Sharing My Tricks for The Toilet

Boioioioi on 13/10/2022 - 08:21

Hey Everyone,

I wanted to share two tricks I find so handy in the toilet, that it boggles my mind nobody else does! With these methods I've been able to live without a toilet brush or plunger for the past couple of years, and my toilet is sparkling clean!

  1. When the toilet gets clogged from too much TP or other things, I squeeze in about a table spoon of dish soap. Then flush it a tiny bit just to mix the soap in. Let it sit for 15-20 minutes and then flush properly. Miraculously gets unclogged and flushes every time! Sometimes it does need to sit longer than 20 minutes though.

  2. When I get the poop stains on the toilet, I use the store brand bleach cleaner (The one in the tall blue bottle) around the rim and on the stain, again in about 15 minutes, if you flush the stain will be gone! Even really bad ones.

I hope my pooping tricks can bring you joy

Home & Garden

Comments

  • Xistn on 13/10/2022 - 08:24
    +47

    Not a fan of poop jokes..

    But they are a solid number 2.

    • Antikythera on 13/10/2022 - 21:22
      +6

      its a shit joke to begin with, and you told it wrong making it even more crappy.

      • ccrap on 14/10/2022 - 17:44
        +6

        I’m hereeeeee

  • Belgarath on 13/10/2022 - 08:30
    +28

    So you leave your poop splatter all over the bowl soaked in bleach. Bet you're single.

    • AustriaBargain on 13/10/2022 - 10:44
      +1

      Even if you live alone, a guest could come over any moment.

      • lachhelix on 13/10/2022 - 12:46
        +41

        Not in my house - I don't even answer the front door if they haven't "made an appointment" 😂

        • [Deactivated] on 13/10/2022 - 19:53
          +2

          Found my twin!

          Makes Census, JWs, and school kid readathon sponsorships peaceful too.

          • lachhelix on 13/10/2022 - 19:59
            +1

            @[Deactivated]: LOL
            I'm glad it's not just me….
            I sit on the couch watching TV and eating while they're at the door waiting 😂

            • [Deactivated] on 13/10/2022 - 20:07
              +10

              @lachhelix: Damn, we should get together… Oh wait… If you come by I won't answer the door - and neither will you.

        • Miss B on 14/10/2022 - 11:00
          +2

          Yeah, there's no justification for just 'dropping by' in the age of mobile phones. Send a text and wait for me to approve/deny the request.

          • lainey13 on 14/10/2022 - 11:54
            +6

            @Miss B: For some reason, this is not a concept to those over 60. My parents and in laws are constantly trying to drop by with zero notification :(

            • lachhelix on 14/10/2022 - 20:04
              +2

              @lainey13: I wonder how long it'll take till they get the picture :p

  • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 13/10/2022 - 08:31
    +40

    Born to shit. Forced to wipe.

  • Euphemistic on 13/10/2022 - 08:38
    +80

    So you waste money on bleach when you could use a reusable brush that doesn’t add extra chemicals into our wastewater systems?

    If your loo is getting blocked by too much toilet paper, you’re also doing it wrong.

      • Euphemistic on 13/10/2022 - 08:59
        +25

        More to the point was why would you use a purchased chemical application (apparently twice) when a $2 brush will work and last for years.

          • Xistn on 13/10/2022 - 09:47
            +49

            @Motek Benzona: Rinse the brush afterwards you animal!

              • spaceflight on 15/10/2022 - 21:37

                @Motek Benzona:

                Yes, because water safely cleans up all traces of shit

                So you use bleach in the shower to clean your ass?

          • filmer on 13/10/2022 - 09:47
            +12

            @Motek Benzona: The idea of having a shit-scrubbing brush sitting there is quite revolting.

          • Euphemistic on 13/10/2022 - 10:18
            +9

            @Motek Benzona: It’s not hard to clean the brush off, just remove the offending marks and flush while you brush a clean part of the bowl where the water is flushing past.

            Perhaps your diet needs some help if you have a massive problem with marks.

              • Euphemistic on 13/10/2022 - 11:02
                +13

                @Motek Benzona: I would have thought someone who was vegan was a little more environmentally sympathetic. Thought that was the whole idea of going vegan, let alone vegan types typically thinking their sh!t don’t stink.

                Anyway just because someone else is dumping chemicals into a river doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you can to reduce the total load. Will one person make a significant difference? Nope. Will it help if lots of people reduce their impact? Definitely.

                Ultimately, I don’t really care what you do, just offering cost free alternatives.

                • us3rnam3tak3n on 13/10/2022 - 19:46
                  +6

                  @Euphemistic: Broken window theory - someone else has done (is doing) more damage to the environment, so I might as well cause unrestrained damage too.

                • resisting the urge on 15/10/2022 - 11:55

                  @Euphemistic: It's years of detergent ads showing clean clear plumbing once a litre or so gets dumped into them like the person in the ad does every time, emptying the bottle like they run to the supermarket to buy another one after eery dump

      • bobwokeup on 13/10/2022 - 12:09
        +2

        You must be over 70 with a comment like that. No wonder you keep getting negged!!

      • Roddi on 13/10/2022 - 13:20
        +1

        OK boomer (dunno if you're actually a boomer, but you sound just like dad).

      • Lastchancetosee on 14/10/2022 - 08:56
        +1

        Reductio ad absurdum.

        Hospital cleaners use chemicals, but bottles of bleach and other potentially lethal products can't be left in toilets, as there is axrisk of burns or ingestion. A brush is provided, however, so both options are viable.

    • Bren20 on 13/10/2022 - 19:41
      +2

      Bleach breaks down really quick

      • capslock janitor on 15/10/2022 - 00:54
        +1

        Source

        • Bren20 on 15/10/2022 - 08:19
          +2

          From wiki

          A Risk Assessment Report (RAR) conducted by the European Union on sodium hypochlorite conducted under Regulation EEC 793/93 concluded that this substance is safe for the environment in all its current, normal uses.[26] This is due to its high reactivity and instability. The disappearance of hypochlorite is practically immediate in the natural aquatic environment, reaching in a short time concentration as low as 10−22 μg/L or less in all emission scenarios. In addition, it was found that while volatile chlorine species may be relevant in some indoor scenarios, they have a negligible impact in open environmental conditions. Further, the role of hypochlorite pollution is assumed as negligible in soils.

    • VXCT on 13/10/2022 - 22:27
      -2

      Is this really a question? Are you gonna bring up climate change next? This could be useful tricks not necessarily happening all the time. No one stop you using a $2 brush last your life time but equally using whatever chemicals is not up to you.

    • capslock janitor on 15/10/2022 - 00:46
      +2

      What reusable/brush kit do y'all recommend tho??

    • cheeseburger on 16/10/2022 - 12:21
      +1

      I’m no chemist but bleach breaks down pretty fast in water. In fact, bleach can be added to drinking water supplies to disinfect it. I’d be more concerned about the poo than the bleach.

  • sharkyoz on 13/10/2022 - 08:38
    +8

    here for the crappy jokes

    • Xistn on 13/10/2022 - 08:44
      +11

      I prefer sh*tty puns, but aint no party pooper.

  • MS Paint on 13/10/2022 - 08:43
    +5

    I'm certain username checks out but I just can work out how just yet.

    • SF3 on 13/10/2022 - 09:51
      +11

      It's OP's sound effects when they do their business into the toilet.

      • Boioioioi on 13/10/2022 - 10:03
        +4

        How did you know?

  • Clear on 13/10/2022 - 08:44
    +8

    Bucket of water for the first one. Toilet brush for the second one.

    • Kangal on 13/10/2022 - 15:48
      +5

      On a serious note, you should Full-Flush the toilet with just the poop. It will clear the crap. Then wipe, throw in bin, wipe again until satisfied. Now you have a half-load of crappy-paper. Full-flush again. All clear, no clogs. Now if there's any skid marks that didn't clear, use the brush. When flushing midway through use the flush to rinse out the brush and hit it around the bowl carefully to dry it out before placing it back to its holder.

      Other advice?
      0- Change the seating for something better, more comfy, and soft closes. Women tend to notice.
      1- Regularly clean the toilet. Maybe once a week or more/less common depending on its usage. First with wiping the area with TP and a flush, then use bleach.
      2- If possible, install a bidet. A butt washer. The water of life. It will make it much easier to clean your bunghole, and you'll use less TP saving you $$.
      3- Don't use the cheapest TP, unless it's very cheap. I think it's worth spoiling yourself here. Some 2-PLY are much much better than 3-PLY because they're puffy/soft-textured. This arsehole recommends.
      4- Have a soap dispenser, and put some on a wad of toilet paper. And make this the last thing you wipe with, after your first/second dry wipes.

      • Boioioioi on 13/10/2022 - 16:43
        +2

        You throw your TP in the bin? Also soap probably isn't good for your butthole man. It is meant for external use only. Your butthole, just like your genitals, should only be washed with water

        • ATangk on 13/10/2022 - 18:53
          +5

          In parts of the world, e.g. Asia, the sewer systems aren’t designed to handle toilet paper. You don’t flush TP there.

        • us3rnam3tak3n on 13/10/2022 - 20:09
          +5

          Pretty sure genitalia should be washed with soap, but rinsed thoroughly.

        • Kangal on 13/10/2022 - 20:56
          +1

          Where did I say I throw used TP in the bin?

          Nah, not internal of the bunghole, the area where you can reach with your TP is not-gey and fair game to clean properly. If you ever had a day walking around with a bit of poop there, you know what I'm talking about. It sticks, it stinks, and makes you feel ew.

          Lets say if I walked upto you now, and with my finger I wiped some poo on your forearm… would you be happy to just wipe it with a tissue? I bet not. You'd run to the sink and wash it thoroughly with water and soap, and maybe even use something extra like disinfectant or alcohol to forget the trauma.
          …so why wouldn't you clean your butt better?

          I'm not just talking out from my arse here ; )

          • McFly on 14/10/2022 - 13:36
            +4

            @Kangal:

            Where did I say I throw used TP in the bin?

            Then wipe, throw in bin

            • Kangal on 14/10/2022 - 14:21
              +2

              @McFly: Ah woops, I meant "in bowl" and not "in bin".

        • anonymous01 on 13/10/2022 - 21:27
          +1

          To unclog the toilet, does it have to be dish soap, or a tablespoon of hand wash soap will do?

      • belongsinforums on 14/10/2022 - 17:41
        +5

        Flushing with the lid up is going to spray toilet water all over your bathroom..

  • Islund on 13/10/2022 - 08:44
    +3

    Holy crap aquaman!

    How do you clog your toilet with paper - which newspaper is this?

    • Xistn on 13/10/2022 - 08:46
      +3

      Prob uses those microfiber cloths at Bunnings.

    • Euphemistic on 13/10/2022 - 09:00
      +3

      It’s president 45 on the job.

    • ThithLord on 13/10/2022 - 10:00
      +2

      Picked up a subscription to the Age

      • capslock janitor on 15/10/2022 - 00:51
        +1

        I miss getting free newspaper in the mail 😭😭

    • Boioioioi on 13/10/2022 - 10:04
      +10

      anything from murdoch, it's already shitty to begin with

      • [Deactivated] on 13/10/2022 - 19:40
        -4

        Is Murdoch the one that's left, or normal?

        • us3rnam3tak3n on 13/10/2022 - 20:13
          +2

          Most news outlets lean towards conservative. If your assets aren't at least in the tens of millions, their agenda is not intended to favour you.

    • [Deactivated] on 14/10/2022 - 09:51
      -1

      First world problems. We use bidet to wash and toiletpaper to dry. We were watching the toiletpaper frenzy unfold with our clean ass.

  • CyberMurning on 13/10/2022 - 08:46
    +2

    perfect material to read while eating cheap cereals from amazon deals

  • AustriaBargain on 13/10/2022 - 08:59
    +25

    Also a pro tip, if you see a poop stain you can sometimes wash it away with your piss stream.

    • MS Paint on 13/10/2022 - 09:03
      +11

      @iNeed2Pee (can you confirm or deny)

      • iNeed2Pee on 13/10/2022 - 13:17
        +18

        I CONFIRM!!!!!

    • Ghost47 on 13/10/2022 - 09:14
      +3

      That’s always a fun little challenge.

      • capslock janitor on 15/10/2022 - 00:52
        +1

        But then there's this seaweed algae looking shit stained at minuscus level!

    • Cheaplikethebird on 13/10/2022 - 09:49
      +1

      pissthatshitoff.com

    • anonymous01 on 13/10/2022 - 21:29
      +1

      It works for us guys. Girls, please don't try this at home.

  • Donaldhump on 13/10/2022 - 09:01
    +3

    if your dunny gets clogged, simple solution.
    get a 1.25 litre coke bottle, cut off the bottom, plunge like mad, job done.
    through coke bottle in garden for dog to play with.

    • MS Paint on 13/10/2022 - 09:04
      +1

      What do you do with the 1.25 litres of coke?

      • Donaldhump on 13/10/2022 - 09:04
        +13

        plunge like mad

      • McFly on 13/10/2022 - 16:19
        +7

        Use it to rinse the bowl. It's about all it's good for anyway.

  • Donaldhump on 13/10/2022 - 09:11
    +9

    you need to do your dumps at work on the work coin if not wfh.

    • jizmo on 13/10/2022 - 12:23
      +2

      Thinking the same thing as a piss and fart only dunny. But then I was seriously thinking what happens on the week-end.
      Taking Imodium on Friday arv could you hold out till work hours Monday.
      You'd look a bit silly clocking into work Monday not making the crapper by the last 20 feet.

      • Donaldhump on 14/10/2022 - 13:52
        +1

        i live on acreage, plenty of spots to snap one off

    • McFly on 13/10/2022 - 16:18
      +1

      I'd use the work toilet, but to each their own…

    • bmxr on 14/10/2022 - 19:06
      +5

      Boss makes a dollar,
      I make a dime.
      That's why I poop,
      on company time.

  • coffeeinmyveins on 13/10/2022 - 09:18
    +2

    When I get the poop stains on the toilet, I use the store brand bleach cleaner (The one in the tall blue bottle) around the rim and on the stain, again in about 15 minutes, if you flush the stain will be gone! Even really bad ones.

    Wait why are you letting literal shit sit on the toilet for long enough that you need to do this? Am I the only one that doesn't leave a toilet with massive shit stains on it?

    • [Deactivated] on 13/10/2022 - 19:38
      +1

      YES.

  • kaleidoscope on 13/10/2022 - 09:18
    +2

    Here is my 2 cents.

    When the toilet gets clogged from too much TP

    Start using an electronic bidet seat. It's more cleaner, more hygienic and good for the env (less tp) and clogging your toilet with TP will be a thing of the past.

    When I get the poop stains on the toilet, I use the store brand bleach cleaner

    I use the brush after each use if or as needed and use the cleaning products when its time for a clean. Again you're doing good for the env with less use of cleaning products that gets washed away to the sewerage system and no need for waiting 15 mins.

    • Shame on 13/10/2022 - 22:47
      +2

      To be fair, the drain from your sink and your toilet go to the same sewer (unless you have greywater system), so you could argue that OP should not wash dishes until absolutely necessary in order to stop chemicals going into the sewer

      • kaleidoscope on 15/10/2022 - 16:09

        Hehe.. what i’m telling is not to over do it (like abusing anti bacterial products)

    • node modules on 15/10/2022 - 15:53

      i empty bleach water from my the bucket into the toilet after mopping. is it not good?

      • spaceflight on 15/10/2022 - 21:45

        Bleach quickly breaks down into water and salt as it reacts with things.

        Chances are there is no bleach left in what you are putting into the toilet.

  • Jimothy Wongingtons on 13/10/2022 - 09:37
    +16

    Nothing a poop knife won’t fix

    • Kangal on 13/10/2022 - 15:38
      +3

      This guy poops 👍

  • foxmulder on 13/10/2022 - 09:38
    +2

    Someone says if you eat the right things, you only need to sit and do your business seconds later and you don't even have to wipe :)

    • Jimothy Wongingtons on 13/10/2022 - 09:59
      +3

      seconds later

      I cant imagine a reality where Im not taking a 30 min 9am 'meeting' on the daily at the office.

      • Xistn on 13/10/2022 - 12:55
        +3

        I have mastered the art over many many years to get back my recess free time.

    • AustriaBargain on 13/10/2022 - 10:35
      +9

      I have done rigorous experiments on this and can confirm that the right thing is not KFC Zinger Boxes.

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