This one pops up every now and then but feel there may be a shift in recent years.
The current answer may be skewed by current economic crisis and the pandemic, but assume 'normal' conditions.
Acceptable Age to Still Be Living at Home with Parents?
inittobinit on 18/10/2020 - 18:44
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Comments
Whatever works at whatever age. It should not be about age, it should be about whether the situation works for all concerned parties.
I have a friend who is 33,living with his folks, pays no rent, earns 100k, saves a lot. Good for him if it still works. Puts him on a fast track to wealth creation.
And that's what it's all about
Pretty much indefinite as long as you're making your fair share to the household really.
It's another story once you're married though, unless the house is big enough to allow privacy.Poll broken, kids should be on their own from 18, couldnt choose 17.
I stayed until 30+. I had some problems and felt deep shame, deep deep shame the whole time, as friends and family members moved out earlier. Then on the news, I think it was an ABS statistic that it was common for ppl to stay until 34. 34. This was in the 00's. The whole time it was ok, and I felt cripling shame … for nothing. I think ppl compared it to our parent's generation when you married at 21 and left then, and if you stayed you were a loser (can't get a partner). How do you sleep together, those kind of jibes (I suppose you just figured it out). Now everything is changed. A lot of our parents' marriages were f'd, they divorced. You can go to uni at 30 and that's acceptible (I suppose it always was but no, you were an old). Just what a waste all those bs labels were. Like that guy said, your thought process should first be what feels sensible for you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone. But at the time there was deep shame about it, and when I think about it, those ppl who did that, their marriages are gross. Anyway. I'll just end w another rant: how come we are a nation obsessed with buying and renovating property but the houses we build are truely awful - grey, bargy boxes. There's no mindfulness or creativity but we think it's normal. Even the architectually designed ones tend to be crap. The most feel good ones are the traditionally designed or older ones. They feel beautiful.
Yep, the "hamster wheel" effect.
What's that?
I remember seeing an image of a human on a hamster wheel, I can't remember what I was searching that day - lol.
The hamster wheel sounds like, all those things you described - people getting married by certain age, housing, etc… etc…
Found this in first google search results.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mindfulness_b_1891256#:~:text….@SF3: Ha yeah thanks. I just didn't know which part you were referring to. That's definitely what our parents did.
@YellowHouse: I guess it doesn't matter as, like that guy said, as long as it feels sensible for you. But I really wasn't taught that that was meant to be a priority ha.
Gosh I had a rant last night. I had some stuff happening at home. But yeah, all the shame stuff is how I felt :/
There was a study on happiness. It found that those that were couples and had no children were happier than families that were raising their children. There was only one other group that were happiest, those families when the kids had grown up and left the house.
Make your parents happy and leave the house please!
Why force your kids to line some wealthy persons wallet by paying rent, buy a big enough house to support family and save money.
My oldest stayed until he was 25 (with his fiancé living here as well), because that was the best way for them to save and buy their own house, which earlier this year they did. My youngest, who is now 23, still lives at home and will probably never leave. He is “on the spectrum “ as they say, so what should I do? Kick him out, knowing that he can’t survive in his own? My point is, it’s all relative…
Kids with disabilities that mean they can't live independently as adults are in a different bucket to what's being discussed here
What about parents living in their son / daughters home and not paying for anything? Will that be acceptable?
Depends on their age and situations. But I would say most parents already paid the cost up front way back then..
Don't we have old age pensions for vulnerable people?
These things evolve over time. Back in the day, it was common for kids to leave home when they got a job and strike out on their own (as I did) but it is a real struggle getting established, especially if trying to buy a home.
In the future, especially with all the issues around aged 'care' (ironic name) and the difficulty for young families to afford a home, it might become more common for the child/ren to continue to live in the 'family home' and look after their parents when they get old (and inherit their home when they pass on). Like it was a long time ago…
I moved out to work in Japan for a year before coming back to live with my parents. Not much difference either way except for the cash saved - you're outside at work most of the time after all (precovid). If you're the type that brings home dates often, then it might be worth sacrificing that cash saved. Depends on how much you're earning and what you value.
Sounds like some people move out and live from paycheck to paycheck. I'm not sure how one achieves financial freedom that way but perhaps the pressure forces them to somehow make things work. Or maybe they find a partner faster and thus achieve double income faster.
Some people seem to think that moving out from parents' place automatically makes you independent, responsible and "grown up".
This is so far from the truth and it's idiotic to move out just for the sake of moving out. All you are doing is taking a massive step backwards financially.
People who live with parents as an adult and do nothing to contribute to the household is equally pathetic.Kicked out at age 17 due to a psychotic (literally) parent now 29, university educated, paying a mortgage on a decent house with a great amount of equity and on six figures. Rented, lived in many states of Aus, been to USA, Maldives, Malaysia, New Zealand and more and still have investments and savings in a pandemic.
While it may not work for everyone, it sure gave me the drive to succeed and taught me independence. Too many kids suck the teat for too long.
The next thread: what is the acceptable age for your parents to be living with you
When people say they are saving up for a house, what amount are they actually aiming for? 20% deposit on a 1mil house - $200k? 5% deposit on a 700k house - $35k?
It's hard for me to get perspective on this. When you google the average savings aussies have, it's shockingly low.
RealEstate - $34k
Yahoo - $15-$50k
Savings - saving around $6.5k/annumNot sure what to take from this. Maybe no one has savings because they're all in investment assets.
Not surprising. There is not really any incentives for savings. The interest is low, and taxed full as normal income. A lot of government assictance are only available if you have no savings/liquid assets. Meanwhile you get 50% tax discount on investment capital gain.
A person working hard, saving towards goals can be admirable and smart. Go to late 20s would be fine. Cultural differences might factor in as well as looking after older family members.
But if you're just mooching and well into adult age without an end in sight it's kind of tragic for your character development. Even more so if there's some kind of "step brothers" like complex.
Saying that there could be understandable circumstances which could prevent a persons moving out and being independent - so each to their own. Some situations work out fine, my mate a serious but surfy fella lived with his single dad near the beach until this year he had a kid and needed space. 28. So he bought up when it was required. Who knows the answer.
No written rule on what age is acceptable, everybody's circumstances are different.
Live with your parents for ever or move out like me at 16, who cares !
Why did you move out at 16?
When I was 12 my parents moved from the city into the country, small rural town with about 1500 people.
I had no interest in working on a farm for the rest of my life so I moved out at 16 and pursued a life that I wanted.
Wow, good for you! You've obviously got a strong independent spirit and are not afraid to do difficult things if it is something you want.
@Quantumcat: Thank you ! This was nearly 13 years ago now and while it has not been the easiest journey I still have enjoyed the ride and still look forward to what the future brings.
Like I said before I feel everybody has different circumstances so really no age for moving out exists.
Edit: Just live your life as it suits you !
I was born and grown up in an Asian country, I might say that we tend to move out when get married. But there's always 1 kid (usually the son) stay with parents to take care of them and build their new family in the family house.
My family is an example, my grandparents lives at my great-grandparents' house, then they have my dad, my dad got married and had us. And we never left the great-grandparents' house but we do a lot of renovation from time to time.
My sister right now is living in the family house with my grandparents, my parents and her own family (my brother-in-law and my niece). 4 gen family. The house is always cozy and full of happiness.
Maybe because of my background, i think it's totally fine living with parents as long as the kids help doing the household, clean after themselves and contribute to bills. I can imagine myself living with my parents, cooking them almost every lunch and dinner, watching movie/drama at night just like what my sister is doing. I always feel that it's never enough to payback what they're giving us, in term of monetary and caring, therefore, I want to be with them as much as possible when they're still around.
Gosh damn Covid19, I want to come back home real bad.You live with your parents until you are 40 and then at that stage your parents are now living with you.
21 - It allows enough time for the kid to finish high schooling and earn a degree with minimal added pressures but beyond that there are some valuable life lessons to be learned leaving home. Also, 21 is generally the age when you are considered an adult and as such it makes sense to become independent.
I have left my home and moved away but I will go back to return the favour. Aged care is not the way to treat them IMO. Having a kid of my own reminds me of how much you rely on others when you're not able bodied.
Aged care is required when they need 24/7 care like toileting, showering, constant medical things. If they are relatively independent and just need help for cooking, keeping on top of gardening, shopping etc then yes staying at home and having some help from your family is nicer
My parents have recently sold their home, moved in with me and are going to build a granny flat extension at the side of my house. I am 29 yo, single (still dating) and a medical professional. I personally know plenty of 40-50 yo's living with their parents, including professionals. There's NO age barrier at all. Only outdated Western societal stigma and ignorant Boomers with their outdated expectations. I believe family is very important and I have no expectations to send my parents to a nursing home in the future.
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As along as parents are happy for their son/ daughter to live with them .
Also it’s our responsibility to payback parents by helping them as much as possible when we are adults or whenever we can
I would like to stay with my parents as long as I can but I don’t have parents ( lost both of them few years ago )
No one in this world would show unconditional love and affection as much as parents do ( I believe most of them would care for their kids no matter how good or average or bad their kids may be ,very few exceptional parents don’t care about kids )
No one can replace or fill in the spot of a parents.
In this day and age, I think it’s more socially acceptable to stay at home longer. There is nothing wrong with staying at home.
Everyone’s situation and family dynamic is different. You need to do what’s right for yourself.
In the 40's and 50's (and 60's?) in Australia (so my parents tell me) it was usual for children to live at home until they got married.
Shacking up with the opposite sex was scandalous and with mates 'bohemian'.
Times change.
any age if your folks don't have issues with it. if you got work, make sure you at least pay for your food and take care of some of the house bills, you are getting free 'rent' anyway. I am married now and got my own place but everytime I visit my Dad who is 73, I feel he really wants me and my spouse to move back coz he wants to be around family. If we will do so, my plan is to take care of all the bills and groceries at home.
My intention is the other way around, allow the grandparents to move in with us. This would only work if we moved back to Asia, as that's where her family is from and where my family has moved.
The house is ours, not theirs, so it's clear whose rules we live by if they ever get old and cranky and want to play that card.
They sell their houses so they've got no burdens and either invest the money for the grandkids or spend it on them. Win/win.
Are you Jewish? (Big Bang reference)
I moved out when I was 18, but these days children expect their parents to take care of them financially and emotionally until they're well into their 30s