If You Had The Magical Power to Shoplift Anything from Any Supermarket and You Always Get Away with It, Would You Do It?

Let's say you have to use everything in your own house so you can't sell stuff to make money. Would you just walk into Coles or IGA or Costco and load up your cart full of stuff and just walk out, if you knew you could get away with it 100% of the time with zero legal, moral, societal, or any kind of repercussions other than living with your own conscience. So you're still stealing, you're harming their bottom line or causing them to pay more insurance. The magic makes it so no one else ever know the stuff was stolen.

Or would you just do it to big billion dollar chains and never to independent places or co-ops or whatever.

Comments

  • +7

    Now I know why you had to open Christmas presents early..

  • +63

    Woke up to let the dogs out, checked ozbargain, saw this, felt confused, going back to sleep now thinking WTF did I just read?

    • +3

      I read ozbargain and then the dogs refused to go out!

    • +16

      Wait… WHOOOOOO LET THE DOGS OUT????

      • +10

        Who, who, who, who, who?
        .

        • +2

          Wannapeepodonjungae Yippiaeyo

  • +18

    I dunno.

    A bit like reading posts that have no meaning…

    I feel like I want the time back, but I'm told it doesn't work like that.

    Go study Applied or Moral Philosophy and get back to us,

    • +10

      I agreed with everything you said right up until the last five words

      • +3

        I'm only nice to one person a day… lol

    • +1

      It's a textbook trolley problem question. Philosophers have been pondering it ever since the advent of the supermarket.

    • This post is a breath of fresh air if you read the comments in the paper shredder post

  • +4

    I too was reading a light novel this morning…..

  • +10

    Is this a veiled comment about the U.S. right now?

  • +9

    Drugsarebad.jpeg

  • +19

    I’m disappointed this magical stealing power doesn’t include delivery. Still have to go and fill my cart? Nah…

  • +1

    Am I the only one with this power or doesn’t everyone else posses the same power?

    If it’s only me, then yes. If it’s everyone then i think the business will cease to exist.

  • +2

    Yep, absolutely, and I would use that power to empty out Coles and Woolworths and use the food I stole to feed the homeless and the needy.

    • -1

      And make the 310K people that work for woolies and coles homeless to? How do you plug the gap in gov revenue of around 800 milion from 2 big chains? Then is Aldi next?

  • +11

    That makes no sense. Cheers

    • +1

      Well, OP wants Coles to be making no cents.

  • +1

    If I had to, I would goto coles/woolworths (no need to steal in bulk at costco)… But I would also try to use my power for good and not just evil, by stealing for the homeless too ;)

    If I didn't have to (ie I could still choose to pay) then I would. But it sure would be tempting

    • -5

      You'd have to host the homeless in your home to feed them though.

      • +8

        I find it unfair for people to come into your hypothetical question and neg you for clarifying the requirements that you're making up.

  • +2

    eneloops or baby formula

  • +1

    Any supermarket on Earth or the universe?

    • -1

      Anywhere in the universe for the rest of your natural life.

      • I would sell my extremely niche magic power to DARPA to quickly identify any existing civilizations in the universe that have developed enough to have supermarkets.

        • +1

          Revealing your power to the world and offering yourself to science is noble. US military science less noble, but admirable you trust our allies enough to do that.

        • Lol. DARPA already knows…..

  • +5

    So basically make everyone else pay for what you steal..

    • -2

      Getting something you didn't pay for is the gist of shoplifting, yes.

      • Yes, point being others have to cover that cost.

        • Moral dilemma: hi, everybody.

        • You could say that about literally everything on this website

  • +3

    I think this is how a lot of America and a fair few in Australia actually feel

  • +4

    Must have been pay day yesterday. OP needs to lay off the heavy stuff.

  • +4

    Hey go easy on the weed

  • +3

    Sounds like California, except there you are allowed to sell the stolen goods so you can buy crack or fentanyl.

    • Only crack or fentanyl?

      • I suppose you could use the proceeds to buy whatever drugs you liked?

        • Only drugs?

  • +3

    News headline

    "Thief tries to justify his kleptomania on Australian bargain website"

  • -5

    Lol why would I feel bad?

    Coles/Woolworths loses $100-$200 a week because of me? They throw out more stock every day that's expired/broken etc.

    Bizarre question.

    • -1

      (Because it's a giant corporation) Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark

      • +1

        Lol +1 for one of my all time favourite Simpsons quotes

  • Someone has been shoplifting the Magic Mushrooms

    • ALDI special deals getting quite exotic.

  • +4

    No.

  • Civil disorder occurs when people have a big enough perceived grievance, something brings the issue to a head, and they are in a situation where they have the numbers that mean they think they can get away with it.

    You can read what their grievance is by who/what they direct their anger at.

    Sometimes they riot, and smash things up. That says their grievance is that they have no power.

    Sometimes they loot the shops and the banks. Which says their grievance is that they are being exploited by the group that has economic power.

    And sometimes they attack police vehicles. Which says their grievance is that they as a group are being picked on for their race, religion or whatever.

    It is interesting that someone would talk about what is essentially looting the supermarkets. Have the people who have been pushing the idea that the supermarkets are price gouging been that successful that people actually believe it, despite the evidence that there is nothing disproportionate about their prices, profits or profit margins?

      • I think we all have fantasies of looting shops.

        Yes, its sad there's so many people like that around who convince themselves that its OK for them to have these anti-social urges, to lie and cheat and steal and do cruel things to small helpless animals, and act on them when they get the opportunity, because they believe everyone else has them too.

        • +2

          but the rich (and their minions) do that all the time

        • -2

          do cruel things to small helpless animals

          You're vegan?

        • Those things aren't remotely comparable.

          Someone not giving a shit that Woolworths CEO has buy a slightly smaller tropical island than they would have liked with this year's bonus versus being a psychopath and torturing animals

      • +1

        My fantasy is that I'm rich enough that I don't need to steal.

  • -3

    If I have this magic power then I would give the loots to low income folks and not hogged it.

  • +4

    magic

    You had 3 genie wishes…and you used it on this????

    • +5

      Come on, you've seen AustriaBargain's posts and comments before. I'm frankly surprised they didn't wish to be head of a Department to Count the Moon or "spoons would only work if you held them in your left hand".

  • +1

    1000000%. We're all in competition, I'd like to pretend we're not but the top end of town who hold all the money and power DO treat society like that so you're a chump if you don't. Co-ops would be no-go but it's free rein on corporations.

    In the immortal words of Wu-Tang, protect your goddamn neck.

  • Are you financially strained that you cannot afford food on the table or a compulsive shoplifter who loves to pick things up and doesn't pay? Finally, the items you picked up and were not paid for will be recovered by an increase in their charges on other items we all pay.

    Also, one of my good friends owns the local Sydney IGA and amongst the competition from C&WW, he has to face the problem of people taking away food and items from the aisle. He has recordings of all the people taking them away but finally, he just ignores them because he feels that this person may have some genuine financial issues which force them to take food home and in case he Nic pic them they will feel insulted or they will not be able to feed them. You will be surprised that the aged lady does this and hence his decision not to ask them to open their bags.

  • -1

    I wish someone had shoplifted this ridiculous post so I didn't waste my time reading it (and now commenting on it)

  • +4

    Please just don't steal.

    The people paying for it are :

    • Not Coles.
    • Not Woolworths.
    • Not their insurers.
    • the other non-stealing customers.
    • +1

      Yeah the social contract no longer exists, it's every man for himself.

  • +2

    I'd steal the heart of the deli manager.

    a healthy heart can fetch up to $25,000 on the black market.

    • You'd seriously let all the other organs go to waste?

      • +3

        Feed a family for less than $10.

  • RHCP co-founders Kiedis & Flea used to do this regularly in their younger days. They subscribe to the whatever you do eventually comes back to you philosophy.

  • well 'cash in the till' should be the correct answer if this was a poll

  • Self serve checkouts

    • +1

      I'd just take the scales from the self-serve checkouts - straight to the nearest metal recycler. The rest of it works well enough - even the cameras to recognise fruit a pretty good now.

      I've no issue with good fast self-serve checkouts. I've got issue with anti-human computer programming and pushing Alpha-software onto paying customers.

  • +1

    zero - moral - repercussions

    Morals are deeper than if you can simply get away with something without affecting others.

    That discussion point alone would of been a better can of worms to open than what ever the rest of this is.

    • No, OP is effectively saying your brain also melts away post purchase so you don't deal with moral issues.

  • Can you shoplift a bunch of visa / eftpos gift cards? You'll be making money then!?!! Does it need to be declared to the ATO?

    • +1

      Well no, the cards wouldn't be activated. And you'd have to eat the cards in your own home.

      • You eat your cards .. out in public?

  • Broccoli

    • +1

      Okay mum whatever you say…

  • How's the magic power work if you tell the staff that you're shoplifting?

    • Blip like repercussions for the staff. A slow fade.

  • rem the covid times when private businesse..e..g landlords couldnt boot out people for paying rent- even though they could move into a smaller place etc and the onus was on landlords…

  • +2

    Can I get 1mill dollars if I get this power and don't use it for a month? If I live in a cliff house with no wifi?

  • Could steal stuff now the security is hopeless and I see the local ferals do it all the time with no intervention from staff or dedicated security.
    I dont because why would I want to live with being a scumbag?

  • +1

    Dont need to imagine or think about this, just look at it happening in America right now lol.

  • +1

    AustriaBargain IRL https://9now.nine.com.au/a-current-affair/new-technology-tar…

    I don't even understand the question but I've already read it five times. I want to understand but refuse to read it again as I know we're being trolled.

    • OP is Tracey Grimshaw, undercover for next week's ACA.

  • +1

    There is a (theoretical) model of communism where the government operates warehouses and people can visit whenever they want and take whatever they want. Personally I feel that people should have to pay cost price for goods and sevrices to prevent waste and misuse; most people don't appreciate things that are completely free.

    I have no problem stealing from greedy capitalists who put 1000% markups on the actual production price of goods and services. They are the ones who are stealing from us with their huge profit margins which drive greedflation. An example: it costs about $1.50 AUD to mass produce a packet of of 28 generic 5mg Cialis pills; it costs $80+ to purchase that packet at retail in Australia.

    • -2

      Is research, marketing, distribution free?

  • I'd be too busy trying to magically shoplift the self-checkout machine itself.

  • +1

    I'm not struggling financially. These stores are not going to take the hit financially, they just charge it to other customers and make their profits as normal. No, I wouldn't do it. I might try to justify it if I was doing it tough and pretend that I'm not just costing other people more money.

  • Judging by the number of questions the OP asks on here, he/she clearly has too much time on their hands.

  • Get yourself a rich sugardaddy then you too can do this 'free shoplift anywhere' you want.

  • Bread

  • OP is mentally ill.

  • +1

    The one trick supermarkets don't want you to know!

  • +3

    If your morals are based on not getting caught, then you have no morals.
    Happy to be honest in my dealings as that’s an important character trait to me.

    • -3

      I probably should have made a poll. Oh well, next time.

  • I did see an article about a bloke that had stolen thousands in premium steaks…

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