Stress Leave: Currently Manager Subtle Bullying Me to Eventually Leave

hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 00:12
Last edited 09/10/2017 - 20:48

Note: I am not going to leave, standing my ground.

Sorry for the long post.

I work in retail for approx 4 years now at the same branch while doing my 5 year uni degree, had 5 managers but the current manager been there approx 1 year. What can I tell ya, she's a piece of illogical work. The previous 4 managers, fine, no problems.

I started getting stressed approx 3 months while she is a manager as our vision, leadership, management skill sets, opinions, petty incidents are always clashing, and she would accuse reps, including myself of wrongdoings without any evidence and this is when the huge clash started.

When she was hired externally with previous 6 years manager experience or so, I had a feeling that I wouldn't trust her and she seemed like a snake and I was right. For example;
- One day I let a power of attorney sign off for a product that came in on behalf of the account holder while the account holder who is not able to discuss matters into her own hands is not able to sign. I accepted the P.O.A and the account holder said it's fine verbally cause…. it's a P.O.A! Anywhoo, my manager somehow found out the next day because the customer came in and the product was faulty, on my day off. Instead of my new manager ringing me stating I can't accept P.O.As etc, she decided to ring the area manager, dob on me stating I didn't follow privacy. Long story short, I got a formal warning from HR and the area manager that I didn't do the right process even though our privacy guideline stated nothing about it but the privacy act stated a person can give consent or better yet have POA. But I took that warning and be done with that. That was a gray area between law vs company policy.

So that's when it all snowballed and I completely lost 100% trust in my new manager, though there was no trust build up to that point. Ever since then, she's been nitpicking on all the stuff I do now, for example;
- Checking the cameras if I vacuumed a specific area, as one day I missed a spot and she told me off for not cleaning that area
- Checking her watch to see if I came back from lunch on time, as approx 2 times I came back from lunch approx 2 minutes late, yes she timed me
- Coming in on her day off to see if the staff, myself are not slacking off etc
- She doesn't admit blame when she followed the wrong process and I advised her on the right process. One day she said "You're wrong, I'm right", even though I had the process in hard writing because a customer came back complaining the job was not done properly

In all fairness, I am the outspoken one in the team and I am NOT afraid to tell her she's doing someone wrong and give feedback verbally in a constructive manner. I would say something like: "A customer came in and spoke to you regarding X, and it was processed this way but I fixed it and this is how what I did. Just to let you know for next time". She's really defensive and she took major offence and told me I was wrong. Even though the process I follow are in hard writing.

I had no problems with my previous managers, also my collegues are feeling the pressure as well. I had 2 work mates stated that my manager is nit picking on me because I am the outspoken rep that stands up ethical justice. My workmates and I were speaking about one rep (who is also very confident and outspoken more than anyone I know) who left 3 months ago cause we were missing him that our manager stated that shes glad he left and she only needed one more person to go. Which was obviously me. Cause me other workmates don't stand up for themselves, they just bitch about the manager behind her back, where I have no problems telling her off.

There are other petty, mediocre but also macro issues that I cannot discuss but at the end of the day it all boils down to me being very stressed at work. I have never been more stressed in my professional life ever. I have been seeing a councilor for the past 4 months and those sessions have mediated me not to go ape shit on my current manager.

I am now up to the point of wanting to take off 1 month of stress leave, possibly more to cool down and continue my sessions with my therapist. My question is: has anyone taken stress leave? Is this even a legal thing for any organisation or only organisations that decide to have stress leave in their internal policies? Because the fairwork website does not state "stress leave" exactly, but it may come under sick leave? I have looked at the company's policy and nothing about stress leave nor how to apply for it.

This post was not to gain sympathy or empathy, everyone has different views and I respect that.

Update 09.10.17: Thankyou for all your replies, today I saw my psychologist and we came to a happy conclusion that its best for me to see my doctor and have them sign off 1 month or more off work to evaluate and collect my thoughts, be proactive in changing my attitude towards my immediate manager even though I had no problems with my previous managers. I lost the battle before it even started. She's not going to change. I also wanted to have a serious, constructive one on one chat with my manager, but after all the info I said to my psychologist, its best not have that one on one talk as it may unleash a debate. At the end of the day, my manager is living with me (head space) and I don't want that. The more I talk about her, the more my collegues talk about her the more emotionally damaged, irate and negative perspectives will be drawn out again within me. Its best to keep my mouth shut, do whatever she wants me to do, pass the mistakes onto her and let her deal with it. Thankyou for the replies, kill her with kindness, do not debate back with logic and reasoning as this time I know I cannot reason with this manager.

Education & Work

Comments

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 00:51
      +13

      So it's ok for her to not follow a process and when I fix her mistakes, I cannot give her feedback on the right policy? Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. Even if I miss something, she tells me but she doesn't do it constructively, she just says: "next time you do it wrong, I am going to write you up". Where as other managers will be like: "next time the process is x x x".

      If all employees let things slide and let managers tread over workers and employees become yes men, then there will be an alarming rate of misuse of power.

      And I am not telling her off as in: "F U, YOU'RE WRONG, WHY ARE YOU A MANAGER! BLAAHHHH", that is not my personality but I will speak up, stand my ground if processes are constantly not being done correctly if I get the same complaint over and over again by the same rep, manager or not.

      Me and my workmates have this culture where we always tell each other if we did something wrong, but they will never confront our manager if she did something wrong, which I do and also the rep that left 3 months ago did it as well. Hence, that's why someone said to me that she happy that the other rep left and she's waiting for me to go as well.

      Approx 4 months ago, her and I did sit down to talk about our differences and she said she will be more mindful of what she says and I will be more mindful of what I say if I do come across as a rude jerk. Until to this day, I toned down quite a lot and only raise customer complaints if they want to speak to a manager and all the wrong process done wrong, I don't tell her anymore, I now say it in meetings as general feedback and not one to one.

      • hell0 on 09/10/2017 - 01:03
        +1

        "she just says: "next time you do it wrong, I am going to write you up"."
        You should add this to your log book (see my post below)… date/time/situation…

        You need to successfully prove that their is bullying/stress/intimidation as relying on memory without dates/times isn't going to cut it and your claim will be weak.

        "but they will never confront our manager if she did something wrong, which I do and also the rep that left 3 months ago did it as well. Hence, that's why someone said to me that she happy that the other rep left and she's waiting for me to go as well." Stop being a right-fighter and look after yourself. Do it as she directs, why stress for?

      • justdigi on 09/10/2017 - 07:57
        +2

        “So it's ok for her to not follow a process and when I fix her mistakes, I cannot give her feedback on the right policy?”

        Don’t fix her mistakes. Let her fall on her own sword. If a customer comes back with something that was done wrong, tell them you can’t fix it and will get the manager. It is up for o her to rectify her own mistakes. If she keeps eating people coming back, she will soon learn she is the problem.

      • Slippery Fish on 09/10/2017 - 09:39
        -7

        I sorta figured if the first one was super critical the rest would be nice. This is the internet after all :).

    • airal3rt on 09/10/2017 - 01:04
      +14

      Jesus get the manager's member out of your throat already. Blindly following authority is pathetic. Stand up for what's right, not blindly accepting some idiot's warped ideas.

    • SydStrand on 09/10/2017 - 01:44
      +4

      You don't get to tell your manager off, no matter how right or wrong they are they are still your manager.

      I get the feeling you've been lucky enough to avoid bad managers. I have, and it makes for a hostile and distracting workplace. We didn't have bullying, like the OP, but a couple of real ball-busting martinets. They were hired externally and had no idea how to run a department, and instead fell back on old habits of nit-picking performance. Eventually their mismanagement led to slipping sales targets, and people made complaints. I suggest the OP does the same.

    • ronnknee on 09/10/2017 - 07:29
      +9

      Nice try, OP's manager.

        • ronnknee on 09/10/2017 - 10:39
          +2

          Whoosh

        • Baebs on 09/10/2017 - 22:12
          +1

          Thank (profanity) god.

    • altomic on 09/10/2017 - 07:59
      +8

      *you're

    • lainey13 on 09/10/2017 - 19:25

      What culture are you from/what other countries have you worked in? I find different places have different attitudes in the workplace. In general Australian ones are a bit more relaxed, a bit less 'manager is always right'. I've never felt here that people should never ever say anything to rock the boat at work and that you should always follow blindly.

    • djmm on 09/10/2017 - 20:33

      Slippery - you must be working as unskilled worker I take it?

      • Slippery Fish on 09/10/2017 - 21:49
        -7

        I'm a qualified chef with a diploma in hospitality. I don't really see why it matters though, you work with your boss to achieve workplace objectives…

        Nothing worse than someone fighting.

    • errorius on 10/10/2017 - 07:43
      +1

      I'm speechless…You have no idea how to properly manage a team…

      • Slippery Fish on 10/10/2017 - 10:01
        -1

        You are as bad as the yes vote flamers.

  • hell0 on 09/10/2017 - 00:58
    +9

    OK. Sorry to hear about your stressful situation.

    1st thing first, don't get bogged down in how your colleagues are feeling as when it comes to standing up for yourself they WILL NOT rock the boat and you will be alone fighting for their issues when you have your own to worry about. Stop standing up for everyone as this doesn't help you and when YOU get fired or leave because of the stress they won't be paying your bills no matter how nice they are.

    If she tells you to do stuff that is slow or the 'wrong way', inefficient etc then that's how you should do it… You seem to have ways of doing things that aren't the way she wants, but your job is to do things how she wants and if they are wrong then so be it, thats not your issue.

    Lastly but most importantly, keep a record of everything and all communications, verbal, written etc in a log book. Over a long period of time you will hopefully have real evidence that helps you…

    OK now for the stress leave part. You can go to the doctor and get a sick certificate for stress leave. It just comes under sick leave, same thing. Alternatively you may want to lodge a claim for stress leave under workcover, but you need to maybe phone workcover and get some advice as to how the system works in NSW for your issue.

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 01:04
      +5

      Thankyou for your very helpful comment!

      I agree, I should stop following the process that is written in the books and follow her process the way she wants it to. I follow the books because I feel if I do step out of the books, she will further incriminate me for not following the book. I need to find the happy medium between her process vs the books process.

      I will see workcover and see what advice I can get. Thankyou

      • iamw0man on 09/10/2017 - 08:46
        +5

        She probably will but this is where the log book comes in handy. Every time she tells you to do something, write it down. Keep a notepad and pen with you, just tell her you're taking notes so you can do a better job. Be sickeningly sweet and note every interaction that happens with the time and date and then, when push comes to shove, you'll be able to back up your story with a detailed log.

      • [Deactivated] on 09/10/2017 - 12:03
        +4

        @hasher22

        No no no no no no no no no no no n no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        I worked in super for decades.

        DO NOT MAKE IT A WORKPLACE ISSUE.

        See your doctor because you are suffering from anxiety and depression. DON'T MAKE IT ABOUT WORK.

        You see workcover will end your claim immediately because they'll say you can work in any job apart from your current role because it's just about this dick you work with.

        I hope you read this in time.

        Make it about your life and a medical condition. Surely there's something else outside of work you can talk to your doctor about??

        Good luck.

  • airal3rt on 09/10/2017 - 01:02
    +10

    I've ran across three of these toxic people in my time, trust me it's not worth the stressful impact it can have when it snowballs further. Just get as far away from them as you can, if you can't change departments or stores then get a new job. Otherwise you'll regret trying to stick it out and having to process and manage their toxicity when you come back from stress leave, it's not worth it speaking from experience.

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 01:18

      Thankyou for your advice.

      We just started out on the wrong foot and it snowballed from there. The initial rapport, communication and trust building was non-existent even though I did make an effort to organise a team dinner the 2nd week she was manager (not to be mistaken for brown-nosing! :O lol) which didn't happen unfortunately.

      But yes, I do see your point and I think I should just, in her favour, become a yes man. As not everyone gets along with everyone, that's reality, but in this instance, detach myself non-verbally so work life is manageable.

  • Some Human on 09/10/2017 - 02:20

    Stress leave is good. It uses up your sick leave and you're under no obligation to tell them why you're stressed.

  • PJC on 09/10/2017 - 02:25
    +7

    Is this your job or your chosen career? Isn't this job's main purpose to maintain solvency while studying at University? Then stop reacting. Just behave like everything in the garden's lovely. Her ego will drive her to make more mistakes - don't react. Stress leave won't make her go away. You are not your colleagues' spokesman and they will do nothing substantial to support you in workplace politics. Stop reacting, it is postponing your happiness.

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 09:12

      Thankyou, I agree, I should stop being righteous in the sense of making processes and trying to minimise customer complaint through feedback. Before this manager, to be honest, workplace was quite a utopia.

  • spackbace on 09/10/2017 - 02:29
    +23

    Just leave.

    It's not a career job, it's not somewhere you see yourself in the future.

    You have enough experience under your belt that you should be an easy hire elsewhere, though it depends on how you play your references.

    I've worked for shit managers before and I'm sure everyone has. You guys won't sort your issues and no one externally will.

    Unfortunately I'd hate to think of the snide comments she'll be saying if you take stress leave.

    Just leave. Move on. This is a battle you won't win.

    • bocca on 10/10/2017 - 17:17

      Yeah, GTFO.

      its just a job and sounds like you're not having a fun time

  • chumlee on 09/10/2017 - 06:31
    +11

    I would like to hear your managers side of the story too

    • pais on 09/10/2017 - 11:16
      +3

      I've seen emotionally charged letters like this written to HR and getting the other side of the story tends to nip it in the bud.

  • dan76n on 09/10/2017 - 06:49
    +3

    Your doctor can give you time off if they feel you are not fit for work and it will come out of your personal/sick leave.
    Are you fulltime/part Time? If so how much sick leave do you have available?

    From what you have said in your first post I’d suggest following the directions of your manager as that’s what is expected.
    All you need to do is put it back on her. She should be giving you clear directions to follow and as long as you are following them there’s no issue.
    If the directions aren’t clear then ask for some clarification.

    Not defending your manager as she could well be a terrible leader but from what you have posted it seems to me the work place you are in doesn’t like change. If HR has backed your written discussion then you have obviously gone outside of the business guidelines so really should try and learn from this and not worry about anyone else.
    No disrespect intended but it comes across that you have had a manager address an issue with you (previous managers probably didn’t do) and this has upset you so now instead of learning from it you are more focused on defending your actions by blaming her.
    It may well be an easy fix if you can adapt to your new leaders style otherwise I’d say it’s a lost cause so I’d move on ASAP.

  • tassieeagle on 09/10/2017 - 08:32
    +4

    As many others have said, grin and bear it, play nice and try not to let her get to you. In the meantime start looking for a new job. I'd avoid the stress leave path as it will probably lead to more problems and more stress for you (battles with hr over entitlements, remarks from other employees and the manager, poor reference when you do leave).

    Go into work with a positive attitude and think of one thing you are grateful for there and hold onto it. Ignore all the other petty bs and demands and try and get on with your day. Forget about your workmates problems, if they have an issue they need to voice it themselves, because believe me if push comes to shove they will not back you up when needed.

    Good luck, and remember your employment there is not forever

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 09:29

      Thankyou,

      Yes, you're right. Thus, that's why I want to take stress leave to re-evaluate myself. Her attitude has not changed, and I don't expect her to change, I will need to change myself in-order to mould into what she wants. Though, I am not going to sacrifice 100% myself, I do have some dignity.

  • farknos on 09/10/2017 - 08:33
    +2

    Lifes to short, get another job

  • ChillBro on 09/10/2017 - 08:35
    +3

    A lot of people are saying to just leave. Does this mean you should leave whenever there's even one (profanity) at your job? You'll be changing a lot of jobs then…

    • hasher22 on 09/10/2017 - 09:17

      Already made a decision not to leave. I like my job, I like helping customers, I like my workmates, this manager isn't going to defeat me but is heavily starting to. I know stress leave, just to take a break will do me some justice to collect my thoughts, re-evaluate my behaviour but also breathe.

      • StingyBritches on 09/10/2017 - 12:36
        +1

        Stress leave is a good idea, but… will anything have changed when you get back? Speaking from experience that is the most difficult part. Good luck OP.

    • pandabun on 09/10/2017 - 11:02

      Everyone has different tolerance threshold.
      Some pains are worth putting up with, some pains are just too much and you have to let it go.
      Walking away doesn't mean you are weak.

    • spackbace on 10/10/2017 - 00:19

      There's a difference between a career job and a 'just for the cash' job. We can be a lot more tolerant in 1 than we need to in the other.

      Plenty of jobs out there for qualified people

  • kallico on 09/10/2017 - 08:42

    I am interested to know what degree you are doing at uni. I think this is clouding you judgement. I also suspect your manager is from a different culture to you and you are resentful of this, you are a male and she is a female.
    I would also suggest that if you wish to stay in your job you earn some humility.
    You will eventually earn your degree and then you to can become a manager!

  • slikguy on 09/10/2017 - 08:52
    +4

    When she was hired externally with previous 6 years manager experience or so, I had a feeling that I wouldn't trust her and she seemed like a snake and I was right -quote

    Your initial attitude to the appointment of the new manager says a lot.
    You had your mind made up already that you won’t like the new manager. I would bet that you’ve already exhausted your sick leave and now you’re looking at stress leave as a way to take time off.
    Have you ever wondered how you make your colleagues feel with your constant whining and paranoia?

  • Speckled Jim on 09/10/2017 - 09:13
    +3

    She deserves a slow roasting.
    Don't run interference for her. Refer all customer complaints directly to her.
    This should get the ball rolling.

    Once a document-trail (or enough noise) is generated, it should come to the attention of area managers. They should then apply remedial measures to address her mismanagement.

    Makes you less of a threat. Just cover your arse and you'll be fine. Nobody in retail gets fired for being two minutes late from lunch.

  • ozbjunkie on 09/10/2017 - 09:28
    +2

    If anything else comes up with HR perhaps appeal to the fact you've been there for years and no problems with previous managers.

    But don't be late or slow back from lunch, she's probably looking for ammunition.

    Agreed with previous poster don't fix her mistakes, let her eat them.

  • tss on 09/10/2017 - 09:40
    +2

    As a area manager, I would be disappointed in a staff member (and their line manager) not wanting to report directly to me if they are having problems with their immediate line manager and instead deciding to leave. It is always more prudent to try to keep an experienced and skillful staff member engaged and working, then trying to employ and upskill a new staff member, except in certain circumstances.

    My focus as an area manager would be to ensure there are no communication issues between team members and teams, and to remove road blockers from everyone being able to do their job.

    My advice would be to consider whether you would wish to open a dialog of communication with the line manager by talking to your area manager directly and asking for help to work through your concerns. If you are beyond this point of trying to work through the problem, then I would suggest that moving onwards would be the most prudent thing for your health and sanity.

    (Please consider the advice in light of what may or may not be applicable in your situation).

  • iamagirl1969 on 09/10/2017 - 09:40
    +2

    I feel for you, I do. I spent nine months with a supervisor who I think, wrote the book on how to behave in a passive-aggressive manner. She was so critical and destructive in her comments and mannerisms, that after I while I started to dread having to go into her office for anything (I was working in the child protection sector) When it was time for my monthly supervision sessions with her, I started to feel physically ill. After one particularly brutal expose on just how bad I was as a social worker, she asked me how I felt. I told her that I felt like getting into my car and driving under a truck on the way home from work. She laughed, told me I was funny and walked out. Another time she asked me why I looked so frazzled? I told her it was because I had accrued 69 hours of TOIL (unpaid overtime) due to my ridiculously high workload (( had 14 official sibling groups to case manage and another 3 that were not on my case load, but that I often had to jump in and assist when other workers were away or overwhelmed.) These were ALL high needs children/adolescents who were removed from families and placed into foster, state care or emergency/out of home care, and would often do things like self-harm, injure other workers/siblings, smear or eat poo, abscond from school or home, torture small animals, destroy property etc etc etc (you get the picture) I at times had shifts that would start at 7.30am and end at 9.30pm, of which I was chastised over (I was told I cared too much and needed to grow balls) When it came time for me to leave, I was presented with a voucher from Oxfam to buy some third world family a goat and told to bring my purse to work so I could buy MYSELF lunch at the pub at lunch time. I was also told to ring all my clients and tell them I was no longer being employed as of Monday. I turned around and cleared out my desk at 7am the next morning, whilst leaving my final timesheet on my supervisors desk, with a very nasty sticky note, telling her what she could do with the Oxfam voucher!!!!

  • iamagirl1969 on 09/10/2017 - 09:44

    Just an add on……….unless your current supervisor is caught on CTV camera pocketing money from the till, or physically backhands a customer etc (e.g something that cannot be ignored or swept under the carpet) no paper trail is going to make much of a difference. It appears that your supervisor has some very obvious psychopathy traits, which unfortunately the big end of business find quite attractive in a supervisor/manager. It's an unfortunate sign of the times.

    • FirstNameLastName on 10/10/2017 - 14:32

      I believe the independent investigators can work on a balance of probabilities.. evidence doesn't need to be physical. If they interviewed staff and various people witnessed behaviours outside of the policy that may be all that's required to see the manager sacked.. if manager isn't sacked.. 3rd party may demand it

  • Eca1 on 09/10/2017 - 09:52

    If you decide to keep written notes of "incidents" for future reference,consider making sure the language is objective and factual.

  • Seraphin7 on 09/10/2017 - 10:51

    A bit of perspective here … from someone who experienced something similar 25-odd years ago!

    You say this is your "uni job". I'm assuming this is not going to be your lifelong profession. Looks like you're about a year out from pursuing your post-university career. You no doubt enjoy doing some work from the perspective earning a bit of cash, the social aspects of work and the ability to build some customer service skills.

    Why the hell do you want to put yourself through what you are basically saying is a toxic work culture?

    Just chuck in the towel and get another similar job to tide you over until you've finished your degree and moved into your chosen profession. Seriously, you've got your whole life to deal with frustrating managers, etc., etc. while actually in this profession. Your university years are for studying, building some basic professional skills and having a good time … it's not the time to get caught up in all this palaver! Don't give yourself all the grief that goes with "fighting the system" for something you're (likely) not that invested in anyway.

    Yes, it sucks that you've got a new manager that is a pain up the @ss. But guess what, there is very little upside for you in fighting on this one. Without knowing what you expect to get out of any battle here, the probabilities are that it simply will not be worth it given the totality of your circumstances.

  • pais on 09/10/2017 - 11:07
    +5

    When she was hired externally with previous 6 years manager experience or so, I had a feeling that I wouldn't trust her and she seemed like a snake and I was right

    Sounds like you started off on the wrong foot.

    What you've described to me here sounds like performance management done poorly, but certainly not bullying. If you're being asked to perform duties to a certain standard during company time, and the feedback you're getting is negative, this isn't bullying. You can notate every interaction you have with this person to present to their manager or HR, but IME this will get you nowhere. The AM will ask for your line manager's perspective and if they're any sort of manager, they'll have notated each performance conversation noted, too.

    If you do decide to start notating incidents, I'd get a third party to read them to ensure you're objective in your language. What you've written here does not at all compel me to believe your manager is bullying you. It does suggest they need to be trained on performance management, and they probably need to pick their battles if you were indeed back from your break by 2 minutes and it was an isolated incident. The overall vibe I get is that you plain don't like the manager and are passive aggressive towards him/her, which isn't going to help you in any way with this manager or any future manager.

    I'd also start out of any tiffs between your peers and the manager. You might think you're doing the right thing by trying to stick up for others, but if it's detrimental to your mental health, it's clearly not working.

  • tsunamisurfer on 09/10/2017 - 12:00
    +4

    There are several grey areas in this situation where the scenario is subject to interpretation, however you listed a few things.

    1) You missed a spot, as a person hired to clean, you are hired not to miss a spot.

    2) Late back from lunch, as petty as 2 mins is, you were late, own it and move on.

    3) Checking on you on her day off, if you are not slacking off, what would be the problem?

    If you need a therapist to deal with the above, may I suggest you have more to be concerned about than just this manager?

  • Ozpit on 09/10/2017 - 12:04

    Go and discuss your situation with HR. They will advise you on what to do in moving forward. They will also raise your concerns with your boss. The outcome will probably include HR organising a meeting with you, your boss and a HR rep. HR will lead the meeting and will give both you and your boss the opportunity to air your thoughts/feelings. HR will make notes of all the key points expressed and agreed between you and your boss. Usually, this is all it takes for relations between two employees to improve, particularly (as in your case) your boss knows the situation (she) is being monitored.

    Note that HR will not not want the situation to escalate to you taking sick leave, or the Fair Work Ombudsman being involved because it will cost your employer MONEY, particularly if it goes to court.

    Why isn't your therapist advising you to speak with HR?

    As someone above said, most employers would walk all over their employees (treat them like shit) if they could get away with it. We have the union movement to thank for all the benefits/conditions employees enjoy today. These were hard fought over more than a hundred years, and have now become entrenched in society as basic worker rights across all industries.

    Young people today think the work conditions they enjoy are somehow natural justice and God-given. Not so. That's why union membership is mostly made up of more mature workers; young employees can't see the relevance or point in union membership now that work conditions, including pay, are generally reasonable.

  • KaTst3R on 09/10/2017 - 12:50
    +2

    You will face the same situation again in the corporate world. There are a lot of difficult to deal with type of people. Dont get too stressed out, your health is more important than stressing over a bad manager. Do your job properly, dont give her opportunities to pick on you. If it gets too much, speak to HR.

  • HeWhoKnows on 09/10/2017 - 12:56
    -1

    You should lodge a formal complaint further up the ladder and point out that she is discriminating against you and stressing you. Also pointing out you good performance history with previuous maangers. Would help to point out that she was responsible for the other reps departure and hence she is causing personnel/HR issues for the company
    Certainly saying there is one more person to get rid of is grounds for discrimination.
    If no remedial action from management then talk to your doctor and explain the situation. Your doctor can grant you leave on any health basis including stress though this wont go dont too well with management. You should also lodge a workers compensation claim since the leave is directly work related. This hsould turn a few heads.
    You can always take the matter further with the relevent govt body if nothing comes good of the situation.

  • ruddiger7 on 09/10/2017 - 13:08

    I would go up the chain and communicate basically what you have stated to a higher manager. Bullying in the workplace is taken fairly seriously or should be by HR and higher ups. I would list a lot of evidence and potentially even see if anyone else in the workplace would side with you, let them know how it is affecting you. If noone is willing to hear you out or treat you seriously then just leave honestly and cite your reasons for doing so.

    I wouldnt say I was ever subject to the same but many years ago when I was still studying and working a casual job in retail, the manager wanted to get rid of me as I was 21 and earning a decent wage and they preferred to hire 17 year olds to save money. They looked for any excuse to fire me and did so without any warning by citing CCTV footage of me sending a text message while behind the counter during a very quiet period of trading. Sure it wasn't the right thing to do, but it was very common practise amongst staff but on reflection the best thing I ever did was leave that place anyway. I considered myself a great worker and always gave the job my all.

  • [Deactivated] on 09/10/2017 - 13:26
    -2

    Time to call the union….

    Us Aussies… we need the unions to keep our jobs… we need to unite… your boss is probably in a boss union conspiring against you too….

  • wkd on 09/10/2017 - 13:42
    +1

    so you didnt follow company policy which resulted in a formal warning and now mad that the manager is micro managing you?

    any who, seems like a toxic environment with you and her being there together. one of you needs to leave

  • jchowx on 09/10/2017 - 14:27

    I've been in a similar situation twice with two managers at different stores. I would advise to get a different job. I know it's a hard reality to face but if it's driving you to a therapist and obviously impacting your mental state of mind it is NOT worth it. No job is worth that level of stress. And if you've been there for quite a few years, maybe you can look at the situation a different way - look for a new opportunity, a new beginning? Change isn't always bad.

  • ssyl9 on 09/10/2017 - 14:35
    +4

    Sounds like you went thru 4 pretty relax managers and is not fitting well when the new manager is very tight up,

    Many of your issues stated are not really issues… confronting about Missing spots and coming back from lunch late 2 minutes with spot checking is actually her god damn job as a manager. Just because previous managers are cool about it, doesn't mean she has to be

    Also about processes, since I do not know what industry you are working in, I don't know who is correct. But if there is a conflict between the directions of a book or a manager, always follow the manager as the book is dead, the manager can assess situations and give more flexible directions. Even if you feel the directions is wrong, still follow it.

    Just think it like this, if a mistake were to happen, if you are following the manager's direction, you can say you are just following directions. If you are following the book and not your manager, then you are on your own with that mistake and the manager can also add that she has already told you to not do it that way.

    Also you come in the wrong foot as it seems, you are just not good with a strict manager, I suggest you can either own it up and change your way of thinking or just quit.

    Then about stress leave. Stress leave is sick leave and will only be paid if you have outstanding sick leaves. You can certainly take unpaid ones though with a cert. No one is gonna question you about it since, they simply cannot do that.

  • cameldownunder on 09/10/2017 - 14:50
    +3

    "In all fairness, I am the outspoken one in the team"
    You are screwed. Nobody likes people who are upfront, outspoken and honest. Not at work. Even worse if you prove that they did something wrong.

    • AustriaBargain on 10/10/2017 - 04:28
      +1

      In my experience the people who least like outspoken people are outspoken bullies themselves. They can dish it out hot over the slightest thing, but they are actually thin skinned and wouldn't dare let anyone speak to them in the same way.

  • MessyG on 09/10/2017 - 15:10
    +2

    Just on the POA - did you sight the POA documentation plus identification and ensure that the POA covered financial guardianship? I'm not sure what state you're in but you need to be careful, you can get them for medical or accommodation or finances only. I don't see the issue if you did check all of that. If you didn't do that, that's pretty risky.

    All very good advice given above - request a meeting with HR, and her present, and a support person for you, and try to talk about it.

    And take sick leave. Don't call it stress leave. You do not need to give a reason for why you are sick, talk about it with your GP. Maybe try with a week off to recollect yourself, and arrange a meeting to sort it out.

  • Cletus vandamme on 09/10/2017 - 15:15
    +2

    Sorry to say but suck it up. You will have to deal with bigger problems in future and if this is how you handle something that is not even a career for you then you are in for a shock. So what if you manager is a dick get your work done and go home rinse repeat.

    I dont know anything about your personal life but if simple things like this stress you out well theres no hope for you in future. Honestly taking a month of is a pisstake. What will you do in an oversaturated job market with a mortgage kids to feed? take a month off because your boss is an ahole? I mean seriously are people really this sensitive today that they need a hug because of something so trivial?

    Im sorry not to sound like a dick but either leave or put up with it. There are better conditions elsewhere and considering its not a career just leave. But know when you enter your chosen career things may not be all high fives and smiles and you may not have the choice to leave so easily.

  • [Deactivated] on 09/10/2017 - 15:19
    +2

    Retail managers are a dime a dozen. Your company probably hired one out of an agency and is keeping her because the numbers add up. Nothing more than a bottom line business to the higher ups.

    You've been civil and matured by approaching the manager first but that approach has failed. Time to voice it to the HR and be sure to point out that you've been there through 4 other managers with no concerns and outline your concerns as they appear here. If HR doesn't leave, there's nothing you can do but to play the same game your manager is on. At the end of the day, if HR is only interested in numbers then you shouldn't help your manager produce those figures.

    Chances are, the manager has no grounds to sack you otherwise you'd already be long gone.

  • DiscoJango on 09/10/2017 - 16:04

    In my prvious role, i got along with manager 1 fine. Then i got a new manager, and we did not get along, at all. She tried very hard to get me in trouble on every occasion, but couldnt as i was always right. I would take every opportunity to piss manager number 2 off, and she couldnt do much about it :)

  • idonotknowwhy on 09/10/2017 - 16:40
    +1
    • Coming in on her day off to see if the staff, myself are not slacking off etc

    LOL! What a loser. Sounds like she has no life!

  • sky blu on 09/10/2017 - 17:17
    +1

    Sorry to hear that you have to seek counselling to battle work-related stress. Sometimes you gotta remember that "it is always better to be kind than to be right". You are very similar to me, ethical, doing the right things, fight when it isn't my fault.. but at the end of the day, it will only be YOUR loss when it all comes to shit. None of colleagues will be able to help you. Managers already have their titles, what do you think your title is? Rep, retail assistant, staff, worker? How about pawns? Insisting your manager is "wrong" even though "the process I follow are in hard writing"? Do you know the relationship of your manager to other managers? Or even the boss? It's not about being "right", it is about (and always about) politics.

    I'm not saying you should be a sheep, just be strategic about your moves. Think of it like chess. Agree with your manager more, follow her "methodology", ask her to show you the process when she claims to be right. Have it in writing. Use on actual sales/customers. Watch things crumble.

  • [Deactivated] on 09/10/2017 - 17:54
    +2

    If you take notes as suggested above (good idea), do not lie in them.

    You will get found out eventually and all your credibility will be gone.

    In this day and age with everything recorded lies are usually always caught.

  • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 09/10/2017 - 18:17
    +2

    I've been there. The only way to win is to focus on yourself and the clients. Do a damn good job and be proud of yourself. Be polite and obey instructions from the manager and nothing else.

    If they really have it in for you, they will slip up and make a mistake. If they're just a hard ass and you're not used to it due to past cruisy managers, time will pass and all will be well again. Otherwise just look for another job. Change is as good as a holiday.

  • Lysander on 09/10/2017 - 19:53
    +2

    Watch the movies "Horrible Bosses" and "Horrible Bosses 2". There is everything you need to know and learn. ;-)

  • Thommo on 09/10/2017 - 22:30
    +2

    Anyone having difficulties with people at work - KEEP DETAILED WRITTEN RECORDS. Date/time/what happened/names of people present or witnesses/what you did about it/what management did about it.

    I email them to my home email so they are time stamped.

    Follow up verbal discussions with emails.If you end up in an industrial court or in a job threatening situation you want to have good records that the conduct was repeated and unreasonable.

    I've been on the other side being a manager wrongly accused of bullying by a person with schizophrenia. My detailed records ensured that employee had no case and saved my job.

    On the OP by your own admission you:
    - didn't follow policy.
    - didn't vacuum properly.
    - were late from lunch.

    I wouldn't use those examples as unreasonable conduct by your manager unless other staff are not being held to the same standard.

  • D6C1 on 10/10/2017 - 00:57

    Your manager sounds like a retarded psychopath

  • AustriaBargain on 10/10/2017 - 04:23
    +1

    Make sure the next place your work at your manager doesn't have sole authority and isn't involved in making policy decisions themselves. You shouldn't have to work around someone's ego, especially if your own isn't up to the challenge. No one needs that kind of stress. There's probably nothing you can do for the next person other than tell HR, but your manager will probably talk their way out of any kind of mark on their record, they usually do. They've been playing mind games for a long time and if you don't know the system they work in then its usually best to drop it. Confronting bullies can lead to just being bullied in return, when the bully is your boss. Like others said toxic people should be avoided, sounds like you aren't getting paid enough to deal with that.

  • aussieprepper on 10/10/2017 - 07:21

    What ever happen to my apprentice days where we would solve issues with a punch up? Lol.

  • frostman on 10/10/2017 - 08:38
    +1

    kill her with kindness

    Sorry you must be living some fantasy novel like Harry Potter. If you have a deranged manager, kindness will only feed them.

    Kindness works for managers that are great at what they do, skilled, however they sometimes have issues controlling their anger. Responding back with kindness to these people works as it gets them out of this grip and triggers an alert to calm down.

    What you've described above is an over-possessive and controlling person with massive arrogance. Being kind is just going to make matters worse, also being rude is not an option. You also pointed out some mistakes of yours, so I will not be biased and say you're right or she is. You may as well be watering down your mistakes too, we don't know.

    Generally…..

    Do your job, and stand up when you're in the right. You also need to remember you're not always right too. we all make mistakes.
    In your very instance, and if what you said above is true, then I suggest you do your job at the bare minimum and leave, do nothing extra.

    • if your shift finishes at 3pm, leave on the dot
    • if a customer complains about something, 'pass it on to the manager' - let her deal with real work, overload her.
  • sillyguy on 10/10/2017 - 09:48

    I understand you wanting to stand your ground so you're staying at your work. But IMO you should stay away from ur manager, aka get a new job, you deserve better.

    Shit stinks and will always stink no matter what you do with it.

  • ShannonN on 10/10/2017 - 11:24
    +1

    I'd just like to share something that happened at work in 1985 and while not quite like the op environment the stress and trauma it caused and my solution may be of interest to op

    Working as a Stock clerk at a major warehouse facility in NSW at the time.

    I had some injuries obtained by poor ergonomics and poor WH&S rules, observances etc resulting in a 2 week sick leave absence that was escalated into a workplace compensation claim when company refused to accept ;liability Union was called in forcing company to comply.

    When I returned to work, I was not allowed to perform my stock clerk duties as "Company didn't want me to injure myself further" (sarcasm) Instead placing me on general order picking and packing duties with ppl hired to do those tasks, but at the higher wage of my stock clerk classification

    The company then sent me to Coventry, it told all other workers not to associate with me at lunch etc, not to support me, talk with me on threat of being "no longer required" and made working there a misery.

    Each week the newly appointed Union rep (Old one replaced after organizing union action) would come and ask if I was ready to call it quits and leave , I refused.

    I slowed down to doing about a 3rd of what the others were doing in protest knowing they couldn't fire me so soon after a compo claim and union action.

    Hung on for 3 mths hating getting up each morning and having to go to work there.

    I had the last laugh, after 3 mths of vilification when the company dog asked will I quit?

    I said only if they pay me out with 3 mths wages in lieu of notice. plus annual leave with loading etc.

    They countered with 1 mth and finally settled for 2, I walked outta there with close to 4 k after tax, stress free and went into a better job 3 weeks later

    So to the op, you haven't seen workplace stress or been f#cked over like some of us have.

    My advice is to either leave and find somewhere you are comfy working or harden the f#ck up and grow a set and get on with it

  • myusername on 10/10/2017 - 11:53

    seek.com it's time to get on this site

  • Inflow on 10/10/2017 - 13:18

    Brother/sister… I've worked in retail for 6 years, and I had the same problem but it was with the warehouse manager, I could never move positions internally, even when the new store opened literally 5 mins from my house they even denied my transfer and kept making silly excuses. First time when I was rejected while trying to move to different departments I actually tried to improve on the things they wanted but even after that I realised that they are just keeping me here till i quit on my own. That is when I just resigned with proper notice. It hurts putting many years into a company for it to go down the drain thanks to people that think messing with peoples lives/time is fun. As other people say… politics is everywhere but man retail was way too ridiculous. No logical decisions just go on your knees and say yes was the approach in that company. Not professional at all. I Had to take 2 months off to mentally toughen up again as I would crumble everyday at work with that feeling no matter how good I worked ill be in this endless loop of no progression. If you can take that break it would be very good, otherwise any other job will do for the time being.

  • Munki on 10/10/2017 - 13:36

    Hire bikies to sort your manager out. Then find a job with Westpac and buy a high yielding European car worth about 80k.

    Why are we even having this discussion? Is this still OzBargain?

    • [Deactivated] on 10/10/2017 - 16:04

      Why wait until you have found a job? You start investing towards the end of your current job/studies.

  • T1OOO on 10/10/2017 - 16:46
    -1

    you seam to think that just because you let say, got away, or they tolerated your behavior in the past, some how makes you right now? I some how think that they probeabley let you do what you wanted as it was too much of a hassle to pull you up, as it would cause more problems. fact is, if your even one minute late, your late, be professional, have respect for the rules, and youll be fine, empirical evidence of what was ok in the past wont guarantee you it will be in the future.

  • AustriaBargain on 10/10/2017 - 18:48

    You probably choose the best thing in the long run. Avoiding toxic people is easier, but building up an immunity to them is probably better in the long run.

  • smit0847 on 11/10/2017 - 00:56

    Stress leave for a part time retail job? Is that even a thing?!

    I had some awful managers in some awful part time jobs when I was at school/uni and I just look back at them and laugh. It's not your life or your career. Be grateful it's not and your life isnt coming in on your days off to spy on staff. How sad is that.

    A manager I had at my first part time job when I was 17 used to randomly listen to the audio from the security cameras at the counter from her office then blurt through the intercom at me 'why didn't you upsell to that customer'? She also used to come in on Saturday nights to check we were working. This was at a petrol station and I was 17. I honestly laugh about it now.

    Look for a new job ASAP- retail jobs come and go. You will look back on this and laugh I promise you.

  • Lucky13 on 11/10/2017 - 08:02

    Wow start looking for a new job that you enjoy. You went to a psychologist over the whole thing, if its that bad you should just find somewhere else to work. Its just retail you should be able to pick something up easily.

  • Hot on 11/10/2017 - 08:43

    Could this be a case of our education system letting people down?

    It did not give the writer the skill set to deal with situations like this.

    If you work with 10 people chances are 1 will give you problems so changing jobs without having coping tactics in place may lead to more disappointment.

  • skywards on 11/10/2017 - 10:41

    I've had my fair share of power hungry female boss who love to micro manage and make work life miserable. Life is too short, go get another job, with better bosses.

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