Complaining Neighbour: Am I Bad or It’s My Neighbour?

bygones on 08/03/2023 - 19:58
Last edited 08/03/2023 - 20:00

Hi Guys,
I am looking for your feedback!

My work starts from 6:00 AM, need to drive more than 25 Km every morning (Strathfield to Granville on Parramatta Road, then on M4 to Reservoir Road). So Everymorning at 4:30/4:45 AM I need to wake up, take shower at 5:00 AM and leave around 5:15 AM.

I moved in my new unit few months back. When I moved here, bathroom tap used to make some noise while turning On - and would stop in Medium/High. The first day after coming home from work- my neighbour left one note on my door saying: “I WOKE UP BY THE SOUND OF YOUR BATHROOM”. That was understandable, and I had already took photos and video of sound of tap and was thinking to send to real estate to ask to repair on the same day. That evening, I bought bucket and started bucket bath in the morning to prevent sound of shower tap. Closed 90% of window (left 10% open to let steam go out - else fireAlarm can get triggered).

After 2 days again got note on my door saying they woke up by sound of me bathing, and they even called my realestate asking to get my bathroom fixed, which I had already done from my side. Then I started taking deep baths in the evening and just a quick shower in morning. I can’t go to work without taking shower, as I need to drive on Motorway so need to be fresh.

Plumber came - fixed the shower. No complaints abt that so far.

After 1 week again they left another note saying they woke up when I lock my door while going out. Now I started to get upset - I never bang my door. Anyways I started to lock only one lock that doesn’t make sound (the door knub that we can push from in while going out) and didn’t lock screening door (just to take upto lock - and leave it) - so no locking sound will come.

Now again today they left me aother note saying they always wake up by sound of my shoes while going work in morning.

Frankly speaking I am not an alien who has just landed on earth and doesn’t know how to live in neighbourhood. I have lived in many units and going on work early morning. I can understand when I leave home at around 5:15 AM, many people are sleeping at that time. So I always try to be as quiet as possible. Before I had never got any complaints abt noise or anything, and when I just moved here - in 2 months I am getting complaints over complaints.

I have seen the same neighbour leaving note on other units on lower floor saying “Don’t talk in loud sound over phone”, “Don’t talk in loud sound after 10:00 PM”. Luckily no evening issues with me so far.

I am just wondering if I am the bad neighbour, or she’s complaining neighbour. What is the chance of getting disturbed by shoes sound - it’s Executive Safety boot - so can have more sound than sports shoes. But not like I bang each steps of stairs.

What can be the solution of this? Should I talk with her? Leave a note to her ? Put my shoes in car downstairs and wear sneakers up-to my car? The first note was understandable-shower used to make sound. But after that if she gets wake up when I take bath, when I lock door or walk - either I should be crazy neighbour or she has very sensitive sleep.

Home & Garden

Comments

  • Mechz on 08/03/2023 - 20:01
    +326

    Tell them to close their windows. You've done more than enough.

    • Caped Baldy on 09/03/2023 - 09:05
      +63

      The neighbour sounds like a nightmare and someone with too much time on their hands.

      I've spoken to a former colleague at Council about a resident that wanted them to turn off a light outside her house. It was an Ausgrid light so they couldn't do much and suggested she get curtains. Apparently she couldn't afford them despite living in an almost waterfront house in Sydney.

      • Euphemistic on 09/03/2023 - 14:43
        +2

        I had a neighbour that taped some broomsticks together with a paintbrush on the end to blackout half the streetlight that was shining into his house. Had to do it at least twice after they fixed it once.

        • Helmuth on 09/03/2023 - 15:35
          +18

          This neighbour probably has broomsticks already. For transport, if nothing else.

      • Windows7forever on 10/03/2023 - 22:26

        You're living next to a Karen. Stop feeding the beast. Every time you get another passive aggressive note, act to the contrary.

    • MrFrugalSpend on 09/03/2023 - 23:50
      +10

      Not just close the windows, seen as though this is OzBargain… we can try solve this for <$8
      She can buy ear muffs - https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/394414677648 or ear plugs https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/115171603989

      Better yet, OP should buy them for her, leave a note saying "I'm doing my best to be quiet, I have to get up early for work, here have a gift to solve your own problems - No more notes please, next step is on you".

    • goraygo on 11/03/2023 - 14:21
      +1

      I consider ops being very considerate. I wish every neighbour is like ops.

      You really can’t do much. Some people just love complaining.

  • whatwasherproblem on 08/03/2023 - 20:05
    +88

    What can be the solution of this? Should I talk with her? Leave a note to her ?

    Nah man, you keep doing you. She sounds like an absolute busybody. Either she's trying to pick a fight (in which case you'd be a schmuck to take the bait now), or she's genuinely ill in the mind and actually disturbed by nigh-imperceptible sounds that you're making as you prepare for your day (in which case you're effortlessly trolling this loser without even putting conscious effort into it, and you're an inspiration to us all).

    • Caped Baldy on 09/03/2023 - 09:06
      +15

      Should we wait for pam's post on her noisy neighbours?

      • MuddyClear on 09/03/2023 - 21:41

        It’s Karen, not Pam

        • jwh on 09/03/2023 - 23:24
          +2

          Not in the lore of OzBargain.

          I enjoy those posts.

    • MrFrugalSpend on 09/03/2023 - 23:49
      +2

      username checks out

  • mskeggs on 08/03/2023 - 20:05
    +31

    It seems like you are being reasonable. Maybe go and have a chat and explain you are doing your best, and tell her your working schedule so she can choose to maybe go to bed early those nights or whatever.

    • us3rnam3tak3n on 08/03/2023 - 23:48
      +9

      I don't know why this got downvoted. Open communication is the best way to de-escalate the situation.

      • Blargman2001 on 09/03/2023 - 01:06
        +92

        Because when you engage with an idiot, they bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

        • npnp on 09/03/2023 - 09:41
          +13

          Exactly this. The way the neighbour has acted so far illustrates that she is not a reasonable person hence not worth talking to.

      • smartazz104 on 11/03/2023 - 07:24

        You mean as opposed to writing bullshit notes like the neighbour is doing? They won’t engage, why should OP waste their time? Tell her to buy earplugs and move on.

  • spackbace on 08/03/2023 - 20:07
    +41

    This is why I couldn't do apartment living…

    • Jimothy Wongingtons on 08/03/2023 - 21:09
      +4

      Few years back had to do some service calls for some apartments in the cbd - **** that for a joke, I’m sure I could sneeze and the whole floor would hear me.

    • Nugs on 08/03/2023 - 21:17
      +3

      This is why I moved to acreage
      .

    • dogboy on 09/03/2023 - 08:47
      +1

      I couldn't do it. My family makes way too much bloody noise.

    • DingoBilly on 09/03/2023 - 08:51
      +8

      Many people don't really have a choice given the price differences between renting an apartment vs. a house…

    • redslert on 09/03/2023 - 14:38
      +7

      Not so much as apartment living, there are plenty of people living in apartments without issue.
      The problem is bad quality, cost cutting apartment builds.

    • corgi-runner on 09/03/2023 - 15:42

      You can, you just ignore the nutcases like OP’s neighbour. Ignorance is bliss.

    • pharkurnell on 09/03/2023 - 16:00
      +1

      reason # 239802934832942304823490234

    • Breno785au on 09/03/2023 - 21:04
      +2

      Sounds like their neighbour can't do apartment living either.

    • jrowls on 10/03/2023 - 10:10
      +20

      this is a symptom of poor construction, not 'apartment living'.

      my apartment in canberra (early 2010s build) was practically airtight. i'd be enjoying peace and quiet, only to go out onto the balcony and find my neighbour was having a party that could be heard quite clearly. you shut the front door, or the windows, and it was like putting on a set of earmuffs. incredible.

      i currently live in a 40s fibro house in sydney suburbia where i can see through the floor, the hung windows are practically falling out of their rails, and frequent monitoring for plants encroaching from outside to inside is required. if i kept a diary, i could track my neighbour's diet based on their farts and toilet schedule. when the other neighbour had a mate over preparing for a hunting trip, i could hear literally every word of their normal volume conversation and now have the required knowledge to identify, stalk, shoot, transport, skin, and butcher a deer.

      that's without mentioning temperature control. ooft.

      sorry for the spiel but im on a tear to dispel the myths about apartments. we just build shit ones because they're not for people, they're for investors. good apartments are excellent. i'd rather be in one right now.

        • jrowls on 10/03/2023 - 14:26
          +2

          An intelligent, articulate and somewhat amusing post. Unusual.

          if only the same could be said about your comment!

          • Roman Sandstorm on 10/03/2023 - 15:23

            @jrowls: … a very soft and gentle (by most internet standards) chide about a lack of capitalisation is met with a nuclear response…

            • jrowls on 10/03/2023 - 16:06
              +2

              @Roman Sandstorm: you: an asinine and unnecessarily verbose "chide" about the use of capitalisation (quite possibly the least useful part of our spelling and grammar regime in terms of conveying meaning) on the internet, a place notorious for its disregard of language norms and formality

              me: refuses to engage in pointless commentary about capitalisation; sends a simple retort

              you: omg he went nuclear, smh kids these days, i need a lie down and another daydream about tracy grimshaw

              • ajm07 on 11/03/2023 - 15:25
                +1

                @jrowls: Don't know why I'm jumping in. FYI I'm a lover not a fighter.

                I don't think the lack of capitals is that bad on the eyes. No paragraphs is #1, no full stops or commas is #2, then I think there's several more layers before capitalisation is an issue.

                But genuine curiosity, why don't you capitalise?

                I feel like I would plummet off the edge of the world if one of my sentences didn't start with an up and end with a dot.

                • jrowls on 11/03/2023 - 17:38
                  +1

                  @ajm07: hahaha that's fine, no stress re jumping in. as a perennially curious bloke i get ya and i'm happy to indulge. totally agree re paragraphs being crucial, by the way.

                  to answer your question, it's not really something i've thought about so you'll have to bear with me as i unpack it here.

                  point 1: as i said above, i find that removing capitalisation really doesn't affect how meaning is conveyed (broadly speaking).

                  point 2: there is definitely a wider trend away from capitalisation (refer to the guardian's style guide re acronyms for one example).

                  point 3: i generally enjoy a more casual way of talking and use a lot of slang, so it feels like a natural extension of that to do what i can to make my written contributions a little less stuffy.

                  point 4: i write professionally all day, every day. getting a bit fruity with word choices and giving up on some formalities i don't particularly care for helps me feel like i'm clocking off when i pick fights on social media.

                  point 5: ozbargain seems to have a large contingent of the type of people who are obsessed with rules and norms. being able to annoy those sorts of people is one of the key reasons i keep on going in life. also, this site sometimes feels like a bastion of the 'old internet' which had a narrower band of users with a very 'in group' way of communicating.

                  i don't have anything against those who stick to caps mind you! it's just not something that bothers me. you might find it liberating!

                  • ajm07 on 12/03/2023 - 23:42
                    +1

                    @jrowls: Haha that's a solid response, good to have that insight.

                    Now I'm trying to draw analogies with other people who clock off and throw their work etiquette to the wind. Like a Woolies shelf stocker, comes home stores the Nutella upside down, the spoons in the bottom drawer. But it's a bad analogy because you follow every other grammatical rule perfectly.

                    I wonder if point 5 is really point 1.

      • deadpoet on 10/03/2023 - 14:33
        +1

        Amen to that, good post.

        Another thing that should be pointed out is that a lot of older apartments (from the 1970s, 80s) were originally built with only carpet in mind, and have thin slabs and walls. When an owner rips out the carpet and replaces with tiles or floorboards, it becomes an absolute nightmare, the neighbouring units (not just the unit downstairs) can hear every little sound because it's amplified and transmitted across the slab.

        Acoustic underlay/insulation helps, but it still will never be as quiet as actual carpet.

        Also, a lot of owners renovate/replace the floors without approval from strata — they are supposed to get the work approved to ensure that proper acoustic rated underlay is used, but they often cheap out or just skip this entirely.

      • Lunarboogie on 17/03/2023 - 21:09

        Out of curiosity, which complex was this? Canberra has a mixed record when it comes to the construction of apartment towers. I've heard great things about Space and one or two others but these are generally the exception.

        • jrowls on 19/03/2023 - 17:13

          not one of the massive high rise ones. as a general rule, i'd avoid anything high rise and/or built by geocon lol.

          i think australia's construction and certification industry has proven that it's too dodgy to trust with high rise.

          my apartment was one of the mid-rise ones in braddon, i think it completed in maybe 2014 or 2015? can't say it was perfect as i wasn't an owner or privy to any of those sorta conversations, but it was solid, comfortable, didn't leak, sealed well, and gave us zero issues while we lived there. canberra gets hot af and we only needed to use the aircon a dozen times in two years i reckon.

          the only thing that went wrong in my tenancy there was the induction cooktop cracking to bits but that was my fault lol.

  • lostgoat on 08/03/2023 - 20:08
    +1

    Have a shower the night before . Walk out in your socks . Tell the neighbour to use some white noice. The bold tactic the only thing I believe in .

    • Tee Rex Arms on 08/03/2023 - 20:23
      +33

      Noice. lol

      • Bafranz on 08/03/2023 - 21:13
        +1

        Give 'em a break.. it's still all white

    • CheapandUsed on 09/03/2023 - 08:29
      +10

      White noice

      Even my wife complains if I watch Kath & Kim too loud

    • TerryJustTerry on 09/03/2023 - 15:42
      +3
      • maybe put car in neutral and push car till end of street so they dont hear it start…. / s
    • whatwasherproblem on 08/03/2023 - 20:15
      +1

      Steam triggers your fire alarm?

      Yeah, I believe it. I mean, I've never actually seen it first-person, but I've seen plenty of apartments and motels that have massive signs in their bathrooms about how the window has to be cranked if you plan on running a hot shower. There's probably some interesting stories.

      • [Deactivated] on 08/03/2023 - 20:37
        +3

        Where i used to work there was a kettle that wouldn't shut itself off in the break room, one day the deaf mechanic had morning tea later than everyone else. Obviously he couldn't hear the kettle boiling and eventually it set the alarm off. cue the evacuation of the parts and service departments, fire brigade rocking up and having to clear the scene, then everyone back to work after 30-40 minutes. The non emergency callout fee was a wake up call to buy a new kettle.

        • EightImmortals on 09/03/2023 - 08:37
          +2

          Is that because the kettle burned dry and started smoking?

          • [Deactivated] on 09/03/2023 - 10:31

            @EightImmortals: no, luckily he filled it before boiling.

    • 2025 on 09/03/2023 - 17:13

      Steam triggers your fire alarm?

      Yes. Photoelectric and ionisation smoke alarms may do this with steam. Blame physics.

  • TEER3X on 08/03/2023 - 20:10
    +67

    Tape some ear plugs to her door, with a note saying "you're welcome"

  • Gervais fanboy on 08/03/2023 - 20:11
    +60

    That evening, I bought bucket and started bucket bath in the morning to prevent sound of shower tap.

    I wish I was half the person that you are, lol you couldn’t pay me to do something like that.
    Especially for a Karen like that…

    • AustriaBargain on 08/03/2023 - 20:18

      I might do it passively aggressively if I was engaged in some mind game war with them, but how would they even know, and how would that play even hurt them actually if it made less noise instead of more.

  • iNeed2Pee on 08/03/2023 - 20:13
    +4

    Legit, tell your neighbour to get …….

    People live. People exist.

  • [Deactivated] on 08/03/2023 - 20:15
    +30

    Buy a pack of foam ear plugs and print a note “Nothing we can do further. Sincerely, Real Estate”. Put it onto their mailbox.

  • Motek Benzona on 08/03/2023 - 20:16
    +12

    Omg.

    How is this even a question?

    Tell them to get stuffed and actually make extra noise in the morning..this moaning idiot deserves no mercy

    Sheesh

  • SBOB on 08/03/2023 - 20:24
    +9

    or she’s complaining neighbour.

    this one

    I'd actually ramp up my early morning noise out of spite :)

  • Tee Rex Arms on 08/03/2023 - 20:24
    +2

    Wasn’t there some punter who posted the other day about gaming until the early hours with full volume and no headphones. Wonder how old mate would go in this apartment block.

    • mskeggs on 08/03/2023 - 21:23

      Perhaps he is leaving notes about early risers disturbing his sleepin?

  • RotundPolarBear on 08/03/2023 - 20:29
    +5

    Your neighbour sounds nuts.

  • Godric on 08/03/2023 - 20:31
    +2

    Start cooking in the mornings too, add some fun kitchen noise into the mix

    • xrayed giraffe on 10/03/2023 - 09:53
      +2

      Are there any bargains for industrial- strength kitchen blenders atm?

  • Austaurean on 08/03/2023 - 20:37
    +3

    Reasonable normal incidence of living noises are not excess noise..

    you are fine as long as what you said here is true..

    but yes, its good to be a good neighbour by trying to be reasonably quiet in the early morning and late evening

  • TheMindsetTraveller on 08/03/2023 - 20:42
    +4

    Neighbour is a Karen.

  • MS Paint on 08/03/2023 - 20:51
    +4

    Stories like this make me so happy that my neighbour is 1km away

  • ModdySwag on 08/03/2023 - 20:51
    +17

    Buy a rotary engined car and warm that engine up every morning for at least 10 minutes 🗣️

    • Nugs on 08/03/2023 - 21:19
      +2

      Brap brap brap
      .

    • AMLagonda on 12/03/2023 - 02:17

      Harley Davidson bike :o

  • Gervais fanboy on 08/03/2023 - 20:53
    +9

    She seems like the person that’s completely miserable and owns a bunch of cats.

    • smartazz104 on 11/03/2023 - 07:27
      +1

      Maybe if she had some cats their noise would drown out all the other noises that keep her up at night.

  • JimmyF on 08/03/2023 - 20:57
    +16

    I have seen the same neighbour leaving note on other units on lower floor

    Ok, so they are the problem then as they appear to complain about EVERYTHING.

    What can be the solution of this?

    I think its safe to start ignoring them, as it sounds like this person can't be pleased. If they seriously don't like the sounds of other people around them, they should move out of a block of units. So start leaving their notes in place on your door, removing them knowing you have read it and seen their 'message'. They might get the hint to stop leaving them then.

    If there is a body corp, maybe raise the issue of 'notes' being placed around the complex not from the body corp and have them address it. I'm sure all the other units are sick of it as well and would support a change to stop it.

  • tallkid123 on 08/03/2023 - 21:05
    +5

    What can be the solution of this? Should I talk with her?

    No. She should talk with you. She needs to deal with these things upfront in a respectful manner. It'll also give you a chance to tell her what you've done to rectify her problem. You'll determine very quickly if she is a true Karen or somewhat reasonable (unlikely).

    The note thing becomes comical after awhile.

    I had to tell my new neighbours last month to turn down their subwoofer because the base goes straight through our shared wall. And they'd only moved in the day before. No problems since then.

    • mskeggs on 08/03/2023 - 21:26
      +2

      This is good advice.
      I’m sure those neighbours thought their speaker was not unduly disturbing, but when somebody nicely told them it was, they tried to fix the problem.

      • tallkid123 on 08/03/2023 - 23:01
        +2

        I'm a big (6'4) brown man. My neighbours are two single women.

        I had to plead with them gently to appear less naturally threatening.

        • EightImmortals on 09/03/2023 - 08:40
          +7

          What happened next?
          I think I've seen that movie.

          • tallkid123 on 09/03/2023 - 12:13
            +10

            @EightImmortals: Well, the other neighbour knocked on my door and asked if I could help get her friend unstuck from her washing machine.

            But I had to decline as my stepmother and stepsister were coming over to help me build my new bed…

  • JIMB0 on 08/03/2023 - 21:09
    -3

    Troll post for sure.

    • mskeggs on 08/03/2023 - 21:24
      +5

      Bucket bath was too much?

    • bygones on 08/03/2023 - 21:48
      +6

      I wish this would be.
      Unfortunately, the fear of leaving for work everyday thinking "Will it make sound ?" is different. Also, She had already rang my real-estate asking them to repair my bathroom - I am afraid if she rings them again, and RealEstate would get chance to not renew my contract after 4 months siting this, so that they can rent again in higher price.

      • WhyAmICommenting on 09/03/2023 - 01:37

        Real estate might block her after a while, unless they manage her unit too?

      • JIMB0 on 09/03/2023 - 05:09
        +8

        Just hand the notes back to her and say "sorry no english".

      • Porker on 09/03/2023 - 09:59
        +5

        Realestate Agents can also recognise problem neighbours too - it's not always the tenants fault.

        • Thrawn on 09/03/2023 - 10:54
          +3

          and if you're not complaining to the agent about the neighbour they'd be happier to keep you in there than taking a risk with a new tenant that starts a real war and then causes issues in the body corporate. The last tenant probably left because of the neighbour

    • smartazz104 on 11/03/2023 - 07:28

      No but yours is a troll comment.

  • 7ekn00 on 08/03/2023 - 21:16
    +3

    Buy earplugs, leave at door with a note "solved all your issue, you are welcome" ;)

  • djoz on 08/03/2023 - 21:26
    +11

    I honestly wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow she puts put a note saying 'Dont post details on OzBargain'

    This is going way too far!

  • bygones on 08/03/2023 - 21:40
    +20

    Thank you everyone for your comment.

    This time, I'll ignore her like before. But if she complains again, I'll surely give her ear plugs, I like this idea. :)

    • whiskeyjack89 on 10/03/2023 - 09:46
      +1

      Yeah, you're doing more than enough really - it sounds like she probably shouldn't be living in an apartment

  • Some Human on 08/03/2023 - 22:20
    +11

    My neighbour wanted me to cut down a 5 story tree, then complained it made too much noise when it got cut down.

    Some people are just buttholes.
    I commend your efforts to keep quiet, but this neighbour sounds like an unreasonable douche. You have been beyond courteous to them and it has made no impact, so I suggest making more noise to let them see how good they had it with you before they pushed too far.

    • pharkurnell on 09/03/2023 - 16:04

      Some people are just buttholes.

      Turn off the internet, we have a winner.

  • pegaxs on 08/03/2023 - 22:23
    +14

    Oh, I love your neighbour… I would do her head in with the shit I would be pulling.

    I would be setting my Google home to say random shit during the day, playing loud cricket noises all day while I wasn’t there. Dog barking noises that kinda thing. Sound of a shower running allllllll day on the Google home speaker.

  • bobbified on 08/03/2023 - 22:24
    +4

    Is she hot? Ask her if she wants to shower together to save water.

    (If not, tell her to piss off! But I do think it's worth letting her know that you realise it might be noisy and you've been putting some effort to "keep the noise down". But it's really not your fault that the walls etc are shit).

    • plmko on 09/03/2023 - 03:19
      +6

      There's this saying about never start sticking things into crazy….

      • Antikythera on 10/03/2023 - 18:28

        also about not shitting where you sleep

  • Benoffie on 08/03/2023 - 22:26
    +3

    Mate, there's no way on earth I'd pommie wash to keep a neighbour happy!

    Your neighbour needs to invest in earplugs. All for notes if you're rockin the doof music at 5am but footsteps and showering!?

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