What's Your Favourite Cliche OzBargain Oneliner?

tobia on 02/12/2021 - 08:28
Last edited 03/12/2021 - 00:24 by 1 other user

I'll start:

On any whiskey deals….

"Mix it with Coke."
or
"Don't mix it with Coke."

Just for a laugh, share the response that keeps coming up time after time.

General Discussion

Comments

  • rektrading on 02/12/2021 - 08:29
    +6

    Buy Plan B.

    • dust on 02/12/2021 - 09:08
      +8

      Is that a new crypto?

    • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:50

      Only if , Cash on collection!

  • avoidfullprice on 02/12/2021 - 08:30
    +8

    Welcome to OzOneLinerCliche database

    • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:19
      +15

      Welcome to OzAskOnOzBFirst and I see you have posted on Whirlpool the same question.

  • Savas on 02/12/2021 - 08:33
    +44

    Phone is fine.

    • silverrat23 on 02/12/2021 - 14:14
      +8

      Savas spelt backwards is savaS.

      Welcome back, BTW (I think I'm late on that one).

      • Savas on 02/12/2021 - 14:16
        +3

        Hahaha, thanks so much! I love that one.

        Good to hear from you.

    • LordSydney on 02/12/2021 - 14:23
      +1

      What is the origin of phone is fine?

      • silverrat23 on 02/12/2021 - 14:31
        +22

        Whenever a Hungry Jack's coupon pops up, someone would usually ask if they had to print them out to redeem and the now-stock response is "Phone is fine".

        Since then, it has reached inside-joke status.

      • Savas on 02/12/2021 - 16:04
        +8

        It dates back to 2016, first coined by KaptnKaos

        https://www.ozbargain.com.au/comment/7896817/redir

    • StrayfireX on 03/12/2021 - 17:50
      +6

      Does it have band 28?

  • Archi on 02/12/2021 - 08:37
    +63

    jacks here
    hello Pam
    any bargains
    that's a high yield investment
    there, FIFY
    and most recently "i'm not anti-vax But."

    • tobia on 03/12/2021 - 00:22
      +9

      Hahaha “any bargains”

      • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:31
        +1

        definitely hear this one when a dubious large list of games or other stuff is posted and people fail to see more than one or two actual discounts in the sea of 100 fake discounts.

      • diddy50 on 04/12/2021 - 16:56
        +3

        Typical jv

    • Laurana on 03/12/2021 - 18:23

      Good list!

    • markathome on 04/12/2021 - 22:58

      Isn't this the standard price?

    • requium94 on 05/12/2021 - 11:54

      What's the jacks here thing all about? I see it on eBay posts

      • John Stone on 05/12/2021 - 13:57

        Refers to price jacking.
        Sellers increasing prices, just before a discount coupon gets released.

  • Pungentia on 02/12/2021 - 08:38
    +73

    bikies

    • ribze1 on 03/12/2021 - 19:25
      +1

      Expired years ago

    • WeHaveRicePudding on 03/12/2021 - 21:17
      +3

      I'm still confused on that one. Is it to do with biscuits or those people that ride motorcycles?

      • Archi on 03/12/2021 - 22:18
        +1

        Bikies vs bickies

        • buckster on 03/12/2021 - 22:40
          +5

          Aren't they bikkies?

    • beefmaster on 05/12/2021 - 08:07

      Bikies should be the first reply for every new thread. Much like “First”

  • bobbified on 02/12/2021 - 08:42
    +14

    Yes

  • yellowfever on 02/12/2021 - 08:43
    +39

    what does the contract say?

  • lubos on 02/12/2021 - 08:52
    +104

    Thanks OP. Bought 10.

  • Gervais fanboy on 02/12/2021 - 08:53
    +59

    ‘Asking for a friend’

    • Your Friend on 04/12/2021 - 14:23
      +20

      🙋‍♂️

    • naru6705 on 05/12/2021 - 07:21

      Asking for mother in law

  • holoz0r on 02/12/2021 - 08:57
    +32

    Bikies.

    High yield investment vehicle.

  • Stewardo on 02/12/2021 - 08:58
    +5

    Whiskey instead of whisky,
    please advice

    • TEER3X on 02/12/2021 - 12:11
      +13

      Whiskey/whisky isn't that bad, it's country dependent

      Loose instead of lose is much worse

      • enzso on 04/12/2021 - 07:20
        +1

        Advice instead of advise always triggers me. Then I read a couple of posts down.

        • bohn on 04/12/2021 - 10:34
          +2

          One of the most annoying and used very regularly is brought instead of bought.

          'I just brought a new tv from JB'

          google result for past 7 days on ozbargain shows a lot..

          "I brought gear from there a few years back. No problems"
          "Brought 2 last year and returned both as not fit for purpose"
          "I just brought a new OASE Biomaster 600 Aquarium Filter"
          "I doubt anyone brought the lot but"
          "F**K I brought it full price!!!!!!!"
          "cheers op brought one"
          "They never shipped the last one i brought"

          And a lot more!

        • Lucille Bluth on 05/12/2021 - 06:57

          stationary vs stationery for me

          E for exercise book. Learnt that from my teacher decades ago.

    • darkmoss on 03/12/2021 - 12:14
      -2

      They're two different drinks…

      • holdenmg on 03/12/2021 - 13:29
        +1

        I'll have a double of each in the same glass…

      • Stewardo on 03/12/2021 - 19:44
        +2

        I know, the question normally is “please advice me a scotch whiskey I want to impress someone as a gift $300 budget” then everyone recommends a single malt, eventually it turns out the OP’s gift recipient only drinks red label with cola.

  • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:04
    +17

    That's what she said…

    • avoidfullprice on 02/12/2021 - 09:05
      +12

      That's what jv said…?

      • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:06
        +5

        hence the emphasis ;)

        • Kangal on 03/12/2021 - 09:34
          +2

          I finally get it!
          JV stands for Jane Voldemort, but we can't actually say the full name and have to use the abbreviation…

  • onetwothreefour on 02/12/2021 - 09:07
    +41

    What did your insurance company/neighbour/landlord etc say when you spoke to them?

    • SmiTTy on 02/12/2021 - 09:46
      +33

      "they said to ask ozbargain"

    • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:36

      "I didn't actually talk to any of them at all, I came straight to OzB for advice instead of taking logical first steps"

  • cashless on 02/12/2021 - 09:08
    +34

    Price in the title please

  • dust on 02/12/2021 - 09:08
    +30

    Buy a Camry.

    • enzso on 04/12/2021 - 07:21
      +2

      Over on Whirlpool it's Falcon on Gas.

      • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:39
        +1

        My god this is the one, my dad's 2000s life choices was to install a LGP tank in the boot and cut boot space in half cuz LPG was cheaper I guess.

  • holdenmg on 02/12/2021 - 09:08
    +8

    OzBargain = "Professionals"
    (Thanks Gerry).

    https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/89421

  • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:09
    +2

    Just for a laugh, share the responses that keeps up coming up time after time.

    FTFY ;)

    • tobia on 03/12/2021 - 00:25

      Fixed, somewhat :)

      • Kangal on 03/12/2021 - 15:36

        The revisions don't lie ; )

  • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:11
    +5

    OP, you are being entitled.

  • matabuntu on 02/12/2021 - 09:11
    +58

    MS Paint diagram?

    • MS Paint on 02/12/2021 - 09:54
      +18

      This is my favourite ozbargain oneliner

      • Slippage on 02/12/2021 - 20:04
        +7

        This should be OzB’s logo, if only for a day

        • sween64 on 03/12/2021 - 22:28

          Not a bad one for April Fools.

  • Clear on 02/12/2021 - 09:21
    +13

    Got the last one thanks OP

    There was a once top poster that would regularly say that on all the price errors at Officeworks etc. Never did provide proof when asked.

  • bitesized on 02/12/2021 - 09:23
    +8

    Poll?

  • pegaxs on 02/12/2021 - 09:28
    +21

    What did "……" say when you asked them?
    DisabledUser123456 in 3… 2.. 1.
    Have you considered/I would be looking at a Tesla…
    AMG A200… With all the bells and whistles…
    Came in to see if IVI/Pam/SlavOz posted this… Wasn't disappointed.
    Any grammar Nazi reply that is as wrong as the one they are correcting.

    • Clear on 02/12/2021 - 09:50
      +2

      We haven't seen any posts from IVI, Pam or SlavOz lately. Though SlavOz has been banned for a while so there's certainly a lot less antivaxx posts going around now.

      • mapax on 02/12/2021 - 10:17
        +2

        Pam posted something yesterday

      • DrScavenger on 03/12/2021 - 19:50
        +1

        I hope he wasn't banned for having different opinions

        • Clear on 03/12/2021 - 19:52
          +5

          No it was for trolling.

          • DrScavenger on 03/12/2021 - 19:52

            @Clear: And how did they decide it was trolling?

            • Clear on 03/12/2021 - 19:53
              +1

              @DrScavenger: I don't know. I'm not a mod so that's none of my business.

            • cashless on 04/12/2021 - 17:38

              @DrScavenger: Scomo pointed it out

            • bejahi on 05/12/2021 - 07:00
              +2

              @DrScavenger: Here's one potential measure. Imagine a user that across their 149 posts in less than a year since they joined, they have more negs than upvotes.

              They might be considered a troll.

              Know anybody like that dr scavenger?

              • DrScavenger on 05/12/2021 - 12:17
                +1

                @bejahi: People disagreeing with you doesn't make you a troll.

                • pegaxs on 06/12/2021 - 12:30
                  +2

                  @DrScavenger: No, but going out of your way to create controversy and make inflammatory comments certainly is.

                  While people are free to have their own opinions, it stops being an opinion when you start abusing people who don't agree with you or you are only making those comments to rile people up.

    • spackbace on 02/12/2021 - 13:26
      +2

      French cars are under appreciated…

      • MS Paint on 02/12/2021 - 13:41

        My Megane RS is awesome but

  • Hithere on 02/12/2021 - 09:30
    +22

    Popcorn

    First time poster. Be gentle with me.

    Is this site a scam?

    • Jackson on 03/12/2021 - 13:15
      +1

      *sits back and gets popcorn

    • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:40

      What's the opposite of scam? Cuz this site is it. Don't believe us? You walk past 10 OzB's a day, facts :)

  • SF3 on 02/12/2021 - 09:34
    -2

    This should be a new one liner :)

    Trump’s reply rhymed with “Oh spit, you’ve gotta be trucking lidding me”.

  • try2bhelpful on 02/12/2021 - 09:43
    +16

    “That’s not a deal” followed by a convoluted calculation that would be applicable for two people, maybe, and OW doesn’t have stock anyway.

    • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:42

      live and die by the OW price match. and to a lesser degree, JB when they actually have stock.

  • Big Lenny on 02/12/2021 - 09:45
    +17

    Buy now, think later

  • try2bhelpful on 02/12/2021 - 09:48
    +8

    “Now they’ve cancelled my order”
    After a too good to be true deal has been cancelled because the company involved realises it has made a pricing mistake.

    • dbmitch on 04/12/2021 - 13:44
      +4

      "Now I will report them to ACCC and my neighbour the Prime Minister for cancelling my 17cent bin bags"

      Harris Tech Ebay debacle.

  • Clear on 02/12/2021 - 09:51
    +21

    Don't forget the classic "Report to the ACCC" when there's a price error and nothing ever happens.

    • holdenmg on 02/12/2021 - 09:54
      +8

      Go the ACL…

      (or APRA, VCAT/NCAT, High Court).

      Also, Mabo, vibe of it.

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