Equal Field Time for Kids Playing Sports

ElleV on 23/11/2019 - 17:09
Last edited 26/11/2019 - 08:39 by 1 other user

Hi all.

My kid plays sports where there is a match on a weekend and one training day during the week.

A parent approached the coach asking why their child wasn't played much during the game albeit that family came late to the game and has frequently in the past. Their kid misses training a bit and I'm speculating for health reasons. Nothing too serious, he's just not the fittest, skilled or committed kid.

We all pay the same fees. All of the kids rock up to training and games on time with a few exceptions. Some kids are played more than others. (I presume its based on their skill).

I'm OK with my kid sitting out sometimes if I know other kids can score a bit more. Kids are happy when the team wins.

Would you be OK if your kid sits out more/less than others based on their skill and commitment? Even though you all pay the same.

Sports & Outdoors

Comments

  • djkelly69 on 23/11/2019 - 17:15
    +4

    I think the age and/or level is pretty important. Sounds like this might be older kids?

    • ElleV on 23/11/2019 - 17:20

      Its under 16s so they would have to be over 14 and under 16 I think?
      I doubt any of the kids will make a career of it. It's low level/grade sports. It's something for the kids to do.

      • qwerty on 23/11/2019 - 17:49
        +2

        Under 16s become under 18s in 2 years and then the competition factor comes in

      • Seraphin7 on 23/11/2019 - 20:04
        +6

        At U16s it's genuinely starting to be about results. It's not so much to do with the level, but simply by that age kids are genuinely concerned about winning, not just "playing a game".

        Let's be honest, even the lowest level of adult sport (which is only a couple of years away in this example) is still about competition and those with greater skill levels and commitment will be getting a greater run than those who are simply making up numbers.

  • Donaldhump on 23/11/2019 - 17:37
    +13

    Depends on the age maybe less than 10 it should be equal.

    But once they are 10ish and older its natural to play the better players more and to reward those who turn up to training..plus if they get to the game late that puts them behind the eight ball to start with, parents should be more punctual. Anyone who misses training out of habit will always start on the bench.

    The 1/3 rule is good though, every kid gets a full game

  • Oz em on 23/11/2019 - 17:43
    +2

    You can’t get better if you don’t get to play. Generally there are different levels among age groups (a grade b grade ect) so all kids should get equal time.

  • mskeggs on 23/11/2019 - 18:56
    +8

    Under 10 or 12 is all about skill development and learning, and everyone should be t a go.
    Under 16 you want to be fielding a competitive team. The kids are old enough to know if they want to succeed they need to put in the work.

  • o53djz7qTPY4der on 23/11/2019 - 19:06
    +4

    If it is based on commitment, then sure. Those kids who turn up late or not at all should have no expectation of playing the same amount as those that are committed.

  • slow on 23/11/2019 - 21:04
    +13

    i have coached junior soccer since my son was U7 (currently U16)
    Generally up to under 12 everyone gets equal game time and a chance to play all positions. As a coach though you learn to juggle your subs so that you are not too exposed when the good players are off.
    As they get older the kids tend to get graded and put in appropriate teams, and it depends on what level they play.
    On the social level this tends to continue.
    As the grade increase it becomes more about results.
    I coach div 2 out of 6, which is fairly competitive. The kids want to win. Our club policy says that everyone who shows up to 80% of training (we train twice a week) and games gets equal game time over the season (not every week)
    So against a strong team the weaker players might get less time, but if we are winning 3-0, they will get more. I will make sure everyone will get at least half the game each week though if they have showed up.
    Also, some kids are not that fit and need (and want) more breaks than others
    Some miss training regularly and are late for games, and as a result get less time.
    I have had parents telling me that their son is injured so won't come to training for the next few weeks, but will still play the games. I have had to tell them that I cant stop him showing up but he will get very little game time if he doesn't come to training. Similar for kids that stuff around at training
    Generally I have found parent are always pretty good as long as I explain all of this and make all my expectations clear at the start.

    • timthetoolman on 23/11/2019 - 22:34
      +1

      Great response.
      Question though, for under 16s where the parents have to take the kids to and from training, if they are injured do you not think it's fine if they miss it and save the hassle for the parents?
      (so long as they tell you)

      I get when you drive yourself and especially with footy it's expected that you're there even if you can't train.
      But surely a parent would love the idea of not having to go, rather than to sit around and do nothing?

    • ElleV on 23/11/2019 - 23:04

      The logic of playing the top players when the score is close makes sense. Ive noticed that during the games. Now that we're bumped up a grade, those that havent improved on their skill fall way behind and become a bit of a burden on the team. What would you do in that senario?
      A few parents have said we should win this game with 'that kid' not being there.

    • HighAndDry on 24/11/2019 - 00:58
      +3

      I have had parents telling me that their son is injured so won't come to training for the next few weeks, but will still play the games.

      That's a little whack. If the kid is too injured to train, they're not only going to be too injured to play but also unprepared for it too.

      • slow on 24/11/2019 - 19:14
        +3

        I don't expect a kid to come to training if they are injured. Or want them to come (better to rest and recover). Even if they have to miss a few and then recover and play that is fine.

        What I don't like is the expectation that they can keep missing training on an ongoing basis and limping though the games when they are not up to it. It is not fair on the rest of the team.

        Take the time off, recover, then cone back. Or come to training, do some appropriate light recovery work, play a bit

        • timthetoolman on 25/11/2019 - 07:21

          Alright cool, thanks for the reply. Completely agree

  • Cheap Steve on 23/11/2019 - 21:37
    +1

    Equal field time, no scoring and every player gets a participation certificate at the end of every game.

  • vikvance on 23/11/2019 - 22:03
    -1

    We all pay the same fees.

    This is the key thing.

    If you pay for something, then you should the same "service" (in this case, you kid getting to play the sport) as everyone else who pays for the same service.

    • spackbace on 23/11/2019 - 22:26
      +7

      Not if your kid cbf putting in the effort at training, and turning up late to games

    • HighAndDry on 24/11/2019 - 00:59
      +5

      You pay to have a seat at the table. What you get to do at the table still depends on you.

    • slow on 24/11/2019 - 19:17

      That is fine if you play in a social team where that is accepted. Most clubs have graded (ie competitive teams) and social teams where it is just about participation and you choose when your sign up.

      But even on a social team if you not showing up you could not expect it to be equal unless you have come to some arrangement

  • whooah1979 on 24/11/2019 - 00:00
    +3

    he's just not the fittest, skilled

    Why put the weakest link in the game when winning is the name of the game?

    • ElleV on 24/11/2019 - 09:31

      The coach has to play everyone at the game in the name of fairness but alot of the kids get more game time than this one kid which the kids parents arent happy about.

      • slow on 24/11/2019 - 19:18

        Maybe he would he happier playing in a different less competitive team?

  • Euphemistic on 24/11/2019 - 07:09
    +1

    I think it’s fair to start out with equal time, rotating positions etc. when they are 6-7 it’s all about participation and inclusion not winning. As the years progress it becomes more about commitment and skill.

    By the time they are 12-13 if they are mucking up or missing training they start on the bench. They also start to get played in favoured position. It is a life lesson about how to commit to a team and reward for effort. it starts getting competitive in soccer with finals on for the first time at under 12s.

    Having said that it is frustrating seeing a coach who supposedly has an equal time on the pitch policy not sub off his favourite players.

  • askme69 on 24/11/2019 - 10:01
    +1

    No TRAIN, No PLAY.

    That's how it was when i grew up, didn't matter how good you were.

    • whooah1979 on 24/11/2019 - 10:15
      +1

      A team that lose a match because the coach decides to bench a star striker for miss training deserves what is coming to them.

      • Euphemistic on 25/11/2019 - 08:32
        +1

        If the star striker has missed training for a valid reason, then it’s fair enough to play them. But if it’s a regular thing and no valid reason then they need to learn some commitment. Unfortunately this may mean not fielding the strongest team in favour of the players that work the hardest but don’t have all the skill.

        End of the day, winning is good, but it’s not playing for sheep stations in most competitions.

  • OzHunterNSW on 24/11/2019 - 11:57
    +1

    Sounds like the team is full

  • Sensiekatie on 24/11/2019 - 12:15
    +1

    My son played basketball at elite level and my husband coached at club and school level. He also assisted at state training and tryouts too.

    At primary school level, there was this push for equal time from the parents. The kids wanted to win and those with poor skills knew it and were happy to sit on the bench for Longer. They were still part of a winning team.

    My son was of course far more skilled than any of the others in the club and school teams. He was also much taller. He was really good at making sure everyone got a chance to score. He would tell the kid to go near the basket and the team would bring the ball up and pass it to them and they would shoot. If they Missed, my son would scoop the rebound anyway. My husband Spent a lot of time on upskilling the boys too.

    At school after a couple of years, the boys were fighting over who was going to be on the team. The parents settled down too as they could see that efforts were made to make the kids feel good and enjoy the game.

    Incidentally, at representative level (ie above club level) it wAs very competitive from U12 right through. They would play through injuries at state competitions but at national level it kicked up even more. As an RN at the time, it annoyed me when I took my son to the sports Physio and he would ask “When do you need to be on the court again?”.

    Towards the end of our time at that association, they stopped teams and scoring. Nobody enjoyed it. The kids knew who won. There was no sense of belonging to a team either.

    What the sport taught my son was more than basketball skills. He learnt about teamwork, strategic planning, supporting others, motivational skills, a sense of focus and drive and so much more.

    Everyone pays the same fees, but that does not entitle them to equal playing time. Many coaches will keep a good player on the bench too if their behaviour is not up the scratch. In some environments performance at school (grades) comes into account too. Other coaches are just not fair and have favourites.

  • slow on 24/11/2019 - 19:32
    +3

    There can also be a lot of extenuating circumstances wrt attending training and games etc. As a coach I often feel I need to be a psychologist as well.

    Some of the kids come from broken marriages with shared custody, where one parent has no interest in their kid's soccer.

    • A 14 year old who misses a lot of training, but I know he is at home looking after younger siblings because his mother goes out at night, often at short notice. And he always texts me when he isn't coming. I can't exactly hold that against him
    • A new kid who missed quite a lot of training and didn't show up for a few matches without any notice. Lovely kid who loved his soccer. I found out when he stayed with his father, he just couldn't be bothered bringing him most of the time (usually dependent on how hungover he was). I arrange with the mother for me to pick him when he was at his father's. This worked well for a few weeks, until one day the father had a go at me (he had taken offence at the fact that I was compensating for his bad parenting) and pulled him outt of soccer completely.
    • Divorced parents screaming at each other after the match in front of the whole team about who was taking the kid home.
      It goes on
      \

    There is a definite pattern though that the parents most likely to complain are the ones that know the least about the game and have never played any sport themselves

    And some parents always think you are preferencing your own child, even though you are probably going the other way

    • [Deactivated] on 25/11/2019 - 13:21

      Slightly off-topic (apologies Op), do you have B level licence?

      • slow on 26/11/2019 - 08:28
        +1

        No, I'm miles way from that. I'm just a parent coach at a community club. Only got into because there was noone else and they were desperate when my son started at age 7 (at that age it is just like cat herding, and the main goal is to ensure they have fun). I have done a couple of community courses, but most of my learning is from youtube and watching others.

        I also see things from the other side of the fence as my other son plays in another team and my kids play other sports, where I am just a parent. I get to listen to other parents complaining amongst themselves and criticising the coaches. Most have absolutely no idea how much is involve in being a volunteer (ie unpaid) coach, not just running training and games, but also all the preparation and planning that goes into it.

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