Should Children Be Forced out of The Home When They Turn 18?

DeafMutePretender on 08/01/2016 - 23:55
Last edited 13/01/2016 - 06:13

Suppose you are a father or a mother (if you're not already one) and your child turned 18. Do you force them out of the house against their will? The average Whirlpooler bitterly says, yes, 18 year old children should be kicked out of the house.

But I would like to get the average OzBargainer's opinions due to the difference in demographics (eg. The average Whirlpooler is an educated young professional working in the computer science or engineering field, earns a 6 figure income, has a 7 figure superannuation + assets, has a supermodel wife as well as a secret mistress whenever the wife gets boring. The average OzBargainer lives in a cardboard box, or in a basement, at best).

But I digress.

Peruse the poll and select the one that is most applicable to your situation. The poll assumes you have children or will procreate in the future. If you don't plan on making babies, then hypothetically assume you have children.

Pro-Children F Off arguments:

  • Teaches financial responsibility.
  • Teaches them to appreciate the value of money.
  • Forces them to mature.
  • Money doesn't have to be spent on the child anymore means money saved (from the point of view of the parents).
  • Children stop being "brats" when they move out.

Anti-Children F Off arguments:

  • Financial responsibility and staying at home are not mutually exclusive concepts. (ie. both can be true at the same time)
  • Appreciation of the value of money and staying at home are not mutually exclusive concepts.
  • Maturity and staying at home are not mutually exclusive concepts.
  • Money (rent) paid by the child to the parents means less money paid to the "other"/the "out group" e.g. landlords/banks.
  • It is possible to remain at home while not having "brat" status.
  • Karma: When you get old and need help, your children will completely ignore your existence for the rest of your pitiful life (at worst) or they will first dump you into a nursing home and THEN completely ignore your existence for the rest of your pitiful life. Attendance of your funeral optional.
  • House prices/rent is the biggest expense for any early home leave. On average, the rate of increase of house prices/rent is greater than the increase in average incomes so moving out of the home now is more difficult than say, 30 years ago. Also, same story with jobs (tougher to find a job AKA money now than in the past).

When offering non-poll opinion posts, it may be helpful to state your race since some races or nationalities are more predisposed to a certain opinion due to differences in cultures/values. Or to rephrase this in a more specific and politically incorrect way, generally speaking, white Aussies hate their children and want them out ASAP, wogs/Asians are more supportive.

POLL RESULTS (AS OF Jan 13st)

The Great OzBargain Survey of 2016: Attitudes Towards Adult Children Living At Home

Well, this blew up since reaching the front page. Last time I checked, votes were about 100, now they're about 500. However, the trends and percentages haven't really changed so the conclusions remain the same.

We see that the clear majority of OzBargainers had the benefit of free post-18 accommodation from their families or if not, then they paid rent. Unfortunately, some OzBargainers did get forced out by their family and they probably weren't happy about that since they wouldn't do the same to their children.

The few underage OzBargainers on here seem to have their heads screwed on straight: all of them would let their future children stay for free.

Moral of the story: "life experience/maturity" aside and those are things that are still debatable, what's not debatable is that saving money instead of paying that same amount of rent to landlords are one of the biggest bargains anyone can get. Ask yourself: would you rather put that $500 per month into your or your parent's bank account or the landlord's/fat cat banker's?

One last thing that I haven't talked about yet and I don't think anyone has mentioned yet. There appears to be those who were kicked out of the house when they were young and are bitter about it, so they try to emotionally salvage what they can out of the situation by asserting that moving out of the house when young is the one and only way of gaining life experience and maturity. No-one, least of all I, would ever say "every person must stay at home when they finish school because it's the only way, no exceptions". We recognise that every person has their own unique situation so the optimum decision for them might not be the same for someone else. Not so with the forced early-leavers: "I moved out early! Everyone should do the same too! Because I did!", "Harden the F up, princess!" and other useless platitudes.

It's almost analogous to the circumcision debate: Those who argue in favour of male circumcision often already received the snip without their consent, so they're already emotionally invested in the arguments. Those who have never been circumcised and those who stayed at home rent-free are both similar in the sense that they had choice.

POLL RESULTS (AS OF Jan 1st)

Based on the poll results so far (sample size = 94), and assuming the voting trends continue similarly in the future, we can make the following observations:

Conclusion

  1. Very few OzBargainers were forced to be moved out of the home, and even if they did move out, it was by choice.

  2. Close to 50% of OzBargainers who remained at home when turning 18, remained there, RENT-FREE BITCHES (by the way, when I say bitches, I am mainly referring to Whirlpoolers 'cause they're probably jelly - btw 'sup).

  3. The second largest group are OzBargainers who remained at home and paid rent, willingly or not. About very 3 out of 4 OzBargainers had the benefit of staying home rent-free or paid rent. Very few were forced out, willingly or not (see point 1).

  4. Point 2 and 3 are not surprising due to selection bias. OzBargainers are relatively more frugal/money-smart compared to the average population so naturally, they would prefer not to spend money needlessly to out-groups (eg. to banks/landlords) and likewise, they wouldn't want their children doing that either. Worst case scenario, they would prefer to pay rent to their in-group (ie. parents/family) / have their children pay rent to them.

  5. Attitudes towards their children: Almost 50% of OzBargainers would allow their children to stay home for free (whatever their own post-18 experiences) and about 40% would ask for rent. Only 4 OzBargainers would kick their children out.

  6. What OzBargainers experience when they were young (eg. they stayed home for free), is likely the same experience their children will have (eg. their children will also stay for free). This assumes OzBargainers have children or plan on having them.

  7. A possible outlier to the above are those OzBargainers who were forced out by their parents when they were young, but wouldn't do the same thing to their children (opting to ask for rent instead).

Comparisons with Whirlpool

  1. While Ozbargainers lean more towards rent-free accommodation or with rent, for their children, Whirlpoolers lean more towards paying rent or kicking them out.

  2. Like OzBargainers, what Whirlpoolers experience will also be what their children experiences (see point 6). So if you're unlucky enough to be born from a Whirlpooler's vagina, you'd be well advised to start planning for your dystopian homeless future now and start saving money now (Step 1: Make an account at OzBargain. Step 2: Join ING Direct with competitive x.x% high interest saving accounts and x% cashback for PayWave purchases. Step 3: ???. Step 4: Profit.).

Improvements

  1. While the survey administrator (me) received complaints about how the poll had too many options, I've come to realise it was still too few. There needs to be an extra set of options differentiating between OzBargainers who moved out or paid rent (by choice/willingly or not). That's for the left side of the option. Being forced to moved out and moving out by choice are two completely different things.

  2. The right side of the option will have more improved wording. Future polls will have the following right side options:
    Past experience / and I will kick my adult children out of the house no matter what.
    Past experience / and I will kick my adult children out of the house if they don't pay rent.
    Past experience / and I will allow them to stay rent-free unconditionally, with voluntary rent, or move out by choice.
    Past experience / and I'm an Asian father or mother and THEY MUST STAY HOME. Be a good boy/girl Wang/Xiaomei and take care of your oldies 'k? (Joke option)

References

[1] Catalyst Thread: http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies.cfm?t=2487152
[2] General moving out threads 1: http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum/?action=search&q=move+o…
[3] General moving out threads 2: http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum/?action=search&q=moving…
[4] Net Worth of Whirlpoolians: http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies.cfm?t=2403644
[5] Whirlpoolian's Super Balance: http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies.cfm?t=2388291
[6] Anecdotal "evidence"
[7] Interwebs

Poll Options

  • 7
    My parents forced me out of the house / and I will kick my adult children out of the house.
  • 15
    My parents forced me out of the house / and I'll ask for rent from my adult children.
  • 4
    My parents forced me out of the house / and I'll let my children stay in the home, rent-free.
  • 0
    I remained at home but paid rent / and I will kick my adult children out of the house.
  • 121
    I remained at home but paid rent / and I'll ask for rent from my adult children.
  • 16
    I remained at home but paid rent / and I'll let my children stay in the home, rent-free.
  • 4
    I remained at home rent-free BITCHES / and I will kick my adult children out of the house.
  • 12
    I remained at home rent-free BITCHES / and I'll ask for rent from my adult children.
  • 360
    I remained at home rent-free BITCHES / and I'll let my children stay in the home, rent-free.
  • 0
    I am underage and living at home / and I will kick my adult children out of the house.
  • 0
    I am underage and living at home / and I'll ask for rent from my adult children.
  • 6
    I am underage and living at home / and I'll let my children stay in the home, rent-free.
  • 9
    Whatever / Undecided
Home & Garden

Comments

  • bossmode on 09/01/2016 - 00:15
    +8

    Brilliantly formatted, I feel that you gave readers too many options with the poll, though.

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 00:27

      See my reply to some random doofus below.

      • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 11:40
        +5

        Not enough options

        • SlickMick on 09/01/2016 - 23:13

          honestly… do you really need such a profile? It only includes 1/2 the options anyway… I selected closest to my case, which wasn't very.

        • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 02:54

          Not enough options

          You say that in jest but it turns out you are correct. See the main post under the heading "Improvements"

        • [Deactivated] on 10/01/2016 - 09:02

          @DeafMutePretender:
          No jokes. I agree with what you wrote in that section

      • vroomkroom on 12/01/2016 - 14:35

        One more option please.
        " I will make it comfortable for my children to remain home as long as they want rent free. But will tell them to help out with house chores "

        • robbyjones on 12/01/2016 - 19:36

          Pft, good luck with that, unless you want to be the worlds biggest nag (source: I'm a mum with 3 adult male children living at home)

  • doofus on 09/01/2016 - 00:21
    +7

    "I remained at home but paid rent / and I'll ask for rent from my adult children." Except we call it "board" in NSW, not "rent". The deal with my parents was that while ever we were studying (school/TAFE/Uni) we didn't have to pay board, but as soon as we were no longer studying, we would be asked for board. My kids aren't old enough to even think about moving out of home, but we'll see what happens when they get to that age. But of course, my wife gets a 50% say in that decision when the time comes!

    I think it's probably pretty common that what you experienced as a child is what you would do with your children when you are a parent.

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 00:26

      I think it's probably pretty common that what you experienced as a child is what you would do with your children when you are a parent.

      And that's exactly why my poll options were so detailed and thorough. (Also see religion. Is it any surprise that a child's religion is, 99% of the time, same as their parent's?)

      • kryptoz on 09/01/2016 - 22:39

        Religious affiliation is often the same as the designated parental units, true — children almost without exception have no say in their first religious associations.
        However adult religio-spritual beliefs vary significantly from one generation to the next, depending largely on the level of education which generaly increases with each generation.

      • SlickMick on 09/01/2016 - 23:23
        +4

        It isn't thorough. I didn't get kicked out, but I moved out for work.

        That's why they do survey's, not polls.

        I can't imagine a child brought up well would ever need to be kicked out. Should I make some stranger sponsor the next Einstein or Beethoven because I "had a rule" to kick kids out at 18? There should be a test before people are allowed children, and anybody with such an attitude would get an instant fail.

        I'm recalling that this has all been said before. There was a thread not so long ago on pretty much the same topic.
        I'm white Australian, but that doesn't automatically make me a bogan.

        I'm really concerned for the future of this society.

    • Nugs on 09/01/2016 - 10:45
      +3

      "my wife gets a 50% say in that decision when the time comes!"

      only 50%?

      • Kawaii69 on 09/01/2016 - 13:23
        +1

        feminist incoming

        • r3dfusi0n on 10/01/2016 - 12:38
          +4

          No equality until inequality! /s

      • jee on 12/01/2016 - 11:43

        she will anyway take the other 50%

    • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 12:17
      +7

      We used the term board as well (VIC). We didn't pay board while at school and uni. I was happy to pay board once on unemployment benefits but my parents wouldn't take any until I got a job. I would happily have paid more board but my parents wanted me to save. By the time I was ready to move out I had enough money saved to pay a deposit on a house.

      • Ace26 on 10/01/2016 - 20:30
        +2

        This is what I plan on doing. Whilst studying nothing to pay. When working pay board (which we plan on giving it back to them when they buy a house of their own).
        I grew up in India so things are a bit different. I prefer my kids staying home and save money instead of kicking them out. On the other hand if they want to leave to learn life experience we will encourage them.
        I went to boarding school and I will never send my kids to boarding school.

  • Ughhh on 09/01/2016 - 00:30
    +21

    Pro-Children F Off arguments:
    Teaches financial responsibility.
    Teaches them to appreciate the value of money.
    Forces them to mature.

    I've met many people who were kicked out and lives by themselves or house share, and they prove otherwise.

    Also don't be surprised when your kid dumps you into a nursing home, never visits and doesn't look after you.

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 00:37
      +4

      Also don't be surprised when your kid dumps you into a nursing home, never visits and doesn't look after you.

      Oh yeah forgot that one. I added it to the Anti- arguments list:

      Karma: When you get old and need help, your children will completely ignore your existence for the rest of your pitiful life (at worst) or they will first dump you into a nursing home and THEN completely ignore your existence for the rest of your pitiful life. Attendance of your funeral optional.

    • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 03:28
      +1

      Yo, I think your mother just negged you (using the dialup internet connection at her nursing home, you know, the one you sent her to, the mother you never visit and neglect)

  • Luminary on 09/01/2016 - 01:20
    +12

    My parents actually want me to stay at home so I can save money for my own place. If I moved out, I'd also probably have to live further from the city than where I am with my parents which would be an added inconvenience. I've been raised pretty frugally and have an appreciation for money (never buy before consulting good ol' OzB and interwebs) so I don't think staying at home has created any issues in that area. I'm working interstate for half the week now so it's a nice transitional "moving out but not really" situation for my parents and I.

  • iridiumstem on 09/01/2016 - 01:28
    +3

    Can't remember what TV show I've heard this from but someone was jokingly saying that the best way of getting rid of your child after they turn 18 is by not giving them a double bed.

    Also, I personally think all your arguments are very subjective, since what you've mentioned can happen with/without children moving out.

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 02:01

      Also, I personally think all your arguments are very subjective, since what you've mentioned can happen with/without children moving out.

      If by "your" you mean me, then they're not my arguments. I'm just the messenger so if anyone has any problems with the arguments provided, take it up with "them".

      • iridiumstem on 09/01/2016 - 02:07

        What I meant by arguments was those Pro-Children F Off arguments and Anti-Children F Off arguments you've posted. So yours as in from your post, so those arguments from Whirlpool.

        Anyways, yeah, I personally think what they've mentioned are mutually exclusive from leaving parents' house early or late.

    • leiiv on 11/01/2016 - 01:51

      Does it also mean that you should give them a double bed if you don't want them to move out?

      • iridiumstem on 11/01/2016 - 12:01

        Eh, too comfortable does give you less reason to move.

  • TheMoDz on 09/01/2016 - 01:28
    +14

    I dont know, Im Asian.

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 02:03
      -5

      I thought Asians were smart and knew lots of things. What is it you don't know about?

      • Marcsie on 10/01/2016 - 19:35
        +2

        I don't know what are you talking about ?

  • AMLagonda on 09/01/2016 - 01:33
    -8

    Where is the choice…. GET A JOB OR LEAVE HOME!!!

    • DeafMutePretender on 09/01/2016 - 02:04
      +22

      GET A JOB OR LEAVE HOME!!!

      I don't understand the logic here.

      "If you get a job, then you can stay at home"?
      "If you don't get a job, then leave home"?

      • Oddmog on 10/01/2016 - 18:18

        Not the poster you're looking for but my gut says maybe.

        Honestly I work full time and still have to live at home (with little left over between paychecks to boot). If I didn't have a job and was around the house constantly I'm sure it'd be even more annoying.

    • rodinthink on 10/01/2016 - 17:06

      You must have a soft spoiled one

  • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 04:47
    +4

    Buying playstations, ipods, the latest phone… Modern western society is geared to keep people IMMATURE children far beyond when they should be. So then kicking your children out would contradict the example many parents have set. If you've parented right, well, maybe. But otoh if you have, you want your children around and they want to be around you. They're your best friends.

    • docmoh on 12/01/2016 - 02:03

      Completely agree, I would like to spend some time with my grown up children, to learn what type of adults they have become. They can leave anytime but would be great to develop a relationship treating them as adults and friends and not just our kids.

  • Banana on 09/01/2016 - 08:18
    +32

    No option for " I want to move out but I am Asian"? :P

    • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 08:34
      +1

      Agree with this comment

    • Kawaii69 on 09/01/2016 - 13:24
      +1

      HAHAHAHAH feels bro

      • skillet on 09/01/2016 - 23:11

        I want to move out because I am sharing rooms with my sibblings.

    • fruit on 11/01/2016 - 11:08

      Context? I don't get it?

      • asupre2541 on 11/01/2016 - 22:36
        +2

        Asian families usually live together. It's not uncommon to have over three generations under the same house where i'm from (Vietnamese). Parents just want to keep their children close to them. I know my aunty went through a depression phase when my cousins grew up and out.

        Some kids from my generation though are much less traditional and would like to move out, against their family's wishes.

  • conan2000 on 09/01/2016 - 08:38
    +3

    I had to pay rent as soon as I started working at 17. Was pretty much necessity for my Mum to be able to afford living costs, this amounted to about 50% of my income. I left uni with about $60k in savings. So it definitely taught me how to manage money well.

    I plan to do the same with my children (have one at the moment), but with them, I will keep it in a savings account or invested, and they will get it back when they leave home.

    • skillet on 09/01/2016 - 23:09
      +3

      Please congrats your parents they have done well.

    • asupre2541 on 11/01/2016 - 22:45
      +1

      60k in savings out of uni well done.

  • mrmachine on 09/01/2016 - 09:10
    +5

    I have/had a great relationship with my parents and I left voluntarily when I was 19 and I will strongly encourage my kids to move out before they are 22. You can't teach your kids everything. There are many things they need to learn on their own and for themselves, not only financially.

    • OZB Al on 09/01/2016 - 09:19

      I chose to move out at 18 as well and will encourage my kids to do the same.

    • SlickMick on 09/01/2016 - 23:34
      +14

      What are the things that kids need to learn at 22 that can't be learned at home?

      My daughter just left home last week at 27, and I said to her "you know where home is".

      She left at 17 to study overseas, but came home after a few years. She left again because it was more convenient to live on campus, then came home when she started working. Those were fine reasons to leave home. It's only this time that I'm questioning her motivation. Why leave home without a good reason?

      There are a lot of people with problems in society. Most of them are not the ones surrounded by people who love them.

      My attitude is live with a family until you are starting your own, unless circumstances make that impractical. Life without family is just asking for trouble imo. There's a reason other cultures look after family. We don't know better even if we think we do.

      • Mon Gol on 10/01/2016 - 15:48
        +2

        SlickMick, well said, totally agree!
        Our daughter is 18, she is uni student and we do not even think to kick her out, life is too short and we want to enjoy this time when our children are ours. When they start their own families they will no longer be with us. Before this time comes - we are happy to see our kids every day, give them goodmorning-goodnight kisses and just enjoy parenthood)
        Btw, younger kids are 14 and 2. So we still have a long road ahead)

      • frewer on 11/01/2016 - 17:49

        Wel said Sir/Madam, in my culture the children take care of their parent. If you don't that's "weird". Family is the cornerstone of a society, if it is strong then there will be ( hopefully ) let's trouble maker in society.

      • sween64 on 12/01/2016 - 15:39

        Did she give a reason for leaving that you considered not "good"? I left home 3 years ago aged 25, I had started a full time job 9 months earlier. For the year previous to this I was staying 4-5 nights per week at my then girlfriend's house with her mother as well. My girlfriend and I moved out together to our own house, we now have a cat. What do you consider to be "starting your own" family? Is living with a partner and a pet? Does it necessitate pregnancy/children? Is there an age you consider to old to be living with your parents even if you don't have an immediate family of your own (ie a partner or child)?

        I still see my parents most weekends (I'm a shift worker so it's difficult to see them everyone weekend). I would like to stay in Melbourne to be close to my family, I think 20 - 30 minutes travel by car is ideal. I don't want to live with my parents thought.

        I was fortunate enough to live rent-free with my parents until I chose to move out.

        I'm looking forward to your responses Mick, thanks!

        • SlickMick on 13/01/2016 - 00:32
          +1

          No, she didn't have a bad reason to leave, just insufficiently good. She's going to live the same life in a different town, except without the benefits of having family at hand. Financially she'll at best keep her head above water, or she'll be tempted to go down the path I've seen so many times - go into debt and buy lottery tickets hoping for a miracle cure to a self-inflicted problem.

          We're getting a bit personal now :) If I was your girlfriends mum I'd say 1) get your own place and 2) my daughter will move in when you put a ring on her finger :) I hope you fully considered your commitment before a cat became involved :)
          I'm not sure whether you see yourself as having your own family now or not. I prefer very clear relationships. I was single until the day I was married.

          I don't think age has any bearing on the matter. Sometimes people need to leave home as a teenager. I've never seen a legitimate case of too old. I've known sons who've stayed on to take over the family business. I've known homes to be extended as the next generation grows.
          But usually it seems that something eventually necessitates a child branching off to start their own story.

        • sween64 on 13/01/2016 - 08:09

          @SlickMick:
          Thanks for your honest answers.

          Going in to debt should be avoidable at all costs. That's why I stayed at home until I had a full time job.

          We are now engaged. We had been living together for two years before that, I don't think I could commit to a life long relationship without living with the person first. We are delighted we have a cat and he's happy to be here (we feed him and pat him, it's all he really wants). We will have kids, but not in the next couple of years. We have discussed it and both agree on the current time line.

          Did you date or court your wife before you got married? I don't consider that my relationship will change drastically the day we get married, it's simply a formal affirmation of what we already feel and a great excuse to have a party. I consider the biggest change in our relationship so far to be the day we moved in together; shared financial and domestic responsibility. The next biggest change will most likely be the day we bring our first child home; shared financial and domestic responsibility for another human, an especially fragile one.

        • SlickMick on 13/01/2016 - 23:46

          @sween64:
          Okay, here comes the confession. Yes, my wife moved in with me before we got married. She lived just down the road from me. I'd invite her over for dinner, then convince her to stay for a while. She's go home at like 5am. Eventually it became daily and thought this is stupid. (I did propose to her first.) However, if I could turn back time I would have controlled my hormones better and been more honorable.

          Nothing personal, we seem to be speaking frankly :), but I think the "try before you buy" and non-committal attitude of modern culture is a problem. Like you say, marriage doesn't really make a difference these days, and thus a marriage can fail just as easily as a friendship.
          I don't believe it was supposed to be this way, and marriage is a commitment not be be taken lightly. I wish we'd lighten up gun laws coz I reckon every dad should have a shotgun to scare his daughter's suitors with. (I don't mean that, but the attitude I do.)

        • leiiv on 14/01/2016 - 03:56

          @SlickMick: maybe what she needs was just a double bed :)

    • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 02:58

      There are many things they need to learn on their own and for themselves, not only financially.

      As the poster that replied to your post questioned:

      What are the things that kids need to learn at 22 that can't be learned at home?

      • mrmachine on 10/01/2016 - 19:29
        +2

        Making your own home. Becoming an independent adult. Everyone I know who has done it said it was the best thing ever. And everyone I know who didn't says they don't see the point, they are good with their parents and they can save money. Staying with your parents until you are ready to start your own family is missing out on a whole period of life experience. It challenges you and you will feel a sense of satisfaction, achievement and self confidence in being able to find and make your own way in life. Way more important than saving a few dollars. And it doesn't have to negatively impact your relationship with your parents. It might even enhance it, even if it was already great.

        • SlickMick on 10/01/2016 - 21:56
          +2

          A lot of life experiences at this stage of life aren't good.

          I don't know of any life experience at 18 or 22 that
          a) can't be learned at home;
          b) can't be learned later in life when circumstances require it, rather than trying to force it at the wrong time; or
          c) isn't worth the price and/ or risk

        • mrmachine on 11/01/2016 - 09:28
          +1

          @SlickMick:

          I had plenty of great life experiences. Not least of which was being completely financially and personally free and independent. You wouldn't know about them if you didn't experience them. Doesn't make them not real.

        • SlickMick on 11/01/2016 - 23:25
          -1

          @mrmachine:
          The homeless guy in the park is completely financially and personally free and independent. I'm sure it's real to him.
          I just can't see why you consider it a greater achievement to "do it alone". No-one's keeping score you know.

        • mrmachine on 12/01/2016 - 07:44
          +1

          @SlickMick: you don't have to live in the park to move out.

        • SlickMick on 13/01/2016 - 00:33

          @mrmachine:
          No, but my point is some end up there, but not so much the ones still at home

        • mrmachine on 13/01/2016 - 00:49

          @SlickMick: I think your chances of becoming a homeless bum in the park are determined long before your parents decide whether or not to encourage you to move out or not, and have much more to do with your own character and choices than their theirs.

        • DeafMutePretender on 13/01/2016 - 06:17
          +1

          @mrmachine:

          So homeless bum are homeless bums because it is 100% their fault and due to 100% of the choices they made and not because of certain things that may be outside their control?

          Sounds awfully just world hypothesis but okay.

        • mrmachine on 13/01/2016 - 09:14

          @DeafMutePretender: nope. But neither are they homeless bums because their parents encouraged them to stand on their own two feet and become independent. This is the problem with ideological debates. Each side feels they have to claim the other is an absolute extreme in order to prove their case.

        • SlickMick on 14/01/2016 - 23:01

          @mrmachine:
          ouch. predestined to fail eh. I disagree

  • boccos on 09/01/2016 - 09:24

    They pay rent if they have a job and do not have to do household chores except keep their own room and clothing clean, otherwise no job/no rent and contribute by doing household chores happily and regularly and without complaint. If one of those two options do not suit, out they bravely go into the world. Doors remain open on the same conditions if they decide to return.

    • JimmyF on 09/01/2016 - 23:58
      -1

      Yes the OP here overlooks the 21 year old is earning $400/wk. Its only fair to pay something at that age, level of income.

      • DeafMutePretender on 12/01/2016 - 00:05

        the OP here overlooks the 21 year old is earning $400/wk.

        I didn't overlook it. The exact circumstances of the OP over there is irrelevant to this overall thread.

  • donga100 on 09/01/2016 - 10:51
    +2

    My parents had always told me they would kick me out when I turned 18 so I called their bluff and left when I was 17 and moved overseas for a year. Never lived at home again except for a few weeks after returning to Aus. It was definitely the right decision for me as I appreciated the independence but I wouldn't necessarily do the same to my own kids. I do think it would be a good idea to charge them rent as soon as they are working or collecting Centrelink student allowance or whatever other source of income they have as it teaches you a lot about financial management and it's better to learn that in the safety of the family home rather than getting kicked out/blacklisted by an angry landlord.

    • JimmyF on 10/01/2016 - 00:02

      Have a read of thread of the WP thread, OP here got it all wrong. They hadn't been kicked out. They are 21 year old, are earning $400/wk PT and graduates next month from Uni. Parents have NOW asked for rent! One would think its fair after living rent free till the end of uni is it not?

      • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 01:32

        OP here got it all wrong.

        What did I get wrong?

        They hadn't been kicked out.

        I never asserted that of the OP of the Whirlpool thread.

        • JimmyF on 10/01/2016 - 10:35

          What did you get wrong? They hadn't been kicked out. They are 21 year old, are earning $400/wk PT and graduates next month from Uni. Parents have NOW asked for rent!

          Not 18 and being kicked out of home.

        • DeafMutePretender on 12/01/2016 - 00:07

          @Level380:

          What did you get wrong? They hadn't been kicked out.

          Let's go back to the beginning.

          Have a read of thread of the WP thread, OP here got it all wrong. They hadn't been kicked out.

          Your assertion appears to be that I claimed that the OP over there got kicked out.

          Where did I make that claim?

  • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 10:56
    +20

    My oldest child will be 18 at the end of Feb, but is doing year 12 this year, so even if I was inclined to kick him out, I wouldn't do so while he is still in high school. I will never force my kids to leave and can't imagine why other people are so keen to get rid of theirs. Why have kids at all if you're just looking forward to the day they leave?

  • airzone on 09/01/2016 - 11:17
    +8

    Some stories:
    I moved out of home at 22 after finishing uni.. I needed to move to get a job. I paid nothing until I moved out, and paid everything once I did. I turned out fine.

    My wife moved out of home at 17. She got herself a part-time job to finance herself and finish school. Her parents paid for college but she everthing else. She turned out fine.

    My cousin is approaching 30 and still lives at home with his parents. His fiancée lives with them. They barely work, don't clean, don't make the bed, don't wash clothes (I don't think he even washed himself regularly). All their money is spent on booze and pokies. And his a smart-arse brat who needs a kick up the bum (and she is a needy whiner who seems to think she deserves more).

    His sister is slightly younger and still lives at home with parents. And her husband. Admittedly she does work, but I'm not sure if the husband has a real job or not. As above, no effort is diverted to cleanliness or maintenance. She has a fit is she can't get what she wants immediately. And he's a c**t.

    I'm sure they both have their umbilical cords still attached to mummy.

    When it comes to my own kids, raising them is not as cut and dried as kicking them out at 18. Sure, when they have a job then we will take "board" (although it will probably be put in to a separate account as secret forced savings) but we won't insist they have a job if they are studying still. And if they aren't studying or working then they will have 3 meals a day and a roof over their head, but not much else. But at the moment, they can play and do kids stuff and not have a care in the world.

    • runtoparadise on 09/01/2016 - 12:03
      +3

      This^^. Every child is different, every situation is different. You did a pretty shit job at parenting if in a fairly normal situation you turn to your kid and say "you're 18 now (profanity) off".

      I have a good relationship with my parents and we enjoy each others company, my parents would happily have me at home. That said I moved to the city for uni when I was 17 and have been supporting myself ever since (over a decade now) and would highly recommend it to my kids (and help them with it too) but I would never force them out of the one place they're supposed to feel safe.

    • Skinnerr on 11/01/2016 - 03:33

      He's a ColT? Impressive.

  • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2016 - 11:31
    +2

    How about "my parents begged me to stay but i left anyway" . there's something really off about this topic. It feels like a really middle class/white attitude

  • macduff on 09/01/2016 - 12:09
    +3

    My parents never asked me for rent while living with them. However, I worked part time at Dick Smith (RIP) when I was studying at uni so I could have "spending money". I luckily got a job straight out of uni and saved my money, which was so much easier as I didn't have to pay rent. I am 24 now, bought my first home early last year and enjoying my independent lifestyle. I will always be extremely thankful to my parents and will definitely do the same for my future children.

    • joshykins on 09/01/2016 - 18:41

      definitely do the same for my future children.

      what about you past ones??

  • t_c on 09/01/2016 - 12:33
    +2

    Based on current house price trends, I think the thread would be more appropriately titled, 'Should parents be forced out of the home when children turn 18'

    • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 01:37
      +1

      Forgot about this one. This has been added to the main post:

      Anti-Children F Off arguments:

      • House prices/rent is the biggest expense for any early home leave. On average, the rate of increase of house prices/rent is greater than the increase in average incomes so moving out of the home now is more difficult than say, 30 years ago. Also, same story with jobs (tougher to find a job AKA money now than in the past).
  • try2bhelpful on 09/01/2016 - 17:12
    +1

    I left home at 18 to go to Uni and never moved back. There were no fees and the Government gave you TEAS back then - not a lot of money but helped with the rent. We had second hand furntiture or shelves made of milk crates, no mobile phones, mainly cooked for ourselves, didn't travel overseas, pre internet - so our costs were relatively low.

    • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 03:06
      +2

      the Government gave you TEAS

      What's the motive of the government giving you free tea to drink?

  • fantafox on 09/01/2016 - 22:06
    +3

    Time to leave when your 18 to gain real life experience. I respect young people that get out and give it a go. Too many kids getting it to good at home. Fair enough if it doesn't work out and you come back but at least see how the real world operates. I know people living at home in there 30's. I have no respect for them. Most are lazy, parents still wash, cook, and clean for them. What a joke. They may as well build a granny flat and live there forever. When I was an apprentice I lived out of home on my 3nd year. Yeah it was hard, yeah I had no money but I sure learnt a whole lot about money and life. Plus I had the time of my life doing it. But everyone falls back on the "its more expensive today though". I just think some people have it to cruisy at home and haveno motivation to give it a go.

  • kryptoz on 09/01/2016 - 22:57
    +1

    My two older siblings were pretty much kicked out around the age of 18 — they floundered, struggled with employment and relationships, the older went of the rails somewhat and ended up back at home many years later… in both cases extremely unsuccessful outcomes, as they lacked the maturity / street skills to survive.
    Several of my older cousins were left to live at home in their families' large home unrestricted, and many still there now in their late 30s, with their own kids on welfare and miserable lives.
    Partly as a consequence of their failures, I was able to stay on indefinately, but my parents insisted on either going to tertiary study and/or working and paying board — ultimately I did a bit of both college/uni/work and my board was mostly kept as savings for my by my parents — by 21 I couldn't wait to leave home.
    I believe with employment changes and cost of living pressures today, it is now much more challenging for young adults to move out, but with adequate parental support anything is possible, parents just need to lay down ground rules to ensure their kids don't fall through the cracks — some kids adapt to it much earlier than others.

    I will probably make a similar move with my own kids, since it seems to have worked out reasonably well for me, and certainly not the worst option.

  • skillet on 09/01/2016 - 23:05
    +3

    I left home to study when I was 18, I was never kicked out it was my choice. It was hard to bid goodbye to my parents as I will be studying half the world away. The place where I was born, you have to do something really stupid and shameful to be kicked out of the house, most adults stayed at home. Some stubborn ones even stuck to their parents even when they are married, big houses with many rooms, this my mind can't process very well.

    My parents taught me a lot of stuff indirectly when I was young, I did not realise until I lived alone. I struggled at some point of life wished that my parents were there for me but I manage to wiggle out of it. If I was kicked out of house I would definitely hate on them. I am grateful because it was my choice and my parents trusted and respect my choice, they are always supportive. There are many ways to mature an adult and to be kicked out to learn survival is rare to my culture. I think it is too cruel for a young adult who is unprepared.

    • saddybedangdang on 10/01/2016 - 00:25

      I agree, kicking out seems foreign to me. I'm from a Greek background so it's common to move out once your married. Being kicked out at 18 doesn't sound like a healthy parent/child relationship. The child making the choice and the parent supporting that, that is a healthy relationship to me.

      • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 03:09

        I agree, kicking out seems foreign to me. I'm from a Greek background so it's common to move out once your married. Being kicked out at 18 doesn't sound like a healthy parent/child relationship. The child making the choice and the parent supporting that, that is a healthy relationship to me.

        As an Australian person with a Greek background, why do you think that some White Australians have different opinions on this issue?

  • JimmyF on 09/01/2016 - 23:54
    +1

    The average Whirlpooler didn't say to kick them out….. The average Whirlpooler said for them to PAY RENT… They have a job, they can pay rent.

    It should also be noted the person was 21, has a part time job earning $400/wk and finished uni at the end of next month. So its not really as 'harsh' as it was made out here.

  • saddybedangdang on 10/01/2016 - 00:21
    +2

    I'm 21 and study full-time and work casually. I live with my mum and she is more than happy for me to stay. I give her contributions here and there but nothing major ($50/month+groceries here and there). I know the value of money and I intend on living here a little longer. Why leave if I have a great family and moving out is just a heavy expense? I think I'll make my kids pay me when they have sturdy jobs, however I'd like to return most of their money the day they move out as a surprise. Of course, everyone has different reasons to why people move out or stay at home.

    • joshykins on 11/01/2016 - 16:24
      +2

      $50 is so insignificant.

      • DeafMutePretender on 12/01/2016 - 01:21
        +1

        $50 is so insignificant.

        .

        I'm 21 and study full-time and work casually.

        Casual could be anywhere from 1 hour a week to 38.

        • joshykins on 13/01/2016 - 20:10

          that increases the meagre value of $50?

  • knowskillz on 10/01/2016 - 01:38
    +1

    "Should Children Be Forced out of The Home When They Turn 18?"

    To me the title is misleading, I don't see 18 as a child 18 is an adult.

    • DeafMutePretender on 10/01/2016 - 01:41
      +1

      Would you consider a 17 year, 364 day, 23 hour, 59 minute, 59 second old human entity a child or adult?

      • dogboy on 11/01/2016 - 16:47
        +1

        Depends on how well a job the parents have done. If good, then they would be a young adult. If bad, then still a little kid who can't look after themselves.

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