My child has been asked to bring money to buy Father’s Day gift from stalls at the schools.
It’s all junk and I don’t want it. My child is onboard and rather use the money for a hot chocolate with me.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
Context: Is your child being targeted for not fitting in by an egotistical principal? Sometimes buying the soap wrapped in cellophane is easier than defying the school master from The Wall.
What!? No.
I was just trying to ascertain social norms.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
frowned upon by who?
Big School Stall
The Frown People
Other parents of the parent association or the teachers. I don’t know !
Who cares?
Whom*
Whom*
"If you can replace the word with he or she or another subject pronoun, use who. If you can replace it with him or her (or another object pronoun), use whom."
Your irreplaceable
Can always speak to your kids beforehand and give them some ideas about what you like. My kids usually come back with mugs, candles, and sometimes plants, which I'll all happily use. They also use a bit of class time to decorate the paper bag and draw a card which I think is a nice touch. But it's totally not an issue if they don't buy anything either. The younger ones tend to like to get something from the stall, by the time my older one reached grade 5 and 6, he stopped getting stuff from the stall.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
We are not in China. There is no CCTV monitoring what your accept or reject. No one really cares what you do.
Hard to know who the child is in this situation
I am
Whom*
Back in my day they would just say on any kids who want to go to the stalls can head out for 15 min, rest stay in class.
Though my day in school was like… 30 years ago…
My experience from the teacher's perspective was some want to get something from the stall, others don't. There was no pressure.
As for this nonsense -https://www.ozbargain.com.au/comment/15644298/redir, principal had nothing to do with the stall. It was run by parents from the parents club/P&C or whatever it's called at your school.
Occasionally a student would forget their money. I always made sure I had some small notes in my pocket for the day. Most kids repaid you, with genuine thanks the next day.
Were you taught in Latin?
My child is well aware that both my husband and I hate the junk that comes from these stalls. However my son still likes to bring some money to take a look and browse in case he sees something that he thinks we would like. We always tell him that he is under no need obligation to buy anything and can come home with nothing.
You might like to think of it as a donation to the P&F to help ease the pain. Our school has a raffle too if you want to donate without getting some landfill in return.
Our school used to do that, but had a Mother's Day stall.
A couple of dads pointed out that they'd rather have a small gift that their child got to choose that a very slim chance of winning a trailer or such.
Maybe they'll have something good under the counter.
I mean, who doesn't want a crappy, cheap pen with "Wrolds Greateast Dad" on it…
Usually the money form this is put back into the P&C coffers for supporting other things for the school students. So, you either pay a few bucks (it's usually $5 to $10 worth of crap.) and laugh it off for how cheesy it all is, but the P&C makes a few funds, or you dont. If your kid isnt into it, then that's fine.
Buy or dont buy, no one is going to send the "Father day stall police" to your house…
I agree, but a good proportion of that money also goes into Cheapo Gifto Co, the bane of all vegans environmentalists.
Personally, I'm with OP I'd much rather have the kids use that money to sit down at the local cafe and have a drink, rather than accumulate useless plastic rubbish.
Hell, I'd be happier to just give the cash to the P&C, and not have the buy/sell the trash. But that doesn't give the kids something that they have bought to give to me.
if your kid doesn't want to buy anything, who cares? it's not like the people manning the store are going to bag check them
The stall is not about a gift for you, its an opportunity for the child to use "his own" money, look at the merch available and decide what he thinks is something you would like. You're not supposed to tell the kid what you want (or that you want nothing), but instead give them $5 to go and decide for themselves. It teaches them to think about others, and to make decisions about what they think is a good gift.
Also consider if your child might feel left out when all the other kids are buying gifts for their parents and they're not.
All of this is of course depending on the kid's age.
My child is onboard and rather use the money for a hot chocolate with me.
Do both. Its not for you, its for your kid
Good point.
Child wants to know what they are buying but everything is a surprise package.
I will let the kid decide.
Very good argument in defence of buying junks😊 It's all for the sake of education!
Ozbar Gain put this perfectly!
I have been involved from the 'selling' point of view and the kids really enjoy the 'shopping' aspect. If they don't buy, nobody tends to notice as we each serve different kids and no one would put 2 and 2 together, getting 45 and talking about your child.
If I knew the child and parent it was even easier as I could point the child in the right direction, so to speak.
Mother's Day stall had a lot of donations, plus the 'Cheapo Gift Co' stuff.
Father's Day was mostly 'Cheapo Gift Co' stuff - hard to know what to donate for that one.
Ah honestly it's not a hill worth dying on, tell him to get chocolate and share it with his friends.
Oh great Johnny, it's Father's Day soon. Help me wash the car and I'll pay you $5 and me $5 which you can take to school and buy me a present if you want to, with the $10 from the stall. Or you could keep your $5 for another time and spend my $5 on something from the stall for me.
I'm sure you'll choose something nice I'll like and we can share it together on Fathers day.
Lots of lessons right there.
They won't care or even notice that your child doesn't purchase anything.
If the kid is on board, and is comfortable not buying anything, then no issue.
We still do these? I remember doing this when I was a kid.
99% of the stuff was pure junk, even then, and that was before Temu/Amazon/Alix….
It's all about the thought that counts
Gift from the stall or macaroni portrait? Decisions, decisions.
100% the macaroni portrait 👍
Yes, all these presents are usually junk that gets put aside after some effort to show you're enjoying/using the item the child has bought.
But unless someone is pressuring kids to bring $50+ to school to spend on junk, I would just roll with it and let the child decide what to do. It's the thought that counts on the day, not the random item they'll gift from Temu.
Do they do the same for Mother's Day?
Yep. Mum got a bath pack.
It's always bath stuff for women.
Stinky stinky women.
typical parent😏
My kids school haven’t done it in a couple of years. Us parents aren’t even allowed to go into the school for drop off anymore we just walk them to the gate.
Us parents aren’t even allowed to go into the school for drop off anymore we just walk them to the gate.
Definitely not a comment a boomer would make.
Just say no.
Teachers hate this stuff.
Having a conversation last week, walked into a class to see a JP teacher making handicrafts:
'What's that?'
'Gifts for the students Dads'
'Who came up with that stupid idea?'
they roll eyes
'Not me' threads another bead
This stuff isnt child led, made or wanted. It's utter wasteful, time consuming BS.
Please vote no by not purchasing. Value the important things like:
25/50/25 as to if it is good, usable in some way or crap. Luck of the draw.
Just give you kid the $5 or $10 (if you feel lucky) and say thank you and be happy that they made the attempt.
I think letting your child choose not to participate lets them have autonomy and independence. Go have that hot choccy with them.
I do tend to go along with the random fundraisers even if it’s stupid as it’s easier to go with the flow - this would change if my means were more limited. Anyone who judges should know better, everyone has different means.
Means is not an issue but I can’t stand wasting any amount of money.
I will send the money and the child can decide to either save it or get an item from the stall. When I asked yesterday, the answer was to not send money at all - the decision has been made in the head. :)
btw, you are also helping raise funds for the PNC, which helps your school.
Is your child really on board, or did you word it so they felt they couldn't get you something? Whether it's crap or not, primary school aged kids generally love having a bit of freedom and the opportunity to give their parents something they specifically chose themselves. Let your kid pick you something from the stall and grab a hot chocolate together some other time. Unless you're down to your last dime, let your kid have this pleasure if they choose to participate.
My kids love giving me gifts that they pick themselves even if I think it's a waste, I never tell them, because the happiest on their faces is priceless. Let your kid buy you something and take them out for hot chocolate as well.
My kids' school uses (yet another) app where you buy a ticket and they send the kids over to the stall, no money on the day.