Neighbour Wants Us to Change Laundry Detergent

LJohn Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 12:59
Last edited 05/01/2017 - 12:41

Hi all,

Happy new year!

Wondering what everyone would do in my situation. Would you agree/comply? Or would you ignore the email hoping to never bump into them in person? Would you stand your ground and not switch (probably damaging the relationship)? Would you do something else?

Brief background:
I live in a 4 unit block where the shared laundry is beneath Unit 1. The owner of Unit 1 has emailed us on NYE asking us to change to a sensitive laundry detergent (eg OMO Sensitive) as it supposedly has no added/artificial fragrance. She states she has become extremely sensitive to artificial fragrances and it is impacting her health… Something called "second hand fragrance".

We've already as a group agreed to restrict the times we are allowed to use the laundry room and spent a few grand of strata funds to renovate the laundry to reduce the noise from the dryers. The other two units seemed to have changed their detergents, so I am thinking it is probably just easier to just switch to avoid any further conflict…despite my reluctance on principle.

This is the most recent complaint of many since we bought out unit…she has complained about multiple things impacting 3 of her 5 senses in that time already… Just waiting on complaints relating to taste and touch now…

Whilst we are not close for other reasons, we are civil to each other and I have nothing against her (apart from the regular complaints about various things), so I wouldn't want it to turn into an ACA exclusive story. On one hand I feel sorry for her if smells and sounds from the laundry room is reducing her quality of life, but on the other I feel like she has no right to dictate what detergent we use… We have already compromised and restricted when we can use the laundry room (which is very inconvenient at times), so I feel like this is pushing the limit somewhat.

Email:

For the last couple of months I have noticed you have changed your laundry detergent to a brand or type that is stronger smelling together with the fact that you are now using your dryers a lot more. This was previously only a problem with unit 3, so I had to speak to them again and the difference since they changed has been a significant improvement.

I have become very sensitive to strong smelling artificial fragrances and can not stand my bedroom and apartment smelling like a steamy laundry, so further to the email I sent previously below, which at the time was essentially directed to unit 3, can you please change your detergent to a 'sensitive type' preferably all the time but especially when using dryers as I am unable to open my windows for fresh air, which is essential for my health and well being. I understand detergents are expensive so I always stock up when on sale at half price, Woolworths currently have half price sale of OMO sensitive, but most brands also has a version.

I can post the original email she sent to all units in May also if anyone is interested.

EDIT: Thank you all for your input, at least I'm not the only one thinking it is unreasonable in some respects.

Was just at my cousin's place telling her about my predicament and she gave me half a bottle of liquid OMO sensitive! She said she doesn't like it or use it, prefers the powder Aldi one. Winning!

So I think I will send her something along these lines:

Hi <name>,

Firstly I just want it on record that I dispute that we have been using "our dryer a lot more". I always try to use the line where possible to save money on electricity and because the dryer damages the clothes. I would think if our laundry usage has increased (on average), then it would have been since our daughter has been born?

Having said this, we will start using sensitive going forward when we know we will be using the dryer. Please be aware there will probably be a period of transition whilst we finish up our current detergent and are able to buy the sensitive detergent on sale.

Cheers,
<name>

Poll Options

  • 15
    Change Detergent
  • 79
    Don't Change Detergent
  • 15
    Other (e.g. Change with but with conditions)
Home & Garden

Comments

        • [Deactivated] on 05/01/2017 - 11:46
          -3

          @Frugal Rock: You are bordering harassment leave it alone

        • Your Friend on 05/01/2017 - 18:59
          +1

          @carlb: ahahahahahhaahh

  • payless69 on 05/01/2017 - 11:00
    +1

    my missus uses nothing but Nappy San now just called Vanish (pink Jar), just much less. Laundry gets clean, machines have not died and I smell nothing and she always buys it when on special, sometimes half price. We got a LG and a Samsung front loader

    • John Kimble on 05/01/2017 - 11:05

      Really? I thought you were meant to use that in addition to laundry detergent…interesting. I mainly use it to soak stains/baby clothes…but I also pour the water from the soaking bucket into the machine too.

      • payless69 on 05/01/2017 - 11:09
        +1

        when she started that I tried to caution her thinking it will wreck the machine. But she proved me wrong and as she is at work now I just done a load and one has to dose it with care as it is so concentrated. Sometimes we use some softener and that is what I smell very quickly. We also got a jar of the white version and just use that one for my white shirts only.

  • jacross on 05/01/2017 - 11:26
    +4

    I'm not in principle against assisting her with this change and was pretty in favour until I read the wording of her email.

    It seems a little…dickish.

    Personally I'd write back letting her know I'll add her desires to my decision matrix going forward and for her present ease of mind, have obtained a bottle of sensitive detergent.

  • WT on 05/01/2017 - 12:30

    This crazy woman has created a 5 page discussion on a website she probably doesnt even use, wasting the productivity of at least 50 people on her trivial "sensitivities"

    Put a poll up if you really want a Yes/No vote. Further discussion is futile. If it was a legitimate complaint it would have gone through strata/strata committee. I can tell you now, if it went to NCAT it would be thrown out, not that it would ever get there.

    Considering you have all financially contributed to making her place more livable/attractive, increasing her resale value without increasing your own, even though her place is the cheapest being above an undesirable common area.

    • John Kimble on 05/01/2017 - 12:38
      +1

      I'm hoping she doesn't use the website!!! haha

      I've had fun reading the responses at the very least…don't have much work on this time of year, everyone still on holidays…

      I was thinking about a poll, but couldn't think of the best poll options…might add one, but I think the horse has bolted on that somewhat…

      • NotCheap on 05/01/2017 - 13:21

        Good - so you've got time to follow her to work then we can search the internet for other stories about a crazy woman in the workplace :)

        Im hanging out for her to have a special office with special lighting, facing a particular way, painted a particular colour, with no natural light or reflective surfaces and positive air pressure with only 100% fresh air from seperate filtration system thats changed every 29 days…. ahhhh

      • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 09:07

        what is her details we can ask her?

  • Realtightarse on 05/01/2017 - 15:44
    +5

    Here it is…… Simply ask her to supply a box or 2 of detergent for GOODWILL , you will use it. If she agrees , that is great.(shows she is a little flexible and wants the problem solved) If she bluntly says NO, i would continue on with your life using the dryer with your stuff whenever you like. If she can't fork out a once off $10 to save her from all this terrible burden, she is a drama queen bullshitting you and the neighbours. If you got a sore tooth you would pay $300 to fix it on the spot right?..

    Treat the above as a test.

    Try this and see how you go.
    p.s Where are you located anyway?
    Let us know how you go.

    • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 10:52
      -1

      that is an example that recipes changes and reactions change. and why my construction suggestion was the lady purchase and gift the preferred product monthly which may be different from time to time.

      "I have become very sensitive to strong smelling artificial fragrances and can not stand my bedroom and apartment smelling like a steamy laundry, "

      I figure you are trying to be ironic however The lady was concerned about highly dense smell in the laundry drifting through to her apartment caused by the fragrance and or compound chemicals of full strength detergents 'NOT' the itchiness or allergy.
      that product may still be suitable and not really ironic at all

      I'm sure if your neighbor started placing a highly smelly object on their property but next to your window you'd consider politely asking for it to be moved.

      • John Kimble on 06/01/2017 - 10:57

        I was just kidding, yes. I wouldn't use that product for my own family's sake if those reviews are correct.

        And although I like your idea of suggesting she provide the detergent at her cost, I doubt she will go for it. In any case, I would like some control over which detergent I use (even if it may now be restricted somewhat to ones in the "sensitive range").

        • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 11:18

          "For the last couple of months I have noticed you have changed your laundry detergent to a brand or type that is stronger smelling"

          I am pretty sure she asked to change back to what the OP used to use, and had a recommendation that she happens to like sensitive. It is still good manners to change back to the old type and pass on the sensitive type.

          Buying sensitive branded one is the more empathetic compassionate response is not really a minimum requirement to being well mannered.

        • John Kimble on 06/01/2017 - 11:26

          @carlb:

          The point I think everyone is upset about (and myself to some extent) is that I should have the freedom to use whatever I like or change detergents if I choose to.

          Having said this, we have used Dynamo for as long a I can remember (no idea why).

          The only reason it changed recently (it is still Dynamo, just a new variant) was because we order online (due to being without a car) and because they didn't have it in stock they substituted it!

        • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 11:51

          @John Kimble:

          I'd like the freedom to use a jack hammer as 2am to fix my driveway, however alas neighbors don't like this.

          and freedom to park my car on the middle of the roundabout near my house like i seen in Russia Cyprus and Israel. however alas this is deemed dangerous to cars entering the round about who can't see any more.

          She isn't impeding on freedom but exercising her freedom to kindly ask to your consideration.
          you still have freedom of choice, choice to assist and be polite or not

          as you too still also have freedom to kindly ask your neighbors to not make loud noises after x time as it disturbs your family, or store their dirty shoes in the common area corridor.
          You still have the freedom to choose same detergent or any multitude of thousands of different detergents,
          but being courteous to neighbors is very valuable, particularly when you wish to exercise your freedom to request a change to common areas.

          At the end of the day this is all a moot point because you don't plan continuing with this product you didn't choose in the first place.

          I hear freedom a lot as a scapegoat however freedom is two sided
          freedom to bear arms vs freedom to feel safe away from guns,
          freedom to smoke indoors vs freedom of to be indoors and not forced to smoke
          freedom to satisfy fantasy vs freedom to not be raped

        • John Kimble on 06/01/2017 - 11:59
          +1

          @carlb: I see your point, but the majority of your examples are extreme and/or illegal, so I don't see how they are very relevant in relation to this particular discussion.

        • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 12:30
          +1

          @John Kimble:

          basically at some stage many things have been classified as freedom in history but today are given the moniker illegal
          from time to time freedoms are in fact lost, however be assured you have not lost any freedom in this life event.

          just an open sharing from a concerned neighbor, you're a nice guy I'm sure you will do the choice you feel is right.

          You're type and brand of washing detergent certainly isn't high value freedom
          fact is there are millions of washing detergents that governments block from being sold through chemical bans, testing requirements, licence fees. I wouldn't call that a breach of our freedom to choose lead or arsenic based cleaning powder.

          further supermarkets and conglomerates restrict the availability of brands and products particularly small manufacturers from store shelves I wouldn't call that a breach of our freedom to choose based cleaning powder.

  • dazzawul on 05/01/2017 - 15:59
    +4

    Simple mate, get a "sensitive" container, fill it with your regular poison, and watch her sing like a canary.

    My mum used to pull this nonsense all the time, she'd develop 'allergies' at convenient times and try to use that as leverage to get people around her to do what she wanted or to stir up drama.
    Play her game then reveal later that you've been taking the piss, should be good for lulz if nothing else, your time is already being wasted so why not add some value :)

  • wannagrababargain on 05/01/2017 - 17:00
    -1

    The first question to ask is how this person even has your email address in the first place.

    • cst on 06/01/2017 - 08:12
      -1

      I discovered that my hopeless body corporate prints all our email addresses, without our permission, on every notice it sends to the owners.

  • syousef on 05/01/2017 - 18:08
    +1

    The advice in this thread is truly disappointing.

  • adventurer96 on 06/01/2017 - 10:36
    +1

    Hi John, We have a difficult neighbour too but it is easier in the end to gracefully give in where you can. It causes less angst. Try and imagine if you go head to head what the end consequences can be - unfriendly neighbour, etc. whoever cannot take the stress will probably look to move.
    Why not think of it as your 2017 good work by just changing to sensitive detergent? It's a plus for you! I'm not the easy going person but not being on friendly terms with your neighbour is really stressful. "All the world needs is love".
    Happy New Year 2017, all ozbargainers!

    • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 10:44
      +1

      be prepared for cross thread harassment from the 'human rights to be a bigot brigade'

    • John Kimble on 06/01/2017 - 10:54
      +1

      Yes, I've taken the repercussions into consideration and have already made the decision to change detergents after reading some of the comments from fellow members (which I was leaning towards anyway).

      It's all relative, I'm just glad I don't live next to the neighbour in this post!

      https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/273850

      • shrugies on 08/09/2018 - 17:39

        Just posted to add my 2c but I'm glad you decided to change :) Your original email and plan was a good idea. It's no skin off your butt and you're doing something selfless to help someone else out, with little cost to you :D

  • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 14:56
    -2

    lmao OP

    You post here asking for advice, ignore all advice and do exactly the opposite of what everyone has said to do (including the poll)

    ban the OP for wasting peoples time

    • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 14:59

      i'm sure majority is not always the best advice
      I'm sure if you asked, a majority of people want to pay no taxes , but then we'd have no hospitals or roads

      • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 15:07
        +1

        comparing the economy to laundry detergent is a big step

        • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 15:29
          +1

          majority is always right was your assertion, there are lots of things in life that a majority may want but doesn't happen.

          I imagine a majority of people surveyed
          don't want to sign legal papers,
          don't want to go to english class at school,
          want a better job,
          want Hilary Clinton president.
          Don't want anyone to be homeless.

          At some stage a majority believed the earth was centre of universe and the earth was flat.

          majority Doesn't automatically mean that is has to be accepted as the only choice or as fact.

    • John Kimble on 06/01/2017 - 15:18
      +6

      Technically I didn't ask for advice, I asked what people would do in my situation.

      For arguments sake, even if I did ask for advice, I haven't ignored anything. I've read and considered almost all posts, but have made a decision that would have the best possible outcome for me and my family.

      I haven't forced anyone to post/participate so I cannot be blamed for so called "waste of time".

      Like anything, there is a lot more to it, and whilst I could have provided the entire history, my initial post was lengthy enough that many people didn't even read fully or properly anyway…

      Lastly, half of the things people have said are things (reasonable law abiding) people might say online but would never do anyway. Eg piss on someone or take a dump on their doorstep.

      • [Deactivated] on 06/01/2017 - 15:44

        like you said using the dryer more is none of her business, and also cannot be proved as being true since it is a shared space. If true anyway lets not forget the wet weather in may.

        This thread has certainly bought the worst of society behavior, opinions mostly of hate and abuse from which many appear to be based on only reading the first couple of lines or even just picked out key words (impacting her health , complained about multiple things, asking us to change)

      • syousef on 07/01/2017 - 10:06
        +3

        "Technically I didn't ask for advice, I asked what people would do in my situation."

        I don't think you should be attacked but "What would you do" is definitely asking for advice.

      • shaybisc on 23/01/2017 - 13:14

        The serious health issues linked to chemicals that give products their fragrance

        The chemicals used to give products their fragrance have long been suspected of causing allergies, respiratory problems and headaches. As Kate Grenville discovers, they may be a lot more sinister than that.

        Kate Grenville

        Edited extract from The Case Against Fragrance (Text Publishing), out on Thursday.

        http://www.smh.com.au/good-weekend/the-serious-health-issues…

    • tonka on 06/01/2017 - 19:59
      +1

      lol, You may have a different Internet than me. it's entirely possible that anonymous advice on the net is how you discover what not to do.

  • Epyc on 07/01/2017 - 09:27
    +2

    My only regret in 2016 was not telling more people to "f**k off".

  • rooon on 07/01/2017 - 10:08

    I would tell her to get her own washer / dryer or supply the detergent for everyone.

  • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2017 - 11:04
    +1

    It's great that you are at least giving OMO sensitive a go. Being chemically sensitive unfortunately means that in order to avoid being sick all the time, people with the illness need others to know something of their illness. We don't enjoy having to disclose personal and private medical information to others. Some of the comments are extremely cruel. I myself suffer severe migraines and chronic fatigue if I am exposed to too many fragranced and chemical based products - yes - they are everywhere - but in my life I am met with 90% kindness and compassion - places I frequent…people know to smoke away from me, or if I move away from scented others - in my locality they understand my condition and take no offence. In this case your neighbour cannot escape the fumes from the laundry room. As many of you have made assumptions on her chareacter/sanity….I think I would be safe to assume that she has tried everything to cope before being forced to ask fir assistance.

    To suggest faking changing products is actually going to this person physically ill…are you really the kind of person who would do that? So sad if you would take some of the advice here. You and your neighbour bith have the right to enjoyment and to be safe in your homes.

    Just something to note. People with chemical sensitivities are protected under Federal legislation - Disability Discrimination Act 1992, and in effect many of the cruel comments are discriminatory. I study with this illness. No-one ever questions my sanity —— on the contrary my university is bound by law to accomodate my condition to be inclusive - I have never had to throw the legislation out there, I am simply helped. This will horrify many commentors here. My classmates and teachers are all required to be fragrance free so I can attend. And they do so with kindness and compassion!! And curiosity…enabling me to give them alternatives to such things as even deodorants!! I dread every start of semester. I hate imposing this on others. I hace struggled to even accept this help. But I have to rebuild a livelihood after developing this debilitating illness.

    Go ahead and do some research…there are researchers out there measuring volatile organic compounds emmitted from everyday products. Just because your neighbours illness isn't visible to you, doesn't mean it is non-existent or all in her head. I'm glad my neighbours actually will spend time talking with me and learn about my condition from me rather than post on forums like this one.

    Google Victorian Hospital Guidelines for People with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (a few states have them now) - remember in the 70s…no-one believed the asthmatic couldn't breathe?? There is new science coming out all the time. Read through the guidelines please, and be happy you aren't being asked to wash your clothes in bicarb and vinegar. BTW - I use Aware Sensitive (not the scented one) & another newer productline is Abode cleaning products….which are petrochemical free and probs better for your familys health.

    Being a person much like your neighbour…I am grateful everyday for the help I get from friends family and my university. My life would be terribly isolated and lonely without it. A little kindness goes a long way. This is a condition you would not wish on your worst enemy. I won't respond to negative comments directed at me. I'm extremely saddened by the lack of empathy shown here….

    • bargaino on 15/01/2017 - 16:08

      To suggest faking changing products is actually going to this person physically ill…

      As an MCS sufferer, you should be aware that the condition is highly sensitive to placebos.
      If the faking is convincing, it will relieve the symptoms.

  • Repunzal on 10/01/2017 - 12:55

    Personally, i think she is really a selfish person, why other people need to live the way she like.

  • Thefong on 10/01/2017 - 13:16

    I'd tell her to buy it for you if she has an issue, and if she's not happy with that, to get (profanity)

  • [Deactivated] on 06/09/2018 - 11:09

    If you think it's unreasonable, then don't do it. I personally would not have a problem with having my behaviour to make another person comfortable. Changing washing liquid is no big deal. Some of the replies to this post make my skin crawl. Let's hope you'll never meet someone with a disability.

  • shrugies on 08/09/2018 - 17:35

    I think your original email is a good reaction: dispute something that isn't true, but agree to change to the sensitive detergent since it's no skin off your butt, while it's affecting this lady enough that she asks people to change. Key word: asks.

    You don't HAVE to change, but it does show good character by helping someone out, especially if it doesn't really affect you e.g. you don't need particular detergent for yourself due to preference/health, and buying lots of detergent on sale is frugal anyway. She isn't an evil woman making your life hell…yet LOL She hasn't done anything bad to you, except annoy and inconvenience you. But her reasons seem valid. Who knows, she might have real medical issues.

    Some people are not pleasant. Some people have bad allergies/intolerances/medical problems to many things. She could be both.

    Despite your reluctance to change on principle, the world needs more selfless/kinder people, and you're taking a step in that direction when it doesn't cost you much in this case :)

    I would probably mention that you aren't doing because you HAVE to do it, but you're doing it as a favour to her to help her out.

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