Advice Wanted - Recently Single, Living in an Apartment for The First Time & Living Alone for The First Time

Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 19:13
Last edited 16/06/2019 - 23:29

Hi everyone, just after any advice people might have. I'm 27 this year and I've recently separated from my partner of over 5 years and find myself moving into an apartment for the first time and living by myself for the first time!

Does anyone have advice around the dos and don'ts of apartment living? Don't want to annoy strata or other tenants. Anything I should maybe think about that isn't obvious?

And how about living alone? Anything worth thinking about to keep myself sane and secure?

Thanks in advance :)

EDIT: I should have noted I am renting! And own a cat! And I'm a male!

EDIT2: Thank you everyone! I have been reading all of these, but with moving I've not had a chance to reply to very many. Will look to do that soon. Some of you have been very kind and given me some different perspectives, which are always a huge help to me to better sort out my own thoughts!

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Comments

  • chumlee on 14/06/2019 - 19:25
    +60

    Fart anytime you want now.

    Geez I miss those days

    • Donaldhump on 14/06/2019 - 19:47
      +56

      Never stopped me

      • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:44
        +56

        Never stopped me either… Maybe this explains a lot.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 01:31
          +5

          If you aren't comfortable with each other's farts, it wasn't sustainable. Everybody farts, it isn't healthy to hold it in.

          • RSmith on 18/06/2019 - 06:18
            +1

            @Scrooge McDuck: Now he can fart to his heart's content.

            • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2019 - 23:48
              +1

              @RSmith:

              Now he can fart to his heart's arse content.

    • kaleidoscope on 15/06/2019 - 16:06
      +1

      seriously …..

      • Hirolol on 15/06/2019 - 18:56
        +9

        I bet you shit with the door closed as well

        • kaleidoscope on 15/06/2019 - 21:50

          why the neg 😝. i don’t think u got what i meant…

    • crazyj on 17/06/2019 - 13:40
      +4

      ms-paint diagram required please.

  • Donaldhump on 14/06/2019 - 19:49
    +60

    Enjoy the time alone, learn to live alone and not emotionally dependent on anyone…. then you will be prepared for your next relationship

    Shower free weekends
    Do the dishes when you want
    Stuff is always where you left it too

    • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:45
      +12

      Working out how to be emotionally independent is absolutely up there on my list!

      Funnily enough, stuff being where I left it and doing the dishes when I want are two things I'm really excited for.

      • Donaldhump on 14/06/2019 - 22:30
        +25

        Just put the dishes in the fridge if guest come over, plus the roaches won’t get to them

        • orangetrain on 15/06/2019 - 09:05

          Are you one of my friends?

        • Antikythera on 17/06/2019 - 01:35
          +3

          microwave is a great place to put bread, cakes or pastries so the rats and mice wont get them. because bread goes stale quicker if you put it in the fridge.

          • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2019 - 23:55

            @Antikythera: Cockroaches will get in microwave though. My friend had 1 die inside where display part is, so body was just sitting there in display for about 2 years until it turned to dust.

      • aboogee on 17/06/2019 - 20:04
        +2

        ditto… the freedom of being single can only be appreciated when you move away from a relationship.
        eat/spend/do/go/clean whatever/whenever you like.
        but its a balance though. would you be missing someone nagging you but still end up cleaning the place.
        my wife is my first girlfriend (so never got to be single again) and whilst she keeps nagging me (still do) for being untidy, i enjoyed (and still enjoying) her companion, and her sharing my stress and worries. now we're married with 2 kids.
        but yeah - occasionally still miss those days when dirty laundries and dishes were done fortnightly and home cleaning quarterly, but i do shower everyday haha!

    • matt3 on 15/06/2019 - 13:50
      +4

      "Stuff is always where you left it"
      sobs … Unclesnake, stop teasing me!

      • abuch47 on 15/06/2019 - 23:46

        Long term relater here, first two had no issues with.

        but yeah OCD object fairy is a nightmare, out of sight out of mind.

    • coffeeinmyveins on 16/06/2019 - 10:48
      +6

      shower free weekends

      dude. Come on now. Personal hygeine is not a relationship only thing.

  • serpserpserp on 14/06/2019 - 19:55
    +15

    OP: Living alone in your 20s is actually a lot of fun! Enjoy!

    As for Do's and Don'ts, just don't be noisy, messy or park in common driveway areas and everyone is golden with you. Simple!

    • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:45

      Okay, sounds like it's as straightforward as I hoped :) Thanks!

    • dcep on 15/06/2019 - 14:27
      +2

      Living alone in your 20s is actually a lot of fun! Enjoy!

      What about living alone in your 30s 40s 50s 60s ?

      • serpserpserp on 15/06/2019 - 16:00
        +1

        Dunno, never done it. YMMV

      • peterpeterpumpkin on 15/06/2019 - 17:34
        +9

        What about 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s, 110s?

        Asking for a friend.

        • macrocephalic on 16/06/2019 - 16:42
          +2

          What is the optimal time to bump off your spouse?

          • Antikythera on 17/06/2019 - 01:37
            +4

            @macrocephalic: after probate on their parents will clears or their lotto numbers come in.

          • RSmith on 17/06/2019 - 04:59
            +1

            @macrocephalic:

            What is the optimal time to bump off your spouse?

            After she stops making sandwiches.

            • lainey13 on 17/06/2019 - 18:56
              +1

              @RSmith: After he becomes allergic to bin bags and rubbish bins.

    • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 02:08

      As for Do's and Don'ts, just don't be noisy, messy or park in common driveway areas and everyone is golden with you. Simple!

      Great, but how do you get the other residents to do that?

  • mgh4me on 14/06/2019 - 19:59
    -2

    Paper plates and plastic cutlery to minimise washing up. Poach eggs in microwave, 2mins make sure you cover with water first. Sheet change once per month. Get a good steam station iron will cut your ironing time by 75% (unless you like ironing or Mum still does it). Get a stuffed teddy so you have something to cuddle when you go to sleep. You will never loose an argument when home alone and you will always be entitled to your own opinion when talking to the mirror. Enjoy your single life.

    • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:46
      +6

      I have a stuff wailord plush already in use! And a cat :)

      • Punda on 16/06/2019 - 22:43

        Microwave eggs at your own peril!

        • Carmen Sandiego on 19/06/2019 - 10:14

          It's actually quite easy. Colleagues do it all the time now that we now how not to ruin the microwave.

          Main point is salt and submerge the eggs entirely in water (this is for boiled eggs)

          Making omelettes in a microwave isn't too bad

      • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 02:09

        Pics of Wailord and cat plz.

      • oneland on 19/06/2019 - 14:03

        WOOOO
        WAILORD!

    • thrillhouse on 15/06/2019 - 07:34
      +68

      I’m certain this is satirical, but please don’t encourage the use of disposable plates and cutlery.

      • orangetrain on 15/06/2019 - 09:07

        No it's fine. OP will have to make many garbage trips. Been there done that. I ended up preferring to put it all on one plate and washing it or cooking all food together. Stir fry protein is ez

        • freemoneyhunter on 15/06/2019 - 17:35
          +36

          Yes and flushing turds is also a waste so to help save the environment do turds on the plastic plates and put them in the garbage.

          • syousef on 16/06/2019 - 09:00
            +1

            @freemoneyhunter: Ugh groupthink. He makes a point that needs to be made. Your footprint isn't zero because you're not using paper or plastic plates. You need to actually think about the tradeoffs rather than just go with the crowd. For example:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IBH0pcKzlY

            • Bargainbeth on 17/06/2019 - 22:46

              @syousef: I don't think anyone thinks not using plastic straws makes their carbon footprint zero, it merely lessens it. Enlightening video though, and the girl makes points about it being useful for disabled people that I haven't heard before. I think that's her strongest point, however.

              I don't go around debating nor shaming others about plastic straws but I just made a conscious decision to not use them anymore, because each one I use would go to landfill, which still harms the planet in the long run, even if some poor turtle isn't choking on a straw when someone tries to recycle them or throws them into the ocean.

              • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 02:14

                @Bargainbeth: What has the environment ever done for us anyway?

                • Bargainbeth on 18/06/2019 - 12:11

                  @Scrooge McDuck: A place to chuck my gum wrapper when I can't find a nearby bin? Kidding. Well, provide all of our raw materials for building etc and land for livestock, plenty more.

                • syousef on 19/06/2019 - 08:14

                  @Scrooge McDuck: I think perhaps one of these days you'll reply to something I said without using a straw man.

                  Please point to where I said the environment wasn't important.

                  Perhaps I should counter with "What did disabled people ever do for you?". That'd be about as fair.

              • syousef on 19/06/2019 - 08:13

                @Bargainbeth: Did you miss the point about how big a contributor plastic straws are to the environment? A tiny fraction of a percent vs nearly half of the plastic in the ocean being from fishing nets? I haven't fact checked her figures but if they're correct plastic straws simply aren't significant. Trying to help the environment by getting rid of plastic straws is akin to trying to help someone who has been beheaded with a bandaid.

                You really need to look at what the use of water and detergent does vs what the equivalent plastics do. I think overall it's fairly obvious you'd see that replacing every washed plate with a disposable plastic one would be very, very negative. However does that mean that in every circumstance the plastic plate will lose out. I don't think that's necessarily the case. For example do you want to use soap and detergent in a national park where there is no plumbing? People have also been known to reuse and wash plastic plates (something you can't really do with paper). So paper disposable isn't always better than plastic.

                The point is to actually think about what you're doing rather than parroting some sound bite and vilifying/shaming everyone that doesn't agree. That actually requires thought, consideration and at least secondary research, as well as considering the motivations, credentials and methods of the experts you rely on to come to your conclusion. Way too much trouble for most people. What's worse is that most people won't even give what they're saying cursory thought.

                • Bargainbeth on 19/06/2019 - 08:37

                  @syousef: I agree that there's a problem of group think but also of the other side, to label everything as group think and not be open to debate either. Dissing something isn't really providing a valid opinion so I'm glad you at least followed up after that lol.

                  However, the planet consists of more than ocean. Humans tend to live (gasp) on land. For someone dissing someone's opinion as "group think", your reasoning wasn't that strong either.

                  See this for extra education on the topic:
                  https://www.cleanup.org.au/straws-no-more
                  7.5% of reported plastics from clean up day were plastic straws.

                  https://phys.org â€ș news â€ș 2018-0…
                  Science Says: Amount of straws, plastic pollution is huge - Phys.org
                  Straws make up 4% of trash by piece, obviously less by mass.

                  Also, percentages are relative, please try to imagine 0.025% of the size of France as plastic straws in that patch in the ocean.

                  I'm not saying your video doesn't have a point. It has a point, not the only one.

                  I don't wash up where there's no plumbing, but your points about BBQ site wash ups are valid. And I'll research the rest of your comment on the detergents part, don't really know enough about that subject.

                  • syousef on 19/06/2019 - 10:13
                    -1

                    @Bargainbeth: When you research detergents don't forget to look at microplastics. Doing better by the environment is engineering. Engineering is all about trade offs and they're not all obvious. I'm certainly not saying we can't reduce our plastic consumption. It's just going to require more than thoughtless bans and shaming people who don't immediately agree.

            • freemoneyhunter on 18/06/2019 - 19:43
              -1

              @syousef: No it was not group think, I know he has used the argument I have heard many times before which has always tended to be cheeky. Actually I don't buy into the carbon footprint theory, I believe extra co2 is a great benefit to the environment. Unfortunately things like plastic fills up landfill and the processes to create them damages the environment. Best if people thought in terms of minimising waste and reduced consumerism and living below your means. Water is a resource that is continually replenished, problem is there are too many people using it.

              • syousef on 19/06/2019 - 08:11

                @freemoneyhunter: Most people do not actually do a cost-benefit analysis on what the impact of the change they are making is. They simply echo whatever they've been told. That is in fact group think.

                • freemoneyhunter on 21/06/2019 - 16:58

                  @syousef: Yes they do indeed, many of them also apply the wrong methodology which hinders them further.

    • idonotknowwhy on 15/06/2019 - 14:12
      +3

      Plastic police must not appreciate the humor…

    • dcep on 15/06/2019 - 14:29
      +2

      Poach eggs in microwave, 2mins make sure you cover with water first.

      need more details

      eggs exploded in microwave

      • serpserpserp on 15/06/2019 - 16:02
        +12

        need more details

        He means cover microwave with water.

      • mgh4me on 15/06/2019 - 21:26

        I assume your joking right. Desert bowl 3/4 full water, crack eggs into water and follow the instructions above. I think my MW is 1200w. If you overcook they will pop a quick wipe out with a wipe and all good or cover plate with paper towel if your concerned.

      • Punda on 16/06/2019 - 22:45

        They can also explode in your mouth. I use a pie maker, best thing ever.

    • syousef on 16/06/2019 - 09:06
      +7

      Eating over the kitchen sink with your bear hands like an animal is free.

      • syousef on 16/06/2019 - 21:11

        Haha serves me right for posting first thing in the morning "bear hands" instead of "bare hands". Lol.

      • Zedsdeadbabyzedsdead on 17/06/2019 - 02:14

        Don't bares have paws?

        • try2bhelpful on 17/06/2019 - 02:21

          Bear claws are pastries.

        • syousef on 17/06/2019 - 12:23

          Don't ask me. I've barely learnt English, clearly ;-)

    • [Deactivated] on 19/06/2019 - 17:37

      Better yet, poach eggs in mi goreng noodles

  • Quantumcat on 14/06/2019 - 20:02
    +3

    For the loneliness issue get a cat ^..^—!
    Also take the opportunity to learn a musical instrument as there's no one in the house to annoy

    • [Deactivated] on 14/06/2019 - 21:32
      +6

      This is the worst advice ever for someone who is , I'm assuming, renting an apartment.

      OP, avoid getting a pet if you're renting- it tends to complicate things. But above all DO NOT start learning how to play a musical instrument - it'll serious PO your neighbours.

      If you're lonely, befriend a human and ask them if you can pet them.

      • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:42
        +2

        Uh oh! I already own a cat! Why do you warn against it? I don't see why I couldn't also find a human to pat.

        • [Deactivated] on 14/06/2019 - 22:13
          +5

          Not many rentals are pet-friendly and landlords tend to not want tenants with pets as they may cause more damage ( pee on carpets, scratch floorboards..etc)

          We recently had to adopt a rabbit after his previous owner decided that he was too hard to toilet-train and that they didn't have as much time as they thought they would to spend with him. They were going to "set him free"🙄 Not everyone is suited for pet-ownership. A pet is not a stuffed toy.

          If you already have a cat, it's fine as I would assume that he/she is already house-trained and you already know how to care for him .But more importantly that you love him.

          • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 22:21
            +7

            @[Deactivated]: Ah yep! Having the little guy certainly limits options. But I've always found if I'm patient something decent comes up. Definitely house trained and loved! Had a great rental history too. Appreciate that concern though!

            And you're right, not everyone is cut out to own a pet. "Let him free". Ridiculous. That just sounds like justifying killing an animal.

          • try2bhelpful on 17/06/2019 - 02:18
            +1

            @[Deactivated]: We had a house trained rabbit, to a cat tray, which the cats weren’t well pleased with. The main problem with a house trained rabbit is they eat everything, window surrounds, electric blanket cords, furniture. They have to keep wearing down their teeth. I got a shock, from the electric blanket, so I can only assume the rabbit was a thrill seeker.

            • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 02:41
              +1

              @try2bhelpful: I'm not a wabbit expert but I think one needs to supervise them when they're let out of their enclosure. Cords need to be kept out of their reach. I used a milk bottle with a hole in the side to clip over an ethernet cable, route it upwards and shield it from Hoppy. If one cut around the lid to widen the neck, the same could be used for power cords too.

              I'd recommend a friendly natured shelter cat over a bunny though. They're a lot less work, easier to feed, less fragile and more affectionate.

              • try2bhelpful on 18/06/2019 - 07:19

                @Scrooge McDuck: Our rabbit didn’t have an enclosure, it lived in the house. The cat used to wash its face and ears. I agree with the cat reference, cats are a lot smarter and easier to house train.

                • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 07:56

                  @try2bhelpful:

                  The cat used to wash its face and ears.

                  Aaaawwww! ^_^

                  How did bunny feel about that?

                  • try2bhelpful on 19/06/2019 - 15:00

                    @Scrooge McDuck: Generally it was fine with it but every now and again it would arc up. The rabbit would look like he had a Mohawk as the hair would stand up.

            • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2019 - 20:34

              @try2bhelpful: We've heard so many horror stories from other rabbit owners but ours must be the exception to the rule. He's the sweetest, cleanest little thing. He was fully toilet-trained within a week of moving in with us,has never chewed on any electrical cords and comes out from his little box house to greet us when he hears our voices.

              The only hiccup we've had since becoming a rabbit pet owner, is that my toddler once told everyone at kinder that when "Easter bunnies poo, maltesers come out." All of his friends want a rabbit now and their parents are not pleased with us…

        • [Deactivated] on 15/06/2019 - 10:22

          Are you musically-inclined, OP?

      • Mattmattmatt on 15/06/2019 - 10:02
        +3

        Just get an electric musical instrument so you can play with headphones! Guitar, bass, drums, keyboard/piano, violin etc

    • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:41

      I actually already own a cat! Got 1/2 of our 2 cats in the split :P The comment below won't be happy with me!

      • Scrooge McDuck on 18/06/2019 - 02:43
        +3

        Got 1/2 of our 2 cats in the split :P

        Thank dog you had an even number!

  • bobbified on 14/06/2019 - 20:13

    If money isn't a big issue, spend some time and money doing up the place the way you like it!

    It's quite fun. Get some beers and get some mates over too!

    You now answer to no-one!

    • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:46

      Renting unfortunately! Beers and friends is on the agenda though. Making sure noise is kept at reasonable levels :)

      • bobbified on 14/06/2019 - 21:59
        +4

        Renting unfortunately!

        You can still do the furniture and settings. I did it for years before. New place, new settings.

        Enjoy the single life for a bit - keep in mind that the grass always appears greener on the other side - so ignore your mates with gfs!! haha

  • Eeples on 14/06/2019 - 20:14
    +7

    Netflix, Stan, Amazon Prime, Kayo.

  • Ughhh on 14/06/2019 - 20:19
    +2

    Is it really that scary???

    • [Deactivated] on 14/06/2019 - 21:21
      +4

      YES! Being alone after you've been in a long-term relationship is scary as hell. I have no advice.

      Does anyone have advice around the dos and don'ts of apartment living?

      Be a nice, considerate human being and you'll be fine :)

      • Lockdude on 14/06/2019 - 21:47
        +1

        I'm not scared at this point. But definitely concerned. Just don't know what it will feel like!

        Regardless, I will be striving to be a decent human in all aspects of life, apartment living included. Thank you :)

        • [Deactivated] on 14/06/2019 - 23:02

          My situation was a little different. She was fire …and when she left , my world was dark and cold :(

          Perhaps, it's not scary when the relationship dies a natural death and you're ready to move on, which sounds like you are. Best of luck with everything :)

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