Humans Getting Too Close in Public. Is It Loneliness?

I often catch the train home late at night. With COVID and flu about I make the effort of walking all the way to the end of the platform to get a less crowded carriage. Those carriages are usually empty. Then a person gets onto the carriage and out of all the available empty seats decides to sit next or very near to me. I'm wearing a mask and I stand up and walk away like they have a bad smell. This has happened on multiple occasions and I've noticed is usually a female.

Also on empty train platforms I've been sitting minding my own business then someone comes along and out of all the empty seats along the platform to choose from sits next to me, sometimes talking loudly on the phone. So I walk away again.

Today, I was standing on the street eating Hungry Jacks fries when they were still hot. I chose an out of the way place as I'd taken off my mask to eat. Then this family group walk by and out of all the open space available on the street decide to stop near me. So I walked away.

A friend makes an effort at carparks to drive to a far off empty spot so that people don't park nearby and scratch the car. Yet, quite often someone parks next to the car even though there are so many empty spaces to choose from.

My friend says it's because I don't look threatening. However, it has happened so often that I think that there's some human instinct not to be lonely. Or it's some herd mentality and people really are sheeple. What do you think is happening?

Comments

  • +20

    Yeah I just guess you look safe. My pet peeve is when you pick a toilet cubicle to take a dump in and someone sits right next to you when there’s many still available across and around

    • +3

      The ones who look safe are the most dangerous! Oprah taught me that kids at parks are on the lookout for strangers who looked dangerous but the dangerous ones are actually the predators who are nice to the kids.

    • +6

      That's sh*t luck for ya

    • +6

      Or for the guys, when you're pissing at the urinal and someone comes and stands right next to you to piss. Buddy, get back your 10. Are you here to piss or look for a sword fight?

    • +4

      goes against all toilet office etiquette, especially when they don't wait their turn to unload last nights curry.

      Equally as stupid when some picks cubicle 2 out of 3 vacant ones when they are empty, as its a 100% hit rate if someone comes in for a dump as well

    • Itachi in Naruto taught us that every technique has a weakness. Turns out that jutsu's such as Earth Style If You Don't Know What to Do Then Do a Number 2, Water Style If You Need to Flee then Do a Wee, and Wind Style If You Need to Depart then Do a Fart don't work in the toilet cubicle.

  • +9

    think you're looking a bit too much into it

  • +10

    Was in an empty movie theatre one time - just me and my mate. This guy comes in after the movie starts and no joke sits down right next to my mate. Took about 30 seconds for my mate to tell the guy to "F*** off!". Guy gets up and leaves the theatre not to return. I mean what the actual F?

    • +4

      Bro not cool. Would you do the same to a hot girl

      • +8

        Yes.

        Hot girls do not randomly approach people that look like me so I assume they are going to try rob me after putting in a bit of flattery and batting their eyelids.

        I was in Beijing one time and two hot chicks approached me wanting to practice their English. I guessed straight away it was dodgy and it turns out I was right. The common scam is that they take you to a bar, get you drunk and then present you with a massively inflated bill at the end of the night.

        • +2

          Yep like you didn’t want to present them with something inflated hey

    • +1

      Had similar, but I'm guessing you were sitting in the sweet spot in the cinema, eg centre of row, one third from the front?

  • +4

    If you want them to depart, just do a ……
    If you want them to flee, just ….
    If you want them to shoo, just …

    • +6

      I don't have enough poo or wee in me. I should wear a warning sign and in that way can conserve ammunition.

      • +1

        Fedora and a beard would work wonders

  • Trains: maybe for safety reasons.

    HJs: no idea. Maybe poor family hopes you will help feed their kids.

    Car parks: maybe people thought it was one of those meet ups where you look at someone doing stuff in their car. Who knows. Do you drive a bog standard white Camry (council fleet car color? Or a Bugatti Veyron)

    Maybe I don't really think all 3 are related.

  • +15

    Are you wearing Lynx body spray by any chance?

  • +4

    I think the majority of people just don't think about anyone but themselves. They also feel the need to be close to others.

    Ever parked your car in an empty carpark? Maybe you parked in the middle, or right out at the edge far away from the entrance to the shop. Guaranteed when you get back out of the shop somebody has parked next to your car. Maybe it's the only other car in the entire lot, but they decided to park next to you.

    Anyway - the fact you want to distance yourself from others puts you in a tiny minority of independent thinkers.

  • +2

    Maybe you choose the most instinctual or natural place to sit/stand. People tend to have subconscious preference for where they place themselves in a space.

  • Humans Getting Too Close in Public. Is It Loneliness?

    Magnetism is the symptom.

    Cause unknown.

  • +2

    I read your post as a cry for help and DIY assistance on "I want to look threatening"

    lol

    • +1

      I will practice baring my teeth at people from under my mask lol

  • +1

    Some people lack spatial awareness skills.

  • +2

    Are these other people also wearing masks?

    As a mask wearer I would rather sit/stand closer to someone also wearing a mask than sit/stand in isolation where a non masked could join me.

    Though, I would probably still pick somewhere where there’s decent distance between us.

    • +1

      Most of the time no. This one time this chubby lady sat next to me on the platform holding out her phone for a loud video chat without a mask on. Just came over and sat next to me on a completely empty platform.

      A lot of people don't wear masks on public transport anymore. I just hope that their lack of caution results in them catching the latest variant of COVID early on and being neutralised as a threat that way whether they like it or not.

      • +3

        I just hope that their lack of caution results in them catching the latest variant of COVID early on and being neutralised as a threat that way whether they like it or not.

        Yes, because if someone isn't "sufficiently cautious" according to your standard, then they deserve to get COVID because they are "neutralised" as a threat?

        How does this make any sense - a threat to whom exactly? By your logic, everyone should be infected except for you so they are all "neutralised"? Why don't you expose yourself so that you're "neutralised" for everyone else?

        FWIW, I'm not an anti-mask / anti-vax crazy. In fact, I wear a mask on public transport, with the entire intent being to minimise spread so that as a society we have less spread. Isn't the whole point of wearing a mask to help others from not catching COVID? You sound so confused, twisting logic into a pretzel to get the outcome that you want.

        • +1

          I guess I read "neutralised" in a much darker connotation than you did and found catboy's post entertaining in a macabre way.

  • What do you think is happening?

    Have you been 'vabbing'? lol

    • +2

      Omg no don’t 😂

      • haha. You obviously already know what it is! I'd just heard of that term for the first time over the weekend! (I can't decide whether it's funny or not! lol)

    • +2

      omg I cannot unsee Chlorine drops into eyes

      • +1

        BUT… can you unsmell?

        • +1

          Oh to pray for the swift mercy of COVID induced smell loss.

    • Sounds like they need to switch to asbbing

  • +1

    You should practice what your preach

    If you don't know what to do in this situation just do a sh*t as you say, could be in the tram or on the train platform or you can even try standing while eating fries.!! Problem solved.

    Looks like we just found Pam MK2

    • Plays the poo card haha

    • I should wear a warning sign that says may poop, wee, or fart if you get too close. Then in that way I can conserve ammunition as I only have a limited supply.

  • +1

    Reminds me of the robots huddled in the container on iRobot…

  • So I take it you're not a people person?

  • +2

    If you are that anxious, go get vaccinated.

    And if you are already vaccinated, do you not trust the science?

    • I suspect vaccines are close to useless with the current covid strain

  • +3

    Its an unconcious flocking mechanism. It runs at a low enough level that most people are not aware of it. You see it a lot in the elderly as their brains deteriorate, which is why they do things like stand next to other people's trolleys, blissfully unaware they are blocking the isle.

    My friend says it's because I don't look threatening

    You probably look so nonthreatening that they don't even see you. You're part of the background, like a tree or a garbage bin.

  • +2

    they are thinking what's the odds of two serial killers sitting near each other……

  • +1

    Not sure what the point of your post is, public transport is public, meaning that it is shared with other people. If you don't like being around other people, you can always choose to live on an acreage in the outback where you'll never have to see anybody else ever again.

  • if you wear a shirt
    @ieatslikeacat
    ozbargain

    I'm sure no one will sit next to you

    might get wacked in the head though

    or @slavOz shirt

  • just start mumbling violent phrases to yourself.

  • +1

    Today, I was standing on the street eating Hungry Jacks fries when they were still hot.

    story just lost all credibility… HJ's chips are never hot enough to last getting out the door lol

  • +2

    You know, this is so true.
    Even before covid, whenever I sat on the train seats furthest away from people, some smelly person always comes and sits right next to me! Why, oh why do smelly people always come and sit next to me? It's pretty bad in Summer. I'm thankful for masks now. I'm still wearing mine.

  • Instead of eating like a cat, maybe you should start washing yourself like a cat.

  • +3

    OP, this is definitely a thing. 90℅ of people don't notice it and just say "you're overthinking it", but it happens all the time. Another instance is when I'm looking at an item in a shop, no one around at all, someone moves close to me almost like they want to push me out of the way to see the item!
    It's fairly consistent, cause I have my wife observe from afar. The stranger clearly had no intention of observing the item before entering the store, but I figure people have an interest in what I'm looking at.

  • +1

    ms paint situational drawing or it didn't happen 😂

  • +1

    This happens to me too. It really irritates me. I always go to the least populated spots. I like social distancing! I have thought that maybe I should start coughing and they'll move away……

  • +1

    So how do I reject people who tries to handshake me? This is a Q that's bothering me because I have to wash my hands after.

    • Elbow tag only. At a safe distance of course.

    • Same, I avoided hand shaking even before the COVID pandemic. At least with COVID about I have a perfect excuse not to shake hands. I don't even fist bump or elbow tag. I explain that I need to socially distance and I wave. If I have to shake hands I don't a sink nearby I have a small bottle of hand sanitiser in my pocket and I very quickly use it.

  • +1

    If on the bus with an empty seat next to me, I find muttering to myself as people come down the aisle helps keep the seat to myself.

  • I should try clearing my throat and say the following to the person who just sat down next to me, "Have you heard of the word of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"

  • +1

    Plot twist: OP is Bruce Willis' character from The Sixth Sense.

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