Male working in woman dominated office?

Has anyone got experience similar to mine? I've been in this job for 2 years now, am quite happy, but the entire department (about 45 people) is mostly female. I'm one of only 5 males in the department, and in the short time I've been here there has been an ongoing trend of men leaving. Most of them never leave quietly either…theres always a notable conflict involved.

Lo and Behold the same thing has crept up on me. The culture of the place is dominated by bitchiness, gossip, and clans. Most of the women are constantly taking time off which makes it impossible to get any work done if you rely on internal stakeholders. The women get threatened and complain any time sometime tries to take initiative or suggest a better way of doing something. Worse yet, I've been trying everything possible to move up and increase my pay, but the department receives limited budget because all the managers (women) are too afraid to ask for more money.

At this stage I can only consider moving on and leaving, but sadly the company is a great place to work…good pay, great benefits, convenient for me, etc.

closed Comments

  • +15

    Similar to an earlier poster, I have also worked in some very toxic offices, both male and female dominated. Of the two, it disappoints me to say the women were the worst.

    On three separate occasions in one very large organisation, my contract was not renewed due each time to a nasty, vicious female in the Division I was in at the time. It was never about my work, no-one was ever able to fault that, and it was widely recognised that the work I did was outstanding. That was the reason I returned to the same organisation over and over again either on contract or as a temp. I was known throughout the organisation, and people would always call me or my agency to see if I was free for some work. In fact several organisations used to call my agency and ask for me. So I knew it wasn't me. The reasons for my treatement were unfathomable to most of my colleagues. I was no threat to anyone as I was just a humble worker bee. I went in, did my job and went home. I tried hard to stay right out of the office politics - easier when your just a temp or on short term contract.

    It was hard work dealing with these people, particulary as the OP said about making suggestions to get things working more efficiently. I worked in a hospital once on a short term contract that was extended several times over about 18 months. In this particular all female office we had an old manual system of writing things in big books. A new computer system had been installed to replace it but the women didn't trust it, they liked the old system. So we double handled everything wasting so much time in an exceptionally busy office. That wasn't helped by one staff member (who lived 5 minutes walk away) coming late into the office every day and then taking up to half an hour to get coffee, chat and finally sit down and turn on her computer. She did the least amount of work of anyone. After several months of this, I talked to the manager and suggested we run a two week trial of just using the computer system. She agreed as she could see the sense in it. We never went back to the old manual system.. But those women never let me forget it. I went on to introduce a couple more new streamlined processes which really made a difference, but…. In the end our really great (and supportive of me) but ineffective manager was "let go" and the new manager took a dislike to me and my contract was not renewed again.

    In the last job I had before I was "forcibly" retired, I worked in a female dominated office with a "youngish" male Divisional head. He and I were the only males and I was his Exec Assistant, but I also provided admin support for the rest of the team. Everything went along really well for quite a while and the team were working well together without any problems. But then one of the managers moved and a new person came in. She should not have even been a manager but got her previous manageriral position due to favouritism and underhanded shenigans during the selection process, though I was the only person in the office who knew that and I never revealed it to anyone. She turned out to be an absolute bitch, a fact that was well known in the organisation anyway. My fate was sealed when I made a silly off the cuff remark about something I was asked to do. It was nothing serious, and I went off and did the job immediately without any fuss. She was a snitch, and went running to my boss to tell him. This woman was a Manager! She could have "spoken" to me and that would have been the end of the matter. My contract was up for renewal for at least another six months, and no prizes for guessing what happened. I was replaced by a woman who was totally useless according to my friends who kept me informed of what was going on.

    But having said all that, I also worked with some fantastic women in my 45 odd years in the workforce. One of them turned out to be one of the best bosses I have had. She was fantastic, and I achieved some of my biggest successes while working for her, all because she trusted me and gave me the opportunities to shine. She also defended me unconditionally against a couple of dissidents in the office who had issues with me beacuse I did things by the book or was given jobs that they felt more senior people (ie, themselves) should have been given to do.

    • +2

      That reminded me of a conversation between 2 office (male) workers on a train, which I assume one of them was a long-term employee and another one was a rookie (just a guess!):

      Underperform, underdeliver and underpromise.
      This is the only way to stay in the company and if the manager will have had enough of you they will promote you so you become someone else's problem.

      I assume they were full-time workers so they couldn't be fired on the spot like casual or part-timers can be.

      • +1

        I could write a book about all the examples I have seen of that in my working life.

        The high level of management incompetence in our organisations and government departments just does not bear thinking about.

        Hold that thought next time you are railing about some problem causing you grief that could be easily fixed.

      • The Costanza method. Love it. My role model

    • +1

      i upvoted you after reading the first line.

      the rest was tl:dr but i get it

      • Sorry about that. Unfortunately some things can't easily be described in two lines and words of one syllable.

        • don't be sorry, you summed it up perfectly in the first line hence the upvote.

    • Tldr

  • +1

    Not too sure what you are trying to get out of this post. Also not sure how does the ratio of male/female in your office would become a problem.

    The culture of the place is dominated by bitchiness, gossip, and clans.

    Office culture is one thing but the male/female ratio is a completely separate issue.

    • +2

      Pretty sure the culture is determined by the personal makeup of those inside the office. They're inter related.

      There was a question in the OP asking if anyone has similar experiences.

    • The ratio isn't separate, we’d like to think it is in today's world, but skew either gender and it definitely makes matters worse. Especially if you are e.g a bloke who isn't really invitedntot the coffee chats and the shopping trips that others get to bond over.

      It definitely shows poor management and leadership in organisations

  • +10

    Beginning to think SlavOz maybe isn’t a very pleasant person to be around IRL

  • +1

    I've worked in a female dominated business before being Unilever. Ratios were 3 to 1.

    Yes it was catty. But there is no substitute for quality work. Let the plebs bitch about what crap is on MAFs or whatever irrelevant Instagram influencer is up to.

  • +1

    Since dining out is really cheap, according to you, you should take them out for dinner each week. 45 weeks later you'd be the stud in the office.

  • +5

    "I've been trying everything possible to move up and increase my pay"

    "the company is a great place to work…good pay"

    Which is it?

    • -1

      It's both. Wanting more pay is not necessarily an indicator of being paid poorly. It just means I could be getting more.

  • +1

    SlavOz, why don't you just let us know where you work so we can sort this out for you.

    • -2

      I thought you knew man. It's your address. First bedroom on the right as you enter.

  • +3

    There is no advice for you here that you will like.
    Any advice will simply boil down to this: either do the job you are paid to do, or find an exit if you aren't happy with the changes that have taken place in your workplace.

    • There is one more piece of advice. While doing your best to do great work, join a union, take good notes on everything suss, learn your rights, and keep dossiers. It's not for the front of heart, but it can be extremely useful to you.

  • +6

    History of troll posts/comments

    Upset at #metoo movement and is doing the #whataboutmen & #notallmen shtick

    • +4

      With the exception of a bad male manager 😉

      Interesting how the majority female office makeup wasn't there only 6 months ago. Or at least wasn't worth pointing out when bitching about the manager.

      Trolls gonna troll

    • Hey he made it, another one of his troll post made the front page ! 👏👏👏

  • Grow some tits OP

    • +1

      "Give your balls a tug! Tit f#%ker" - Shorsey, Letterkenny

      • Upvoted for the Letterkenny reference! Love that show.

    • Or a vagina. Those things can take a pounding

  • -6

    Ive worked in a female dominated work place my advice is if you can get out!!

    women get paid less 4 a reason the majority value feelings more then money in the workplace

    Hence why female dominated professions are generally paid shit ie child care, teachers etc

    Opposed to male dominated professions ie builders, engineers etc

    You go to work to make money not friends if you have a good work culture it is always a bonus but its not the priority

    • +1

      Screenshotting this post for posterity. :D

      • An economist from Carnegie Mellon found that teams that included at least one female member had a collectively higher IQ than teams that had just men.

      • When Fortune 500 companies had at least three female directors, several key factors increased: The return on invested capital jumped over 66%, return on sales went up 42%, and return on equity increased by 53%.

      • Gallup found that companies with more diversity on staff have a 22% lower turnover rate, and if an organisation has a more inclusive culture that embraces women, it is easier to recruit a more diverse staff.

      • A 2012 study on women’s participation in IT patents found that patents with mixed gender teams were cited 30% to 40% more than similar patents with all-male teams.

      • Studies in 17 different countries in all different industries found that across the board, having a larger number of women on a team accounts for greater psychological safety, team confidence, group experimentation, and team efficiency.

      The case for investing in women

      • -1

        A 2020 study found that women with no teeth gossiped less in the workplace and gave the best …. jobs.

        • +1

          Source?

          Mine are in the report I've linked to.

      • -2

        Now for some unbiased facts
        https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech…

        Read this article

        2nd fact women earn less then men is every 1st world country

        3rd high IQ or academic achievement doesn't = financial success in life however it does increase your chances. Ie an electrician earns most then more degree based professions

        I'm not saying all women but the general collective the writing is on the wall

        Call me sexist idc I call it as I see it

        • +2

          Use the phrase "unbiased facts" then goes on to link to an article published in the Dailymail😂

          Point #2 : It's called the glass ceiling.

          Point #3 : women can become electricians too.

        • +1

          Your 3rd statement is a bit of #fakenews .. because statistically randomstuff = financial success.

          Also a high IQ (not genius level) + hard work + academic achievement are a much stronger indicator of financial success. IE. you look at all the richest 0.01 percenters .. and you will find more of them have a high iq and academic achievements than a trades qualification.

          • -2

            @apenman: Oh god

            1st off calm down

            2nd we are talking about the general population ie everyday people

            3rd the list of top .01% of rich people is dominated by males you can fact check that you want

            • @Trying2SaveABuck: why the top 0.01% the whole list of rich people is dominated by men. In Australia, not only is it male … it is old & white & male .. That has nothing to do with how qualified or how deserving they are of success. The world is sexist and patriachal .. and racist.

              If the world was a matriarchal society, and men were discriminated against, just like women are today.. then those stats would be reversed.

  • +1

    I agree, start looking for a nicer workplace.. imagine all the extra work and carrying you have to do because you're a "man"

    Feminism is less about equality, but more about bringing the toxic energy out of an already toxic "I'm offended" female culture

    They'll drain you!

  • +4

    pulls out the popcorn

    • What flavour? Did you enjoy the popcorn?

  • +1

    Leave dude, toxic environment - you will be happier elsewhere.

  • +4

    My work is 90% female - there are factions and I would have to listen to 20 minutes of bitching if I come in early. My boss is female and a lot better at the job than me and I religh on her pretty heavily. I have a chronic illness and miss a fair bit of work- I found the few men in the office are much more critical of me taking days off than the women … though I have found that the guys who don't have kids are treated a little harsher… to survive you have to be yourself, don't gossip, talk about kids and just be open. Don't be a marcho (profanity) and don't hit on anyone- I have cried at work, i have talked about my problems to female bosses (within reason)… if you have to complain about anything be very diplomatic and don't aim it at anyone. I have also had great male bosses in the past were you had more freedom to talk about hobbies that I would never talk about with female bosses that would land me in HR. Just read the room and adapt to live your 8 hours a day there go as smoothy as possible- but no1 rule don't gossip- I learned if a female is ripping another coworker a new one to you and you say something your words will be a number one on the charts by lunch time

  • +1

    Talk to your manager or HR about the culture.
    Hint: do not use the word ‘bitchiness’. It is a loaded word.

  • SlavOz needs to write a memoir.

    • +3

      He is. Slowly. On these forums 😂

  • This happens in a female dominated workplace. It is the nature of things. Though, this doesn't give you an excuse. Ultimately things are your responsibility. In such an environment, you may find being male helps as you'll be the only person getting things done if you take the responsibility to step up. Be assertive. Though, it does not appear you have taken up the opportunity.

    A way to think about it, imagine being in a work place that is all male and filled with alpha males. Would you survive that?

    I found working with females (20:1 ratio) was a lot easier as the common issues would just repeat themselves and are easily solved with just listening (I was manager level). Competition wise going up against testosterone filled alphas in a challenging environment was well, fun and challenging and yes, the work was brutal and long, with this work context it was about 95% male with insane bonuses - if you had a family or kids you would not have lasted past a few weeks.

  • Sound's like my job at the strip club. Some can be so bitchy.

    • you call stuffing 5 dollar bills into skimpy underwear a job? i guess i better report to centrelink then, i'm now employed! oh wait if i do that i won't have money to continue doing my job

      *scratches head

      • Ah, sounds like MagicMike has fallen down on hard times and it has made him cynical . This is what happens when you break up with a cool chick like Jessie J.

      • What you talking about, this is ozbargain.
        Loose change.

  • Can't you mate with some of them to relax the environment a bit?

  • Good place to work. Then tell them you want in. Don't leave. Just get in on the sweat deal!

  • I think the problem is not women in the workplace but older women/hags/witches in the workplace. In the old days witches were set on fire. You can’t do that now #enough! I can’t wait for all the upvotes 😁

  • +1

    Tough titties

  • +1

    the company is a great place to work…good pay, great benefits, convenient for me

    Yet, I still want to come on OzB and bitch about it….

  • Gonna be straight out here and say the me2 movement has made it a great time to be a female in corporate and a challenging time to be a young male in corporate.

    I’m also feeling the heat as a young male in the large corporates…There’s just something in the air and females have an unspeakable power following this recent anti sexism movement

    On the other hand, a room of 45 women and me would be great. Particularly if you work in media or advertising…eye candy for days

    Yeah me2 movement blah blah

    • +1

      Preference in hiring women in more senior roles was well underway before the me2 movement.

      It's actually discrimination and I should've spoken up about it in my company when it was happening more than a decade ago.

      • +1

        When quotas are enforced, especially in a rush like many companies are doing to meet promises - the best person for the job isn't the top priority.

    • -1

      Boo Hoo.

      • You would be crying if they choose females instead of males purely on gender, even when the males had better results and qualifications.

  • Weird, you're both happy about the job and enjoying it, with good pay, yet also you want to move on, and complain about not having enough pay.

    Maybe need to think about this a bit more and pick a side? Although based on your posts I have a feeling you'll end up unhappy in any environment due to something/someone else doing something you don't like.

  • -1

    I would not ask for advice on ozbargain. Honestly one of the most toxic forums I've seen…Unfortunately people who spend their time seeking bargains are also usually sad people.

    • +1

      Unfortunately people who spend their time seeking bargains are also usually sad people.

      Said no one ever.

  • Well well well well.. how the turntables have turned

  • There is literally nothing that brings out the worst in people than an office environment. it truly is incredible how malicious people can be

  • +2

    your department get limited budget so you can't get payrise?
    welcome to corporate life, buddy.

  • testosterone through the roof!

    • testosterone is the superior hormone.

      • There's better.

  • +1

    Just a stagnant office, where the incumbents have taken control and are comfortably doing the bare minimum

  • +1

    As others have mentioned, I think you'll find that all workplaces include bullying, bitchiness, gossip, incompetency, show-boating, etc. It's gonna happen anywhere where people have the opportunity to talk! - our society is built around 'feedback' of sorts, whether it be verbal, non-verbal, social-media etc.

    I assume you assume that your female managers are too scared to ask for additional budget, but unless you're in that chair, you might not be aware of all the issues or reasons for your mentioned outcome.

  • Women dominated offices are pretty hard places to work imho as there is a lot of bonding and friendliness that men are not and will not ever be part of (not that we'd want to most of the time given some of the conversations they have). This then reflects the outcome of any internal promotions as females seem always to get in ahead of the blokes. SA State and Federal Govt offices in Adelaide are a prime example of this as the jobs seem always to go to the females who socialise outside work.

    • There should be equal opportunity and thus be close to equal proportions of males and females as well as cultural diversity in my opinion #diversity #quotas.

      • +1

        equal opportunity doesn't necessarily mean an equal proportion of males and females in the workplace will be represented, nor does it necessarily mean there will be resulting cultural diversity.

        equal opportunity means each candidate should be judged based on their own merits and not advanced because they fit the desired 'diversity' profile of the company whether it be gender or race.

        it's this very reason why so many workplaces that claim to be 'equal opportunity' workplaces are anything but, and inferior candidates are promoted ahead of well competent individuals that just don't fit their criteria. it's blatant discrimination - the very level of discrimination such policies try to eradicate.

        it's a recipe for a failing workplace (financially and socially) and causes even further separation between demographics because it's no longer a meritocracy (like all workplaces should be).

        but as long as you can write some good clickbait articles about the odd success story or two then why not? the ones promoting it are often safe in terms of employment because they submit to such 'movements'.

  • +1

    Train wreck thread delivers, thank ozbargain :D

  • Curious Slav, do people in real life treat you like they do online?

    • Na, thankfully I don't come accross many stalkers or cheapskates in real life. All is well.

      • All is well

        Based on your posts I wouldn't say 'all' is well, otherwise we wouldn't have posts like this one ;)

        • -4

          Dude, I think you're overestimating the accuracy of Ozbargain posts. This is a place I come to recollect funny or somewhat trivial/annoying occurrences to get a laugh out of people's (hysteric) reactions. I'm not here seeking life advice or spiritual guidance.

          Power to you if you do.

          • +2

            @SlavOz:

            to get a laugh out of people's (hysteric) reactions. I'm not here seeking life advice or spiritual guidance

            Wait, so now you're admitting to trolling?

      • I wasn't referring to the stalking, but I guess you just don't realise.

  • Same. I'm am one of 5 male employees in an office with 30 plus female staff. Difference is that they're all high performers and get along… If anything us guys bitch as much as them.
    Think your office justs has a culture that needs a shake up.

  • Comments are closed and OP is warned for posting with apparent disingenuous intentions.

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