[Advice Needed] How to Encourage Kids to Study! (Grade 6)

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  gregsurname on 03/02/2019 - 23:59

  • Unless your child is very, very behind at school Grade 6 is too young to be doing a lot of homework, or any private tuition. Start with ~30 mins of homework a night on weekdays in Year 7. If your child is very behind at school then the work that you should be helping them on at home is not Grade 6 work, but work from Grades 3 and 4.
  • Attending a private school is not going to make your child study more.
  • If you want to change your child's behaviour then try positive reinforcement, as others here have recommended.
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  GoatLord64 on 04/02/2019 - 08:00

  +1

  Me personally I hated studying the bullshit at school. I saw it as worthless. Because of this and a bit of smarts I was able to coast into year 12 by just getting passes but nothing better than I had to. So my years were enjoyable through school coming home and spending hours playing sports and video games. But I knew I had to try in year 12. So I stopped and sacrificed a year, got a good ATAR and now I'm just about to go into the course I'm really interested in at a uni 10 mins away.

  I think you need to see if your kid actually enjoys studying because I found it worthless, repetitive and boring. IMO year 12 is the only year that really matters (here anyway) and you just need find the right path to get your child there. I got terrible results all the way up to year 12 but I knew they couldn't kick me out or anything if I got a pass for everything.
  Find out what your kid wants to do and then plan how to get him there.

  Also the school system is so outdated and mundane these days and is set up poorly. Like 99% of kids probably don't want to read the books given in English and wont use most of the skills learnt in other main subjects. A lot of kids just cant relate to how it will help them later in life and for me the only classes that made me feel like i actually learnt something usable later was the software development class and the networking class. Most of everything else is just bullshit I'll forget after a few years anyway.
  Edit: Grammar

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    belongsinforums on 04/02/2019 - 20:07

    -1

    You can read and write because of school

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      GoatLord64 on 05/02/2019 - 09:27

      nobody likes a smart arse

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        belongsinforums on 05/02/2019 - 18:09

        -1

        What's wrong sweetie?

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  Caped Baldy on 04/02/2019 - 08:37

  Monkey see, monkey do. What are you doing to encourage your child to foster the desire to learn? Are you glued to a screen or read books?

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  mattie on 04/02/2019 - 10:09

  +1

  I'm in same boat, got year 6 boy this year. What we do is 1 hour study allows him 1 hour computer games but that's the way it has always been , may be too late for you.
  Re study material I only get real books
  Like Excel selective school tests, online stuff you'll need to stand behind them.
  I must say I'm a bit disappointed in the comments re selective schools are no good because that's been my plan for years, once he gets in I was just going to let whatever happens happens, like no more pressure from me ever , was hoping peer pressure would get him through.
  My kid is very smart I wouldn't recommend forcing a not so smart kid into selective type schools by doing private accademmy coaching

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    belongsinforums on 04/02/2019 - 20:08

    Never too late

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  AlanJ on 04/02/2019 - 10:16

  +4

  You must forgive me for not having read all the comments above, so what I say now may not be anything new…. but I understand your feelings very well, and as I am both a parent (of five children, two of whom gained entry into accelerated programmes) and a teacher, I would really like to contribute something worthwhile for you. Just for openers, the examination for the Selective Schools entry comes up in about six weeks, so I do feel that it's a little late in the day to start pushing towards entry right now. Many of the children who are contesting for entry have been receiving private tuition since they were in Year 2, some since kindergarten! He will be competing against children who know all the tricks… and, believe me, success in the exam is a question of knowing all the tricks: of relating just about every question in the test to a hundred virtually-identical ones to which you have been taught the method, of knowing how to look at the four multiple choices and reading the clues in the answers… there are lots of ways to maximise your score, and the fact that many of these have little to do with "intelligence" but more with practice (and money spent, and pressure loaded onto the shoulders of tiny kids) is the reason that right now the school system is looking at ways to change the entry criteria, since clearly these schools are not doing what they were designed to do, and the easily-manipulated entry procedure is largely to blame.

  To stand any chance of successfully competing against these "experienced" entrants, your son would need to be really highly motivated, and you can see that this isn't the case, right at this moment. In fact, putting too much pressure on him to perform at this point in his life is a very effective de-motivator, as he may start to feel (as many of the selective school contestants do) that he has the honour of the family heaped onto his shoulders, and that he is ill-equipped to carry that burden. All of this is likely to add up to a "failure" (a rejection letter from the S.S. entrance people, and a set of marks he doesn't feel like showing anyone), and if you want him to learn to love study (and he may well do this in the next seven years), then a heavy knock-back, and in writing, is not the best strategy to achieve that aim. Selective Schools don't have a monopoly on successful kids; nor do they necessarily attract the best teachers (if all your kids are brighter than you are and are being pushed relentlessly from home anyway, why should you need to do any more than just set the assignments and grade them?)

  You say you are not in an area for great public secondary schools. That's tough, but I have taught in some of these "undesirable" schools, and I can tell you that we always had our quota of high-scorers and kids who made the school proud (one of my students in the "worst" of these schools subsequently became my dentist! I can tell you, when you're sitting helpless in a chair and he's standing over you with a drill in his hand, you start to think back to what you might have said to him when YOU had all the power!). A school which doesn't get a mention in the top 100 is by no means a death sentence, nor will it kill off any motivation your son has; it may well do the opposite. Anyway, you can always approach a suitable private school — some of the Catholic Education schools are not overly expensive, and even the grammar schools are empowered to accept students at reduced rates if they see some quality there which they can foster (and a good family of which the child is a valued member and in which education is respected is definitely a "plus"; so is any special talent in Art, Music, sport, etc). Give it a try; what do you have to lose… it's YOU and THE WHOLE FAMILY that is making the pitch, so the rejections you will undoubtedly receive, at least for a while, won't impact on your son, unless YOU make a big issue of it and make him think it's a rejection of him alone!

  Don't forget to include your son in the decision-making process; going to a school YOU don't like because HE gets a chance to be with his friends isn't really such a bad reason when you're eleven years old, and if you "go along" with that, you can be comforted that you're not locking in your choice for six years: kids do change schools during their secondary years (my daughter changed twice… her third choice took her out of the Selective system altogether, and she was, by far, the better for it; in fact, it was the making of her!). The important thing is to make him feel that his wishes are of importance, and that he isn't a failure just because he can't "go along" with your ambitions for him. If he winds up in a secondary school that HE likes, regardless of what you think of it, he is more likely to become what you would like him to be: an eager scholar who values education, and will continue to value it for the rest of his life. Putting him in a school where he is "over his head" (as I did, to my regret, with the child I mentioned a few lines above) will likely make him an even more-reluctant scholar, and then everyone is the loser.

  If you do go ahead with private tuition, make sure you choose someone who will value him for what he is, and impart to him a genuine love of education. That is NOT the same as a genuine love of high marks, although the first often leads to the second (the second, however, doesn't necessarily lead to the first, and that's a tragedy; I see so many kids who get the top scores and hate every minute of their seven-day-a-week learning). Meanwhile, if you think that the area you live in is not conducive to his chances of educational success, you might think of looking around for one which is more "education-friendly". No hurry… he is not even in Year 7 yet, and there are loads of students who never seem to have any interest in education until Year 10 or 11, when, suddenly, the future becomes more real to them. In four years, you might be able to move to an area where you have all the best schools in Sydney within walking distance… or you might discover that you really don't need to do that, anyway, because your present problem has disappeared of its own accord. Good luck!

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    AlanHB on 04/02/2019 - 12:04

    Great post :)

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    htc on 04/02/2019 - 21:54

    +1

    Its all about what the students do, what role the parents play. Plenty of students I know from selective do not do well. Parents think once their kid is in the selective school, they relax. By the time they reach year 10, they can be behind the top students or even an average student in a comprehensive high school. You need to monitor your kid no matter what school they go to. I like the dentist example. I think it is what the student do with their life is more important. Plenty of examples where student graduate from selective school, go to uni, but struggle with life later on, like finding a job, finding a partner or many other things that are not part of the mainstream curriculum. High school is only part of the journey.

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    Unified on 30/04/2019 - 12:46

    Great insight from a teacher, really appreciate the post.

    I am looking for some tutoring place so a good student can prepare well for the Selective test in 2020. There are several mushroom like coaching centres but hardly find any good review as to where to go. Everyone claims their method is best in the market but hard to find if there is a comparison. As there are a lot of money and time to spend to figure out what is good and what is not effective. Its been a continuous challenge to get a good place for additional help.

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  RolandWaites on 04/02/2019 - 12:25

  Threaten him with a beatin'. Get into your books, boy, or I'll give you a whoop 'round.

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  Tightpocket on 04/02/2019 - 16:44

  Greatness don't always comes from the school, it certainly helps but its not the only path to financial freedom…you can ask Dwayne Johnson, Le Bron James and Ellen about maths or any other studies..I guaranteed you that they won't know much of it, but are they successful? they have more money than these top uni students can ever dreamed of…your job as a parent is to guide him and not force him to study.

  What if studied hard, top grades and everything but at the end of the day he can't even get a proper job..who do you think he'll blame first? it'll be you. I thought you promised me financial freedom when I do all these things.

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  sAmiZZle on 04/02/2019 - 18:41

  Try to show him the practical value of what he is learning in relation to what he wants to be or do. If you can't do that then he is just studying for the sake of studying. You have to feed his hunger to learn something. Make him WANT to do it. Unfortunately, when kids are young they rarely get why they are studying. Also, consider that he is extremely young, so it will be a tough ask to expect him to know what he wants to be doing in another 6 years from now. Expecting someone to throw their spare time into studying that hard at that age is extremely unreasonable imo, unless it is something they are naturally inclined to do. Let the kid be what he wants to be and just nurture and guide him in a positive, supportive manner.

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  jbar21 on 04/02/2019 - 19:00

  Try to know your son why his motivation in studying is not enough? Is he addicted to games? Or other stuffs? Try to teach him how to manage his time like there is a time for studying, sleeping, eating, playing etc. When he learned that time is really Gold then maybe his motivation will change a bit. Just an advice, this may or may not work but you know it worked for me. Just dont be so strict. Always tell him the reason why you want him to do that kind of stuff.

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  MessyG on 04/02/2019 - 19:30

  Have you tried talking to a favourite teacher and asking them for some strategies and expectations around what he should be doing? I'd rely on their expertise, they would know what was developmentally appropriate.

  There's loads of great learning videos on Youtube that you guys could watch together in lieu of homework too. Maybe just say 'watch this one with me mate and then you can go play Fortnite' (or whatever they're into now).

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  greatlamp on 04/02/2019 - 20:27

  Remove distraction.
  Get rid of the PC. Get rid of the iPad.
  Yes that means you can't use it either, lead by example.

  Get them into the routine that they study 2-3 hours per night, then they can watch TV or play console games.
  It is very distracting to have someone study and play games on the same PC, hence no PC games, no facebook etc etc.

  Willpower is limited, it is much more effective to create an environment that promotes good study habits.

  Another option is to bring them to the library to study

  Read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
  Smart kids are NOT successful, at least not more successful than average.

  The most successful adults came from families that promoted the value of education, paid for tutoring, and took an interest in their child's learning. There are stong associations between successful adults and the parents who are wealthly (can afford tutors), parents who run their own business (child learns hard work attitudes), and children of immigrants (again hard work attitude)

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  htc on 04/02/2019 - 21:46

  At least you are starting to get him to study in year 6, not at the end of year 11, you still have 5 more years to go to convince him to study. Need to remove distractions, put his computer in the living room, he can not access computer in his bedroom. Start with rules in the house, no phone after 6pm. Check his homework on a daily basis. Students like him requires constant monitoring, hopefully eventually he will give up his habit and do what you say. But it does take time, weeks, or months or even years. But if you give up now, what is his chance of changing? Good luck.

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  CharityCase on 05/02/2019 - 01:33

  +1

  Give it kid to Asian parents

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  RefusdClassification on 05/02/2019 - 08:09

  Curiosity is the best motivation. Children should want to learn. When children resent being forced to learn, the system is failing. Most teens have no trouble learning road rules because they genuine want to be able to drive. There is no learning disability, just a lack of motivation. Very few children want to know about algebra, the structure of DNA, Shakespeare's plays, Russian history, speaking Indonesian, etc.

  That said, education is overrated nowdays. To succeed in Australia all that is required is belonging to the right minority groups. The governmnet will give you a well remunerated paper shuffling "job for life". Forget STEM, LGBT education is far more important.

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  Dovrick on 05/02/2019 - 10:36

  +2

  @OP

  Not sure how interested you would be in my story but here is my 0.02.

  When I was in Highschool I had an immune disorder, the explosive knock-on effect from when as a kid I had been given over two hundred courses of anti-biotics for minor ear/nose/throat infections. By the time I hit grade 8 if any child of the 2000 children who went to my P12 College was sick I would pick it up and it would take twice as long to recover from it. By 10th grade my doctors and the hospital I was constantly visiting wrote a letter to my principle to remove me from school as it was becoming too risky, a particularly nasty bug had damaged my organs and put me out for over a month. In late primary, I would do anything but homework however as my life started to slip out of my control I began to freak out. I managed to hold on to a passing grade, even got a few A's in my classes all while being at school less than 24 days in the year.

  First Day of Grade 11 I went to school and my head of year saw my condition and drove me home. They pulled my enrollment and I was told I would never graduate through school instead I would have to recover and do catch up classes that would take up to five more years and put me years and years behind my best friends.

  IT took me four years to fully recover, I had tried to do remote learning with the school of Distance Education but their curriculum was years behind what I was expected to lean at the college and I could not summon the motivation.

  These days if you spoke to me you would never be able to tell, my immune system recovered after marrow transplants and some nasty tablets but I came out of it with a new respect for the education system and a lot of perspective on why it is important to self-motivate and to study.

  Grade 6 is a great time to make a few impressions with your kid that can go a long way. Take them into the city and show them as many people working their jobs as you can, ask and answer questions about what your child wants when they grow up. Ask where they see themselves, what kind of person do they want to be. The world is a competitive place, and being able to self-motivate is one of those skills that will have immense worth but it requires perspective. Scaring your kid won't work, complaining certainly won't work but if they can see physically the road ahead and all of the pitfalls they will work it out.

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  happirt on 05/02/2019 - 11:13

  I'm just imagining where I would be in my career, if results were not important…..

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  bunk on 05/02/2019 - 13:36

  Hey OP,

  Too much choices for kids now day, in consuming media (internet, youtube etc)

  If you just left it to your child, he will just pretty much youtube all day. You need control!

  All I can suggest, is try to apply a "set study routine" which works for the both of you. Make sure you check his work and reward him for completing his agreed tasks. A reward can be something that he really wants.

  Regards, BK

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  computer barn find on 09/02/2019 - 08:35

  Isn't using a tutor for exam preparation against the whole point of an exam which is to determine how well you understand the subject material.
  You sound like one of those Chinese parents who want their child to have a good career so they can fund their retirement, it would be cheaper just to save the money yourself because the child should not be burdened with helping out their parents. Practice questions for grade 6 is pointless because all you are doing it trying to memorize exam questions, it doesn't require any true intelligence.
  The best way to encourage good study habits is by setting a good example, its no good trying to force your kid to try an memorize questions while you sit and watch tv like a fat slug.

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  Ronerrlaw on 19/02/2019 - 22:32

  It's all about balance, and not enforcing study but teaching them good habits.

  When they come home from school set a time for them to do homework, eat,chores and relax. Teaches the child about time management and refines their habits.

  This is what I learnt from my parents.

  Another thing was my parents would take me to museums or science centre to open my mind to how things work.

  With this day and age showing your child how to code or build things with a Raspberry Pi might make them want to learn and touches back on the love to learn.

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  Unified on 30/04/2019 - 12:57

  Great post and lots of good tips. Sorry to ask here as I need some help urgently, apologies if my has been asked before and happy to be pointed at that post.

  I am currently looking for a tutoring place where few students can attend, learn and practice for Selective Tests in 2020. Unfortunately there is not a lot of real feedback from parents/students on any tutoring centre and any specific location. Its frustrating after asking so many parents that either they have no clue what their kids doing or knows partially. The only good thing I found where the student itself is focused and took studies seriously so the parents can comment on that.

  From one of the above comments, I approached an asian parents and the response was half-baked which showed not willing to give a real feedback. I suppose its a cultural thing not to share knowledge. There are few place I have short listed:

  Pre-Uni New College (Several Location)
  CS Education (Several Location)
  Northshore Tutoring (Several Location)

  Please advise which one to approach and at what location?

  Many many thanks in advance.

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