Complaining Neighbour: Am I Bad or It’s My Neighbour?

bygones on 08/03/2023 - 19:58
Last edited 08/03/2023 - 20:00

Hi Guys,
I am looking for your feedback!

My work starts from 6:00 AM, need to drive more than 25 Km every morning (Strathfield to Granville on Parramatta Road, then on M4 to Reservoir Road). So Everymorning at 4:30/4:45 AM I need to wake up, take shower at 5:00 AM and leave around 5:15 AM.

I moved in my new unit few months back. When I moved here, bathroom tap used to make some noise while turning On - and would stop in Medium/High. The first day after coming home from work- my neighbour left one note on my door saying: “I WOKE UP BY THE SOUND OF YOUR BATHROOM”. That was understandable, and I had already took photos and video of sound of tap and was thinking to send to real estate to ask to repair on the same day. That evening, I bought bucket and started bucket bath in the morning to prevent sound of shower tap. Closed 90% of window (left 10% open to let steam go out - else fireAlarm can get triggered).

After 2 days again got note on my door saying they woke up by sound of me bathing, and they even called my realestate asking to get my bathroom fixed, which I had already done from my side. Then I started taking deep baths in the evening and just a quick shower in morning. I can’t go to work without taking shower, as I need to drive on Motorway so need to be fresh.

Plumber came - fixed the shower. No complaints abt that so far.

After 1 week again they left another note saying they woke up when I lock my door while going out. Now I started to get upset - I never bang my door. Anyways I started to lock only one lock that doesn’t make sound (the door knub that we can push from in while going out) and didn’t lock screening door (just to take upto lock - and leave it) - so no locking sound will come.

Now again today they left me aother note saying they always wake up by sound of my shoes while going work in morning.

Frankly speaking I am not an alien who has just landed on earth and doesn’t know how to live in neighbourhood. I have lived in many units and going on work early morning. I can understand when I leave home at around 5:15 AM, many people are sleeping at that time. So I always try to be as quiet as possible. Before I had never got any complaints abt noise or anything, and when I just moved here - in 2 months I am getting complaints over complaints.

I have seen the same neighbour leaving note on other units on lower floor saying “Don’t talk in loud sound over phone”, “Don’t talk in loud sound after 10:00 PM”. Luckily no evening issues with me so far.

I am just wondering if I am the bad neighbour, or she’s complaining neighbour. What is the chance of getting disturbed by shoes sound - it’s Executive Safety boot - so can have more sound than sports shoes. But not like I bang each steps of stairs.

What can be the solution of this? Should I talk with her? Leave a note to her ? Put my shoes in car downstairs and wear sneakers up-to my car? The first note was understandable-shower used to make sound. But after that if she gets wake up when I take bath, when I lock door or walk - either I should be crazy neighbour or she has very sensitive sleep.

Home & Garden

Comments

  • Nickels n Dimes on 09/03/2023 - 19:47

    NTA:
    Pity your neighbour, they clearly hate living there and suffer from misophonia or some similar acoustic issue.
    Clearly you are doing everything possible to help avoid it, but earplugs or white/pink noise might help them.
    From your side, you could add foam door pads around the point where your doors touch the frame (they're rarely uniform), and if your plumbing is making noise you can try adjusting the water pressure lower.

  • Sammy Boi on 09/03/2023 - 19:49

    Now this is some crazy shit.

    I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt regarding the first noise because plumbing noises can be crazy but if somebody wrote a note on my door regarding my footsteps or the fact I'm locking my apartment they would regret it and I would go out of my way to find fantastic and elaborate ways to make their life more interesting because people like this don't seem to have lives and that's why you're receiving these ridiculous notes. No offence but you went way too far using a bucket to wash yourself you sound like the kind of person that very much cares about others but that's too far in my opinion.

  • Speckled Jim on 09/03/2023 - 20:09

    You've accommodated her escalating and unreasonable demands for too long. Each corrective measure you take results in more complaints.
    Her demonstrated pattern of harassment is illegal. Even if she OWNS all the units and resides in one, she cannot dictate tenant habits, lifestyles, speaking patterns, hygiene, security arrangements or entry/exit of premises.
    If you were boarders in her share house, maybe.

  • thespectra on 09/03/2023 - 20:38

    Seems you are being harrassed. Keep all the notes your neighbour sends. Be as polite and as quiet you can be. Leave a note saying something like "I am sorry that you are such a light sleeper. I've done all I can to not be a nuisance, but now I am being harrassed by all this notes and requests. Get help." And never engage again. if he/she keeps harrassing you, well, that is what cops are for.

  • fredk1000 on 09/03/2023 - 20:43
    +1

    Tell them to turn off their hearing aid when they sleep.

  • justgooddeals on 09/03/2023 - 21:07

    Play Kate Bush's "Get Out Of My House" …at high volume. That will give the old bat something to really complain about.

  • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 09/03/2023 - 21:12
    +3

    Fart loudly at their door each morning before driving off. Power move.

  • diceman99 on 09/03/2023 - 21:27
    +1

    Get them some $2 ear plugs and put super glue on them

  • Seiko on 09/03/2023 - 21:37

    Write a counter note stating that the noise of her note writing is causing you distress and you demand that she stop writing notes immediately.

  • Cherry12 on 09/03/2023 - 21:55

    Leave her a note with earplugs attached.

  • mitt on 09/03/2023 - 22:32
    +1

    Get complaints from other neighbours she is harassing. Put in complaint to body corporate.

  • Mattttttty on 09/03/2023 - 22:41
    +4

    You need to wear Old Karen down a bit until she adjusts the levels on her hearing aids..
    1) buy heavier boots and wear them when you're inside, all the time.
    2) listen to the radio whilst you shower in the morning. 3AW is just non stop chatter..
    3) Lock your locks, all of them. Rattle them to be sure.
    4) Warm up your car in with a few Revs in the driveway before driving off.

    Do this for a fortnight. After she's gone insane and begged you to be quieter, go back to wearing normal shoes, having normal showers and driving . She will be thrilled with the noise reduction.

    • Drifta on 10/03/2023 - 00:30

      This! You've done plenty. I would do this for sure

  • THICKnSLOW on 10/03/2023 - 00:03
    +1

    Maybe she is lonely. If you have time, get to know her and be friends. She may lighten up.

  • nmcc08 on 10/03/2023 - 01:35

    You're too nice my friend.

  • YoursTruly on 10/03/2023 - 03:08

    NEXT Note you are bound to get:

    “Could hear you breathing heavy during SEX.”

    “Stop. SEXING.”

    😳

  • nswnotill on 10/03/2023 - 08:08

    Att: Ozbargainer Bygones . This has been a very interesting and entertaining discussion. In due course could you give us Ozbargainers a progress or final report? Thank you.

  • playswithfire on 10/03/2023 - 09:19

    I had this exact same scenario happen to me in 1998 with my ex-wife, only difference was the people in the apartment next to ours were the kids of the landlord, who owned 4 townhouses in the block of 12 - and they threatened to have us evicted in a full-page handwritten all caps letter, all because I was getting up and showering at 5am before going to work at 6am!

    It's a shitty situation and not your fault. Good luck with resolving it.

  • splicer on 10/03/2023 - 10:17

    She lives in an apartment block with other people. If they're a light sleeper, what in god's name were they thinking would happen?

    Keep all the notes, must be good for something diabolical later on down the track.

    Leave a note under her door about the litter she keeps putting under your door.

    OP you are a genuine caring person, carry on.

  • Wilkirdz on 10/03/2023 - 10:23

    https://www.strataplus.com.au/strata-faq/#
    HOW CAN I HELP WITH NOISE AS A GOOD STRATA NEIGHBOUR?

  • BargainKen on 10/03/2023 - 10:29
    +1

    Next step is a trip to the pound, buy the loudest barking dog you can find to keep your neighbour company while you're away at work. The louder the better.

  • cosmos on 10/03/2023 - 10:33
    +2

    Give her a set of earplugs, or a deal (on ozbargain) on good sound canceling headphones

    • stuffandthat on 10/03/2023 - 12:37

      The real OzBargain way!

  • pilchard on 10/03/2023 - 10:41
    +1

    They seem really good at guessing what activity your up to based on the sound.

    Turn it into a game. Each day you should do something different and see if they guess correctly.

  • vchar on 10/03/2023 - 11:52
    +1

    this reminded me a few years back, I lived in an apartment 2nd and 3rd floor which is above a neighbor on the first floor. He kept complaining we made noise.

    the first time he came to me and start with f word then complained about the noise, I thought my family members may make the noise so I said sorry, then came the second time, he acted like an idiot and started the conversation with me with the f word again, I said sorry and told him I will fix the problem. I told my kids stay on the third floor, not allowed them came down unless necessary.

    the third time he came to me and complained again, funnily enough, we went away for three days and just back and coincidentally met him. voila, I thought something was wrong with him. I told him that we weren't home for days, so the noise definitely not from us. he seemed to be convinced but still acted like an idiot.

    then again the fourth times, I was about to lost control but I kept staying cool and explain him we weren't home during the day and just back from work. he felt pissed off and had gone away mad.

    the fifth time he came triggered me, I did all it take to fk him off but he kept staying at my property and kept reasoning the issue was from us while we weren't even home lol. I was really lost so I yelled at him loudly and asked what he wanted, other neighbors were surprised that I lost my control. he then started to cool off and left after an hour or so of arguing with me. from there, I stopped fking care anymore but since then I didn't see him appear at my property and complaint again.

    I just felt he was trying to bully me or anyone that he could but he was wrong as I only let him did that only when I couldn't prove I was right.

    • cupcake on 10/03/2023 - 13:37
      +2

      Sounds like your neighbour has mental health issues. It's quite common these days.
      One of my neighbours actually ran past me while I was speaking to another neighbour outside and then ran back toward us to confront us. He likes to run the streets at 6pm. He asked us why we didn't say hello to him when he last saw us and if we didn't want to say hello to him, then let him know and he won't say hello to us anymore.
      We were like, what the hell lol Told him it was no big deal as we may not have heard him?
      Anyway, we've diagnosed him with autism and possibly aspergers syndrome. He's in his 40s and lives with his mum.

      • vchar on 10/03/2023 - 15:52

        I didn't know what happened to him but he was apparently rude.

        • cupcake on 10/03/2023 - 15:57

          The F word does give off rude vibes.

  • Homr on 10/03/2023 - 12:27

    Thanks Op, I just crossed out Strathfield from my list of suburbs to buy an apartment in

  • stuffandthat on 10/03/2023 - 12:32

    Start leaving notes on her door. Here's some to get you started:

    "I can hear you chewing, please only nibble food"

    "Your farts woke me up at 3am, please refrain from farting"

    "Your heater made my apartment hot, don't use it at night"

    See how she likes it…

    • kungfupanda on 10/03/2023 - 16:15
      +1

      I was about to suggest the same ….
      or just don’t care - do and walk like you normally do and when they “complain” just ignore it
      Sometimes being nice to someone isn’t the best way to resolve an issue with a person like this case.

    • smartazz104 on 11/03/2023 - 07:31
      +1

      “The sticky tape you used to affix your note to my door has left some residue, how will you resolve this”.

  • yokel on 10/03/2023 - 12:50

    In past life living in a unit (small block) I would get annoyed by noise. I was totally fine with anyone going about their day earning a living. What I couldn’t stand was unnecessary, disruptive stuff like yelling, music up loud and diesel engines left running and running. Water hammer, washing machine solenoids and bad tap washers is awful. Well done on getting the plumbing repaired.

  • Souljarh on 10/03/2023 - 12:51
    +1

    "Frankly speaking I am not an alien who has just landed on earth", no human would ever say that, I think the issue is that you sir, are an alien.

  • BlahBlahBlaah on 10/03/2023 - 13:19

    Talk to her while holding a hunting knife, that usually does it. Let me guess, she's unemployed and has no empathy for the working class?
    Go about and keep doing what you're doing, if she has a problem, she can move.

  • coffeeinmyveins on 10/03/2023 - 13:22

    You've done more than enough to remedy this.

    I have seen the same neighbour leaving note on other units on lower floor saying “Don’t talk in loud sound over phone”, “Don’t talk in loud sound after 10:00 PM”. Luckily no evening issues with me so far.

    Makes me think that this neighbour isn't all there. When people are mentally ill, old or angry they will lash out at others for anything they do.

    Right now as I type this the next door neighbour is mowing their grass. I don't care, it's the middle of the day, but I suspect that your neighbour would have a problem with it and write them an angry note.

    There's just no winning with some people. Maybe leave them a note ;)

  • Daddy Chill on 10/03/2023 - 13:48

    Play the Kazoo at 4am and use this alarm https://youtu.be/enYdAxVcNZA

  • Miss B on 10/03/2023 - 15:21

    Nope! You are not the problem. I aim to not negatively impact on other people's lives and to have a neutral or better relationship with neighbours. You are behaving reasonably and have done your best to accommodate them. Your neighbour's behaviour is having a negative impact on you.

    If you walking or locking your house is waking them up, they need to figure something out, they might need to use earplugs or white noise or move into a standalone house. At some point they need to take responsibility for their own problems instead of trying to place that responsibility on other people.

    I do feel for them if they're not getting enough sleep, but it's not fair for them to put all of this on you and their other neighbours when you're just doing normal activities.

  • funnysht on 10/03/2023 - 17:33

    To be fair op post could be one sided…but yeh sounds like neighbour is unfair and unreasonable

  • lainey13 on 10/03/2023 - 18:06

    I found it curious that you equated driving on a motorway with the need to have a shower…

  • hopper on 10/03/2023 - 19:28
    +1

    time u buy a bazooka

  • Black Brown Blue on 11/03/2023 - 09:00

    You should not have done any of actions you have described.
    You are a human, a normal person has to do daily activities. Living in unit or apartment has its negative like noise from neighbours sometimes. I lived in units for many years. What you have described yourself is a very reasonable and normal renter. The neighbour is just a attention seeker, controlling and has too much free time, she needs to adjust to her neighbour or else leave.

  • chops on 11/03/2023 - 11:16

    Pretty sure this is a Troll Post LOL!

  • Skyactiv12 on 11/03/2023 - 12:37

    https://www.happyearsearplugs.com/au/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAx6ugBhCc…

    This should help Karen. Attach some to her door.

  • elcap on 11/03/2023 - 14:37

    2 bad neighbors

  • hippyhippy on 11/03/2023 - 21:33

    Id get a v10 twin turbo and rev the hell out of it…

  • TheRealCher on 11/03/2023 - 23:29

    Some thoughts
    Neighbour obv has sensitivity issues and suspect is not getting treatment/working in managing/distracting

    Sometimes you having constant low level noise like a brown noise or white noise video playomg out of youtube might help…that way what shes perceiving as extreme noises wont come as a shock.

    Please note im talking about perceptions…

    Ive been on both sides of this. As someone with spectrum issues, i can hear dogs barking 3 blocks away. Doesnt give me permission to be a butthead. Doesnt give the neighbours nextdoor permission to leave a howling dog outside my bedeoom wimdow.
    So…it sounds like yr doing what you can.
    You might want to see what mediation is available in your area.

  • will05 on 12/03/2023 - 00:55

    did you change your locks recently? All units must change their locaks every now N then
    ohh your neighbors, sounds like pensior peace of s***
    never mind them, they can't go realestate or fairtrading and neither realestate give crap about
    I think you being okay so far yourown

  • Ozykins on 12/03/2023 - 08:21

    Tell 'em you've been approached by someone interested in your apartment but you've discovered they are a freelance jazz trumpet player who'd be coming and going at all hours and having prolonged practice sessions. How much would they pay you to refuse his offer.

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