This was posted 4 years 1 month 16 days ago, and might be an out-dated deal.

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Kleenex Complete Clean Toilet Paper, 45 Rolls $19.50 ($17.55 S&S) + Delivery ($0 with Prime / $39 Spend) @ Amazon AU

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Extra thick sheets according to the image on Amazon. Otherwise, enjoy the finger in the bum feeling.

Price History at C CamelCamelCamel.

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closed Comments

  • Not as thick as some

    • +5

      Too thick and it will be classified as Domino's pizza.

      • +1

        Would taste as good and more nutritional.

        • +2

          That would depend on the droppings toppings.

  • +12

    Oh hell no. This is the worst toilet paper in the industry.

    You don't need ridges that compromise the very modest structural integrity of toilet paper just because it looks a bit like the super absorbent paper towels that you definitely shouldn't be using as toilet paper either.

    Only use this if you have a fetish for self administered accidental finger jabs at the worst time and you like little bits of torn paper left behind in the trenches.

    You couldn't pay me to use this. Never again.

    • +1

      Genuine question - whats your paper of choice?

      • +6

        Quilton 3 ply

      • +1

        Bit late, but Quilton is my go to when it pops on sale.

    • +6

      Page is gone but here's the full story posted by someone a long time ago:

      Toilet paper.

      Kleenex Cottonelle, to be exact.

      It would have to be the worst toilet paper to ever grace my ass.

      Now, I can tolerate the scratchy public toilet paper-type paper; and I can tolerate those bloody little toilet paper squares. But this stuff — mate, it's just wrong. Sure, I love soft toilet paper — I mean, this is my ass I'm wiping — but how soft is too soft?

      When I wipe my ass with Cottonelle toilet paper, it rips or leaves little paper dags in my asscrack.

      I have tried scrunching. It rips.

      I have tried folding. It rips.

      I used to think there was nothing worse than having to fish out the ripped bits, until I noticed that when I have a shower and I am washing my butt, I find little things like worm eggs in my crack hair.

      I took worming tablets. No help. It turns out, Cottonelle toilet paper kind of flakes when you wipe. Not just big flakes like rips, but little flakes that roll into little balls that resemble caviar firmly attached to the pubes in my bum crack.

      Forget trying to fish those out.

      I hate the fact that it was on sale so I bought lots.

      It was not until I had done a course of worming tablets and started to look at the paper post-wipe that I recognized it was flaking.

      I had been worried about my health. I had started to wonder what was crawling out my bum and laying eggs in my ass hair.

      Farking toilet paper. (Maybe they grow it from these little eggs?)

      Now, I don't scrub the slime from my bum — a simple scrunch and a single wipe downward move and it's wiped. Repeat a few times with a fresh piece of toilet paper and it should be all over, depending on the sliminess of the excrement.

      But not with Cottonelle. No.

      With Cottonelle, you gotta go back when it's all clean and retrieve the leftover bits of paper. Or you gotta do this kind of squat move where you spread your butt cheeks over the toilets and wipe 'til the bit falls into the toilet.

      Let me tell ya, this stuff makes wiping your ass difficult.

      A simple action I learnt as a child has been made much more complicated with this Cottonelle crap wiper.

      Who wants cotton balls attached to their bums?

      Who wants to shower after every shit?

      With this stuff you spend way too much time retrieving shit from your ass.

      I'm over it. Anyone install bidets?

  • Everyday locked down price.

  • Haha thump up for the words

    • thump up

      Thump my hump.

  • +1

    This deal just wiped me away.

  • long running deal

    • Good for people having the runs.

  • Why don't they bother to mention sheets per roll any more?

    It's not the ozbargain value way.

  • Time to stock up for "potential shortages".

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