R U OK OzBargainers? (2019)

R U OK?

R U OK? Day is an annual day in September (today, 12/9) dedicated to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference and even save lives.

We do this every year and it's good to see R U OK? Day doing events all year round and not just September 12. So have these conversations today, next week, next month and throughout the year.


Hot Tip: Medicare provides for 10 free (or subsidised) sessions with a psychologist after a referral from a GP. It's free/cheap so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Most mental health issues are very much treatable with professional help. Trouble is that most of us are too scared, embarrassed, or lack self awareness to seek professional help. If you have a broken foot, most people will have no hesitation in seeking a doctor because we know it can be fixed but for mental health issues (which can be just as well treated) we quietly carry on even though the pain and harm may be 1000 times worse. (credit: Bluberry)


The comments and PMs we received last year are part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

One of the biggest challenges to OzBargain and other online social media sites (e.g. Instagram, Twitter) is promoting an environment where everyone feels comfortable commenting and discussing issues (or deals). We should all recognise that our comments have consequences both positive and negative. People don't participate on a discussion site to be attacked or bullied. While some people may say 'suck it up' and that people should not be so sensitive, we should be aware that we don't truly know the people behind these accounts. Some are young, some may come to here to escape a tough reality, be mentally unbalanced, or they possibly could have thick skin. We just don't know.

On the flip side, a simple gesture such as thanking someone or sending a friendly PM can go a long way. We made a post about contributing to a more positive OzBargain environment and we've had some great results changing some users behaviour by thinking about the impacts of their words.


Over the years of running this initiative on OzBargain (and offline) we've also received some comments making jokes about RUOK? Day. While those people may be OK, many times they are not both in real life and on OzBargain. Keep asking, be meaningful in the way you have your conversation and don't ask just today but any day.

We have forums where you can discuss relationships or anything else off-topic. Also, if you see any comments where you think the person may be struggling, please report to us and we'll get in touch.

You can also feel free to chat with us in the private Talk with a Moderator forum if you have any OzBargain related issues. Or send me a PM about whatever you want (except moderation issues). Please see our Mental Health Page if you need to speak to someone including live chat.

For confidential advice and support call a crisis support line – such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

:)


What are the signs?

What they might say:
  • Things that sound more confused or irrational
  • Things that indicate a persistent drop in mood
  • Complain they have difficulty switching off
  • They are struggling to see a future
  • They believe they’re a burden on others
  • They feel worthless or alone
  • They feel trapped or unbearable pain
  • Talk about death, suicide and wanting to die
What they might do:
  • Change their mood or experience extreme mood swings
  • Withdraw or avoid friends, family or social situations
  • Change their online behaviour
  • Not enjoy hobbies or interests they once did
  • Have difficulty concentrating
  • Lose interest in maintaining personal hygiene or appearance
  • Behave recklessly, including increasing alcohol or drug use
  • Change their sleep pattern
What's going on in their life:
  • Relationship breakdown
  • Major health issues
  • Work or home stress
  • Financial difficulty
  • Study pressures
  • Loss of someone or something they care about

Related Stores

R U OK? Day
R U OK? Day

Comments

  • +4

    I'm at work and people don't even say Hi, let alone R U OK?

    And R U OK posters are all over the walls…

    • +3

      Ha. I feel like someone asking you "R U OK" on actual R U OK day is like the nth person to leave a "Happy Bday!" message on your FB page. You know they didn't remember it themselves, you know they don't really care, you know it's likely the only time you'll hear from them the whole year.

      • Happy belated Birthday HighAndDry!

  • +5

    Not OK, lost my job second time of the year currently unemployed.

    First one encountered some arrogant uncooperative team member and poor management. Second one company restructure and also poor management

    Not depressed just frustrated and feeling crap

    • +2

      That sucks man, so sorry to hear. Losing a job is one the worst thing to happen to people as it also affects the people around you :(

      But look on the bright side. Having 2 jobs in 1 yr means you have the skills to get a job easily.

      • +2

        This is the worse time I had throughout my career.

        Both instances my boss either left the business or got retrenched.

        Both companies treat me poorly. Boss said sorry to me to let me go, management decision, another got made redundant and eventually I got laid off as well in a matter of 6 months.

        The thing is they get rid of you before the probation period so they don't need to pay extra. In other words they use you up to the fullest, while lying on their termination letter saying you didn't meet expectations of the role, this is from upper management whom knows nothing about me and know what I do

        It's all BS, I know all my colleagues around me thought I was a good worker so as my direct manager.

        I cannot believe companies just doing this to get rid of you before probation ends.

        With a mortgage and 2 young kids, although partner is working I cannot claim anything from Centrelink. Their threshold is too low for any good.

        Almost 20 years paying tax I get nothing from them when I'm unemployed.

        • +5

          I mean it sucks, but that's exactly what probation is. You can also leave at any time during probation. Actually, employees can basically leave any time.

          Income protection insurance? If you have any kind of super plan, see if that's included. Though after the Royal Commission, banks stopped automatically adding that to plans so YMMV. Good luck mate.

          • +1

            @HighAndDry:

            Income protection insurance? If you have any kind of super plan, see if that's included.

            Pretty sure that losing your job doesn't automatically qualify you for income protection insurance provided by any super scheme that I'm aware of.

            Generally it's only for loss of income as a result of being medically unable to work.

            Royal commision changes just mean that you have to opt in. I think that's fair enough as it's a product that end users ultimately pay for, but a large majority of people who do so will never be eligible to access.

            • @Pantagonist:

              Royal commision changes just mean that you have to opt in, which is fair enough as it's a product that you ultimately pay for that a large majority of people who do so will never be eligible to access.

              Except even most of those who need it and are eligible will be too dumb to opt-in, and they'll ultimately lose out.

              Iono, it's just an option you can check. Not like you have anything better to do with your time, and it could be free money.

              • +1

                @HighAndDry: How does someone obtain the foresight that they will be unable to work in the future for medical reasons? Is there a published correlation between dumb people and those without income protection insurance that I'm unaware of?

                Taking out that insurance cover is a gamble, like any insurance cover is. Most people will pay more in insurance fees over their lifetime than they will ever recoup in benefits paid back to them from successful claims.

                For the premiums paid, it doesn't really pass the cost/benefit test for my own situation. I expect if others took a close look at their own situations and premiums paid over a working lifetime they'd also come to similar conclusions.

                • -1

                  @Pantagonist:

                  How does someone obtain the foresight that they will be unable to work in the future for medical reasons?

                  You don't - that's why you buy insurance in case it happens.

                  Is there a published correlation between dumb people and those without income protection insurance that I'm unaware of?

                  No, I'm not saying there's a correlation. Just X% of the population is dumb. X% of people needing insurance are also going to be dumb. This X% who needs insurance isn't going to have it when they need it now. People who need the insurance will suffer from not having it, than people who don't need it will suffer from paying premiums.

                  Most people will pay more in insurance fees over their lifetime than they will ever recoup in benefits paid back to them from successful claims.

                  Yeah, but people not paying those premiums isn't putting that money into a self-income-insurance savings account. So when/if they need it, the fact they didn't spend that money earlier won't help them.

                  I expect if others took a close look at their own situations and premiums paid over a working lifetime they'd also come to similar conclusions.

                  Sure - most people won't or don't, or will and won't do anything about it.

  • +2

    I don't know. I am yet to find a good GP and psychologist for my partner who has severe anxiety and depression. We have tried changing medications and seeing multiple doctors but couldn't establish a good connection with any of them.

    • +8

      It sucks but doctors come and go so fast these days that you shouldn't get attached to one.

      For those that don't believe in medication, or refuse to use it because its embarrassing or you don't wanna acknowledge that you have some mental issues. Please rethink this. I have had rough anxiety for the last 8 years and medication is the only thing getting me through. my wife started getting anxiety symptoms a year ago but i/we didn't wanna acknowledge it due to all the crap i went through. But we finally went to a doctor, he prescribed her the same stuff i am on, and after a month it showed a massive difference. shes been on it for 6 months now and is happy every day! life is good, other than the downsides of low libido (both of us!) but we make it work. (escitalopram / lexapro) in case anyone is wondering.

      Changing the way you think or doing certain exercises does not always fix your mental issues, sometimes it needs the beauty of science/medication.

      • +5

        I don't usually comment on anything on Ozbargain but I felt compelled to reply to your comment and say that I absolutely agree with you.

        I was resistant to medication for a long time but ended up giving it a go in 2015. I spent about 18 months taking fluoxetine (aka Prozac) and I remember by about the 3rd week I actually looked forward to leaving the house and catching up with people. Medication doesn't cure mental illness, but it can assist you to do things that do help your mental health in the long term (i.e. seeing friends, accomplishing things) that you may not have otherwise been able to do without the medication. I eventually stopped taking it as my situation improved and I didn't feel I got a huge benefit from it anymore.

        I started taking antidepressants again at the start of 2018. That time I was prescribed an SNRI, Pristiq, which really did not work for me at all and I got really bad side effects: night sweats, weight gain, low libido. I went all the way up to the maximum dose and still didn't get any of the positive side effects (increased energy, concentration etc) so my GP referred me to a psychiatrist, which was the best thing that has happened for me.

        Coming off the pristiq was a nightmare, and when I tried to change onto a new antidepressant I ended up getting serotonin syndrome which was a bit scary, but finding the right medication combination has really stabilized my mental health. I now take a mood stabiliser (lamotrogine), an antidepressant (buproprion) and a very low dose of an anti-psychotic (seroquel) to help with my sleep.

        I've had people ask me about my medication, horrified that I take so many different drugs, and then suggest "have you tried going to the gym?" Yes, I tried that, I'm not weak for choosing to use medication. Finding the right medication combination, along with more than 35 hours of therapy, has literally saved my life.

        My advice to anyone is, don't dismiss the benefit that medication could give you and don't give up if the first antidepressant doesn't work for you. I think GPs should refer people to psychiatrists more often rather than just jumping people around different antidepressants. If they don't refer you, ask them to. Psychiatrists are the specialists on mental health medications and I think that while GPs mean well, they just really don't have the training to be treating people (with medication) for mental illness.

        • +1

          Good job bro. Honestly majority of the time it does require trying a bunch of different things. years ago when i had my first panic attacks and was at the hospital every night, they gave me xanax which did nothing. zoloft which made me sick, then lexapro.

          lexapro did great for about 6 years, i decided to jump off it because i was confident. about a year later an incident happened and i got an instant panic attack, it set me back so much in progress, i went straight back to lexapro but i got extremely sick 1-2 days in and the doctor decided to give me something else - mirtazapine. this worked amazing fast and managed to get me back to going to work asap. i thank this legendary tablet however it made me eat like crazy and i gained 15kg in 2 months, so got off that shit asap. tried lexapro again and it was fine. been on it for a year since.

          keep in mind anyone reading this, most SSRI's do take up to a month to kick in. you will not just notice it working. it happens slowly and casually but give it a month or 2 then look back at where you are vs where you were and you should hopefully see a decent difference.

          • +1

            @Unrvl: Yeah, definitely the side effects can suck so much and finding the right medication can be really hard.

            I think I found the same thing when I stopped the Prozac. I was fine for about six months and then anything but fine.

            I'm so glad that lexapro started working for you again. I was going go be prescribed mirtazapine but was too concerned about the weight gain. Tho I've lost like 10% of my body weight since stopping pristiq.

            I also want to back what you said about SSRIs (or any antidepressant), they take time to kick in, just got to give them a chance.

      • -2

        What are the symptoms of anxiety?

        This might ruffle some feathers but "anxiety" word has been thrown around too much and people take advantage of it by using it as an excuse whenever they perform badly at something

        • +1

          google it. but when someone says something like 'that ride at the carnival gives me anxiety every time' or similar when used in that temporary context is very different to someone with the many different anxiety/panic disorders that are constant and long term.

    • +5

      seen 3 psychologists, 1st wasnt interested it seemed, and the other 2 were still reading from their uni books it seemed. It seemed so manufactured and fake, it was all pretend. That's not their fault and I realised I'm looking for empathy and understanding. I dont expect them to give a sh!t about me, but I guess it all seemed like what we wanted to do is book another session. Diagrams, redundant anologies, irrelevant examples etc.

      I found what I wanted with a couple of close friends who tell it like it is and funnily enough forums like this. Friends help put perspective and unknown people show you're not alone.

      Though medication does work even though I've stopped now (very hard to get off it). Occasional day of low, but generally pretty good.

      • +2

        I have been through a few psychologists, if you are on the public health care system they are absolutely terrible.

        they are all forced to follow the same standard medicare psychology script, printing out these forms, going through the dot points and finding your anxiety/depression score. 1 was ok after that but didn't tell me anything googling and educating myself could. the other one was absolute garbage, hey you scored x points in depression, you have depression!

        thanks for your computers diagnosis, that's exactly what i was after! There was no personal observation it was like i was talking to a robot.

        • +1

          Have you considered that this attitude is why these sessions aren't productive? It takes time to build rapport. If you're writing them off after the first one, yeah, duh it's not gonna work out.

          • +1

            @HighAndDry: If what you're after is a mental health practitioner who won't try to push pills onto you after ticking a few boxes, I can assure you that they are in short supply in the Australian public system.

            Rapport disappears pretty quickly from their side if you don't want to play by the book.

            • @Pantagonist: If they're in short supply then they're in short supply. Just because someone needs something doesn't mean anyone else is obligated to provide it.

              Prescribing pills might be more cost effective than long therapy sessions. It's the public system. You want above-basic-level treatment, option to pay for it out of pocket always exists.

              • +1

                @HighAndDry: What you'll find is that they're in short supply because of the long campaign waged by drug companies to medicalise mental health issues such as depression and turn it into an unavoidable problem that happens to people (which is easier of individuals to rationalise), rather than something that reflects the mores and expectations of the society they find themselves born into and the abstract mind's response to those stimuli (which is a much more complex problem to solve).

                Basically drugs are the easier, risk averse and depersonalising responses to these issues. Everyone involved gets to feel like they're doing something because they can point to a tangible thing and go "I did all that I could, now on to the next KPI!" rather than dealing with the core of the issue.

                It's a classic case of the tail wagging the dog. Why would anything need change when the current system is self sustaining in its nihilism? Practitioners get paid, patients get to "fix" their issues by changing their brain chemistry to become as dead-eyed and emotionless as the practitioners that treat them, mental health problems continue to rise over time, return to step one, rinse, repeat.

          • +1

            @HighAndDry: You've seen a psychologist before? How many did you go through? How many sessions? Genuinely asking as it seems like you've found someone great.

            People with depression are scared of their own thoughts let alone building rapport with what essentially is a university textbook.

            • +1

              @pandaman: No, dated someone who did. She liked the second one she met. Luck or she was just more flexible I've no idea.

              People with depression are scared of their own thoughts let alone building rapport with what essentially is a university textbook.

              Great. Good luck then.

      • Listen man, it's about how you think about things. Once you get your thought pattern sorted you don't need no medication. Find a good psychologist to talk to and get some CBT happening and stay off the pills they ruin your life .

        Hope you're OK bro.

        • +2

          I'm ok bro. but with respect to your reply, i disagree. It's not always changing the way you think. sometimes you get a chemical imbalance in your brain and actually need medication to fix it.

          If by pills you mean the medication im taking, its quite the opposite. they give me a life! if it's drugs then yeah i wouldn't mess with that.

    • if you're in Adelaide, I can offer some suggestions …

      I've been on that band-wagon, the medication often makes things worse … I personally had some success with a 'recreational prescription' hard to source, but enough to help change my perspective

      • Hey, i am from Adelaide! tell me more about this recreational prescription!

  • +1

    Ordered taro milk tea but got matcha milk tea instead. No, not OK.

    • +2

      That's ridiculous. They're entirely different colours.

      • +7

        lol believe it or not it happened to me before, I guess they just put the wrong order. And the stupid part of me was, I didn't check it after I walk quite far away from the shop.

        Always double check when you buy your milk tea people - very important

        • I ordered a non-dairy version of a pearl milk tea. Repeated the order twice to the cashier to make sure they heard it as I've had it wrong before. Received the order, and it was the dairy version. Took it back to the same and asked to have it changed, they asked me, did you order the dairy free…? ughh Not ok with getting the order wrong. Bubble tea is life :D

  • loll. Have most of the signs. Hope you guys are ok though

  • +5

    Stress creates anxiety and if you don't know how to deal with it can look like the end for you. Fortunately, with the right help and speaking to some professionals I was able to learn about what i went through and how to deal with it moving forward. It was two years ago and you learn as you grow.

    The mind is a powerful thing and you just need to think about the glass being half full not the other way around :)

    I hope everyone is doing OK.

  • +4

    I am not happy with feeling OK, I want to feel fantastic.

    Thanks for everything you do, cocaine.

      • It is not my responsibility to cater to a user who relies on an online website, dedicated to cheap items on sale, as their primary source of human interaction.

        If this was a self-help forum or a similar site where it was encouraged to express your feelings and personal issues for the benefit of aiding and assisting your development and wellbeing than absolutely, have that extra level of, or I would say required, consideration for other users.

        But I am here for cheap items and to chat/banter with people who are also here for cheap items, I will not change how I communicate to others to cater for the users who have ulterior reasons for using this website.

        I will apply the same level of respect and consideration to every user I interact with on this website, but will do so from the aforementioned context of bargain hunting.

  • +14

    I've been a long time watcher of OZB then finally after many years decided to signup for an account.

    I work from home so don't really have many friends which has put me in a really dark place.
    This is the only site I use to communicate with real people. Even if it means just responding to a comment and interacting with you folks, it means a lot.

    Thank you.

    • +3

      Hey there, feel free to start new posts on whatever topic you want to talk about - I think we're pretty relaxed here.

      • +2

        thanks, much appreciated.

      • agree, I once wondered whats the meaning of life and I got a lot of great replies and it made my day.

    • +2

      Glad OzBargain has had a positive affect for you. Feel free to send me a PM anytime.

      • +1

        Thanks Neil.

    • are you part of other communities? like whatever hobbies you may have, there will be an online community for it to call home! or just go down the reddit hole!

      • not really no. Yeah I do browse a bit of reddit here and there, but nothing to call home.

  • Lives matter! Mostly around "what's it going to cost us?"
    Thinking about this report: KPMG – Economic cost of suicide in Australia

    • Kinda dated, 2013. But I'm also curious, how did they come up with that figure? 2,614 suicide cost $1.657Billion

      That's $633894 per suicide.

      • I assume they'd include everything from lost productivity (balance-of-lifetime earnings?) for the person, added to lost productivity of relatives and friends (more stress, lowered morale, personal and sick leave, etc), in addition to all the actual costs incurred (ambulance, health workers, possibly coroner involvement, etc).

        • Yeh, it also includes the loss of tax payments to the government due to victims premature death.

          The Government must be doing it real tough

          • @Homr: If they're counting productivity, also counting reduced tax receipts would be double-counting…

            Which is something I assume KPMG would be intimately familiar with haha.

            • @HighAndDry: So I'm guessing it's the tax payers that will burden most of the $633,894 cost due to most of those costs comes from public services? E.g Police?

              • +1

                @Homr: A lot, but I honestly don't know how big a proportion. 20-30 years of productive life is a LOT of productivity. Say someone makes $60k p.a.; 30 years of that is already $1.8mil, which is going to be a lot even discounted to present-day value.

                • @HighAndDry: Why do they use productive life as part of the measurement? It's not really a "cost"….or is it??

                  • @Homr: "Economic cost" which includes things like this. Fairly standard, this applies for every other "cost of…." numbers too, like cost of global warming, etc.

  • +2

    Hope you are all Ok mates.

  • +1

    Right 1 hour 11 min ago Comment unpublished. (Ghost)

    Holy shit that's savage!

    • I made fantastic points and did not target any particular user if anything it could be read as targeting yourself.

      What a waste of time and effort on my part, well played /u/Right.

      • I think (Ghost) means he was still banned and created an account (/u/Right) to get around it. But in the context, damn.

        • Well there you go, I am still learning all the intricacies of the site. I want my points back though, they were good!

      • Republished your comment, cheers.

        • Thanks mate.

        • Ey! All hail!

          No but seriously, thanks for what you do neil - don't mind the skeptics (including myself), this was a good thing.

  • +1

    A great initiative & really appreciate the team behind our Ozbargain community spending the time to modify their website to promote this.

  • +1

    just want to come and say, I actually prefer the new colour scheme, would really like to see it stay.
    And great for the OzBargain community to support the initiative.

  • +1
    Merged from R U OK? The Sad Truth The Impact of Seeking Help Will Have on Your Future Insurance

    I love the concept of R U OK Day. What a great way to champion mental health and remove the stigma of talking about mental health and seeking help.

    This is all great, but there's a small catch no one ever talks about: what is the real impact of asking for health on your future insurance policies?

    My wife suffers from a bit of anxiety, nothing crippling but enough that I was able to talk her into seeing her GP and see if she can improve her quality of life. Sure enough some temporary meds were prescribed that really helped, with some for the back pocket if needed again in the future. All is well.

    Fast forward a few years, we now have a child and putting a lot more thought into future security. We start to think about life insurance cover and make a few inquiries. Sure enough inquiries lead to applications and application lead to releasing your medical history.

    MLC was the insurer here and what came back was unexpected - sweeping exclusion clauses for anything, and I mean absolutely anything that could be related back to any form of mental illness or even stress, all because she had seeked help about a mental health issue from her GP. These exclusion terms were so broad and ill defined that if she were to get into a car accident and they could reason she had a stressful day then they could decline a claim. Sure that might not be what they would actually do, but they word these exclusions so broadly that it's hard to believe they aren't creating options for themselves if they need to meet targets.

    And sadly it's not just MLC, turns out this is standard practice. And no i'm not making this a bigger issue than it is - here's a report from the ABC: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-24/medical-records-hande…

    I'm not raining on RU OK Day. In fact I love that we're champion such a good cause and trying to remove this stigma of looking for help. But I think we should also raise awareness that the system currently punishes anyone who does look for help, and that needs to change. I for one hate that I now think twice about seeing doctor or seeking any sort help because of the impact that may have from insurance practices.

    • -6

      But I think we should also raise awareness that the system currently punishes anyone who does look for help, and that needs to change.

      No it doesn't. Insurance is based on risk. Risk doesn't care about feelings - if you have higher risk factors, your premiums should be higher. That's not punishment, that's the proper way of assessing your risk and calculating premiums.

      Just as buying a more expensive car also leads to higher car insurance premiums. They're not punishing people for buying more expensive cars.

      We start to think about life insurance cover

      Especially with regard to life insurance. You don't think factoring in mental illness in the context of life insurance is reasonable? That doesn't quite gel with all the public information campaigns about how mental illness correlates to self-harm or just negative health outcomes.

      I for one hate that I now think twice about seeing doctor or seeking any sort help because of the impact that may have from insurance practices.

      I mean, not that it's any consolation but if you know you suffer from mental health issues but don't disclose them, they can still reject insurance claims.

      • +3

        Maybe what you're saying is exactly right, that if you look for help then you should absolutely expect to be treated as a high risk to insurance companies and that is the way it should work.

        People should at least be aware of this if they are thinking about asking for help.

      • +1

        I'd prefer to make insurance companies prove to court that a person committed suicide or similar, instead of a scenario such as dying to a terrorist bombing and company says "oh, it looks like your wife had suicidal thoughts because we found her posting on Ozbargain asking for help with depression. Those thoughts could have put her in danger. We'll refund your premium for the past 50 years. LOL."

        • That's already the case - you do that by taking the insurer to the ombudsman or to court. Then you can prove whatever you want to the court.

          And it's all fake outrage anyway, your hypothesis would never happen anyway.

          • @HighAndDry: Yes, I have so much money that I can take big companies to court and win. Are you that naive?

            • @orangetrain: That's why I mentioned the ombudsman first. That's free. You can also self-represent in Court. An insurance dispute is fairly straight-forward. Get some legal aid advice, go represent yourself.

              I don't know what you want - for insurance companies to never be able to reject claims? That'd be a great way for everyone to have to pay higher premiums.

      • Negging me won't change reality. Higher risk = higher premiums or no insurance cover.

        Insurance isn't a way to get free money. No one is entitled to insurance. That's not a right.

        • Straight up, I wasn't negging above.

          No one with mental health issues are in it for the "free money", if you want free money start up a fake childcare centre and rob the government of other peoples money.

          Insurance (and other industries) further pushing to scoop up as much data in granular amounts about the person insured as ways to avoid paying out claims or making insurance an unviable option for those who want to try and safe guard against being out of work or other situations that not only impact them but their families may come under "higher risk" but its shitty business ethics.
          Its data that will also be on sold or follow you around for life, the more this practice is accepted the longer it will go on.

          Plenty of these companies will push days like today and spout about how they care etc and put posters on walls in offices and make people come in wearing yellow, but when you really look at how they operate they are out to either screw people out of payouts on technicalities or decline offering insurance policies as they know it will impact their profits.

          Much the same way insurance companies want people to download their apps or plug in OBDII boxes that will take telemetry from vehicles which can then impact policy amounts or insurance cover depending on what data they get back, it sneaks in to peoples lives and its a way to avoid paying out.

          It's something that could impact anyone at anytime (mental health issues), like other major medical events and putting additional stigma around it will in no way change how people view those with mental health issues or help the situation these people are left in.

          • @91rs:

            or making insurance an unviable option

            No one is entitled to have insurance as an option. Companies can perfectly validly refuse to offer insurance cover.

    • +1

      The system even punishes those who have served their time!

  • +1

    I have anxiety issues and I have an interview in a few days. What should I do?

    • Meditate. Take your meds. Hug someone?

    • +1

      Your best. Sounds like it's your first interview. You'll gain a lot of experience over time. It helps to give a list of questions to someone and attempt to answer them.

      Don't worry about failing the interview. There'll be more.

    • I think visualise what special skills ( more importantly self promotion) that will make you stand out to your interviewer in a positive manner than the other candidates.

    • propanolol can help, also good that it has lol in the name … beta blocker, basically just keeps your heart beat regular to help chill you out … failing that, focus on the people, be friendly, the work stuff they get from your resume

  • +1

    No Im not, leave me alone

  • Life sucks.

    • Oh hi, I have time for story. Want to share ?

      • Thanks, I'm too tired to type.

  • Well I had my long-time Super fund (CBUS) deny (after waiting nearly 4 weeks) my claim to increase my life insurance, TPD insurance and Income Protection insurance due to my history of mental illness, even though it's under control.

    All I want to do is make sure my (disabled) partner is taken care of if anything happens to me.

    Anyone know of any other super funds that might be worth considering?

    Unfortunately I can't afford to purchase it separately, so going through my Super fund was ideal.

    • +2

      No fund or insurer will.

      Insurers don’t cover pre-existing conditions which is what a lot of people don’t realise. If they did the premiums would blow out.

      Most insurers will want 5 years symptom and treatment free unless there’s a history of self harm.

      McMoots - Not to nit pick, but they denied your application for an increase, not an increase claim. Ask them if you can take the exclusion instead of a decline. But if they’ve straight out declined you, then they’d be more to your scenario then you standard mental health etc.

      The way they assess is that generally if there’s 3 things they exclude, they’ll decline cover as you’re then excluding too much. With mental health the other issue is if you try to harm yourself and then become permanently disabled, they’re then looking at multiple claims. So they exclude as a result of this.

      You could look at a retail trauma product or life cover, as you’ll only get an exclusion.

      • +1

        No fund or insurer will.

        This is not entirely correct.

        Super Funds will often provide cover up to defined limits, without exclusions or individual health questions, as long as the person is actively working, and obtains cover as soon as they join the fund.

        • +1

          @vikance - True but McMoots mentioned applying through another fund and default cover probably would be too low for his needs, but I guess something is better than nothing.

      • Thank you all for your information and input.

        As one of you mentioned I do have some cover automatically provided by them, but it's only about 20% of what I need.

        I guess what is even more frustrating / disappointing is that no one from CBUS has bothered to reach out and discuss my options.. Or is that expecting too much?

        Combine the above with the "assistance" I've received from my local Public Mental Health Service and it just becomes so exhausting :(

        • @McMoots - Sadly it’s too hard as they have a large number of members.

          You can phone the insurer and speak to them to get some
          Clarity. This is the downside of Super Funds as there’s no adviser to guide you or do the leg work for you.

    • +1

      You could have a look at AustralianSuper.

  • any bargains?

  • +2

    Where I targeted to live had to have a great secondary school with a history of top yr 12 results . So get that and one of my kids starts at yr 7 around 18 mths ago . During the early part of that yr I receive a email from the school that some incident has happened to a student a school . A yr 11 girl has committed suicide . I know its to late for the school to tackle whatever issues this girl had but whether perceived or not by me the biggest concern for the school was to keep the noise of this incident quite to keep its clean reputation intact . The students were basically encouraged to watch 13 reason why season 1 with their parents . It was a wake up call that this shit happens and I applaud people , organizations tackling this difficult topic . Lastly I don't know who the parents of the girl are but I couldn't utter any words how they would feel . It was social media bullying .

  • +1

    The content of this thread is a lot different from last years. It seems people are doing worse on the whole.

    I wonder whats the most reliable metric for measuring how people are doing across society.. whether things are getting worse, or if its just a popular opinion..

  • +3

    Doesn't everyone want to die from time to time

  • +1

    I'm not OK. Struggling with finding a job after being made redundant 2 months ago. Really feeling pretty useless and feel like I'm letting my wife down. All in all I'm finding it harder to keep on getting up every day.

    Anyway that's how I'm going, not that anyone probably gives a rat's. Hope you are all doing OK.

    • +1

      I'm not really sure what to say but I have been in a similar situation. Things will get better as long as you keep at it. Does your wife know how you feel? If she doesn't it might be a good idea to talk to her about it to put your mind at ease.

    • +2

      hey morphio, the job market can be harsh, stick with it, keep on applying, I've had a couple of stints with months between gigs … if you need a break, stop for a bit, regroup, re-apply …

      play with your resume, watch a few youtube video's on interview skills, look into different types of jobs that are kind of aligned to what you were doing, branch out and see what else there is … start a hobby, make new friends, anything to keep you busy, the job thing is just a waiting game …

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