Would You Go to a Christmas Party under Certain Circumstances

eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 18:03

Hi guys, I don't know where else to turn to so I thought I should ask the Ozbargain community on this social matter.

I have a Christmas function this year. I was firstly told that it was on Saturday 10th December. I had a date scheduled that day, but I cancelled the date.

A few weeks later I was told "due to unforeseen circumstances", that the date of the Christmas party was moved to Friday the 9th of December. I was upset that I had cancelled my date for nothing but said nothing.

Then, only about two weeks ago, I was told there was a change of venue. Now it is to be held somewhere in the city, and since it is on Friday, there is no way I will drive in the city. As it hits my shift, I would now have to rush home, get changed, and go catch public transport.

An annoying thing we do on these "parties" is the Kris Kringle (yes, it feels like high school). I can't stand it, but everyone at work does it, and I have to be "part of the team". So I picked someone out of a hat and bought a gift.

Today, merely 3 days before the Christmas function, I received a phone call from a coworker, who tells me that the girl who I had picked as my Kris Kringle has been sacked. I should return my present. I told her that the present can't be returned as I had bought A Title of land on Mars (worth about $20) and it has the girl's full name on the Deed, and cannot be changed. So basically it is a present that has to go straight to the bin. I also had bought a fondue set (I can't return this but can gift it to someone else in the future).

I was then told that although that SAME girl had me as a Kris Kringle, someone else would buy me a gift. However, I was told I now have to buy a box of Guylian chocolates for the boss, and they have to be the shell-shaped ones.

It is at this point that I feel like that this is the straw that broke the camels back, and that I am being taken advantage of. I honestly don't feel like attending this party, but in the case of "office politics" and keeping appearances, I am at a loss of what to do.

What would you guys do?

Poll Options expired

  • 3
    Tell everyone you've been treated unfairly and don't go out of principle.
  • 212
    Don't go to the party out of principle, but instead say that "something has come up."
  • 5
    Go to the party but "accidentally" forget to bring chocolates.
  • 22
    Suck it all up, buy some Guylian chocolates, and go to the party.
Education & Work

Comments

  • [Deactivated] on 06/12/2016 - 18:07
    +66

    You "have to" buy chocolates for the boss?

    Yeah, nah you don't.

  • chumlee on 06/12/2016 - 18:16
    +9

    Lol. Sounds like a nightmare. I would give it a miss. If they ask why tell them you kept the date free and can't make it now date has been changed.

    Great KK gift by the way.

    • eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 20:27

      Unfortunately the date change was first thing they did. At the time that wasn't enough to break the camels back, so I had said I could still make it.

  • Diji1 on 06/12/2016 - 18:21
    +44

    Christmas, the time of bullshit.

    • McFly on 08/12/2016 - 17:39
      +2

      Yep, after hearing this story 'it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!'

  • trustnoone on 06/12/2016 - 18:25
    +19

    Its hard to say, I've seen quite cheap Guylian box chocolates at those dollar stores I'm pretty sure?, my parents buy them for me every time I visit them price seems to be $15 on Woolworths. So I wonder if its really worth the backlash of business politics considering you can hit up the 2 dollar store or something and get a cheap box just in spite lol.

    In saying that, it might even be easier to do both, give your boss the box of chocolates, cost like a couple dollars, tell them you can't make it due to something important but hope everyone has fun. That way you save face and only have to pay a couple dollars and get out of having to see people (which to me as an introvert is the best scenario XD)

  • LionelDroppout on 06/12/2016 - 18:32
    +33

    Say "due to unforeseen circumstances I cannot attend the party"
    Then stop worrying about it. Bugger em.

    Work Xmas parties are a bloody joke. I never go to them. We work to earn money not to make friends and socialise. That's what I reckon.

    • meiztom on 06/12/2016 - 18:47
      +8

      bit morbid

      • Big Trev on 07/12/2016 - 07:48
        +11

        Not sure how this is morbid? Maybe the word you're looking for is "mercenary".

    • MrBear on 07/12/2016 - 14:50
      +12

      You don't go to Xmas parties to socialise, you go to them to get shit-faced drunk. No ragrets!

      • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 15:26
        +1

        I can't even do that, because, without revealing too much away, apart from myself, the other staff don't go near alcohol.

        • MrBear on 08/12/2016 - 10:10
          +3

          Even more reason to!

        • retiredfeline on 08/12/2016 - 10:20

          Ooh, do I sense a common belief theme in your workplace? Say no more, wink wink.

        • McFly on 08/12/2016 - 17:41
          +12

          revealing too much

          Coincidentally one of the main dangers of drinking too much at the Christmas party.

      • macrocephalic on 09/12/2016 - 15:34
        +1

        It sucks when you work at a workplace where everyone has a family, so the xmas party is in a park with kids activities. I don't go; no one without kids goes.

    • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 15:31

      I should text the boss saying, "I can't make it on Friday. Please don't fire me."

      • xoom on 09/12/2016 - 07:20
        +1

        Could never understand the fear of getting fired for not attending a work christmas. How is an outside work after hours activity even be used as an excuse to fire someone for not attending? In saying that. Making an arse of yourself and offending or abusing your fellow workers drunk or not at said events can be grounds for instant dismisal.

        Before anyone say. Oh but xoom you never know. You could get fired for not attending. In the 4 different jobs over my working life i had barely a word was said when i did not attend the office christmas party.

        • kasp on 09/12/2016 - 14:55
          +2

          Ever since my work started putting the Christmas parties in January and mid week I stopped going.

          Yeah they get cranky about it but I am like it's not even a Christmas party and I have to work tomorrow.

        • xoom on 10/12/2016 - 05:11
          +1

          @kasp: The christmas parties we had wasn't as bad as yours being scheduled in January. The office one and the company wide ones are scheduled around the second week of December. However ours had been on a weekday also. Either Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Presumably to curb druken shenanigans seeing we all had to be back to work the next day.

    • xoom on 07/12/2016 - 18:11
      +2

      agree about working to earn money and not to make friends and socialise.

    • Ss-ss on 10/12/2016 - 04:07

      Not if you work for Victoria Secrets

    • 01011010 on 10/12/2016 - 08:13
      +4

      you know you spend more time awake with these people than you do with your own family - so it is best to be sociable.

    • johnno07 on 10/12/2016 - 08:25
      +5

      We work to earn money not to make friends and socialise

      Bloody bleak outlook on your working life. I happen to quite like the people I work with, and - shock/horror - I've even become friends with some of them.

    • ajdlinux on 10/12/2016 - 15:05
      +3

      My branch's Christmas party for at least the past couple of years has consisted of us going down to the local park at 12pm, one of our managers bringing in about twice as much food as we could possibly eat, fire up the BBQ, grab some drinks from the local bottle-o… after a few hours, the people who needed to finish up a few emails headed back to the office and the people who didn't just went home.

      I think I prefer this to the fancy expensive events which somehow need to be both more formal and more alcohol-laden. And also more outside of work hours.

    • starcalibre on 10/12/2016 - 15:12

      Friday night work drinks have done more for my career than anything I've actually done at work.

  • retiredfeline on 06/12/2016 - 19:01
    +14

    I had bought A Title of land on Mars (worth about $20) and it has the girl's full name on the Deed

    Bad idea to buy a person specific gift unless you knew the girl was keen on planets or something like that. Also, $20 for essentially a piece of paper? Chox would have been more practical.

    • ihbh on 06/12/2016 - 19:26
      +6

      Agree. Thank goodness I wasn't the OP's KK.

    • sparkles on 06/12/2016 - 20:13
      +5

      He wasn't to know she was going to be sacked.

      • eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 20:22
        +1

        Exactly. Even if the gift wasn't personalised, I was simply told to return it.

        • decr on 09/12/2016 - 09:33
          +5

          It's an awesome gift, I wish I had such imagination to come up with such ideas. Try to get in touch with her and give it to her anyway, surely better than binning it. Oh, and stuff the xmas party, like others have said.

        • macrocephalic on 09/12/2016 - 15:35
          +4

          @decr: Yes, she's just been sacked, and you have a gift with her name on it that you can't return. Find her on facebook and give her the gift.

        • antonthenet on 09/12/2016 - 16:19
          +7

          @macrocephalic:

          Agree, she is probably feeling really down in the dumps losing her job just before Christmas. This may bring her some much needed cheer.

    • MrBear on 07/12/2016 - 14:51
      +3

      I think it is an awesome gift, better than some chinese plastic crap which most of them are.

      But I thought Kris Kringles were usually limited to $10 or $12.

    • MessyG on 08/12/2016 - 20:56
      +7

      I disagree. If I got that as a KK gift I would be blown away, it's so thoughtful. F**k practical. *Disclaimer: I'm a girl.

      • retiredfeline on 08/12/2016 - 21:08

        What about a ticket to the moon? 😉

        I could sing It's Only a Paper Moon…

      • macrocephalic on 09/12/2016 - 15:37
        +3

        Most KK gifts are either alcohol (which is ok) or cupboard fillers that you'll throw out next time you move. I'd take the 'plot of mars land' as well.

        • John Kimble on 09/12/2016 - 16:14

          The best gift I have seen at a work KK was when one guy got a "Penis Pokey" book (google it if you are not at work).

          I gave a woman a can of pineapple juice and a plastic banana protector (which I thought was funny, but I don't think anyone else did…probably because they didn't get the joke/sexual innuendos).

          Both not PC, but everyone laughed and no one was fired. Good times!

          Apart from that, every other work KK I have participated was shit, so I refuse to participate anymore…like you say, just will just get thrown out.

        • MessyG on 09/12/2016 - 18:45
          +2

          Jesus wept if I got that as a KK I'd hunt you down and tip the pineapple juice on your head.

  • Ughhh on 06/12/2016 - 19:01
    +25

    I had bought A Title of land on Mars (worth about $20) and it has the girl's full name on the Deed, and cannot be changed

    Just get a pdf editor and change the name, just as legit as the original copy given by some scammy company.

    • outlander on 06/12/2016 - 22:35
      +26

      Change it to a whole planet while you're at it. Don't want to come off as being cheap…

      • ChillBro on 07/12/2016 - 13:41
        +23

        Have taken your suggestion and now I'm the proud owner of 'Earth'.

        Everyone, please get off my property, you have two weeks. Good day.

  • BigTed on 06/12/2016 - 19:13
    +4

    Frankly this is bullcrap.
    I'd be whinging about it like a little biatch to anyone who slowed down in the corridor.
    I would most certainly be telling them where they can shove their shell-like chocolates.

    • eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 20:33
      +1

      This is my initial thought, but knowing work politics, I fear I would get thrown a psychological curveball such as "mate, if you're so hung up over chocolates to the point where you won't come, you don't have to get any" response from the boss, making me look like an idiot.

      • MrBear on 07/12/2016 - 14:53
        +2

        Who told you to buy the chocolates? The boss?

        If not, just say you were never told or it didn't seem appropriate or just give him the original Kris Kringle with the girl's name on it (now that would be a laugh).

        • McFly on 08/12/2016 - 23:14
          +1

          Who told you to buy the chocolates?

          Let me guess - some kind of jumped-up PA or administrator type who thinks they own the place and everyone in it.

      • Jackson on 08/12/2016 - 22:42
        +1

        I actually think you should be able to go to someone for a whinge about how much of a balls up this has all been, who changes so many frigging details, and how don't they know they are going to sack someone only a few days in advance, and changing venues and days that all should have happened before the first invitation was sent. Frigging hopeless if you ask me, how does that person keep their job?

      • wkd on 11/12/2016 - 10:32

        i'd rock up without any and just say i forgot. they'll soon realise not to rely on me to get gifts for the boss.

  • peterpeterpumpkin on 06/12/2016 - 19:43
    +2

    Thanks for reminding me why I quit one previous job in particular :)

    • eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 20:19
      +2

      It couldn't have been over Guylian chocolate s, surely.

      • BartholemewH on 12/12/2016 - 02:54

        Maybe someone got the boss Choceur seashells from Aldi.

  • sparkles on 06/12/2016 - 20:07
    +8

    Awww crap, I would have loved the plot of land on Mars. I'd give it to her anyway somehow. I'd rather that than a box of chocs or toiletries or the usual crap people buy. But then again, I love anything personalised, anything silly, and anything with a talking point.

    Unless it was going to be an awesome (expensive) shindig or I really want to paint the town red with work friends I'd ditch the party. It would depend largely on the type of party on offer and how I feel about the fellow party-ers.

    • eurofoti on 06/12/2016 - 20:16
      +7

      The "party" itself is pretty tame. We basically meet up at a restaurant, eat a three course meal, talk about customers and anecdotes (since we deal in retail and lack of anything better to talk about) and go home.

      I agree with you, I honestly thought my Mars idea was good and different. Considering my KK was studying architecture, it would have at least sparked some conversation away from work and customers.

      • havebeerbelywillsumo on 06/12/2016 - 21:00
        +3

        A big plus for the mars gift from me, unique idea. These secret santas are the very devil if you want to show there was a bit of thought in the choice of a present and not just "here's something to fulfill an unwanted obligation".

        Forgot to add…skip the party unless there are people going that you would be happy to relax & socialise with. Make it very clear that the second date change conflicted with a prior arrangement. IMHO you are being jerked around with…..to me it sounds like there is a work clique that is to be catered for and the other staff be seen but not heard.

        • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 10:06
          +1

          You are absolutely right, there is a work clique involved, most likely from staff that work with the boss during Mondays to Thur and not on Fridays. Hence the move to Fridays, a day where it suits the ones not working then. Also when I asked why the boss picked the first venue (before it changed) I was told that he didn't pick it, it was suggested by some.

      • MessyG on 08/12/2016 - 20:57
        +3

        I really hope you still give it to her, it would soften the blow of being sacked and it's a really nice present.

    • Iggemo on 08/12/2016 - 16:45
      +6

      Yeah i was gonna say you should contact the girl outside of work and give her the gift anyway m8

      • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:10
        +2

        You're right, otherwise it's going to go in the bin since its personalised.

        • macrocephalic on 09/12/2016 - 15:40
          +1

          Was it a fair sacking or was she screwed over? If the latter, you could be a real arsehole and give the plot of land with the sacked employees name on it to the boss for a gift.

        • eurofoti on 11/12/2016 - 13:13

          @macrocephalic: Funnily enough, she has been re-hired (and another girl sacked). So I could give her the KK gift, or hold onto it till her birthday ;)

    • geoffellis on 09/12/2016 - 01:22
      +4

      Awww crap, I would have loved the plot of land on Mars.

      You realize that you can't actually buy land on mars right? So he paid $20 for a piece of paper he could probably have created himself in MS Word in about 10 minute. And both pieces of paper would hold about the same value.

  • JIMB0 on 06/12/2016 - 20:23
    +5

    Ask if you will be paid for the hours spent at the Christmas party.

  • bobbified on 06/12/2016 - 20:52
    +3

    You haven't mentioned in your post about how your relations with your co-workers are at work every day. I get the feeling that this isn't the first time you've felt like this.

    To be honest, I think you're taking things a little too personally. Especially the moving of the dates, times and locations - it's probably just a group consensus or just something out of their control - whatever reason it is, it's not like someone has said "lets put it on this date so that XX can't go".

    Keep in mind that no-one probably knows the story about you cancelling your own event and then making the effort to get on time. If you kick up a fuss, everyone's probably just going to think that it's about a small "box of chocolates" and it's going to seem really trivial to them.

    Besides, it's Christmas - chill out, take some time to celebrate and have some fun!

    What else would you be doing at home that night?

    • pandabun on 07/12/2016 - 13:25
      +1

      You are assuming that he'll be alone at night on that day. Some people have life outside work, friends they rather hang out with, family to spend together with.

      • bobbified on 07/12/2016 - 13:32
        +2

        I'm not assuming - the question was to see whether he's already got something planned. Unlike the original date, OP doesn't need to cancel anything this time.

  • [Deactivated] on 06/12/2016 - 21:07
    +2

    I never went / go to Christmas parties never had a bad tick against me in 30 years of working why bother they make it out make sure you come….. Don't bother.

  • HardQuiz on 06/12/2016 - 21:20

    I now have to buy a box of Guylian chocolates for the boss, and they have to be the shell-shaped ones.

    Yeah, no, don't and don't go!

  • Donaldhump on 06/12/2016 - 22:03
    +17

    one year my mates / family had a xmas dinner

    Everyone had to bring something

    I got 2kg of prawns
    Richest dude in group brought a lettuce

    Fml

    • airzone on 08/12/2016 - 13:27
      +25

      You don't get rich by buying prawns for other people ;)

    • [Deactivated] on 09/12/2016 - 10:57
      +4

      must be an ozbargainer

      • Dazzler42 on 09/12/2016 - 21:37
        +1

        You don't win friends with salad.

  • xoom on 06/12/2016 - 22:30
    +5

    Knew there was a reason i dont go to these things.

  • mchoodie on 06/12/2016 - 22:54
    +3

    'Tis the season to be jolly fala la la laaa la lala

  • itajac on 06/12/2016 - 23:10
    +2

    Don't go if it's so inconvenient.Just tell them you got gastro, nobody wants gastro at their party ;)

  • purplelady on 06/12/2016 - 23:12
    +4

    Do you want to have that dinner? if it's in Aria or some expensive restaurant, I'd go and just eat the company's money. But if it's just normal pub, I might just say something suddenly come up and I can't go.

    And do you want to hang out with your colleagues? coz if you don't have anyone close to you to talk to, then might as well not going. 1. You're already not wanting to go.
    2. You don't want to be around your colleagues too.

    So, why suffer?

    But I wont say to the boss my real reason though.

    • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 12:29
      +1

      I think you're spot on purplelady. I will say nothing till Friday when my shift finishes, acting like I will go. When I get home I will text saying something suddenly came up and I can't make it. They obviously won't believe me, most will suspect the chocolates (work gets around in this place) but who cares beyond that point. Even if I stay at home watching a movie, I will be suffering less. However, out of curiosity I may check the restaurant's menu online and if the prices are extremely expensive, I may toy with the idea of going simply out of spite and to recoup the costs of the wasted present, the chocolates, and the public transport price, although unlikely as the total will be approx $70).

      • purplelady on 08/12/2016 - 11:28
        +1

        So did you check the price? :P

        • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:14
          +1

          I did. I found out the boss is paying for everyone's seat, so each person not going will cost him. It's a set menu, i don't know which one it is out of four set menus, but the cheapest is $72 per head and most expensive is $99.

        • bluesky on 09/12/2016 - 00:01
          +2

          @eurofoti: Maybe worth considering. The food has got to be quite decent, at a minimum of $72. And choc is only $7.75. You should come out ahead :-)

        • BargainCowboy on 09/12/2016 - 15:25

          @bluesky:It's about the principle, not about the total balance.

  • ShannonN on 06/12/2016 - 23:48
    +12

    Get the sacked girls address and send her the Mars gift then date her and recoup costs

    • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 00:45
      +7

      I may end up spending more if I do that :)

      I should tell her to come over to watch Matt Damon's The Martian on DVD.

      • WhyAmICommenting on 08/12/2016 - 21:53

        Nice segue to/from the KK gift ;)

        • eurofoti on 08/12/2016 - 23:16
          +2

          And the movie is boring enough where you can move to other "stellar" experiences. ;)

  • Mr Asobi on 07/12/2016 - 08:37
    +8

    Box of Guilian chocolates and they HAVE to be shell shaped ones.

    Rightio

  • backpaqer on 07/12/2016 - 11:36
    +2

    Do they make soaps that look like the Guylian chocolates? ;)

  • [Deactivated] on 07/12/2016 - 11:58
    +11

    Get the chocolates, but make sure they are NOT Guylian Shells. Nothing beats passive aggressive ;)

    • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 12:23
      +2

      I will go to work tomorrow, and if somebody mentions the party, I will remark, "I've been searching high and low for those Guylian chocolates. I found plenty, but not the shell ones that you guys specifically requested. I will keep looking…" Hopefully the bright ones will pick up the irony.

  • Cheap Steve on 07/12/2016 - 16:30
    +2

    "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day". Phyllis Diller

  • Cheap Steve on 07/12/2016 - 16:48
    +3

    In my twenties I was a lowly paid, cubicle dwelling worker drone with very wealthy bosses. With a year's worth of under-appreciation and resentment built up I always approached the annual office Xmas Party as "pay-back" time. We too would go to a nice restaurant for our Kris Kringle and 3 course meal. I would only order the most expensive item on the menu for entree, main and dessert regardless of what the food was. I would then start ordering round after round of top shelf spirits for myself and colleagues so we truly could have a Merry Xmas.

    • eurofoti on 07/12/2016 - 17:08
      +1

      Nice one, but in my case since last year if I want to buy alcohol I would have to pay for it myself (due to the boss's "principles"). The only way to go hard on drinks is to keep ordering lemon lime and bitters.

      • airzone on 08/12/2016 - 13:30

        Wow… This is not worth you opening the front door for.

      • su27dvr on 08/12/2016 - 13:53

        You worry too much, just buy the chocolates and go. Have some fun, who knows maybe there is somebody there you can relate to and have some fun with. No point taking a position on this issue. Be flexible. Get over it and use your energy for something more important such as getting a better job.
        Good luck and merry xmas.
        Block of land on Mars? Good idea. Keep it for yourself maybe its worth 10 million when you retire in 2083.

        • eurofoti on 09/12/2016 - 01:14
          +1

          The Mars title is under the sacked girl's name. She will be the rich old lady in 2083.

        • Ughhh on 09/12/2016 - 06:30
          +1

          @eurofoti:

          If you wanna make her extra happy, I'll make you a paper that says you're an owner of some land in Pluto too

      • [Deactivated] on 09/12/2016 - 11:00

        i think im your boss and this thread is about me.

    • stimpyjcat on 08/12/2016 - 16:29
      +4

      I worked at one large multinational (billions of annual profit) and one year they asked employees to pay for their xmas party! These shitty companies that do a token event once a year but fail to look after their employees for the remaining 99% of the time. Joke!

  • zealmax on 08/12/2016 - 14:02
    +2

    Take your date and drink all of the alcohol. If anyone asks, tell them you are upset.

  • bargainslut on 08/12/2016 - 14:23

    They are still selling chunks of the moon and it's way closer to Mars.

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