AMAs seem to be the cool thing to do lately, so thought I'd give it a try. Have been a mechanic for 15 odd years, worked on everything from Hyundai to Porsche. Recently moved to marine in the last year or so. Will try to answer when I can.
Edit - Wow this was much more popular than anticipated, thanks for the great response everyone, hopefully it's helped a few people out.
Yes, "expert" customer who had read (brand X) forum and who knew everything were a nightmare.
Most annoying-
"Can I bring the van back in a few weeks?", asked when a brake pad has worn down so much that it fell out, and the piston was pressing on the disc. Also had steel belts showing through the tyres. Answer, "no, no you can not".