Workplace Harrasment or Bullying Causing Severe Anxiety and Stress

niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 12:45
Last edited 08/09/2023 - 02:44

I work for a large telecom company and have been in several roles with the organisation for over 12 years. Recently I had an interchange in a role with higher responsibilities and salary for 7 months and had to come back in my home role as the person who I was replacing came back from his leave.

Upon return my Head of who is my direct manager and his manager who is a General Manager have been literally harassing me every single day which has caused me a lot stress anxiety to the extent that it is now affecting my personal life and mental health. I had been in the role for 4 years prior to going on interchange so I understand the roles, responsibilities and what is expected out of the role.

We catch up every week now to see what changes I need to make in my day-to-day performance to meet their expectations (Note I have been in the role 4 years and have never had any negative feedback or any issues). I am looking to make a complaint against both of them though the union and take sick leave at least for a couple of weeks. I am also looking for roles both internally and externally but haven't had much luck yet but there is lot of traction.

Does anyone know how long I can get paid sick leave? I have over 9 months worth of sick leave - I called HR and they informed me that I can take a maximum of 12 days in a calendar year - Are there any exceptions through the Fair Work Commission if someone is stressed and affecting their mental capacity to perform the role?

Has anyone been through similar situation and have gone through union and were they helpful ? If you have been through a similar situation would be great to know who assisted you and how were you able to come out of it. I don't really trust the internal HR process as I am aware that there were several complaints against the General Manager in the past and no action was taken against him.

Update: Thank you to everyone who have supported and shared your personal scenarios /additional information. Thanks you to all the others too who jumped to conclusions. I have realised that this is one of those situations in life that you would only understand if you have been through it and I genuinely hope no one goes through it.

Things just got worse over last few weeks and have pulled the pin and I am on sick leave. Doctor has been very supportive and to my surprise he conveyed that this is quite common in the corporate world and he sees at least one patient a week . I am on sick leave now and have raised a compliant with HR so fingers crossed !

Education & Work

Comments

  • AngoraFish on 19/08/2023 - 12:49
    +79

    If you can get 9 months worth of medical certificates you can get 9 months of paid sick leave. Your employer is not entitled to ask what your illness is.

    Start with your GP. In my experience they are generally sympathetic to these kinds of situations, but if not shop around until you find one who is.

    The 12 day thing is an organizational policy and presumably only relates to leave without a certificate, since you say you have 9 months saved up. There would be no point accumulating it if there was a limit.

    • HeWhoKnows on 21/08/2023 - 20:58
      -5

      OP should just leave
      There is nothing that can be done to resolve this

      • WhyAmICommenting on 22/08/2023 - 07:09
        +3

        Start by taking 9 months of sick/stress leave though. Can look for a job in there somewhere too.

        Keep an ear out for redundancy opportunities as well. Would be a nice way to transition, at least financially.

    • ssfps on 23/08/2023 - 01:25
      +1

      Not only useless, but harmful advice. Just (profanity) off with this shit.

  • Hybroid on 19/08/2023 - 12:50
    +8

    Your company will have an entire policy document on sick leave. Obtain a copy which should outline everything for you. Usually on the intranet if you have one.

    2 days a year is most definitely not correct. But could be a misunderstanding in that you need specific conditions (e.g. Doctor’s note) for anything more than that.

    There appears to be more pressing matters to discuss with HR though. Consider arranging a session to speak to them openly. Bear in mind they are employed to protect the company first and foremost but still have to take such matters seriously.

    • niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 12:54

      Sorry there was a typo - Its 12 days in a year!

    • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:37
      +18

      Chances are, they're being 'managed out'. HR won't likely won't help them at all. But it might be a required necessary step, and at least there's a record of complaint.

      They should email HR after to say 'Just to confirm we discussed this this and this, and you said this this and this' so that they have a record of the complaint, whether or not it was handled correctly (employment lawyer would know). And they should email that response to their personal email as a backup.

      Op should also be taking notes of every interaction. Every meeting on their performance. Times they got a vibe something said was a dig, or suggests company gossip about them, things that say 'hostile work environment'.

      • Lord Fart Bucket on 21/08/2023 - 10:01
        +8

        HR won't likely won't help them at all.

        Wouldn't surprise me… HR is there for the employer, not the workers. After all, who pays HR?

      • lonewolf on 21/08/2023 - 13:06
        +4

        Yup, took me years to realise that HR dont care about the employee but are there for the employer and to protect them. The Union is the only group that is there for the employee.I used to be blind and think HR were there to help the employees .

        • matt-ozb on 21/08/2023 - 23:04
          -2

          I just do a good job then don't have to deal with HR or any annoying managers.

          • syousef on 21/08/2023 - 23:50
            +4

            @matt-ozb: Doing good work is necessary not sufficient. You're confusing good luck for good management.

          • lonewolf on 22/08/2023 - 09:29
            +1

            @matt-ozb: Good job doesn't mean anything. It's all about the manager. I have seen situations where the people doing the job and their clients were both happy but a new manager comes in and starts causing trouble for the team and putting people down etc. I once had a couple of people tell.me that generally a manager looks out far more for people he was involved hiring or who came after he was in the job than people who were there before him…

            • Jackson on 27/08/2023 - 11:51

              @lonewolf: The same could be said for staff, in my experience staff who predate a manager often have less respect for them, at least for a long time until the manager has had an opportunity to earn it

              • lonewolf on 27/08/2023 - 13:17

                @Jackson: Except manager has the power over staff so can do alot more bullying and harrassment to the staff or give preferential treatment to the new staff he hires over the staff who were already there.

                And harrassment, bullying etc is all about power

        • MrFunSocks on 22/08/2023 - 12:23
          +1

          I don't know where the idea that HR is there to look out for the employees best interests came from in the first place. It has literally never been and has never been supposed to be about that.

          • lonewolf on 22/08/2023 - 12:56

            @MrFunSocks: Where i work, thats what HR always said they were there for as well as upper Management….

      • poppingtags on 21/08/2023 - 22:04
        +5

        They are 100% attempting to performance manage OP out of the organisation. They may have realised that OP’s role is one they could do without when they were on their secondment, and now trying to cut OP out under the guise of performance management.

  • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:02
    +15

    Sounds like are trying to 'manage you out'. Maybe because you shown you can do their jobs and it's harder to take advantage of someone, or just get away with incompetence then.

    I'm going to suggest the worst. You've been their a very long time. You've been moved around to be somebody else's problem. Maybe the works fine, but you are the best liked in the office. You have got nepotism points by being liked by higher ups to get promoted. So now you're starting to stink up the place. They put you in a temporary role with higher duties because well….you've been there so long and know so much, just WHY aren't you 'good enough' for a management role? They tried you out and…something went wrong.

    (That said sometimes employees who do all the work meaning less people need to be hired, stay in those roles 2-4 people would otherwise be needed to do)

    OP, are you a type of hire that would be hard to ahem get rid of? Diversity hire? Female in a male industry? Have you spoken up about issues. Are known to not take crap, and they know you know about laws and such. Do you know stuff that might get them in trouble?

    Talk to HR, but these types often get their way. Especially if they're doing it because someone higher up wants it done….

    And if they have to make shit up, fire you for theft because you forgot a company pen, or just make it unbearable there until you quit they will… (and that might be what they are doing!!)

    • niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 13:14
      +2

      Yes and there has been a history in the team where anytime a team member has expressed interest to find another role - they wanted the individual to move out "NOW"

      • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:19
        +1

        I'm unsure what you mean? What type of role? And what is 'move out now' to them?

        • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:29
          +7

          And honestly OP, i think the writings on the wall. You ARE being managed out. They want to get rid of you. Sorry.

          Sick leave isn't your main problem. But you could go to your GP, tell them you are being harassed. That they are making work life unbearable because you suspect they want YOU to quit. And see how long you can be put on sick leave, so you can destress and then hopefully during that time, find another job.

          OP, there are likely problems you could make for them - like unfair dismissal - if they fire you. So they want you to quit, or they are pilling things on to say you aren't performing well enough.

          Maybe discuss this with the labour board? Or a lawyer? If they want you gone, they'll get you gone though, sad to say. But would you want to remain there anyway?

          • niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 13:39
            +1

            @TiredKitty78: And I agree - i dont want to be there as well but in need breathing space untill i find another job and absolutely need them to take a step back !

        • niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 13:36
          +2

          I mean if anyone has expressed interest to grow or develop and find another role in the organisation - they start applying pressure and want them to move out of the team as soon as possible.

          • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:41

            @niish150887: Hmmm…I'm unsure if that is a bad thing. Maybe in that case, you have not be moved around to be other people's problem.

            Maybe somebody else knows more about this then me…

          • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 19:55

            @niish150887: Sounding so much now like there's a 'superiority' complex above you based on the bullies ethnicity, pushing down on yours.

    • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 13:17

      EDIT:

      NOT best liked, and NOT winning nepotism points.

    • michaelTito on 20/08/2023 - 15:29

      Or maybe they realised the job can be done without this person.

  • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 13:08
    +5

    Are there any underlying issues that could point to the harassment? Gender,ethnicity ,religion etc?

    See your GP, get the issue on the health record.
    If you can switch My Health records share option off, do it before the appts. That way you get to say who/if in future who can
    access the data should you need to (via the GP.)
    Join a union.(if you are not already a member)
    Liaise with them, take advice.
    Limit the interactions with your work HR. They are more into preserving their job, than yours.
    Keep a diary(accurate)

    • niish150887 on 19/08/2023 - 13:16
      +2

      Thanks ! This is helpful - from what i am aware of with pervious individuals who suffered this - Gender and Ethnicity has been same for at least 4 team members

      • Settero on 19/08/2023 - 13:22
        +10

        Keep records of any events of harassment and bullying, your lawyer will thank you.

      • MrThing on 19/08/2023 - 13:54

        vague at best. examples

      • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 14:48
        +1

        I'm in no way surprised.

    • drfuzzy on 21/08/2023 - 09:31
      +1

      You don't need to turn My Health Record off to control your own data.
      I don't understand the My Health Record advice.
      You remain in full control of your own data with My Health Record.
      Your employer does not have access to it.

      • YesPleaseThankYou on 21/08/2023 - 09:44
        +1

        Not until it is subpoenaed.

        • 811b11e8 on 21/08/2023 - 12:02

          MyHR has far less details then your GPs records do. GP deliberately put as little information on myHR as possible as they consider it there intellectual property and don't want you seeing other GPs.

          If they can subpoena your MyHR records they can subpoena your GP records too.

          You have very little chance of somebody being successful in subpoena for your health records there is much legislation protecting it it's unbelievable. NSW Health can't even access ACT Health information as example.

          • YesPleaseThankYou on 21/08/2023 - 12:15

            @811b11e8:

            GP deliberately put as little information on myHR as possible as they consider it there intellectual property and don't want you seeing other GPs

            Rubbish conspiracy theory.

            If they can subpoena your MyHR records they can subpoena your GP records too

            Sure, though you can also see a doctor, pay for it yourself, not claim anywhere, and it never ends up in Medicare. Who would know that you attended? Only you and the practice.

            You have very little chance of somebody being successful in subpoena for your health records

            Wrong.

          • dBagDealer on 22/09/2023 - 21:12

            @811b11e8: can confirm the IP stuff is rubbish. They just don’t upload documents because currently it is not mandated by any policy on government level. You’d have to really ask them to upload and pretty much hope that they do.

      • Protractor on 21/08/2023 - 09:51
        +1

        Some employers 'may' look down on anxiety as an issue ( the stigma still exists) if they somehow got/get a whiff of it. No they don't have access to our records, but there's no harm in the OP choosing to pause the record if they so choose so that stigma (which it should not be) doesn't somehow manifest either 'if' a case evolved or future events exposed it. Personally I think we need a bully register.They are the fwits who should be looking for a job. Maybe we should add that to their health records?
        Our society likes to say we are inclusive ,show empathy, re mental illnesses but we have a long way to go. The most times you see a positive perception is when some coward plays the PTSD card after committing serious cries. Bushfire arsonists are the most common. That's a timely reminder of what we can expect this summer

  • EightImmortals on 19/08/2023 - 13:17
    +5

    Have you told the manager to back the ***k off?
    If not, why not?

    Otherwise you need to record all of you interactions either on your phone or write them down asap. If you;re concerned about the particular recording rules in your state then simply transcribe whatever you record into a word document and say that wrote it all down after each interaction.

    You didn't specify what the harassment actually was though so we have no idea of how to reply. Someone in my wife's organisation put in a HR complaint because her boss expected her to turn up 5 days a week and do some work! :)

    • will05 on 19/08/2023 - 13:32

      looks like they trying getting rid of you anyway
      try go see em in smoko,lift,parking , off work - but make it CLEAR

    • MrThing on 19/08/2023 - 13:54
      +1

      "You didn't specify what the harassment actually was though so we have no idea of how to reply. Someone in my wife's organisation put in a HR complaint because her boss expected her to turn up 5 days a week and do some work! :)"

      The Horror

      • EightImmortals on 19/08/2023 - 15:18
        +1

        I know right?

        She reckons I'd last a week there before I got hauled in for expecting people to do their jobs.

  • CyberMurning on 19/08/2023 - 13:18
    +7

    over 9 months worth of sick leave - I called HR and they informed that I can take maximum of 12 days in a calendar year -

    What? Why only max 12? Doesnt make sense. You sick as long you are sick

    • jm7 on 20/08/2023 - 05:52
      +3

      I suspect HR misunderstood and mean you accumulate 12 per calendar year or you can take 12 separate days without requiring a medical certificate

      • CyberMurning on 20/08/2023 - 08:51
        +5

        Or… the HR staffs are joining the managers to bully him therefore giving wrong/bad info

  • PensionerXXL on 19/08/2023 - 13:23
    +5

    TLDR

    record it, gather evidence, lodge a complaint with Fairwork

    • will05 on 19/08/2023 - 13:30
      -1

      yeah ity won't get it anyway
      it will comeback haunt in future

  • leiiv on 19/08/2023 - 13:37
    +8

    Please clarify what kind of harrassment you received. You said there was no issues in the previous 4 years. Has it been the same direct manager and general manager for those two years as well? Can you think of what has changes?

    • MrThing on 19/08/2023 - 13:52
      +11

      yep this ^

      so many people take negative feedback or criticism about their work as bullying and harassment.

    • leiiv on 19/08/2023 - 15:16

      Sorry I meant four years.

    • Willy Beamish on 21/08/2023 - 09:38
      -3

      If they were actually being harassed they would have posted some basic examples, doubt it happened.

  • MrThing on 19/08/2023 - 13:53
    +13

    OP hasn't specified anything about what the "harassment" is about - so its impossible to give any real advice

    • Iwantthebestprice on 19/08/2023 - 15:52
      +4

      I agree, I’m curious what the harassment is which is causing the anxiety.. is OP being given deadlines which are not possible to meet, being put on some sort of performance plan, or are they just being a dick.

      I work in a large corp and there are ways to get rid of people who are not performing, but that’s because they are just plain shit at their job and move on, not because of what OP has described.

    • chichi on 20/08/2023 - 10:16
      +1

      How many times are you going to say this? It’s clear you think they are overreacting. Speaks volumes about you.

      • MrThing on 20/08/2023 - 10:28

        yep so prove the people who think that wrong

        instead of being vague and deflecting.

        I dunno why people think the internet is their online army to agree with whatever they post unconditionally

        • baskinghobo on 20/08/2023 - 15:06
          +2

          Tbf sharing specifics leaves you vulnerable and leads to a lot of victim blaming and judgement from people online. The internet isn't the welcoming place that you think it is for these sorts of discussions. I can already see some comments here blaming OP when as you've stated, there is too little info to give advice.

          • MrThing on 20/08/2023 - 16:04
            -1

            @baskinghobo: well horses bolted on OP since he was vague people are making up their own conclusions

            • baskinghobo on 20/08/2023 - 18:00
              +1

              @MrThing: Which makes my point. What makes you think people would want to open up about something that's affecting their mental health to judgemental people who are so quick to form an opinion and make assumptions about others without any context? Context isn't going to make it much better.

        • cookie2 on 21/08/2023 - 06:46

          I don't know why pol think ool should have to prove their situations either but here we are.

    • cookie2 on 21/08/2023 - 06:50

      Would you want to share specifics on an online forum that anyone could read, even potentially the ppl you work with? Be supportive or be quiet. This person has stated theyre experiences mental health issues due to the behaviour so back the f off and stop posting if you are going to be all judgy towards them.

      • MrThing on 21/08/2023 - 10:00

        OP sounds like a problem child playing the victim and playing the trump card of race and/or gender

        Everything OP has said doesnt make a whole lot of sense when pieced together or their situation is highly unusual

        There, prove me wrong OP

        • Sxio on 21/08/2023 - 17:14

          Lol dude why are you making this all about you and trying to start some kind of argument? Whatever you're going on about, it is all about you and has 0% to do with the OPs situation. She's given no detail yet you've jumped to all these conclusions all by yourself.

  • JIMB0 on 19/08/2023 - 14:04
    +2

    Enjoy your 9 months off with paid sick leave.

  • Downvoter on 19/08/2023 - 14:07
    +5

    Take as much of your own sick leave as you want. Alternatively see a GP, get a mental health plan and work capacity certificate.

    Then be on workcover leave but it won’t cost you any of your own sick leave.

  • tsunamisurfer on 19/08/2023 - 15:17

    Hang on , the OP describes the harassment as a weekly catch up to discuss his performance against expectations.

    That's not F$#king harassment that's called management.

    Imagine the OP had to work under an agile model where everyday you had to stand in front of everyone and explain what you achieved yesterday and what you aim to achieve today. He'd be suicidal.

    There has been Zero suggestion that the management is rude, aggressive, openly harassing in front of peers.

    If the harassment is asking for a weekly check in, I STAND WITH THE MANAGEMENT.

    And if the OP starts to play games like going to the Union, seeking extended leave, he is heading for career derailment.

    • Heaps for Cheaps on 19/08/2023 - 16:04
      +5

      The most important question first. Sick Leave. Accrued sick leave can be taken in one go, but it is unlikely your doctor will just write a certificate for 9 months but more so a few weeks at a time. The whole 12 days off is BS. You need to call Fair Work or your union about advice such as this as your HR department is steering you wrong.

      Reading between the lines, they probably have something against Southeast Asians.

      • MrThing on 19/08/2023 - 16:23
        -1

        "Reading between the lines, they probably have something against Southeast Asians"

        in that case they would have specifics of previous employees, other current employees and their own experienced examples. dates, times, he said, she said, they did, etc

        not vague anecdotal comments like

        "from what I am aware of with previous individuals who suffered this - Gender and Ethnicity has been same for at least 4 team members"

        gender and ethnicity is just a cop out excuse some people bring up if they are staring down the barrel of being fuked off because its generally a topic too hot to handle

        • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 16:30
          +3

          If the OP feels there is an issue around race or gender they should go full bore via the union to cut the rot from the organisation. Win win.

          If anyone is being singled out, and previous people in the same cohort have experienced the same issue, then the union is the way to go.

          If the OPs version is not anecdotal to them, then it's their experience.
          Bullying is bullying, but add a persons race or gender as a driver in a manager and you have a toxic employee who needs to go. They can't be fixed

    • TiredKitty78 on 19/08/2023 - 16:25
      +1

      OP recap: 12 years, no problems, shuffled around a bit. Move temp to different higher duties. Goes back to old position. Is now - Implied, were they never were before - being managed and their performance critique weekly like clockwork. Just them.

      They say their performance is no less then it was before. True? Idk. I'm going to assume so. So, management sounds like they are nipicking to 'manage them' out or get them to quit. Maybe they got a stick up their butt and are being brought down a peg, but that still sounds like that are being unjustly 'performance manged'.

      It's used as a tool against workers to get them gone. If you say they don't….well, found a manager.

      "There is no suggestion management is not doing everything by the book 😉 OP is just weak. Maybe we should ask them to report their performance everyday huh! See how they like that! Union? Oh so he wants to be Mr tough guy huh? They're at fault! They're playing games. No one ever gets harassed until they quit!" - commenter above probably

    • Iwantthebestprice on 19/08/2023 - 17:49

      I agree with this comment 100% anyone who does agile or works in a tech field would laugh at a weekly catch-up being called harassment..

      • Alley Cat on 22/08/2023 - 08:21
        +1

        Well it depends on how it’s done tho. If your direct report perceives your weekly catch-up as harassment, there’s something wrong with your relationship. And one-on-ones are all about fostering trust and building relationships, not tearing them apart, which is what is happening with OP. The dynamic is not working because the manager couldn’t or does not intend to connect with OP in a way that is beneficial. It falls on the manager because they are the ones initiating the meetings.

    • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 18:55
      +1

      No they didn't. That's only a part of it>

      Open the other eye.

      "a General Manager have been literally harassing me every single day which has caused me a lot stress anxiety to the extent that it is now affecting my personal life and mental health"

    • Nebargains on 21/08/2023 - 09:46

      And if the OP starts to play games like going to the Union, seeking extended leave, he is heading for career derailment.

      Agree, taking time off for "stress leave" and going to the union is only going to anger management, if you are going to go down this path you should be looking for a job at the same time so that you can leave the stressful situation for your own sake.

      A decade ago one of my colleagues at the time felt that their manager was harassing them, to be honest their performance wasn't quite where it needed to be and their attitude had gone downhill a bit after someone better was hired in a similar role who took some of their work. They took stress leave, maybe like 6 weeks? Don't remember exactly.

      Do you think management goes "oh, poor darling is really stressed we should back off?"? No, they are going to say "well, if they can't handle the heat they are not the right person for this org".

      Taking stress leave for a situation like this (it's probably fine in some other situations, like at the end of a demanding project etc) where it seems to be as a result of performance is not going to go down well.

      Sounds like they are being managed out for whatever reason and they should look for another job.

      • YesPleaseThankYou on 21/08/2023 - 09:48

        Agree, taking time off for "stress leave" and going to the union is only going to anger management

        Too bad for management.

        • Protractor on 21/08/2023 - 10:22
          +1

          Yes feckem.
          Amazing how man bully enablers and excusers there are here . So just let gutless cowards in the workplace break you, and move on? Yeah nah.

          • tsunamisurfer on 21/08/2023 - 10:54

            @Protractor: Except there has been no description of any harassment other than asking for performance updates.

            Are weekly or even daily update requests considered harassment?

            • Protractor on 21/08/2023 - 11:41
              +3

              @tsunamisurfer: Yes, they should defs quote the finer forensic details and further jeopardise their safety for the joy of online voyeurs. s/

  • AustriaBargain on 19/08/2023 - 16:47

    Are you in the union? And is he?

  • trustnoone on 19/08/2023 - 17:32
    +1

    Hi OP, can't help you with the leave as its based on policy and whatever discussion you have with your union.
    But my 2c is to start getting details now. Write up a diary which is either hard copy OR on your OWN PC. That has times and dates of the harassment towards yourself AND others. Also include times and dates you've spoken to management/HR/etc about the issue or fixing the issue.
    Bear in mind when you start, then any comms you have in Teams, or emails etc may be removed, taken or used against you. So make sure to back up what you need as part of this diary and anything you want to keep that you don't want to just "disappear" once you get legal involved. Also keep in mind once you do, HR will turn and their alignment will certainly be for the business first.

  • spackbace on 19/08/2023 - 18:27
    -1

    Side note, 2 years ago you'd been there over 12 years:
    https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/605049

    I mean, I guess 14+ years is technically over 12 years…

    • Downvoter on 19/08/2023 - 19:37
      +6

      Stop trawling through everyone’s post history

    • MrKnowItAll on 20/08/2023 - 12:18
      +4

      I too found this, 12 years in BANKING, now 12 years in TELECOM.

      Something not adding up

      • johnno07 on 21/08/2023 - 09:49
        +3

        Maybe exclusively works in phone banking?

      • lewislardboy on 21/08/2023 - 10:52
        +1

        Haha busted OP.

      • drprox on 21/08/2023 - 12:28

        Yep this. Without something definitive I'm thinking OP finally ditched the bank, has been at the new employer for say 12 "months" and is having issues. Now this doesn't mean OP is in the wrong as it could be a totally toxic workplace but it would help context a bit.

      • Nick939 on 21/08/2023 - 19:51
        +1

        Did you consider the OP may have changed irrelevant details slightly to avoid their employer tracking back to this post if things got ugly?

  • Lunarboogie on 19/08/2023 - 18:59
    -5

    OP can look to fight this so called harassment and turn this into a war of attrition which would ultimately take more of a toll on him, than the corporation. Even if successful, he would have destroyed any credibility he has left in the eyes of management and would be as tolerated by his own peers as a Leongatha mushroom.

    Or you could take this with a little more dignity. Either work on your weaknesses and improve your performance or take the hint and quit before you're pushed. If you leave early, you’ll go on your terms and with some prospect of good references.

    There are plenty of other jobs. 14+ years is a lot. You've probably over stayed your welcome. Look elsewhere.

    • Protractor on 19/08/2023 - 19:24
      +5

      You've made the bullies the victims, and the victim the problem.
      Overstayed their welcome> LOL

      Leongatha mushroom.? Pretty low act to drag a recent tragedy into a discussion to make a point

      Weaknesses? What calling out bullies?

    • cookie2 on 21/08/2023 - 06:53
      +2

      Take poor and unjust treatment with dignity? that's twisted af.

  • nick90 on 19/08/2023 - 20:51
    +20

    I've gone through intense workplace bullying last year with my previous employer. They pushed me to the point where I exploded and almost got terminated. My employer made me take stress leave & have a medical clearance from my doctor before I return. However, my doctor and psychologist advised me to not return to work and find a new job, which is what happened in the end.

    Honestly, no job is worth your mental health and well-being. I'm still suffering from PTSD from my last job & it made things worse when I made a formal complaint to my manager. It then dwindled to victimisation, exclusion & pretty much taking away any benefits to my job, intentionally demoting me because I made a complaint against him. It also doesn't help that his manager/exec looked down on me and blamed me for his poor behaviour, suggesting that I should understand that he was stressed and he was my friend (which turned out to be further from the truth). They tried a working together agreement, only for him to go back to his poor behaviour a day later & despite reporting this, nothing was done about it until I exploded. I received no help for well-being at work, no counselling, no mentoring, nothing…just call the EAP or see your counsellor.

    Some things to consider
    - Note down every interaction that you have, summarise it and keep somewhere private. Keep a record of the date, time, location and other people who were present. Somewhere like the note app on your phone is great.
    - Use your sick leave and mention clearly why your using it.
    - Any interaction you have via your work email about this, especially to HR, bcc a copy to your personal email
    - Visit your doctor regularly and talk to them about issues at work. When I was on stress leave, my exec wanted to discuss this with my doctors (the one that stuck up for my manager). However, once my doctor told him it's been occurring for some time and put him in his place, he never spoke to me again.
    - Find any job to get by. It might not be what you want, but as an interim solution, it will keep money coming in and help you keep your mind off what happened.
    - Speak to your loved ones and friends about your feeling and get professional help.
    - Inform HR about what has happened and clearly state that you're not returning to work if you have to work with your manager. Specially mention your safety and well-being.
    - If they offer you a severance package, take it and run.
    - If your employer is thinking about dismissing you, get legal action ASAP.

    I'm so sorry you have been through this. I know how horrible it can be and I'm truly wish you can recover from this. If you need any more information please let me know

    • John Kimble on 19/08/2023 - 21:32
      +10

      You wrote a lot of good information, but the one takeaway is

      Honestly, no job is worth your mental health and well-being.

      You only have one life and it goes by so quickly, don't waste it in a shitty job/or with toxic people…ideally you wouldn't need to work in the first place, but baby steps…

      • Jackson on 20/08/2023 - 12:54
        +3

        ideally, you wouldn't need to work in the first place

        The dream…

        On a serious note I have seen this sort of thing happen and @nick90 has hit the nail on the head

    • Protractor on 21/08/2023 - 10:31
      +3

      Legal or not I'd have a concealed phone on record if I was to find myself one on one with the 'offender'. I would later write a non verbatim transcript for future use.Consider the justification if ever asked as a safety issue.It is..
      And you are correct about the BCC of every email sent on the issue. NOT CC!

      • nick90 on 21/08/2023 - 17:07
        +1

        The only thing I wish I did, was to use the recording app when we had one of our "conversations", specially in a private room. I think a couple of time he was actually paranoid that I was recording him…I only wish I actually did.

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