Here comes an age old question/debate… as the title suggests, how much did or would you spend on an engagement ring? Whether it be an amount you thought was appropriate and reasonable, or whether you copped some pressure from the Mrs etc.
Looking forward to hear some opinions or experiences :-)
I am giving you +1 vote without even opening it as I am 100% sure it's the Adam ruins everything video. It has been a life saviour in brainwashing me missus. We spent the money elsewhere.
These videos are very cringe but usually factually accurate
The intentional tackiness and cringe-worthiness coupled with facts is what makes them work.
That 1930`s moment is faantaastic (spoken with American accent).
Just Afterpay it and take the missus to McDonalds and propose over a happy meal. Nuggets work too.
Pretty sure nuggets are for the honeymoon?
They will ruin you.
$2 shop doesn't have Afterpay do they?
grown in a state of the art laboratory from the natural mineral base zirconium oxide
Oh, cubic zirconias. Correction, expensive cubic zirconias
For a tiny fraction of the price of a diamond, in classic designs and set in your choice of gold. Snobby, much?
~$50 to restore a family heirloom. Good deal :)
I gave my wife my great-grandmother's ring.
I think it is beautiful and she loved it.
I bought her a Vera Wang eternity ring for our 20th anniversary. Got it for under $1,000 at Cashies.
then you gave her the wang, am I right, am I right?
After the first year of marriage you get hardly any - so after 20 years….
Tree-fiddy.
Made me laugh way harder than it should have.
depends on what the lady likes.
i bought the diamond on its own, designed the ring to suit my wife and had a jeweller make it. designed both wedding band and engagement rings at the same time
your girlfriend will say yes to your proposal regardless of the ring. if she is the type that refuses to marry based on the ring, then you would be questioning whether she is the one for you.
Yeah definitely agreed on the last bit there. I guess I made this thread because I was generally curious. My time hasn't quite come yet!
Although… the Mrs has hinted in the past at what her "ideal" ring would be. My budget is around $10-12k max so yeah it won't cause me to have rice and soy sauce for a month or two (fortunately).
I mean I can understand a woman's POV - yes the ring itself should symbolise what's important but in terms of it being "materialistic" that's usually in the eye of the beholder. Kinda like how a bloke would shun you if you were to judge him for wanting to own an expensive car vs. a Camry when they both do the same thing.
Jesus! 10k! It's just a ring mate. Save the money for a nicer honeymoon or something.
Mine was 3k - 4k. Custom hand made.
Same for the dress. My wife shopped around and spent less than 2k. I have a mate who's wife spent 11k on the dress. They aren't even together any more.
You can waste so much money on this stuff, and have nothing to show for it later.
It's just a ring mate
To you perhaps, everyone has different interests and likes though.
I guarantee you I could find an aspect of your life that others may think you probably have spent too much money on.
@Lorindor: You can get many great rings for under 5k. If you spend say 4k on a ring and she rejects you for that then 110% she aint the one.
There is a difference between this and hobbies, if that is what you are referring to.
You can get many great rings for under 5k.
I don't think that has much to do with the point I was trying to make.
If you spend say 4k on a ring and she rejects you for that then 110% she aint the one.
Thanks for your insight, but I was referring to the fact that some people just like jewellry, so spending the extra on say an engagement ring is worth it.
@bmerigan: Exactly! The ring is a gift - it's like if someone was asking for gift ideas, and people chimed in with "Well you shouldn't have to get them a gift!" …. missing the point entirely.
@Lorindor: My wife wouldn't. She would care about me and consider the impact on our future of spending that amount of money on an ornament.
I wouldn't be marrying a 'spender' anyway. No way I'm marrying into any credit card debt.
My wife wouldn't.
Who said we were talking about your wife?
I'm not quite sure why some are finding it hard to comprehend that some people just like nice jewellry, and it has nothing to do with a hobby or materialistic.
@Lorindor: who said we're talking about yours?
I'm offering 1 perspective on this topic, which is why it's here.
It's not in the eye of the beholder. Spending $11k on a ring IS materialistic.
The question is whether being materialistic is wrong. I'm not, but if it makes you happy then I don't see why it should be a problem (within reason of course).
I don't think $11k on a ring is materialistic to some Ozbargainers here. Some of their comments I hear about them throwing money away like it's nothing makes me think $11k is only like a month's pay.
Personally, $11k is half the wedding cost / honeymoon already. Really not worth it.
@Blitzfx: I'm getting married at the end of this year and our budget is 15k! My ring cost approximately 700 dollars and when I found out I felt so guilty. But that's growing up poor!
@Liuissa: It is just a case of successful marketing. The engagement ring I got was 800. A ring someone wears for 6 months and then not again in many cases. Money was better spent furnishing home.
I wouldn't spend $1k… A ring is meaningless. Most marriages end, and a ring is just a show of ownership.
If you must buy a ring, consider discussing it with your partner. Look at manufactured diamonds or pre-owned diamonds (or rings). They have a much smaller environmental footprint and cause significantly less suffering.
The diamond industry (and the wedding industry) is highly manufactured, don't buy into it like a chump. You should be able to have an adult conversation with your partner about it.
I've been with my partner for 12 years, ring and wedding (and subsequent debt) totally unnecessary. But hey, we like to spend our money on experiences and life.
With that attitude, no wonder most marriages end. I think most is only 33% and it's not pot luck ;)
I spent 3 months salary on mine and I don't regret it one bit. It's forever and she wears it every day of her life. (Hint, get married early like me if you're going to follow the 3 month rule haha.)
@supersabroso: I agree with ya, at least follow that as a guide of some sort. 2-3 months. It's about the sacrifise moreso rather than being materialistic and saying it's a meaningless item, when infact it can hold so much value to someone or a couple or even a family. Who's to say a ring isn't an experience the girl holds her whole life, where she looks at it daily and it makes her smile and she remembers that moment you proposed and all the memorable times you have had together or a wedding day filled with love and joy how isn't that an experience. @thedriver you're only looking at cheaper experiences as worthy rather than anything that would be expensive… and that's just a reflection on who you are as a person, has nothing to do with being a chump if you spend money on an industry.
I spent about $8000 - bought the diamond separately then had someone set it on a ring.
Depends on the woman I intend to marry and how much liquid cash I have at the time.
I do know that it definitely will not be 3 months' salary or whatever that stupid rule is. If a girl actually tries to demand that, she'll get the boot.
If the ring was it, then I wouldn't actually mind. But shortly after the ring, there'll be wedding expenses. The costs for that are pretty crazy now and depending on the girl's income, the guy might end up having to fork out the majority chunk of it too.
And then putting down a deposit to buy a home together.
I don't earn a little, but it makes me dizzy just thinking about all those expenses. I can only hope that the one I fall for has similar earning capacity so the load can be shared.
Mmm, maybe it's a culture thing, but the girl (or her parents/family) are supposed to fork out for the majority of the wedding expenses. And the girl is supposed to get the guy a wedding present too, which in my experience has been some very expensive items, like a Piguet.
I think that's how a functional relationship should work - you should get things for the other person not really because they demand it or because of expectation, but because you want to and these occasions are an opportunity to. The guy definitely wasn't expecting that watch, I can tell you that.
Mmm, maybe it's a culture thing
Yeh, I get that you're saying. We're from the same cultural background. It's more that I'll need to factor in the costs in the event that the girl's side can't afford it. For myself, I don't need expensive presents. I honestly don't know how to appreciate the expensive items enough.
you should get things for the other person not really because they demand it or because of expectation, but because you want to and these occasions are an opportunity to.
This I definitely agree with. Those that don't ask and don't expect it get good presents from me. Those that expect or demand it get nothing! I'm an assholev looks that! lol
It's more that I'll need to factor in the costs in the event that the girl's side can't afford it.
Ah. If it came down to it (and again, expectations aside because I know some families demand a giant wedding), I'd rather get my girl a really nice ring (or other present, or honeymoon), than spend too much of a smaller budget on a wedding. I guess if the girl wanted a really nice wedding then that doesn't work as well. That's probably purely a subjective opinion though.
@HighAndDry:
Maybe they should actually figure out what they want, instead of spending a large amount of money on a ring and a watch because that is what the societal norm is.
So many people following these traditions and putting themselves in difficult financial situations which leads to a less happy marriage and life.
@potm: Have considered they're not getting the ring and the watch just because of societal norms?
Also - the 3 months rule is a good guide, because if you can't save up that much for a ring, you're probably not ready, financially or self-discipline-wise, to get married.
@HighAndDry:
Three months for a ring, for a marriage that generally won't last 10 years!?!?
You've been suckered in by an industry that is only self interested in sales. There is no after sales service in diamonds, rings or weddings.
Three months for a ring, for a marriage that generally won't last 10 years!?!?
If that's your mindset, I don't understand why you'd get married at all.
Plus, divorce rates are inflated by the people who get married and divorced half a dozen times. It's also falling actually, after all the old unhappy married couples took advantage of the legal changes making divorce easier to finally cut the knot have all done so.
you do realise you get wedding gifts at a wedding right, and for the most part it's monetary gifts.. therefore you get back a fair portion of the wedding expenses so you're not that 'out of pocket'
@boostpak:
You're right, but the size of those wedding gifts depend on who's invited.
The average cost per person for the venue and food itself is around $200-250 now. My asian mates give quite a bit, but for others, it depends hugely on whether they know the customs or whether they really have that sort of money to spare (can't really blame them though!). For me, I wouldn't consider the money side of things with the invitations. I'd only invite people who's company I'd enjoy at the function. Any presents would just be a bonus.
Years ago, asian weddings made money at the end of it all. The last few weddings I've been to more recently have made losses. There's a few reasons why and the above oft just one of them.
Also - the 3 months rule is a good guide, because if you can't save up that much for a >ring, you're probably not ready, financially or self-discipline-wise, to get married.
I think you've got it wrong. If you can't save up 3 months of salary (say, over a year or two), then you're probably not ready, financially or "self-discipline-wise", to be an adult. If you then waste that 3 months' salary on a ring, you're probably not responsible enough to get married.
The three month "rule" is not a rule at all - if you look at actual consumer spend relative to average wages, the average actual spend on a ring is significantly less than that. In the end, the three month "rule" proves two things: 1) the jewelry industry is adept at marketing and 2) consumers are gullible.
@bobbified: lol it's not a business where you even really look at whether it makes a profit or loss haha it's a wedding mate, it's a big celebration once in your life (for most), not a bloody business. I'm saying the gifts definitely help in that sense of it all rather than saying don't spend 50k on a wedding as it's down the drain.
The thought of 3 months of work grind, all that commuting, all that work accomplished, the stress, the tiredness, going through all that for a single ring? Can't fathom it, it feels like such a waste saying 3 months of my life was spent on just one thing, no matter what I'm earning.
I assume you spent time doing other things too in that 3 months. That, I'm finding, is the key to a good balanced life. Work should only be part of your life - sure it's a big part, time-wise, but you shouldn't be doing nothing but work.
@HighAndDry: Of course, but doing other things generally means spending my money to do those things. Am I expected to save everything I don't spend on bills and necessities for those 3 months, or only save what I don't end up spending in those 3 months? Because that'll make a big difference to what ring you'll end up getting.
@enceladus94: I… what?
You're not living off tap water and plain bread for 3 months. It's "3 Month's worth of pay", it doesn't mean you have to save it up in only 3 months.
@enceladus94: No one's forcing you to. Some people here make it seem like they've got a gun to their head demanding a ransom. It's just a guideline people, chill.
@HighAndDry: Yea I get that, it's just always seems like a pretty common and expected guide to follow. But I always thought was setting aside savings for for 3 months and not 3 months raw pay worth. For me after expenses 3 months of raw pay is like 6 months of actual work hours. So it just makes the guideline seem even more outlandish than I thought before.
@enceladus94: If you're looking to get married, you should be saving up for everything far longer than 3 months in advance. So no, not just 3 months' worth of savings.
@HighAndDry: I can understand for things like a house, cars, the wedding, honeymoon etc. Saving several months in advanced for one ring just seems super superficial and materialistic to me. I should just get gay married and give him a $100 tungsten ring.
@enceladus94: Hahahaha, it is absolutely materialistic, but you can't separate materialism from emotion from sentiment from happiness that easily. People value what they value, and sometimes they value shiny rocks - and it makes them happy.
At the end of the day, it's all down to "how much marginal happiness does this create"? I've spent probably a lot more than a few grand on things (just from here) which don't actually make me much happier ultimately. It's not as if you can't find the extra savings from refraining from OzBargain for a year to make up the difference.
@HighAndDry: A guideline made up by the likes of De Beers, who also tricked gullible people into thinking that diamonds are actually worth something and that every marriage needs one.
@smartazz104: That's basically an ad hom fallacy. I like the guideline because I think it's a good guideline. I don't really care who came up with it, I'm able to judge it for myself.
@enceladus94:
If you're gay, gay marriage is probably a better idea for you. If you're not, just find a woman you're into who shares similar ideas about where your (combined) money should go. Not all women are that into jewellery. If you do happen to end up with a woman who's that into jewellery, I guess you'll just need to decide what seems worth it to make her happy (with the engagement ring).
@enceladus94: what's to say buying a car, having a wedding and holiday honeymoon isn't materialistic to someone else? it's all subjective mate. the question asked was how much did you or would you spend on an engagement ring, not indulging in the technicalities of why you shouldn't spend a guideline amount because of a, b and c. No one cares. Focus on the question and answer.
@boostpak: Depending on the car it's not materialistic, say if you're buying a family car, can't keep your two door coupe with kids. Weddings are pretty materialistic you're right. A holiday is probably the last thing I'd think of when it comes to being materialistic. You're putting money into going somewhere and getting nothing back but memories and an experience, there's no material.
@Beanvee: why do people fit out their houses with nice appliances, nice benchtops, nice splashbacks, nice flooring and carpets, nice bedrooms, nice plants in the yard? why not just leave it all blank and have some bare essentials from kmart? because the stuff i mentioned could be materialistic? going by your logic, we can buy nothing in life except what you determine is materialistic or not. it's all subjective buddy. you need to learn that.
I spent around 10K.
I loved it. so did Mrs.
Username checks out
What does username checks out mean?
love is hell
Google it
I thought he just really liked the new robot snail from Apple
Does it leave a trail of slimy goo around the house?
I can do that myself, tyvm.
good stuff mate that's pretty standard in todays market/society
$0. Didn't even have a wedding other than spend some dosh on some bull$hit photos and being paraded around like an idiot during a banquet kinda thing.
Having said that, an ex-workmate of mine sold his mint Integra Type R, dropped $15k at Tiffany's and the poor bastard got divorced - no ring, DC2R or the $15k at the end.
Buying anything at Tiffany's is a ripoff. Basically buying the blue box, not what is in it. And I have friends who work there who've told me the same thing.
Don't forget the bragging rights amongst her friends for the one whole day! lol
Tifany is dodgy. They do their own certification AFTER the diamond is set…
Ugh, idiot. RIP DC2R. Those are appreciating now too.
way too much. the worst part is even after you make her realise that these whole tradition of rings hasn't been a thing for that long and was all a marketing gimmick from the diamond companies, she still wants one. same way you can buy a fake diamond for much cheaper and it looks identical but they still know its not real so they don't want it.
I mean - that's like explaining to her that the "Gucci" or "VL" tag on her bag also isn't worth 4-5 figures. Or that the red soles on a pair of louboutins aren't worth the sticker price, etc.
"VL" tag on her bag
How dare you buy me a Vuitton Louis bag. Needs to be a little more convincing if it's gonna be fake!
…fk…. I have class I swear! I know these rich people things! I'm not like these other plebs on OzB!
"VL" tag on her bag
was it canary yellow?
its whatever people are prepared to pay for it. ie after factoring in cost of what it takes to make an item, that's basically what it comes down to. If people are prepared to pay 30k for a bag, then it will be priced at 30k. Why is an old house that's a dump sold at auction for 1.6million… because that's what people are prepared to pay for it. people on here are clueless
Cubic zirconium is a great option. Looks incredibly close to diamond and cheap as chips!
Moissanite is usually the preferred alternative but hard to find them in physical stores in Australia. They are almost as hard as a diamond and are more brilliant and a fraction of the cost.
We got better value for money getting it custom made, same with the wedding ring. It's pretty much half the price/ double the value and it's a little more unique than the units the pump out at Wallace bishop.
where do you get yours custom made?
Where are you located?
I had mine custom made at Aust Diamond Company, Bourke St, Melbourne.
Went in with my drawings / rendering, and sizing. They gave me a quote. Month later collected it.
Also got a big discount for their anniversary and won a hamper so was super happy.
If your fiance NEEDS a ring get her a cheap one its supposed to be you she wants not bling, isn't it?
Been so long, hard to remember, but all three rings together were definitely under $1k. I've lost mine, wife still has hers. It wasn't ever that big a deal (didn't propose with a ring, picked one up later that she liked).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU