing any dead plants throughout the backyard garden. This all happened with no issues, so I thought. Just for the next day to receive the below message, in handwritten form. She knocked on the door, yelled you have a note and left.

The note;
"To: the would be Neighbour Killers -
On Wednesday morning 2 arrogant, ignorant, moorons stoood on the Boundary fence line - the day windy - & started not one, but two chainsaws- sending toxic fumes of smoke rolling straight over the fence and into my unit"

You can read the rest of it in this link;
https://ibb.co/fNcr63D
https://ibb.co/pZLL0PV

She basically goes on to say she's recently gotten out of hospital and can't breathe (fair enough), and the community is full of senior citizens with medical problems (again fair enough).

She's quite angry in the note.. and has accused me of trying to kill her and the rest of the neighbours. She's said a copy of the note will be given to police in the case of her death.

I'm thinking don't worry, they will already have a copy.

Again my only crime is trying to make my backyard safe by removing a dead tree so my young can play there.

  1. Is this normal? Wouldn't it make sense to knock on the door and ask nicely, or better yet close your window for a maximum of 4 hours.
  2. I'm I missing something here? surely I'm allowed to do maintenance in my own backyard. It's not like it's being done at midnight.
  3. Do petrol chainsaws have that much smoke?
  4. What would be the appropriate actions to take from here onwards?

Surely none of the above constitute trying to murder someone? Is this what becoming a neighbour has come to these days?

Comments

  • +10

    Write a note back 'Eat shit'

  • +7

    Time to buy a drum kit

  • +2

    Kill them with kindness. Make them feel absolutely awful for what they wrote.

    Go to them and tell them that had they come talk to you as it was happening you would have worked with them to find a solution that benefited them. Make it seem like their fault for not giving you a chance to fix it.

    • This won't help as the woman is obviously a bit mental. She is unlikely to have any capacity for self-reflection.

  • +1

    Best of luck to the OP if he follows the advice of the crowd. Welcome to the neighbourhood.

  • -4

    You moved in and not went around to meet your new neighbours and to introduce yourself?
    Is This What Becoming a Neighbour Has Come to These Days?

  • +3

    Tell her to P off and mind her own business. Dog was vomiting all day?😅😅 What a joke. No they don't put off much fumes at all. As long as you're doing the work within the allowed hours, something like 8am - 8pm there's nothing they can do. And don't worry about cops, they won't give a rats, it's a civil matter. She may complain to council but they can't do much either.

    Edit:
    She obviously has a mental health disorder and I'm sure all the neighbours will know all about it.

  • +1

    It's been on my list of things to do, but i work weird hours so havent had the chance. Nonetheless im not even sure she's my direct neighbour.

  • +1

    Old grumpy people are the worst. One time I was cleaning my front garden in the early afternoon and put the music in my car. An old lady lives few doors down came complain. Sure I turned the music down. Yet she still stood outside my driveway and continue to complain cos she could still hear it, and threaten to report to police.
    Sure thing, I turned the music back on.

  • +1

    Maybe give your phone number next time, poor old fart could just die while writing another angry letter

  • +1

    Apologise if you want to be the bigger person (if you can stomach it), then ignore her forever. She's a d*ckhead.

  • Place a huge sign into your yard facing them units saying:

    Future Home to or NEW NATURISM Organisation.

    No clothes, ALL Vegan.

    Watch for for sale signs popping up!

  • I think everyone here is missing the point. Clearly the chainsaw is at fault, should've been electric.

  • +3

    Return the letter with a sticky note attached, with a mental health hotline number on it & include pamphlets for dementia help services.

  • +1

    When I read Mooron, my brain immediately pictured a cow named Ron. I think I need sleep.

  • Just mental illness, ignore it

  • Unless she's calling the bikies? Whats the problem, you've done nothing wrong. But get some security cameras.

  • +3

    Time to construct a pagoda in the backyard with a firepit & woodfired pizza oven installed ;-)

  • Omg what a deranged lunatic 😂😂
    PLEASE send this to ACA, they'd eat this up

  • +1

    Don't forget to use the body as fertiliser when you're done!

  • +1

    It's not a good idea to antagonize neighbors (even unintentionally), especially if they are retired or disabled and spend almost all of their time at home. Since they have lots of spare time and very little to do, they might put a lot of effort into making your life miserable. My uncle lived in a gated community and one householder (retired of course) spent the entire day 'policing' the community. Personally, I think in some cases (for people who cannot entertain themselves without making others miserable), there should be compulsory euthanasia.

    I would suggest an apology letter and a small gift like a box of Roses chocolates.

  • +2

    Its funny how old biddies seem to think they are the boss of other people..in fact its not just old biddies with too much time on their hands there seems to be a general push out there towards "im offended..change your mind" and "do what i want because you are bothering me"

    I would now be making extra loud noises and inviting all my kids friends over to do exactly what they asked them not to do

    Capitulate to these morons once and it will never stop.

  • -1

    I never understand these posts…

    She has apparently just had a (possibly extended) hospital stay, struggles to breathe (which I'm sure you can imagine is incredibly stressful) and is presumably struggling in general.

    While cutting down the trees was completely reasonable behaviour, and it wouldn't occur to me to inform neighbours in advance either, it's pretty clear that has caused her additional stress and discomfort.

    How hard is it to have a basic level of empathy? Just apologise, tell her that it was completely unintentional and now you know about her breathing issues you will try your best to avoid aggravating it. It doesn't give her a permanent free-pass to be snappy and rude to you of course, so if it continues then do whatever you want, but being a nurse I've seen plenty of people get overwhelmed by illness and uncharacteristically snap over seemingly trivial things.

    You say "is this what becoming a neighbour has come to these days", but I can just as easily turn that around on you.

    • +1

      You really think the chainsaws were spewing toxic plumes of smoke into the air? If she is so sensitive to the air quality she should have kept her windows closed.

      • +2

        Exactly my point. Whining about how being neighbourly isn't a thing any more while showing absolutely no empathy whatsoever to a person who is quite possibly going through a horrible time…

        Maybe they're lying, but how could you possibly know? The only "downside" to my suggestion is you waste two minutes of your time being nice to a person who doesn't deserve it - hardly an arduous task…

        Obviously there weren't "toxic plumes of smoke"… Perhaps it's because I'm a mild asthmatic, but the fumes from a chainsaw have absolutely made breathing slightly more difficult for me in the past. As I said, I've encountered many patients who have snapped and said stupid things like this when their health issues have overwhelmed them, not to mention those suffering from a variety of mental health issues. I hope you or your family never experience something like that if this is how you'd treat them. All I'm asking for is a short conversation with basic respect, not to become her personal carer. If that's too much for you to manage then Jesus Christ.

        • +4

          They are clearly lying, unless they were standing right next to the chainsaw peering through the fence for 4 hours. That is why so many are commenting without empathy. Someone who starts of with lies and exaggerations isn't going to be satiated with a conversation, you just reinforce to them that they have the right to dictate how you can live your life.

          Why shouldn't the neighbour be considerate and let someone clean up their yard with power tools without being a nuisance and inventing wild stories?

          • +2

            @greatlamp:

            Someone who starts of with lies and exaggerations isn't going to be satiated with a conversation, you just reinforce to them that they have the right to dictate how you can live your life.

            Bingo.

          • @greatlamp: I've explained this TWICE now. What exactly are you finding hard to understand?

            If you're going to bother to engage with the actual argument I'll happily answer any questions you have, you seem to have just flat-out ignored it. I notice this a lot on here - your response reads as if you glanced at my post just long enough to see that I'm on the "opposite side" without bothering to actually consider the argument itself.

            • @callum9999: I'm not trying to make a personal attack against you.

              I don't disagree with what you have said in general, I don't think it's appropriate in this situation because the neighbour isn't a reasonable person, they are lying. I understand you would rather people give the benefit of the doubt, and consider scenarios where angry neighbour has genuine concerns. I don't think there something in your argument I have missed, I just don't agree.

              • @greatlamp: "they are lying"
                U-huh

              • +1

                @greatlamp: I didn't say you were.

                If you feel confident enough to make those judgements based on one interaction then no, you do not "agree with me in general". My entire point is that serious health issues can cause major behavioural changes and so you cannot know the motivation behind this without looking into it further. If you advocate refusing to do so and instead make snap judgements then you do not agree with me at all.

                I'm not a perfect human, so if someone doesn't want to take the time to do that then I'm not going to berate them. If that's your attitude however, don't complain about how people aren't "neighbourly" enough any more.

    • From everything else in that fantasist letter, the 'hospital say' could well have been ten years ago for a gimp knee and the 'breathing issues' are possibly similarly imaginary or can be solved by closing windows.

      • Yes, its possible - even probable - but unless you go and talk to the old lady you'll never know. Give her a chance - just one.

        Put your ego aside, go over and give the classic non-apology apology - "I'm sorry you are upset" (ie actual meaning is "I'm not sorry for whatever you think I did, just sorry that you have such a thin skin"), and see if she is just someone going through a bad time who totally lost it on a really bad day, or someone suffering chronic oxygen deprivation (it happens to people with serious breathing or cardiac issues, and sometimes changes them into genuinely nasty turds).

        If the former, she can do a reset. If the latter, walk away and ignore her - she's unlikely to be in her home for too much longer anyway.

    • How hard is it to have a basic level of empathy? Just apologise

      What??? You should tell that to the neighbour first. Her behaviour is unacceptable.

      • I can't tell that to the neighbour because I have no idea who they are…

        This is like talking to a brick wall… I've already explained a common and plausible reason why the neighbour might be unaware that their "behaviour is unacceptable". I love learning new things - if you're better versed than me in the psychology involved when dealing with severe illness I'm all ears.

        • The reason ppl come here for advice is that everyone here is "perfect" themselves in their glass houses, and with pockets full of rocks .
          If the "note writer" had visited here with a thread about the chainsaw smoke noise etc, they'd all be barracking for her. Probably saying leave a nasty note.
          Timing is everything, it seems.But you're not going to see rivers of empathy on Ozb any time soon.

  • That's people for you these days. Some people just love to bitch and create issues out of nothing.

  • Haha what a (profanity) nutter.

  • You can't choose your neighbours. You got a nuffie!

  • So long as you had council approval or the trees you were removed were exempt, and the job was done during hours when council allows petrol chainsaws and the like to be used, then it's really none of the neighbors concern. Just ignore the letter and move on.

  • +1

    She she mention her grandson was Sergeant at Arms at the local bikie club?

  • I wonder if this person has the same views as The Tyre Extinguishers if they are complaining about a chainsaw.

    I hope you don't own a loud V8, if you do, start it at 6am every morning and let it idle for 15 mins just to annoy them even more.

  • +2

    I got noise complaints lodged and a letter from the EPA that I was "disturbing the right to quite enjoyment". had this a number of times for pressure cleaning the concrete, cutting trees and even once for running the whipper snipper. Not once did the neighbour ever complain directly to us. The last one I just phoned the EPA and told them for the next complaint could you just save us all some time and send them back the legal requirements and explain none of this is outside regulations of what is permitted, poor girl at EPA was understanding and said they will put a note in but they were required to forward the complaint.

    you can't solve stupid, some people seem to get off on being belligerent and difficult to others simply because they can.

    • you can't solve stupid, some people seem to get off on being belligerent and difficult to others simply because they can.

      Yes

    • Noise complaints only work if it's constant and continuous. Generally you can't do anything with a once off construction event. Unless it physically damages a part of you.

      • yup, try explaining that to our neighbour. They will claim till they are blue in the face you are wrong, I am wrong and the EPA is wrong.

        FYI, I think they know they are wrong by the way they word their complaints to ensure they get through. e.g. neighbour seems to be running commercial heavy machinary from their residental house making large amounts of noise (this was chainsaws for a single afternoon cleaning up a dead tree). Or neighbour is running noisy heavy machinary for days on end disturbing our peace (that was 3 days of pressure cleaning for 4 hours each day between midday and 4pm).

  • +5
    1. Is this normal? Wouldn't it make sense to knock on the door and ask nicely, or better yet close your window for a maximum of 4 hours.

    No not normal. She is clearly a nutter. Time to troll.

    1. I'm I missing something here? surely I'm allowed to do maintenance in my own backyard. It's not like it's being done at midnight.

    You are 100% in your right to do any work or play you want in your yard with only the caveat of loud noise being during reasonable hours. Time to perform all tasks outside to show dominance.

    1. Do petrol chainsaws have that much smoke?

    No not really. Especially if they are maintained well. Time to buy a smoker and start smoking meat all day every day near the boundary.

    1. What would be the appropriate actions to take from here onwards?

    A reasonable person would avoid aggravating the neighbour in future as they are obviously unhinged. But you are here with us deviants and therefore it is time to escalate the trolling. See suggestions above.

    • +1

      I like this response.

  • Tell her that her "hat is wack". She'll come back with more threatening letters.

  • +1

    Maybe go and talk to her (maybe take a cake???) and explain that you were having SAFETY maintenance completed to protect all the neighbours from falling limbs/trees. Apologise for all the noise and fumes. Also offer to help her out if she ever needs any assistance. Present yourself as a nice, caring, considerate person and not the murderer she thinks you are. Word will spread that you’re not a sh!thead.

  • I encountered 2 very entitled pricks living as my neighbors too. 1 is still living next door and I refuse to talk to them unless it's really really necessary. I think there are more good ones than pricks, but once bitten, twice shy. So now i'm not gonna be extending my hand unless they do first.

    • "I encountered 2 very entitled pricks living as my neighbors too "

      LOL
      I wonder what they think of YOU? A third one?

  • God don't tell me you moved to Applecross, aka retirement home central?

    • Nah, can't afford Applecross

  • Mental health issues. Just throw the letter in the bin and move on with life.

    But in reality I'd go apologize and say you'll let her know if you are going to use a chainsaw in the future.

    • +1

      What? So you tell others to do something but you do it differently?

  • Purchase this deal and run it for an hour every morning - the problem might solve itself if shes telling the truth.
    https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/798499

  • +1

    She's quite angry in the note.. and has accused me of trying to kill her and the rest of the neighbours. She's said a copy of the note will be given to police in the case of her death.

    Yeah every neighbourhood has one of these people.

    Worst thing you can do is engage with them because they will tear you down and destroy you emotionally.

    They have way more time than you to devote to petty things like this, and it's literally all they have in their life.

    Don't engage with them. She's probably either never called the police for anything in her life OR they know her very well and ignore her.

  • -6

    "I'm I missing something here? surely I'm allowed to do maintenance in my own backyard. It's not like it's being done at midnight."

    Yes, you are missing the part that OTHERS have rights too.

    Remember the old one: Your rights end where the rights of others start.

    Did your "maintenance" affected others? a RESOUNDING YES!!!!

    Communicating with your neighbors BEFORE affecting their rights/privacy (noise and smoke) could have save the situation.

    TALK TO EACH OTHER. CONSIDER EACH OTHER.

    • +5

      are you the old lady neighbour that left the note?

      • No, are you?

        • You are arguing with the sort of ppl who push pensioners out the way, to snatch dunny rolls out of their hands, so they can hoard them

          • @Protractor: Yes, you are 100% spot on.

            It is ME, MYSELF and MY rights only.
            Pathetic.

            So engrossed they are with their self entitlement they refuse to see the foundation of a civilized society: RESPECT for each other.

    • I didn't know informing the neighbours was a thing, because I'm a pretty easy going person who understands that people gotta do what they gotta do.

      • Well, COMMUNICATING with your neighbors will not stop doing what has to be done. It shows proper upbringing with good manners and caring instead.

        Like saying "excuse me" will not stop you passing next to a person.

        Respect is what defines a civilized society.

  • +5

    In my area of social work, I deal with these kind of people a lot.

    They are desperately unhappy people and their misery makes them angry to unreasonable levels, such as that displayed by your neighbour.

    Their complaints are unreasonable and they are told as much by the authorities. They are a pain in the arse to them too, so you won’t get any comeback unless you do something actually unreasonable or illegal, but you don’t sound like that kind of person.

    You have done nothing wrong.

    Unfortunately you’ve got an undesirable neighbour who will complain at the slightest thing, but at least she won’t be having parties into the early hours or breaking into your home.

    Here’s hoping she leaves you alone and chooses to wallow in her own misery instead.

    • -5

      Clearly you work in the wrong field.

      • …but in this reality.

        • -2

          Ppl who work with ppl in social welfare should not be making judgements (in this case repeatedly) about total strangers circumstances, based on one post anonymous on the the web.
          In fact if being judgemental is your thing, social service work aint for you. Period.

          "chooses to wallow in her own misery instead." Oh yes because "Amanda is right across what's behind the anger in the note

          • +2

            @Protractor: Have your own words

            You should also not be making judgements (in this case repeatedly) based on one post anonymous on the the web.

            • -1

              @MagicMushroom: Not a social worker claiming authority because of it

              • @Protractor: This is like an IT person saying that a problem is probably caused by a cable, or probably caused by a bad power supply or running out of RAM. Once you've got enough experience, you spot patterns and have a good (but not 100%) chance of guessing a cause. Or a mechanic saying that car X has probably developed symptom Y because it's an known common fault for the model.

                It'd trust a social worker's take on this way more than I would just about any other random poster's take. Amanda might not be correct, but she's more likely to be correct than most of us.

                • @rumblytangara: "Amanda might not be correct, but she's more likely to be correct than most of us."

                  So rough enough, good enough, when lobbing the first rock??

                  Social work is about support, lifting,helping not web based judgemental triage, to fit the narrative.
                  Amanda spots patterns alright. Because she's looking for them 1st and foremost.

                  This ' these kinds of people' (' they're all the same!") attitude as displayed is not even a discrete way of discrimination. Sound right for social work?

                  • +1

                    @Protractor: Maybe this is where our expectations differ. To me, it's random chatter on the internet, so I don't think that Amada really needs to fill the post with caveats, alternative diagnoses, or special exceptions. It's not like writing up a case file for a client or patient. There's nothing riding on this, it's a thread about one guy who had some yard work done and has a neighbour blew up with a crazy note left on his door.

                    I'll make similar broad-brush assumptions related to my field… one that comes to mind is "anyone who downloads terabytes of porn onto their corporate network is an idiot and shouldn't be surprised when their systems start crashing". This is an assumption borne out of… repeated experience. I'm sure there are exceptions to this, but I'm not going to bother making such nuanced distinctions on random internet threads.

                    • @rumblytangara: Her posts jump to the same judgemental assertions each time in and around the same issues. I stand by 'she can say what she wants here anonymously ID'd, but if she interfaces with real ppl in the social support systems she's a detriment to it', by way of an obvious prejudice. She doesn't WANT to know why a person behaves in a particular way that makes them react with anger,frustration etc. She just black & whites it.
                      You don't just rescue ppl you like

  • +1

    sounds like a yes to me :D.

    I have a similar story to share.

    I have a neighbour sharing about 20m of his boundary with me while I have roughly 1000m boundary. Everyday, their dogs bark at my children and me at least twice a day and that doesn't seem to bother us as we thought it is fair enough that dogs bark when we walk along their boundary to school. Their dogs keep barking at use for the entire time I live in our property which is roughly 2 years.

    Then what was the matter? My lovely neighbour got a guest visited them at their property and coincidentally my dogs got attracted for some reasons and barked over their colourbond fence from our block. Next day, they approached me and complained that my dogs scared their guess and the rest of the conversation pretty much meant that they don't want that happens again.

    So what? From that day, I've tried to keep my dogs from getting close to their fence and they never hear nor see my dogs again. But what? Everyday, his and his wife tried to stop their dogs barking at us at least twice a day and they kept doing so for a month or so then gave up. Despite their complaint about our dogs, I have never said a single word of complaint to them and we don't find their dogs bother us in anyway, we take it as fun and understand that dogs naturally bark if they sense something unusual. Due to their colorbond fence along with bush along their fence, their dogs could barely see us so their dogs keep barking at us is fair and natural.

    Almost half a year since their complaint, their dogs still bark at us non stop :D.

    God bless them

    • Humans, am I right?

      My neighbours yap yap dog sometimes barks at me when I'm in my own yard. A couple of times it even came all the way up my own driveway just to bark at me. I was just like, seriously dude?

    • Buy an air horn and every time their dogs bark at you for being in your own yard sound the air horn at them

      • I think their dogs make them hard enough so I don't need to do anything :D. Dogs suppose to bark naturally when they sense something off so I don't have to do anything with them and I have been fine with them anyway :D. My neighbors don't seem to feel comfortable after their complaint to me while their dogs keep barking at my family and me :D. They naturally makes more work for themselves because of their false judgement and I think these kind of people are too mean.

        Actually, their dogs broke into my property once at least and they contacted me to tell me about the incident and said sorry to me. I replied them that I have plenty of space for their dogs running and I didn't have any issues with the incident. But they insisted it wasn't right that their dogs broke into my property with many reasons and they ended with a sentence meant they were afraid their dogs would be killed by other dogs (supposed to be killed by my dogs lol). I told them their dogs and mine are friends and I could see them play and have fun with each others right in front of my eyes. FF, I ended up fixing the fence to stop their dogs breaking in again but I didn't have too as I have a huge block like 80x, at least, of my neighbors in size and I don't really care if their dogs will come into my property again as I believe my space would give their dogs more freedom and space to play and have fun.

  • Write a note back that says.

    'The weak should fear the strong'.

  • U have toxic neighbors. These old neighbors normally bully new incoming ones.

    • -3

      Sometimes long tenure These old neighbors (sic) normally bully new incoming ones.

  • lel, if she was able to walk over to your house to leave a note, she could of gone out to the shops to avoid the temporary noise and "fumes"

  • Be sure to keep the letter and anything else you are given and make notes in a diary of their objectionable behaviour, you may need this later.

    Write an apology letter stating you are sorry for not thinking of your neighbours and attach it to a store bought cake. I wouldn't buy an expensive cake as the neighbour may think you are trying to poison them and throw it out. I assume this neighbour suffers from extreme anxiety so this letter and cake should calm them down.

    Keeping your neighbours happy will benefit you.

    You could instead proofread the note and mark corrections with a red pen, squeeze the note between your cheeks then nail it to their door.

  • +2

    You've already given this more energy than it deserved.

    Is this normal? Yeah, some people are delicate. Not your problem, you did nothing wrong.

    I'm I missing something here? You haven't been around a nut before.

    Do petrol chainsaws have that much smoke? Nope. They blow less than a lawn mower.

    What would be the appropriate actions to take from here onwards? Bin the note and ignore the nutbag neighbour. At least now you know you don't need to make any effort with them.

    If they scream down your door again let them know you'll file a restraining order against them, they are intimidating and harassing you.

    • -1

      Do petrol chainsaws have that much smoke? Nope. They blow less than a lawn mower.
      Big call. Poorly tuned,cold, under choke,sitting for a while chainsaws can and often do smoke like crap at start up. It sounds like that's what happened in this case, and the smoke was significant enough, and close enough to an open window to impact.

  • What’s a mooron hahahahahaha

    Just tell them to stop mooing and start living

    After when you got lots of medical problems like they said, they gonna die pretty soon and quick lol

  • People like her need to be shot in the space to further science

    • +1

      There's an international treaty that prevents us from disposing of trash into space.

      • Like Musks convertible?

  • throw it out and tell them to stfu.

  • +1

    She writes the same way that Trump does. I'm guessing she's also a moron like him and his supporters.

    • There were great big fumes. It was great.

  • Karens be karens. move on ✌️

  • Meanwhile I’ve got a neighbour who plays music so loud it shakes my windows for days and days and police won’t help us. Their freedom to play music apparently. We were told to close all our windows and doors and move into a part of the house as far away as possible

    Your neighbour needs to be taught a lesson in MYOB

  • bin it, ignore and do not escalate.

    people like this love to threaten police/lawyers - they rarely follow through and if they do they get laughed out of the office so i wouldn't worry. just stay well away as you don't want to get into a fight with crazies who knows where you and your family lives.

  • +1

    I had a similar experience when I had pest controllers over. Neighbour told the workers off for commencing work without notifying everyone in the vicinity. Luckily he was appeased with apologies and the workers going around to notify everyone.

    My takeaway: Always notify neighbours prior to commencing any major works. It will at least avoid frictions (assuming reasonable neighbours).

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