[April Fools] 澳八根将全面中文化 (Announcement: OzBargain Is Changing to Chinese)

For those too sensitive to see it, yes it is an April Fools Day joke, something that we have been doing every year for the last couple of years. See our April Fools post in 2017 #1, 2017 #2, 2016, 2015, 2014 and 2013. See response.


Original Post
澳大利亚在改变,澳八根也需要改变

澳大利亚 2016 年人口调查指出:

  • 有超过五十万中国出生的华人住在澳大利亚
  • 十分之一的悉尼人口是华裔血统
  • 十万个中国留学生在澳大利亚的大学读书

因为地理上靠近远东邻邦,许多海外学生留下了成为居民以及越来越多的移民,澳大利亚的亚洲话是避免不了的。你只要看看去年澳八根网聚的照片和直播就知道-你将不难发现在在澳八根上占强势的人群是哪些!

但这不仅仅只关乎在澳大利亚的华人人口。还有就是中国的购买能力。最近十年来中国扫空了澳大利亚的奶粉鱼油,买了我们的房子,买了我们的农地,买了我们的煤矿,甚至还买了我们的政府官员。很明显地他们对便宜货也是很有兴趣的。几个星期前我与一个澳八根客聊天,他现在在另一家折扣网站工作,市场是在澳大利亚的中国人。他的网站突然挤爆从中国的访客来买澳洲这的奢侈品(iPhone X, 名牌包等等)假想澳八根也可借此打开有十四亿潜力的市场?喀亲!

所以为了更好地照顾不断改变的澳八根客以及让这网站打开更大的市场,澳八根决定改变它的方向。我们的主题色调将采用中国伟大的红色,而语言也将慢慢地转变为中文。在论坛里每当有人问应该学哪种语言,被推荐的绝对是中文。电视剧萤火虫与冲出宁静号早在十五年前就已经知道未来的人一方面用英文沟通,另一方面用中文粗话彼此诅咒,而我们都知道哪种表达方式更重要!

已完成的改变

  • 网站名从 OzBargain 改成澳八根,并以红色为主题色
  • 最上头选单改为中文
  • 公告都将用中文,但有介于一些土澳语言能力有限,将附上一小段英文概要
  • 主页上小米专用链接。这是澳八根最爱的一个中国品牌,但可惜的是他们还是没有赞助我们复活节的寻宝项目

其他改变计划

  • 要是访客从中国来,自动把价钱转换到人民币
  • Udemy 将提供学习普通话课程的优惠码
  • 房地产优惠讯息,特别是精英中学附近的
  • 链接到代购网站帮助你把所购买的运回中国

最后,谁然我们尚未与党的数据仓库订好协议,但敏感话题还是不要提,比如说西藏与台湾的独立等等。它们会在不通知情况下被和谐掉。

最最后。这边谁有马云叔叔的联络方式?想问问他有没有兴趣收购一个澳大利亚折扣分享网站…


Australia is changing, and so should OzBargain

According to 2016 census and various stats that I cannot be bothered linking to, there are now

  • More than 1/2 million China-born Chinese living in Australia.
  • More than 10% of Sydneysiders claim to have Chinese ancestry.
  • More than 100,000 Chinese overseas students studying in universities around Australia.

China & Australia Flags

With geographic proximity to our East-Asian neighbours, overseas students becoming permanent residents after graduation and increasing influx of immigration — Australia becoming more Asianised is inevitable. Taking a look at photos and livestream from previous year's OzBargain meetups, and it is not hard to figure out OzBargain's dominating demographic.

However it's more than just the Chinese population in Australia. It is also about China's purchasing power. Over the last decade China has cleared out our milk powder & fish oil, bought out our flats & houses, our farmlands, our coal mines and even our politicians — and they are obviously also looking for bargains. A few weeks ago I had a chat with an OzBargainer who now works at a competitor deal site targeting Chinese in Australia. Instead of local traffic, his site is flooded with visitors from China shopping for luxury products in Australia (iPhone X, designer bags, etc). Imagine opening up OzBargain to 1.4 billion potential shoppers?! Ka-ching!!

2018 OzBargain Meetup in Chatswood

So, to serve the ever-changing OzBargain demographic better AND to open this site to a huge potential market, OzBargain has also decided to change its course. OzBargain will now embrace the glorious Chinese-red (our new theme colour) and gradually change the language to Chinese. After all whenever "what language should I learn" got asked in the forums, the answer has always been Mandarin. Firefly/Serenity got it right 15 years ago — in the future most people will speak English and swear in Mandarin, and we all know which form of expression is more important.

Firefly Cursing in Chinese

What's Changing

  • Our name will be changed to ào bā gēn and theme colour to red.
  • Top navigation menu will all be changed to Chinese.
  • Announcement will be done in Chinese, and for those who are linguistic challenged, a brief English translation will also be included.
  • Dedicated Xiaomi link on the home page. That's the Chinese brand we all love. Unfortunately they still won't sponsor our Easter treasure hunt.

Planned Improvements

To realign with our future goal, these changes are planned for the rest of the year:

  • Automatically show prices in ¥ Renminbi if you are visiting from China. We just need a bit adjustment to our implementation last year.
  • Exclusive coupon code for free Mandarin lessons at Udemy.
  • Real Estate Bargains section, especially houses around Selective high schools.
  • Quick links to mail forwarding service to send Australian products back to China.

Finally, while we have not yet finalised a deal with CCP on their "data warehousing" project, it would be impolite to mention taboo subjects such as Tibet or Taiwan independence. These will be removed without notification.

PS: Anyone has Uncle Ma Yun's contact detail handy? I would like to ask him whether he is interested in acquiring a little Australian deal sharing website…

Comments

  • +1

    感受到深深地恶意。原来我们比印度人还差。

    • Poor baby, did it hurt your national pride?

  • Best shit ever

  • Think we should be converting to yuan now .. The Aussie peso is history. Mods when can we expect this to be implemented as Google currency conversion is driving me crazy ;)

  • Joke is fine but changing menu to Chinese pissed me off

  • This better be a prank !!!

  • +3

    I will come back tomorrow when this Chinese Crap is gone.

  • Oh April fool duh got me a nice one !

  • April fool day !!!!!dont stress guys ….

  • Funny hahaha…thought i had been hacked

  • Haha, Chinese is taking over Aus

  • April Fools??

  • that meet up pic tho lol

  • Hey is this April fools? Eventhough I am Chinese but I don't read and speak Chinese!

    • Pffftttt…mud blood!

  • +5

    this is kind of tasteless in 2018

  • 把脑残当幽默感

  • +2

    If you scared Chinese to buy everything in Australia? You are right.

  • haha this is great

  • 행복한 부활절

  • +13

    Disappointed in ozbargain, very racist April fool joke and invites all kinds of racist comments just look around the comment section now.

    • -3

      If you're looking for a politically correct leftist circle-jerk you'll get triggered less over at Tumblr.

    • -2

      Disappointment stems from flawed expectations.

  • +1

    nice way to make me think twice after entering the website this morning, totally forgot what day it was lol

  • +1

    我们加个微信吧!

  • 请问这是你自己写的吗

  • Sup

  • Australia will be a suburb of China in 10 20 years.

    • +1

      Province

  • I love that theres a xiaomi section in the categories

  • 愚人节吗?莫不是钓鱼贴看看有多少中国同胞23333

  • +3

    Not funny at all m8. Thats way too far

    • Haha good April Fools comment, you nearly got me there.

  • +8

    April Fools, and as a Chinese i don't like this joke.
    maybe is fun for some ppl but if u ar chinese and u keep c reply like

    Chinese pissed me off
    Chinese Crap

    or someones using google translater to pretend they ar chinese and making stupid comments,
    when this joke turns into racial remarks, i don't any FUN at all!!
    thx for ruining my day 澳鸡八根.

  • +2

    Domah this so crazy. Im totaLee not Happi

  • 中国第一!!!

  • +10

    Is quite offensive and bit racists this, even for April fools joke.

  • Squinting to read this

  • +1

    OHH MYY GOD! … this is what happens when we spam the forum with, and over saturate every single aspect if out lives with XIAOMI!!
    i tried to warn u all for years, and now its to late!!

  • +1

    I thought my PC was infected !!!

    • Restart it to get it fixed. Tried.

    • +1

      It probably is.

  • Incredible.

  • Someone earlier made a comment about Taiwan, and I replied "20 years jail for you". The comment (and my reply) have now disappeared. Mods?!

  • 搞笑!Nice try

  • Lol

  • Give it 24-36 months won’t be a prank!

  • +15

    Would you dare to replace all Chinese/China bit in this post with Jewish, aboriginals or English descendent and repost this again? See whether or not these community groups find it funny.

    You might think it's a joke, but definitely with a low taste.

    • +3

      I'd happily replace it with New Zealandish. They can give and take it.

      • +1

        i'm pretty sure the type of ribbing you get will be different however. easy to 'take it' when you know it's coming from friendly trans tasman rivalry than xenophobic vitriol

        • To tell the truth, an average episode of 'If you are the one' has more xenophobia and racism than this OzBargain joke. I love the program but it's racist AF. I remember the quote "He's dark skinned, but he's actually pretty calm", talking about a Chinese man. They'll reject candidates for having small Korean type eyes (their words, not mine) in a heartbeat and anecdotally, many reject foreigners outright. They'll pay out on the Shanghainese given any opportunity.

          I think people should see the bigger picture that this place is a shrine to China, home of the bargain.

    • -5

      of course chinese don't find this funny. They have zero humour and the sensitivity of a 3 yr old

  • Awesome

  • April 1 ok edited

  • Appears I woke up too early today!

  • +2

    Me laugh you long time.

    • Me 福 you long time.

    • Me raugh you wrong rime. Ausrayria!

  • -1

    Please tell me this is a fxxking joke!!!

  • I for one welcome our new Mandarin bargain lords.

    • +2

      I prefer Lemons

  • 太特么会玩了。。。。

  • +2

    这些白种人可真好笑。我们华裔是不会轻易放过你们的。尤其是这个叫Scooty!看我们怎么对付你!你等着看吧!

    • +7

      cant even spell Scotty
      LOL

    • 死国帝 是 贬低。(scooty is bootie)

  • +1

    Obviously, Scotty didn't have the guts to go all the way for the joke. Menu items are still in English. It's a relief for us.

  • +11

    This April Fool's is just a complicated ploy to out all the filthy racists, right?

    • +11

      Who would have thought there are so many of them…

      It's so depressingly unfunny

      • +5

        It's Australia, of course there are going to be a bunch of racist assholes. It's not like racism and xenophobia are new to our culture.

        Still disappointing though.

    • Just 1 star them so you know who to neg in the future.

      • So gang up?
        Bikies? or Mopeds?

  • 有意思

  • 1st april. Lol

  • 澳八根 ao ba gen - eight sources of Ao.

    死国帝 - scotty.

  • So any deals on cheap Mandarin lessons?

    • Go to hurtsville Chatswood Eastwood, freebies are the best!

  • DISGUSTING!!!

  • Down with China!! those commie scum

  • jeez this was an ill-thought out brainsnap, on par with the COTD ad for ball tampering kit

  • How about Koreans? There are also many Korean immigrants, students, businessman in Australia especially Sydney.

    Korea is no.1 👍🖕

  • This is not fun at all…

  • Then I vote Henson for PM

  • 厉害啦

  • -1

    CHINA NUMBER ONE

  • -6

    200 years in the future this country is gonna be Mini Asia , 22% Indian , 22% Chinese/etc , 17% Pacific Islanders (Polynesians, Melanesians) 25% mixed white people, 14% Middle-eastern

    ————————below line, kinda racist rant, you know you where gonna see in a comment section————————————————————————————-

    I couldn't get a Girlfriend because the majority of females where Asian ;-; , The rest of the females had Harems, at least 7+ guys to one Caucasian girl
    The good thing about Asians everywhere is a Lower crime rate, My bike was left out the front for 7+ years and never stolen

    Its wayyyy too late now but we should of had a European only policy "and not just the plain&ugly british" It would be nice to have european culture such as the swiss, german etc , Mini Europe , Kinda like a select utopia with less bogan culture ..or gone wrong destopia, oh well who knows what could of been

    • +1

      Its wayyyy too late now but we should of had a European only policy "and not just the plain&ugly british" It would be nice to have european culture such as the swiss, german etc , Mini Europe , Kinda like a select utopia with less bogan culture ..or gone wrong destopia, oh well who knows what could of been

      A "whites only" utopia you're saying ?
      You vote one-nation too, I guess …

      • Can't tell if this is a joke or racist af

        • He's racist. We don't need people like this in our society.

    • Well we started with gutter trash? why all antsy about it now?

    • +1

      This is either brilliant satire, or you're just stupid.

    • I couldn't get a Girlfriend

      Now why doesn't that surprise me (now, or in your hypothetical future)! Even in your imagination, women don't want you - now that's sad😢

      And why would you choose to forego a relationship if not with a white women, assuming that is your choice??

      As for mixed white people - everone is 'mixed'😱
      Seems you are from 200 years in the past!

      It's 2018 & Australia said YES - I'm sure you're some racist guy's wet dream. No need to be lonely. Have fun😀

      Username Most Wanted must be ironic.

      • This whole thread is for lonely guys without a girlfriend

  • You will like the new site (or you will disappear!)

  • +12

    Being of Chinese background… but born here… I still consider this as pretty offensive. I know how to take the piss out of myself… But this is a bit too much in all honesty

    • +4

      Being chinese myself and born in another asian country (but not any chinese disputed countries), I definitely feel the same, a bit too much!

      I think ozbargain has not managed this transition properly. They could have at least forwarded everyone an email announcing this a few days in advance. When I woke up and saw the ozbargain site on my phone, I thought my phone had been breach or infected with a virus, with my personal information being hacked

    • -4

      you're born here but i bet your loyalty is still to china..

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