Tricky Situation with Friends - Portable Bluetooth Speaker Stolen While Camping

MementoMori on 19/11/2018 - 13:59
Last edited 20/11/2018 - 12:23 by 1 other user

Hey guys,

I went camping with some friends. They forgot to bring their portable bluetooth speaker and asked me to bring mine. I don't usually bring it with me, as it's a liability more than anything, but they're good friends so I brought mine for them.

On Friday night they asked me to get it out so we all could listen together to it in their tent. I did / we did. Then I was tired, and wanted to go to bed early, so said goodnight. Rather than being a party pooper, turn off the music and take my speaker back, I left it with them to continue staying up and listen to music.

The following night I wanted to use it so I asked if I could have my speaker back. They said they don't know where it is, I said it must be in their tent. They said they couldn't find it.

I don't for a second believe they stole it, but I at a guess what happened is they 'left' it out for me in our camping groups setup's little 'communal' area under the gazebo, and another some other camping group stole it.

On one hand I didn't specifically 'lend' it to them or tell them they must look after it, but on the other, I left it with them in their tent (a safe place) for them to use (at their request) and brought the thing caming at their request. A friend at work says it's my fault because I should have taken it back, two other friends say it should be implied they should look after it.

For the record, I was in the reverse situation once and took my friends speaker into my tent for the night and gave it back to them the next day.

The question is - should I ask them to buy me a new one?

UPDATE:
Last night my friend messaged me, she said she left it outside the next day when they left the camp and thinks it has been stolen (which is what I thought happened). She's said 'if you want we could give your ours as a replacement'.

From memory they have the same UE Boom 2 just in a different colour.

I'm thinking about accepting the offer, and also offering to go halves in a new one as an alternative (~$85 - bricks and mortor store price).

Poll Options

  • 469
    They should replace it
  • 55
    We should go halves in a replacement
  • 81
    I shouldn't ask them to replace it, it's my fault
Sports & Outdoors

Comments

    • richmond12 on 20/11/2018 - 09:59
      +2

      Hope they dont read ozbargain! Lol.

      Isnt it in top 50 traffic sites in Australia?

  • Conka on 19/11/2018 - 16:52
    +2

    Nice comms to your Fb group. Enquiring without pointing fingers.

    They sound like decent friends.

    People attach value to material objects differently, and issues like his can damage friendships.

    Is their friendship worth more than the cost of a replacement?

    • MementoMori on 20/11/2018 - 10:02

      Yes, I had to let them know it was missing in some way.

  • zuuutoootuuu on 19/11/2018 - 17:09
    +9

    I believe friends should treat other friends property better than their own. You handed the item to a person (you didn't just leave it there), they plugged their phone in, they are responsible in my opinion. Someone will know something, they are just not speaking up.

    • [Deactivated] on 19/11/2018 - 23:38

      Yea I agree, I went to the snow once years ago with two other mates we borrowed my mates dad's ute since it was big enough to store all our gear. Anyway, It was quite a distance so we took turns driving and whilst I was behind the wheel the mate who's dad owned the car was asleep in the back and I was chatting to my other mate in the passenger seat as I drove.

      The car had quite a few tiny stone chips in the windscreen and whilst we were chatting my mate commented on all the cracks then tapped on the windscreen from the inside, in doing this one of the chips instantly turned into a large crack across the windscreen. He was quick to notice what he did and looked at me as if to say S@#T I wasnt expecting that..

      Anyway my other mate woke up sometime after and he noticed the crack when it was his turn to drive, I didnt say how it happened since I felt it was my other friends responsibility to own up to what happened. Although some weeks later my friends dad had made comments towards me since I was driving the vehicle at the time that I was responsible for the crack.

      I was quite upset by this for a number of reasons, firstly since my mate never owned up, and secondly the windscreen was covered in chips so in normal driving it is not unreasonable for a stone chip to turn into a crack at anytime since the windscreen was already damaged so therefore driving the vehicle doesn't make me liable for repairing a subsequent crack in the windscreen. And finally if anyone was to pay / chip in (no pun intended) to repair the windscreen it should have been my coward mate

      • Lockieasy on 20/11/2018 - 00:35
        +3

        Ah yes the classic blame the person not present to defend themselves. Happens occasionally but it's not too often that you find out it happened.

        Sometimes I wonder how many things I've been blamed for that I don't know about lol.

      • p3nf0ld on 21/11/2018 - 09:10

        If tapping on the windscreen cracks your windscreen that is not the poor friend's fault. It is the nature of having a chip in the windscreen to begin with. Whoever owned the car should have had them repaired before you started the trip.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/11/2018 - 09:57

          Yea I agree, the person loaning the car should have not been surprised that the large crack appeared however my windscreen has had a tonne of chips for years and no cracks. The friend could have owned up to it "I just touched the windscreen and it cracked" and the person who owned the car should have been reasonable enough to know it wasnt really his fault anyway.

  • djkelly69 on 19/11/2018 - 17:14
    +2

    Spewing that this deal is closed - you could have got them to kick in for beer for the next camping trip/party/whatever and got a cheap (better?) speaker in the process!

  • TheBilly on 19/11/2018 - 17:23

    It's just a speaker. Cut your losses. Next time somebody asks you to bring something, say you don't have one.

  • AlanHB on 19/11/2018 - 17:45

    I'm kinda torn with this one.

    On one hand I'm of the view that you don't lend friends things, you give it to them, and if it comes back, that's a bonus.

    On the other hand, they should take responsibility for other people's things.

    If it doesn't show up, I'd mention to the group that you'll need to replace it, that it cost $150, and it would be great if they could chip in for the purchase, considering it was in their care at the time it was lost.

    • stumo on 19/11/2018 - 18:45
      +4

      But that is putting the blame onto everyone, and everyone will be kind of annoyed if they had basically nothing to do with any of it. Its pretty clear that it was that one chick. The one who organised OP to bring it, the one that got OP to get it for her, the one that connected her phone to it. She should pay for a replacement. If she wants to inflict her carelessness (or theft or whatever it was) onto everyone else, thats on her, not on OP.

      • [Deactivated] on 19/11/2018 - 22:46

        I agree with what you're saying here but if it were me, even if I wasn't the one directly involved I would still offer some money.

        At work a few weeks back guys were playing basketball and one of them hit my car with the ball and it cracked my wind deflector on my bonnet, I was very annoyed to have to discover this myself since none of them came inside to tell me it was broken. I was vocal about the carelessness of them and how they didn't have the decency to tell me, two of the three then later offered to contribute towards the cost of the replacement, I thanked them for offering although I was still upset at the third person who rejected any responsibility and didn't offer but either way I paid for the replacement myself and told them in-future to take more care. Although they didn't originally tell me I still feel that they did the right thing by offering to pay for the replacement.

        I feel that since it was a communal item that was used by everyone and it was stolen even if they chipped in $10 each it would make much more of a difference.

  • JungliChilli on 19/11/2018 - 18:09
    +5

    If they were good friends they would have taken care of it without U having to ask. And if they misplaced it whilst in their care,they would have offered to replace it without you having to ask. That's what I would do anyways.

  • shaybisc on 19/11/2018 - 18:57
    +1

    Lousy friends.

  • BartholemewH on 19/11/2018 - 19:42
    +13

    I once borrowed a set of cheap drill bits from a friend. I burned one out drilling some brick so I bought a set of quality german drill bits, used the correct size to finish the holes and returned the german bits along with the remaining cheap bits to my friend. Did it cost me more than just buying the German bits for myself? Yes, as I ended up with no drill bits. Did I learn about the right quality of tool for the job? Yes. Do I still have the friend 14 years later? Yes.

  • dogboy on 19/11/2018 - 20:05

    If you are worried about broaching this topic with them, tell them you were not sure what to do so posted the situation on a public message board for opinions. Then give them the link to this thread so they can see what normal, reasonable people think of their actions. Well maybe not 'normal or reasonable' in hindsight .. but people nonetheless!

    • Tiggrrrrr on 20/11/2018 - 13:41

      ".. but people nonetheless!"

      Interesting statement. Let's discuss.

  • DarkOz on 19/11/2018 - 21:02
    +1

    You grow up with your friends and things like this is part of the process. There will be bigger and more costly thngs to pay for along the way.

    It’ not your fault but just let it go. It’s only a speaker.

    • esty on 20/11/2018 - 08:57
      +2

      Bigger and more costly things. If they cant take responsibility for a small item, how do you think they will handle larger things?

      • Kangal on 20/11/2018 - 09:27
        +5

        Yeah, next thing they will "carelessly" and "accidentally" impregnate your gf. Shir happens. They're just friends.

        …like where do you draw the line between good and bad friends?

  • HardQuiz on 19/11/2018 - 21:08

    Give them the link to this thread or better put it on FB for them to see.

  • Name on 19/11/2018 - 21:29

    How old is everyone? I'm picturing late teens early 20s.

    I doubt your friends took it. Stuff goes missing at camp grounds all the time.

    What is crap is that your friends didn't offer to pay for it. They had it last. Just like I wouldn't borrow a mates lawn mower and then leave it out on the nature strip for him to come and pick it up the next the morning.

    Depending on the history (long term friends) I'd still be friends with them but I'd just remember what happened for the future.

  • tyvod on 19/11/2018 - 21:36
    +3

    I guess they aren't your 'good friend'. If I were OP's friend, I would have bought a new one without saying anything.

  • [Deactivated] on 19/11/2018 - 22:38
    +1

    IMO I think it would be fair for them to offer to contribute to the replacement cost.

    Although the speaker belonged to you the speaker was used communally, once you went to bed the speaker became the responsibility of your friends. They should have had enough common sense to bring the speaker in with them at night, since the speaker was stolen when it was in their care they should be liable for at least some part of the replacement.

    • [Deactivated] on 19/11/2018 - 23:43
      +2

      If you had some friends over and you were up watching a movie on your tv and you decided to go to bed early, would you expect your friends to turn the tv off when they left or to leave it on all night?

      • zuuutoootuuu on 20/11/2018 - 00:00
        +3

        I wonder if their opinion would change if their friends left the front door wide open on the way out too. Since nobody was left in charge, some opportunist was walking down the street and decided to help themselves.

        • [Deactivated] on 20/11/2018 - 22:00

          if it was going to cost me $200 then I probably would.

  • Melong on 19/11/2018 - 23:40

    Write it off. In the end it’s just a crappy Bluetooth speaker, and you lost it, buy a replacement and move on, there is way too much stuff to think about in life to worry about a few bucks.

  • spoonmugen on 20/11/2018 - 00:44

    what speaker?
    whats the value/
    what do u deem as worthwhile to worry about?

    $50?
    $100?

  • kaleidoscope on 20/11/2018 - 06:08

    Have been in your situation couple of times in my life (not the same incident but similar context like loosing things they've borrowed from me or returning them broken). I've never recovered the item nor got any compensation. They should be the ones initiating any damage recovery, if they keep denying just learn who your friends are :).
    Does not mean stop being friends with them, as it's not worth loosing them over a speaker.

    Learn your lesson and move on with your life.

    • smartazz104 on 20/11/2018 - 07:25
      +1

      Does not mean stop being friends with them, as it's not worth loosing them over a speaker.

      Too bad the friends don't feel the same way.

  • whooah1979 on 20/11/2018 - 06:12
    +4

    These friends are close enough to go camping with. That's more important than some widgets that may easily be replaced.

    Crap like this may happen so many times in our lifes. Let it go.

    nsuinteger said it while I was typing.

  • Geryatric on 20/11/2018 - 07:08

    It’s always someone’s else’s fault . Take some responsibility

    • rover100 on 20/11/2018 - 15:17

      Yeah never trust friends!

  • Donaldhump on 20/11/2018 - 09:18

    Easy.

    You left it in their possession for their benefit.

    They did not responsibly return it.

    They are liable to replace it and if they don’t believe so they are gronks you should ditch as friends.

  • crazyj on 20/11/2018 - 09:29

    They asked you to bring it, and used it. They should replace it.

    But you should've mentioned they look after it prior to you retiring…

    friendsnotfriends
  • BennyHe2018 on 20/11/2018 - 09:38
    +2

    Probably OP learnt what is the difference between 'bowing acquaintance' and 'good friends'. It is not cheap for a speaker, but cheap to identify if someone is trustworthy and reliable.

  • emblurr on 20/11/2018 - 10:08
    -1

    I think you should post to your FB group, 'Guys, had a great time camping with you, but i'm down a speaker. I'd really appreciate it if we could have a whip around to purchase a new speaker so we are all square'

  • [Deactivated] on 20/11/2018 - 10:17
    +1

    You are still referring to them as 'friends'. That's cute.

    • rover100 on 20/11/2018 - 15:20
      -1

      So what happens when its time for them to go to school, you gonna follow them into their classroom, so dumb.

      • Herbse on 20/11/2018 - 15:24
        -1

        Again, they're always my responsibility. If i did the research and found the best school and taught them enough to take care of themselves, there's not much more I can do. It's another risk..

        • rover100 on 20/11/2018 - 15:26

          But you wouldn't want compensation over negligence from another party towards your kids or property???

          • Herbse on 20/11/2018 - 15:36
            -1

            @rover100: I'd prefer some kind of punishment and rules put in place so it doesn't happen again over money.

            Anyway it was an example. This is his friend and an object of small value.

  • picklewizard on 20/11/2018 - 10:31
    +1

    OP only one other person has pointed this out - it was being used in their tent, but you seem to think someone external stole it… that doesn't add up.

    Your friends stole it mate.

  • MementoMori on 20/11/2018 - 10:47
    +10

    UPDATE:

    Last night my friend messaged me, she said she left it outside the next day when they left the camp and thinks it has been stolen (which is what I thought happened). She's said 'if you want we could give your ours as a replacement'.

    From memory they have the same UE Boom 2 just in a different colour.

    I'm thinking about accepting the offer, and also offering to go halves in a new one as an alternative (~$85 - bricks and mortor store price).

    • picklewizard on 20/11/2018 - 10:58
      +6

      "If you want"… accept that offer, but from the wording they sound reluctant to do so voluntarily.

      "she left it outside the next day when they left the camp" - where exactly? Why didn't she return it to you?

      I'm still sus.

    • mister_snrub on 20/11/2018 - 11:17
      +4

      Plus vote for giving updates!

      Sounds like your friend has come through. I reckon offering to go halves is a good idea so they don't feel so bad.

    • Pootie Tang on 20/11/2018 - 11:48

      Deffo split the cost.

      A lot of cynicism here. There is no doubt in my mind that an 'opportunistic' camper stole it. The fact your friend has offered hers is a testament to this. People make mistakes, move on. If something similar happens again then you can second guess it.

      • outlander on 20/11/2018 - 15:03
        +2

        Its testament to nothing. The worst people in the world are the ones who are willing to offer everything at the drop of the hat. Why? Because they never have any intention of delivering, and words are cheap.

        If I was in OPs shoes, I'd accept the offer, then once they'd handed over ownership of the device I'd return it to them, because accidents do happen and I wouldn't want to sour the friendship over something as pathetically little as $200. That said, 8 times out of 10 in these situations, the other party will find a reason not to hand it over, and then warp the story in their mind to justify it to themselves. In the case above, I would imagine they'd probably tell everyone that OP was careless with the speaker, then demanded they give him their's. Might even throw in a story about how he made the girlfriend so upset she was in tears

    • whooah1979 on 20/11/2018 - 12:06
      +1

      She's said 'if you want we could give your ours as a replacement'.
      From memory they have the same UE Boom 2 just in a different colour.

      Your friends sounds like decent people. Those that accused them of theft should hang their heads in shame.

      • abb on 20/11/2018 - 15:58
        +5

        Leaving a valuable, pocket-sized item in plain sight in a communal area isn't much better though.

        If I borrow $50 off a mate, I don't return it by sitting it on top of his letterbox…

    • Tiggrrrrr on 20/11/2018 - 13:50
      +2

      Last night your friend was reading the ozbargain forums…

    • zuuutoootuuu on 20/11/2018 - 18:53
      +2

      why did they just not bring their own in the first place? why go to the effort of getting you to bring yours?

      • outlander on 21/11/2018 - 12:13
        +3

        Because once upon a time they brought theirs, lent it to a friend and the inconsiderate person let it get stolen. They resolved never to let that happen again

    • trapper on 26/11/2018 - 15:23
      +1

      You're not automatically at fault if someone steals something while you are borrowing it, but there is a duty of care to take care of the item… leaving it unsecured outside is negligence.

      I would accept the offer.

  • CalamansiTree on 20/11/2018 - 11:56
    +3

    i wouldn't worry about it.. sure $200 is a lot of money.. but i've learnt not to let things like these get in the way of REAL friends.. i've a mate who borrowed $5k so he could start over in Canada (from the philippines). the fact that he's doing really well is money well spent on me. If he decides to pay me back, great! If he doesn't.. we're still great friends.

    • Pootie Tang on 20/11/2018 - 12:00
      +8

      Hi

      Can I borrow 5k?

      • CalamansiTree on 20/11/2018 - 14:19

        yes you can…
        ..

        the right question is will i lend you 5k?

        • h4zey on 20/11/2018 - 14:40

          so will you? don't keep us all waiting..

        • smartazz104 on 20/11/2018 - 18:21

          Well you got fooled once so…

  • bdl on 20/11/2018 - 12:20
    +4

    RELEVANT: https://imgur.com/a/UkXsfYr

    • MementoMori on 20/11/2018 - 13:47

      Hahaa nice one. Very relevant.

  • UFO on 20/11/2018 - 12:29
    +4

    *she said she left it outside the next day when they left the camp and thinks it has been stolen (which is what I thought happened). *

    Case closed.
    You let them use the device. Like an adult you assumed they'd look after your property until they could return it to you.
    Yes yes… assumptions and all that, but at the end of the day they were the last to use it and then left it unsecured for some gronk to take it away.

    Take the offer for halves on a new one. There's going to be resentment if you take their one, and resentment on your side by having a 2nds speaker that isn't yours.

    But seriously, who leaves a valuable item like that in a communal area like that on purpose. Idiots.
    They should buy you a new one!

    • whooah1979 on 20/11/2018 - 13:47

      They should buy you a new one!

      That would be unreasonable if op lent them a used item. Replace like for like or a different brand/model of similar value.

    • MementoMori on 20/11/2018 - 13:51

      Agree with your thoughts on the second hand one. On one hand, it is like for like (used for used), so that is good, but on the other, I will have the memory of the situation with me.

      I came up with an alternative idea, I am selling some second hand camping gear that I know they would be interested in. If they buy it at what I think is fair market price then I am happy to call it evens. I sell my thing I wanted to sell, they get some gear they wanted, in a way costing them $0 for the speaker.

      • [Deactivated] on 20/11/2018 - 20:26
        +1

        I would suggest to them that how about instead they just go halves In a new one.

  • Freezies on 20/11/2018 - 13:14
    +1

    If they were good friends, I can't imagine why they would just leave it out for you in a communal area rather than holding onto it to make sure you got it. Sounds dodgy. Friends wouldn't have done that, in fact, nobody I know would have done that as it's just common sense. Even if a stranger lent a speaker, it's your responsibility to look after it and return it.

    If for some unknown reason they did decide to leave it outside, then they should have offered to replace it without hesitation as a friend or any decent person would. Personally, I think it sounds suspect.

    Why did you message on FB and not call them? Sounds more like acquaintances. The fact that you have come here for the opinion of strangers should tell you that you know something is off. If you're going to take something away from this, It should be that you have sh*tty "friends".

  • pformag on 20/11/2018 - 14:26
    +1

    Next camping trip, OP's friends take out the "lost" speaker but have forgotten that it was OP's, to begin with.

  • banana365 on 20/11/2018 - 14:31

    You were playing your own choice of music in a campsite, surrounded by others who had no choice but to hear it, regardless of whether they liked the choice of music or whether they'd prefer peace and quiet (the reason a lot of people go camping). If I were camping there and saw the source of irritation unattended, I'd dump it in the nearest bin or down the long drop toilet.

    • h4zey on 20/11/2018 - 14:38
      +1

      instead of asking them to turn it down? at the end of the day, aren't they entitled for their own "peace" as well?

      • banana365 on 20/11/2018 - 14:48

        aren't they entitled for their own "peace" as well?

        With rights come responsibilities. If they're impinging on other people's right to enjoy camping in a place where it could be reasonably expected that there would be no music (loud or otherwise) then why should they retain the right to play music?

        I've asked people to turn down music at camp sites, sometimes it's easy, other times it can be very intimidating. Someone with less confidence or more concern for personal safety may not feel they can ask.

        • h4zey on 20/11/2018 - 14:52

          valid point. Back in the 80's people will bring guitar and sing along, nowadays everyone has a little gadget that play music/movies, so unless if I camp in non-camping site then I probably will not expect it to be quiet. However I also never camp so don't really know how it is now.

    • Lockieasy on 20/11/2018 - 17:49
      +1

      Actually that's a very good point and provides a motive for somebody to make the unlikely step to enter another's campsite and steal it.

      OP and friends need to not be such disruptive campers next time.

    • smartazz104 on 20/11/2018 - 18:23

      Yeah but you sound like a prude who would never go camping because there would be other people around.

      • banana365 on 20/11/2018 - 19:05

        Shit, better sell all my well used camping equipment then.

  • h4zey on 20/11/2018 - 14:37

    terrorise them until you got the new speaker!!

  • Herbse on 20/11/2018 - 15:25

    who needs friends when you can have a replacement speaker!!

  • Orpheon on 20/11/2018 - 18:34
    +9

    Roll the dice.

    Lawful Good: Accept fault, re-assure friends not to feel bad. Keep messaging the group in the hopes that someone took it by accident.
    Neutral Good: Altruistic Consequentialism - Partly your fault and partly your friends' - go halfsies on a new speaker.
    Chaotic Good: Turn on your phone's bluetooth and go on an adventure in search of your lost speaker, fight the one who stole it to reclaim your belonging.
    Lawful Neutral: You have some camp equipment you need to get rid of. If your friends buy it off you for market price you'll call things even.
    True Neutral: This is no one's fault, and this does not affect you in the grand scheme of things. Their friendship is worth more to you than the speaker.
    Chaotic Neutral: Flip a coin - Heads, you leave a paper bag of flaming dog shit on their doorstep to find. Tails, carry on with life.
    Lawful Evil: Justice - Demand they pay the full price of the speaker for losing it, threatening legal action if they don't.
    Neutral Evil: Retribution - What kind of a ditz purposefully leaves someone else's $200 speaker out to be stolen? Sign them up for political campaign emails and marketing calls.
    Chaotic Evil: Do what comes natural - what's that I hear? Lace their food with laxatives next time you meet for shits and giggles?

    You are Lawful Neutral OP. Personally, I would a combination of NG, NE & CG, but it's your call.

    • ntt on 21/11/2018 - 10:06
      +2

      I disagree with you:
      "Lawful Good: Accept Fault.." which one? for lending his speaker or for having lousy friends? His friend asked for a speaker, he gave it to her/them, they lost it, they have to compensate a reasonable one for his loss. simple as that.

      when I borrow some thing from my friends/neighbour, I always return it as before, or clean it. If I broke, make it wear or tear, I buy new replacement parts, no matter who they are, friends, neiboughrs, etc… because I'm not a d**k.

      Another fact raised my question: why a friend has the same speaker and still asked to borrow an identical one from OP??

    • MementoMori on 21/11/2018 - 15:16

      It's funny - when playing D&D as a kid I always thought myself as Neutral Good. Maybe that's why I thought of offering halves.

  • Prince K on 20/11/2018 - 20:26
    +1

    To be honest if you guys are truely good friends, you’d just brush it off, be more careful next time and forget about it.

  • CalmLemons on 20/11/2018 - 21:10

    first world problems. just chill and buy another.

    • idonotknowwhy on 21/11/2018 - 00:05
      +4

      We live in a first world country, that's why we encounter first world problems.

      • HighAndDry on 26/11/2018 - 17:28

        True, but it's also a good reason to have perspective, realise life isn't so bad, and not get caught up on the small stuff.

        Honestly? Even self interest, albeit enlightened self interest, will say that the amount of stressing and fretting people engage in over minor things will likely cause them more healthcare costs in the long-term that will outweigh any potential immediate savings.

        • idonotknowwhy on 26/11/2018 - 18:26

          Even self interest, albeit enlightened self interest, will say that the amount of stressing and fretting people engage in over minor things will likely cause them more healthcare costs in the long-term that will outweigh any potential immediate savings.

          Were we rational beings; this would work, but then rational beings wouldn't be getting emotional about these sorts of issues in the first place.
          Our brains measure things by comparing them with a baseline (this is why sales people use overpriced products as anchors to make the shit they're trying to sell you seem reasonably priced). Pain is relative. The most stressful problems that someone from a first world country experiences will feel just as bad to them as the worst problems someone in a third-world country feels to them (even though from a worldly-perspective, these seem like "first world problems".* But if you wanted to look at it hypothetically, shouldn't we always be trying to improve our conditions, even if they're already much better than other parts of the world? Or is there a time when we can just rest on our laurels?

          Honestly?

          Honestly, I just did my generic counter-reply to "first world problems" that I usually do when I see it.
          In actual fact, I don't see this particular issue as a FWP at all (and I'm not talking about the shitty speaker). Having shitty "friends" who don't care about you would feel just as bad in Australia as anywhere else.

          • Statistics regarding rates of depression and suicide across different countries would back this up.
          • HighAndDry on 26/11/2018 - 18:46

            @idonotknowwhy:

            Were we rational beings; this would work, but then rational beings wouldn't be getting emotional about these sorts of issues in the first place.

            True, but I refuse to believe that we have zero control over our emotions, even if our control is sporadic and weak at best. That's the entire point of trying to "get perspective" - because it will temper your emotions.

            Also why anxiety and other related issues are treatable with things other than medication (depending on severity, the patient, and to varying degrees of efficacy).

            Having shitty "friends" who don't care about you would feel just as bad in Australia as anywhere else.

            I disagree. Having shitty friends in a situation where you're not starving, have a stable job, have decent medical care, and otherwise live in a first world country, to me is far preferable than having shitty friends where you're starving, don't have a stable job, don't have medical care, or are living in Sub-Saharan Africa.

            • idonotknowwhy on 27/11/2018 - 07:06

              @HighAndDry: Pain is still relative, even if you have perspective. People born into poverty, who escape it and become wealthy/comfortable, adapt to their new baseline comfort levels over time, and then highly stressed out about FWPs.

              even if our control is sporadic and weak at best.

              Yeah, that was my point. I catch myself getting worked up over stupid little things all the time (eg. I get pissed off and fight when gearbest takes my money without shipping my packages, but at the end of the day I know it's only $30).

              Nitpick but there are people in this country with shitty friends living on the street who are

              starving, don't have a stable job, don't have medical care

              as well as super wealthy people in third world countries who also have shitty friends.
              I raise this point because some people assume that those born in first-world countries are all comfortable with and grew up with 2 parents, where as those born in third world countries all suffered hardships.

  • gimme on 21/11/2018 - 00:18
    +6

    Glad I have no friends and no such dilemmas

  • shaybisc on 21/11/2018 - 09:40

    I've never camped in a public campsite. They sound dreadful.

  • Levathian on 21/11/2018 - 10:28

    You have really shitty friends OP. They have no respect for you or your stuff.

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