Neighbour Calling My Dog a B*Itch to My Kid

poboy on 28/08/2024 - 21:17
Last edited 29/08/2024 - 08:06 by 1 other user

I frequently take my dog for a walk with my young child. While walking home, my neighbour is often in his yard. Almost every time I see him he shouts out comments such as 'How's your bitch!' And then snarks.

My son clearly hears this. He has even repeated it while at the park with his old grandma.

I think my neighbour is aggressive because he plays music with the window open. My wife said I should just lie and tell him the dog is a boy, but I don't want my car scratched.

Should I just write him a letter?

Pets Dog

Comments

  • askbargain on 28/08/2024 - 21:18
    +5

    how old is your son?

    • jv on 28/08/2024 - 21:18
      +187

      28

      • kaleidoscope on 30/08/2024 - 14:49
        -4

        reason for being very specific?

    • poboy on 28/08/2024 - 21:44
      +5

      Son is 6

      • idonotknowwhy on 29/08/2024 - 13:27
        +53

        He's old enough to be told the definition of "bitch", it's origin, and why it's used as a slur. Knowledge is power.

        • Jackson on 30/08/2024 - 00:02
          +10

          At 6 years old, this really depends on the kid. You can tell them, and they will understand your words, but they won't understand the implications around them

      • johnno07 on 29/08/2024 - 23:42
        +9

        I feel for your son if you can't figure out how to navigate this extremely benign situation.

        • Harold Halfprice on 30/08/2024 - 14:17
          +2

          Hey, the first step to being a good parent is coming to OzBargain for advice!

      • jackspratt on 30/08/2024 - 01:47
        +7

        More to the point, how old are you?

      • Sheez on 30/08/2024 - 17:36
        +6

        Your kids will inevitably be exposed to things and people like this, educate them so they grow in mature humans unlike your neighbor.. As much as we want to, we can't protect and isolate them forever from this sort of behavior..

        For e.g., my kids around your sons age and a bit old know some swear words, they know other people use them, but they also know that it's not appropriate to use them and to be aware of avoiding getting in to the habit of using them. I find that treating your kids maturely and expecting maturity out of them instead babying them works well.

      • markga on 30/08/2024 - 17:49
        +5

        I reckon just correct the man, "Since you cant work it out mate, my dog is a son of a bitch", could always add to that, "Much like yourself".

  • jv on 28/08/2024 - 21:18
    +40

    Should I just write him a letter?

    How do you know he can read?

  • CyberMurning on 28/08/2024 - 21:21
    +23

    Bikies

  • elgrande on 28/08/2024 - 21:22
    +16

    So how is your bitch?

    I used to talk to an older gentlemen who was into greyhound racing, he once told me he had a bitch at home he was trying to get pregnant.

      • ThithLord on 29/08/2024 - 08:43
        +21

        There's this broadcaster called Richard Wilkinson, Dick for short. Dunno how he gets away with it

        • Daabido on 29/08/2024 - 22:15
          -3

          Are you talking about Richard Wilkins, whose nickname is Dickie? Dick has been a shortened name for Richard for generations and is not considered offensive.

      • imurgod on 29/08/2024 - 18:02
        +3

        Listen to the language on Kyle Sandilands' show which is on during school dropoff. Disgusting.

        • Oz em on 30/08/2024 - 22:31
          +1

          Just waiting for her to be canceled.
          I read he used the toilet live on air cut everyone to hear

      • BillyG687 on 29/08/2024 - 18:07
        +3

        If it's used in the correct way, there's no problem with the word. It's entirely appropriate and within context.

        If it's used in its alternative use, then it's not appropriate for radio.

      • SimAus007 on 30/08/2024 - 07:34
        +4

        Because a female dog is a bitch, that is the correct terminology, nothing crass about it, other than your mind using it for another context.
        Have you never spoken with anyone in the racing or veterinary industry?
        Where do you think the use of, bitch, as a slur originates from?
        I'm not sure how you are offended by something that is not offensive, if used correctly.

        • NotReallyaMoneySaver on 30/08/2024 - 10:38

          Just because it's a normal word doesn't mean context and values can't change. There are plenty of other substitutes for "bitch" like 'dog' or 'pet', both perfectly acceptable words. If I called a black person a "negro", would that be perfectly acceptable if I'm using it correctly without trying to be offensive. The neighbour is just instigating OP and their child. There was no need to say "bitch."

          • SimAus007 on 30/08/2024 - 14:38
            +4

            @NotReallyaMoneySaver: Dog does not have the same meaning as, bitch, even as a veterinarian or medical term. "Dog" is gender neutral, bitch is not.
            Bitch is not an offensive word if used for its original, intended context (not a slang use of the word).

            I work in the vet & animal industry, and this is the correct word for a female dog, it has been for centuries, well before it was used as a slang word to mean something else and is used daily in Australia in reference to a female dog.

            • BartholemewH on 31/08/2024 - 11:34

              @SimAus007: Dog is actually the term for a male canine, it's not gender neutral, if we're being technical.

          • CoreArchitect on 01/09/2024 - 07:57

            @NotReallyaMoneySaver: That's silly. So you can't call a cow a cow. Just because calling a human a fat cow is deregitory?

    • Jackson on 30/08/2024 - 00:09
      +1

      Was your response "try removing the franger"?

  • Ozbar Gain on 28/08/2024 - 21:23
    +58

    Are you sure he's talking about your dog?

    • PleasureMe on 30/08/2024 - 00:13
      +1

      This made me LOL. Because it's likely true.

  • Jimothy Wongingtons on 28/08/2024 - 21:25
    +14

    Just ignore

  • JIMB0 on 28/08/2024 - 22:02
    +35

    Your either going to have to put up with it or be prepared to belt the crap out of the b*tch. There's no in between with these people.

    • kiitos on 29/08/2024 - 07:51
      +16

      But OP's dog hasn't doing anything wrong!

    • Bdawg on 30/08/2024 - 14:33
      +2

      Conflict with neighbour is best avoided, even if you are in the right and can best them in melee. They know where you live.

      • JIMB0 on 30/08/2024 - 16:38

        In this case its just like the old the saying of going to prison, finding the biggest guy and knocking him out.

  • Benoffie on 28/08/2024 - 22:02

    Ignore, or tell him, if he asks again of your child, you'll let the dog go and he can find out himself.

  • pegaxs on 28/08/2024 - 22:32
    +43

    You don’t want to lie about the dogs sex for fear of your car being scratched, but you think it’s ok to send him a letter?

    Ignore it. These types only do it to get a rise out of people. Best you can do is just say something like, “oh, and a good afternoon to you too, Mr. Jenkins… lovely day for it” with a smile and a nod.

  • ausdday on 28/08/2024 - 22:36
    +28

    'How's your bitch!'

    How's your mom!

    • freshj1ve on 29/08/2024 - 11:02
      +29

      Don't you mean mum?

        • umyeahokay on 29/08/2024 - 18:26
          +15

          TMI

          • R4 on 30/08/2024 - 00:22
            -7

            @umyeahokay: Why? My son calling his mother, mom?

            Err, okay.

        • PleasureMe on 30/08/2024 - 00:16
          +9

          Doesn't make it right. In Australia, it is written "Mum". Teach your son the correct way and save him from future embarrassment.

            • SimAus007 on 30/08/2024 - 08:05
              +3

              @R4: Spelling it as, mom, is incorrect, in all variations of the English language, accept for American English.
              So if your son is pronouncing it or spelling it as mom, and I am assuming you are living in Australia, that is incorrect, which won't help later in school marks.
              Do you also spell, quay as key, organise as organize or use fanny in reference to your bum?

    • dimes on 31/08/2024 - 15:42

      This never gets old I swear haha

  • cashless on 28/08/2024 - 23:29
    +25

    How the flick is writing a letter going to defuse this situation?
    Just smile & wave. Bullies get quickly tired if no response to their baiting

    • May4th on 30/08/2024 - 07:54
      +1

      the good old one finger wave

  • randomusername2017 on 29/08/2024 - 00:30

    Better stock up on stationery…. there's every chance the child will be exposed to a lot more in the coming years ..

    Is life really this hard 🧠💣

  • BoltThrower on 29/08/2024 - 01:15
    +7

    Hit him with the "You tell me, how ARE you?"

  • morse on 29/08/2024 - 04:15
    +73

    Should I just write him a letter?

    No

    Conversation with son:
    “Hey bud, you know how our neighbour calls our dog a “bitch”? Well “bitch” is technically a word that you can use to describe a female dog, however we just call our dog “fluffy” [or whatever your dog is called]. Sometimes the word “bitch” is used in another way and it might upset people. Most people find the word “bitch” rude, so we don’t use that word in our family, especially not where someone might hear it, like a park.”

    Kid
    “so why does our neighbour say it?”
    You
    “Some people are old fashioned, don’t worry they don’t mean it like that. To be friendly to our neighbour we just ignore it”

    Kid
    “Is he being mean to our dog?”
    You
    “I don’t think so, I don’t think they know, but it’s best if we leave it alone as we want get along with our neighbours”

    Kid
    “What does bitch mean?”
    You
    “It’s a rude word that someone might say to be mean to someone. We don’t say word like that as we like to be kind to others”

    If you hear your kid say it
    “We don’t use that word”

    Neighbour might be aggressive, also might have mental health issues or just be a bit odd. If they make you feel uncomfortable minimise interactions and don’t let it get to you. Walk on the other side of the road, walk a different route or simply say a quick hello and smile and nod whilst still walking.

    DO NOT WRITE A LETTER! This is how things escalate.

    • AustriaBargain on 29/08/2024 - 06:18
      +33

      As Sun Tzu says, when going to war with your neighbour, leave no receipts!

    • EightImmortals on 29/08/2024 - 08:10
      +15

      Too complicated. When my son was that age and encountered something like what the OP is talking about I simply explained that some people are just (profanity) and they'd be saying stupid nasty things to whoever is in the vicinity. So don't take it personally, ignore them and make sure you don't end up acting like them yourself one day.

      • morse on 29/08/2024 - 08:37
        +16

        Yeah that too. For some reason I felt OP would benefit from clear and explicit instructions.

        • timthetoolman on 29/08/2024 - 09:59
          +7

          I appreciated the part where you clarified for them to use the correct name for the dog and not just Fluffy.
          I saw a response coming 'my dogs name isn't Fluffy'

      • miicah on 29/08/2024 - 16:44

        Too complicated.

        ?

        He's 6 not 2. I would explain it exactly the same to my 4yo.

    • 2esc on 29/08/2024 - 09:16
      +1

      The older generation doesn't use that word in front of kids the individual is the problem.

    • stickingly on 29/08/2024 - 11:48
      +1

      Perfect advice.

      There will be plenty more similar situations dealing with idiots in your lives, so the sooner he learns about it the better
      Just wait until you take him to the footy and hear some of the stuff that people yell out…….

    • elgrande on 29/08/2024 - 17:42
      +2

      You forgot:

      ..
      KID: Then why does dad/mum call you a

    • p1 ama on 29/08/2024 - 21:45
      +8

      This is the exact correct response.

      Your role as a parent is not to hide the "bad" things from your kid and pretend like they do not exist. The world is what it is regardless of how you portray it. if your kid doesn't hear the word from your neighbour, your kid will hear it from someone else.

      Instead, your role as a parent should be to teach your kid how to discern between right and wrong, that just because someone else does something does not make it right, and that people can sometimes do the right thing or do the wrong thing.

      These issues will continue to pop up through parenthood - one day you'll have to talk to your kid about alcohol, drugs, crime, and various other "difficult" topics. Ultimately, your kid will know and hear about all of this, the question is whether you want to have a voice or not.

    • furyou on 30/08/2024 - 08:39
      +1

      I agree with most, except that being a (profanity) isn't a mental health issue.
      Also not sure about labelling people as odd. I like to wear hats is odd. He's a (profanity).

      • morse on 30/08/2024 - 08:47

        Making snarky/nasty remarks can for sure be part of a mental health issue. The last part is for OP, not to say to the kid.

        • furyou on 30/08/2024 - 10:00
          +1

          anything can be part of a mental health issue. That's the problem.

          Like saying he's not a fast runner, must be a physical health issue.
          He sleeps in til noon each day, must be a physical health issue.
          He doesn't leave the toilet seat down, must be a physical health issue.

          "mental health issue" is now a blanket excuse not to try/do better. I mean, stealing cars - has mental health issue? Sure, but he's still stealing cars.

          • morse on 30/08/2024 - 18:02

            @furyou: Sure, but mutterings about bitches when neighbours walk past doesn’t point to amazing mental health. One can be crazy and mean at the same time (sorry not the most sensitive way to put it)

  • apsilon on 29/08/2024 - 05:46
    +17

    Good, how's yours?

  • Dollar General on 29/08/2024 - 06:00
    +4

    Don’t bother with a letter. Send him pictures of people doing it doggie style and see if he gets the reference

  • AustriaBargain on 29/08/2024 - 06:17
    +1

    What genre of music?

  • ihbh on 29/08/2024 - 07:37
    +5

    While walking home, my neighbour is often in his yard

    Why don't you try to walk home the other way and avoid the neighbour? Even if you are on a cul de sac, walk home, walk on the other side of the road.

    • Bdawg on 30/08/2024 - 14:39

      How does one avoid the neighbour by walking in the opposite direction, the entry and exit point don't change?

  • ihbh on 29/08/2024 - 07:39
    +13

    I think my neighbour is aggressive because he plays music with the window open

    Maybe he's just a p*ssy trying to give the impression that he's aggressive?

    • EightImmortals on 29/08/2024 - 08:11
      +4

      But he has a tattoo!

    • JIMB0 on 29/08/2024 - 08:59
      +1

      Most likely. Sounds like the typical insecure bully. They usually back down when confronted.

    • Sammy2000 on 29/08/2024 - 18:13

      This is the correct answer to the neighbour: "She is doing fine, how is your p***y…cat?"

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