Would You Go to a Christmas Party under Certain Circumstances

eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 18:03

Hi guys, I don't know where else to turn to so I thought I should ask the Ozbargain community on this social matter.

I have a Christmas function this year. I was firstly told that it was on Saturday 10th December. I had a date scheduled that day, but I cancelled the date.

A few weeks later I was told "due to unforeseen circumstances", that the date of the Christmas party was moved to Friday the 9th of December. I was upset that I had cancelled my date for nothing but said nothing.

Then, only about two weeks ago, I was told there was a change of venue. Now it is to be held somewhere in the city, and since it is on Friday, there is no way I will drive in the city. As it hits my shift, I would now have to rush home, get changed, and go catch public transport.

An annoying thing we do on these "parties" is the Kris Kringle (yes, it feels like high school). I can't stand it, but everyone at work does it, and I have to be "part of the team". So I picked someone out of a hat and bought a gift.

Today, merely 3 days before the Christmas function, I received a phone call from a coworker, who tells me that the girl who I had picked as my Kris Kringle has been sacked. I should return my present. I told her that the present can't be returned as I had bought A Title of land on Mars (worth about $20) and it has the girl's full name on the Deed, and cannot be changed. So basically it is a present that has to go straight to the bin. I also had bought a fondue set (I can't return this but can gift it to someone else in the future).

I was then told that although that SAME girl had me as a Kris Kringle, someone else would buy me a gift. However, I was told I now have to buy a box of Guylian chocolates for the boss, and they have to be the shell-shaped ones.

It is at this point that I feel like that this is the straw that broke the camels back, and that I am being taken advantage of. I honestly don't feel like attending this party, but in the case of "office politics" and keeping appearances, I am at a loss of what to do.

What would you guys do?

Poll Options expired

  • 3
    Tell everyone you've been treated unfairly and don't go out of principle.
  • 212
    Don't go to the party out of principle, but instead say that "something has come up."
  • 5
    Go to the party but "accidentally" forget to bring chocolates.
  • 22
    Suck it all up, buy some Guylian chocolates, and go to the party.
Education & Work

Comments

  • MeesusEff on 08/12/2016 - 14:25
    +2

    did you mean these ones? https://www.woolworths.com.au/Shop/Search/Products?searchTer…

    also, do you have to buy another gift, or is the chocolates your part of the KK sorted? If so, I would photoshop the name out as someone above said, with the chocolates and a postit note going ' its been a Shell of a year :) ' wheee

    • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:42

      Yes! They're the ones, and if i buy these then this is considered my KK gift to the boss. Nice coincidence that they are half price!

  • DrDollar on 08/12/2016 - 15:02
    +6

    Do the right thing by yourself. Always feel free to express your opinion when you have moral ground. People let things slide far too often without saying anything.

  • PcisT on 08/12/2016 - 16:00

    I hate these things too, but they are petty things to worry about. Just arrive late. Chocolate is not that expensive in the whole scheme of things. Unless you really don't like your colleagues.

  • Reggie74 on 08/12/2016 - 16:00
    +2

    If you don't want to socialise with these people outside of work, do yourself a favour & cancel at the last minute & do something you'd enjoy doing. Even if it's sitting at home with a nice drink watching a decent movie relaxing.

  • mightyfes on 08/12/2016 - 16:26

    Might be the unpopular opinion but you should go. Play the politics and have fun doing it.

  • Oliver on 08/12/2016 - 16:26
    +4

    This whole thing sounds shit. don't go

  • stimpyjcat on 08/12/2016 - 16:30
    +2

    You could always throw in an extra bunch of Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears as a small treat for whoever is responsible for this evilness.

  • Iggemo on 08/12/2016 - 16:46

    where did u get the mars plot name thing? my wifey would like that so im interested :D

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 01:12
      +1

      It was a groupon deal at the time. But like someone else suggested here, I could send you the PDF files if you know how to alter the name on the deed.

  • jonathonsunshine on 08/12/2016 - 17:06
    +1

    Are titles of land on Mars legally binding? Seems like a great investment for your descendants.

  • jonathonsunshine on 08/12/2016 - 17:09
    +1

    Feel bad for you, everyone gonna get trashed at my work function.

  • FittyFitty on 08/12/2016 - 17:42
    +2

    You don't have to do jack sh!t; what are you, a slave?

  • Mysterious Laptop on 08/12/2016 - 17:48

    lmao "something has come up" they will know 100% you're bs

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 01:13

      Exactly what I suspect if I do this tomorrow.

  • D6C1 on 08/12/2016 - 17:52

    Don't go. Go MIA

  • abovethelimit on 08/12/2016 - 17:54
    +7

    Mate, Guylian sea shells are half price at Woolies this week. Link here. Heck, You can even actually WOW your boss with 2 of it. It's XMAS time and a time to be merry. No matter how much you dislike these guys or this party, be the better man and show up. These things help when it comes to the chopping block. You don't want to be labelled as boring, unfriendly and an introvert. I hate my companies XMAS party but I get there and ensure my presence is felt and leave to go out with my mates as soon the companies policy of 2 beers pp limit is reached ;)

  • Slippery Fish on 08/12/2016 - 17:57
    +6

    No option for turn up drunk with a hooker on each arm and make a dick of yourself… Make a new poll.

  • greatlamp on 08/12/2016 - 19:55
    +2

    Buy the chocolates, walk into the party, open the box, and offer them to everyone.

    Bring the crappy present you bought and give it to whoever wants it

    Stay for an hour then leave.

    I don't think you are being taken advantage of, the chocolates thing sounds like they are playing a prank. Don't show them it bothers you.

  • cheesecactus on 08/12/2016 - 20:51
    +3

    Am I the only person who has never heard secret Santa called Kris kringle?

    • Slippery Fish on 08/12/2016 - 20:52

      No, but its easy to figure out.

    • ssyl9 on 09/12/2016 - 10:02
      +1

      I immediately thinks op is working at a Krispy Kreme store…

      That's the first time I heard this term too..

      • McFly on 09/12/2016 - 11:04
        +2

        Makes me think of people draped in white sheets with eye holes…

  • MessyG on 08/12/2016 - 21:04
    +3

    I'd love to know what your job is because frankly I think you (and everyone) deserves a job where you like who you work with and where you look forward to your Christmas party. It sounds like you have a high maintenance boss and that weird chocolates request is either the boss being a complete princess or is toying with his/her workers. Why can't they buy themselves a box of chocolates?

    There are workplaces that exist that actually get their hiring and personality mix right, sounds like this place isn't it. You should find a job where you genuinely like and get along with everyone. You don't need to be buddies or hang out with them outside of work, but it's nice to get along well with people.

    You've got a few options:

    1. Go and play the game. Quit later and get a good reference out of it. This is what I would do. Play the game with deeply cheerful insincerity and consider the money a small investment in game playing. Also have a couple of drinks before you go in so you're chilled out when you get there.

    2. Go and take the sacked girl as your date.

    3. Don't go, and quit later.

    • WhyAmICommenting on 08/12/2016 - 21:58
      +1

      Four: Take your original date and the sacked girl :P

  • Veebee88 on 08/12/2016 - 21:39
    +6

    I work for a top 4 bank and we need to pay for our work Christmas party every year… disgusting is all I can say

    • bluesky on 08/12/2016 - 23:20
      +1

      Wow … this has got to spoil the Christmas spirit at work. I am really surprised by it. Especially coming from a big bank, and they make big bucks.

      • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 01:16

        I'm curious, do you claim it as a tax deduction if you pay for your own Christmas party?

        • bluesky on 09/12/2016 - 01:27
          +1

          Most discussions I come across talk about what an employer is entitled to claim for Christmas party expenses. Almost nothing on whether an employee is entitled to claim if s/he has to pay for it. I mean in the sense as described by vicky88. I doubt a present for boss will be eligible.

          Would be interesting to hear from some expert/tax agent here.

    • bobbified on 09/12/2016 - 10:39
      +1

      I've worked for the all big banks too and still do now, but I've never had to pay for our own Christmas party. They do put on these s*** parties (if you could even call it a "party") but they've never actually asked us to pay.

      Sounds like things have changed. Name and shame! (So I know which bank to avoid in future! hahaha)

    • Cluster on 09/12/2016 - 14:20
      +1

      Banks have no choice. Billion dollar profits and lavish parties while 'mums and dads' are struggling with the mortgage? Queue the media outrage. Have the staff pay for their own lame party that most don't want to attend but feel they must? The employees hate it.

  • bluesky on 08/12/2016 - 22:47
    +1

    Hi OP, heads-up on new deal: Guylian Sea Shell Chocolate 250g $7.75 (1/2 Price) @ Woolworths. Not that I think you should attend the Christmas party, but if you decide to, for whatever reason, this deal is handy and timely! :-)

  • captobvious on 08/12/2016 - 22:49
    +1

    I would go to the party not give a shit, get tanked, give some shitty present and who cares what happens the next day.

    • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:18

      Except my morning shift is on the next day, and i dread hangovers at work.

      • captobvious on 08/12/2016 - 23:41

        so get intoxicated with the boss, take incriminating photos of the boss doing bad things, pass out with the boss, don't make your shift. All will be forgiven and you have the advantage of blackmail on your side. You will be promoted in no time, all will be well.

  • garetz on 08/12/2016 - 23:38
    -7

    Are you a child ? suck it up, its part of the job.

    • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:46
      +4

      Hmmm.. Don't remember seeing Guylian chocolates on the contract.

      • garetz on 08/12/2016 - 23:52
        -7

        Do you seriously value your job, which you get paid xxxxx dollars against a box of 9 dollar chocolates ? You either have no idea how office politics work, or you are so naive that you have no clue what you are even equating here. Just buy the damn chocolates, make your boss happy, and move on with your life.

        Your thread is the epitome of 1st world problems, be happy you got a job at all, and live in a comfortable country like australia. Get your head out of your ass.

        If i was your boss and saw this thread, you would be fired so quickly your head would spin.

        • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 01:22
          +3

          If the boss sacked me, then the person having me as the KK would have to turf their gift, then the cycle continues. The first world problems would perpetuate ;)

        • stimpyjcat on 09/12/2016 - 01:36
          +2

          Thankfully you aren't the boss and with that attitude I would feel sorry for people at your work if you were theirs. Valuing your job and not feeling comfortable about going to some social event/s don't necessarily have to be related. Some people just like to go to work, put in the hours and go home and be valued for that. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

          "…epitome of 1st world problems" - says the bloke posting on Ozbargain forum. Hilarious.

        • smartazz104 on 11/12/2016 - 11:32

          If i was your boss and saw this thread, you would be fired so quickly your head would spin.

          Are you sure you aren't the boss?

      • xoom on 09/12/2016 - 08:04
        +2

        I must re read my work contract for this subclause condition. dont want to get fired now. lol

  • penthius on 09/12/2016 - 03:57
    +2

    Op do you work for a family business? or small business? if so I think that changes things as it can be quite awkward working in that environment if you don't play by the rules. Otherwise if not, don't go, its not worth the grey hairs!

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 09:25
      +1

      It's a small business, and you're right, the tension will carry for quite a while.

  • Tal_Shiar on 09/12/2016 - 04:01
    +2

    Buy the chocolates, don't go to the party and apologise for not being able to make it due to a private matter (don't elaborate). Give the chocolates to the boss the next chance you get..

    • bargdebarg on 09/12/2016 - 06:22
      +1

      This.

    • Goonos on 11/12/2016 - 15:22

      Shouldn't the boss be giving the staff gifts, not the other way around?

      • Tal_Shiar on 11/12/2016 - 19:37

        The chocolates were in return for the present from the boss

  • bargdebarg on 09/12/2016 - 06:22
    +2

    They are perhaps two of the worst KK presents ever. Totally useless and beautiful. Well done! That is the spirit!!!

  • McFly on 09/12/2016 - 08:54
    +2

    and it has the girl's full name on the Deed

    Solution: Cross out her name and write the boss's name above.

    Mods you can close the thread now!

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 09:24
      +1

      Good idea. And and I can use it as a form of humour at the party. Tell them the authorities on mars accept altered pdf forms.

  • OzzyOzbourne on 09/12/2016 - 11:08
    -1

    Two things I can't believe;
    You came on ozbargain to ask for advice on a minor situation which is part of normal daily life and is such a minor decision in the grand scheme of things.

    So many people responded!

    Ozbargain is becoming a place for people who can't be bothered to make their own decisions or think about their situation by themselves.

    • Ughhh on 09/12/2016 - 12:51
      +1

      Not only that, it's the new Google. Don't know what amex is? Just make a post instead of googling. *Face palm

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 13:04
      +4

      I was actually interested in what others would do, you don't have to look at the page if you don't want to. You especially don't need to respond and perpetuate things. Out of curiosity, do you write this comment on every forum topic whenever someone "can't be bothered making their own decisions"? Because, you know, I can't be bothered checking.

  • lainey13 on 09/12/2016 - 11:30

    Buy the chocolates. Then open it up and eat one. Carefully wrap it (minus the plastic) and give it to the boss. Don't put your name on it. Or if you're greedy like me eat all EXCEPT one.

  • infinite on 09/12/2016 - 11:55
    +3

    You could have always just manned-up and said thanks but no thanks to the kris kringle / secret santa & the Xmas party right off the bat. There's no need to have a reason for saying no to either. If anyone presses you for a reason, you just say you have a family event on already.

  • mahazza on 09/12/2016 - 12:59
    +2

    Turn up, say hello to everyone you care to, then GTFO.

  • snackpacket on 09/12/2016 - 13:14
    +1

    I've skipped many office Christmas parties in my time, because I really hate them. When someone asks why I won't attend, I always answer something forthright and simple like "Yeah, sorry, I just really don't enjoy Christmas parties or things like that."

    The response is usually just "That's fair enough…"

    If they try to imply that I'm not committed to the company or shit, I just back them into the "don't bully me" corner by saying something like "I guess I'm just a little shy in those kinds of situations, so I'd rather avoid them. I hope that isn't going to be a problem?"

    The truth is, no, I'm not committed to the company. I care about the company in direct correlation to how much it pays me to care about it. They pay me to be there. If they didn't do that, I wouldn't have anything to do with them or anyone that works there.

    It's 2016… People just have jobs. They just get them and have them… If you lose it, you get a different one. It's not like you gotta stay at a company for your entire adult life and commit to them like it's the damn 50's.

  • OzTightArse on 09/12/2016 - 13:35
    +1

    Bring some anarchy… buy round guylian chocolate instead!

  • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 14:04
    +6

    A new development since I'm doing my shift today. I find out that because that girl (hence my KK) got the sack, the boss himself has bought me a gift. And instead of asking me for a gift, he has requested a box of Guylians shells to be passed around dinner. Also the boss has paid for each person tonight and it's a set menu. In light of this, and because of the fact that it will cause tension if I don't go (it's a small business), I have bought the chocolates (half price) and will go.

    Whats funny is that now ANOTHER girl has been sacked, and the original girl who was my KK has been rehired (although she isn't invited to go to the xmas party tonight).

    • retiredfeline on 09/12/2016 - 14:14
      +3

      Wow what an exciting place to work. ;) Next post you'll be telling us you got the sack and won't be going. :) No, I hope not.

      Ah well at least you can give her that present.

      • KingstonTheNotSoWise on 13/12/2016 - 20:46
        +1

        Then the post after that, they got rehired and the boss sacked himself. What an odd company.

    • McFly on 09/12/2016 - 14:14
      +2

      the original girl who was my KK has been rehired

      Merry Christmas!

      ANOTHER girl has been sacked

      Merry… Christmas?…

      Anyway, good result (with the chocolates/party, not the 'staff adjustments!')

  • Cluster on 09/12/2016 - 14:16
    +2

    "I told her that the present can't be returned as I had bought A Title of land on Mars (worth about $20) and it has the girl's full name on the Deed"

    Wow, I know Kris Kringle presents are meant to be both funny and a complete waste of money, but that takes the cake in the wastage of money stakes. It's like setting $20 on fire. Actually, that would probably be more entertaining.

    • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 18:38
      +1

      I could probably bring the documents with me tonight and literally set them on fire in front of everyone for dramatic effect, saying, "look who got fired!"

  • centrelink on 09/12/2016 - 14:23

    Just say you'll go and then never turn up.

    <sarcasm>

    Just like my job interviews. (Had to say t because some idiot who think they are witty will say it and feel proud of themselves but NUP! DENIED!

    /s

  • Praeto on 09/12/2016 - 14:28

    Cross out the sacked womans name and write the bosses in on the Mars land title!

    • McFly on 09/12/2016 - 14:37

      Wish I'd thought of that… at 8:54 this morning…

  • cameldownunder on 09/12/2016 - 15:36
    +1

    Buy chocolates for the boss, and put Laxative in with a syringe

    • xoom on 09/12/2016 - 18:12

      thats the christmas spirit. ho ho ho.

      • McFly on 09/12/2016 - 18:17

        More like 'Go Go Go.'

  • bdl on 09/12/2016 - 15:47

    Cross the name out on the title, change it to the bosses, buy some cheese sticks, make fondue for boss, poor fondue on floor of Christmas party, get drunk.

    PS: Do you work for the NBN? sounds like it!

  • rollypollym on 09/12/2016 - 16:31
    +3

    Lol Title of Land on Mars! $20 for a piece of paper…

    • lostn on 11/12/2016 - 15:59

      I'm actually pretty sure world leaders long ago got together and signed a treaty that no one shall be able to claim ownership of any land outside of the Earth or any region of space. So to be sold land on another planet is actually consenting to being ripped off.

      This is of course academic since you're not going to be able to do anything with that plot of land, or even have any legal claim over it if someone else builds on it or a rover self destructs on it.

      Selling land on Mars (which the seller does not own btw) is no different from selling snake oil. The piece of paper given to you for only $20 cannot possibly be treated as a legal document.

  • releasethekr4cken on 09/12/2016 - 20:03
    +1

    Hey, so, not sure if you got the memo or not, but you actually have to buy me some chocolates for xmas too. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

    • eurofoti on 10/12/2016 - 00:53
      +1

      Yeah I got the memo. The old Easter chocolates from April, yeah?

  • Davo1111 on 09/12/2016 - 20:28
    +2

    Don't go, "due to unforeseen circumstances"

    • bluesky on 09/12/2016 - 20:58
      +1

      Quite accurate, "date/location changes, KK pressie bought but not applicable, specific chocs for boss" - all unforseen by OP … :-) But glad OP has resolved dilemma now - OP comment.

  • [Deactivated] on 09/12/2016 - 20:55

    First world problems!

  • [Deactivated] on 09/12/2016 - 21:35
    +1

    I was asked why i never went to the xmas parties in the last company i worked for and i told the boss upfront that they are all bs and always at least 4 people will want to punch on at the party and i have no time for BS.

    He took it like a trooper and canned the parties from then on i secretly think he wanted someone to call it how it was no be the so called party pooper.

    The best part of it was the boss would give us all 100 dollar gift cards which was decent.

  • MrRaccoon on 09/12/2016 - 22:11

    This one time, my boss asked me to buy a packet of those scottie dog walkers biscuits and I told them to stick them up their arse!!

    • eurofoti on 10/12/2016 - 00:44

      And what happened?

  • frostman on 09/12/2016 - 22:42
    +1

    Kris Kringle? where do you work? ABC4Kids?

    • eurofoti on 10/12/2016 - 00:44
      +1

      Certainly feels like it. Hadn't done that crap since I was a kid.

  • frostman on 09/12/2016 - 22:44
    +1

    Lol Title of Land on Mars! $20 for a piece of paper…

    haha damn right

    This is from their site:

    Marks a dot showing the exact location of the purchased Martian property by quadrant, lot number, latitude and longitude

    This is the same shit as "Name a Star"

  • [Deactivated] on 09/12/2016 - 22:55
    +1

    do the minimum required, ez pz

  • team teri on 10/12/2016 - 01:47

    I highly recommend this book, it will not only solve this question but lots of similar ones that you will encounter throughout your life:

    https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Not-Giving-Spendi…

  • [Deactivated] on 10/12/2016 - 05:07
    +2

    go to the party and hit on that chick you've been checking out all year

  • 01011010 on 10/12/2016 - 08:16
    +1

    so what happened - did you go?

  • Mikeyphoto48 on 10/12/2016 - 10:10
    +1

    Your boss and company sound f*^#ing awful, spend the day looking for another job,
    They changed the days/venues multiple times and you "have to buy the boss chocolates" plus its alcohol free?
    Sounds like a modern day Charles Dickens story. I'm so glad I'm a crusty old man close to the end of my working career.
    Merry Xmas by the way haha.

  • KingstonTheNotSoWise on 11/12/2016 - 00:37

    I wouldn't even make up an excuse not to go. We had our company Christmas party which was also in the city. I don't drink & it was at a small nightclub so I didn't want to go (if it was somewhere local I would have gone cause I do enjoy hanging with my co-workers at times). When I was asked to go I just said no, My co-workers & manager asked why and said I didn't want to go. Plain and simple. I don't do what I don't want to do when it's my free time & I don't care if it looks "anti social" or if they think it's weird (which I know they probably do) but fortunately they didn't push me into it or anything. They tried you know like typical mates.

    It could be different for the type of company you work in but I think if you make an effort to chat to co-workers at work (at reasonable times) and go to small dinners and things like that, then you don't have to worry about going above and beyond for a party.

    • eurofoti on 11/12/2016 - 13:16
      +3

      It's a small business I work in and the "party" is always just a small dinner with the employees. It's all done and dusted now, I went on Friday, and am glad I did. The half price Guylian chocolates was the icing on the cake.

      • [Deactivated] on 11/12/2016 - 17:29

        Hi. I've just been following the thread and would like to know, what made you glad you went as opposed to how you felt before? Ps. Glad you did go and enjoyed yourself.

      • highdealer on 11/12/2016 - 19:46

        Just wondering what your boss got for your KK if you don't mind sharing?

        • eurofoti on 12/12/2016 - 20:26
          +1

          I was glad I went for a few reasons:

          1) There is no tension at work this week, it is done and dusted. Coworkers are talking about the party and not about the fact that I didn't go.
          2) The meal was a three course meal at a five star restaurant and I'm sure the boss payed $99 per head for it (and would have lost money if I cancelled last minute).
          3) The company was good and conversation actually decent, and I had nothing else to do that night.
          4) The boss was even decent enough to drive me to the train station (close to home) where I left my car.
          5) Another coworker picked up the slack of me being KK-less and got me two large Toblerones and a Ferrero Rocher chocolate.

          And I got around the whole "no-alcohol" thing by popping a Xanax beforehand ;)

        • highdealer on 12/12/2016 - 22:35
          +2

          @eurofoti: Sound like you had a good time.

  • GangGang on 11/12/2016 - 09:02

    My Christmas party is having Snags on work site then back to work in 40 degree heat. I can't wait.

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