I'm Burned out. Can Anyone Vouch for a Good Career Coach?

cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 11:40
Last edited 14/11/2017 - 11:58 by 1 other user

Hello all,

I am now at the point where I realise my now-20 odd year career in the law has been one extended false start. While technically quite good at the job, my heart has never really been in it, and if anything I see the future as getting indelibly worse (ever more layers of compliance and regulation to wade through, automation getting rid of the routine stuff and self-help tribunal style litigation getting rid of much of the grunt work that has kept lawyers in a job all these years).

Lets cut to the guts of it: has anyone ever been to a career coach? Can they vouch for one? I am in Brisbane but can travel.

Education & Work

Comments

  • dcep on 14/11/2017 - 11:51
    +11

    No. Don't bother with career coach. Waste of money.

    You need to find your life goal / meaning of your life. Not just career.

  • airzone on 14/11/2017 - 12:03
    +2

    A lawyer friend of my uncle also runs a coffee shop next door to his legal practice. The non-lawyer contact with the locals would help to keep things interesting.

    Although TBH, I'm convinced it's a tax dodge.

  • altomic on 14/11/2017 - 12:08
    +4

    I was in private practice (para-legal, not a lawyer) for 4 years and that was enough.

    moved to a government Legal department.

    rather than working in a income driven business (I understand that a business has to make money) now I can actually assist people.

    chalk and cheese.

    maybe a change in how you practice law?

    • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 12:20
      +1

      That would work, I think. However so many people have followed that particular escape route, I'm not sure how many positions there are left.

      Actually helping people would be fantastic, instead of just focusing on billable units, and complying with a thousand-and-one cover-your-arse directives.

      • moar bargains on 14/11/2017 - 12:39

        There's often a bit of turn over in Government departments, so don't feel like you've missed out. A lot of people do it for a while and then get sick of it and move on elsewhere again, so there's often positions around.

        You may have to be willing to accept a pay cut though, but you are coming from a position of strength with current employment.

        • altomic on 14/11/2017 - 13:37

          ^^this. there is always turn over.

        • Qkumber on 15/11/2017 - 13:36

          Government looks very favourably at applicants with private experience as they bring new ideas.

  • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 12:09

    are you married?

    quite possible your wife will tell you what you're doing wrong.

    if not go to the local pub have a few beers, grab a local bar fly there and ask for some direction.

    • Diji1 on 14/11/2017 - 12:13
      +2

      Do you often get career advice from random drunk people?

      • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 12:17
        +3

        they say people who drink beer live longer, are happier and have more friends.

        so why not?

    • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 12:22

      Yes. Children, even.

      She does tell me a number of things that I'm doing wrong, although that is not always especially helpful.

      • dcep on 14/11/2017 - 12:26
        +5

        you mean like spent too much on Ozb deals ?

        • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 12:36
          +3

          Actually, not really.

          I walk aimlessly through shops wondering what could possibly possess people to buy so many countless variants of superfluous crap. Usually when I am with children and am trying to kill time.

          I bought a camera off gumtree the other day for $150, on account of a baby being born. I think that has been my only significant purchase for some time.

        • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 13:07
          +3

          @cannedhams: consume or die trying good citizen

        • WatchNerd on 14/11/2017 - 13:19
          +2

          @myusername:

          The more crap you own, the more it owns you.

        • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 13:23

          @WatchNerd: werd ;-)

        • WatchNerd on 14/11/2017 - 13:35

          @myusername:

          So many great minimalist quotes from Fight Club.

        • [Deactivated] on 14/11/2017 - 13:55
          +1

          @WatchNerd:
          "You're such a tourist" is my favourite. Guilty.

  • Love a bargain on 14/11/2017 - 12:33
    +2

    It's too "costly" to throw 20-odd years of experience down the drain.

    Try to change within the legal field if you can.

    But the best is to:
    - develope interests outside of work
    - stop looking at work as a career/ something that defines you but a job/pay-cheques.

    • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 12:42
      +1

      I know exactly what you are thinking, and yes my mother who busted her arse to keep me in the game through those years in university would probably kill me.

      But honestly, man, I find myself envying the dudes collecting trolleys in the car park. Or the people working at my kid's childcare. Playing with legos and blowing bubbles all day sounds like heaven to me right now.

      • dcep on 14/11/2017 - 12:52
        +2

        You can't have these thoughts especially when you've a wife and making babies.

      • Freitag on 14/11/2017 - 13:07

        My brother had the same though about child care, he didn't count on changing lots of nappies resolving arguments, etc…

      • Love a bargain on 14/11/2017 - 13:30

        I don't particularly like what I'm doing either & get more of a buzz fixing the computers at work than doing my actual job.

        However, it's too hard to give up the money (& I'm too old to start again - can't imagine calling some 20 y/o my peers).

        So I've decided to care less.

        • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 13:40
          +1

          Man, I can identify with that. I rebuilt the servers at work a couple of times. Windows server is pretty basic as long as you have access to google. Was happier spending all night at the office rebuilding the server than I was at work.

        • Love a bargain on 14/11/2017 - 13:48

          @cannedhams:

          Just remember, you're not alone.

        • moar bargains on 14/11/2017 - 15:36

          @cannedhams: Take this and run with it! Learn stuff that interests you at home (/in work time if you can), do online courses, see if you can move sideways in your job and take on more of the IT stuff. Look for other opportunities to work on the IT stuff that interests you!

        • cannedhams on 15/11/2017 - 20:15

          @Love a bargain: thanks :)

      • airzone on 15/11/2017 - 00:53

        But honestly, man, I find myself envying the dudes collecting trolleys in the car park

        https://youtu.be/TJh5wdvdfVE?t=37

  • Succulent Synth on 14/11/2017 - 13:07
    +2

    90% of yoga teachers I have met used to be lawyers.

    • dcep on 14/11/2017 - 13:46

      male or female

  • [Deactivated] on 14/11/2017 - 13:18

    Can you reduce your hours at work. Maybe work 3 days a week, spend more time with the family and work on some hobbies.

    Source : did just that

  • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 13:35

    from Brisbane?

    I'm curious as to what suburb you live in?

    maybe go to woodridge, beenleigh, logan, inala, browns stains or another effluent suburb.

    wander around the local shopping centre there take note of the locals.

    as you're driving back to your own neck of the woods i bet you start getting some positive ideas.

    • dcep on 14/11/2017 - 13:48
      +1

      brown stains

      so we're giving nicknames to suburb now

      logan bogans

      • myusername on 14/11/2017 - 13:50

        damn it i'm so accustomed to calling it that now it has become habit

      • [Deactivated] on 14/11/2017 - 13:57
        +1

        I'm thinking of moving to brown stains

        • Kangal on 14/11/2017 - 15:31

          How about cockRoachedale?
          Or 8 Mile stains?

        • Qkumber on 15/11/2017 - 13:42

          User name checks out

  • [Deactivated] on 14/11/2017 - 13:39
    +3

    Quantum mechanics will help you find your place in the universe. Watch a Richard Feynman highlight reel on Youtube, then wrap your brain around the Shor algorithm. Some of the smartest people in the world partied when they factorised 15 into 5 and 3.

    • echelon6 on 20/11/2017 - 21:46

      I want what this guy's having.

  • Randxyz123 on 14/11/2017 - 13:42

    Can you take long service leave ?

    Just chill out for a couple of months? Maybe do something you’d enjoy or have been meaning to do for years (renovate your house , redo your garden , travel?)

  • ihbh on 14/11/2017 - 13:56
    +1

    A couple of options I've undertaken, experienced:

    • Take long career breaks of a couple of years (depends on your financial situation, but since you don't waste money keeping up with the Jones and have a reasonably well paying job, then this is very feasible) and do what you've always wanted to do - e.g. learn and train to play a sport like a pro, write a book, be an active father (that is, take turns being the primary carer of your kids with your wife), etc.

    • Participate in the community more actively, with deeper and wider connections - e.g. with a church, your neighbourhood, a club, fathers' group (with the kids), etc.

    • Do volunteer/Pro Bono work - e.g. a family in your community having a baby - roster to bring them a couple of home cooked meals after the baby arrives. Recently we went to a JP to get something witnessed. He happened to be an ex-barrister and gave us advice and drafted up contracts that took up many hours of his time and was delighted when we gave him a bottle of champagne but didn't expect anything in return.

  • TheBilly on 14/11/2017 - 13:58
    +4

    It's not your career, it's your life style. All careers are shit.

    I've worked in 6 different industries to learn, that work is work, you just got to do it - and it will always suck the life out of you. Why does it do that? because the type of compensation which is 'money' is not in line with what you feel is appropriate as a normal human being. We spent thousands of years farming/hunting living day to day etc. Where the fruits of our efforts were food/hand made goods/trade etc. to all of a sudden in the last 200 years being couped up behind a desk to feed ourselves by using our minds and intellectual smarts and getting paper in return to spend on things we don't need.

    The only solution is to do something on the side that makes you feel alive again, this you will have to figure out on your own. You can't stop working now as money is the name of the game and it is not realistic, being a brute force warrior hunting tribal leader just won't cut the mustard anymore - money makes the world go round.

    However what I do on the side is hunting / fishing / camping - it feels natural.

    But you can do whatever ticks for you.

    Work isn't going to change though, you will eventually get sick of the next one too.

    • cannedhams on 15/11/2017 - 20:19
      +2

      If you ever get the chance you should read the unabomber manifesto he touches on a lot of the same points.

      • TheBilly on 15/11/2017 - 21:17

        I will read it. Thanks !

  • mreddie on 14/11/2017 - 14:35
    +1

    The renewable energy sector is booming, lots of new jobs and technology coming every day… and it's not going to go away any time soon. Could be an interesting area to get involved in.

  • Kangal on 14/11/2017 - 15:37
    +1

    Great suggestions in so far:

    • New job
    • Part-time job
    • A Vacation
    • Change of Weekends (fishing etc)
    • Change of Morning/Night/Weekend schedule
    • Taking up hobbies (writing etc etc)
    • Listening to intellectuals like Feynman, Hitchens, Peterson, etc etc

    …and throw my suggestion too:
    - Get a lot of friends, good quality friends at that (not one-sided), so that you have someone to get information and entertainment from. Bonus points if they can be long-term. Can't be long-distance, it's imperative that they are within a 20min drive from you.

    • cannedhams on 14/11/2017 - 17:02

      Word. Thanks for that mate, so true.

  • mrwindow on 15/11/2017 - 08:06

    Take up running. I run marathons and ultra marathons! Obviously took a while to yield up to it, but it gives you a tangible goal as opposed to the office grind. I have been in my career a bit over 15 years but running is what gets me up !! I read this recently it’s a pretty fair assessment

    https://www.outsideonline.com/2229791/why-are-most-endurance…

    You could always do something like legal on demand, different workplaces new faces. Not sure what the money is like or even if the type of work suits..

    • cannedhams on 15/11/2017 - 20:18

      There is a lot of truth in this except i have always preferred cycling. But i definitely have to resolve the work stuff first.

  • teasatotalling on 15/11/2017 - 08:28
    +1

    Ange Postecoglou is looking for another coaching job. Try him.

  • echelon6 on 20/11/2017 - 21:51

    Is early retirement an option?

    I hate my work too. My hate drives me to save and invest and learn how to better invest so that I may retire early. Maybe if you restructure your current asset base, you might find early retirement is a current option, or viable in the foreseeable future.

    • cannedhams on 26/11/2017 - 17:58

      Thanks. Probably not an option as far as early retirement goes, but yeah I have to really think about investing because I have really slacked off in that regard.

  • chumlee on 20/11/2017 - 21:52

    Maybe try a different law career first depending on your legal expertise like a role with:

    ACCC
    ASIC
    Consumer Action Law Centre or even
    Legal Aid

  • AlienC on 25/11/2017 - 06:35
    +1

    Spend a week or two on some beach somewhere can be somewhere close like Fiji or somewhere farther like Hawaii.

    Maybe you just need a break to unwind and recharge.

    Otherwise yeah follow or find your passion/s and just run with it.

    Do what makes you happy or the most healthy and stress free.

    Remember your life and health is the most important thing in your life, once you destroy your health it can be hard to get it back.

    Have watched a few friends and family members burn out and most of them moved to volunteer work or something more laid back and relaxing like church, knitting classes or meditation.

    Just do what you like.

    Good luck man.

    • cannedhams on 25/11/2017 - 17:46

      Thank you, I've applied for a couple of things. Things are a bit better at work but still resolved to get out. Thanks to all for the messages.

  • grog on 25/11/2017 - 17:52
    +1

    Walk around suburb at least 30 minutes per day every day 365 …leave phones etc at home.

    Just walk and do it every day.

    • cannedhams on 26/11/2017 - 17:57

      Definitely good advice. We have a baby at the moment so I am trying to do a couple of laps of the park with her of an evening.

  • [Deactivated] on 03/12/2017 - 08:54

    As a early career lawyer in Brisbane who has been working ungodly hours for minimal remuneration, I'm feeling a similar thing (albeit not near as much experience as you). May I ask what has kept you going as long as you have?
    I often wonder myself if a break is just the thing I need to take a step back and destress. I don't want to allow myself to be disillusioned by the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. But at the same time, I also have felt that I have just gone along for the ride without really being personally invested in the lawyer 'lifestyle' - but does that mean I should get out sooner rather than later.. Interested in hearing your opinion OP.

    • cannedhams on 04/12/2017 - 18:05

      Sorry mate, the reply immediately below this was meant to be in response to your post.

  • cannedhams on 04/12/2017 - 18:05
    +2

    "I also have felt that I have just gone along for the ride without really being personally invested in the lawyer 'lifestyle'"

    Mate, I know exactly what you mean. I grew up working class. I never cared about rugby or red wine or golf or drove a Range Rover. I didnt see it as necessary, but in hindsight, people do that stuff for a reason. The people who networked obsessively were the ones who got ahead. Particularly the ones who came from elite private schools and already knew the benefit of it already.

    Its hard for me to tell you whether you should get out or not. However, if I had my time again, I would have made much more of an effort not necessarily to play golf, but to serve on committees, participate in local community groups, legal services, etc.

    I had to ring one of the senior QLS counsellors for guidance on a particular issue recently and was pleasantly surprised when the senior practitioner I spoke to rang me back very punctually, gave excellent advice and was really authentic and sincere. You get cynical and start thinking that there is no collegiality in the law anymore, but just like any profession, some people are ungenerous and others not.

    I would work 10 or 12 hour days, and then go home and play Battlefield until 3am, fall asleep in my suit and then wake up the next morning, straighten my tie and go into work again. It was about as sustainable as it sounds.

    The people I grew up with became refrigeration mechanics, diesel turners, welders etc. They make much more money than I do. They spend more too, including on drugs and alcohol. Flying in and flying out all the time. Plus the bullying and blokiness on work sites. I'm not sure if the grass is greener. But every job has its moments I suspect.

    Above all else: think about where you're heading, where you'll be in five year or ten years, even if its doing what you're doing now. If you can't stomach the thought of that, then it might be time to get out.

    • [Deactivated] on 04/12/2017 - 20:07

      Thanks mate, appreciate the insight. Difficulty is that my firm has a great servant ethos and I look up to many of the senior practitioners, but you are right where if I am honest with myself, I can't see myself like them in 5-50 years time. I am part of NFP boards and a local community legal centre, but I just feel I'm spending all this time at work without giving my wife and family the attention they deserve. Let us know how you go in the distant future!

    • poidah on 27/12/2017 - 11:01

      " serve on committees, participate in local community groups, legal services, etc"

      Why not put your hands up now?
      Cynicism is a symptom of burn out.

      Sounds like you are struggling to take a decent break, so maybe mixing the work up with some new volunteering activities will help.

      • cannedhams on 27/12/2017 - 17:20

        Fair enough. Previously I did a fair bit of service work, however having children makes that a bit more difficult. I would definitely recommend it though whatever your profession is. You only get out what you put in.

        • poidah on 28/12/2017 - 08:16

          Have you seen your GP or counsellor/psychologist to bounce ideas about what you are going through.
          Does help to gain perspective about the situation.

        • cannedhams on 28/12/2017 - 15:12

          @poidah: Have done both. I've been through quite a few antidepressants, moclobemide, escitalopram, agomelatine and fluvoxamine. I cant say that any of them were worth taking over the long term.

          I read an article recently that said that antidepressants may be better than placebo but not better than an active placebo. They definitely make you feel different, you get a bit giddy and fuzzy at times, and the sexual effects are pretty nasty. So because of that you assume that they must be doing you some good.

          Ive done therapy as well. I think its a good thing particularly when you are at your wits end. I do feel that its a bit like paid sex though, they're not your real friend and there's only so much that they can do for you.

Login or Join to leave a comment
Login Join