[April Fools] 澳八根将全面中文化 (Announcement: OzBargain Is Changing to Chinese)

For those too sensitive to see it, yes it is an April Fools Day joke, something that we have been doing every year for the last couple of years. See our April Fools post in 2017 #1, 2017 #2, 2016, 2015, 2014 and 2013. See response.


Original Post
澳大利亚在改变,澳八根也需要改变

澳大利亚 2016 年人口调查指出:

  • 有超过五十万中国出生的华人住在澳大利亚
  • 十分之一的悉尼人口是华裔血统
  • 十万个中国留学生在澳大利亚的大学读书

因为地理上靠近远东邻邦,许多海外学生留下了成为居民以及越来越多的移民,澳大利亚的亚洲话是避免不了的。你只要看看去年澳八根网聚的照片和直播就知道-你将不难发现在在澳八根上占强势的人群是哪些!

但这不仅仅只关乎在澳大利亚的华人人口。还有就是中国的购买能力。最近十年来中国扫空了澳大利亚的奶粉鱼油,买了我们的房子,买了我们的农地,买了我们的煤矿,甚至还买了我们的政府官员。很明显地他们对便宜货也是很有兴趣的。几个星期前我与一个澳八根客聊天,他现在在另一家折扣网站工作,市场是在澳大利亚的中国人。他的网站突然挤爆从中国的访客来买澳洲这的奢侈品(iPhone X, 名牌包等等)假想澳八根也可借此打开有十四亿潜力的市场?喀亲!

所以为了更好地照顾不断改变的澳八根客以及让这网站打开更大的市场,澳八根决定改变它的方向。我们的主题色调将采用中国伟大的红色,而语言也将慢慢地转变为中文。在论坛里每当有人问应该学哪种语言,被推荐的绝对是中文。电视剧萤火虫与冲出宁静号早在十五年前就已经知道未来的人一方面用英文沟通,另一方面用中文粗话彼此诅咒,而我们都知道哪种表达方式更重要!

已完成的改变

  • 网站名从 OzBargain 改成澳八根,并以红色为主题色
  • 最上头选单改为中文
  • 公告都将用中文,但有介于一些土澳语言能力有限,将附上一小段英文概要
  • 主页上小米专用链接。这是澳八根最爱的一个中国品牌,但可惜的是他们还是没有赞助我们复活节的寻宝项目

其他改变计划

  • 要是访客从中国来,自动把价钱转换到人民币
  • Udemy 将提供学习普通话课程的优惠码
  • 房地产优惠讯息,特别是精英中学附近的
  • 链接到代购网站帮助你把所购买的运回中国

最后,谁然我们尚未与党的数据仓库订好协议,但敏感话题还是不要提,比如说西藏与台湾的独立等等。它们会在不通知情况下被和谐掉。

最最后。这边谁有马云叔叔的联络方式?想问问他有没有兴趣收购一个澳大利亚折扣分享网站…


Australia is changing, and so should OzBargain

According to 2016 census and various stats that I cannot be bothered linking to, there are now

  • More than 1/2 million China-born Chinese living in Australia.
  • More than 10% of Sydneysiders claim to have Chinese ancestry.
  • More than 100,000 Chinese overseas students studying in universities around Australia.

China & Australia Flags

With geographic proximity to our East-Asian neighbours, overseas students becoming permanent residents after graduation and increasing influx of immigration — Australia becoming more Asianised is inevitable. Taking a look at photos and livestream from previous year's OzBargain meetups, and it is not hard to figure out OzBargain's dominating demographic.

However it's more than just the Chinese population in Australia. It is also about China's purchasing power. Over the last decade China has cleared out our milk powder & fish oil, bought out our flats & houses, our farmlands, our coal mines and even our politicians — and they are obviously also looking for bargains. A few weeks ago I had a chat with an OzBargainer who now works at a competitor deal site targeting Chinese in Australia. Instead of local traffic, his site is flooded with visitors from China shopping for luxury products in Australia (iPhone X, designer bags, etc). Imagine opening up OzBargain to 1.4 billion potential shoppers?! Ka-ching!!

2018 OzBargain Meetup in Chatswood

So, to serve the ever-changing OzBargain demographic better AND to open this site to a huge potential market, OzBargain has also decided to change its course. OzBargain will now embrace the glorious Chinese-red (our new theme colour) and gradually change the language to Chinese. After all whenever "what language should I learn" got asked in the forums, the answer has always been Mandarin. Firefly/Serenity got it right 15 years ago — in the future most people will speak English and swear in Mandarin, and we all know which form of expression is more important.

Firefly Cursing in Chinese

What's Changing

  • Our name will be changed to ào bā gēn and theme colour to red.
  • Top navigation menu will all be changed to Chinese.
  • Announcement will be done in Chinese, and for those who are linguistic challenged, a brief English translation will also be included.
  • Dedicated Xiaomi link on the home page. That's the Chinese brand we all love. Unfortunately they still won't sponsor our Easter treasure hunt.

Planned Improvements

To realign with our future goal, these changes are planned for the rest of the year:

  • Automatically show prices in ¥ Renminbi if you are visiting from China. We just need a bit adjustment to our implementation last year.
  • Exclusive coupon code for free Mandarin lessons at Udemy.
  • Real Estate Bargains section, especially houses around Selective high schools.
  • Quick links to mail forwarding service to send Australian products back to China.

Finally, while we have not yet finalised a deal with CCP on their "data warehousing" project, it would be impolite to mention taboo subjects such as Tibet or Taiwan independence. These will be removed without notification.

PS: Anyone has Uncle Ma Yun's contact detail handy? I would like to ask him whether he is interested in acquiring a little Australian deal sharing website…

Comments

  • Curse in chinese can ma?

    • +1

      Our profanity filter has not yet been updated so we'll have to hire some 50cent army to policy the curse words here.

      • When will it be updated? Is my post going to be re moved? Fyi, my post is against your point of view and favors to China.

  • -1

    This is so unaustralian

    • give it a few more decades

  • -2

    Woohoo! Happy April’s Fool!

  • +5

    大家好,我是马云,我已经收购了这个网站. Hello everyone i am Yun Ma Jack. I have purchased this website please install chinese Windows to view all deals.

  • Tai Hao le

  • +1

    This country is not sold yet, guys , still aus and eng . Too much complecation now. I can bet , every single ppl in this country atlist know the letter "A" but most of ppl doesn't know "月" . Any way ozbargain is not the first , but will not be last too. It will not take time find, built, another one .By the way I live here but I am from other county too . I have got my own language too , but I prefer eng coz everyone knoes it
    Its easy and simple , and the main thing is this is a eng county. Any way guys . I am over it

    • Mwahahahahahaha

    • はじめまして。

      • どうぞよろしく!

  • +5

    What a load of crap.

  • +2

    Sum ting wong!

  • -1

    Lol April fools. Where's my noodles special :p

  • Nice…. Though means Pauline Hanson won't be posting any more deals in the future..

  • Happy Easter every1!!!

  • Hahaha. Too funny guys. Love the Xiaomi only category section.

    • This section should be permanent!

  • +4

    I blame Russia

    • +1

      Lol..good one

  • +5

    for some reason my hourly rate just changed to $6 and a bowl of rice
    ive been downsized from 6ft1 to 5ft 2
    there is this big hat on my head
    and i have this strange urge to stand in a park and move my body around in slow motion

  • +1

    Holy s**t. Just woke up and saw this. 笑死了

  • +1

    i would have been truely impressed if the new social credit score system had been implemented and there was a number rating next to every user's name. beijing will not be happy.

  • +1

    I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords.

    Happy April Fools!

  • +1

    My friend Yew Fat Kok welcomes this change.

  • +4

    Absolutely wonderful!! This is politically incorrect, Aussie Humour at it's best!!

    Love it :-)

  • +1

    The Shinese will face stiff competition from the South Sudanese, fight to the death!

  • +5

    I am Chinese, you have offended me and the Shaolin temple!

    • Dishonour

    • Oh, goodness. Will an offering of great political influence and resource-rich land demonstrate sufficient contrition?

    • Death by MSG

  • First our powerlines then our phones now our bargains!

  • +3

    I can see people nervously laughing as this hits home when people have chinese dashcams or bluetooth speakers which already talk to them in chinese

  • +1

    早上起來一打開就看到這個。。。LOL
    Although i would've translated OzBargain as 奧斯八根

  • Under China's Social Credit system most OzBargainers would be considered untrustworthy and not allowed to board flights. Good bye travel deals.

  • Laowai? I thought I was SydneySwan!

    • Nah you are just a random gwailow…for today only

      • I believe the word is gweilo. I am a ghost.

    • 悉尼天鹅

    • +1

      At least you stood out. I was but one of the many asians.

  • +3

    I know it's April fools but this isn't going to go down so well …

    • +5

      There are quite a few OzBargainers who really hate everything Chinese and don't realise most OzBargainers actually are. Just look at the meetups!

      • AngryChicken is going to be angry.

  • +5

    (‘84) Australia has ALWAYS been part of China - “One country, two system.”
    OzBargain, leading the way to our glorious reunification.

  • +1




















    • +1

      That's easy for You to say!

  • Je voudrais de soleil vert.

    • Fxxx, speak English!!!(bus window broken)

      • -1

        Generalising Australians as intolerant violent criminals?

        The real racist here is you.

  • Does this mean free xiaomi for everyone?

  • Sure, why not.

  • Awesome! About time.
    Also, now that we have currency and intimate relationship with the Worlds#1 country, can we ask them to step in and help in the negotiations for the return of our diplomats to the Worlds#2 country(俄国)?

  • Where's the latest baby formula bargain?! (A2 stage 3 anyone? )

  • Simplified Chinese is more inversely, I've been told.

  • +2
    Merged from Why Is OzBargain Changing Languages to Chinese

    Hi,
    Does anyone one know why is ozbargain is changing languages to Chinese and what happens if you can’t read Chinese. I am very confused why ozbargain can’t just make a different website for Chinese language or make a language preference.

    • +5

      Can’t you speak Chinese yet? But it’s the worlds most widely spoken language, Time to adapt!

    • No

    • +1

      Is this just April’s fools or what

      • -1

        Yes it is

      • I was just freaking the (profanity) out until I saw the date in the bottom right lol.

      • +4

        we should have left them hanging for a bit longer lol

    • If it is well done ozbargain

    • has anyone seen alliexpess ? they've changed to ozbargain. exchange students

    • HHaaahahaha 1st april FOOL DAY. lol.

    • Because China number 1

    • far out.
      Thought my VPN was connected to HK server. Total got me.

  • 可是我不会说中文。。。

  • xiaomi cars?

    • +1

      The new xiaomu car "Long Glorious March" will be released later this year. Apart from the regular Chinese breaks made by the "As Best OS" company they also offer advanced communication devices. These will monitor your driving and thoughts and advise you should you stray from the path. Politicians as always get a discount in exchange for freindly relations. We have a Senate vacancy for a scholarship.

  • +11

    I feel uncomfortable to read this post. Isn't this racism even as a joke?

    • +4

      Nice joke there. Its not racist to speak another language.

    • Depends on who gains (edit: and by how much).

    • +2

      Less than 5 percent of Australian population are Chinese from mainland in fact. Chinese investors are facing most tough regulations/rules from Australian government compare to investor from any other country. And Australian blame most their problem to China???
      And Buying cheap politicians? Because one of Australian politician had a dinner with a businessman from China…

      I always find all of this is funny.

      The hate towards to China is real though.
      I hope this is a April fool.

      PS. In this year, negative gearing will be fixed.

      • Proven.

        • +1

          Not everything can use April fool as excuse to cover up.

  • +2

    Happy April Fools Everyone.. Wow such a great prank this is!!! The Chinese are taking over :O

  • +1

    Happy april fools day

  • -1

    Right, off the to Registry Office, this announcement has convinced me to change my name to Tup Sum Bong…..

    Wait….Happy April Fools Day!

    PS: Bose QC35 FTW ☺️…..

  • +2

    这个笑话不好笑。
    Not funny at all

  • -3

    time to change new name ? any suggestion ? meow meow, princess pee pee, wee wee..

    • -2

      How about Phuc Dat Bich?

    • Tin can

  • -1

    My order is simple. A shitload of dim sims & a bucket of soya sauce!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUsNE4hW0fQ&t=0m21s

  • 吓死人咩

  • +2

    Hahaha. April Fool's Day. Nice one 👍👍👍

  • http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-31/chinas-social-credit-s…

    Listen, I've taken all your details to the PRC. You will soon get a social score. Because you all are little children, and mother (Ccp) knows best for you.

  • +2

    Well, in Sydney there are Chinese restaurant spruikers everywhere, I keep getting offered Cream of Sum Yung Gai. Especially around the mardi gras. This is all inevitable.

  • +1

    Made my day

  • +3

    It is really not funny

  • Haha love it 😂😂😂, made up for the kids waking us at 6 for the Easter hunt!!!

  • lol well done guys!

  • Definitely an improvement.

  • |_________________________________________
    |* * * * * |##########################|
    | * * * * | |
    |
    * * * * |##########################|
    | * * * * | |
    |
    * * * * |##########################|
    | * * * * | |
    |
    * * * * |##########################|
    |~~~ |
    |#########################################|
    | |
    |#########################################|
    | |
    |#########################################|
    |~~~~~~~~~~

  • +7

    This doesn't worry me as much as the time OzBargain was bought by CatchOfTheDay.

  • Good to see, knee how to our new Chinese overlords, and welcome to Ozoru Bargaino

  • Was ich nicht mag ist, dass die Drop-Down-Menüs immer noch Englisch erscheinen.

  • Nearly had me, until I checked the date. Good one.

  • lol.

    钛了我开眼金的打狗网页亮瞎一早

    Whatever that means, Asian pride!

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