Should My Mom Stay in an Apartment with Me for 2-3+ Months?

Ljackking on 09/07/2022 - 03:25
Last edited 12/07/2022 - 14:25 by 2 other users

First post, would appreciate help with a family situation:

Quick Context - I am 26 M living in an Apartment in CBD. My Mom in another state wants to move to CBD to be closer to me and for better job opportunities. She was offered a job in CBD which starts in a few weeks. Before she can commit to CBD, she wants to try out living with me in my apartment for 2-3 months to see if she likes her new job and the new city. I instead suggested she should try AirBnb or Hotel, for which I am more than happy to pay for however long she needs. She was quite offended by the idea and said I should not waste the money.

I feel like a 45sqm apartment is too small for both of us, considering one of us will have to sleep on the sofa bed (probably me lol). I also have a GF who sleeps over 90% of the time at my place (she lives far from CBD and I have no WFH). My mom does not know about her as it is too soon and I come from traditional background so not sure what she would think about me sleeping over at her place. I have a relatively high-stress finance job where I come back from work avg 11 pm-2am and the last thing I need is unnecessary stress and ruin relationship with my mom. I value my independence and I have also not lived with my parents since the age of 18. Am I being unreasonable and a dick of a son? Am I selfish to think this has become a bit of a nightmare for my personal freedom?

Poll - Do you all think this is a good idea/ reasonable? Should My Mom Stay in an apartment with Me for 2-3+ Months?

Home & Garden

closed Comments

    • Willy Beamish on 09/07/2022 - 22:07
      +4

      Kids these days don't care.

      I've seen so much of the entitlement and selfishness of it all during the feb/march floods doing support work. People would rather stick their elderly family in a recovery centre than have the inconvenience of them staying in their home because it's just not "convenient" for them. People are disgustingly soft and selfish these days it's pathetic.

      • onesandtwos on 10/07/2022 - 11:35
        +8

        Right, but this is not sticking an elderly parent in a recovery centre, and a studio apartment is not really an ideal living situation for potentially 3 grown adults. His mum wants to impose her own ideas about how this arrangement will look like (although she does so without knowledge of the gf), and feels entitled to staying there. I'm not passing judgement about her entitlement, but I don't think that aspect should be ignored either, seeing as she doesn't appear to have much flexibility.

    • michaelTito on 10/07/2022 - 00:23
      +1

      someone downvoted you. I guess its the GF.

      • WillKillfor5Cents on 11/07/2022 - 13:58

        he got 3 GFs? No wonder he doesn't want mum to find out LOL

  • lunartemis on 09/07/2022 - 20:50

    Are you from Asian background?

    • lgacb08 on 11/07/2022 - 16:47
      -1

      Yes, definitely among the few Asian countries that copycat everything American ways and assume the rest of the world is speaking American, not English.

  • cookie2 on 09/07/2022 - 21:16

    You already know what you want but feel pressured. You're concerns and reasons make sense. Just explain some to your mum and again offer the air bnb.

  • Aap Ke Papa on 09/07/2022 - 22:25
    +1

    It's your own mother ffs. what is wrong with people?

    • IM-Cheap on 09/07/2022 - 23:46
      +12

      And he offered to pay for a place for her to stay so she doesn't need to sign a lease right away.

      He lives in a STUDIO, even if he didnt have a girlfriend he would have no privacy for himself while she was there. I'd understand telling him to just put up with it for 2wks but 2-3mths thats pretty unreasonable.

      • michaelTito on 10/07/2022 - 00:26
        +1

        if you can live in her stomach for 9 months you can share a studio apartment with her for 3 months. this is the least you can do for you own mum.

        • IM-Cheap on 10/07/2022 - 04:11
          +6

          Not when he offered to pay for a place for her to live which some people seem to be ignoring. Can you explain what you find so offensive about finding her a place and paying for it for her vs letting her live at his place?

          Your reasoning here doesn't stack with me. Parents shouldn't expect their kids to owe them. Its a choice we make to be parents - children don't have the choice to be born.

          • pompompom on 10/07/2022 - 11:07
            +1

            @IM-Cheap: Quite sad to see how many ppl here lack the decency to treat their parents like humans or with common respect and think that they don't owe them anything "because it was their choice to have kids". Just sad …and these are probably the same ppl whose parents will end up in third rate dump old homes.
            I always like to think of it like this… one day it's going to be you in their shoes and will be dumped into an Airbnb or an old home when you expect a bit of support.

            • avoidfullprice on 10/07/2022 - 14:56

              @pompompom:

              lack the decency to treat their parents like humans or with common respect and think that they don't owe them anything

              It is also sad that some people equate son not wanting their mum to stay at his studio constitute being disrespectful. OP offered to house her in a rental, not being homeless. Let me quote that for you:

              I instead suggested she should try AirBnb or Hotel, for which I am more than happy to pay for however long she needs. She was quite offended by the idea and said I should not waste the money

              Just sad people like you read the title of the post and reply with inconsiderate comment. Just sad

              • pompompom on 10/07/2022 - 15:00
                +3

                @avoidfullprice: It is inconsiderate. She has a job, and if she wanted she could have gotten a rental herself. Paying money to make your parents problems go away, and not even tolerating thier presence because a short term girlfriend staying over takes preference is nothing but inconsiderate. His mom probably wanted to stay over because she wanted to spend time with her son or might have been lonely.
                And as I mentioned these are probably the same ppl who dump their parents in budget old homes because they can't be bothered to adjust their life by an inch for someone else.

        • holdenmg on 10/07/2022 - 08:41
          +6

          People don't live/grow in a Stomach…

        • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:23

          Well, whose fault was it he was there in the first place…

        • idonotknowwhy on 10/07/2022 - 22:39

          He didn't choose to be born

  • DragoBoyz on 09/07/2022 - 22:41
    +1

    To me the obvious answer is to put on a brave face and at least try or look like you're trying to make it work. If it is as horrible as you think it's gonna be it will become obvious quick and then you can start figuring out other options. It might be completely fine.

    We don't know you or your mother. We don't know what your house looks like either.

    Your mum had you in her house for who knows how long. Suck it up and at least try to look like you're grateful for that come on it's basic manners.

  • Ozjonno on 10/07/2022 - 00:08
    +6

    as long as both your arms aren't broken im sure it'll be ok

    • michaelTito on 10/07/2022 - 00:27
      +4

      IF his arms are broken im sure he will be living in his Mum's studio apartment. I doubt she will come on ozbargain asking if she should let him stay or not.

    • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:24

      Damn, Reddit leaking again.

  • paloverde88 on 10/07/2022 - 00:31
    -5

    Back when mom was your age a see2deo is not only a place to sleep eat and shower, it's also a guest house, a showroom, a parking spot and an ideal place to house a full size greyhound and raise 3 children. Nowthedays youngsters called mulluniums expect see2deo no more than a place to sleep and eat only. How extravagance!

    • Nillionaire on 10/07/2022 - 00:46
      +1

      see2deo

      🤔 Studio?

    • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:24

      Basic spelling isn't an extravegance.

    • Dreamcast on 10/07/2022 - 20:10
      +4

      I need to bleach my eyes after reading that.

    • idonotknowwhy on 10/07/2022 - 22:41

      what are you on?

  • centrelink on 10/07/2022 - 00:36

    Definite NO. I can't stand living with in-laws and the same goes for living with my own parents. If it were me, I probably just ignore my mum and pretend she doesnt exist.

  • Commander Shepard on 10/07/2022 - 00:41
    +2

    Just be transparent and honest. And let her know that your seeing someone. It might go both ways. She might also not feel comfortable moving in.

    Perhaps come up with some rules and maybe plan to do 1 month?
    Or just get her over for the weekend and she might realize it wont work.

  • trapper on 10/07/2022 - 01:09
    +4

    If you were single maybe… for a few weeks… at a stretch.

    But you have a girlfriend who stays over often. And a 45sqm studio is certainly no place for you, mum, and the girlfriend.

    It's time to come clean with mum and tell her about your girlfriend and living situation. You're a big boy now and need your privacy, mum can stay in the Airbnb.

  • daclaw on 10/07/2022 - 01:27
    +3

    Move in to a bigger place with the gf and split bills for a few months to see if she's a freeloader or not

  • EightImmortals on 10/07/2022 - 07:50
    +3

    We don't have moms in Australia, we have 'mums'. Or have they been cancelled too?

    • meong on 10/07/2022 - 09:30

      What is really the obsession about a specific spelling mistake that just sounds American?

      There are many spelling/grammar mistakes all over the forum that people have been more accepting than this

      • EightImmortals on 10/07/2022 - 10:26
        +4

        It's not a spelling mistake, it the use of a term that is relevant to another country on the other side of the world. Am I the only one who's lamenting the loss of our cultural uniqueness over the last few decades? Fair dinkum!

        • cookie2 on 10/07/2022 - 11:38

          I grew up i Aus and I grew up calling my mum Mumma. Does this make it irrelevant to Australia? Ffs people do need to stop nitpicking. If you can be whatever gender you want then I think it's pretty basic to figure out that you can call a parent whatever the hell you want or is normal to you.

        • meong on 10/07/2022 - 13:59

          If you think a simple spelling mistake is a sign of cultural loss then you probably need to get out of the house often… Or maybe travel the world a bit more.

        • eug on 10/07/2022 - 23:09
          +2

          It's not a spelling mistake, it the use of a term that is relevant to another country on the other side of the world. Am I the only one who's lamenting the loss of our cultural uniqueness over the last few decades?

          Well, some people here pick their online name based on cultural mythology that is relevant to another country in another part of the world… :)

  • gimme on 10/07/2022 - 09:19

    Depends on the person. I'd let my mum stay indefinitely but my old man no more than 2 days.

  • Thatsgold on 10/07/2022 - 09:49

    This woman carried you for 9 months, yet you can't help her live with you for 2-3 months?
    I truly feel sorry for your mum, i don't think shes offended, she is probably really hurt to have a kid like you.

    • akyeeeahdude on 10/07/2022 - 10:29
      +9

      I think you need to realise that all mums aren't necessarily the same as your mum in terms of how they treat their children and how they act. I had a situation awhile back where my mum said she wanted to come and stay with my wife and I whilst she decided on what house/unit she wanted to buy. When she asked, she said a few weeks and then before I responded, she said it could be a few months but no longer than a year. Based on how she has treated myself and my wife, at times, in the past, I had to say no. Whilst I may have been able to withstand the poor treatment, I genuinely believe it would've caused my wife to leave and I wouldn't begrudge her for that doing that. Not to mention, it was at the height of COVID, so I was working from home each day, my wife was attending uni from home remotely and my Mum would've been working from home as well. In other words, we would've been together 24/7 and it would've caused immense stress.

      I'll give you an example of how complicated family relationships are - when I was 19, I wanted to buy a car and was planning to get a loan. As I was working 30+ hours a week and attending uni full time, my Mum offered to buy me a car, which I kept declining but as she was quite insistant, I reluctantly agreed. I found a used car I liked but because my Mum didn't like my choice, she refused to buy it for me (which I didn't really mind anyway). So I thanked her and said I'd get a loan which resulted in her getting extremely angry at me and threatening to not speak to me or come to my wedding (I was engaged at the time) and because I didn't go along with her way, she didn't come to my wedding and also refused to speak to me for over 2 years. Ironic that myself being the child was the bigger person and always was happy to forgive when I'd cop the brunt of these blow ups (I'm 35 now and have been subjected to quite a few blow ups since).

      TLDR - Don't judge the OP as there may be quite a lot of info that they understandably haven't shared with us.

      • [Deactivated] on 10/07/2022 - 20:14
        -3

        The guys Asian I think, don't often come across Asian mums who are bad to their kids.

    • l2p10 on 10/07/2022 - 10:53
      -6

      Whoever negged you is sick. This is how sad our society has became, people only think about themselves

      I'm a new parent myself. Most people have no idea how much works there are to raise up a kid. If anything it has made me appreciate my parents even more.

      The problem is here is OP did not come clean about his new gf. OP's mum may otherwise not suggest that. But at the end of the day, it is the least you can do.

      • avoidfullprice on 10/07/2022 - 11:30
        +3

        I'm a new parent myself. Most people have no idea how much works there are to raise up a kid.

        Good to see you becoming a new parent qualifies you to assert most people are ignorant.

        Not everyone can be you, who can raise a kid in a studio and happily let your mum stay temporarily for 2-3 months while she works during the day. She must love her grandkid waking her up during the night. Boy, doesn’t that bring back memory raising you.

        I didn't neg that post, but find your response lack awareness of OP’s situation and just make him out like an inconsiderate son.

        • l2p10 on 10/07/2022 - 11:55
          -2

          Well when did I ever said I raised my kid in a studio and my mum came and stay with me?

          You are the ignorant one for not reading my post properly. And it wasn't a long one.

          If you can't stand her or help her for 2 to 3 months while she raised you up for years, then my friend you are part of the corrupting society where everything is about yourself.

          • slipperypete on 11/07/2022 - 16:34
            +1

            @l2p10: curious…what culture are you from?

            There isn't a right or wrong in this and your comments are very narrow minded. Probably cultural specific.

            I was kicked out of home at 17….not in a bad way but my parents wanted their space back and I had my own income.

            We regularly stayed with each other at times over the decades but never outweighed our welcome. It was a very honest relationship

            everyone is different. doesn't change our love and neither felt it was a duty

      • cookie2 on 10/07/2022 - 11:41

        So enlightened and well on your way to martyrdom.

      • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:27
        +3

        Most people have no idea how much works there are to raise up a kid

        Oh don't worry, once people become parents they make sure to tell everyone about it, whilst also telling people they should have a kid too.

      • [Deactivated] on 11/07/2022 - 07:55
        +3

        It's a lot of work. After you take care of them, they owe you a life of servitude. Why else would anyone have kids than to have culturally acceptable legal slaves?

      • samfisher5986 on 11/07/2022 - 15:16
        +1

        If your plan is to have kids where you will guilt them into things when they get older.. you are not fit to be a parent and you are selfish.

        You don't ask to be born, the parents force it upon you.

    • Pub Envelope on 10/07/2022 - 11:35
      +8

      carried you for 9 months.

      Ahh, the Mothers 'Ace' card

    • [Deactivated] on 10/07/2022 - 12:31
      +1

      Yeah not sure what the big deal is, it's only 2-3 months. It's your mother for God's sake.

      • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:28
        +2

        Why would it take 3 months to figure out how it is to live in Sydney? Two weeks max.

    • morse on 10/07/2022 - 16:06
      +10

      I always find this attitude strange ie that your kids owe you something for being born. They don’t have a choice in the matter. I had my son because I wanted to knowing the hard work it would involve. I’ll miss it when I’m not his entire world but also know that is normal. There’s no expectation that he’ll provide for me in the future.

      • Eeples on 10/07/2022 - 18:05
        +5

        There is a view in many cultures explicit or implicit that you have kids so that they can look after you in your old age.

      • trapper on 11/07/2022 - 12:05

        The only thing your kids owe you is grandkids, then their debt is paid. :)

  • Poor Ass on 10/07/2022 - 10:10

    Airbnb is freaking expensive last time I checked

  • weezlebub on 10/07/2022 - 10:33
    +1

    it sounds like the biggest issue is the new girlfriend - if it weren't for her, then you'd have no problems having your mum move in …

    maybe the question is, do you want to progress things with the girlfriend?

    you could take a different perspective and look at when your lease runs out and move to a bigger place (if the timing works out) or find another place to move in with your girlfriend - it sounds like your job would pay quite well, the girlfriend works as well, the two of you could get a place together and your mother is just starting out in sydney and probably needs something cheaper like your 45sqm unit

  • MrThing on 10/07/2022 - 10:38

    let her stay and have so much loud sex with your gf that she leaves

    • smartazz104 on 10/07/2022 - 16:29

      I bet mum would take the bed, I mean OP couldn't ask her to sleep on the couch could he.

  • DemocracyManifest on 10/07/2022 - 10:44

    Studios are small af. Also if you are renting it could be an issue if its obvious 3 people are in the box. Also evidently you are sexually active…i think you can answer this question

  • carlitos on 10/07/2022 - 10:48
    +1

    I think the catch here is the relationship which you need to be up front about. As your relationship (and intimacy) will take a hit over those months. If it wasn't for this then I would say its a reasonable request.

  • Seraphin7 on 10/07/2022 - 10:51

    Would rather poke my own eyes out with a sharp stick.

    YMMV

  • gromit on 10/07/2022 - 11:12
    +5

    If it was my mother the risk would be simply too great of me ending up in prison for homicide or I would top myself. A can't imagine sharing a studio with anyone but my partner even for only a few months. Perhaps your relationship with your mum is good enough to withstand that, but given you hide your current relationship from her I doubt it.

  • Pub Envelope on 10/07/2022 - 11:26
    +1

    If she's your Step-Mom, then yes, yes she can stay.

  • hasher22 on 10/07/2022 - 11:30

    Logical: no. It's not healthy in the sense of 2 to 3 people in a studio. Consider the disruptions, noise, compromises you have to deal with, both of you. Will you get a good night's rest?

    Can you find another place while she's at your place and she pays the rent? And you use those funds to find somewhere else for the interim while still visiting your studio

    Emotional: depends on your relationship with your mother. I mean, for me 2 to 3 months is a long time and it would hell! I can only handle my own mother in small doses. When I mean small, only like 1 hour per day. We don't see eye to eye on alot of things, shes also a drama queen and seeks drama that's why I avoid her and she's a borderline Karen.

    One time at 1pm, sunny afternoon, some kids we're playing loud music on the street having fun, all she needed to do was close the door. Nope, she went out, started yelling at them to turn it down and she threatened to call the police. The kids were funny, they were like "go for it, it's the afternoon lady, go back inside" lol. Funniest thing. But the second hand embarrassment I got was too much. I tried to tell her it's 1pm and it doesn't happen everyday, mind you it happened once in 2 years.

    The question is, do you want to live with her?

  • pe arl on 10/07/2022 - 13:12
    +1

    Personally I don't think it's that much of an ask from someone who's clothed and fed you for 18+ years and would probably do the same for you in a heartbeat, but ultimately it's your choice OP. But if she's hurt by your suggestion that she go to an Airbnb instead, you might perhaps find it awkward to ask for help if you one day find yourself in a sticky spot and need help (financial or otherwise). You never know.

  • thanatos350 on 10/07/2022 - 13:55
    +3

    I live with my girlfriend and become frustrated when I don't get enough space and quiet time to myself. I can't imagine sharing a studio with her, let alone my mother.

    You don't need validation to feel the way that you do, you're a grown man. You're allowed to want your own space.

    I do think that your background will complicate things, though. I have friends from traditional backgrounds who must still answer to their parents despite their age and the thousands of kilometers separating them. It seems really tough to balance your Australian identity with the version of yourself that your mother is familiar with.

  • Vote for Pedro on 10/07/2022 - 14:20
    +7

    I can’t believe the “doesn’t want mum to stay because spends most free time jackking off” line hasn’t been said.

    • bobbified on 10/07/2022 - 14:40
      +2

      because spends most free time jackking off

      OP says he has a gf. If he still needs to spend all his free time jacking off, he needs to find a new one! lol

      • Vote for Pedro on 10/07/2022 - 15:03
        +4

        See OPs name

        • bobbified on 10/07/2022 - 15:03
          +2

          oh.. how did I miss that? lol

    • jackking on 10/07/2022 - 21:06
      +2

      dam i never thought of my user name like that. Mind blown.

      • eug on 10/07/2022 - 23:13
        +1

        Not just your mind. :)

  • bobbified on 10/07/2022 - 14:37
    +1

    My apartment is slightly bigger, but when I was temporarily disabled for a few months, my mum didn't care that I had lots of other friends around to help me out. She dropped everything and flew down to look after me herself. I had another female friend staying at the same time and everyone fit with a temporary setup and we all got along.

    Which part of the asian culture prevents you from telling your mum about your gf? I'm asian too - mum didn't care that I had a female there (and we weren't dating). I've never heard this from any of my other asian friends either. Asian parents tend to be more fussy and everything with dating if you're their daughter. But that's like every other culture.

  • dontboopthesnoot on 10/07/2022 - 16:17

    make some grounds rules and state the period say 3 months max no extensions.

  • [Deactivated] on 10/07/2022 - 16:19
    +1

    She carried you for 9 months, I'm sure it wasn't all that pleasant for her and her body. I'm sure you can put up with 3 months of sharing a room.

    • Vote for Pedro on 11/07/2022 - 10:19
      +3

      If it was that much of burden, why have him?

      I really dislike the ‘think of the sacrifices your parents made for you’ argument.

      If they use that guilt trip to make you feel bad, they shouldn’t have had kids.

      Parents make sacrifices. This is a given. Rubbing that in a childs face is pathetic.

      • trapper on 11/07/2022 - 12:08
        +1

        It's not a sacrifice to have children anyway. The greatest gift I ever had was my kids, I am thankful every day.

  • Eeples on 10/07/2022 - 18:01
    +1

    So, the gf just doesn't come over for 2, 3 months, or more months while his mum is on the scene?

  • 2025 on 10/07/2022 - 19:14
    +3

    If mum uses ozbargain, surely she knows how to press revisions at the top?

    • jackking on 10/07/2022 - 19:48

      Apparently, i am the only one who did not know this. Will ask the Mod to delete the forum if that is allowed

      • MorriJ on 10/07/2022 - 19:59

        Cat is out of the bag I think. No harm if she sees this forum post at the end of the day.

  • jaffar on 10/07/2022 - 20:25
    +1

    Um why did a mod revert all of OP's cover up attempts haha 😂 I don't think we can find a good answer though (too little information). Some cultures will have different expectations on what/how much an adult kid can/should accomodate. For what it's worth I think your viewpoint is more reasonable. For starters, I think coming clean about your current living situation would be a good first step in sorting this out.

    • jackking on 10/07/2022 - 21:07
      +1

      Am i not allowed to delete my own post on Ozbargain? Lol I have been locked from editing it as well.

  • ToasterPhone on 10/07/2022 - 20:41
    +3

    Comments that suggest you should let your mum stay because she 'carried you for 9 months, raised you for x amount of years' is weird, as if you owe her because of choices she made…

    Given the circumstances, the best thing you can do is have an honest conversation with her. If you're uncomfortable and don't want it to happen, then stick with that. I am struggling to adapt to living in place twice your size as one person (because I like space), a second person (especially a family member) would be insanely invasive for me…. and that's not including you hiding your girlfriend in the situation. I would tell my mum, no, sorry, the place is too small. You're both adults. I'm coming from a culture-less family, though…

  • MrFrugalSpend on 10/07/2022 - 20:59
    +8

    DON'T DO IT!

    I know a guy who (at a similar age to OP) let his mum 'temporarily' move in with him after his father died, while the mum was supposed to be looking for a smaller place just for her. He had a girlfriend in first year or so of a serious relationship, but the mum didn't like they were together and actively tried to undermine the relationship (If you come from a 'traditional' background this may happen to you).

    They persevered for quite a while given she was grieving, but eventually it came down to the GF or the mum… the mum was being unreasonable to the GF, told her to leave and that she wasn't good enough for him, various nasty remarks etc. Eventually after like a year, he had to move out of his own place and transferred it to his mum, as she wasn't leaving, and he didn't want to kick her out. He ended up with a serious downgrade of place to get something private.

    He's almost never spoken to his mum again. From being on good enough terms to let her move in, to barely speaking to her again.
    He later married that GF and they had a baby… I don't think they even told the mum about the baby for a few months after it was born. It deteriorated that badly, no issues prior to this arrangement.

    Not to mention - it's a Studio FFS - you don't even have a separate bedroom! It's a no from me.

    PS - This sort of thing is not uncommon when a mum and son's GF are involved - I even read an article about a mum living with her adult son was caught sneaking into her son's room to whisper hate in his girlfriend's ear whilst they slept to freak her out so she'd leave!

  • tonka on 10/07/2022 - 21:29
    -1

    Hopefully your mother has other children that don't feel freaked out when their mother visits. Put up some screens or get an apartment big enough to be able to have your mother visit. You've actually told us you're not at home much anyway with long work hours so what's the problem, this way you may actually get to see her. And if your girlfriend is that serious you can't cope without her sleeping over , than it seems the grown up thing would be to discuss it with your mum.

    • cookie2 on 11/07/2022 - 21:17

      Why does OP need to be grown up? They can be wetf they want. And why does keeping something private and wanting to retain that privacy, mean they're acting like a grown up?

  • Unacceptable on 10/07/2022 - 22:01
    +1

    Your mum has lived with you for 18 years and you’re annoyed about 3 months staying with your mum?

    • fredk1000 on 10/07/2022 - 22:12
      -1

      plus 9 months

  • Torzz on 10/07/2022 - 22:10
    +1

    also offended on your mum's behalf.. the woman gave you life and raised you and you cant give her a couple of months? I hope you dont have any brothers and sisters.. god forbid that when the time comes… their inheritance just doubled..

    • avoidfullprice on 10/07/2022 - 22:22
      +1

      I can imagine a truck load more are offended on your mother’s behalf of all the time you didn’t do as she told from your birth. God forbid you are allowed independent thinking and feelings without offering a suggestion to resolve an issue on a forum. Just unloading prejudicial comment.

      And what an offensive comment about inheritance. You are the only one here wishing his mum die. That’s so horrible and antisocial

      • Torzz on 10/07/2022 - 22:24

        where did I wish death on his mother?

  • 2025 on 10/07/2022 - 22:14

    Don’t do it! You didn’t consent to being born - you owe her nothing

  • darkmattersunB6c0MV on 10/07/2022 - 22:25
    -1

    How can parents staying with your ever be an inconvenience? It is not a matter of the size of the house, but the size of the heart.
    We are today what we are because of our parents.
    She raised you for 18 yrs, and probably is alone now.
    Consider moving to a bigger place and ask her to move in.
    Also, let her know about your girlfriend. She will be very happy.

    It is just my view, and respect other cultures, but personally in the culture that I have been brought up in, it is quite normal for the parents to live with children.

    And before people pass judgement, my parents (now only dad after mom passed away earlier this year) live with my brother and myself. For the last 25 yrs since I started working, we have taken care of them. And we feel blessed to have them around.

    All the best.

  • pjbargain15 on 10/07/2022 - 22:52

    Very delicate situation you got there!
    I would say if you can afford and makes sense longer term, as you mentioned GF, probably upgrade to 1 bedroom apartment. Mom can use either bedroom or living room and when she is gone, you and GF can move in together if that is something you both are comfortable with. Discuss the idea with GF, I guess. It may be easier to manage with seperate rooms.

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