My child has been asked to bring money to buy Father’s Day gift from stalls at the schools.
It’s all junk and I don’t want it. My child is onboard and rather use the money for a hot chocolate with me.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
yes, so many apps at our school, its absurd, they expect us to agree to all these T&Cs and enter our details and those of our children into various 3rd party apps over the years, plus sometimes payment or even direct debit information. I find it scary the education system seems to be behind the 8-ball with privacy and cyber security in this regard! Not to mention the amount of detail they put up via facebook despite all its privacy failings.
However I feel like a trouble maker for saying I won't do it for some (like the direct debit / booking app for after school care with hidden fees, or the forced third party finance company for payment of school fees they said everyone must join), and worried it will reflect on the children to push back too much.
What!? No.
I was just trying to ascertain social norms.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
frowned upon by who?
Big School Stall
The Frown People
Other parents of the parent association or the teachers. I don’t know !
Who cares?
Fortunately, there’s a simpler rule you can use to resolve the "who vs. whom" debate. If the sentence or the answer to your question works with “him” or “her,” then “whom” is the correct choice. If, however, it’s better to respond with “he” or “she,” then you should use “who.”
Whom*
"If you can replace the word with he or she or another subject pronoun, use who. If you can replace it with him or her (or another object pronoun), use whom."
Your irreplaceable
which garment told you that was correct ?
last I looked who was a subject, whom was an object
whom gives a damn ?
Can always speak to your kids beforehand and give them some ideas about what you like. My kids usually come back with mugs, candles, and sometimes plants, which I'll all happily use. They also use a bit of class time to decorate the paper bag and draw a card which I think is a nice touch. But it's totally not an issue if they don't buy anything either. The younger ones tend to like to get something from the stall, by the time my older one reached grade 5 and 6, he stopped getting stuff from the stall.
Agreed. Particularly younger kids also get a kick about being able to choose a present themselves.
I've been happy with what my kids have brought home. But even if it was useless junk, they are still proud to give it to me, and as a Dad I pretend as though I love it. That's worth the cost of admission.
There are plenty of other opportunities to save $10-20 throughout the year.
Does anyone have any insights whether it’s frowned upon to reject the school stalls?
We are not in China. There is no CCTV monitoring what your accept or reject. No one really cares what you do.
not yet
Hard to know who the child is in this situation
I am
Whom*
nicely placed !
👏😂👏
Back in my day they would just say on any kids who want to go to the stalls can head out for 15 min, rest stay in class.
Though my day in school was like… 30 years ago…
My experience from the teacher's perspective was some want to get something from the stall, others don't. There was no pressure.
As for this nonsense -https://www.ozbargain.com.au/comment/15644298/redir, principal had nothing to do with the stall. It was run by parents from the parents club/P&C or whatever it's called at your school.
Occasionally a student would forget their money. I always made sure I had some small notes in my pocket for the day. Most kids repaid you, with genuine thanks the next day.
Were you taught in Latin?
My child is well aware that both my husband and I hate the junk that comes from these stalls. However my son still likes to bring some money to take a look and browse in case he sees something that he thinks we would like. We always tell him that he is under no need obligation to buy anything and can come home with nothing.
This is a great approach however the young one usually unable to judge whether something is worth buying or not. Young kids as long as you handle out money to them they will jump on the bandwagon with their peers sometimes with peer pressure and have this fear of missing out similar to some people cannot back away when there is a good bargain on Ozbargain. However kids need to be trained not to be pressured buying things
I agree most stuff is junk from school stalls.
I told my kids don't buy anything this year. All I need is a hug and appreciation on fathers day. They crafted some artwork for me instead which not to their own accord but rather the art teacher suggested so. But nevertheless I prefer that kind of gift
You might like to think of it as a donation to the P&F to help ease the pain. Our school has a raffle too if you want to donate without getting some landfill in return.
Our school used to do that, but had a Mother's Day stall.
A couple of dads pointed out that they'd rather have a small gift that their child got to choose that a very slim chance of winning a trailer or such.
Maybe they'll have something good under the counter.
I mean, who doesn't want a crappy, cheap pen with "Wrolds Greateast Dad" on it…
Usually the money form this is put back into the P&C coffers for supporting other things for the school students. So, you either pay a few bucks (it's usually $5 to $10 worth of crap.) and laugh it off for how cheesy it all is, but the P&C makes a few funds, or you dont. If your kid isnt into it, then that's fine.
Buy or dont buy, no one is going to send the "Father day stall police" to your house…
I agree, but a good proportion of that money also goes into Cheapo Gifto Co, the bane of all vegans environmentalists.
Personally, I'm with OP I'd much rather have the kids use that money to sit down at the local cafe and have a drink, rather than accumulate useless plastic rubbish.
Hell, I'd be happier to just give the cash to the P&C, and not have the buy/sell the trash. But that doesn't give the kids something that they have bought to give to me.
if your kid doesn't want to buy anything, who cares? it's not like the people manning the store are going to bag check them
The stall is not about a gift for you, its an opportunity for the child to use "his own" money, look at the merch available and decide what he thinks is something you would like. You're not supposed to tell the kid what you want (or that you want nothing), but instead give them $5 to go and decide for themselves. It teaches them to think about others, and to make decisions about what they think is a good gift.
Also consider if your child might feel left out when all the other kids are buying gifts for their parents and they're not.
All of this is of course depending on the kid's age.
My child is onboard and rather use the money for a hot chocolate with me.
Do both. Its not for you, its for your kid
Good point.
Child wants to know what they are buying but everything is a surprise package.
I will let the kid decide.
Very good argument in defence of buying junks😊 It's all for the sake of education!
Ozbar Gain put this perfectly!
I have been involved from the 'selling' point of view and the kids really enjoy the 'shopping' aspect. If they don't buy, nobody tends to notice as we each serve different kids and no one would put 2 and 2 together, getting 45 and talking about your child.
If I knew the child and parent it was even easier as I could point the child in the right direction, so to speak.
Mother's Day stall had a lot of donations, plus the 'Cheapo Gift Co' stuff.
Father's Day was mostly 'Cheapo Gift Co' stuff - hard to know what to donate for that one.
agreed - in my observations it's a social activity for the kids in choosing and shopping - young kids have no idea of the value of money so will pay any amount in their hand for any object of passing interest
so keep any real amounts small - in cash up to say $5 - and let it be a simple fun activity for the kids to share
but if it requires your name, address and date of birth to register for an app, that would be a hard naw from me.
The stall is not about a gift for you, its an opportunity for the child to use "his own" money
It teaches them to think about others, and to make decisions
Bol-locks.
It's about raising money for the school, and nothing else. (And which should and would not be necessary if public education was properly funded in the first place…)
Post hoc rationalisation is disingenuous at best.
This is a like saying Coles is not for people who want to buy groceries but for shareholders to make money
The kids get a lot of pleasure out of choosing the gift they purchase, as well as the ones they make in class.
Its not for you, its for your kid.
Bingo
Nah but feelibg left out by not buying anything, its the same as FOMO
Kids should not be pressured to buy anything just because others do
Don't get tempted buying junk because of it
It's fine to hand out money but remember it's the thoughts that counts not the gift
It's better for them to write you a card or create a piece of artwork. That itself is worth much money than a $5 choose your own father's gift from stall
If you want them to do this choose own gift and decide what to spend on. Probably do so up to year 2 or 3. After that there's no point
Ah honestly it's not a hill worth dying on, tell him to get chocolate and share it with his friends.
Oh great Johnny, it's Father's Day soon. Help me wash the car and I'll pay you $5 and me $5 which you can take to school and buy me a present if you want to, with the $10 from the stall. Or you could keep your $5 for another time and spend my $5 on something from the stall for me.
I'm sure you'll choose something nice I'll like and we can share it together on Fathers day.
Lots of lessons right there.
They won't care or even notice that your child doesn't purchase anything.
If the kid is on board, and is comfortable not buying anything, then no issue.
We still do these? I remember doing this when I was a kid.
99% of the stuff was pure junk, even then, and that was before Temu/Amazon/Alix….
It's all about the thought that counts
Gift from the stall or macaroni portrait? Decisions, decisions.
100% the macaroni portrait 👍
Yes, all these presents are usually junk that gets put aside after some effort to show you're enjoying/using the item the child has bought.
But unless someone is pressuring kids to bring $50+ to school to spend on junk, I would just roll with it and let the child decide what to do. It's the thought that counts on the day, not the random item they'll gift from Temu.
Do they do the same for Mother's Day?
Yep. Mum got a bath pack.
It's always bath stuff for women.
Stinky stinky women.
typical parent😏
My kids school haven’t done it in a couple of years. Us parents aren’t even allowed to go into the school for drop off anymore we just walk them to the gate.
Us parents aren’t even allowed to go into the school for drop off anymore we just walk them to the gate.
Definitely not a comment a boomer would make.
Just say no.
Teachers hate this stuff.
Having a conversation last week, walked into a class to see a JP teacher making handicrafts:
'What's that?'
'Gifts for the students Dads'
'Who came up with that stupid idea?'
they roll eyes
'Not me' threads another bead
This stuff isnt child led, made or wanted. It's utter wasteful, time consuming BS.
Please vote no by not purchasing. Value the important things like:
25/50/25 as to if it is good, usable in some way or crap. Luck of the draw.
Just give you kid the $5 or $10 (if you feel lucky) and say thank you and be happy that they made the attempt.
I think letting your child choose not to participate lets them have autonomy and independence. Go have that hot choccy with them.
I do tend to go along with the random fundraisers even if it’s stupid as it’s easier to go with the flow - this would change if my means were more limited. Anyone who judges should know better, everyone has different means.
Means is not an issue but I can’t stand wasting any amount of money.
I will send the money and the child can decide to either save it or get an item from the stall. When I asked yesterday, the answer was to not send money at all - the decision has been made in the head. :)
btw, you are also helping raise funds for the PNC, which helps your school.
"I think letting your child choose not to participate lets them have autonomy and independence."
Sure, if it is really the child who made the decision.
But guessing here that OP has told their kid all about what a stupid thing it is, used hot chocolate as the bait, and then had their child nod that they wanted hot chocolate.
If it was all so clear cut that the kid didn't want to participate, they wouldn't be creating a post about it.
Is your child really on board, or did you word it so they felt they couldn't get you something? Whether it's crap or not, primary school aged kids generally love having a bit of freedom and the opportunity to give their parents something they specifically chose themselves. Let your kid pick you something from the stall and grab a hot chocolate together some other time. Unless you're down to your last dime, let your kid have this pleasure if they choose to participate.
My kids love giving me gifts that they pick themselves even if I think it's a waste, I never tell them, because the happiest on their faces is priceless. Let your kid buy you something and take them out for hot chocolate as well.
I remember being a kid eons ago doing this.
I remember when I was about 8 or 9 going to the market on the weekend with my parents and sneakily getting them gifts with my pocket money ($3.50 per week) for Christmas. The only thing I remember specifically was a soap in the shape of a bear. My parents didn't want bear soap, but I'm sure they appreciated the gesture.
I get your sentiment - I have no interest in the junk, but I am a couple of years away from this issue myself.
Social development is important for kids, so let them choose - they might feel being the odd one out and not buying portrays them poorly in a social circle that matters to them.
Think of your kid, rather than yourself.
Think about how much joy your child gets from picking out something special just for you.
It’s not about the gift itself; it’s about the excitement and pride they feel in choosing and surprising you on Father’s Day.
A lot of kids now come from non-homogenous households so this is important to allow kids (like mine do) as their mother would do nothing to have me celebrated otherwise.
If you aren't interested then the hones is on you to have that chat with your child - the shcool isn't there to parent for you, it's there to help those who might not have a parent or one wililng to do the right thing.
Personally i like empowering the kids to 'shop' in a safe environment.
Yes it's just crap, but it's only $20 (or whatever amount you choose - I think we can chose between $5 and $20) and the kids are so happy and proud. And the randomness and their explanation for why they bought something is hilarious.
I don't think I've ever used any of what they bought, yet it's still my favorite part of Father's Day. Just hype them up and enjoy their excitement instead of being grumpy :)
Edit: school won't care, and he might say it's fine, but all his friends will buy gifts and he will be sad to be the only one left out. Just let him buy something AND get him a hot chocolate.
Just a thought for those that do participate in this or the Mother's Day stall…
Give the child the money in an envelope with the amount on the outside.
If they are also purchase for grandparents, please write on this on the envelope! Makes it a lot easier for the VOLUNTEER parents that are looking after the stall.
It also helps if you write the 'name' or 'title' they are buying for - Daddy, Dad, Mummy, Mum, Oma, Opa, Nonna, Nonno… can't think of others at the moment! At our school we've actually had lovely mugs with several names for granddad on them, all different languages. If the volunteer sees this it makes it much easier.
Poor kid your one of those father's who think's their son is Cristiano Ronaldo but is really Eric the Eel
School doesn't care. The kids I'm caring for are excited to be getting their dad a present. They like that they can just take the money, go to the "shop", pick out something on their own and really think about what he might like/use and buy it. They want their dad to know they're thinking about him. The present might not be the most amazing present in the world, but they're also quite cheap.
For me when they got me presents from the mother's day stall it wasn't so much what they bought, but the thought that went into it. One of the teachers was telling me about how one of the girls spent quite a long time and was really considering what things I would actually use and talked about things that maybe other people in the house would like, but would not be a good gift for me. I don't mind if they get me anything or what they get me, but it was lovely to hear about how thoughtful she was when choosing something.
It's a gift, thought that counts.
Let your child be a child, the joy from your face when they give you a gift to them is priceless. Worth the few bucks they spend. Treasure it.
Yeah it’s all junk, but seeing what they choose for you is very sweet. Being able to surprise their parent with a present is pretty novel. And yeah, it’s the thought that counts! I miss the primary school days where they had the stalls and love my collection of crap from the Mother’s Day stall over the years :)
last fathers day i got an epic parker pen from the stall with engraving, had no idea how much mum paid for it BUT its the best thing. all i ask for is socks mainly as they cant get that wrong.
Two left socks?
you never know
You're missing the point of the stall.
The stall is for your child, it's not about the father (or mother for mothers day stalls) or the gift. It is about giving your child a feeling of independence and that they purchased you a gift.
100% - where else can a child independently choose something for their father?
It also aims to build community at the school… Something we're increasingly missing as our populations (ironically) become larger and more technologically connected.
They don’t even tell what’s inside the bag. It’s a blind purchase.
there's also mother's day stall and market days throughout the whole year
I got a rock one time :)
My kids' school uses (yet another) app where you buy a ticket and they send the kids over to the stall, no money on the day.